The Monkees (1966–1968): Season 2, Episode 22 - The Monkees in Paris - full transcript

Guys, listen, guys. "We know who you are,
so don't try to deny it.

We also know where you live, or else
how could we have sent this letter?

We're coming to get you, so don't leave.
This is a threatening letter and a warning.

Unless you return the microfilm and get
off the ranch, we'll kill you!"

Don't worry about it, Peter.
There's nothing in the world could go wrong-

Rah! Alright, give me
the microfilm.

- Wait, cut.
- Oh, man.

Guys, wait a minute. Wait,
guys, you have to do the scare.

- The old, the old Monkee scare.
- But it isn't funny anymore!

What do you mean,
Monkee scare, man, that-?

Come on, it's a groovy bit, man.



I don't, let's do the scare.
You know, you go, mm-ahh!

Ahh!

That bit, okay?
One more time.

Artie, close the door. Artie, close the
door and come through again. Action!

There's nothing wrong, Peter, just-

- Ah!
- Ahh.

Cut, cut.

Sixteen shows straight now. Man,
I mean, every time we start up a show,

you start on the monkey, and you pull back,
we're doing something at the table.

- And the scare happens. Tall guy and a sm-
- Out of a possible eleven shows!

There's always a tall heavy
and a small heavy, man.

Man, you're not being fair.

You see one Monkee episode,

- It isn't funny anymore!
- you seen all the Monkee episodes, man.



- It's all the same.
- The scare is very funny. Try the scare.

Oh, Jim, it's funny to you,
because you have-

I have to direct the
same show every-

Let's go, let's take, we're
gonna take a vacation-

- Yeah, right.
- and you work the show out-

-because we're not gonna
be here anymore.

- We'll see you later.
- Blblblbllll!

We'll go to, uh...

Uh...Paris. Paris!

- Oh!
- We're going to Paris! Paris!

Here we come, Paris!

Fellas. Ey, ey, come on, guys, what is this?
I mean, you got sixty guys on the set, Artie.

Boys! Uh, let's come in for a
close-up on the monkey, alright?

Flight forty-one, now arriving in Paris.

Here we come
Walkin' down the street

We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around

But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down

We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play

We're the young generation
And we've got something to say

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
You never know where we'll be found

So you better get ready,

We may be comin' to your town

It's the Monkees!

Ohh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

She looked at me

And the emptiness in her
eyes was cruel to see

Then she turned
away and said,

"Once I loved, but love is dead"

And I whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

She said, "I cannot cry

And I cannot give or feel or even try"

And her voice
was hard and cold

Then her sweet young face looked old

And I whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

Through the endless
days and nights

Could not help but wrap
herself in sorrow (sorrow)

Through the endless
days and nights

She waited for a
shiny new tomorrow

Love was sleeping, sleeping

She looked at me

And her smiling tears were
warm and sweet and free

And the moonlight
kissed her eyes

As it mingled with our sighs

And she whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

And she whispered,
"Sometimes love is only sleeping"

"Only sleeping"

I'm sorry. Eh, Bob? Man, they
just walked off the set.

I don't know where they went,

they said they were going to Paris.

Uh, that isn't my responsibility,
man, I'm not a babysitter,

you know what I mean? Look, how do
I know what to put on the air?

Put on a half hour of commercials,

like The Johnny Carson Show.

Or better yet, why don't you put on another
Monkees segment, I mean they're all the same.

[yells]

Look, I, I saved it for you though, babe.
I got a nice, tight close-up of the monkey.

[yells]

Ha ha ha, very funny.

Don't call on me

When you're feelin' footloose

And fancy free,

You've done that before,

And like a fool I

Came back for more

It's all over now

I've finally seen my way

I need you no more

Not now or any other day.

Hello!

Take a letter, keep on going

Where ever it is, she's goin', too.

Give her my autograph and tell her

It's been nice knowin' you.

She's a star collector
(collector of stars)

She only sims to please
young celebraties

She's a star collector
(collector of stars)

How can I love her,
when I just don't respect her?

When everthing is goin' my way,

She wants to be close at hand.

She moves to some
other doorway

When things don't go
the way she planned.

She's a star collector
(collector of stars)

She only sims to please
young celebraties

She's a star collector
(collector of stars)

It won't take much time
before I get her off my mind

She's a star collector
(collector of stars)

She only sims to please
young celebraties

She's a star collector
(collector of stars)

It won't take much time
before I get her off my mind

Sock it to me

Floatin' down the river
with a saturated liver

And I wish I could forgive her
But I do believe she meant it

When she told me to forget it
And I bet she will regret it

When they find me in the
morning wet and drowned

And the word gets 'round

Goin' down
Goin' down

Comin' up for air, it's pretty
stuffy under there there

I'd like to say I didn't care

But I forgot to leave a note
And it's so hard to stay afloat

I'm soakin' wet without a boat

And I knew I should
have taken off my shoes

It's front page news

Goin' down
Goin' down

Hey, hey
Hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

I wish I had another drink
It wouldn't be so hard to sink

I should have taken time to think
Besides I got the picture straight

She must have had another date
I didn't need this extra weight

I wish that I could
see the way to shore

I don't want no more

Goin' down, I'm goin' down

And now I see the life I led
I slept it all away in bed

I should have learned
how to swim instead

And now it's really got me stumped

I can't believe I really jumped
I'd like to get my tummy pumped

I can't believe they drink
this stuff in town

This dirty brown, goin' down

Goin' down
I'm goin' down

Goin' down, hey, hey
I'm down

Goin' down
Goin' down

Goin' down
Goin' down

Goin' down

I wished I'd looked
before I leaped

I didn't know it was so deep

Been down so far I don't get wet

I haven't touched the bottom yet

This river scene is gettin' old

I'm hungry, sleepy, wet and cold

She told me to forget it...

I'm goin' down just one more time

Goin' down
Goin' down

Goin' down
Goin' down

I'm goin' down
Goin' down

back, back, back, home

I'm goin' down

I'm goin' back home
Back home to my friends

Back under the warm
And I can do with it, too

I'm goin' home

Now the sky is gettin' light

An everythng will be all right

Think I finally got the knack

Just floatin' here lazy on my back

I never really liked that town

I think I'll ride the river down

Just movin' slow and floatin' free

There's a river
swinging under me

Waving back to the
folks on shore

I should have thought
of this before

I'm floatin' on down
to New Orleans

And pick up on some
swingin' scenes

I'm gonna know a better day

I'm goin' down groovin'
all the way

Goin' down
Go-go-go-in' down

I'm goin' down, back, back, back
I'm goin' back, back, back home

I'm go-goin' home,
hey, hey, hey, hey

Goin' on down, hey,
hey, hey, hey

Let's go
Let's going down

Okay little girl,

Live for yourself in
your own little world.

I know that you'll find

Someone who'll play at love

Be just your kind
Be just your kind

Be just your kind
Be just your kind

Now Artie, I've changed
the concept completely.

No mustache, no foreign accent,
and this time,

instead of coming in and asking for the
microfilm, you ask for the secret apple!

Huh, so what's the
difference in the script?

Don't get smart.

- Listen!
- Ahh!

Guys, guys, listen! "We know who you are,
so don't try to deny it.

We also know where you live, or else
how could we have sent this letter?"

"We're coming to get you,
so don't leave."

"This is a threatening
letter and a warning."

"Unless you return the secret apple
and get off the base, we'll kill you!"

Go on, Peter, there's nothing wrong.

Ah!

But this is the same thing that-

Alright, you guys,
give me the secret apple.

Jim?

Hey, wait a minute, man.
Cut, just a second. Guys!

Jim, what kind of story is this?
A secret apple?

It's the same thing!

We just got back, we went on a vacation,
we wanted to get away from this stuff,

and we come back, and you give
us exactly the same thing-

And what's this? What's with this?
What's with this?

It is not exactly the same thing.

Lookit, with a gun, lookit, lookit.

- It is not-
- Violence on the show?

Guys, it isn't the same thing, he-

Every time we turn around,
somebody's got a gun.

Please, would you listen? He does,
he doesn't have a mustache,

he's not using an accent, and it's not
the microfilm, it's the secret apple.

Yeah, when's the little short
guy gonna come in, right?

When's the tough little... the story, Jim,
it's the same on every show we do, man.

- It's the same show!
- And it's terrible...

It's the same story and
they change it around.

We'll see you next week, kids.

Yeah, we'll think of
something by then.

- Yeah.
- It's... a drag.

Okay, let's come in for a nice,
tight close-up on the monkey.

In this generation
In this lovin' time

In this generation
We will make the world shine

We were born to love one another
This is somethin', we all need

We were born to love one another
We must be what we're goin' to be

And what we have to be, is free

Love is understandin'
We gotta be free

Love is understandin'
We gotta be free

We gotta be free

We gotta be free