The Messenger (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript
Empty the register into the bag!
Now!
Ed!
You're a dead man, Ed Kennedy.
Maybe someone's
decided you're a hero.
Are you here to save us?
How do you feel about
speaking at Milla's funeral?
I haven't got a great
track record with eulogies.
I have a kid!
You can't just waltz back in now
that you've found your conscience.
Bad dad! Bad dad!
Agh!
Do you think it's allowed? To help
your friends? To put THEM on a card?
Do it, Ritchie.
Audrey!
It's not all on you,
Ritch. It was an accident.
You told me to do it!
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
I got the blame for all of it
and you got nothing!
I'm arresting you for
the assault of Don King.
Stop!
My balloon!
It's OK, baby girl.
It's OK.
You'll get that balloon.
Oi, boy. Come here. Come here.
Despite what this looks like,
this is not part of the Sledge.
This is on you too, Auds.
Come on, darling, we don't need
to listen to this shit anymore.
Should be you under
arrest, Ritchie.
Mum, stop. You're crazy.
And put the money in the charity
boxes or you will burn in hell.
Oh!
OK.
Where's Melinda?
Oh, shit!
Ooh.
Audrey!
Wait. Audrey?! Ritchie?!
A little help here!
Please
don't lock up Marv.
Despite appearances and his
unnatural love for his car,
he's a REALLY great man.
And he's my friend.
Can I please make, um... a
statement for his good character?
Well, that usually happens later in
the process, if it goes to court.
But I can take your
name and your...
Yeah. Here. Here. Frank's here.
I'm Marvin's lawyer.
Alright, everyone, in the room.
Well, I'm not the one who
needs an apology, Tanya.
And I don't know what is
going on with your daughter,
but it was scary.
Mm-hm.
Well, you CAN see it, actually.
I took video of the thing.
Mum. Yeah.
OK.
Please, don't send it.
OK, I'll send it to
you. Mum, don't send it.
Blaming YOU
for what happened
when you were the only
one who stood by her
after she stabbed that kid.
She's just lost her
one and only friend.
Well, she has Ed and Marv, Mum.
Marv?
Christ, what WAS that?
I still don't get it.
Why would he
assault your father?
Seriously, what is wrong
with your friends?!
Please, stop.
Look, the sooner you
get to uni the better
because so much...
Oh! Just stop! Stop!
I'm on your side,
Audrey. Well, stop!
Stop being on my side!
That was some serious sledging
out on the field today.
You, uh... kind of
attacked the wrong side.
Right side.
Mm. It was Audrey.
Needed to be said.
This thing with Amy, I know it
happened a long time ago, though.
You and Audrey are
like best friends.
Well, maybe we won't
be friends anymore.
Yeah, let me fix this
for you, Ritchie.
What are you doing?
Calling her.
I'm on a card.
Aren't I?
What if that's not
what I want, Ed?
You and Audrey have been
friends since birth.
Stop the car. Oh,
Ritchie, come on.
You and Audrey belong together.
You're talking about
you, Ed, not me.
Why doesn't anyone ever talk
to me about what I want?!
Stop the car, Ed!
She's not talking to me, but
maybe she'll talk to you.
Audrey?
Ed's here.
Open up now, sweetheart.
Audrey?
Oh, shit!
No.
How could she leave without saying
goodbye? We... We have a rule.
Maybe she's at Simon's?
Sorry, I haven't seen her.
Tell me about this
Sledge match again.
I mean, what even is that?
It's football and sledging.
You yell insults at your opponent
and make them cry. It's for charity.
And Ritchie sledged Audrey?
Yeah, but she wasn't supposed to
because they're
on the same team.
The police arrested her.
No. Keep... Keep up, Simon.
They arrested Marv because
of the whole Don King thing.
You do know he's
Audrey's dad, yeah?
Do you guys ever talk?
About, like, anything?
Not really.
But you are her boyfriend.
Well, she sleeps with me.
We both know she loves YOU.
Sorry, Simon, could you
say that last bit again?
Who knew?
Yeah, no, quite right,
Milla. Stop faffing about.
It's the heart card.
I've just gotta lay it
on the line, right, Dad?
Yeah, OK, I'll call her.
Yeah, that's old school.
And if she doesn't answer,
then I'll... just hang up.
Ooh!
You've called
Audrey. Leave a message.
Oh, it's... Oh. Hey, Auds. Um...
I just saw Simon. Yeah.
Uh... He says hi.
Um... I had an
interesting chat with him.
Yeah.
He's a, um...
He's a good guy.
He's, uh... He's
very... very buff.
Yeah, I can see why you
wanna have sex with him.
Sorry, not that I want to have
sex with Simon, I don't...
I would like to have
a chat with you.
So, um... just... if...
Call me.
Bye.
Ohh!
Agh. Argh.
Ahh!
Audrey, please, don't
listen to that voicemail.
Wait, wait, wait! Tell them
I didn't take the pillow.
What?
Don King's trying to press charges
on me for theft on top of assault!
For stealing a frigging pillow,
bro! Tell Hal I didn't do it!
Tell him now! Now. Here, here.
He didn't take the pillow, OK?
I should know. I was there.
Hal, this assault was really
more like a pillow fight
than a fight-fight, OK?
It was.
You should really check the
CCTV footage of the store, OK,
then you'll see that Marv,
he didn't mean to hit him,
he was just trying to defend
the honour of our friend Audrey.
Would you be willing to make
a statement to that effect?
Definitely. I will
come back now.
Tomorrow. 8:00AM.
And bring Audrey.
She's a witness too.
And... And...
..bring the other one.
Why is this card so hard?!
No, I can do this.
I can do this.
Go away.
Head to the city
for the weekend?
Uh... Leaving, actually.
Not coming back.
Hey, um...
..everything alright?
Yeah.
I'm all good.
Really.
You told me
to do it! I'm sorry!
I got all the blame
and you got nothing!
That voice inside my head
- it was you, it wasn't me!
You told me to cut it. You
told me to cut her hair!
She turned around
at the wrong time!
What are you doing?
This is what happens when
you don't take your meds.
Can't you see that now?
See what?
God, Ritchie.
You're having a
psychotic episode.
No. No, no, I'm not.
That's private. Hey. No.
Why are you looking
up Amy Parker?!
You're not meant to
be anywhere near her.
Are you stalking her?
I just talked to her.
Oh, but then I stabbed her.
That is not funny.
No. It isn't.
Because you think I'd
actually do that. Wh...
Why is it that you never
ask me whether I'm OK?
Or... Or maybe even, "Why? Why,
Ritchie? Why did you go see her?
"Why did you go see Amy?"
OK, I'm calling Dr Nadel.
Dad! Mum!
I needed to know
what really happened
that day at school.
I...
It changed my whole life.
So, uh... Amy...
..she's fine by the way.
Thought it was all
blown out of proportion.
And just so you know, Audrey
- she told me to do it.
It was a dare.
"Cut her plait," she
said. "It'll be funny."
And Audrey never s...
She ne...
She never owned up.
She didn't...
She didn't have to pay...
..like I did.
Oh, come on, Ritchie, pick up.
I know you're in there.
OK, tell me what
YOU want, Ritchie.
All I've ever wanted is to be
treated like everyone else.
Is that... Is that
too much to ask?
Yeah, but you're not like
everyone else, Ritchie.
I'm not crazy.
No, but you're
wired differently.
And right now you're
having a manic episode
because you went off your drugs
because you refuse to
accept that you're bipolar.
You refuse to accept
that maybe I'm not.
It's you who told everyone that's
what I was - Dr Nadel, the school...
No. No. No. ..because
that was your mum.
I'm not her, Dad.
I know you hated that she never
took her meds or got help,
but maybe there's a reason she
didn't want to take this shit.
Yes, because she didn't think
she needed to, just like you!
And... And then she died, and I
don't want to lose you too, Ritchie.
Dad! And I'm scared.
She fell in the bathtub.
There was other things...
Whether she was taking her meds or
not, it still would have happened.
Ritchie, stop it! Vin, you too!
Just... I'm sorry,
Dad. I really am.
She left a note!
What?
She left a note behind.
For me.
♪ Do you ever
see someone and think
♪ "Wow, God must hate me"?
♪ 'Cause he spent
so much time on them
♪ And for me he got lazy
♪ Got ample mental
illness Personality flaws
♪ While their only flaws seems
to be that they have none at all
♪ Do you ever see
someone and think
♪ "Wow, God must hate me"?
♪ I'll let him
take accountability
♪ For everything
that's wrong with me
♪ Can't hold myself responsible
♪ So, I'll blame
the metaphysical
♪ If Jesus died for all our sins
♪ He left one behind
The body I'm in
♪ Same hands that made
the moon and the stars
♪ Got carpal tunnel
and forgot some parts
♪ I don't know what I believe
♪ But it's easier to think
he made a mistake with me
♪ Do you ever see someone and
think, "Wow, God must hate me"?
♪ 'Cause he spent
so much time on them
♪ And for me he got lazy. ♪
I didn't know that
you could do that.
You can't be here, Ed.
My parents will kill you.
Then they'll lock me up in a psych
ward for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to listen in.
Why didn't you say
something, about going off the drugs?
I thought you seemed different.
Then why didn't
you say something?
I'm sorry. I'm just
so shit at this stuff.
You don't say.
It's over now.
Experiment finished.
I just... wanted to know...
..who I was without them...
..how I felt as me.
And how did it feel?
Intense.
It all felt so much more.
I don't know if...
..any of it's normal
or if I'm gonna
end up like my nan.
Whoa.
Serial killer. String. Suspects.
"Who's behind the cards?"
I didn't even make
it as a suspect.
You?
Yeah, nah.
Show me.
Show me the world
according to Ritchie.
All of it.
What it looks like,
what it feels like.
Just let me be you for a night.
And then maybe I can
tell you if it's normal.
If that's what YOU want.
Go Fish.
Oh. More fun with three.
Alright, then.
Go on.
We'll use this.
Do you mind if I...
Oh. ..deal?
Want to see a trick?
Oh!
Just a trick my friend
Ritchie taught me
at card night.
So, where are you two off to?
We're just heading to the city
for New Year's for the fireworks
and then we'll be back.
Oh, well, then you'll
miss Moledale's fireworks.
Five drunk guys shooting flare
guns down the main street.
Yay, Moledale.
So, you've got a
problem with Moledale?
Yeah.
Drunks on New Year's Eve?
That, and it's boring.
Whoo!
There's nowhere to go.
Nothing to do
except be miserable.
Your life slowly leaking away.
OK.
Ohh!
Uh... Any aces?
People aren't bad, though.
Some of them.
Yeah, but, I mean,
they're all stuck too.
Everyone's hiding something,
pretending to be
something they're not.
Yeah.
I mean, no-one talks
about real stuff.
It's just...
..cards, cars,
darts, dumb movies.
Nothing that really matters.
Once you've seen that first
face, you see them everywhere.
I mean, you've had the
same friends since forever,
and they think they know
everything about you.
And they won't let
you forget it, but...
..the truth is they don't.
We all used to have such big dreams
about who we'd be and where we'd go.
And...
And...
How was your day? Missed me?
Wow!
Did you make that just for me?
Let's put it up on
the wall, shall we?
And...
..cue music.
And...
Sounding good. Sounding good!
You're getting better!
How are you doing this?
Seriously, how?
And where did all
those dreams go?
Down the Moledale
drain, that's where.
Got any kings?
Mm. Thank you very much.
Finally, I win.
See?
Attention,
passengers. Even the train sucks!
We're experiencing some
technical difficulties,
but we should be
back on our way soon.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
What's your verdict?
Crazy?
Or normal?
Hm!
Um... Well, you're
not crazy, Ritchie.
And you're not normal.
But, like, who is?
You're different, but
you're good different.
I don't want to go
back on the drugs.
I feel like I was just getting
the hang of life without them.
But my parents will never
let me try that again.
Well, do they get to decide?
You know, we're not
kids anymore.
What does your psych say?
He's, like, 103...
..and reports everything
back to my parents,
but, um...
..I get it now.
My parents don't
want me to end up like Nan.
I can't believe...
I can't believe
she killed herself.
Do you ever think about it?
Yeah.
I think about it.
Do you ever feel like that?
But, hey, I am glad you're here.
And you know you don't
have to do it all alone.
If you wanted to try again,
you know, go off the drugs
or change them,
I can be there with you.
We could do it together.
You could move in
with me if you like.
Yeah. You could
take Dad's old room.
'Cause, to be honest, I get
quite lonely without him.
Oh, God!
I have liquid
leaking from my eyes.
Uh...
You'd seriously do that for me?
Oh, yeah.
Give me that heart card.
He never acknowledged me.
Not once.
Not when I was born or when
I topped my school. Never.
He's why you're running?
Because I'm starting to
think maybe he's right...
..not wanting anything
to do with me.
Everything I touch I wreck.
That's bullshit.
He is not right.
You cannot let that
man drive you away.
Don't give him that.
Look, I get it.
I got myself into a bad
situation with her dad.
I lost all connection to
my friends and my family
and myself.
I was so stuck.
But then, uh...
..some random comes
and takes an interest.
Someone was watching.
Someone did
something to help us.
And, so, I'm doing the same
for you by telling you this.
Bad dads don't
always get to win.
But if you run away and desert
your friends when they need you,
well, you're only
proving him right.
I need
to go to the toilet.
We need to go find the toilet.
It seems to me like you've got a lot
of people who want to know you're OK.
Auds, the
thing I wanted to tell you?
I got another card.
After Milla died.
Ace of Hearts.
You're on it, with
Marv and Ritchie.
Because you're the three people
I love most in the world.
But I need you to tell me
what it is you want, Audrey.
What it is you need
from me.
So, I'm here.
Sprinkler Man!
What?!
What?
Are you sure? That's
Sprinkler Man.
He's the random who helped us.
If you've got Sprinkler
Man on your side,
why the hell are
you running away?
Thanks for your
patience, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh! Service will
resume shortly.
Audrey.
No. Auds, wait.
Oh, just go back to Ritchie, Ed.
What? No. No, no, it's not like that
with me and Ritchie. Are you joking?
No, she went off her meds, OK?
And her parents,
they don't get it.
Where have you been?
I got on a train, Ed,
and I wasn't coming back.
And then I got your message.
Which one? I left a few.
The one about me being
on the heart card.
And how you wanted me to tell
you what it is that I want.
From you.
And what is it that you want?
I don't want to
keep running away.
Um... Ed?
Shit.
Hey, Ritchie. Um... Audrey and I
were just in the middle of something.
Hey, Ritch.
I am so, so sorry.
Marv called.
They locked him up.
He's still there.
He was crying, Ed.
Hey, Marv.
Hey, you guys.
What happened?
Why'd they
keep you in overnight?
Uh... Oh, I was about
to go home with my dad,
but then big boss-man came down.
He said that Don King called and
he was concerned for his safety.
Come on, son,
bail's been sorted.
I called Suzanne.
She said I'm not allowed
to see Melinda again.
Having no dad is better than
seeing your dad in jail.
She's right.
I love you guys.
I want to make a statement.
Now.
How does a glorified
furniture salesman
get to have so much
power in this town?
He's not even a real king.
He's a sofa king.
No wonder he didn't want
to send the tapes over.
You're
the worst dad in the world!
Stop it!
Ritch,
what are you doing?
Marv, stop it!
Bad dad! Bad dad!
Yeah, OK. Yeah, it's funny.
And Don King looks like a dick,
but Marv still hit him at the end.
It won't help us.
Argh!
Come on, run.
It's a bad idea,
Ed. Why is it bad?
All you have to do is
get his DNA, a few hairs,
send his off with
yours, get a report,
it'll come back, says
he's your dad, bad PR.
It doesn't change the
fact that Marv hit him.
But Don King
won't wanna go to court
if he knows he's gonna
be exposed as a liar.
Look, Hal said we are not allowed
to go within 10 kays of him,
understood?
Well, then are we just
gonna give up on Marv?
No, that's not... Sorry.
Um... I've gotta go.
I'm not giving up on
Marv. It's just...
..my parents texted me
and they're gonna escort
me to a mental facility
if I don't go home right now.
OK, I will go with you.
No, I'll go.
Please.
It needs to be me.
After I get a hair
sample from you. No.
I will get his, and
he won't even... No.
He won't even know. Ed,
don't even think about it.
So this is what an
intervention looks like.
I've always wondered.
If this is about Ritchie
attacking me yesterday at Sledge,
I just want to say that
everything she said was true.
And I 100% deserved the
sledging that I got.
I never stood up for her
when she needed me to.
And...
..I never told anyone about my
part in what happened because...
..because I didn't
want to get in trouble
and for my dad to hear
about it and think I was bad
and have yet another
excuse not to meet me.
So, I let Ritchie take the fall.
For everything.
And I am so... so sorry.
So, please, please,
don't lock up my friend.
Nobody's locking
anybody up, Audrey.
God, your generation's dramatic.
Thank you for your words
and for standing
up for Ritchie now.
Only nine years too late.
Yeah, well I think we owe
you an apology too, Ritchie.
Yeah, we do.
Thank you, dad.
Um...
Since we're all sharing.
Dr Nadel...
..I don't want you to
be my psych anymore.
I think I need someone more
age-appropriate. No offence.
Mum, Dad,
I love you,
but, to do what I need to
do for my own mental health,
I can't do that under your roof.
So, I'm moving in with Ed.
You know, all I ever wanted was just
one nice interaction with my dad.
Nothing big.
Maybe a response to all
the school photos Mum sent.
But, no, you just sent
them back without a word.
Who does that?
I was a kid.
And I am not your dad...
Yes, you are.
Believe me, I'm not the only guy
..your mum slept with back then.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, stop!
We had a DNA test done
years ago to prove it,
and I know you've
seen the report.
The only reason my mum didn't take
you to court for child support
is 'cause she didn't
want to look desperate.
She's got way too
much pride for that.
So, you're here to blackmail me?
No.
I'm here to make a deal.
Look, I know you don't
want to be my dad.
But my friend Marv's
got a little girl too,
and, you know, all
he's ever wanted
is a chance to be in her
life, to be a father to her.
And because of this charge over
a stupid fucking pillow fight
you're going to take that
chance away from him.
And you and I both know
why you're doing it.
It's to get back at me.
You already broke me.
You've won.
'Cause I am a pathetic,
unhappy, unlovable fuck-up
who hurts the people she loves
and runs away from
anyone good or kind
before they get a chance to
reject me the way you have.
If you drop this charge
against my friend,
I'll stop trying to
get your attention.
I will. I'll stop
trying to contact you.
I give you my word. I will
put it in writing if you want.
Whatever you want.
Do we have a deal?
Daddy, are you coming?
I'm coming, sweet pea.
Stop!
Bad dad! Bad dad!
Argh!
Oh. You're here.
Um...
What are you doing?
I added some effects.
Posted to a few sites.
People need to know the
truth about Don King.
He's a bad dad.
Yoo-hoo!
So, how's the
eulogy coming along?
Oh.
That good?
Well, I've just been busy. I've
been working on the heart card.
Well, you got any ticks?
Hello, Father.
Afternoon.
Mm!
Interesting.
Thought it would have
been Audrey moving in.
I've come as I need a photo of
Milla for the order of service.
I thought there might
be some in her boxes.
OK.
No, no, no, you sit and write.
Ritchie and I can
find the photos.
It's tomorrow, Ed.
Mm-hm.
Oh, isn't she beautiful?
Oh, my God.
Naw!
One with you, Jimmy.
I sent you a link to a video,
and I... I want you to watch it.
Ed, seriously, I can't do
this. Just look at the link.
Please. Just one look and then I
promise I will leave you alone.
Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad
dad!
Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad!
Again! Again! Play it again!
Thanks. My daughter is
never gonna sleep now.
Um... Yeah, sorry.
Um... I just wanted you to see
it. Play it again!
OK, Marv is not a bad dad.
OK, he wants to be a good one.
You ready?
I'd now like to
introduce someone
who had a very special
bond with our Milla,
a true meeting of souls.
Mr Ed Kennedy.
Um...
Um...
I...
Sorry.
Hello there.
Thanks for being here.
It's quite the turnout, eh?
I have been so terrified to
do this today, because, um...
..at my dad's funeral,
when it came to
this bit, I choked.
I never did get to say the
words I'd written for him.
And it was just simple stuff.
Like that you were
a true gentleman
who never had a bad word
to say about anyone.
You were always kind.
And despite being shit at
money and with marriage...
..you were my dad.
And you were a good one.
And I loved you.
But I know he's not here. Um...
This is Milla's day.
But, you know, I bet if they had
met in real life, Milla and Dad,
they would have been
great mates.
'Cause they were the same, you know,
they were just... big romantics.
And that's how Milla lived her
life, you know. She lived for love.
Grand, crazy, romantic
love for her Jimmy.
And I think... I think that's why
I was sent to Milla, actually,
to learn about love.
And I WAS sent to her.
She called a cab, but not
because she wanted to go anywhere
but because she just wanted a chat
and a cup of tea with her Jimmy.
And when I walked
through those doors,
you know, she called me by his
name, and that's who I became,
and, you know, you think it'd be
weird, but, like... it wasn't.
And we would... Oh, we
would talk for hours
and we would reminisce about the old
times and we'd dance and we'd laugh,
and I liked being her Jimmy
because, unlike me, he always
seemed to know what to say.
And I think Milla
did that, you know?
She brought out
the best in people.
But love is complicated,
and, um...
..Milla only ever had stolen
moments with her real Jimmy
because he had another
life with a wife and kids.
And now, before you
get all judgey, OK,
she never asked him to give
them up for her because...
..because...
..I think...
Because I think she
never quite believed
she deserved to be number
one in Jimmy's heart.
Or anyone's heart,
for that matter.
She never thought
she was quite enough.
And, uh...
And, if she were here today...
..I would want her to know
that she was never second best.
No, not with me.
And, um...
..I would say to her
that "You think you're
broken and unlovable...
"but you are the
first in my heart
and in my life."
And you say you run from anyone who's
kind to you or who truly knows you
because you're
scared of rejection.
But you may run,
but you come back.
And I know you.
I know you better than anyone.
And there is nothing
that you could do or say
that'd make me stop loving you.
Go, Milla.
Yours is the face I think of
when I lie in bed alone at night
and it's the first one I
want to see when I wake up.
Oh, Ed.
And you have the
most beautiful eyes.
And 22 freckles across
your nose and cheeks.
And, yes, yeah, I counted them.
And those lips...
..that I always wanted to kiss.
Oh.
And, for the record,
when I did kiss you,
it was never a
hate-kiss like you said.
No, I kissed you...
I...
I kissed you out of love.
You are the bravest
person that I know
and you're the smartest and
you're the funniest too.
And if this was the
last day of my life
I'd want you to know that
it's always been you.
Mm!
Finally.
♪ It had to be you... ♪
Come on, join if you know it!
♪ It had to be you
♪ I wandered around
♪ Finally found
♪ Somebody who
♪ Could make me be true
♪ Could make feel blue
♪ Or even be glad
♪ Just to be sad
♪ Thinking of you
♪ Some others I've seen
♪ Might never be mean
♪ Might never be cross
♪ Or try to be boss
♪ But they wouldn't do
♪ 'Cause nobody else
gave me a thrill... ♪
You kissed Ed.
Ed!
Come here, you crazy girl.
You know, Ed, I've been thinking
we ought to have you
declared some kind of saint.
Are you having
a brain aneurism, Father?
Not that I know of.
You may scoff, but I'm serious.
Why?
Why would you say that?
'Cause, Ed, if a guy like you
can stand up and
do what you did,
not just today,
then maybe,
maybe,
we can all live beyond what
we think we're capable of.
We were the ones who...
Hm?
The only reason why they pashed
is 'cause WE hooked up, OK?
We... Stop, Marv,
and turn around.
You're a bad dad!
You're a bad dad!
Hey!
It's her favourite video.
Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad!
You look like a total badarse.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do, eh?
You can see her Wednesdays
and every second Sunday.
But Wednesday
night's card night.
So?
So... So?
So... cool.
Cool? Yeah. Cool.
Cool, yeah. Yep.
Because I am gonna teach
you how to play cards.
You wanna play cards? No. No.
Yeah! Yeah.
No. You're not.
We're gonna
play cards. Come on!
It's the last card!
It's over.
Well...
..there is one thing left to do.
What?
We have to have sex.
Hang on. Like, now?
What, you don't want
to have sex with me?
No, I do. I absolutely
do.
Um... No, Auds, I just want...
There's something you need to know.
Um... I'm not so good at sex.
That's OK. I am.
Wait for it.
Wait.
"Bad dad"? Is that you?
You, isn't it? Oh,
God! Oh, do the face!
Do the face, please.
Yeah, just take a photo.
Yeah,
what's up?! What's up man?!
Thank you so much. No worries.
Hey, have a good one, guys.
Thank you. Have a good one.
Hey, gotta make time
for fans, right?
Oh, Marv. You know
you're a GIF now, right?
Hey, I'm not just a GIF. I'm
more of a local celebrity, OK?
And don't forget it.
Hey. Look. Is that
who I think it is?
Oh, my God.
Maybe he's already out of jail.
Or, well, maybe he broke out.
Go on. Aren't you
curious? Go talk to him.
Ed. Don't let him get away.
Go, go, go, go. Hey.
Hey. Hey, robber guy.
Hurry up. Hey, uh.. Sorry.
Sorry, not cutting in.
Sorry, not cutting in.
Oi! Seriously,
I'm not cutting in.
Hey! Hey!
What?
I knew it.
I knew it!
Ed?
Is that another card?
Captions by Red Bee Media
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
Now!
Ed!
You're a dead man, Ed Kennedy.
Maybe someone's
decided you're a hero.
Are you here to save us?
How do you feel about
speaking at Milla's funeral?
I haven't got a great
track record with eulogies.
I have a kid!
You can't just waltz back in now
that you've found your conscience.
Bad dad! Bad dad!
Agh!
Do you think it's allowed? To help
your friends? To put THEM on a card?
Do it, Ritchie.
Audrey!
It's not all on you,
Ritch. It was an accident.
You told me to do it!
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
I got the blame for all of it
and you got nothing!
I'm arresting you for
the assault of Don King.
Stop!
My balloon!
It's OK, baby girl.
It's OK.
You'll get that balloon.
Oi, boy. Come here. Come here.
Despite what this looks like,
this is not part of the Sledge.
This is on you too, Auds.
Come on, darling, we don't need
to listen to this shit anymore.
Should be you under
arrest, Ritchie.
Mum, stop. You're crazy.
And put the money in the charity
boxes or you will burn in hell.
Oh!
OK.
Where's Melinda?
Oh, shit!
Ooh.
Audrey!
Wait. Audrey?! Ritchie?!
A little help here!
Please
don't lock up Marv.
Despite appearances and his
unnatural love for his car,
he's a REALLY great man.
And he's my friend.
Can I please make, um... a
statement for his good character?
Well, that usually happens later in
the process, if it goes to court.
But I can take your
name and your...
Yeah. Here. Here. Frank's here.
I'm Marvin's lawyer.
Alright, everyone, in the room.
Well, I'm not the one who
needs an apology, Tanya.
And I don't know what is
going on with your daughter,
but it was scary.
Mm-hm.
Well, you CAN see it, actually.
I took video of the thing.
Mum. Yeah.
OK.
Please, don't send it.
OK, I'll send it to
you. Mum, don't send it.
Blaming YOU
for what happened
when you were the only
one who stood by her
after she stabbed that kid.
She's just lost her
one and only friend.
Well, she has Ed and Marv, Mum.
Marv?
Christ, what WAS that?
I still don't get it.
Why would he
assault your father?
Seriously, what is wrong
with your friends?!
Please, stop.
Look, the sooner you
get to uni the better
because so much...
Oh! Just stop! Stop!
I'm on your side,
Audrey. Well, stop!
Stop being on my side!
That was some serious sledging
out on the field today.
You, uh... kind of
attacked the wrong side.
Right side.
Mm. It was Audrey.
Needed to be said.
This thing with Amy, I know it
happened a long time ago, though.
You and Audrey are
like best friends.
Well, maybe we won't
be friends anymore.
Yeah, let me fix this
for you, Ritchie.
What are you doing?
Calling her.
I'm on a card.
Aren't I?
What if that's not
what I want, Ed?
You and Audrey have been
friends since birth.
Stop the car. Oh,
Ritchie, come on.
You and Audrey belong together.
You're talking about
you, Ed, not me.
Why doesn't anyone ever talk
to me about what I want?!
Stop the car, Ed!
She's not talking to me, but
maybe she'll talk to you.
Audrey?
Ed's here.
Open up now, sweetheart.
Audrey?
Oh, shit!
No.
How could she leave without saying
goodbye? We... We have a rule.
Maybe she's at Simon's?
Sorry, I haven't seen her.
Tell me about this
Sledge match again.
I mean, what even is that?
It's football and sledging.
You yell insults at your opponent
and make them cry. It's for charity.
And Ritchie sledged Audrey?
Yeah, but she wasn't supposed to
because they're
on the same team.
The police arrested her.
No. Keep... Keep up, Simon.
They arrested Marv because
of the whole Don King thing.
You do know he's
Audrey's dad, yeah?
Do you guys ever talk?
About, like, anything?
Not really.
But you are her boyfriend.
Well, she sleeps with me.
We both know she loves YOU.
Sorry, Simon, could you
say that last bit again?
Who knew?
Yeah, no, quite right,
Milla. Stop faffing about.
It's the heart card.
I've just gotta lay it
on the line, right, Dad?
Yeah, OK, I'll call her.
Yeah, that's old school.
And if she doesn't answer,
then I'll... just hang up.
Ooh!
You've called
Audrey. Leave a message.
Oh, it's... Oh. Hey, Auds. Um...
I just saw Simon. Yeah.
Uh... He says hi.
Um... I had an
interesting chat with him.
Yeah.
He's a, um...
He's a good guy.
He's, uh... He's
very... very buff.
Yeah, I can see why you
wanna have sex with him.
Sorry, not that I want to have
sex with Simon, I don't...
I would like to have
a chat with you.
So, um... just... if...
Call me.
Bye.
Ohh!
Agh. Argh.
Ahh!
Audrey, please, don't
listen to that voicemail.
Wait, wait, wait! Tell them
I didn't take the pillow.
What?
Don King's trying to press charges
on me for theft on top of assault!
For stealing a frigging pillow,
bro! Tell Hal I didn't do it!
Tell him now! Now. Here, here.
He didn't take the pillow, OK?
I should know. I was there.
Hal, this assault was really
more like a pillow fight
than a fight-fight, OK?
It was.
You should really check the
CCTV footage of the store, OK,
then you'll see that Marv,
he didn't mean to hit him,
he was just trying to defend
the honour of our friend Audrey.
Would you be willing to make
a statement to that effect?
Definitely. I will
come back now.
Tomorrow. 8:00AM.
And bring Audrey.
She's a witness too.
And... And...
..bring the other one.
Why is this card so hard?!
No, I can do this.
I can do this.
Go away.
Head to the city
for the weekend?
Uh... Leaving, actually.
Not coming back.
Hey, um...
..everything alright?
Yeah.
I'm all good.
Really.
You told me
to do it! I'm sorry!
I got all the blame
and you got nothing!
That voice inside my head
- it was you, it wasn't me!
You told me to cut it. You
told me to cut her hair!
She turned around
at the wrong time!
What are you doing?
This is what happens when
you don't take your meds.
Can't you see that now?
See what?
God, Ritchie.
You're having a
psychotic episode.
No. No, no, I'm not.
That's private. Hey. No.
Why are you looking
up Amy Parker?!
You're not meant to
be anywhere near her.
Are you stalking her?
I just talked to her.
Oh, but then I stabbed her.
That is not funny.
No. It isn't.
Because you think I'd
actually do that. Wh...
Why is it that you never
ask me whether I'm OK?
Or... Or maybe even, "Why? Why,
Ritchie? Why did you go see her?
"Why did you go see Amy?"
OK, I'm calling Dr Nadel.
Dad! Mum!
I needed to know
what really happened
that day at school.
I...
It changed my whole life.
So, uh... Amy...
..she's fine by the way.
Thought it was all
blown out of proportion.
And just so you know, Audrey
- she told me to do it.
It was a dare.
"Cut her plait," she
said. "It'll be funny."
And Audrey never s...
She ne...
She never owned up.
She didn't...
She didn't have to pay...
..like I did.
Oh, come on, Ritchie, pick up.
I know you're in there.
OK, tell me what
YOU want, Ritchie.
All I've ever wanted is to be
treated like everyone else.
Is that... Is that
too much to ask?
Yeah, but you're not like
everyone else, Ritchie.
I'm not crazy.
No, but you're
wired differently.
And right now you're
having a manic episode
because you went off your drugs
because you refuse to
accept that you're bipolar.
You refuse to accept
that maybe I'm not.
It's you who told everyone that's
what I was - Dr Nadel, the school...
No. No. No. ..because
that was your mum.
I'm not her, Dad.
I know you hated that she never
took her meds or got help,
but maybe there's a reason she
didn't want to take this shit.
Yes, because she didn't think
she needed to, just like you!
And... And then she died, and I
don't want to lose you too, Ritchie.
Dad! And I'm scared.
She fell in the bathtub.
There was other things...
Whether she was taking her meds or
not, it still would have happened.
Ritchie, stop it! Vin, you too!
Just... I'm sorry,
Dad. I really am.
She left a note!
What?
She left a note behind.
For me.
♪ Do you ever
see someone and think
♪ "Wow, God must hate me"?
♪ 'Cause he spent
so much time on them
♪ And for me he got lazy
♪ Got ample mental
illness Personality flaws
♪ While their only flaws seems
to be that they have none at all
♪ Do you ever see
someone and think
♪ "Wow, God must hate me"?
♪ I'll let him
take accountability
♪ For everything
that's wrong with me
♪ Can't hold myself responsible
♪ So, I'll blame
the metaphysical
♪ If Jesus died for all our sins
♪ He left one behind
The body I'm in
♪ Same hands that made
the moon and the stars
♪ Got carpal tunnel
and forgot some parts
♪ I don't know what I believe
♪ But it's easier to think
he made a mistake with me
♪ Do you ever see someone and
think, "Wow, God must hate me"?
♪ 'Cause he spent
so much time on them
♪ And for me he got lazy. ♪
I didn't know that
you could do that.
You can't be here, Ed.
My parents will kill you.
Then they'll lock me up in a psych
ward for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to listen in.
Why didn't you say
something, about going off the drugs?
I thought you seemed different.
Then why didn't
you say something?
I'm sorry. I'm just
so shit at this stuff.
You don't say.
It's over now.
Experiment finished.
I just... wanted to know...
..who I was without them...
..how I felt as me.
And how did it feel?
Intense.
It all felt so much more.
I don't know if...
..any of it's normal
or if I'm gonna
end up like my nan.
Whoa.
Serial killer. String. Suspects.
"Who's behind the cards?"
I didn't even make
it as a suspect.
You?
Yeah, nah.
Show me.
Show me the world
according to Ritchie.
All of it.
What it looks like,
what it feels like.
Just let me be you for a night.
And then maybe I can
tell you if it's normal.
If that's what YOU want.
Go Fish.
Oh. More fun with three.
Alright, then.
Go on.
We'll use this.
Do you mind if I...
Oh. ..deal?
Want to see a trick?
Oh!
Just a trick my friend
Ritchie taught me
at card night.
So, where are you two off to?
We're just heading to the city
for New Year's for the fireworks
and then we'll be back.
Oh, well, then you'll
miss Moledale's fireworks.
Five drunk guys shooting flare
guns down the main street.
Yay, Moledale.
So, you've got a
problem with Moledale?
Yeah.
Drunks on New Year's Eve?
That, and it's boring.
Whoo!
There's nowhere to go.
Nothing to do
except be miserable.
Your life slowly leaking away.
OK.
Ohh!
Uh... Any aces?
People aren't bad, though.
Some of them.
Yeah, but, I mean,
they're all stuck too.
Everyone's hiding something,
pretending to be
something they're not.
Yeah.
I mean, no-one talks
about real stuff.
It's just...
..cards, cars,
darts, dumb movies.
Nothing that really matters.
Once you've seen that first
face, you see them everywhere.
I mean, you've had the
same friends since forever,
and they think they know
everything about you.
And they won't let
you forget it, but...
..the truth is they don't.
We all used to have such big dreams
about who we'd be and where we'd go.
And...
And...
How was your day? Missed me?
Wow!
Did you make that just for me?
Let's put it up on
the wall, shall we?
And...
..cue music.
And...
Sounding good. Sounding good!
You're getting better!
How are you doing this?
Seriously, how?
And where did all
those dreams go?
Down the Moledale
drain, that's where.
Got any kings?
Mm. Thank you very much.
Finally, I win.
See?
Attention,
passengers. Even the train sucks!
We're experiencing some
technical difficulties,
but we should be
back on our way soon.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
What's your verdict?
Crazy?
Or normal?
Hm!
Um... Well, you're
not crazy, Ritchie.
And you're not normal.
But, like, who is?
You're different, but
you're good different.
I don't want to go
back on the drugs.
I feel like I was just getting
the hang of life without them.
But my parents will never
let me try that again.
Well, do they get to decide?
You know, we're not
kids anymore.
What does your psych say?
He's, like, 103...
..and reports everything
back to my parents,
but, um...
..I get it now.
My parents don't
want me to end up like Nan.
I can't believe...
I can't believe
she killed herself.
Do you ever think about it?
Yeah.
I think about it.
Do you ever feel like that?
But, hey, I am glad you're here.
And you know you don't
have to do it all alone.
If you wanted to try again,
you know, go off the drugs
or change them,
I can be there with you.
We could do it together.
You could move in
with me if you like.
Yeah. You could
take Dad's old room.
'Cause, to be honest, I get
quite lonely without him.
Oh, God!
I have liquid
leaking from my eyes.
Uh...
You'd seriously do that for me?
Oh, yeah.
Give me that heart card.
He never acknowledged me.
Not once.
Not when I was born or when
I topped my school. Never.
He's why you're running?
Because I'm starting to
think maybe he's right...
..not wanting anything
to do with me.
Everything I touch I wreck.
That's bullshit.
He is not right.
You cannot let that
man drive you away.
Don't give him that.
Look, I get it.
I got myself into a bad
situation with her dad.
I lost all connection to
my friends and my family
and myself.
I was so stuck.
But then, uh...
..some random comes
and takes an interest.
Someone was watching.
Someone did
something to help us.
And, so, I'm doing the same
for you by telling you this.
Bad dads don't
always get to win.
But if you run away and desert
your friends when they need you,
well, you're only
proving him right.
I need
to go to the toilet.
We need to go find the toilet.
It seems to me like you've got a lot
of people who want to know you're OK.
Auds, the
thing I wanted to tell you?
I got another card.
After Milla died.
Ace of Hearts.
You're on it, with
Marv and Ritchie.
Because you're the three people
I love most in the world.
But I need you to tell me
what it is you want, Audrey.
What it is you need
from me.
So, I'm here.
Sprinkler Man!
What?!
What?
Are you sure? That's
Sprinkler Man.
He's the random who helped us.
If you've got Sprinkler
Man on your side,
why the hell are
you running away?
Thanks for your
patience, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh! Service will
resume shortly.
Audrey.
No. Auds, wait.
Oh, just go back to Ritchie, Ed.
What? No. No, no, it's not like that
with me and Ritchie. Are you joking?
No, she went off her meds, OK?
And her parents,
they don't get it.
Where have you been?
I got on a train, Ed,
and I wasn't coming back.
And then I got your message.
Which one? I left a few.
The one about me being
on the heart card.
And how you wanted me to tell
you what it is that I want.
From you.
And what is it that you want?
I don't want to
keep running away.
Um... Ed?
Shit.
Hey, Ritchie. Um... Audrey and I
were just in the middle of something.
Hey, Ritch.
I am so, so sorry.
Marv called.
They locked him up.
He's still there.
He was crying, Ed.
Hey, Marv.
Hey, you guys.
What happened?
Why'd they
keep you in overnight?
Uh... Oh, I was about
to go home with my dad,
but then big boss-man came down.
He said that Don King called and
he was concerned for his safety.
Come on, son,
bail's been sorted.
I called Suzanne.
She said I'm not allowed
to see Melinda again.
Having no dad is better than
seeing your dad in jail.
She's right.
I love you guys.
I want to make a statement.
Now.
How does a glorified
furniture salesman
get to have so much
power in this town?
He's not even a real king.
He's a sofa king.
No wonder he didn't want
to send the tapes over.
You're
the worst dad in the world!
Stop it!
Ritch,
what are you doing?
Marv, stop it!
Bad dad! Bad dad!
Yeah, OK. Yeah, it's funny.
And Don King looks like a dick,
but Marv still hit him at the end.
It won't help us.
Argh!
Come on, run.
It's a bad idea,
Ed. Why is it bad?
All you have to do is
get his DNA, a few hairs,
send his off with
yours, get a report,
it'll come back, says
he's your dad, bad PR.
It doesn't change the
fact that Marv hit him.
But Don King
won't wanna go to court
if he knows he's gonna
be exposed as a liar.
Look, Hal said we are not allowed
to go within 10 kays of him,
understood?
Well, then are we just
gonna give up on Marv?
No, that's not... Sorry.
Um... I've gotta go.
I'm not giving up on
Marv. It's just...
..my parents texted me
and they're gonna escort
me to a mental facility
if I don't go home right now.
OK, I will go with you.
No, I'll go.
Please.
It needs to be me.
After I get a hair
sample from you. No.
I will get his, and
he won't even... No.
He won't even know. Ed,
don't even think about it.
So this is what an
intervention looks like.
I've always wondered.
If this is about Ritchie
attacking me yesterday at Sledge,
I just want to say that
everything she said was true.
And I 100% deserved the
sledging that I got.
I never stood up for her
when she needed me to.
And...
..I never told anyone about my
part in what happened because...
..because I didn't
want to get in trouble
and for my dad to hear
about it and think I was bad
and have yet another
excuse not to meet me.
So, I let Ritchie take the fall.
For everything.
And I am so... so sorry.
So, please, please,
don't lock up my friend.
Nobody's locking
anybody up, Audrey.
God, your generation's dramatic.
Thank you for your words
and for standing
up for Ritchie now.
Only nine years too late.
Yeah, well I think we owe
you an apology too, Ritchie.
Yeah, we do.
Thank you, dad.
Um...
Since we're all sharing.
Dr Nadel...
..I don't want you to
be my psych anymore.
I think I need someone more
age-appropriate. No offence.
Mum, Dad,
I love you,
but, to do what I need to
do for my own mental health,
I can't do that under your roof.
So, I'm moving in with Ed.
You know, all I ever wanted was just
one nice interaction with my dad.
Nothing big.
Maybe a response to all
the school photos Mum sent.
But, no, you just sent
them back without a word.
Who does that?
I was a kid.
And I am not your dad...
Yes, you are.
Believe me, I'm not the only guy
..your mum slept with back then.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, stop!
We had a DNA test done
years ago to prove it,
and I know you've
seen the report.
The only reason my mum didn't take
you to court for child support
is 'cause she didn't
want to look desperate.
She's got way too
much pride for that.
So, you're here to blackmail me?
No.
I'm here to make a deal.
Look, I know you don't
want to be my dad.
But my friend Marv's
got a little girl too,
and, you know, all
he's ever wanted
is a chance to be in her
life, to be a father to her.
And because of this charge over
a stupid fucking pillow fight
you're going to take that
chance away from him.
And you and I both know
why you're doing it.
It's to get back at me.
You already broke me.
You've won.
'Cause I am a pathetic,
unhappy, unlovable fuck-up
who hurts the people she loves
and runs away from
anyone good or kind
before they get a chance to
reject me the way you have.
If you drop this charge
against my friend,
I'll stop trying to
get your attention.
I will. I'll stop
trying to contact you.
I give you my word. I will
put it in writing if you want.
Whatever you want.
Do we have a deal?
Daddy, are you coming?
I'm coming, sweet pea.
Stop!
Bad dad! Bad dad!
Argh!
Oh. You're here.
Um...
What are you doing?
I added some effects.
Posted to a few sites.
People need to know the
truth about Don King.
He's a bad dad.
Yoo-hoo!
So, how's the
eulogy coming along?
Oh.
That good?
Well, I've just been busy. I've
been working on the heart card.
Well, you got any ticks?
Hello, Father.
Afternoon.
Mm!
Interesting.
Thought it would have
been Audrey moving in.
I've come as I need a photo of
Milla for the order of service.
I thought there might
be some in her boxes.
OK.
No, no, no, you sit and write.
Ritchie and I can
find the photos.
It's tomorrow, Ed.
Mm-hm.
Oh, isn't she beautiful?
Oh, my God.
Naw!
One with you, Jimmy.
I sent you a link to a video,
and I... I want you to watch it.
Ed, seriously, I can't do
this. Just look at the link.
Please. Just one look and then I
promise I will leave you alone.
Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad
dad!
Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad!
Again! Again! Play it again!
Thanks. My daughter is
never gonna sleep now.
Um... Yeah, sorry.
Um... I just wanted you to see
it. Play it again!
OK, Marv is not a bad dad.
OK, he wants to be a good one.
You ready?
I'd now like to
introduce someone
who had a very special
bond with our Milla,
a true meeting of souls.
Mr Ed Kennedy.
Um...
Um...
I...
Sorry.
Hello there.
Thanks for being here.
It's quite the turnout, eh?
I have been so terrified to
do this today, because, um...
..at my dad's funeral,
when it came to
this bit, I choked.
I never did get to say the
words I'd written for him.
And it was just simple stuff.
Like that you were
a true gentleman
who never had a bad word
to say about anyone.
You were always kind.
And despite being shit at
money and with marriage...
..you were my dad.
And you were a good one.
And I loved you.
But I know he's not here. Um...
This is Milla's day.
But, you know, I bet if they had
met in real life, Milla and Dad,
they would have been
great mates.
'Cause they were the same, you know,
they were just... big romantics.
And that's how Milla lived her
life, you know. She lived for love.
Grand, crazy, romantic
love for her Jimmy.
And I think... I think that's why
I was sent to Milla, actually,
to learn about love.
And I WAS sent to her.
She called a cab, but not
because she wanted to go anywhere
but because she just wanted a chat
and a cup of tea with her Jimmy.
And when I walked
through those doors,
you know, she called me by his
name, and that's who I became,
and, you know, you think it'd be
weird, but, like... it wasn't.
And we would... Oh, we
would talk for hours
and we would reminisce about the old
times and we'd dance and we'd laugh,
and I liked being her Jimmy
because, unlike me, he always
seemed to know what to say.
And I think Milla
did that, you know?
She brought out
the best in people.
But love is complicated,
and, um...
..Milla only ever had stolen
moments with her real Jimmy
because he had another
life with a wife and kids.
And now, before you
get all judgey, OK,
she never asked him to give
them up for her because...
..because...
..I think...
Because I think she
never quite believed
she deserved to be number
one in Jimmy's heart.
Or anyone's heart,
for that matter.
She never thought
she was quite enough.
And, uh...
And, if she were here today...
..I would want her to know
that she was never second best.
No, not with me.
And, um...
..I would say to her
that "You think you're
broken and unlovable...
"but you are the
first in my heart
and in my life."
And you say you run from anyone who's
kind to you or who truly knows you
because you're
scared of rejection.
But you may run,
but you come back.
And I know you.
I know you better than anyone.
And there is nothing
that you could do or say
that'd make me stop loving you.
Go, Milla.
Yours is the face I think of
when I lie in bed alone at night
and it's the first one I
want to see when I wake up.
Oh, Ed.
And you have the
most beautiful eyes.
And 22 freckles across
your nose and cheeks.
And, yes, yeah, I counted them.
And those lips...
..that I always wanted to kiss.
Oh.
And, for the record,
when I did kiss you,
it was never a
hate-kiss like you said.
No, I kissed you...
I...
I kissed you out of love.
You are the bravest
person that I know
and you're the smartest and
you're the funniest too.
And if this was the
last day of my life
I'd want you to know that
it's always been you.
Mm!
Finally.
♪ It had to be you... ♪
Come on, join if you know it!
♪ It had to be you
♪ I wandered around
♪ Finally found
♪ Somebody who
♪ Could make me be true
♪ Could make feel blue
♪ Or even be glad
♪ Just to be sad
♪ Thinking of you
♪ Some others I've seen
♪ Might never be mean
♪ Might never be cross
♪ Or try to be boss
♪ But they wouldn't do
♪ 'Cause nobody else
gave me a thrill... ♪
You kissed Ed.
Ed!
Come here, you crazy girl.
You know, Ed, I've been thinking
we ought to have you
declared some kind of saint.
Are you having
a brain aneurism, Father?
Not that I know of.
You may scoff, but I'm serious.
Why?
Why would you say that?
'Cause, Ed, if a guy like you
can stand up and
do what you did,
not just today,
then maybe,
maybe,
we can all live beyond what
we think we're capable of.
We were the ones who...
Hm?
The only reason why they pashed
is 'cause WE hooked up, OK?
We... Stop, Marv,
and turn around.
You're a bad dad!
You're a bad dad!
Hey!
It's her favourite video.
Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad!
You look like a total badarse.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do, eh?
You can see her Wednesdays
and every second Sunday.
But Wednesday
night's card night.
So?
So... So?
So... cool.
Cool? Yeah. Cool.
Cool, yeah. Yep.
Because I am gonna teach
you how to play cards.
You wanna play cards? No. No.
Yeah! Yeah.
No. You're not.
We're gonna
play cards. Come on!
It's the last card!
It's over.
Well...
..there is one thing left to do.
What?
We have to have sex.
Hang on. Like, now?
What, you don't want
to have sex with me?
No, I do. I absolutely
do.
Um... No, Auds, I just want...
There's something you need to know.
Um... I'm not so good at sex.
That's OK. I am.
Wait for it.
Wait.
"Bad dad"? Is that you?
You, isn't it? Oh,
God! Oh, do the face!
Do the face, please.
Yeah, just take a photo.
Yeah,
what's up?! What's up man?!
Thank you so much. No worries.
Hey, have a good one, guys.
Thank you. Have a good one.
Hey, gotta make time
for fans, right?
Oh, Marv. You know
you're a GIF now, right?
Hey, I'm not just a GIF. I'm
more of a local celebrity, OK?
And don't forget it.
Hey. Look. Is that
who I think it is?
Oh, my God.
Maybe he's already out of jail.
Or, well, maybe he broke out.
Go on. Aren't you
curious? Go talk to him.
Ed. Don't let him get away.
Go, go, go, go. Hey.
Hey. Hey, robber guy.
Hurry up. Hey, uh.. Sorry.
Sorry, not cutting in.
Sorry, not cutting in.
Oi! Seriously,
I'm not cutting in.
Hey! Hey!
What?
I knew it.
I knew it!
Ed?
Is that another card?
Captions by Red Bee Media
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation