The Most Dangerous Animal of All (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - My Identity - full transcript

(theme music plays)

♪ ♪

GARY STEWART:
I've had the fear
of abandonment

as far as I can remember.

There is a primal wound
that adoptees have.

If you weren't loved
enough to be kept,

how can you...

expect someone else to love you,

if you can't love yourself?

LEONA STEWART:
We told Gary he was
adopted early in life.

We had him since he was
three‐and‐a‐half months old,



so he was ours.

GARY:
My parents, my adopted family,

they were my
biggest supporters.

But feelings of insecurity

were there from as early
as I can remember.

CINDY STEWART:
When we were teenagers,

I noticed Gary really starting
to struggle with his identity.

Even though we've had
a fairy tale childhood,

there's still a wound that

I don't think heals until
you know where you came from.

♪ ♪

GARY:
Your self‐confidence
and self‐esteem

tells you that you weren't
loved enough to be kept.

And part of that is what's



driven me to be successful

at almost everything
I've done.

What contributed to
my business success

certainly didn't help me
with personal relationships.

I've been married five times.

I wasn't gonna let somebody
leave me again and hurt me.

I would always leave first.

I have had trust
issues all of my life,

and the only time that
I didn't feel that,

for the first time in my life,

was the day Zach was born.

Maybe he wouldn't
see the flaws,

and maybe he would love me...

just because I was Dad.

♪ ♪

Zach has a son now,
so I'm a grandfather.

What'd you do?

But, I still have
this continual need...

for that reassurance that
you really are loved.

So, thank God I have Kristy.

She is my rock.

She is my support

because as hard as I try,

that fear of abandonment
never goes away.

(indistinct chatter)

And then, you know,
I think about
my birth parents,

and who they might be today,

and what led them
to give me up.

Prior to the '70s,

all adoptions in the state of
Louisiana were closed adoptions.

So, I'd given up trying to
find my biological parents.

And then one day,
after 39 years,

it happened.

And I never
could've imagined

what I was about
to uncover.

(birds chirping)

GARY:
I'd remember Dad saying,

"a lady from San Francisco

"contacted your mother,

claiming to be
your real mother."

I'll never forget how

he said
"real mother."

It's like, wait,
I have a real mother,

‐and she's right here.
‐(laughs)

I was kinda scared to tell you,

and we knew that
you wanted to know.

And we never kept
secrets with y'all.

GARY:
When they told me, Mom...

put her arm around my waist,

and she squeezed me...

and said, "I will
always be your mom."

This was 2002, the eve
of Mother's Day.

And because it's Mother's Day,
I'm feeling guilty.

But, I knew I had
to speak to her.

(answering machine beep)

ANSWERING MACHINE:
This is Gary Stewart,

and I think you
may be my mother.

♪ ♪

And, if so,

I would like to wish you,

for the first time
in 39 years,

a Happy Mother's Day.

JUDE GILFORD:
It was like a thousand
prayers answered,

or maybe a million
prayers answered.

And I said to Gary
a number of times

in the initial
conversation about,

"I'm not try‐‐
I don't need anything.

"I don't want anything.

I really only wanted to
know that you were okay."

GARY:
And I got on a plane
and flew to San Francisco

to meet her for the first time.

Seeing him walking
towards me and...

It was a memory
I will never forget.

GARY:
That first hug.
It just came so natural,

and we spent the entire
next week together.

It was almost time to go home,

and I just felt the time was
right to ask my mother...

who‐who was my father.

And she said, "Well, honey.

"It's been a long time,

"and I've spent my life

"trying to forget that time.

But, I think his name was Van."

♪ ♪

"I was young,

"underage,

and we were on the run."

Hearing this,
I couldn't imagine how

she couldn't remember
who my father's name was.

The desire to know who my
father was overcame me,

and that's when I decided
I had to find him.

I never could've predicted what
I would ultimately discover,

and over the next 12 years,

the desire to find my father
would totally consume me.

After I met my mother,

we talked quite often
over the next year.

But the more questions
I asked her about my father,

the more she said
she didn't remember.

I didn't wanna hear,
"I don't remember."

I had too many questions, and
there were not enough answers.

And he would ask me
the same question

over and over again,

and I really couldn't
convince him that

I wasn't able,
and maybe didn't even want,

to remember a lot of it.

LYN OVERTON:
I think that Judy

remembers everything.

She claims she
doesn't remember,

so that she doesn't have
to face what she did.

GARY:
And then I received
a letter that indicated

that Jude knew much more
than she had let on.

♪ ♪

She had contacted some
people in Louisiana

that were in
the business of helping

birth parents find
their children.

My mother had written a letter
and stated specifically,

"My husband's name

was Earl Van Best Jr."

But the most disturbing
thing was she said,

"Gary's story...

would be newsworthy."

That makes your heart stop.

What was newsworthy?

So, at that point,

it was very clear
to me that my mother

wasn't being completely
truthful with me.

JUDE:
He didn't believe that
I didn't remember,

but I definitely
wanted to help Gary.

And so, I called my friend,

Harold Butler in

the San Francisco
Police Department.

Harold Butler gave me
my father's name,

date of birth, place of birth,
social security number.

So, I took that information
to the social security office,

and they informed me
that no death benefits

had been paid on
behalf of my father.

So, that gave me hope

that my father was still alive.

Harold Butler also
gave me what he said

was an old DMV photo
of my father.

♪ ♪

When I first saw
the photo of my father,

I was shocked.

My father was
still and lifeless.

I felt the most...

indescribable sense of

fear.

But, I just had
to find my father,

and nothing was gonna
stop me from finding him.

At my request,

my mother went back
to Harold Butler,

asking for more information.

Harold Butler told my mother,

"Just tell Gary to drop it.

"What Gary's father

"went on to do later in life

"would make what his father
did to you and Gary

seem inconsequential."

♪ ♪

JUDE:
Gary is not getting
the answers

that he wanted
from the police.

So, I suggested that we go

to the San Francisco Library

and look for
newspaper articles.

There must be something.

GARY:
I began searching the contents
of every newspaper

from 1961 to 1963.

The articles detailing Van
and Judy's illicit romance

and life on the run appeared
one after the other.

EARL VAN BEST:

(click)

(car idling)

♪ ♪

(air brake hiss)

GARY:
My father met my mother
for the first time

as she was getting
off of a school bus.

He was 27,
and she was just 14.

Some people have said that
my mother looked older.

She could've passed
for 19 or 20.

But she was getting
off of a school bus.

(rumbling)

JUDE:
I remember there was
a man standing there,

and he spoke to me,

and I spoke to him, I guess.

And then I was walking
away to go home,

and he was behind me.

And the next day,
he was there again.

I don't think I was
interested at the beginning,

but the guy just
kept showing up.

♪ ♪

GARY:
He invited her into
an ice cream shop,

and that's where
the romance began.

(inaudible)

JUDE:
He was intelligent,

well‐spoken.

I was impressed
with all he knew.

I remember going
to Grace Cathedral,

and he had a connection

to that beautiful place.

GARY:
She described him as
being cosmopolitan.

He was quite
an accomplished musician,

and had a love of
classical music.

(inaudible playing)

JUDE:
He talked about

the possibilities
for us.

Traveling, seeing things

that I had not seen before.

So, what he was offering
was attractive to me.

♪ ♪

My father had seen
so much of the world,

and she had only
seen San Francisco.

And she was probably
looking for an out

from her less‐than‐perfect
home life.

LYN:
Our father was very
quick‐tempered.

He'd beat us
with a leather belt.

Um, and as we got older,

that changed to the buckle
end of the leather belt.

And we wiped the blood
off of each other

in the bathroom, crying.

It was just a terrible
situation to live in.

‐(car starts)
‐And so, when this
guy showed up,

then I thought, you know,

what have I got to lose?

But, it was really jumping
out of the frying pan,

into the fire,
and I had no idea.

♪ ♪

We ran away together
in January of 1962.

GARY:
So, they run off to Reno,

and just three months
after they met,

they're married.

JUDE:
I thought at the time
that I loved him.

I didn't know
he was a con man.

LYN:
The only thing
we knew was that

she was gone, and we spent...

several days...

wondering where she was.

GARY:
So, after they're married,

they return to San Francisco.

And on Valentine's Day,

my grandmother actually had
their marriage annulled.

And just a week later,

she had my father arrested.

(flashing)

Soon after, he posted bail,

and my mother was
sent to juvenile hall.

♪ ♪

(phone ringing)

And because she was
on the second floor,

my father told my
mother to make a rope

out of her bed sheets,

and shimmy on down the wall.

And they took off.

(microfiche clicking)

VAN BEST:

(microfiche clicking)

(clicking)

(clicking, whirring)

It's not a romance.

It's portrayed
in the newspaper articles
as this romance,

when, in fact,
he was a pedophile,

and he was grooming her.

I was very hurt by

what was happening to Judy.

She started to change.

♪ ♪

GARY:
At this point, my mother
contracts hepatitis.

So, he takes her
to the hospital,

and she finds out
that she's pregnant.

I talked to my mother,

and she wanted me
to come for dinner,

and maybe come
and get my things.

I don't‐‐ I don't remember
what exactly,

and to bring Van.

And that's when
the police were waiting.

(distant siren)

GARY:
It's becoming
a repeatable story.

Judy's sent to juvie again,

and my father is arrested.

Later that night,

a young reporter
named Paul Avery

from the
San Francisco Chronicle
interviews my father.

And on August 1st,

the Ice Cream Romance
would make

its first appearance
on the front page

of the
San Francisco Chronicle.

It painted my father in
a very humiliating light.

VAN BEST:

GARY:
And soon, the story spread
to other newspapers as well.

LISA HOBBS BIRNIE:
This fellow called Van Best.

He seemed very studious,

and well‐spoken,

until he started
obsessing about Judy.

Bursting into
tears and sobbing

and becoming
almost incoherent

when he spoke about her,
how much he loved her.

I've interviewed
a lot of people,

even in San Quentin,

and you can
sometimes sense evil,

and he was so taken with Judy

that the warnings
from the police

didn't really touch him.

♪ ♪

GARY:
During my search,
I contacted

the San Francisco
City Archives,

and they provided
me with a video

of my father in court.

My father was charged
with conspiracy,

child‐stealing, and rape.

VAN BEST:

GARY:
He posted bail,
and he does it again.

I remember I was in...

the hospital,
in a quarantine unit.

(machines beeping)

I just have this image of Van

in the long white coat,
standing at the side of my bed,

and he had posed as a doctor,

and came and took me
out of the hospital.

♪ ♪

Later that night,

we were driving south
on highway 101,

and he fell asleep,

and I woke up as we went
careening off of the road.

(tires screech)

(crash)

(hissing)

GARY:
The next day,

the police found their
abandoned rental car

with blood stains in it.

My mother says, "We got
out of that wreckage,

"like nothing
had ever happened,

and started hitchhiking."

They were fugitives,

and, at this point,

it wasn't just
front page news

for the
San Francisco Chronicle.

Every newspaper was
carrying the story

of the Ice Cream Romance.

(raining)

JUDE:
We traveled across country.

One day, we'd be in a hotel,

and the next day, we'd be
at the Jesus Saves Mission.

During that time,
he was writing bad checks.

♪ ♪

He would tell me that

he loved me and cared for me,

but, at the same time,
he always held over my head

that I was a runaway,

and would be in big trouble
if he would turn me in.

(inaudible)

GARY:
At this point, Judy was
seven months pregnant.

They're out of money,

they're getting more
and more desperate,

and by the time they
got to New Orleans,

it was simply
a matter of survival.

In fact, my father
asked my mother

to go to this seedy hotel

‐and turn tricks for money.
‐(muffled yelling, chatter)

JUDE:
I was pregnant.

Not that I would...
consider being a prostitute,

but I was pregnant.

The love of his life, right?

He's asking the love
of his life to prostitute

because he's out of money.

♪ ♪

(inaudible)

JUDE:
I remember being
in the hospital.

(inaudible)

I remember having the baby.

(baby crying)

I don't think Van was there.

I was 15 when Gary was born.

He was named after his father,
so Earl Van Best.

(muffled crying)

I don't remember going home.

I have a vague recollection
of an apartment,

but mainly...

I just see an image
of Van sitting in a chair,

as if it was one time
when I came home,

and he was there.

I knew that Van was having
a hard time with the baby.

I'm assuming because it took
my attention away from him.

♪ ♪

GARY:
My mother told me
her version of the story,

but it wasn't until I started
doing my own research

that I actually
found out the whole truth.

(typing)

The police reports stated

that my father
was cruel to me

and that he would close me
up in a footlocker.

I don't know where
the locker idea came from.

Statement of Judith
Ellen Chandler, age 15.

"There was no food in the house,
and the baby needed formula,

"so I went to work as a barmaid.

"When I came home from work,

"the baby would usually
be in the footlocker

"with the top closed.

"I asked Earl why he
closed the locker,

and he said he was tired
of hearing the baby cry."

JUDE:
I remember when

Van proposed
to take the baby,

but I fought him
the whole way.

I told him that
we had to find a way

to make it work
for all of us.

♪ ♪

But one day, I came home,

and the baby was gone.

♪ ♪

GARY:
Statement of Judith
Ellen Chandler, age 15.

"He told me that he was going

"to take the baby
to Baton Rouge.

He told me that the baby
would be given a good home."

(rattling)

Gary:
When I found out how
I arrived to Baton Rouge,

I went to the Baton Rouge
Public Library.

I was born February 12,

and I started
at my birth date,

looking through
the two editions

of the Baton Rouge newspaper.

(clicking)

And I made it all the way
until March 16th.

(click)

And there I was.

♪ ♪

I just assumed that
I was legally...

made available for adoption.

(sniffle)

How could any
human being with a heart

take their blood,

and lay it down and walk
away and never look back?

So, you see, that's
the most difficult thing
for me to talk about.

After my father abandoned
me in the stairwell

of that apartment
building in Baton Rouge,

he took the train
back to New Orleans,

and my mother tells me,

"The minute he walked
in the door without you,

"I left him.

I left him immediately."

But as it turns out,

that was March 15th,

and according to
the police reports

and newspaper articles,

she actually stayed with him

all the way up
until April 18th.

♪ ♪

JUDE:
I honestly believed that
I left that same day

that he came back
without the baby.

But it turned out
that I did not,

but I didn't know that
until Gary did his...

uh, investigation.

GARY:
By this point,

my mother had had enough
of Earl Van Best Jr.

And when my father found out
that she had flown the coop,

he called the authorities
and turned her in.

JUDE:
When the authorities
contacted my mother,

she said,
"She can come home,

but the baby can't."

♪ ♪

JUDE:
I was taken to Baton Rouge
to sign the papers.

I just remember
sitting in this...

basalt block gray room,

in a little...

piece of sun.

I moved my chair over there,

and I remember holding him

and just crying.

I was just completely
heartbroken.

I was sure I would
never see him again

because they told me I was
never going to see him again.

(inaudible)

(gate rattling)

GARY:
So they were both
extradited back

to San Francisco,

and my father was once again

placed in county jail.

And my mother was sent to

a correctional home
for wayward girls.

♪ ♪

By the time
the Ice Cream Romance

had reached its bitter end,

they had been on
the run for 15 months.

LYN:
I asked her one night
what happened to the baby,

and she told me that
Van had taken the baby

and left it in a church.

And that was the end
of the story.

We never talked about it again.

All you hear
from those official people

is to forget what's happened

and go on with your life.

The baby was never spoken of.

Nothing about my running away

was ever spoken of
in my family.

♪ ♪

GARY:
My father was
sentenced to 90 days

in Atascadero State
Mental Hospital.

Atascadero is a maximum
security facility

for sexually deviant,
criminally insane males.

(restraints clicking)

While in Atascadero,

my father was subject to...

medical, chemical
treatment for his disorder,

as well as
electroconvulsive therapy,

which, back in the early '60s,

was still considered
a very effective way

to shock the evil
right out of someone.

After my father
spent his time
in Atascadero,

he was transferred
directly to San Quentin

to serve a four‐year sentence.

And people who knew
my father after prison

said that his eyes
looked completely empty.

♪ ♪

(engine revving)

When my father was released,

he was probably still
whole‐heartedly obsessed

with my mother.

(inaudible)

(raining)

JUDE:
One day, I was at
my mother's house

and the phone rang,
and it was Van.

He was less than a block away,

and he asked me
to come see him.

I was fearful,

‐(thunder)
‐but I said

I would not see him.

As a matter of fact, I never
wanted to see him again.

I hung up the phone,

and that was
the last time I ever
talked to him.

(hangs up)

GARY:
And I think at this point,

my father was devastated
with the fact

that he had lost her.

My father lost his soul
in this whole thing.

♪ ♪

GARY:
I had no idea

what I would find
when I went searching
for my father.

Most of my desire
to find him

had to do with me constructing

what was the other
half of my DNA.

Knowing that some
of my behaviors
can't be explained

by being raised
in the Stewart household,

my biggest fear
was what that meant
for my legacy,

and my kid's future,

and‐‐ and how that
would propagate

throughout the Stewart lineage.

I needed to see and know...

who he was.

I was going to find him,
no matter what.

(typing)

My father's family was
from South Carolina,

so I began searching
for anyone named
"Best" in South Carolina.

And I called up
this one number,

and with that,
I hit a gold mine.

♪ ♪

HATTIE BEST POLK:
Earl Van Best Jr.

This is Gary's father.

GARY:
Hattie is the best family
historian and genealogist.

HATTIE:
This is Gary's grandfather,

um, when he was
much younger.

This is a picture of him
when he was in the navy.

Earl Van Dorn Best

enlisted in
the Second World War

as a missionary to Japan.

While he was away
in the service,

he had the problem
with his marriage.

Gertrude was unfaithful.

She had many boyfriends.

GARY:
Hattie tells me

when my grandfather
returned from the war,

they divorced,
and he moved to Chicago.

So, my father was basically
abandoned by his father

and was raised by
his promiscuous mother
in San Francisco.

HATTIE:
It was not a very
good atmosphere

for a young child
to grow up in,

and I think that it had
a profound effect on Van.

It affected his
whole personality.

♪ ♪

GARY:
During my search,

I would also find
my father's best friend,

and, as he tells it,

likely his only friend.

William Lohmus was

the single most valuable
source of information

in learning things
about my father

that I otherwise
would've never known.

William Lohmus
and my father attended
Lowell High School together,

and they were in
the ROTC together,

and they walked to
a different beat.

They loved Bach
and Mozart and Puccini.

And William recalls

a very uncomfortable
home life for Van.

He shared firsthand

of hearing
the headboard banging
against the wall upstairs

while my grandmother was
entertaining her male suitors.

♪ ♪

After high school,

my father enrolled
in San Francisco
City College,

and studied forensics.

It was at City College where
my father met his first wife.

In 1957,

my father married
Mary Annette Player.

That marriage lasted a year.

She was granted
a divorce from my father

on the grounds of
extreme cruelty

and inhuman treatment.

HATTIE:
This is the only
picture that I have

of Gary's father,

and it's his mugshot.

And you can tell

that it's a different
kind of personality.

Something's not
right with this guy.

♪ ♪

GARY:
When Harold Butler gave me
this photo of my father,

the first thing out of
Zach's mouth was, like,

"He looks like
a serial killer, Dad."
‐(Leona laughs)

You know, Zach's 10 years old,
and you're thinking,

"What does he know
about a serial killer?"

I mean...

that's scary.

LEONA:
See... Do you see
the resemblance?

("Cold Case Files" music)

GARY:
Shortly after receiving
the photo of my father

from Butler in 2003,

I was home watching TV,

when an old Cold Case Files
show came on.

♪ ♪

They flashed a wanted sketch
of the Zodiac Killer,

and my heart stopped.

It's like if someone

had taken a snapshot
of my father

and put it on that
wanted poster.

I let out some sort of

extraterrestrial
noise or something

that Zach heard
in the next room.

ZACH STEWART:
He was very, very emotional,

and it was a chaotic series

of moments after that where,

you know, my dad's
running back and forth,

between his office
and the living room,

trying to find just
the right picture to compare.

♪ ♪

GARY:
That was the epiphany for me.

That my father may have
been the Zodiac Killer,

and this was the secret
Butler was keeping from me.

(TV chatter)

JUDE:
It was so preposterous
to me, and so I said,

"Let's call my friends
in the police department.

"Let's let them tell you that

this couldn't possibly be true."

GARY:
Harold Butler reassured
my mother that,

"Oh no, Judy.

"Tell Gary that we know who
the Zodiac Killer was.

"He's been dead for 10 years.

We know who he was because
of his DNA. We got his DNA."

But I had done my research,

and I knew that
the SFPD had never
solved the Zodiac case.

And that's when I learned

why Judy had friends
in the SFPD.

♪ ♪

I found out that my
mother's second husband

was Rotea Gilford,

a homicide inspector

with the San Francisco
Police Department.

Rotea was a hero in the SFPD.

He was also one
of the inspectors
on the Zodiac case.

That's when I begin
to wonder if the SFPD

might've been trying
to cover up for Rotea.

I don't believe Harold Butler

was doing anything
to try to protect me.

I believe he was trying
to protect Rotea's legacy

and the reputation
of the San Francisco
Police Department.

Of all people that my
mother could've married,

what is the likelihood

that one day,
my mother tells me,

"Honey, my second husband

was an inspector in
the Zodiac Killer case?"

♪ ♪