The Mentalist (2008–2015): Season 7, Episode 12 - Brown Shag Carpet - full transcript

The fake psychic having been fond slaughtered, the team is reinforced by former CBI colleague Rick Tork. After a new murder suggests the serial killer is getting bolder, while maintaining his freaky quirks, Patrick agrees, reluctantly and despite Lisbon, to act as bait by starring cockily in a live radio show. One caller calling himself Lazarus proves knowing unpublished details, but when he's traced and identified as Joe Keller, his phone proves a trap. The diversion allowed Lazarus to hit Jane's car and capture him, to test his 'psychic' talent for a surprisingly pious, yet morbid purpose, which Patrick finds out. Wylie brilliantly researches the MO's macabre quirks and drags Cho along to track down suspects in the know.

Previously on "the mentalist"...
Patrick: I can't do this anymore.
You can't keep pulling me from the path of oncoming trains.
There's new trains coming every day.
Do you have information about the case?
My brother does. Gabriel. He's a psychic.
There's a thing inside you.
Your cure will come with the number three.
[ quacking ]
I didn't know where you were.
You knew i'd be back. No, i didn't.
There's a serial killer
With an evil heart and an appetite to kill.
I saw that the killer is going to kill again. Tonight.
Lisbon: Why would the killer care if gabriel was a real psychic?
Patrick: He wants one for some reason,
And gabriel didn't pass the test.
Susan: Could you just take a look?
Bill: He was sitting in the car, right?
The whole time i was putting out the trash,
He just sat there, staring at me.
They still haven't caught
That guy who killed those people.
It could be him. You don't know.
Serial killers don't sit in cars.
They lurk in the shadows.
Be right back.
[ insects chirping ]
[ button clicks ]
Hey.
Stupid drunk.
[ sizzling ]
Oh!
[ groans ]
Susan!
[ scoffs ]
Soos?!
Soos?!
[ birds chirping ]
Lisbon: What is this?
[ laughs ] did you buy me another horse?
Just a little further. Okay.
Hmm? Is this a trick?
Breathe that air in. Huh?
Okay, i'm breathing in that air.
And...Voilà.
Jane...What is this?
It's a little shack that i'm gonna renovate,
Make some additions.
We both knew things had to change.
I-i couldn't make you quit, and i need something to do.
So you're gonna build us a house. That's right.
And when i'm done, if nothing else,
We have a place to live.
It's a start.
So you're gonna work here, not -- not at the fbi.
You're quitting. Maybe. I-i don't know.
I haven't decided yet.
What?
I'm glad you got it. I am.
But... I have needs, too.
Like what?
I need to know that you're not gonna run away again.
I won't.
I need to know that you're committed to this, to us.
I-i am. That's why i want to do this.
Okay.
Then are you gonna take off your wedding ring?
It just -- it seems like you don't want to let go of it.
No, it's not that.
I-i understand why it's difficult for you.
I-it's just that i'm used to it.
I know. It -- [ cellphone ringing ]
Oh, s-sorry.
What's up, boss?
Abbott: Sorry, lisbon. I know you're on your way home.
But i need you to turn around.
We have another one.
[ police radio chatter ]
¶¶¶
The victim's name is susan herman.
Her husband reported her missing last night.
Apparently, the killer snatched her off her porch.
Lisbon: That's a change.
The pattern's the same otherwise --
Shot in the chest, one fingernail ripped off.
He didn't bother hiding the body.
Could mean he's getting bolder.
Or more playful.
Playful?
Well, sure. He knows we're on to him.
That's why he left her out for us to find.
He's also done something else.
What?
I'm not sure.
Uh, excuse me.
That mark on her left arm -- is that a puncture wound?
Looks like it.
Cho: Is that from a needle? Uh, little bigger.
Could be from an i.V. Line.
Why would he put an i.V. In her?
Uh, he's not poisoning them.
I don't think he was putting anything in.
More likely, he was taking something out.
Could be right. Position the body correctly,
You can take out a cup or more of blood with an i.V.
So he kills them, rips out a fingernail,
And takes a cup of blood.
And we're making every possible effort.
Thanks. All right, thanks for calling.
Everyone and his sister wants to know
When we're making an arrest.
Right. This is rick tork from the santa fe office.
He's gonna help out while we're short-handed.
Hey.
Dennis abbott. Thanks for coming.
So, how long were you in santa fe?
Uh, just a year.
I started out cbi, made the jump
To the federal side about the same time as cho.
And he's worked with jane before. Enough to know the score.
And what's that? He'll never tell you what he's up to,
Whatever he does, you'll look like an idiot.
And always keep your hand on your wallet.
Well, you do know the man.
I appreciate you coming tonight.
This case is blowing up.
I hear you have 10 bodies. Yeah, five were found buried,
Killed between two and nine months ago.
Two were killed in their car last week,
Gabriel osborne and his sister a few days after that,
And the woman today.
Wow. Any, uh, physical evidence?
Just the bullets -- they match,
But we haven't been able to trace them to a gun.
Tork, i heard you were here. It's good to see you.
You, too. Anything from the profilers?
Uh, they can't find any patterns in the killings.
Uh, the first two victims were homeless men,
The third was a prostitute.
The next ones were foreign-exchange students,
And then the couple in the car.
There's no consistency in age, race, or gender.
I don't think this is about who he killed
So much as what he killed for.
Hey, tork. Long time, no see.
Do you mean the blood and the fingernails?
Well, fingernails not so much.
I think they're just a gruesome trophy.
But the blood he had to work for.
He must need it for something.
Did any of the other victims have puncture wounds?
Uh, the recent ones, yes.
The buried victims, we couldn't tell.
The bodies had decomposed.
I think we can assume
He's been taking blood samples for some time.
The question is why.
There are some theories online.
The most popular theory is that he's a vampire of some sort.
Not sure if that's helpful.
Well, maybe it is. Really?
Well, he is stealing blood from a corpse.
He's got to be doing something weird with it.
So, he could be interested in the occult.
He believes in psychics. That's why he went after gabriel.
Talk to austin p.D., see if they have anything
On local cults and nontraditional religions.
Ask homeland security
If they have anything useful in their databases.
Well, if he's interested in psychics,
Jane should talk to him.
Uh...Not a psychic, dude.
No, but you can fake it, right?
We could feed you to the media,
Say that you can communicate with the afterlife
Using your spiritual whatever.
If he's really into that, we can get him to show himself.
The son of sam killer sent letters
To two of the writers who wrote about him.
Hey, this kind of thing could really work.
Did i... Say something wrong?
Yeah, the last time jane tried something like that,
It didn't go well.
Oh, the wife and kid.
Yeah, the wife and kid.
Hey, uh, i meant to tell you,
We got gabriel's autopsy reports back.
He had oligodendrogliomas --
They're tiny, little tumors in the brain.
According to the coroner, they can cause seizures,
Blackouts, or delusional episodes.
Poor kid. No wonder he thought he was psychic.
There's no such thing as psychics.
No.
I shouldn't have said anything about the ring. I'm sorry.
Teresa, please.
Really, look -- you do what you need to.
I'm okay, i swear.
[ knock on door ]
We just got a call from austin p.D.
They think they have the serial killer.
Did they arrest him?
The call said somebody shot him.
[ police radio chatter ]
[ sobbing ]
This does not seem right.
It's a false alarm. A case of mistaken identity.
This is sharon nieto, austin homicide.
The dead man is le kong vinh.
According to the neighbors,
He goes around collecting recyclables.
The homeowner was asleep
When he heard banging on the side of the house.
It was mr. Vinh going through his garbage,
But he didn't know that.
He thought somebody was trying to break in,
So he grabs his trusty .38.
Homeowner issued a challenge through the door.
Just heard more banging.
And vinh didn't speak english.
That's right.
So he fires through the door, calls us,
Says he shot a serial killer.
Is that the victim's wife?
Yeah. I guess they were collecting the bottles together.
Are you guys gonna catch this whack job anytime soon?
People are freaked out.
We're getting calls all day.
Is your department logging all the calls?
Sure. Then we need that log.
Abbott: Ah, it's a tough situation.
The city is in a full-on panic, and we have no solid leads.
Okay, well, uh... Do we try tork's idea?
What? No. I don't think that we can rule anything out.
Boss.
The guy is not hiding bodies anymore.
You know, maybe he's starting to --
To like the attention.
Do you want him to do to jane what he did to gabriel?
Now, you know we won't let that happen.
You can't promise that! Patrick: Y-you know what?
I appreciate your spirited defense,
But it -- it's not necessary.
I'll do it.
Okay.
According to state forestry officials,
Once the bear was tranquilized,
He was relocated to a wilderness area.
And now an update from our accuweather desk.
I'm gonna say this one last time. You don't have to do this.
I know.
Coming up, a psychic who's working with the fbi.
You're watching "austin today." stay with us.
We're out. Back in 60. [ bell rings ]
[ indistinct conversations ]
Oh, you've done this before?
Yep.
All right, i'm gonna throw you a couple easy questions,
We'll have some fun, just keep the ball in the air.
Sure. Back in 10.
5, 4, 3...
Welcome back to "austin today."
I'm dan glover, and with me is patrick jane,
A psychic who works with the fbi.
I'd like to talk about how you're helping
To hunt for the man who's believed to have murdered
A number of our local citizens,
But first i have to ask... What is a psychic?
What is it you do?
Patrick?
Patrick? Yeah, dan, sorry, i was distracted.
Um, there's something on your mind.
Your wife, uh...Just had a baby -- a girl, i believe.
Who told you that?
You did.
Uh, her -- her name begins with a vowel, "a," "e," "a" --
Alexan-- a-- alexa, right?
That's...Right.
So that's how you do it, huh?
That's how i do it, dan. Congratulations.
Thank you.
Your aunt...
Passed away about a-a year ago.
18 months.
She used to help people.
She was a teacher, i think.
Yes -- well, a counselor.
We didn't tell him any of this, swear to god.
She really wants you to be happy
Because she loves you... Very much.
[ inhales deeply ] that's it.
I-i can't tell you how uncanny this is.
I-i'm shivering. [ chuckles ]
So, tell us about this case you're working on with the fbi.
I'm not a detective. I don't do police work.
I'm just trying to help my colleagues understand this man.
How would you describe him?
Well, cautiously, i would say that he's obviously angry,
Probably in a lot of pain,
But i think he's trying to get in touch
With someone from the other side.
What makes you say that?
Who isn't?
[ exhales sharply ]
We have a call from anna marie in pflugerville.
Anna marie, what's your question?
Hey. Anna marie: Hi.
What's up? Uh, abbott sent me. You can get out of here.
I'll take jane home when he's done.
Oh, no, i'm okay.
No, forget it. You're beat. Go home.
All right.
...About 14 months ago.
It was shortly after my mother died.
Well, i was at home alone, and i went into the room where my...
[ insects chirping ]
[ alarm chirps ]
We have another call here from...
Hmm. Lazarus, welcome to the show.
Lazarus. Interesting name.
Lazarus: He rose from the dead.
So i hear.
What's your question, lazarus?
What else do you know about the man the fbi is hunting?
Well, i can't tell you everything i know.
Why not? Well, it's an ongoing investigation.
The case is still open. Why are you interested?
Do you have information on the man?
You're the one who knows everything.
I never said that.
No, but you claim to be in contact with his spirit.
Boss, you hearing this? If you're telling the truth...
Yes, we are.
Wylie, how long until you trace the call?
I'm gonna need another minute.
Make sure jane keeps him talking, okay?
Lazarus: If you're not, why would the police want your help?
I get the feeling that you know more
About this case than you're saying.
If that's so, you should probably share.
Why?
So we can catch him.
What if i don't want him gone?
Oh, why would you feel that way?
I spoke to someone like you once before.
Really? Who?
He was a complete fake.
You could practically see it written on him.
We didn't release what was written on gabriel's body.
Nobody knows that except us and the killer.
That's our guy. That's our guy.
Uh, what's that address?
Hmm, interesting. What?
He's not calling from a cellphone.
He's calling from a landline -- normal phone.
Okay, that's the address, right? Yeah.
Call downstairs. We need backup.
[ keyboard clacking ]
When we left, you suggested that you dealt with
Another psychic who wasn't on the up-and-up.
Are you a skeptic now?
No, i believe in spirits very much,
Just not everybody who claims to be in touch with them.
Any spirits in particular?
You tell me. Who haunts you?
Me? Uh, nobody.
There must be spirits in your life.
Well, fortunately, they leave me alone.
[ guns cock ]
You still haven't told me
Whose spirit you're trying to connect with.
Have to go now. Bye. Hold on.
Lazarus? Hello?
Seems the caller has gone.
We're gonna take a minute for a station i.D.
We'll be right back with "night talk" on kpqc.
[ cellphone vibrating ]
Abbott, what's happening?
Something's wrong. He's not here.
He rigged the phone. We don't know where he is.
I don't know what he's doing, but i don't like it.
You and tork get out of there and head back to the office.
We'll meet you there. Okay.
Cho called. He said --
Yeah, i heard. Let's go.
Hey, we're doing a show. Hey!
[ insects chirping ]
What happened to you?
I was listening. You got caught off.
Yeah, the call was a ruse. He's planning something.
You need to get back to the office as soon as you can.
Did you leave the door of the airstream open this morning?
No. Maybe. W-why?
It's open. Okay, stop.
Don't go anywhere near it.
Don't do anything until someone else gets there.
That could take forever. I'm gonna check it out.
Yeah, fine, but you're not hanging up.
Jane. We have to go.
Just...
Jane.
Teresa, what's going on?
Lisbon: [ sighs ] there's nobody in here.
I guess we left it open.
Okay, get back to the office.
All right, i'll see you there. [ beep ]
Let's go.
Thank you for coming in. An hour and a half ago,
Two agents were attacked by a man
Who we believe is responsible for 10 murders in the past year.
This man.
Agent richard tork is in the hospital.
I've been told that he's gonna be all right.
Patrick jane, however, has been abducted by this man
And is still being held,
So as of right now, no one goes home.
No one takes a nap or a coffee break
Until patrick jane is returned and this man is arrested.
Agent cho will have your assignments.
[ indistinct whispering ]
[ clears throat ]
We found the truck parked a few blocks away.
We assume the suspect switched vehicles.
All right, we need a team to sweep
Security and traffic cameras in the area.
Elias, that's yours.
We also need fingerprint and dna evidence from the truck.
Merrick. You warned me. I didn't listen, and i am sorry.
...Your assignments, please.
He could have killed jane, but he took him,
So that means he wants something,
And there is no one better
At exploiting a situation like that than jane.
I hope you're right.
[ keys jingling ]
[ lock turns ]
[ door creaks ]
[ switch clicks ]
[ door closes ]
[ lock turns ]
[ keys jingling ]
[ breathing heavily ]
Water?
No, thanks.
Suit yourself.
You know who i am?
Lazarus. That's right.
You expect me to call you that?
Don't be funny.
Well, you're the one that came up with the name.
[ chuckles ]
Interesting place.
Could do with a little update.
I saw you on tv.
You said you know things...
...Hear things.
Prove it.
It doesn't work like that.
You did it on tv.
Different circumstances.
You know, you can't just -- you can't just make it happen.
The other one said something like that.
You know who i mean? Sure.
So, i tested him.
He was a liar. Are you a liar?
No.
Prove it.
[ indistinct conversations ]
Hi.
Tork, please, go home.
I'm okay. This isn't your fault.
Any of us had been there, same thing would have happened.
Yeah, but...I was there.
I'll be at my desk.
I might have something. What?
Jane said the killer was probably doing something weird
With the blood he took, right?
So, i've been looking into
Local black magic and occult connections.
Find anything? Too much.
It's hard to find someone
Who doesn't sound like a serial killer.
But one place keeps cropping up --
A bookstore called "the grimoire."
"the grim" what?
Grimoire. It's a magical textbook.
Yeah, a lot of people interested in the stuff go there.
Maybe the killer did, too.
It seemed worth checking out.
It's only three miles from where the bodies were buried.
Wylie, most of austin
Is three miles from where the bodies were buried.
We appreciate the effort, but it sounds thin,
And we don't have the time to waste.
Jane would go.
He'd say, "do the usual thing, you get the usual result,"
Which, in this case, is him dead.
Okay, wylie. Let's go check it out.
This is your father's house, not yours.
A spirit tell you that?
No, the furniture.
Your mother died when you were very young.
You were raised by your father.
He was strict...
But you feel now that you deserved it,
He was right to punish you.
Who's telling you that?
It's what i'm getting from you.
What else?
You didn't have any friends when you were a kid.
You usually ate alone,
Not because people wouldn't sit with you,
But because you were disgusted
By the sounds they made when they ate.
Sometimes, other people don't feel real to you.
They're like robots wearing human skin.
What do i do for a living?
You're an exterminator.
Yet, again, it doesn't feel real.
It's like a movie being projected on a screen.
That's impressive.
Thank you.
But i don't need to know about me.
I want contact with another.
I don't sense any spirits here.
You're wrong. The spirit is here.
If you don't know that, then you're a fraud.
No, i'm not. Just the like the other one.
I'm not a fraud. You're a liar and a cheat.
You take it easy.
[ cellphone ringing ]
[ beep ]
Hello?
No, ma'am. The job's finished.
No.
No, it's -- okay.
I'll address that. I'll be right over.
[ beep ]
[ sniffs ]
I'll be back.
Hey. What?
Uh, i could -- i could use that water.
Thank you.
[ keys jingling ]
[ grunts ]
[ clicking ]
[ grunts ]
[ bell jingles ]
"keh-lis" weir?
"kee-lis"? Yes
We're with the fbi.
[ door closes ] forget it.
I'm not collaborating with religious persecutors.
What persecutors?
We just want to ask some questions.
You say that, then you start in
With your western morality.
Not fooling me twice.
What do you mean?
A while back, some guy comes in, starts...
Asking about santeria.
I tell him some friends are performing a ritual.
Oh, he shows up...
With 10 cops, arrests everybody for animal abuse.
Animal abuse?
People cut up a million chickens a day.
They put testicle-sized chunks
In a fryer, call it commerce.
My friends...Use one for an ancient and sacred ritual,
And i go to jail?
Hey, you're just all a bunch of judeo-christian,
Jackbooted thugs as far as i'm concerned.
Wylie, this is a waste of time.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Kelis has a point.
She was duped. That isn't fair.
Yeah. So?
So, maybe we can help you.
How?
If you talk to us, just answer some questions,
We'll lean on austin p.D. To reduce your charges,
Maybe drop them.
Why would they do that?
The serial-killer case we're working on,
The mayor, austin p.D. -- They want him in custody fast.
If you help us make the arrest, they'll owe us,
And we can use that to help you.
He's right.
What do you want to know?
We're looking for someone who uses blood.
A lot of people do that. What kind of blood?
Human blood.
Okay, that's different.
Those people do not come in here.
I'm a little too vanilla for them.
Where do they go? The web mostly.
There's a site called blackmore.
Hard-cores -- they go there.
I've been looking. I haven't found that one.
That's because you got to go deep web.
You can't even find the site without the i.P.
Can you give that to us?
You're really gonna talk to austin p.D.?
You're really gonna help me? Yes.
Give me a minute.
It's not bad, huh?
[ doorknob rattles ]
[ sniffs ]
[ door creaks ]
[ switch clicks ]
Ohh!
The blackmore site is huge.
It's the ebay of the deeply weird.
There are sections on vampirism, self-vivisection.
Self-vivisection? Yeah.
Cutting yourself open. Okay.
How does this help us find jane?
Well, there's also a section on blood sorcery --
Magical things you can do with blood.
Now, you're supposed to use your own blood.
But 15 months ago, there was a discussion
On harvesting blood from other people.
About 20 people were involved.
Why would you harvest blood?
Because you need a lot.
15 months ago -- that was right around the time
Our guy made his first kill.
He could be one of those people. Can we get their names?
Well, the screen names they used are all super-protected.
However, i was able to dig one out --
A guy named alan saltonstall,
A college professor in san marcos.
Let's go pick him up. Sure.
What do they do with the blood?
A couple of things, but the one that gets
The most discussion is a ritual that binds a spirit.
Bind? How? If you have a corpse,
You can bind the spirit of a dead person
By giving blood to their body.
That way, the spirit never leaves.
Where are we with the search warrant?
It's on its way to the judge right now.
Is that saltonstall? Yeah.
Well, why isn't somebody talking to him?
He requested an attorney. He's on his way now.
This guy could be torturing jane right now.
We don't have time for this.
I'm sorry, lisbon. Let me talk to him.
Look, the guy's lawyering up.
Let me talk to him.
Okay.
[ sighs ] i already told him
I won't say anything without my lawyer present.
I don't care.
You're hiding something.
What?
I never would have noticed something like this before,
But i've been working for a very long time
With somebody who's good at seeing into people,
What they're thinking, feeling.
I can tell there's something
You're worried we're gonna find out about you.
That's ridiculous!
I'm guessing it has something to do with the black magic,
Something violent or sexual, maybe both.
But judging by how freaked out you are,
I'd say it's something really bad.
I am not freaked out, and my interests,
Such as they are, are purely academic.
I don't know what you think you're doing -- shut up.
I don't care what kind of kinky stuff you're in to.
I have a friend who's in danger,
And maybe you can help save him.
It's possible he's being held by somebody
From that blood group of yours.
I want their names.
I don't know any names. It's an online community, and --
I shouldn't even be talking to you.
You're lying. I can tell. You have names.
You've met them, some of them.
I don't think you understand
How important this is to me.
You give me a name, you can walk out that door right now.
You don't, and i will dig up every dirty secret you have!
You'll what?
I will tell everybody you know --
Your co-workers, your friends, your family.
You are not gonna be able to hide!
Y-you're threatening me?
It's not a threat. It's a promise.
You -- you can't! That's -- that's illegal.
My boss is right back there. Tell him.
Get me fired. Ruin my career. I don't care.
I want those names.
He gave me eight names. He says he can't remember the rest.
Good work.
How do we know he's not the killer?
We checked his credit-card statements.
He was out of the country for two of the murders.
Okay, we'll go out in pairs, and i'll text you the names.
Track them down. See if they're connected to the killings.
If you find a live one,
Let the rest of the team know fast.
[ lock turns ]
[ keys jingling ]
[ lock turns ]
Joe.
He's here, your father -- big joe.
That's who you want to get in touch with, right?
He says thank you for keeping him,
For taking care of him.
The passing over was hard, but now he's good.
His back doesn't hurt anymore.
He feels better now than he ever did
When dr. Hannigan was feeding him his meds.
There's doubt in you.
No. I-i mean --
Put it aside.
If -- if you doubt, then i lose the connection with him.
I won't be able to communicate with him.
Okay.
He says there's a lake...
A lake rickasee?
Pickasee.
Pickasee.
He didn't catch a fish that day. No.
No, you -- you caught a fish, a small one.
Daddy?
He wants to know why you're keeping him here.
There's something in me...
A voice.
And when it starts, i can't ignore it.
I can't think about anything else until i go out...
Find someone...
And then it goes away again...
For a while.
Is that your voice, daddy?
Is that you in me?
Are you sending me out?
Am i doing this for you?
He's saying something.
What?
Like...
It's not clear.
It's not. No?
Yeah, i'm -- i'm s-- i'm sorry.
I -- he's -- he's gone.
Get him back.
[ sighs ] i can't.
I need -- i need...An hour.
Get him back.
I need an hour. I just -- i need to -- i need to rest.
This is how this works.
[ scoffs ]
Hey, can i have some of that gum, please?
Thank you.
[ keys jingling ]
[ lock turns ]
[ door creaks ]
[ switch clicks ]
[ blows ]
[ gas hissing ]
We're looking for a man named joseph keller jr.
According to our records, his last known address
Was in an apartment building that you manage, ms. Martinez.
But then he moved out. Hmm.
Yeah, keller -- weird guy.
Yeah, i think he moved like two years ago.
Did he leave a forwarding address?
No. I think he said something about his dad being sick.
Can you remember anything else about him, where he worked?
Some exterminator company.
Do you know the name of the company or the address?
Maybe -- i think he sent me an e-mail about it,
Wanted me to hire him.
You want me to look for it?
That would be wonderful, thank you. Okay.
I know it's in here.
[ knock on glass ]
While you're looking for that,
We're just gonna step outside.
Okay.
Any news? Not yet, sorry.
But i did find out something weird about keller.
What?
Not keller jr., but his father, joseph keller sr.
15 years ago, there was a string of killings in the area.
Local p.D. Took a hard look at keller sr.,
Really liked him for them,
But they only had a circumstantial case,
Never found any conclusive physical evidence.
Keller's father was a serial killer.
Sounds like it. What happened to him?
I don't know. Case went cold. Two or three years ago, he falls off the map.
He had a house not too far out of town, near lake pickasee.
You check out the house.
I'll wait until she finds a work address and head over there. Good.
[ lock turns ]
It's been an hour.
He's here.
He -- what?
He came back when you were gone.
He wants to talk to you. He's in there.
He wants to talk to me?
That's right.
If you want answers, they're in that room.
You can go in or not. It's up to you.
Do you smell gas?
No.
[ coughs ]
[ coughing ] [ gas hissing ]
[ sniffs ]
[ cracking ]
[ grunts ]
Jane?
Jane, are you in here?
[ pounding ]
Jane? Are you here?
Jane?!
[ coughing ]
Jane. Hey.
Can you stand up?
Come on. Let's get you up.
[ gasps ] oh, i got you.
[ coughing ]
Come on.
[ coughs ]
Don't you ever do that to me again, ever.
[ ducks quacking ]
Woman: And sign here... Patrick: Mm-hmm.
...And here... And here...
There.
...And here.
Okay. Yeah. That's it.
It's all yours.
Now, usually this is where i hand over the keys,
But there aren't any.
[ both laugh ]
Congratulations. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You're very welcome.
Bye. Bye-bye.
[ birds chirping ]
[ indistinct conversations ]
You agent tork?
Yeah. You guys done looking around in there?
'cause we're just sitting on our hands out here.
There's nothing we could find. It's a mess in there.
But the structure's sound. Your people can go in. Have fun.
Thanks.
All right, listen up.
It's been reported there are two bodies
In the basement of this house.
There may also be evidence
Pertaining to as many as 10 homicides committed
By the recently deceased individual known as lazarus,
Real name joseph keller.
We want to put these cases to bed,
So that means break out the fine-toothed combs.
Let's go.
[ exhales sharply ]
[ birds chirping ]
How's your head?
Oh, hey. Hi.
It's fine.
Ears are still ringing a little,
But, uh, just getting ready for the remodel.
I brought sandwiches. Those are the magic words.
Come with me.
[ insects chirping ]
Is it me, or does it seem like
The house slants a little bit to the left?
Optical illusion.
You're not wearing your wedding ring.
I'm not married.
The ground is slanty, so it makes the structure look
Like it's leaning, but it is, in fact, not.
It's just an optical illusion.
Slanty, huh?
Yeah. Technical term.
This ring has been with me for a very long time, and, uh...
...It has obvious significance with my past.
It also represents...
...Meeting you.
If i didn't have this ring, i would never have met you.
So in a sense, uh...
It has the potential to represent my future, as well.
And i-i'm not expecting you would ever wear it,
But i want to share it with you,
And...
...I want it to represent our future...Together.
I want you to be my wife.
Will you marry me?
Okay. [ laughs ]
Yes, yes. [ laughs ]
Yes? Excellent.
[ laughs ]
I'm glad that's dealt with. I was a little nervous.
Oh, come on. You knew i was gonna say yes.
No, even after all these years, you're still a mystery to me.
Oh, yeah? [ chuckles ] thank you.
Hey, guys, how's the lazarus case going?
Keller's house is being processed right now.
Tork's on the scene. We're just squaring away the paperwork.
Oh, good. Good, good, good.
All right.
Do you guys need anything? Can i help?
Mm...No, not really.
Look, you know, old job's over.
New job hasn't begun.
You know, i'm just spinning my wheels here. [ chuckles ]
[ knock on door ]
Hey. Hey, guys.
So, um...We wanted you to be the first to know.
Um...Yeah.
We're getting married.
Hey! [ laughter ]
I told you. No, you didn't.
Congratulations.
Oh, man! That's wonderful.
That's awesome. When's the big day? Thank you.
Eh, no big day. I don't want any wedding fuss.
Oh, we're just gonna slip away quietly
In the next couple of days.
All right. [ chuckles ]
¶ it's not unusual to be loved by anyone ¶
¶ it's not unusual to have fun with anyone ¶
¶ but when i see you hanging around with anyone ¶
¶ it's not unusual to see me cry ¶
¶ i want to die ¶
[ groans ]
¶ it's not unusual to go out anytime ¶
Woman: Hi. How are you? Woman #2: Good. How are you?
Good. [ cash register whirring ]
¶ but when i see you out and about, it's such a crime ¶ [ indistinct conversation ]
¶ if you should ever want to be loved by anyone ¶ [ sighs ]
Thank you. Have a nice day. Thank you.
¶ it's not unusual, it happens every day ¶
[ bell jingles ]
Oh, my lord. Sir?
I'm good. [ sighs ]
That darn barbecue, i swear.
[ sniffs ]
These are two for one, right?
Yay! Hey-hey! Hey! That's awesome!
Yeah!
Hey, even this guy's happy about it, right?
Whoo! Yeah, congrats.
[ baby cries ] whoa!
Oh, hi!
Hey. Hey! Congratulations!
Somebody went number two.
Thanks. Ohh, yeah. All right.
Uh, so, anyway, did you tell -- uh, did you tell tommy yet?
Eh, he's chasing a bail jumper in alaska.
I left him a message.
Eh, well, you snooze, you lose.
We're gonna miss him at the bachelor party, though.
There is no bachelor party.
We're getting married the day after tomorrow,
Just me and jane and the justice of the peace.
No big wedding, no guests.
Uh...Oh.
But...Family, right?
Yeah, family. [ chuckling ] yeah.
No, it's just us. We want to get married quietly.
Well, so, we'll be quiet.
But we're gonna be there, t. I mean, no argument.
Hey, stan, hold it. It's her deal, her choice.
You know, she wants to do it that way,
Then let her do it. What are you saying, you mook?
Guys, come on.
If we're not there, mom's gonna spin in her grave
Like a freaking crankshaft. Oh, my god.
She'll be crying for shame
That our sister, our only sister --
Oh, would you can it, please, stan?
Teresa just said she don't us there.
Why would you want to be there
If she doesn't want us there? I mean --
You're a sad, bitter man, jimmy lisbon.
Well, i-i smile through it. Don't you ever --
I smile through the sadness.
Stop it. He's doing it again.
I got stronger, though. Ever since he was a little kid --
Ohh! It's just -- it cuts to the airflow!
Yeah.
Don't worry.
Don't worry about what?
You're worried that i'm gonna be upset
Because you invited your brothers to our marriage.
How did you know that?
When we're married,
Do you think you might stop asking that question?
It's okay, isn't it? They're family.
Thank you. It means a lot to them.
Of course.
[ sighs ] since my brothers are coming,
It feels... Funny not to invite
Just a couple of members from the team.
No, no. You know what? You're right.
We should keep it small -- small. Just my brothers.
Eh, fine. Invite away.
We're gonna need a few more guests
Just to dilute the alcohol content. Thank you.
Just three or four, though.
Where do we draw the line?
Well, that's why we decided not to invite anyone.
I know. I know. I'm sorry.
It's just -- here we are.
[ laughs ] here we are.
What? [ laughing ]
Oh, look, i'm just gonna surrender to fate, all right?
So be it. Big, huge, massive wedding.
No, just 8 or 9 very close friends
At the courthouse -- 9 or 10,
And then we can go to o'malley's bar afterwards.
12 tops.
Or we could go to a restaurant. No big deal.
It's not like we're hiring a caterer.
We don't have a gift registry or anything. Sure. Okay.
Where are you going? Well, i have to get you a ring.
I already have one.
That is for us.
You need one for you.
I do? You do.
All right, well, shouldn't i come with you?
Isn't that how you're supposed to do it?
No, i think we'll waste time bickering.
Besides, i have better taste.
You think you do. You'll see.
N-nothing too gauche.
Bye!
Hey, boss. Hey.
[ laughs ] the less i have to do, the more coffee i drink.
So, do you and lena want to come and watch us get married?
Oh. Uh, lena went to a trade conference in prague,
But, uh...You know, i'd be honored.
I thought you guys weren't having any guests.
Well, we kind of changed our minds.
It's just gonna be a few people -- a dozen, 15.
All right. I'm there. Where and when?
We don't know yet. It's nothing fancy.
Oh, well, you have to have it at our house. I insist.
We have the perfect spot for a casual wedding. Really?
Hmm. I'd be thrilled.
That is so nice of you.
[ chuckles ]
What's up? Some surprise, huh?
I didn't see the wedding thing coming.
It wasn't that hard to guess.
Something on your mind?
No.
Actually, yes.
Someone might get in touch with you
About me requesting a transfer.
I just wanted you to hear it from me first.
A transfer where? Salt lake.
Office there is starting a cyber-crime initiative.
They're looking for people.
It's desk work, but it's more my speed, i think.
Uh, let's face it, i didn't do that well
When we were going after keller.
It's not easy being in the bullpen.
Michelle's desk is right there, and...
Anyway, i think a change of pace would be good.
Plus, you're gonna be rebuilding the team.
This will pretty much give you a blank slate.
Come here.
What? Come here.
Ow!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
No, i'm not. You are.
You made some mistakes going after keller?
Welcome to the club. I bat .300 on a good day.
You miss vega.
Now remember who she was.
She'd never run away from a challenge like this,
And neither should you.
[ sighs ] and you're right.
I have to rebuild the team,
And i want to start with people that i know and trust.
So stick around.
Or what, you'll hit me again?
I'm asking you to stay, wylie.
Okay.
Okay, good.
Check in with tork.
I want to know what's going on at the house.
Sure.
And cho...
Thanks.
No problem.
This is the ring we sent you a picture of.
It was my grandmother's.
Anne's dad gave it to me to propose with.
Which is sweet, but it's not really me, you know?
So we thought maybe we could take the diamond out,
Put it in a necklace or something.
Of course. Uh, may i -- may i see it?
Oh, yeah.
Uh, let me get my loupe.
We'll just need to take a closer look at the stone.
Excuse me, sir.
I'm helping another customer right now, sir.
Fbi -- give them back their ring right now,
Or i will be forced to shoot you.
Don't worry. Just kidding.
I don't even carry a real gun.
I have a lot of close friends that do, though.
What's happening?
All will be revealed. Their ring is in your right hand.
Uh, sir, you've made a mistake.
We've got the ring right here.
Uh, that's a replica.
A...Replica?
He did a french drop to swap the valuable ring
With a cheap replica.
French drop is a sleight-of-hand move. Not important.
That ring never belonged to your grandmother,
And it's not a real diamond.
Is that true? Of course not.
He would study the ring that he just gave you,
Then break the sad news that your grandma's ring is a phony,
And you'd be none the wiser.
[ laughs ] this is insane.
Then you won't mind opening up your right hand, will you?
Open up your right hand, please, sir.
Holy moly.
Well, thank you for your assistance, folks.
I'll take it from here.
Uh...
Don't worry, ma'am. The real ring is in your hand.
Good day to you.
Thank you. My pleasure.
So, my crooked friend, today is your lucky day.
Is it? [ door closes ]
Well, on a normal day, you'd be off to the pokey now.
But as it happens...I'm in the market for a diamond ring.
Oh. Oh.
So show me your very best selection, please.
And, sir, if i see any glass... The cuffs will come out.
Nothing too gauche.
[ knock on door ]
What's up?
Tork just called in from the crime scene.
No intact corpses in the basement,
But a lot of body parts, badly burned and fragmented.
Have them rush the dna tests.
Pull some strings if you have to.
Why the rush? Still got a lot of media interest.
The bosses want to be able to announce we got the guy.
For that, we need a coroner's report, so let's get on it.
Okay, right away.
Hey, did abbott give you the news? Hey.
We're having a real wedding at his house.
He did.
You're gonna be there, right? Of course.
I could use your help with something
If you're not too busy.
What's that?
[ sighs ]
What do you think?
Makes you look short.
Snow cone.
Slutty elf.
You want a simple piece with clean lines,
Maybe something vintage and off-white.
What he said.
Thank you for doing this.
I asked you along 'cause i thought you'd be honest.
I had no idea you were such a fashion expert.
Not me.
My mom could run up a designer gown before breakfast,
Cut her cloth by eye. Cool.
My mom had a sewing machine, but it was always in hock.
She'd be very proud of you.
Looking like this?
Very proud.
Thank you, kimball.
[ insects chirping ]
All right, good night, wade,
And, uh, tell shaniqua i said thanks for the fan mail.
[ keys jingle ]
[ sighs ]
[ alarm chirps ]
[ chuckles ]
Excuse me.
I-i don't have any change, man.
Oh, hey, hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay.
Uh [clears throat] hello. You can take it.
You can take it. Here. Get in the car.
Do as i say, and you won't get hurt.
[ engine turns over ]
[ insects chirping ]
Keller: Stop the vehicle.
Very slowly. No one gets hurt.
Put the car in park and get out.
[ gear clicks ]
Easy.
[ seat belt clicks ]
Easy.
Give me your phone.
All right.
No problems.
What's the passcode?
There isn't any.
Wallet.
Look, uh, i only got about 20 bucks in it.
And, uh... [ clears throat ]
Would you let me keep my driver's license?
I-i don't want to have to go to the dmv.
Sure.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Thank you.
[ thud ] [ scream ]
No! No! No! [ grunting ]
No! No! No!
[ screams ]
[ gasping ]
[ dialing ]
[ telephone rings ]
Tork.
Patrick jane, please.
Um, sorry. He's not in.
This is dan glover from "austin today."
I interviewed jane recently about this whole lazarus case.
Sure. I remember you.
I just want to do a quick follow-up. Is he available?
I'm afraid, uh, you're gonna have to wait a few days on that.
He's out of the office for a while.
Can you tell me where i can find him?
It'll only take a few moments.
I'd say he's pretty unfindable at the moment.
He's getting married in a few days.
Married? Yeah.
I can, uh, take a message, tell him you called.
No, no need.
Okeydoke.
[ beep ]
Huh.
Woman: Sign right there.
Oh, if i just remembered how tedious
This aspect of the marriage is,
I might not have asked you. Shush.
No, seriously. I'm only on page two.
You know, i could just give you the ring and we could elope.
Don't be mean. No take-backs.
I could give you this,
And we could be in fiji by nightfall.
There are people coming. We are getting married, damn it.
Suit yourself.
You got a ring? Yes, i did.
Mm. You gonna show it to me?
You want to see it? Show me.
Uh, unh-unh, unh.
I'll take this, and you'll fill all of this out.
[ indistinct conversation ]
[ snorts, laughs ] oh, my god.
It's not real. You scared me. It's funny.
Of course it's real.
It's real? Real.
Oh, my -- are you out of your mind?
You like it?
Well, it's gorgeous, but it's too much.
I-i can't accept it.
You can accept it, and you will.
It's yours. I want you to have it.
What is the justice of the peace's name?
Emily hamilton.
"emily hamilton." oh, my...
All right, let's file this sucker.
All right.
We'll need confirmation that the ceremony's been performed
Within 72 hours, or you will need to refile.
Congratulations.
Who said romance is dead?
I can't take this.
No, not yet you can't.
Well, at least let me try it on.
Not yet. We don't even know if it fits!
[ elevator bell dings ]
Lisbon, hi.
Yes! Wylie, did we invite you yet?
No, not yet. Well, here it is.
Abbott's house, 12:00 saturday.
But try not to spread it around.
We want to keep it small,
And i don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
I got you. Is there a gift registry?
Uh, no gifts.
Is there a trousseau?
I don't know. What is that exactly?
Never mind.
Y-you're coming back to work, right? Here?
[ laughs ] yeah, i think so.
Why are you whispering?
Lisbon, hey. Someone's trying to reach you?
[ chuckling ] oh, my god.
Hey, boss. Hi.
I'll talk to you guys later, okay?
It is so good to see you guys.
Right back at you. [ chuckles ]
Well, the news is spreading fast through the cbi grapevine.
It's true, isn't it?
It's true.
Oh, well, we had to call and say congratulations.
So, you and jane, huh? We always knew.
We always knew? I always knew.
How are the kids?
Uh, sticky, mostly. The kids are great.
I know it's short notice, but you guys have got to
Come out for the wedding. It's saturday.
Oh, my gosh, of course. We'd love to.
It will take a little child-care juggling,
But we can swing it. You know, worst comes to worst,
We'll just bring the little monkeys with us
And keep them locked in the rental car. [ scoffs ] will not.
I'm kidding. Child: Mommy!
[ laughs ] [ groans ]
No, but seriously, we wouldn't miss it for anything. Mommy!
I got to go. We'll see you soon.
All right, i'll send you the details.
Great. Take care.
[ indistinct conversations ]
[ telephone ringing ]
Okay, you guys are all set.
It should be in the mail three to five days.
Thanks.
[ pen clicks ]
[ keyboard clacking ]
Excuse me. I need to fill out a marriage license.
Um, usually there's two of you.
She's running late. I'll get started.
Okay, well, uh, paperwork is in the end tray.
Just fill that out.
We need both of you here, plus i.D.
I see. Will do, thanks.
[ telephone ringing ]
City clerk's office. Please hold.
Thanks for holding. Yes, how may i help you?
No, ma'am. You can't file online.
Until 6:00, but we're closed -- okay, bye.
You're welcome.
Looks like she stood me up.
Bad omen for a wedding, huh?
Abbott.
Can i run something by you?
Yeah, shoot.
Spot dna test came back from the keller house.
So far, all the recovered body parts
Belong to joe sr. -- None for jr.
They found his gun, but not him.
[ sighs ] oh, damn.
It could be that he was at the epicenter of the explosion
And was vaporized, but there's a strong possibility
That keller, a.K.A. Lazarus, is still alive.
Damn.
I let austin p.D. Know, and we're putting out a bolo
To all the local hospitals.
Wylie's putting together a k.A. List,
And i'm gonna have agents set up shop at all of them.
Well, did you put out a wire just in case --
He runs for the border, yeah.
All right, well, it seems like
You have everything handled.
I don't know if i should tell jane and lisbon.
Good question. Yeah.
I wouldn't.
We don't have enough to be sure.
And, you know, they're in a good space right now.
If lisbon found out that this case isn't closed,
It's likely that she'll cancel the wedding
And join the hunt.
Yeah, there's plenty of time to tell them after.
But...If he's still alive, you know,
Keller's unpredictable, and jane did try to kill him.
You know, just in case,
Why don't we put some bodies at the wedding,
Just to keep an eye out.
And it's my house, so i'll arrange it.
You sure?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something to keep me busy.
Okay, thanks.
Abbott said it's totally up to you,
But that you'd probably prefer to hold the ceremony outside,
And there isn't really a room inside big enough.
Well, how many people are we talking about?
Oh! A lot of people are talking about it.
Well, we only invited like 15 people.
Mm...More like 25 or -- i know.
And i don't think people are waiting for, like,
A printed invitation... Seeing as there isn't one.
But, hey, o-on the plus side, you're popular, girl!
Is that what all these tables are for?
Yeah, abbott thought they'd be useful. Don't worry.
He's covering the rental...
And the bartender... And the caterer.
I guess they're his wedding gift. I don't know.
Hey, here's a menu.
There's a caterer? Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
Abbott's loaded. I mean, look at this house.
I think his wife cleaned up in the private sector.
Wow.
Here we are. Hey, everybody out.
Hey, teresa! Hey!
We're here! Hey-hey!
T! [ laughter ]
Hi! [ chuckling ] wow!
You all came! So many people.
Yeah, hey. Sure we came. We're gonna let our sister down?
[ laughter ]
Congratulations. Thanks.
Yeah, hey, guys, say hi to your aunt teresa, all right?
Hi! Hi!
Who is this?
Oh, t, this is lucy, my fiancée. Aah!
Lucy, teresa.
I am so freaked out to meet you at last.
We're gonna be sisters! Yay!
Yay!
It's a long story. [ chuckles ]
So, you're all here. Welcome to austin.
Thanks. Yeah, it looks like we brought the weather with us.
Fbi! [ laughs ]
Sorry, i'm freaking out right now. [ laughs ]
Yeah, we got that. Excuse me?
You all came.
Yeah. Already said that, t. Jason: Let's go in!
Jason! Jason! Come here! Yeah! Okay.
Congratulations. Thank you.
[ chuckles ] yay.
[ indistinct shouting ]
[ sighs ]
[ knock on door ]
Uh, excuse me, sir.
We have an odd coincidence...
Or not. Maybe.
Austin p.D. Got a missing-person's report
On a local television reporter named dan glover.
The one that interviewed jane.
Yeah, left work thursday night, hasn't been seen since.
The weird thing is, he called here
Right around the time he was last seen. I spoke to him.
He said he wanted to interview jane again,
And i said he was unavailable
Because he was getting...Married.
So, you're not even sure if you spoke to glover?
No, i mean, i was certain at the time.
Obviously, it was his caller i.D., but now --
So, we have to assume the killer's alive and looking for jane.
How many agents are you gonna have at the wedding?
Four, but now i think we should probably have more.
At least 10.
We're gonna need eyes on the front and backyards
And the surrounding neighborhoods.
We should have a chopper on standby
In case we need to pursue.
Yes, sir.
But wouldn't it be wiser to just postpone the wedding?
Postpone the wedding? We're the fbi.
There is that upside.
We can use the wedding as bait...Kind of.
I'm gonna go check on that chopper.
Still think we shouldn't tell jane and lisbon?
We're the fbi.
Just like you said, we can handle it.
[ indistinct conversations ]
Patrick: Abbott.
Hmm? Hey.
[ telephone ringing ]
What were you and cho and tork huddled about?
Nothing special.
Nothing special that's keeping you here
When you could be in prague with your lovely wife?
[ chuckles ]
You know, she doesn't need me around.
I...I get in the way.
[ laughs ] you're lying to me.
I won't pursue the point
Because you would tell me if it was something important.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course.
I-if i thought
That it was something that we couldn't handle.
Ah.
You know, um...
...I've been getting some calls about you,
And my bosses want to know if you're sticking around.
That's a good question.
Mm.
All right, well, no pressure.
But if you're going, there is some legal stuff
That we need to handle to expunge that deal that we made.
The napkin? Mm-hmm. [ laughs ]
I'm getting married tomorrow.
Mm-hmm.
Then i'm building a house, and...Beyond that,
I genuinely have no idea.
And i can't do this job forever,
But it's gonna be tough to give up.
Yeah, it's hard giving up making a difference, huh?
No, everyone makes a difference.
Hard to give up the chase.
Oh, yeah.
That it is.
[ chuckles ]
So, you, uh, let me know when you know.
I will.
It has been very good working with you, patrick.
You too, dennis.
I really appreciate your honesty.
I love you for that.
Thank you.
[ sighs ]
Okay, you got me. I was lying.
There is something i need to talk to you about.
[ sighs ]
[ sniffles ]
Hey. Hi.
Nice flowers.
Mm. They're centerpieces.
It's a sylvan theme.
Sylvan theme. All right. Cool, i guess.
How many...People are actually coming to this thing?
Nobody knows exactly. [ sighs ]
Okay.
[ crying ] how did this happen? This is not what i wanted.
[ sighs deeply ]
Well, i like the sylvan theme.
We should have just eloped like you said.
What about your family?
Oh, they wouldn't care. I just talked to them at the hotel.
They found a minibar.
They're like cavemen arguing over a dead antelope.
All right, well, uh... Let's run, huh?
We'll tell nobody, just the judge.
I'll have her meet us at our little cabin
Tomorrow morning.
The cabin?
Just us.
What, you think the judge would do that?
Well, sure.
I mean, she's driving in from san antonio tonight.
Change of venue makes no difference to her.
Well, what about the witnesses?
We'll get someone, a park ranger.
[ chuckles ]
You know what? Let's do it. Yeah.
It's our life, damn it. Yes.
I love you. Thank you. I love you, too.
Hey, there's a -- i'm gonna go get my dress,
And i'm gonna go to the airstream.
I'll meet you there.
Well, there's another very good reason
Why we should elope, all right?
Keller is apparently still alive,
And he's mad at me for some reason.
Oh, my god.
Yeah, so cho and his people are gonna stake out this house.
When keller shows up, they'll nab him.
You were gonna withhold this information from me? Huh?
You were gonna deprive me of a guilt-free elopement?
I just told you.
You almost didn't!
From now on, we need to be 100% honest with each other.
I agree with you 100%. Okay.
Honesty. I am gonna go... Get my dress.
Fire up the airstream. You go, girl.
Hi. Judge hamilton, patrick jane.
Uh, there's been a change of venue.
Okay. No problem, mr. Jane.
If you just text me the exact address
And perhaps a decent motel nearby.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Great. Bye.
[ door closes ]
[ engine turns over ]
[ birds chirping ]
We got four agents on the roof,
Five dressed as catering and valet service,
Six on the perimeter,
And six undercover mobiles covering the approach roads.
When the guests get here,
I'll gather them inside and explain the situation.
Most of them are law enforcement,
So they'll understand.
What is it, wylie?
Office got a call off the bolo from a clerk
At the south austin registry office.
A man with extensive burns came in yesterday
And pretended to fill out a form.
The clerk thinks he may have taken a peek
At the marriage-license forms on her desk.
So that confirms it. He is coming to the wedding.
Well, we got it covered. Why are you so anxious, wylie?
I know all the state forms from when i used to work downtown.
The marriage-license form doesn't ask
Where the wedding is.
It just asks who the officiant is.
Well, that's the judge.
Yeah.
[ ducks quacking ]
[ breathes deeply ]
Hey, you.
Patrick: Hi.
Wow.
Well, no matter what happens, from this point on,
We have to promise each other that we will always
Look on the bright side.
I promise.
Me too.
[ breathing heavily ] [ gun cocks ]
Freeze! Drop the gun!
[ guns cocking ]
[ handcuffs clicking ]
And see how much better things turn out
When you're honest with me?
Thank you.
Let's do this.
No hard feelings.
[ sighs ]
Patrick, do you take teresa to be your lawful, wedded wife,
To have and to hold in sickness and health,
For better or for worse, till death do you part?
I sure do.
And, you, teresa, do you take patrick
To be your lawful, wedded husband,
To have and to hold in sickness and health,
For better or for worse, till death do you part?
I do.
Then by the power granted me by the state of texas,
I declare you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
[ cheers and applause ]
Ladies and gentlemen, patrick and teresa.
[ earth, wind & fire's "september" plays ]
[ whistles ]
Aah! [ laughs ]
¶ do you remember the 21st night of september? ¶
¶ love was changing the minds of pretenders ¶
¶ while chasing the clouds away ¶
Who wants to hug me? Come on.
Ohh! [ laughs ]
¶ our hearts were ringing ¶
¶ in the key that our souls were singing ¶ [ indistinct conversations ]
¶ as we danced in the night ¶
¶ remember how the stars stole the night away? ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ ba de ya ¶
¶ say, do you remember ¶
¶ ba de ya ¶
¶ dancing in september? ¶
¶ ba de ya ¶ [ camera shutter clicks ]
¶ never was a cloudy day ¶
[ scatting ]
¶ my thoughts are with you ¶
¶ holding hands with your heart to see you ¶
¶ only blue talk and love ¶
¶ remember how we knew love was here to stay? ¶
¶ now, december found the love that we shared in september ¶
How you feeling?
I am so happy.
Me too.
Me too.
[ cheering in distance ]
There's something i need to tell you.
[ insects chirping ]
No, you're -- you're kidding me?
I'm not kidding.
You are?
I am.
[ both laugh ]