The Nanny (1993–1999): Season 4, Episode 17 - Samson, He Denied Her - full transcript

Oh my God. Oh my God.
Mr. Sheffield just called from the limo

and said that he made
a big mistake six months ago

and wants to talk to me about it.

-Six months?
-Paris.

-Plane.
-Told me that he loved me.

Took it back.

-Mistake.
-Mistake.

-Mistake. Mistake.
-Mistake. Mistake.

-He made a big mistake.
-He made a big mistake.

Niles, could Miss Fine and I
have some privacy, please?

-Certainly, sir.
-Thank you.



So Mr. Sheffield, you said you made
some horrible mistake six months ago.

That's right and I want
to make it up to you right now.

One sec.

-Hello?
-Hi, Ma.

Sweetheart, what do you want?
We're just sitting down to eat.

-Can it just wait a sec?
-No.

I think you'll wanna hear this.

Go ahead.

Well, Miss Fine, I just had
a meeting with my accountant

and I realized I took out
too much withholding tax.

I owe you a refund.

That was the big mistake
you made six months ago?

I can't believe that's what
you lured me in here.

You get rid of Niles. You call my mother.



That was you.

Nobody likes a finger-pointer.

Why are you so upset?

Because six months ago
you told me that you loved me

and then you took it back and I thought
that, that was the mistake you made

that you wanted to correct,
not some lousy tax refund.

How much are we talking?

Moving on. How can you be so insensitive?

I thought you understood
why I took back what I said.

I just said I understood.

I was trying to appear reasonable.

I thought it would turn you on.

Maxwell, you are not gonna believe this.

I have been summoned for jury duty.

Well, that is the last time I vote.

Ms. Babcock, maybe I'll go
be on that jury with you.

Nanny Fine, you can't just go.

It's not like Supercuts.

Are you kidding? I've got
a drawer full of those things.

Besides, there's nothing keeping me here.

For God's sake, Miss Fine,
when are you gonna forgive me for this?

Well, I'll give you a little hint.

It beings with an "N"
and ends with an "A".

Never.

She was working in a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens

'Till her boyfriend kicked her out
In one of those crushing scenes

What was she to do, where was she to go
She was out on her fanny

So over the bridge from Flushing
To the Sheffield's door

She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more

She had style, she had flair
She was there

That's how she became the Nanny

Who would have guessed
That the girl we've described

Was just exactly what
The doctor prescribed

Now the father finds her beguiling
Watch out C.C.

And the kids are actually smiling
Such joie de vivre

She is the lady in red
When everybody else is wearing tan

The flashy girl from Flushing
The Nanny named Fran

Oh my God. This is the Vincenzo trial.

Oh! I've just gotta get on this jury.

He is on the cover
of every romance novel.

-You know him?
-No. You read?

Juror Number 2, I'm sorry,
but under marital status

does this say "divorced"?

No. "Disgusted."

-And you are how old?
-Twenty-nine.

Well, who's on trial here, anyway?

-Good news and bad news, sir.
-Good news first.

Ms. Babcock got picked as a juror

and will not be returning to work
for the duration of the trial.

Why is that good news for me?

Not everything is about you, sir.

Now, for the bad news.
Miss Fine was also picked.

Well, actually that's kind of a relief.
Give her a chance to get out of the house.

Meet some new people,
get a change of scenery.

Keep her from killing you
for breaking her heart again?

Just find a temporary
replacement, would you?

Well, be careful what you wish for, sir.

Say hello to your new nanny.

Hear ye, hear ye.

This court is now in session.

The honorable
Judge Jerry Moran presiding.

All rise.

Be seated.

You're all out.

I didn't say, "Simon says."

I never get tired of that.

All right. Proceed.

The People call Vincenzo to the stand.

Sit down.

Not you. Juror Number 2.

Well, he yelled at me, but look at her.

She pushed her chair up nice and close.

Do you mind if I kick off my shoes?
My feet are a little moist.

I am the meat in an idiot sandwich.

Mr. Vincenzo, tell us what happened
the night you were attacked.

I was asleep.

My housekeeper, Kiki,

hovered over my bed.

I thought I was dreaming.

Then that woman
just chopped all of it off.

And that's why
they don't allow female mohels .

Mr. Vincenzo, have you experienced
emotional distress

as a result of this attack?

Of course.
God knows if it will grow back.

The mala femmina .

My career is ruined.

Look what she did to me.

I like it.

Lose the earring.
It's a little too Mr. Clean.

Mr. Vincenzo, why would Ms. Hanson
want to attack you?

I don't know.
In fact, I told her I loved her.

Give her the chair. Pass it down.

Your witness.

Mr. Vincenzo,

tell the court what you did

after you told
Ms. Hanson that you loved her?

I took it back.

Call for a mistrial!

That woman is one hundred percent
absolutely not guilty!

Sorry.

Okay, kids, let's play a new game.

It's called "let's make Sylvia a snack."

But we just played
"let's make Sylvia dinner."

Yeah, but I won.

Okay. Who wants to paint my nails?

I do.

Mamaleh, start with the big one first.

They're all big.

Well, that's cool.

So is he cute?

Really? Did he ask you out on a date?

Hey, Gidget, would you get off the phone?
We're waiting for Fran to call.

Well, this is Fran. Here.
She wants to talk to you.

You know, my hole closed up.

Could you see
if you could push this through?

Hello, sweetheart.

So how's the trial?

Honey, they don't hang people anymore.

Sure. He should rot in hell.

Of course. He's guilty as sin.

I thought she wasn't supposed
to discuss the trial.

She's talking about you.

-Just give me the phone.
-She don't wanna talk to you.

You know, Mr. Sheffield,
you can't play with a woman's emotions.

A woman is like a fragile,
delicate flower.

There's no nail on that toe.
Paint the skin.

Hey, look, the trial's on the news.

At least her being on this jury
will take her mind off what I said

and then, you know, took back.

The Vincenzo trial heated up
when the romance novel heartthrob

revealed he told his employee
he loved her, then took it back.

Niles, which arm tingles
when you're about to get a heart attack?

You are so vain.

Not everything in Miss Fine's life
is colored by her feelings for you.

The jury sat stone-faced
through Vincenzo's testimony,

except for a lone juror
who had to be physically restrained.

Will you hold this a minute?

Just look at that poor girl.

See, that is what happens when a man
tells you that he loves you

and then he takes it back.

Any woman in her position
would have done the exact same thing.

-What are you looking for?
-My Dexatrim.

Ms. Hanson, you claim not to have
a key to Vincenzo's room.

Yet as his live-in maid,

you must have total access
to every room in the house.

This is so low, they're playing
the domestic help card.

Can you tell us how your fingerprints
got onto People's Exhibit Number 6?

I don't know.

And how did you get
those cuts on your hands?

I don't know.

She's just so obviously innocent.

Investigators uncovered a size eight,

Manolo Blahnik stiletto heel print
at the scene.

In your deposition, you claim
that you would never own

such an ugly pair of shoes.

How do you explain this photograph?

Well, it's obviously been doctored.
I mean, those shoes are white.

The crime took place after Labor Day.
There goes the whole timeline.

There's a voice in here
that's really irritating me.

Hey, shut up over there.

You lied about these shoes.

You lied about being
in his room that night.

And you lied about using those scissors
to deform him, didn't you?

I would never hurt Vincenzo!

I knew him when he was just
Bernie Schwartzberg!

Anyone else would have killed him!
All I did was cut his hair!

-Did you hear that?
-I don't believe it!

He's Jewish.

Niles, Sylvia has been
calling for you for ten minutes.

-Why haven't you answered her?
-She was calling from the tub, sir.

By the way, where's my lunch?

When the ingredients are combined,
she can smell them immediately.

May I, sir?

-Niles!
-Quick.

She's onto us, sir.

Don't bother to chew it.
Just swallow it whole.

Do I smell dry Cotto salami
with a sweet honey mustard...

...on a kaiser roll?

I really wanted that.

You know, if Jimmy Hoffa
had a corned beef sandwich

in his pocket, she'd have
found him in a week.

-"Guilty."
-Yes.

-"Guilty."
-Yeah.

-And one "not guilty."
-Come on.

Come on.

Hey, lady, what part of this exactly
is it that you don't understand?

The confession under oath?

Or the neighbor's video
that showed her doing it?

You ever hear of "guilty as sin"?

Ever hear of Arrid Extra Dry?

All right, Nanny Fine,
if you don't vote guilty

I am gonna swing you
by the head like a dead cat!

I have been stuck in that hotel room
with you for eight days.

I'm singing myself to sleep

with "A horse is a horse,
of course, of course."

Well, excuse me.

That man told her that he loved her
and then he took it back.

Do you know what
that does to a person?

Hasn't anybody ever driven
anyone here to commit an insane act?

I can't say that ever happened.

-Oh, so your kids, they call you a lot?
-No.

-But they see you at least once a week?
-Once a month.

And only if I beg.

Oh, it's not my son.
It's that cow he married.

Sometimes I just wanna shake...

-Not guilty.

No!

Could it be that you're just
a little sensitive to this shrew maid

because you have some fantasy

of ending up
with your employer yourself?

Let she who is without fantasy
cast the first stone.

And for your information,
I am completely able

to separate myself from this case.

Miss, did you even listen
to Vincenzo's reasons

for taking back what he said? I quote:

"Ms. Hanson and I had feelings
for each other

but I couldn't risk the romance.

She was like a mother to my children."

But the kids adore me. Her! Me! Her!

"My children couldn't handle
losing another mother

if our relationship didn't work out."

Same thing happened to me
when I was a little boy.

You like a sensitive guy?

Yes.

I used to be one.

So in other words, the reason
why he couldn't commit to her

was because he was
so much in love with her,

he was afraid that if he blew it,

not only would it hurt the kids,
but he would lose her forever.

And that's why he took back the thing.

-Yes!
-Yes!

-What thing?
-Shut up!

Is that a southwest, barbecued
chicken on grilled sourdough

with a side of shoestring fries?

Could I have one little bite?

It's not sanitary, sweetheart.

Hold it right there.

Give that southwest, barbecued
chicken on grilled sourdough

with a side of shoestrings
fries back to the boy.

God bless you, Fran. Welcome home.

How's Mr. Sheffield?

You know, he's very antisocial.

The whole time I was here,
he never came out of his office.

Gee, that's just like Daddy.

Wonder what that's about?

-Bye, sweetheart.
-Bye, Ma. Thank you.

Miss Fine, you're back.

Look, before we pick up where we left off

I want you to remember
that I've been living

with your mother for a week.

I think I deserve
a little time off my sentence.

Mr. Sheffield, I understand now
why you took back what you said

and I'm not angry with you anymore.

No, no, come on, don't toy with me,
Miss Fine. I'm weak with hunger.

I'm not toying with you. Come here.

Now I'm toying with you.

Did you see the news?

Vincenzo convinced the prosecutor
to drop the charges

and just married his housekeeper.

If you think that holding me tight
is gonna get you out of this one, mister,

well, you're just gonna have to move
your hands a little lower.

"Her alabaster skin was pressed
against his taut, muscular body.

Their lips met

and the two became one."

Hey, this is my fantasy.

But I lent you the book.

Now,

let's go to the chapter
where we're shipwrecked.