The Munsters (1964–1966): Season 2, Episode 9 - John Doe Munster - full transcript
Herman develops amnesia after a three hundred pound safe falls on his head (and bounces off). The police take him into protective custody and rename him 'John Doe'. The only way for Lily to bring her husband home is to legally adopt him. When 'John' still doesn't show any sign of recognition after ten days, Lily and Grandpa comes up with a plan to shock John back into Herman by having Grandpa disguise himself as Rock Hudson and pretend to woo Lily. He ends up looking more like Rudolph Valentino instead.
How's the market? Not so good.
International Pine Box
closed at a new low.
American Tombstone
toppled from its high point...
and now the government is threatening
to slap a lid on International Casket.
Well, never mind, Grandpa, remember,
everything that's down has to go up.
And by the same token,
everything that's up has to go down...
which is what keeps
Herman in business.
Is Pop home yet? Not
yet, dear. But be patient.
He'll be home in two
shakes of a werewolf's tail.
And when he does come
home, we'll let you know.
Why is Eddie so anxious for
Uncle Herman to come home?
Well, because
Herman's his father...
and he loves him, respects him, and
looks up to him with great admiration.
Yeah, and on top of that...
he promised to stop off
downtown and buy me a new kite.
Okay, come on up.
Up, up, up.
That's it, higher.
Okay.
Hank, watch out! The
rope's gonna break!
Don't move, we'll call an
ambulance. Ambulance?
Thank you, you're very
kind, sir, but I feel fine.
Impossible, it flattened
your head like a pancake.
I don't know what you're
talking about. I never felt better.
Mister, don't be so confident.
Wait till you look in a mirror.
Just look at him.
We'd better get his name
before he kicks the bucket.
I don't know what's
keeping him up.
What's your name,
mister? My name?
My name is...
My name?
That's funny, I haven't
got the vaguest idea.
My name is...
Herman is three hours late.
What could have happened to him?
Maybe the store
was all out of kites...
and he's too ashamed to face me.
No, he's had an accident.
There's no other explanation.
My Hermie has had an accident.
Lily, don't be so pessimistic.
Well, all I know is I wish he'd hurry up
and get home to give me my new kite.
Eddie, I wish you'd stop
worrying about your stupid kite...
and start worrying
about your stupid father.
Eddie, your father
wouldn't let you down.
Even if he was lying dead someplace,
he'd be thoughtful enough to phone.
8:30 and where's Big Daddy?
8:30, it's time for my
favorite TV program.
It's all about that
crazy, mixed-up family...
that's always having those
weird, fantastic adventures.
We delay the start
of My Three Sons...
to bring you this
special bulletin.
Local police have taken an
amnesia victim into protective custody.
Here is a picture of
the amnesia victim.
Anyone who can
identify this man...
is urged to contact police
headquarters immediately.
Well, that's not
John Doe, that's Pop.
Uncle Herman has amnesia.
My poor, poor darling.
Lily, be calm. Herman is
safe and in good hands.
And you and I will go down to
claim him, right after My Three Sons.
No, we won't, we'll go
down and claim him now.
Grandpa, you go
and get your cloak.
Yes, Professor. Yes,
we'll check them both out.
Thank you for
being good citizens.
That, Officer Kugel,
was the university.
Two of their scientists saw a
picture of John Doe on television...
and each got a theory.
One figures he's a
creature from outer space.
And the other?
The other figures
he's a missing link...
but he can't figure
what he's a link to.
Sarge, do you see what I see?
Look at their complexions,
they're green. What are they?
I don't know...
but if they were fish, the Board of
Health wouldn't let you sell them.
Good evening, what
can I do for you?
Well, you can direct us to the
Lost and Found Department.
What did you lose,
Pops, your marbles? No.
We lost my husband and his
son-in-law, Herman Munster.
Alias John Doe.
A John Doe?
He's ours, and we
want him back. Why?
Officer Kugel, shut up
and bring in John Doe.
Now, you must remember
that amnesia is very delicate.
If you just tell the victim who
he is, like a bolt out of the blue...
you're liable to shock him
into a psychological trance.
So just wait for him
to recognize you.
Okay? Okay.
Sergeant, do you know
how he got amnesia?
He got hit on the head
with a 300-pound safe.
I see.
Oh, hi.
John, this is Mrs.
Munster, and her father.
How do you do? How do you do?
Hi, there. Hi.
Do they look familiar?
I've never seen these
people before in my life.
Steady, Lily, be brave.
Are you sure? I'm positive.
I'd remember a cute little
cookie like Mrs. Munster.
Okay, Kugel, take him back.
Shall we go? Sure. Come on.
It's been very nice meeting you.
Bye.
Did you ever hear the one about
the elephant and the peanut?
I'm sorry, folks. I know you'd
like to take him home with you...
but until he knows himself who he is, I
can't release him without a court order.
But he's my husband
and the father of our child.
We want him home
where he belongs.
Well, in view of
his condition...
you might try to petition the
court for legal custody of the victim.
Adoption approved.
Amy, you're a very lucky child to be
adopted by such wonderful parents.
I'm sure you'll be
a very happy family.
All right, bailiff,
next case, please.
Mrs. Lily Munster...
and John Doe.
Say, excuse me, I'm on.
Give him back his comic books.
That's all right, you can keep them.
What a nice kid.
Hello, there.
Good morning, Your Honor.
Good morn...
Good morning.
This is the child?
Well, yes and no.
He's recovering
from an accident.
Oh.
Must have been a beauty.
Well, I've had people
adopt adults before...
but are you sure you
want to adopt him?
Yes, Your Honor, I am.
Yes, you see, Your Honor,
she believes that older children...
need love and guidance just
as much as younger ones do.
Just a minute, who are you? I'm
Mrs. Munster's trustworthy father.
Wait a minute.
This isn't one of those
Candid Camera stunts, is it?
No, sir...
I don't think so.
Well, now, Mrs.
Munster, tell me...
have you given this
careful consideration?
Yes, Your Honor, I have.
And before you made
your final decision...
did you go to the orphanage and
see what... who else was available?
No.
No, I took one look at John...
and I knew I couldn't
live without him.
Thanks, Mom.
John, tell me, have you
thought this thing out?
I mean, do you want to go
home with these people...
and become a
member of this family?
Can I have my own
television set? Of course, John.
You've got yourself a deal.
Well...
I see from your
financial statement...
that you're able to
take care of a ward.
The child is willing.
Okay, the adoption is granted,
on a temporary trial basis.
Bailiff, call the next case.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Your Honor, what exactly do you
mean by "temporary trial basis"?
Well, if you realize
you've made a mistake...
just call me, and I'll see what I
can do about getting him in the army.
Look at that, two
happy children at play.
Nice catch, brother John.
Thank you, brother Eddie.
I think the whole
thing is disgusting.
But having Uncle Herman
live here is a wonderful idea...
because we can try and help
restore his memory bit by bit...
with him living in his own
house, with his own family.
Brother Eddie, can I
try kicking one? Sure.
Thank you.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Mommy.
Is that my new kite?
Yes, I'm just keeping
that promise made by...
somebody else.
Oh, boy. Thanks, Mom.
Mommy...
didn't you bring a kite for me?
No, dear, but I'm sure
Eddie will let you fly his.
I don't want to. I just
want to fly my own kite.
Well, now, John...
And besides, I think
you're playing favorites...
just because Eddie is really
yours and I'm just adopted.
John, that's not true.
You have to learn to share.
That's right, John, you see,
you're not a baby anymore...
you're 150 years old.
Mom, will you get this
old geezer off my back?
That is enough, John.
Now, run and play with Eddie.
Eddie, brother Eddie, Mommy
says I can play with the kite, too.
♪♪
Did you think he'd remember
he promised Eddie the kite?
I had hoped so, yes.
I wonder if that
bum could be faking?
Mom, may John and I be
excused to go to the dungeon?
What for?
Well, the kite doesn't fly high enough,
so we thought we'd put a longer tail on it.
I thought of it.
Congratulations.
Well, very well, you're excused.
Finish your milk first.
Last one done is a rotten egg.
Who won, Mommy? It was a tie.
Darn! You're always
taking his side.
Come on.
Your elder son is
somewhat heavy on his feet.
We adopted him 10 days ago...
and his memory hasn't
showed one sign of returning.
Not only is it not returning...
it's going in the opposite
direction, into second childhood.
Maybe he could get another hit on the
head. That cures amnesia in the movies.
Say, that's a good idea, I'll go
down and get a sledgehammer.
No!
Why not? It's too dangerous.
You don't fool around
with a head like Herman's.
I disagree.
You give it a few good
shots with a sledgehammer...
and whatever happens is
bound to be an improvement.
Grandpa, the answer is no.
It is not.
It is, too.
It is not. It is, too.
It is not, not, not.
They're fighting.
Marilyn, would you please clear
the table, I'll go down and stop them.
I'll go with you.
Now I say that's perfect.
Well, I say it's still too short.
It is not. It is, too.
It is not. It is, too.
Is not. Is, too.
Not. Is, too.
It is not. It is, too.
Boys! Now, boys.
What is going on here?
I have the kite, we're trying to
put... I want to make the kite...
We undid the kite and
we... See this side...
Go ahead, you tell her.
Well, you see, I wanna make the
kite tail longer, but John won't let me.
He keeps pushing me away.
You should be ashamed of yourself. A big
boy like you pushing his little brother.
He pushed me first.
I did not. I did not.
Did, too. Did, too.
Be quiet.
That is enough!
Now, if you can't play nicely...
you both just march straight
upstairs and take your naps.
You heard your mother, march.
Can we put on our jammies
and watch television?
Well, yes.
Oh, boy, peachy neato boss.
Mommy? Yes?
I just remembered
something. You did?
I remembered I keep forgetting to ask
you whatever happened to your husband?
Well, he...
He...
Well, he's no longer
with us. That's too bad.
I sure would like a papa.
Even Captain
Midnight has a papa.
We hope he may come back
someday. I certainly hope so.
But if he doesn't...
I'm sure a keen-looking chick like you
will have no trouble in finding a new one.
Bye, Mommy.
He has just given me the idea. I'll
be able to solve this whole problem.
Will it involve any personal
risk? Not to him, just to me.
You're going to give Uncle
Herman the shock treatment?
Yes, I'm going to receive a
handsome gentleman caller...
and I'm going to let him be
very, very attentive to me...
in front of John,
I mean Herman...
in the hope that he'll be so jealous
that something inside him will snap...
and he'll remember
that he's my husband.
I see. Who is this
handsome gentleman caller?
Grandpa. Grandpa?
Yes, you see, he's whipping
up a pill that'll turn him into...
the spitting image
of Rock Hudson.
Eddie, naptime.
Cousin Marilyn will tuck you in.
See you later, Mom.
Have a nice nap.
See you, brother John.
See you, brother Eddie.
I don't have to take a nap...
on account of he's only
10 and I'm 150 years old.
And because there's somebody
coming here that I want you to meet.
Goody.
If I keep my little mouth
shut, do I get a cookie?
Never mind that.
Now, you wait right
here. Yes, Mommy.
♪♪
I thought you were
coming as Rock Hudson.
You look like Rudolf Valentino.
I must have gotten
ahold of some old pills.
At least I'm still in
the 20th century.
Good afternoon, sonny.
Good afternoon, sir.
This is my son,
John. John, this is...
Rudolf Smith.
How do you do, Mr. Smith?
Mr. Smith and I are
very dear friends.
As a matter of fact, we're
madly in love with each other.
Do you want me to get
some cheese dip and pretzels?
No.
When Lily and I are
together, we don't think of food.
We think of moonlight
and desert breezes...
and soft, soft violins.
Right? Right.
If you don't want some
cheese dip and pretzels...
how about some pink lemonade?
Hey, kid, would you hold
this for me for a while?
Lily, my Lily...
my fragrant flower
of the Sahara.
Those limpid eyes...
those ruby lips
pleading to be...
Will you knock
it off? I'm sorry.
Well, you should be. Can't you
see that I'm about to propose?
Honest Injun?
Mr. Smith wants to
be my new husband.
You see...
he wants me to stop carrying
the torch for my old husband...
Herman Munster.
Who? Herman Munster.
She said, "Herman Munster."
Say, listen, can I play
with this up in my room?
Rudolph, may as well
forget it. It's no use.
Aunt Lily! What's
the matter, Marilyn?
It's Eddie. I just went up in the room
to tuck him in, and he wasn't there.
He'd opened the window, climbed
out on the roof to fly his new kite.
Darn Eddie. Why don't I
get to do neat stuff like that?
My baby!
My baby.
Eddie, go inside! Go inside!
He's going to fall!
Will you... Be careful, Eddie!
Stand back, just move back, Eddie!
Eddie, move back!
No!
Eddie, stand back! Your
father orders you to stand back!
Now, Eddie, that was a
very stupid thing to do.
Now, you go straight to bed and we'll
discuss your punishment tomorrow.
Yes, sir.
Eddie.
Now, you run along.
Marilyn, you should not be outside,
dear, without your sweater on.
You'll catch cold.
Yes, Uncle Herman.
Grandpa...
I wish you'd get out of that
cockamamie costume and that makeup...
before you embarrass us
in front of all our neighbors.
He's back.
Lily. Yes, Herman.
Might I say, dear, that
you look especially lovely?
Thank you, my darling husband.
What's this whip doing here? Has
Eddie been playing with some big boy?
Yes, Herman, one of
the nicest boys I know.
No television for a
week? That is correct.
Oh, Pop. Now,
Eddie, don't complain.
It's a small price to pay
for regaining your father.
Yeah, but I was having
fun with him as my brother.
Uncle Herman? Yes, dear.
How would you describe the
way you got your memory back?
I'd say...
I'd say that family, love, and
devotion are thicker than amnesia.
Herman, you phrased
that beautifully. Thank you.
I did, didn't I?
Where's Grandpa? He's
down in the dungeon.
He's been up all night
trying to invent another pill...
that will bring him
back to normal.
But he's still having trouble.
Good morning.
Well, all right, I'll just
have a little breakfast now...
and then I'll go down
to the lab and try again.
That might be a very good idea.
Say, Grandpa. Yes?
What's new with
Marie Antoinette?
That's very funny.
Very funny.
International Pine Box
closed at a new low.
American Tombstone
toppled from its high point...
and now the government is threatening
to slap a lid on International Casket.
Well, never mind, Grandpa, remember,
everything that's down has to go up.
And by the same token,
everything that's up has to go down...
which is what keeps
Herman in business.
Is Pop home yet? Not
yet, dear. But be patient.
He'll be home in two
shakes of a werewolf's tail.
And when he does come
home, we'll let you know.
Why is Eddie so anxious for
Uncle Herman to come home?
Well, because
Herman's his father...
and he loves him, respects him, and
looks up to him with great admiration.
Yeah, and on top of that...
he promised to stop off
downtown and buy me a new kite.
Okay, come on up.
Up, up, up.
That's it, higher.
Okay.
Hank, watch out! The
rope's gonna break!
Don't move, we'll call an
ambulance. Ambulance?
Thank you, you're very
kind, sir, but I feel fine.
Impossible, it flattened
your head like a pancake.
I don't know what you're
talking about. I never felt better.
Mister, don't be so confident.
Wait till you look in a mirror.
Just look at him.
We'd better get his name
before he kicks the bucket.
I don't know what's
keeping him up.
What's your name,
mister? My name?
My name is...
My name?
That's funny, I haven't
got the vaguest idea.
My name is...
Herman is three hours late.
What could have happened to him?
Maybe the store
was all out of kites...
and he's too ashamed to face me.
No, he's had an accident.
There's no other explanation.
My Hermie has had an accident.
Lily, don't be so pessimistic.
Well, all I know is I wish he'd hurry up
and get home to give me my new kite.
Eddie, I wish you'd stop
worrying about your stupid kite...
and start worrying
about your stupid father.
Eddie, your father
wouldn't let you down.
Even if he was lying dead someplace,
he'd be thoughtful enough to phone.
8:30 and where's Big Daddy?
8:30, it's time for my
favorite TV program.
It's all about that
crazy, mixed-up family...
that's always having those
weird, fantastic adventures.
We delay the start
of My Three Sons...
to bring you this
special bulletin.
Local police have taken an
amnesia victim into protective custody.
Here is a picture of
the amnesia victim.
Anyone who can
identify this man...
is urged to contact police
headquarters immediately.
Well, that's not
John Doe, that's Pop.
Uncle Herman has amnesia.
My poor, poor darling.
Lily, be calm. Herman is
safe and in good hands.
And you and I will go down to
claim him, right after My Three Sons.
No, we won't, we'll go
down and claim him now.
Grandpa, you go
and get your cloak.
Yes, Professor. Yes,
we'll check them both out.
Thank you for
being good citizens.
That, Officer Kugel,
was the university.
Two of their scientists saw a
picture of John Doe on television...
and each got a theory.
One figures he's a
creature from outer space.
And the other?
The other figures
he's a missing link...
but he can't figure
what he's a link to.
Sarge, do you see what I see?
Look at their complexions,
they're green. What are they?
I don't know...
but if they were fish, the Board of
Health wouldn't let you sell them.
Good evening, what
can I do for you?
Well, you can direct us to the
Lost and Found Department.
What did you lose,
Pops, your marbles? No.
We lost my husband and his
son-in-law, Herman Munster.
Alias John Doe.
A John Doe?
He's ours, and we
want him back. Why?
Officer Kugel, shut up
and bring in John Doe.
Now, you must remember
that amnesia is very delicate.
If you just tell the victim who
he is, like a bolt out of the blue...
you're liable to shock him
into a psychological trance.
So just wait for him
to recognize you.
Okay? Okay.
Sergeant, do you know
how he got amnesia?
He got hit on the head
with a 300-pound safe.
I see.
Oh, hi.
John, this is Mrs.
Munster, and her father.
How do you do? How do you do?
Hi, there. Hi.
Do they look familiar?
I've never seen these
people before in my life.
Steady, Lily, be brave.
Are you sure? I'm positive.
I'd remember a cute little
cookie like Mrs. Munster.
Okay, Kugel, take him back.
Shall we go? Sure. Come on.
It's been very nice meeting you.
Bye.
Did you ever hear the one about
the elephant and the peanut?
I'm sorry, folks. I know you'd
like to take him home with you...
but until he knows himself who he is, I
can't release him without a court order.
But he's my husband
and the father of our child.
We want him home
where he belongs.
Well, in view of
his condition...
you might try to petition the
court for legal custody of the victim.
Adoption approved.
Amy, you're a very lucky child to be
adopted by such wonderful parents.
I'm sure you'll be
a very happy family.
All right, bailiff,
next case, please.
Mrs. Lily Munster...
and John Doe.
Say, excuse me, I'm on.
Give him back his comic books.
That's all right, you can keep them.
What a nice kid.
Hello, there.
Good morning, Your Honor.
Good morn...
Good morning.
This is the child?
Well, yes and no.
He's recovering
from an accident.
Oh.
Must have been a beauty.
Well, I've had people
adopt adults before...
but are you sure you
want to adopt him?
Yes, Your Honor, I am.
Yes, you see, Your Honor,
she believes that older children...
need love and guidance just
as much as younger ones do.
Just a minute, who are you? I'm
Mrs. Munster's trustworthy father.
Wait a minute.
This isn't one of those
Candid Camera stunts, is it?
No, sir...
I don't think so.
Well, now, Mrs.
Munster, tell me...
have you given this
careful consideration?
Yes, Your Honor, I have.
And before you made
your final decision...
did you go to the orphanage and
see what... who else was available?
No.
No, I took one look at John...
and I knew I couldn't
live without him.
Thanks, Mom.
John, tell me, have you
thought this thing out?
I mean, do you want to go
home with these people...
and become a
member of this family?
Can I have my own
television set? Of course, John.
You've got yourself a deal.
Well...
I see from your
financial statement...
that you're able to
take care of a ward.
The child is willing.
Okay, the adoption is granted,
on a temporary trial basis.
Bailiff, call the next case.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Your Honor, what exactly do you
mean by "temporary trial basis"?
Well, if you realize
you've made a mistake...
just call me, and I'll see what I
can do about getting him in the army.
Look at that, two
happy children at play.
Nice catch, brother John.
Thank you, brother Eddie.
I think the whole
thing is disgusting.
But having Uncle Herman
live here is a wonderful idea...
because we can try and help
restore his memory bit by bit...
with him living in his own
house, with his own family.
Brother Eddie, can I
try kicking one? Sure.
Thank you.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Mommy.
Is that my new kite?
Yes, I'm just keeping
that promise made by...
somebody else.
Oh, boy. Thanks, Mom.
Mommy...
didn't you bring a kite for me?
No, dear, but I'm sure
Eddie will let you fly his.
I don't want to. I just
want to fly my own kite.
Well, now, John...
And besides, I think
you're playing favorites...
just because Eddie is really
yours and I'm just adopted.
John, that's not true.
You have to learn to share.
That's right, John, you see,
you're not a baby anymore...
you're 150 years old.
Mom, will you get this
old geezer off my back?
That is enough, John.
Now, run and play with Eddie.
Eddie, brother Eddie, Mommy
says I can play with the kite, too.
♪♪
Did you think he'd remember
he promised Eddie the kite?
I had hoped so, yes.
I wonder if that
bum could be faking?
Mom, may John and I be
excused to go to the dungeon?
What for?
Well, the kite doesn't fly high enough,
so we thought we'd put a longer tail on it.
I thought of it.
Congratulations.
Well, very well, you're excused.
Finish your milk first.
Last one done is a rotten egg.
Who won, Mommy? It was a tie.
Darn! You're always
taking his side.
Come on.
Your elder son is
somewhat heavy on his feet.
We adopted him 10 days ago...
and his memory hasn't
showed one sign of returning.
Not only is it not returning...
it's going in the opposite
direction, into second childhood.
Maybe he could get another hit on the
head. That cures amnesia in the movies.
Say, that's a good idea, I'll go
down and get a sledgehammer.
No!
Why not? It's too dangerous.
You don't fool around
with a head like Herman's.
I disagree.
You give it a few good
shots with a sledgehammer...
and whatever happens is
bound to be an improvement.
Grandpa, the answer is no.
It is not.
It is, too.
It is not. It is, too.
It is not, not, not.
They're fighting.
Marilyn, would you please clear
the table, I'll go down and stop them.
I'll go with you.
Now I say that's perfect.
Well, I say it's still too short.
It is not. It is, too.
It is not. It is, too.
Is not. Is, too.
Not. Is, too.
It is not. It is, too.
Boys! Now, boys.
What is going on here?
I have the kite, we're trying to
put... I want to make the kite...
We undid the kite and
we... See this side...
Go ahead, you tell her.
Well, you see, I wanna make the
kite tail longer, but John won't let me.
He keeps pushing me away.
You should be ashamed of yourself. A big
boy like you pushing his little brother.
He pushed me first.
I did not. I did not.
Did, too. Did, too.
Be quiet.
That is enough!
Now, if you can't play nicely...
you both just march straight
upstairs and take your naps.
You heard your mother, march.
Can we put on our jammies
and watch television?
Well, yes.
Oh, boy, peachy neato boss.
Mommy? Yes?
I just remembered
something. You did?
I remembered I keep forgetting to ask
you whatever happened to your husband?
Well, he...
He...
Well, he's no longer
with us. That's too bad.
I sure would like a papa.
Even Captain
Midnight has a papa.
We hope he may come back
someday. I certainly hope so.
But if he doesn't...
I'm sure a keen-looking chick like you
will have no trouble in finding a new one.
Bye, Mommy.
He has just given me the idea. I'll
be able to solve this whole problem.
Will it involve any personal
risk? Not to him, just to me.
You're going to give Uncle
Herman the shock treatment?
Yes, I'm going to receive a
handsome gentleman caller...
and I'm going to let him be
very, very attentive to me...
in front of John,
I mean Herman...
in the hope that he'll be so jealous
that something inside him will snap...
and he'll remember
that he's my husband.
I see. Who is this
handsome gentleman caller?
Grandpa. Grandpa?
Yes, you see, he's whipping
up a pill that'll turn him into...
the spitting image
of Rock Hudson.
Eddie, naptime.
Cousin Marilyn will tuck you in.
See you later, Mom.
Have a nice nap.
See you, brother John.
See you, brother Eddie.
I don't have to take a nap...
on account of he's only
10 and I'm 150 years old.
And because there's somebody
coming here that I want you to meet.
Goody.
If I keep my little mouth
shut, do I get a cookie?
Never mind that.
Now, you wait right
here. Yes, Mommy.
♪♪
I thought you were
coming as Rock Hudson.
You look like Rudolf Valentino.
I must have gotten
ahold of some old pills.
At least I'm still in
the 20th century.
Good afternoon, sonny.
Good afternoon, sir.
This is my son,
John. John, this is...
Rudolf Smith.
How do you do, Mr. Smith?
Mr. Smith and I are
very dear friends.
As a matter of fact, we're
madly in love with each other.
Do you want me to get
some cheese dip and pretzels?
No.
When Lily and I are
together, we don't think of food.
We think of moonlight
and desert breezes...
and soft, soft violins.
Right? Right.
If you don't want some
cheese dip and pretzels...
how about some pink lemonade?
Hey, kid, would you hold
this for me for a while?
Lily, my Lily...
my fragrant flower
of the Sahara.
Those limpid eyes...
those ruby lips
pleading to be...
Will you knock
it off? I'm sorry.
Well, you should be. Can't you
see that I'm about to propose?
Honest Injun?
Mr. Smith wants to
be my new husband.
You see...
he wants me to stop carrying
the torch for my old husband...
Herman Munster.
Who? Herman Munster.
She said, "Herman Munster."
Say, listen, can I play
with this up in my room?
Rudolph, may as well
forget it. It's no use.
Aunt Lily! What's
the matter, Marilyn?
It's Eddie. I just went up in the room
to tuck him in, and he wasn't there.
He'd opened the window, climbed
out on the roof to fly his new kite.
Darn Eddie. Why don't I
get to do neat stuff like that?
My baby!
My baby.
Eddie, go inside! Go inside!
He's going to fall!
Will you... Be careful, Eddie!
Stand back, just move back, Eddie!
Eddie, move back!
No!
Eddie, stand back! Your
father orders you to stand back!
Now, Eddie, that was a
very stupid thing to do.
Now, you go straight to bed and we'll
discuss your punishment tomorrow.
Yes, sir.
Eddie.
Now, you run along.
Marilyn, you should not be outside,
dear, without your sweater on.
You'll catch cold.
Yes, Uncle Herman.
Grandpa...
I wish you'd get out of that
cockamamie costume and that makeup...
before you embarrass us
in front of all our neighbors.
He's back.
Lily. Yes, Herman.
Might I say, dear, that
you look especially lovely?
Thank you, my darling husband.
What's this whip doing here? Has
Eddie been playing with some big boy?
Yes, Herman, one of
the nicest boys I know.
No television for a
week? That is correct.
Oh, Pop. Now,
Eddie, don't complain.
It's a small price to pay
for regaining your father.
Yeah, but I was having
fun with him as my brother.
Uncle Herman? Yes, dear.
How would you describe the
way you got your memory back?
I'd say...
I'd say that family, love, and
devotion are thicker than amnesia.
Herman, you phrased
that beautifully. Thank you.
I did, didn't I?
Where's Grandpa? He's
down in the dungeon.
He's been up all night
trying to invent another pill...
that will bring him
back to normal.
But he's still having trouble.
Good morning.
Well, all right, I'll just
have a little breakfast now...
and then I'll go down
to the lab and try again.
That might be a very good idea.
Say, Grandpa. Yes?
What's new with
Marie Antoinette?
That's very funny.
Very funny.