The Middle (2009–2018): Season 7, Episode 19 - Crushed - full transcript

[Crow caws]

Frankie: In the history
of higher education,

no student has ever looked forward

to an 8:00 a.m. lecture...

unless they thought the
professor giving it was dreamy.

Now, of course, his goal was
to transform the Soviet Union

into an industrial superpower.

Okay, Stalin is best in small doses,

and some of you look like you
want to crawl back into bed.

So if there aren't any questions...

Sue?



Uh, do you think Stalin's
appointment as Secretary General

allowed him to handpick his
allies for government jobs?

And if so, was it instrumental

in him taking control
of the Communist party?

That is actually a great question.

- [All groaning]
- Um, he did, indeed, take full control

of the Communist party in
1924 after Lenin's death,

and one of the reason...

Hey, where you going?

To the bedroom to watch the game.

Why?

'Cause I thought you had
the big TV tonight.

Wait, is it my night for the big TV?

No, it's nobody's night for the big TV.



- So, the big TV's open?
- No.

I'm just saying I thought
maybe we could have dinner

around the table together

and, you know, listen
to music or something.

Look, Frankie, if you want
the big TV, just say it.

I don't want the big TV.

So, I...

No.

S... I had a real epiphany
tonight at the pizza place.

Oh, no.

Seriously.

There I was, picking up
our one-millionth pizza,

and I ran into this
whole group of families

from Brick's class...

the Murphys, the Gelfands, the Trouts.

And they were all playing pinball

and singing songs and
really having a good time.

I literally don't know who
any of those people are.

Exactly, and the worst part was

they didn't even feel awkward about it

'cause it didn't even occur
to them to invite us.

Yeah.

- We're not even on their radar.
- That's great!

We should be celebrating.

We're finally off the grid.

I don't want to be off the grid.

Do you remember when
Axl was in high school

and there was that whole group of people

we used to hang out with?

And we'd go to football
games and dinner.

We don't do any of that
stuff Brick's friends.

And now all those people
in his class are connected

and we're sitting here with
our sad slices of pizza,

arguing about who gets the big TV.

- [Groans]
- I should've picked up the pizza.

No, Mike. Listen.

If I make more of an effort

and reach out to some of these people,

will you at least come along?

Hmm...

Can I take my pizza and eat in
front of the big TV right now?

- Yes.
- Done.

Yeah!

Jeremy: [Through megaphone] This
tree has seen the Revolutionary War,

and now they want to tear it
down to put up a Java Jerry's!

College kids don't exactly line up

to attend their
professor's office hours,

but Sue wasn't taking any chances.

[Chuckles]

And that is why Stalin stayed put

and ordered a scorched earth policy.

[Knock on door]

I've got three minutes left,
so just hold your horses!

You were saying about scorched earth?

[Keys jingling]

Hey, Sue.

[Chatter]

So, listen.

I e-mailed some of the
parents in Brick's class...

[Groans]

And get this... they all
said they were busy.

Even Molly Murphy, and
we used to be close.

We made stone soup together when
Brick was in the first grade.

Well, she brought the potatoes
and the carrots and the bowls,

but I ladled.

Anyway, I guess they're all
in this big clique together,

and now we're on the outside looking in.

Well, you tried.

[Sighs]

[TV turns on]

[TV turns off]

What about Cindy's parents?

- Uh...
- Uh...

Why not? They're very nice people.

I went away with them
for that long weekend.

- What?
- You did?

I brought you back that mug.

"Chicago, my kind of town."

Cindy and I have been
dating for over a year now.

I would think you guys would
want to meet her parents.

- Well, Brick, the thing is...
- We don't want to meet them.

- Mike.
- What?

She's weird, and they
probably are, too.

Not necessarily.

I'm weird and you guys are normal.

- That is true.
- Come on.

You said you want to be more social,

and you said you want to go out
with someone from my class.

Well, Cindy's in my class,

and I think it'd be a really fun time.

And it'd make me happy.

[Both sigh]

Great!

I'll call Merv and LuEllen
and work out the deets.

How did we go from having
pizza in separate rooms

to dinner with Merv and LuEllen?

♪

You look nice. Where are you going?

Just class. Can you zip me up?

Hutch drove our apartment to
the engineering building,

so I'll be taking my
mid-morning nap here.

Inside voices please.

Just Axl!

[Groans]

Oh!

Hello. I don't believe we've met.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You are not going to date her.

Relax.

I'm not gonna date your roommate.

Of course, if I wanted to...
it'd be a different story.

Oh, really? Do I have a say in this?

Actually, you don't.

If I were to look at you,

you'd dive into my eyes
and we would be dating.

Oh, Axl. Get over yourself.

Just to be safe, don't look at him.

- [Laughs]
- What's with the fancy outfit?

You going to some sort of
Nerd Ball or something?

No, I'm just going to class.

Not everyone dresses scuzzy like you.

Besides, I'm not even that dressed up.

Can you hand me my clutch?

Yeah.

♪

You know what? You should
study in the library.

Come on. Let's go.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Come on.

You people make me sick.

Hey, Pink Coat!

You're a little late today.

Got to hop on that hamster wheel
with the rest of the sheep.

And I know that sheep don't
go on hamster wheels.

Hey, I got to yell at
2,000 people a day.

Not all of them are gonna be winners.

And that is what became
known as de-Stalinization.

Uh...

Sue?

It's just so I don't forget anything.

Okay.

So that pretty much wraps up our section

on Russia's role in World War II.

Now, for any of you that just
can't get enough Stalin,

you are invited to come over to
my apartment this Friday night,

hang out,

and we'll talk a little bit more
about this sweetheart of a guy.

Um, and starting things off around 7:00.

Oh, pbht! Want me to start a
sign-up sheet for who's coming?

Huh?

No. It's pretty casual.

Oh, what's the attire?

Pretty casual, yeah. It's
all very, very casual.

- [Gasps]
- Um, sorry.

You know what?

Never mind.

I'll just ask you during
office hours today.

- [Chuckles]
- Terrific.

So, this is great.

Boy, we've been trying to get
this thing together for ages.

♪

So, you a Pacers fan, Mike?

You bet. If they can keep Paul George

- Healthy.
- Healthy...

I'll be an even bigger fan.

Bigger fan.

So, LuEllen, could you
believe that construction

on the way over here?

I'm not sure what you're asking.

Oh, I-I just didn't know if you
guys took Route 4 to get here.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what you're getting at.

Boy, the food here is great.

H-Have you guys eaten here before?

I-It's been here since 1957.

Oh, so you have?

No.

Merv: Oh, this chicken
Parmesan looks great.

[Sighs]

What are you thinking about, Mike?

Oh, I'm more of a

- meatloaf guy myself.
- Meatloaf guy myself.

[Sighs]

- [Whispering]
- Oh, my God.

I feel like we've been
here for 1,000 years.

Try four minutes.

I think it's going really well so far.

What dinner are you watching?

We can't hear you.

Oh, we weren't talking about you.

[Chuckles]

We were talking about soup of
the day, which is white bean.

I'm not usually a fan of beans
outside of a dip format,

but I might try this.

So you're all caught up.

♪

Waitress: Can I get you folks
started with some drinks,

or are you ready to order?

Give me two seconds.

We need to borrow $700.

$700?

It was $700, right, honey?

Yes.

It's the rent on our house.

We owe the landlord $700,

and if we don't pay him
by the end of the week,

we're gonna have to move away
and live with my mother.

What?!

I told you I don't want
to live with Grandma!

It's not up to us, Cindy.

It's up to Brick's parents.

♪

[Doorbell rings]

- Sue.
- I might be a little early.

Ooh.

So, this is your apartment?

You know, you don't really
imagine your professors

living places.

You just kind of think
they show up to class.

But, obviously, they do,

and here it is.

Oh, I love that tribal mask.

Oh, thanks.

Is it from Pottery Barn?

[Chuckles]

Actually, I got it
when I was a T.A. in Sudan

studying the civil war.

Oh, they have a Pottery Barn there?

[Doorbell rings]

Hey.

- Oh, hi.
- [Chuckles]

Yeah, come on in and make
yourself comfortable.

- Man: Hey, how's it going?
- Hey.

- Oh. Oh.
- Nice to see you.

Cool place, Professor.

Oh, no. Oh. No, no, no, no, no.

Nice plan, man.

- Hi.
- Woman: Hey, guys, how are you?

[Gags]

[Hacking]

- Sue, are you okay?
- Yep.

Just got some [coughs]
thread from my wrap

in the back of my throat, but...

[Hacking]

It's all good.

Well, good.

Looks like everybody's here
and, uh, Sue's still breathing,

so grab any seat you want and
let's get our Stalin on.

[Chatter]

♪

Sue: Uh-oh.

Whoops. Sorry.

That's my chair.

[Chatter continues]

♪

I've said it before...

nothing good ever happens
when you leave the house.

I can't believe they were
talking about moving.

Frankie: Oh, Brick, I know it's sad.

Well, it would have been sad.

What do you mean?

They're not moving anymore 'cause
you're giving them the money.

No, we are not.

What?!

Brick, I know it's hard, but
it's just not possible.

Why not?

- 'Cause we don't have any money.
- [Sighs]

But you told Cindy's parents
you were gonna think about it.

Oh, that's just a thing people say.

So you're not gonna think about it?

Not even a little.

Brick, everyone knows when people say,

"I'll think about it," they're
not gonna think about it.

"I'll think about it," always means no.

I can't believe you guys are doing this.

Cindy's the love of my life.

I may never see here again,
and you don't even care.

We do care, but what
they did is not normal.

You don't ask people
you just met for $700.

Fine, maybe it is weird,
but do it for me.

I never ask you guys for anything.

You paid for all of
Axl's football expenses

in high school.

You paid for Sue's braces

and the thousands of things
she's tried out for.

I never go anywhere.

I wear clothes from the cousin box.

You're literally making money off of me.

Brick, I understand that you're upset,

and I know that this is
just a huge deal for you.

So you'll loan them the money?

We'll think about it.

♪

We may have just had
the night from hell,

but Sue was in heaven.

That's interesting.

Professor Grant, can I say something?

Yeah, absolutely.

And, guys, please, we're
just hanging out here.

So, please, call me Nick.

And she did...

I never thought of it that way, Nick.

That is a really good point, Nick.

I think that was the point
that Nick was trying to make,

in a way that really on Nick could.

But don't take my word for it.

Nick?

After all, Nick, I may
be alone here, but...

Sue, you are alone here.

Oh, my gosh.

When did everybody leave?

Some at 10:00, some at 11:00.

I didn't even notice.

Yeah, you were kind
of in the zone there.

Oh, well, here. Let me at
least help you with dishes.

Oh, no, no, no. You know, it's okay.

I'm just gonna throw them
in the recycling anyway.

Really?

In my house, we wash
those and reuse them.

Well, you know, just the fancy stuff.

Everything else we throw out.

Except if it's, like,

really nice, like a
Cool Whip container or something.

[Groans]

You know, Sue, I really
appreciate the offer,

but, uh, it's getting
late, and I just...

I got a big day tomorrow,
so I'm just gonna...

Oh, totally. No problem.

Tonight was awesome.

Hey, you know, maybe before I go

you could just recap some of
the major discussion points

so I make sure I got everything.

H-Here's the thing, Sue.

As a professor, uh, sometimes we find

that o-our students look up to us.

Oh, I so do, Nick.

Right, a-and sometimes,
it's hard for a student

to separate the material

from the person teaching the material.

- [Scoffs]
- Not this gal.

I love it all.

W-What I'm saying here is...
is that I think

that your enthusiasm for my class

might be for more than
just the material.

I think what's going on here is
that you might have just a...

just a little crush on me,

and that's nothing
to be embarrassed about.

I got to go!

Oh! Sorry!

Oh!

- Bad table. Sorry!
- Sue, no.

Sue?

[Chuckles]

I'm humiliated! I'm mortified!

What happened?

[Groans]

My professor thinks I
have a crush on him.

Why would he think that?

Because I do!

I thought I was being so cool,

but obviously, I was being so obvious.

He had the whole class over
at his apartment tonight,

and I was the last one to leave.

So you hung around a cute
professor's apartment

a little too long.

It's not like you're stalking him.

When I was in his bathroom,

I put some of his
aftershave on a cotton ball

and I put it in my pocket.

- [Sniffs]
- Sue!

Oh, the whole night was a disaster!

I am never going to his class again.

I am dropping it tomorrow!

There's like a month
left in the semester.

You can't drop it.

I have no choice!

There's nothing more
embarrassing in the world

than this.

- [Muffled]
- Oh, my God!

- [Laughs]
- Oh!

- Found it.
- Okay.

There you go.

[Whistling]

What's with the hat?

Hmm?

Oh, uh, I've been thinking,
and I do want to do sports.

I figured if I get started now,

someday I could be a
professional baseball man.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I'm passionate about it.

I'm just gonna need some equipment...

a glove, a bat,

a Lenny Dykstra Wheeler Dealer
automatic pitching machine

with nine-hour battery.

It's only $699.99.

Brick, every time we make toast,

we take our lives in our hands.

We're not giving $700
to a total stranger.

But that's what you're supposed to do.

That's what Reverend
Hayver says in church.

You're supposed to give to the people

that are less fortunate than you.

In our defense, they're hard to find.

- [Sighs]
- Listen, Brick, we do give to charity.

Every time I buy Oprah's
"Favorite Things" bath salts,

10% of my purchase goes
to clean water, orphans,

polar bears, something.

So that's just the way it is?

You guys get to decide everything

and I don't even get a say?

Cindy has to move because
her parents are moving.

I can't help her because you
guys won't give me the money.

Adults have all the power,

and we're just pulled
along for the ride.

Maybe if I was dating
an orphaned polar bear,

I'd have better luck.

♪

Because that is not a democracy.

That is an oligarchy!

Oh, where's your pink coat, Pink Coat?

You can't hide from me,

just like you can't hide
from your hypocrisy!

- [Groans]
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Okay, I know you want
to save the earth,

but you don't have to harass
every person who walks by!

Everyone is chained to
something in this world.

Yours just happens to be a tree!

And by the way, I happen to be
a very tree-friendly person.

And you might know that
if you just talked to me

instead of screaming at me
through your stupid megaphone!

I'm sorry, I'm just really bored.

Yeah?

Well, you should have thought of that

before you chained yourself to a tree.

- Hey, there.
- Oh, hi.

Hi, Professor Grant.

Um, sorry I haven't been
to class in a couple days.

Uh, I have this pottery class.

It's really super demanding.

I have an ashtray due Friday

that I haven't even started glazing yet.

Well, actually, I came
to see Jeremy here.

But if you could hang on one sec.

One sec. Hey.

So, I brought you your
quiz from last week.

You did well.

You got a 95%.

Oh, I can't believe I missed number two.

So, look, Jeremy.

I... I really appreciate what
you're trying to do here.

It is, uh, easy to see and
smell how passionate you are.

Um, but I think it's time
that you came back to class.

I can't keep bringing you your
tests and assignments every day,

and I'm afraid that
you're gonna fall behind.

But... and here's an idea...

um, if you felt like you were
ready to come back to class,

then maybe Sue could
catch you up to speed.

O-Of course, Sue,

that would mean you'd have
to come back to class.

Yeah, I don't know.

And, gosh, I can't even remember

why you stopped coming to
class in the first place.

Because I wandered into your closet

and imagined where my stuff would go.

I'm trying something here, Sue.

Work with me a little bit?

Ohh.

Ohh!

Jeremy: This is a really nice moment.

♪

[Keyboard clacking]

[Sighs]

Hey, Axl, can I ask you for some advice?

Just clear your history.

No, Axl, I'm serious.

I'm your brother, Brick.

I'm happy to drop some knowledge on you

as long as you ball socks while I do it.

How did you always get Mom and
Dad to do what you wanted?

Well, it depends what
we're talking about.

If it was a curfew thing,
usually butter them up,

let Mom hug me and stuff.

No...

I need Mom and Dad to
lend Cindy's family $700

or they're gonna move away.

What would you say to that?

I'd say, "Bye, Cindy."

[Sniffles]

Look, I know it sucks losing
a girl you really like,

but it's not like you're the
first guy it's ever happened to.

I was totally bummed
when I lost Cassidy.

And the point is, Brick,

there's gonna be a lot of
other women in your life.

[Sighs]

I don't want any other girls.

Well, the good news is no
matter how bad things seem,

everything in life ends up working out.

So you think Cindy will stay?

I was talking about my life.

The good news for you is the
Japanese are very close

to perfecting the robot girlfriend.

Once they make a cheaper version,

you could buy a tall
one, name it Cindy.

I just don't know why Mom and
Dad won't help me with this.

[Sighs]

Well [clears throat] here's the
thing about Mom and Dad...

I think, for the most part,
they want to make us happy...

I would never say that in front of them

'cause once you give them praise,

they'll just run with it...

But I think if there was
something they could do for you,

they would.

Just not 700 bucks.

- [Sighs]
- I know.

It's a lot of money.

♪

I bought you a present.

Thanks.

I didn't get you anything.

I can't believe you're actually moving.

I know.

I wish your parents weren't so cheap.

We just have to be strong.

April 2nd... the day my
life changed forever.

Hey, LuEllen.

- Nice to see you again.
- [Chuckles]

- Looks like a beautiful day to travel.
- [Chuckles]

Have a nice trip, Merv.

- Sorry we couldn't help you out.
- Help us out?

[Sighs]

- [Sighs]
- Well, I guess we ought to separate

Bogie and Bacall over there.

Okay, Brick. Wrap it up.

Goodbye, Brick.

Goodbye, Cindy.

[Car door closes]

I'll call you when I get there.

[Engine starts]

♪

Turns out, when Cindy's parents
said they were moving away,

they actually meant two houses away.

She never mentioned this to you?

We don't talk that much.

♪

- [Cellphone rings]
- Oh, I should take this.

Hello? Hey, Cindy.

She got there safe.

All right, everybody.

Great job on your essays.

Pleasantly surprised
by all that progress.

So, we are...

Hey, Pink Coat, how's it going?

Going into the home stretch now.

Heading towards the final exams.

So, uh, we have these things to review.

Reviewing... We're gonna
do a lot of that.

25% of your grade will be essay.

75% of it will be multiple choice.