The Mysteries of Laura (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Mystery of the Sex Scandal - full transcript

I have no comment.

Now, I'm happy to talk
about marriage and equality.

I'm happy to talk about tax
incentives for small businesses.

But I refuse to talk about
these baseless allegations.

Yes. According to my anonymous source,

Congressman Jameson had
an extra-marital affair

with a 26-year-old campaign
staffer, Caitlin Coyne.

He, of course, denies the affair.

We'll see how this evolves when I sit
down for an exclusive live interview

tomorrow night with the alleged mistress.

Taxi for two boys!



Whoa, what is going on?

The boys have "guess- what-I-am"
presentation in science class today.

Guess when I found out?

Today.

A tumor?

Octopus.

Mmm.

Well...

- Not even gonna guess.
- Hedgehog.

- Huh...
- I know.

Mom fail. They're gonna
repossess my PTA card.

Uh, okay. So this might not be the
best time to ask you this, but...

No. No, no, no. It's my day off,

and I have a spa Groupon that expires today.



All right. But this is a big one.

This is the Jameson scandal.

Does anyone even consider a politician
cheating on his wife a scandal anymore?

- No.
- Where's the water bottles?

- Affair hasn't even been confirmed.
- Oh.

Did you run that spin in
cheaty husband camp?

Jameson himself was down at
1 Police Plaza this morning,

says he didn't do it.

Oh! Guy says he didn't cheat and
you believe him. Who are you? Me?

The commissioner thinks this
might be a setup for extortion.

Campaign is in our precinct
so we caught the case.

Now, I need you to follow the staffer.

Ah. Two words. "Spa" and "day."

Laura. You are my best detective.

You've got skills that I just don't have.

- Oh, please.
- Okay, fine.

You can follow her into
the bathroom. I can't.

You know who else has
that super special ability

to follow a woman into a bathroom?

Any woman.

Even Meredith qualifies.

Nicholas, where is the sight word
test? I know that I signed it.

The hamster ate it.

The hamster died six
weeks ago, thanks for noticing.

I will take care of the boys.

Look, I need you on this one.

You're my best detective.

You say that like it's a good thing.

Hello, Caitlin.

- Caitlin!
- Tell us what's going on?

Caitlin, over here!

We're live!
We're live, right now!

C'mon, Caitlin!

Gonna get stuck on a train
with wall-to-wall paparazzi.

Dumb move, Caitlin.

Unless...

Oh, yes, you did.

Not so dumb after all.

__

- This is it!
- Welcome to The Hunger Games.

- This is my rack.
- Oh, which piece?

All of it.

- You can't do that.
- Yes, I can.

One, two, three. Called it.

This woman's hoarding!

Wait, no, no, no, wait. No, this is my rack.

No, wait. Hold it.

Whoa. Hey, whoa, back off.

Oh, my gosh. Okay. Man down.

I called it.

Nice get.

Eh, you take it.

I love the color, but,

I haven't done the spaghetti straps since

my wardrobe malfunction at prom.

Think it will go with my cape?

- I think it's a nightgown.
- I know it's a nightgown.

- Sorry, I'm being too...
- Honest?

No, I love it. It doesn't happen too often.

And especially at a sample sale.

Yeah.

Honesty hasn't been my strong suit lately.

But at some point,

I gotta face the music.

__

- What do you got?
- New skirt, 60% off.

I also just had a moment with her.

She seemed nice, not very Paula Jones-y.

Doesn't mean she's not.

Wait. She's been
standing there too long.

This might be a meet-up.

Someone call an ambulance!

Hold on! Caitlin?

Stay with me.

She looked nervous.

I don't think she had any idea
that her life was in danger.

I was right there.

I mean, right there.

Wasn't your fault, all right?

Detective, detective, hi.

Hey, so, Caitlin Coyne, died in your
arms. Can I ask you some questions?

No, but you can answer one.

Who was your source on the Jameson story?

You think I'm gonna give
up a confidential source?

When it can be a murder suspect, hell, yeah.

You ever heard of obstruction of justice?

Hell yeah. You ever heard of
the journalist's shield law?

Start talking or move on.

There was a single shot to
the chest fired at close range.

They probably used a silencer.

The tech said they found the shell
casing 10 feet from the body.

Well, at least the shooter chose the most
surveilled spot in all of New York City.

So we just need to get a
warrant on every camera

that even thinks about
looking in this direction.

Got her home address.
I'll go check out her place.

- I'm gonna go talk to the congressman.
- All right.

None of this makes any sense.

All the rumors, now this?

By this, you mean your mistress
being shot dead in Times Square?

- Alleged mistress.
- Are you his lawyer?

Any objection to me asking about an alibi?

I was at a pancake breakfast at the
children's initiative all morning.

Maybe you didn't pull the trigger
yourself, but call me crazy,

it sure does look bad that the one person
who could verify the adultery rumors

- winds up dead.
- You got this all wrong.

Caitlin was the one person who
could have cleared my name.

Well, now she can't. She's
conveniently in the morgue.

I didn't have an affair. There's no way.

We're not judging your
behavior, congressman.

Captain, I'm telling you...

There is no physical way.

Oh.

Equipment...

problems.

Well, I hope you'll forgive the intrusion

- but even that is gonna need verification.
- You'll get it.

My doctor can send my records.

But please be discreet.
This could end my career.

If it's not ended already.

If the affair was a lie, then why was
Caitlin named as the other woman?

I don't know. But I can't believe
Caitlin had anything to do with it.

She was a genuinely good person.

I mean, ask anyone, she lit up the room.

We lived together since law school, but,

I hadn't seen much of her since she
started volunteering on the campaign.

So, she spent a lot of late
nights at the Jameson camp?

- Did she talk about him?
- No. Not how you're thinking.

Not how everyone is thinking.

I mean, she talked about his
causes and his social reform.

- That was it.
- Was she seeing anyone?

She made a choice to focus on work when
she got hired at the justice defense fund.

She worked for a guy named
Walters. That was her dream job.

I'm gonna need an address.

- Here.
- Thanks.

She bombed the LSATs, SATs,
but she worked her butt off

and graduated Magna from Fordham Law.

Heather, I hate to ask you this, but
where were you today at noon?

In my firm's library.

Look, I am the last person
that would ever hurt Caitlin.

She was my best friend.

I would do anything for her.

Where were you when
you heard, Mr. Walters?

I was in an immigration hearing all morning,

and when I came out, I saw
the news feed in the lobby.

It's impossibly painful.

Caitlin was like family to us.

Did she have any disgruntled clients?

You know, detective, the people who
come to this clinic are used to losing,

and so if somebody like
Caitlin fights for them,

they've really already won.

Wow! You won Debate Nationals?

Guilty as charged.

"Resolved

"that the federal government
should establish and finance

"administrative departments

"to control air and water pollution

"in the United States."

Crushed Bronx science to pieces.

I was on varsity debate in 12th grade.

We lost in octo-finals at state.

Andrew Cohen, of course, blames me

even though he was the one that
dropped topicality in rebuttal.

Nerd.

Actually,

public speaking is what
brought me to Caitlin.

I judged her in moot court at Fordham,

immediately hired her as an intern,

right here at justice defense.

She was our rising star.

If she was such a star, why would you let
her go off to work on the Jameson campaign?

Well, I worked on the last Jameson campaign.

In fact, I was on his
short list for a judgeship.

He's a social reform advocate,

so I thought he would be a perfect
match for Caitlin, given her politics.

Do you have any suspicions about Jameson?

Not in the slightest. He's a delightful man.

More to the point, I
simply cannot see Caitlin

throwing away a promising career

to be the affair of the week
punchline for late night talk shows.

Do you have any idea who might
have started those rumors?

I would take a hard look

at that so-called journalist, Store.

That guy would do anything for a headline.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I have a deposition.

You can stay here,

drink your coffee,

and let me know if I
can help you in any way.

Thank you.

Caitlin looked like she was meeting
someone at Times Square.

- It could have been Store.
- He was the first reporter on the scene.

A little too convenient?

- Let's get Max to pull everything from...
- Done.

So, that's the last of Store's
blog posts, phone records,

and, uh... oh, it looks like you're almost
done with the credit card statements.

- And it appears the chicken shumai.
- Knock yourself out.

You wanna laugh? Look at this.

AOL.

My grandmother canceled AOL back in the '90s

but we might have something here.

Store drops 350 bucks at Dahlia's Tea Room

every Tuesday and Thursday like clockwork.

That's a lot of darjeeling.

Laura and I are going to join
him for a little Tuesday tea time.

Do you hear that silence?

It's the sound of my spa Groupon expiring.

I'll let you know if I see Store.

Every time a Groupon expires, a kitten dies.

Whoa! Okay.

- You need a menu?
- You need pants?

This ain't your momma's BDSM club.

I have no idea what those initials stand for

but I'm sure you're right about my momma.

What can I get for

$350?

30 minutes of bondage.

For beginners.

For $350?

Does that come with a gift bag?

- And a pony?
- No, no, no, no. I don't want the pony.

Trust me.

Mistress Alex will be right with you.

First door on your left.

Let's split up.

Mistress Alex
will be right with you.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Hey, I still got five minutes.

And this little
piggy went to bondage.

Vaya con dios.

Stay down. I'm taking over.

Go momma-matrix!

Yes, mistress.

Are you here to punish me?

Depends.

Have you misbehaved?

Oh, yes, I misbehaved.

- Cheated?
- Yes.

- Lied?
- Yes.

- Hurt people?
- Yes.

Yes, yes. Oh, yes!

A lot. I need to be punished.

Tell your cellmate at Rikers.

What the hell are you doing here?

You fabricated a story about Caitlin

and hours later, she was shot dead.

That makes you the prime suspect.

Are you kidding me? You've got nothing.

- No, please. I swear I didn't kill Caitlin.
- Prove it.

Or I'm dragging you out of here in
your dog collar and tighty-whities.

No, please, don't...

- Listen.
- Mr. Store. This is Caitlin Coyne.

I had an affair with Mike Jameson and
I want to tell you the whole story.

I had to give my eyes a bath
last night, but good news.

Store finally gave up his source.

- Caitlin.
- So wait, she did have the affair?

- No.
- Confused.

Listen.

I had sex with Mike
Jameson at the El Rey Hotel

on April 12th.

He pulled down the straps on my dress

and started kissing my shoulders.

The problem is, the El Rey
didn't open until el May.

So, you think she made it all up?

Hmm. Now listen to this last call
that came in after the story broke.

I have evidence
that you need to see.

Bring it to the interview.
Don't show anyone before then.

Don't worry. It's
completely sub rosa.

Sub rosa. Lawyer term. Latin for secret.

So this was some sort of political
dirty trick? Someone paying her to lie?

I have Max looking into her financials.

Meanwhile I'm gonna go talk to the
person who has the most to gain

if Jameson loses. His opponent.

You're not meeting big Bill McGuire
on your own. He's a bit uptight.

Well, his campaign stop isn't.

Whoa!

Ahhh!

I think I might have accidentally twerked.

That was no accident.

There's McGuire.

And we all have our traditions.

You have Diwali and I have "Di Super Bowl".

Remind me to give a donation
to the Jameson campaign.

Look, we're all New Yorkers.

So you'll be glad to know I spent
the last week at the Geneva Summit

talking about economic reform.

Switzerland's a pretty good alibi.

And I will not rest until
I bring that reform to you,

the good people of New York.

What the hell were you thinking?

I had a better PA system on
my high school forensics team.

I'm so sorry, Bill. We could try
to get a new system before...

Nah. I have seen your charm on politicians.

I'll talk to McGuire.

I've seen your charm with women.

I'll talk to the campaign manager.

You know that sort of thing can't happen.

It ruins everything.

And you see how he reacts to
that. He doesn't take it well.

Looks like you could use some barfi.

It's better than it sounds.

- Thank you. I haven't eaten all day.
- Oh.

- We're not supposed to eat on the job.
- It's the only time I eat.

You know, some of us campaign moms

secretly call big Billy McGuire,

big Bully McGuire.

McGuire's not so bad. At least he's not...

Who?

Calvin Gold.

The dark prince of campaign managers.

He suddenly left three days ago
leaving me holding the bag.

Right. Right.

Wow, what happened to him again?

- Rehab.
- Oh.

Alcohol, drugs, pervy stuff?

Anger management.

He punched a 55-year-old volunteer.

Landed him two weeks at Serenity Gardens.

- Elizabeth!
- Coming.

- What the hell is this?
- Welcome to Times Square.

Ah, I didn't recognize it without
the stench of roasted peanuts

and taxi exhaust.

Red tape shows the sight lines of
every camera between 42nd and 45th.

This is where Caitlin was
standing when she was shot?

The shell casings were
found right around here.

Exactly. But get this.
Where you're standing,

the intersection of 43rd
and 4th is out of range

of every single video
camera in the vicinity.

Please. You're telling me there's a
blind spot in the middle of Times Square?

How do we not know about this?

Especially when our killer clearly
did and lured Caitlin right into it.

But the shooter had to get into

and out of the area beforehand.

Alright, Meredith, I want you to
get footage from the cameras there

and here.

And I will fill Laura in when she
gets back from Serenity Gardens.

Laura is in rehab? She
gets to do everything fun.

Hope she's not trying to question a patient.

They don't let anyone in that place.

Have you met Laura?

Hi.

I just want to check in.

I'd love something with a view

and what time does room service end?

This is a facility for clinical disorders.

You can't just check in.

You need a diagnosis.

- Mom burnout.
- From a doctor.

I am too burned out to go to a doctor,

with soccer and Tae Kwon Do,

and violin and allergy shots

and making costumes for the science thingy

that the school announced
at the bottom of this

ridiculously long e-mail.

Who reads those e-mails?

I had gummy bears for dinner last night.

I don't remember the last
time both legs were shaved.

And my last parent-teacher conference
meeting ended with the teacher leaving...

- the profession.
- Room service ends at 10:00.

Thank you.

You're Calvin Gold, aren't you? Big fan.

It's the quiet garden, so...

Right. My bad.

Your guy's up 13 points in the polls.

- How do you do it?
- 13 points?

- Yeah.
- How did I do it?

They confiscated my BlackBerry.

- Both of them.
- So you don't know?

Double header. Sex scandal and murder.

Whoa!

Jameson and who's the mistress?

Caitlin Coyne, some staffer.

And then she was shot in Times
Square, and no one saw who did it.

The blind spot.

The blind spot?

Last year the secret service found a blind
spot smack in the middle of Times Square.

No security cams. Highly classified.

- Well.
- Mmm.

Someone knew about it.
Besides you, obviously.

Well, the hacks they found to
replace me don't know anything.

And if you're suggesting I puppet
mastered an assassination from rehab,

I'm flattered, and I could have,

but McGuire was busted for
ethics violations last go round,

so he wouldn't even allow a smear campaign.

Which was why I've been so wound up,

I punched that stupid
volunteer in his stupid face.

Well, his poll numbers are up now.

Someone at the campaign
knows what they're doing.

Dumb luck.

If I had set up the sex scandal,

I certainly wouldn't
have killed the girl now.

Timing was sloppy.

Work of an amateur.

But, you're right about one thing.

Whoever did this wanted to
make sure that McGuire wins.

Now playing in theater one,

security footage from the
Times Square Game Pipe store,

six minutes before the shooting.

Wait for it...

Whoa! Does it start up again?

Five minutes after the shooting.

What are the odds? All right,
Meredith, Billy, you're on this.

They don't get a lot of women here.

Don't think these guys get
a lot of women anywhere.

We need to speak to whoever
controls your security cameras.

Uh... inside...

- Hey! Hey!
- Whoa! Whoa!

Excuse me, pardon me, pardon me.

Whoa! Excuse me, excuse me!

Move, move, move, move!

Stop! Police! Step aside! Step aside!

- Freeze!
- Don't move!

Liberty, meet justice.

Sup?

What happened to that woman wasn't my fault!

Okay, so you just happened to
turn off the security cameras

at the exact time that she was
murdered outside your store?

It wasn't like that. I had no
idea there was gonna be a murder.

Then why did you unplug the camera?

The overlord told me to do it.

"The overlord"? Great. Get psych in here.

I'm not crazy.

I was at work, we were slow that day.

So, I was playing Scepter of Shield online.

And I saw this guy playing in God mode.

Impossible. Scepter has the
strongest encryption of any game.

That's what I thought. But this
guy had flight, invisibility...

So you're saying he
modified the source code?

Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What are you two talking about?

- And are you a closet gamer?
- Me?

No.

I dated a huge gamer once.
He told me about God mode.

It's when someone hacks into a game and
can make their character immortal, right?

But Scepter's supposed to be unhackable.

- Okay, so who's this overlord?
- No idea. Overlord's his avatar.

He IM'd me while I was online.

He knew my name,
address, social, everything.

He told me to unplug the security
camera at a specific time,

or he would tell my boss
about my porn addiction.

Okay.

I had no choice.

- How was rehab?
- No noise, firm mattress,

best three hours of my life.

You were right, somebody
else is calling the shots.

Calls himself the overlord.

That's his avatar, an avatar...

Got it, blue people, I
slept through the movie.

Hold on a second.

I'll have you know Avatar is the
best film of the last 20 years.

Which is about how
long it takes to watch it.

Okay. What do we know about this overlord?

He's a world class hacker.

He dug up some dirt on the
clerk from the Game Pipe.

Maybe he dug up something on
Caitlin, and used it against her.

Plausible, but why kill her
after she had cooperated?

Caitlin said something
about facing the music.

What if she was about to
go public and say that she

was blackmailed into lying about the affair?

It might have pissed off the
overlord enough to kill her.

Yup. We just need to find
out what he had on her.

Let's go. Billy, Meredith, go online
and see if you can track this overlord.

No problem.

And I'll have you know,
my avatar is unstoppable!

Okay.

- Ugh! Fail.
- Was that supposed to happen?

I'm a level 12 paladin, this is very
advanced, you wouldn't understand.

Legendary!

Does that guy have a wolf head?

Oh, overlord.

Okay, try to see if you can get
somebody to track his gamer I.D.

I'm gonna teach this guy some manners.

It's gamer tag.

Can't you just shoot him or something?

This guy's too good, he's got
moves I've never seen before.

Maybe if you had moves of your own...

- What? Ugh!
- Come on! Okay, use the wall of fire.

- What?
- It's control-alt-shift, just do it.

Nice! Wow.

Wait. Where'd he go? Oh, we lost him. Crap.

- Okay, go to that rock.
- Mmm-hmm.

It's an easter egg. It
unlocks the circle spell.

All right.

You know what? There is no
gamer ex-boyfriend, is there?

- You're the expert.
- What?

- Mmm-hmm.
- No...

Yeah.

Okay, kick-kick-flame combo
will unlock the dragon fire

okay, listen. We're trying
to catch a murderer here.

If you have some secret ninja gamer
skill, let your freak flag fly.

Move.

Legendary!

Wow. And you were keeping
your superpowers hidden why?

Do you have any idea how
hard it is for me to be

taken seriously as a young female detective?

And if they figured out I
was a hardcore gamer? Huh.

You better keep this between us, Soto,

or I will kick your ass in real life.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Easy with the crazy. Play the
game. I'll keep your secret.

Nice!

Okay, Caitlin, what
music did you need to face?

Caitlin's practice test for the bar exam.

She never got higher than 50%.

Whoa! Heather was right.

She bombed the LSATs, SATs.

Caitlin was not good at taking tests.

I'm amazed she passed the bar at all.

You find anything?

No, nothing yet.

Oh, bingo!

No one can leave a box
of Gold Fancies uneaten.

I remember I ate these when I was pregnant.

I don't remember you ever not eating them.

Okay, Caitlin, where
are your secrets hidden?

Secrets.

Sub rosa.

She meant it literally, under the rose.

Hello.

Caitlin's I.D. with Heather's photograph?

Blackmail, anyone?

Let's go talk to the BFF.

Oh, my God.

I don't think we're gonna
get anything out of Heather.

Anything useful in Heather's bag?

Wallet, credit cards, the usual, but...

Saturday crossword done in Sharpie.

Oh, she was smart, huh?

Caitlin bombed her SATs,
LSATs, all of her prep tests,

so how did she pass the bar exam?

Heather took it for her?

Heather said she would
do anything for Caitlin.

Handwriting analysis is in!

State bar exam sign-in sheet had
Caitlin's name with Heather's handwriting.

Let's see what it gets us.

Heather helped Caitlin
cheat, she ended up dead.

So she must've known about blackmail...

Is that why she didn't say anything?

Probably worried about being disbarred,

maybe even implicated in the murder.

That's a good theory, but it
doesn't leave us any suspects.

Any leads on the overlord?

Uh, yeah, we're zeroing
in on his exact location.

I just needed a little
strawberry whipped boost.

- Where's Meredith?
- Taking notes.

There you go.

Ah, check this out. His gamer stats
show ridiculously fast ping time.

Which means he's not
too far from the server.

Hmm. Which is in... Queens.

Nice work, level 12.

I'll get the team ready.

So, once we trace his signal,
we have an exact address?

Normally, yes. But he's
got a massive firewall.

There's no way we're breaking in.

Unless, we get him to break into us.

Yeah, if he hacks into our system,
we can probably get a trace on him.

How do we get him to hack us?

We need to pique his interest.

- Hey! By blowing my ass up?
- You had 4% health, it was a mercy killing.

If we're gonna lure this
guy in, we need better bait.

Meet my avatar.

Foxy99.

You're a level 40 paladin?

Level 40.

Oh, we've got something.

We've got him.

I want to watch you. Turn on your camera.

Ugh, not good. Not good.

Stall him.

Why don't you turn it on for me?

- What?
- We gotta sell this place as not a police station.

Okay, well hurry. Our firewall will
slow him down, but not for long.

All right, all right.

Oh, no. He really thinks I work at a bank.

Too big for you to handle?

Max is gonna be pissed.

Go! Go! Go!

Okay.

Mmm, you're hot.

One Direction, seriously?

One D. It's my thing.

- Hmm.
- Let's play. Follow me.

__

Police! Don't move!

You win!

Put your hands in the air!

Turn around.

Turn around!

Game over.

And my alarm sensors, and my
security cam feed are blowing up.

It's the cops busting down my door.

Not exactly a 15-year-old geek.

Real name, Paul Scott.

Arrested for hacking the secret service,

presumably including a certain
file, and a certain blind spot.

Yes you are! You're my guy!

Looks like he called my mother-in-law
instead of his attorney.

Nice, leave her out of it.

Huh, lawyers usually
like getting hired.

I assume your
attorney won't be joining us?

Get me a public defender.

Suit yourself. Al, put him in the cage.

Justice defense fund, may I help you?

You just did.

Congressman Jameson!

Congressman.

Captain.

How can I help you?

I'd like to ask you a few
questions about Caitlin Coyne.

Ah, sorry, captain. I told
you everything I know.

Did you know her boss, Kenneth Walters?

I'm sure I know the name,
can't place him though.

So you never considered
putting Kenneth Walters

forward as candidate for judge?

Ha! No. That I'd remember.

All right, thank you.

Well, you're two for two.

Oh, good. There are lots of lawyers here.

Gotta make sure we do this by the book.

- Do what?
- Arrest you.

For the murders of Caitlin
Coyne and Heather Daniels.

You've got to be kidding.

Caitlin was like a daughter to me.

I've been grooming her
to take over this clinic.

Yeah, because you were expecting
to be put onto the bench.

Jameson didn't come through.

But, big Billy McGuire did, didn't he?

He pinky promised that he would make sure

that you were made a
judge if he was elected.

McGuire's on the other side
of the political spectrum.

Yes, but friendship runs deep.

You know McGuire from high school debate.

I'm sorry, forensics.

So what?

And even if McGuire could
help me become a judge,

that doesn't mean I'd
do anything to Caitlin.

She was my best associate!

Well, your best associate
made a terrible mistake.

She trusted you with her darkest secret.

That she cheated on the bar exam.

And you used that secret to blackmail her.

- Oh, it's outrageous.
- She went along with it. At first.

Leaked a false story about an affair,

but then when she saw
the harm it was causing,

she made a second meeting with Store.

I have evidence
that you need to see.

This time, to tell the truth.
But the truth would ruin you.

So you decided to get rid of Caitlin.

That was tricky, because
the paparazzi was around,

so you asked her to meet
you in Times Square.

Schlubby guy, practically
is invisible in a crowd.

Which allowed you to pull the trigger...

And disappear into the sea of tourists.

Oh! It gets worse.

Caitlin's roommate,
Heather, she knew too much.

So you shot her too.

You have no evidentiary
support for any of this!

Is that your rebuttal? Weak.

Here's my rebuttal.

You said that you were at an
immigration hearing yesterday.

That court was closed for fumigation.

That doesn't mean I killed anybody.

Your old client, Paul Scott, aka overlord?

He called you today for help,
you told him to get lost.

He told us that you had him blackmail
the Times Square store clerk

to shut off a surveillance camera.

So that you literally could
get away with murder.

I did everything right, for 28 years.

I never turned my back on anyone.

I fought for every victim. Every loser.

Do I get any credit for that?

All I wanted was a place on the bench,

and that judgeship, that
should've been mine.

Jameson intentionally blocked me!

Jameson has no idea who you are.

I earned that job!

Ahhh!

Really? You had to steal my thunder?

You shoot the next one.

Mondo bust.

Old lefty lawyer turned ruthless killer,

I would've said inconceivable.

Go figure.

Commissioner just called to congratulate us.

Whatever you did in there was amazing,

I had no idea you were
such a hardcore gamer.

Umm...

- Thanks.
- Nerd.

Thanks for having my back.

- You deserve the credit.
- I have something better.

Which is?

A little parting gift from the overlord.

All the easter eggs in Scepter.

- Oh, I am...
- Oh! No, no.

Okay.

Hey, where's our red-headed menace?

- Spa day.
- Ah!

I am peace. I am calm. I am rejuvenated.

I am peace. I am calm. I am rejuvenated.

I am peace. I am calm. I am rejuvenated.

I am peace. I am calm. I am rejuvenated.