The Mentalist (2008–2015): Season 7, Episode 12 - Brown Shag Carpet - full transcript

Previously
on "the mentalist"...

Patrick: I can't
do this anymore.

You can't keep pulling me from
the path of oncoming trains.

There's new trains
coming every day.

Do you have information
about the case?

My brother does. Gabriel.
He's a psychic.

There's a thing inside you.

Your cure will come
with the number three.

[ quacking ]

I didn't know
where you were.

You knew i'd be back.
No, i didn't.



There's a serial killer

With an evil heart
and an appetite to kill.

I saw that the killer
is going to kill again. Tonight.

Lisbon:
Why would the killer care
if gabriel was a real psychic?

Patrick:
He wants one for some reason,

And gabriel
didn't pass the test.

Susan: Could you just
take a look?

Bill: He was sitting
in the car, right?

The whole time
i was putting out the trash,

He just sat there,
staring at me.

They still
haven't caught

That guy
who killed those people.

It could be him.
You don't know.

Serial killers
don't sit in cars.



They lurk
in the shadows.

Be right back.

[ insects chirping ]

[ button clicks ]

Hey.

Stupid drunk.

[ sizzling ]

Oh!

[ groans ]

Susan!

[ scoffs ]

Soos?!

Soos?!

[ birds chirping ]

Lisbon: What is this?

[ laughs ]
did you buy me
another horse?

Just a little further.
Okay.

Hmm?
Is this a trick?

Breathe that air in.
Huh?

Okay, i'm breathing in
that air.

And...Voilà.

Jane...What is this?

It's a little shack
that i'm gonna renovate,

Make some additions.

We both knew
things had to change.

I-i couldn't make you quit,
and i need something to do.

So you're gonna
build us a house.
That's right.

And when i'm done,
if nothing else,

We have a place
to live.

It's a start.

So you're gonna work here,
not -- not at the fbi.

You're quitting.
Maybe. I-i don't know.

I haven't decided yet.

What?

I'm glad you got it.
I am.

But...
I have needs, too.

Like what?

I need to know that you're not
gonna run away again.

I won't.

I need to know that
you're committed to this, to us.

I-i am. That's why
i want to do this.

Okay.

Then are you gonna take off
your wedding ring?

It just -- it seems like
you don't want to let go of it.

No, it's not that.

I-i understand
why it's difficult for you.

I-it's just
that i'm used to it.

I know. It --
[ cellphone ringing ]

Oh, s-sorry.

What's up, boss?

Abbott: Sorry, lisbon.
I know you're on your way home.

But i need you
to turn around.

We have another one.

[ police radio chatter ]

¶¶¶

The victim's name
is susan herman.

Her husband reported her
missing last night.

Apparently, the killer
snatched her off her porch.

Lisbon:
That's a change.

The pattern's
the same otherwise --

Shot in the chest,
one fingernail ripped off.

He didn't bother
hiding the body.

Could mean
he's getting bolder.

Or more playful.

Playful?

Well, sure.
He knows we're on to him.

That's why he left her out
for us to find.

He's also
done something else.

What?

I'm not sure.

Uh, excuse me.

That mark on her left arm --
is that a puncture wound?

Looks like it.

Cho: Is that from a needle?
Uh, little bigger.

Could be
from an i.V. Line.

Why would he put
an i.V. In her?

Uh, he's not
poisoning them.

I don't think he was
putting anything in.

More likely,
he was taking something out.

Could be right.
Position the body correctly,

You can take out a cup or more
of blood with an i.V.

So he kills them,
rips out a fingernail,

And takes
a cup of blood.

And we're making
every possible effort.

Thanks. All right,
thanks for calling.

Everyone and his sister
wants to know

When we're
making an arrest.

Right. This is rick tork
from the santa fe office.

He's gonna help out
while we're short-handed.

Hey.

Dennis abbott.
Thanks for coming.

So, how long
were you in santa fe?

Uh, just a year.

I started out cbi,
made the jump

To the federal side
about the same time as cho.

And he's worked
with jane before.
Enough to know the score.

And what's that?
He'll never tell you
what he's up to,

Whatever he does,
you'll look like an idiot.

And always keep your hand
on your wallet.

Well,
you do know the man.

I appreciate you coming
tonight.

This case
is blowing up.

I hear you have 10 bodies.
Yeah, five were found buried,

Killed between two
and nine months ago.

Two were killed in their car
last week,

Gabriel osborne and his sister
a few days after that,

And the woman today.

Wow. Any, uh,
physical evidence?

Just the bullets --
they match,

But we haven't been
able to trace them to a gun.

Tork, i heard you were here.
It's good to see you.

You, too.
Anything
from the profilers?

Uh, they can't find any patterns
in the killings.

Uh, the first two victims
were homeless men,

The third
was a prostitute.

The next ones were
foreign-exchange students,

And then
the couple in the car.

There's no consistency
in age, race, or gender.

I don't think this is about
who he killed

So much
as what he killed for.

Hey, tork.
Long time, no see.

Do you mean the blood
and the fingernails?

Well, fingernails
not so much.

I think they're just
a gruesome trophy.

But the blood
he had to work for.

He must need it
for something.

Did any of the other victims
have puncture wounds?

Uh, the recent ones,
yes.

The buried victims,
we couldn't tell.

The bodies
had decomposed.

I think
we can assume

He's been taking blood samples
for some time.

The question is why.

There are
some theories online.

The most popular theory is that
he's a vampire of some sort.

Not sure
if that's helpful.

Well, maybe it is.
Really?

Well, he is stealing blood
from a corpse.

He's got to be doing
something weird with it.

So, he could be interested
in the occult.

He believes in psychics. That's
why he went after gabriel.

Talk to austin p.D.,
see if they have anything

On local cults
and nontraditional religions.

Ask homeland security

If they have anything useful
in their databases.

Well, if he's interested
in psychics,

Jane should talk to him.

Uh...Not a psychic,
dude.

No, but you can fake it,
right?

We could feed you
to the media,

Say that you can communicate
with the afterlife

Using your
spiritual whatever.

If he's really into that,
we can get him to show himself.

The son of sam killer
sent letters

To two of the writers
who wrote about him.

Hey, this kind of thing
could really work.

Did i...
Say something wrong?

Yeah, the last time jane
tried something like that,

It didn't go well.

Oh, the wife and kid.

Yeah,
the wife and kid.

Hey, uh,
i meant to tell you,

We got gabriel's
autopsy reports back.

He had
oligodendrogliomas --

They're tiny,
little tumors in the brain.

According to the coroner,
they can cause seizures,

Blackouts,
or delusional episodes.

Poor kid. No wonder he thought
he was psychic.

There's no such thing
as psychics.

No.

I shouldn't have said anything
about the ring. I'm sorry.

Teresa, please.

Really, look --
you do what you need to.

I'm okay, i swear.

[ knock on door ]

We just got a call
from austin p.D.

They think they have
the serial killer.

Did they arrest him?

The call said
somebody shot him.

[ police radio chatter ]

[ sobbing ]

This does
not seem right.

It's a false alarm.
A case of mistaken identity.

This is sharon nieto,
austin homicide.

The dead man
is le kong vinh.

According to the neighbors,

He goes around
collecting recyclables.

The homeowner was asleep

When he heard banging
on the side of the house.

It was mr. Vinh
going through his garbage,

But he didn't know that.

He thought somebody
was trying to break in,

So he grabs
his trusty .38.

Homeowner issued a challenge
through the door.

Just heard more banging.

And vinh
didn't speak english.

That's right.

So he fires through the door,
calls us,

Says he shot
a serial killer.

Is that
the victim's wife?

Yeah. I guess they were
collecting the bottles together.

Are you guys gonna catch
this whack job anytime soon?

People
are freaked out.

We're getting calls
all day.

Is your department
logging all the calls?

Sure.
Then we need that log.

Abbott: Ah,
it's a tough situation.

The city is in a full-on panic,
and we have no solid leads.

Okay, well, uh...
Do we try tork's idea?

What? No.
I don't think
that we can rule anything out.

Boss.

The guy is not
hiding bodies anymore.

You know,
maybe he's starting to --

To like the attention.

Do you want him to do to jane
what he did to gabriel?

Now, you know
we won't let that happen.

You can't promise that!
Patrick: Y-you know what?

I appreciate
your spirited defense,

But it --
it's not necessary.

I'll do it.

Okay.

According to
state forestry officials,

Once the bear
was tranquilized,

He was relocated
to a wilderness area.

And now an update
from our accuweather desk.

I'm gonna say this one last
time. You don't have to do this.

I know.

Coming up, a psychic
who's working with the fbi.

You're watching "austin today."
stay with us.

We're out. Back in 60.
[ bell rings ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

Oh, you've done this
before?

Yep.

All right, i'm gonna throw you
a couple easy questions,

We'll have some fun,
just keep the ball in the air.

Sure.
Back in 10.

5, 4, 3...

Welcome back
to "austin today."

I'm dan glover,
and with me is patrick jane,

A psychic
who works with the fbi.

I'd like to talk about
how you're helping

To hunt for the man
who's believed to have murdered

A number
of our local citizens,

But first i have to ask...
What is a psychic?

What is it you do?

Patrick?

Patrick?
Yeah, dan, sorry,
i was distracted.

Um, there's something
on your mind.

Your wife, uh...Just had
a baby -- a girl, i believe.

Who told you that?

You did.

Uh, her -- her name begins with
a vowel, "a," "e," "a" --

Alexan-- a--
alexa, right?

That's...Right.

So that's how
you do it, huh?

That's how i do it, dan.
Congratulations.

Thank you.

Your aunt...

Passed away
about a-a year ago.

18 months.

She used to help people.

She was a teacher,
i think.

Yes --
well, a counselor.

We didn't tell him any of this,
swear to god.

She really wants you
to be happy

Because she loves you...
Very much.

[ inhales deeply ]
that's it.

I-i can't tell you
how uncanny this is.

I-i'm shivering.
[ chuckles ]

So, tell us about this case
you're working on with the fbi.

I'm not a detective.
I don't do police work.

I'm just trying to help my
colleagues understand this man.

How would
you describe him?

Well, cautiously, i would say
that he's obviously angry,

Probably
in a lot of pain,

But i think
he's trying to get in touch

With someone
from the other side.

What makes you
say that?

Who isn't?

[ exhales sharply ]

We have a call from anna marie
in pflugerville.

Anna marie,
what's your question?

Hey.
Anna marie: Hi.

What's up?
Uh, abbott sent me.
You can get out of here.

I'll take jane home
when he's done.

Oh, no, i'm okay.

No, forget it.
You're beat. Go home.

All right.

...About 14 months ago.

It was shortly
after my mother died.

Well, i was at home alone, and
i went into the room where my...

[ insects chirping ]

[ alarm chirps ]

We have
another call here from...

Hmm. Lazarus,
welcome to the show.

Lazarus.
Interesting name.

Lazarus:
He rose from the dead.

So i hear.

What's your question,
lazarus?

What else do you know about
the man the fbi is hunting?

Well, i can't tell you
everything i know.

Why not?
Well, it's an ongoing
investigation.

The case is still open.
Why are you interested?

Do you have information
on the man?

You're the one
who knows everything.

I never said that.

No, but you claim to be
in contact with his spirit.

Boss, you hearing this?
If you're telling the truth...

Yes, we are.

Wylie, how long until
you trace the call?

I'm gonna need
another minute.

Make sure jane
keeps him talking, okay?

Lazarus:
If you're not, why would
the police want your help?

I get the feeling
that you know more

About this case
than you're saying.

If that's so,
you should probably share.

Why?

So we can catch him.

What if
i don't want him gone?

Oh, why would you feel
that way?

I spoke to someone like you
once before.

Really? Who?

He was a complete fake.

You could practically
see it written on him.

We didn't release what
was written on gabriel's body.

Nobody knows that
except us and the killer.

That's our guy.
That's our guy.

Uh, what's that address?

Hmm, interesting.
What?

He's not calling
from a cellphone.

He's calling from a landline --
normal phone.

Okay, that's the address,
right?
Yeah.

Call downstairs.
We need backup.

[ keyboard clacking ]

When we left, you suggested
that you dealt with

Another psychic
who wasn't on the up-and-up.

Are you a skeptic now?

No, i believe in spirits
very much,

Just not everybody who claims
to be in touch with them.

Any spirits
in particular?

You tell me.
Who haunts you?

Me? Uh, nobody.

There must be spirits
in your life.

Well, fortunately,
they leave me alone.

[ guns cock ]

You still haven't told me

Whose spirit you're
trying to connect with.

Have to go now. Bye.
Hold on.

Lazarus? Hello?

Seems the caller
has gone.

We're gonna take a minute
for a station i.D.

We'll be right back
with "night talk" on kpqc.

[ cellphone vibrating ]

Abbott,
what's happening?

Something's wrong.
He's not here.

He rigged the phone.
We don't know where he is.

I don't know what he's doing,
but i don't like it.

You and tork get out of there
and head back to the office.

We'll meet you there.
Okay.

Cho called. He said --

Yeah, i heard.
Let's go.

Hey, we're doing a show.
Hey!

[ insects chirping ]

What happened to you?

I was listening.
You got caught off.

Yeah, the call was a ruse.
He's planning something.

You need to get back to
the office as soon as you can.

Did you leave the door of
the airstream open this morning?

No. Maybe. W-why?

It's open.
Okay, stop.

Don't go anywhere
near it.

Don't do anything until
someone else gets there.

That could take forever.
I'm gonna check it out.

Yeah, fine,
but you're not hanging up.

Jane. We have to go.

Just...

Jane.

Teresa, what's going on?

Lisbon: [ sighs ]
there's nobody in here.

I guess we left it open.

Okay,
get back to the office.

All right,
i'll see you there.
[ beep ]

Let's go.

Thank you for coming in.
An hour and a half ago,

Two agents were attacked
by a man

Who we believe is responsible
for 10 murders in the past year.

This man.

Agent richard tork is
in the hospital.

I've been told
that he's gonna be all right.

Patrick jane, however,
has been abducted by this man

And is still being held,

So as of right now,
no one goes home.

No one takes a nap
or a coffee break

Until patrick jane is returned
and this man is arrested.

Agent cho will have
your assignments.

[ indistinct whispering ]

[ clears throat ]

We found the truck parked
a few blocks away.

We assume the suspect
switched vehicles.

All right,
we need a team to sweep

Security and traffic cameras
in the area.

Elias, that's yours.

We also need fingerprint
and dna evidence from the truck.

Merrick.
You warned me.
I didn't listen, and i am sorry.

...Your assignments,
please.

He could have killed jane,
but he took him,

So that means
he wants something,

And there is
no one better

At exploiting a situation
like that than jane.

I hope you're right.

[ keys jingling ]

[ lock turns ]

[ door creaks ]

[ switch clicks ]

[ door closes ]

[ lock turns ]

[ keys jingling ]

[ breathing heavily ]

Water?

No, thanks.

Suit yourself.

You know who i am?

Lazarus.
That's right.

You expect me
to call you that?

Don't be funny.

Well, you're the one
that came up with the name.

[ chuckles ]

Interesting place.

Could do with
a little update.

I saw you on tv.

You said
you know things...

...Hear things.

Prove it.

It doesn't work
like that.

You did it on tv.

Different
circumstances.

You know, you can't just --
you can't just make it happen.

The other one
said something like that.

You know who i mean?
Sure.

So, i tested him.

He was a liar.
Are you a liar?

No.

Prove it.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Hi.

Tork, please,
go home.

I'm okay.
This isn't your fault.

Any of us had been there,
same thing would have happened.

Yeah,
but...I was there.

I'll be at my desk.

I might have something.
What?

Jane said the killer was
probably doing something weird

With the blood he took,
right?

So,
i've been looking into

Local black magic
and occult connections.

Find anything?
Too much.

It's hard
to find someone

Who doesn't sound like
a serial killer.

But one place
keeps cropping up --

A bookstore
called "the grimoire."

"the grim" what?

Grimoire.
It's a magical textbook.

Yeah, a lot of people interested
in the stuff go there.

Maybe the killer did,
too.

It seemed
worth checking out.

It's only three miles from where
the bodies were buried.

Wylie, most of austin

Is three miles from
where the bodies were buried.

We appreciate the effort,
but it sounds thin,

And we don't have
the time to waste.

Jane would go.

He'd say, "do the usual thing,
you get the usual result,"

Which, in this case,
is him dead.

Okay, wylie.
Let's go check it out.

This is your father's house,
not yours.

A spirit tell you that?

No, the furniture.

Your mother died
when you were very young.

You were raised
by your father.

He was strict...

But you feel now
that you deserved it,

He was right
to punish you.

Who's telling you
that?

It's what
i'm getting from you.

What else?

You didn't have any friends
when you were a kid.

You usually ate alone,

Not because people
wouldn't sit with you,

But because
you were disgusted

By the sounds they made
when they ate.

Sometimes, other people
don't feel real to you.

They're like robots
wearing human skin.

What do i do
for a living?

You're an exterminator.

Yet, again,
it doesn't feel real.

It's like a movie being
projected on a screen.

That's impressive.

Thank you.

But i don't need to know
about me.

I want contact
with another.

I don't sense
any spirits here.

You're wrong.
The spirit is here.

If you don't know that,
then you're a fraud.

No, i'm not.
Just the like
the other one.

I'm not a fraud.
You're a liar and a cheat.

You take it easy.

[ cellphone ringing ]

[ beep ]

Hello?

No, ma'am.
The job's finished.

No.

No, it's -- okay.

I'll address that.
I'll be right over.

[ beep ]

[ sniffs ]

I'll be back.

Hey.
What?

Uh, i could --
i could use that water.

Thank you.

[ keys jingling ]

[ grunts ]

[ clicking ]

[ grunts ]

[ bell jingles ]

"keh-lis" weir?

"kee-lis"? Yes

We're with the fbi.

[ door closes ]
forget it.

I'm not collaborating
with religious persecutors.

What persecutors?

We just want to ask
some questions.

You say that,
then you start in

With your
western morality.

Not fooling me twice.

What do you mean?

A while back,
some guy comes in, starts...

Asking about santeria.

I tell him some friends
are performing a ritual.

Oh, he shows up...

With 10 cops, arrests everybody
for animal abuse.

Animal abuse?

People cut up
a million chickens a day.

They put
testicle-sized chunks

In a fryer,
call it commerce.

My friends...Use one for
an ancient and sacred ritual,

And i go to jail?

Hey, you're just all a bunch
of judeo-christian,

Jackbooted thugs
as far as i'm concerned.

Wylie,
this is a waste of time.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Kelis has a point.

She was duped.
That isn't fair.

Yeah. So?

So,
maybe we can help you.

How?

If you talk to us,
just answer some questions,

We'll lean on austin p.D.
To reduce your charges,

Maybe drop them.

Why would
they do that?

The serial-killer case
we're working on,

The mayor, austin p.D. --
They want him in custody fast.

If you help us make the arrest,
they'll owe us,

And we can use that
to help you.

He's right.

What do you
want to know?

We're looking for someone
who uses blood.

A lot of people do that.
What kind of blood?

Human blood.

Okay,
that's different.

Those people
do not come in here.

I'm a little too vanilla
for them.

Where do they go?
The web mostly.

There's a site
called blackmore.

Hard-cores --
they go there.

I've been looking.
I haven't found that one.

That's because
you got to go deep web.

You can't even find the site
without the i.P.

Can you give that
to us?

You're really gonna
talk to austin p.D.?

You're really
gonna help me?
Yes.

Give me a minute.

It's not bad, huh?

[ doorknob rattles ]

[ sniffs ]

[ door creaks ]

[ switch clicks ]

Ohh!

The blackmore site
is huge.

It's the ebay
of the deeply weird.

There are sections on vampirism,
self-vivisection.

Self-vivisection?
Yeah.

Cutting yourself open.
Okay.

How does this
help us find jane?

Well, there's also a section
on blood sorcery --

Magical things you can do
with blood.

Now, you're supposed to use
your own blood.

But 15 months ago,
there was a discussion

On harvesting blood
from other people.

About 20 people
were involved.

Why would you
harvest blood?

Because
you need a lot.

15 months ago --
that was right around the time

Our guy
made his first kill.

He could be one of those people.
Can we get their names?

Well, the screen names they used
are all super-protected.

However,
i was able to dig one out --

A guy named
alan saltonstall,

A college professor
in san marcos.

Let's go pick him up.
Sure.

What do they do
with the blood?

A couple of things,
but the one that gets

The most discussion
is a ritual that binds a spirit.

Bind? How?
If you have a corpse,

You can bind the spirit
of a dead person

By giving blood
to their body.

That way,
the spirit never leaves.

Where are we
with the search warrant?

It's on its way to the judge
right now.

Is that saltonstall?
Yeah.

Well, why isn't somebody
talking to him?

He requested an attorney.
He's on his way now.

This guy could be
torturing jane right now.

We don't have time
for this.

I'm sorry, lisbon.
Let me talk to him.

Look,
the guy's lawyering up.

Let me talk to him.

Okay.

[ sighs ]
i already told him

I won't say anything
without my lawyer present.

I don't care.

You're hiding something.

What?

I never would have noticed
something like this before,

But i've been working
for a very long time

With somebody who's good
at seeing into people,

What they're thinking,
feeling.

I can tell
there's something

You're worried we're gonna
find out about you.

That's ridiculous!

I'm guessing it has something
to do with the black magic,

Something violent or sexual,
maybe both.

But judging by
how freaked out you are,

I'd say it's something
really bad.

I am not freaked out,
and my interests,

Such as they are,
are purely academic.

I don't know what
you think you're doing --
shut up.

I don't care what kind
of kinky stuff you're in to.

I have a friend
who's in danger,

And maybe
you can help save him.

It's possible
he's being held by somebody

From that blood group
of yours.

I want their names.

I don't know any names.
It's an online community, and --

I shouldn't even
be talking to you.

You're lying. I can tell.
You have names.

You've met them,
some of them.

I don't think
you understand

How important this is
to me.

You give me a name, you can walk
out that door right now.

You don't, and i will dig up
every dirty secret you have!

You'll what?

I will tell everybody
you know --

Your co-workers, your friends,
your family.

You are not
gonna be able to hide!

Y-you're threatening me?

It's not a threat.
It's a promise.

You -- you can't!
That's -- that's illegal.

My boss is right back there.
Tell him.

Get me fired. Ruin my career.
I don't care.

I want those names.

He gave me eight names. He says
he can't remember the rest.

Good work.

How do we know
he's not the killer?

We checked
his credit-card statements.

He was out of the country
for two of the murders.

Okay, we'll go out in pairs,
and i'll text you the names.

Track them down. See if they're
connected to the killings.

If you find a live one,

Let the rest of the team
know fast.

[ lock turns ]

[ keys jingling ]

[ lock turns ]

Joe.

He's here, your father --
big joe.

That's who you want to
get in touch with, right?

He says thank you
for keeping him,

For taking care of him.

The passing over was hard,
but now he's good.

His back doesn't hurt
anymore.

He feels better now
than he ever did

When dr. Hannigan
was feeding him his meds.

There's doubt in you.

No. I-i mean --

Put it aside.

If -- if you doubt, then i lose
the connection with him.

I won't be able to
communicate with him.

Okay.

He says there's a lake...

A lake rickasee?

Pickasee.

Pickasee.

He didn't catch a fish
that day. No.

No, you -- you caught a fish,
a small one.

Daddy?

He wants to know
why you're keeping him here.

There's something
in me...

A voice.

And when it starts,
i can't ignore it.

I can't think about
anything else until i go out...

Find someone...

And then
it goes away again...

For a while.

Is that your voice,
daddy?

Is that you in me?

Are you sending me out?

Am i doing this
for you?

He's saying something.

What?

Like...

It's not clear.

It's not.
No?

Yeah, i'm -- i'm s--
i'm sorry.

I -- he's --
he's gone.

Get him back.

[ sighs ] i can't.

I need --
i need...An hour.

Get him back.

I need an hour. I just --
i need to -- i need to rest.

This is
how this works.

[ scoffs ]

Hey, can i have
some of that gum, please?

Thank you.

[ keys jingling ]

[ lock turns ]

[ door creaks ]

[ switch clicks ]

[ blows ]

[ gas hissing ]

We're looking for a man
named joseph keller jr.

According to our records,
his last known address

Was in an apartment building
that you manage, ms. Martinez.

But then he moved out.
Hmm.

Yeah, keller --
weird guy.

Yeah, i think he moved
like two years ago.

Did he leave
a forwarding address?

No. I think he said something
about his dad being sick.

Can you remember anything else
about him, where he worked?

Some
exterminator company.

Do you know the name
of the company or the address?

Maybe -- i think he sent me
an e-mail about it,

Wanted me to hire him.

You want me
to look for it?

That would be wonderful,
thank you.
Okay.

I know it's in here.

[ knock on glass ]

While you're
looking for that,

We're just gonna
step outside.

Okay.

Any news?
Not yet, sorry.

But i did find out
something weird about keller.

What?

Not keller jr., but his father,
joseph keller sr.

15 years ago, there was a string
of killings in the area.

Local p.D. Took
a hard look at keller sr.,

Really liked him
for them,

But they only had
a circumstantial case,

Never found any
conclusive physical evidence.

Keller's father
was a serial killer.

Sounds like it.
What happened to him?

I don't know. Case went cold.
Two or three years ago,
he falls off the map.

He had a house not too far
out of town, near lake pickasee.

You check out the house.

I'll wait until she finds a work
address and head over there.
Good.

[ lock turns ]

It's been an hour.

He's here.

He -- what?

He came back
when you were gone.

He wants to talk to you.
He's in there.

He wants to talk to me?

That's right.

If you want answers,
they're in that room.

You can go in or not.
It's up to you.

Do you smell gas?

No.

[ coughs ]

[ coughing ]
[ gas hissing ]

[ sniffs ]

[ cracking ]

[ grunts ]

Jane?

Jane, are you in here?

[ pounding ]

Jane? Are you here?

Jane?!

[ coughing ]

Jane. Hey.

Can you stand up?

Come on.
Let's get you up.

[ gasps ]
oh, i got you.

[ coughing ]

Come on.

[ coughs ]

Don't you ever
do that to me again, ever.

[ ducks quacking ]

Woman: And sign here...
Patrick: Mm-hmm.

...And here...
And here...

There.

...And here.

Okay.
Yeah. That's it.

It's all yours.

Now, usually this is where
i hand over the keys,

But there aren't any.

[ both laugh ]

Congratulations.
Thank you.

Thank you so much.

You're very welcome.

Bye.
Bye-bye.

[ birds chirping ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

You agent tork?

Yeah. You guys done
looking around in there?

'cause we're just sitting
on our hands out here.

There's nothing we could find.
It's a mess in there.

But the structure's sound.
Your people can go in. Have fun.

Thanks.

All right, listen up.

It's been reported
there are two bodies

In the basement of this house.

There may also be evidence

Pertaining to as many
as 10 homicides committed

By the recently deceased
individual known as lazarus,

Real name joseph keller.

We want to put
these cases to bed,

So that means break out
the fine-toothed combs.

Let's go.

[ exhales sharply ]

[ birds chirping ]

How's your head?

Oh, hey.
Hi.

It's fine.

Ears are still ringing
a little,

But, uh, just getting ready
for the remodel.

I brought sandwiches.
Those are the magic words.

Come with me.

[ insects chirping ]

Is it me,
or does it seem like

The house slants a little bit
to the left?

Optical illusion.

You're not wearing
your wedding ring.

I'm not married.

The ground is slanty,
so it makes the structure look

Like it's leaning, but it is,
in fact, not.

It's just
an optical illusion.

Slanty, huh?

Yeah.
Technical term.

This ring has been with me
for a very long time, and, uh...

...It has obvious significance
with my past.

It also represents...

...Meeting you.

If i didn't have this ring,
i would never have met you.

So in a sense, uh...

It has the potential
to represent my future, as well.

And i-i'm not expecting
you would ever wear it,

But i want to share it
with you,

And...

...I want it to represent
our future...Together.

I want you
to be my wife.

Will you marry me?

Okay. [ laughs ]

Yes, yes. [ laughs ]

Yes? Excellent.

[ laughs ]

I'm glad that's dealt with.
I was a little nervous.

Oh, come on.
You knew i was gonna say yes.

No, even after all these years,
you're still a mystery to me.

Oh, yeah?
[ chuckles ]
thank you.

Hey, guys,
how's the lazarus case going?

Keller's house is being
processed right now.

Tork's on the scene.
We're just squaring
away the paperwork.

Oh, good.
Good, good, good.

All right.

Do you guys need anything?
Can i help?

Mm...No,
not really.

Look, you know,
old job's over.

New job hasn't begun.

You know, i'm just spinning
my wheels here. [ chuckles ]

[ knock on door ]

Hey.
Hey, guys.

So, um...We wanted you
to be the first to know.

Um...Yeah.

We're getting married.

Hey!
[ laughter ]

I told you.
No, you didn't.

Congratulations.

Oh, man!
That's wonderful.

That's awesome.
When's the big day?
Thank you.

Eh, no big day.
I don't want any wedding fuss.

Oh, we're just gonna
slip away quietly

In the next couple
of days.

All right.
[ chuckles ]

¶ it's not unusual
to be loved by anyone ¶

¶ it's not unusual to have fun
with anyone ¶

¶ but when i see you
hanging around with anyone ¶

¶ it's not unusual
to see me cry ¶

¶ i want to die ¶

[ groans ]

¶ it's not unusual
to go out anytime ¶

Woman: Hi. How are you?
Woman #2: Good. How are you?

Good.
[ cash register whirring ]

¶ but when i see you out
and about, it's such a crime ¶
[ indistinct conversation ]

¶ if you should ever
want to be loved by anyone ¶
[ sighs ]

Thank you.
Have a nice day.
Thank you.

¶ it's not unusual,
it happens every day ¶

[ bell jingles ]

Oh, my lord. Sir?

I'm good. [ sighs ]

That darn barbecue,
i swear.

[ sniffs ]

These are two for one,
right?

Yay! Hey-hey!
Hey! That's awesome!

Yeah!

Hey, even this guy's
happy about it, right?

Whoo! Yeah, congrats.

[ baby cries ]
whoa!

Oh, hi!

Hey.
Hey! Congratulations!

Somebody
went number two.

Thanks.
Ohh, yeah. All right.

Uh, so, anyway, did you tell --
uh, did you tell tommy yet?

Eh, he's chasing
a bail jumper in alaska.

I left him a message.

Eh, well,
you snooze, you lose.

We're gonna miss him
at the bachelor party, though.

There is no bachelor party.

We're getting married
the day after tomorrow,

Just me and jane
and the justice of the peace.

No big wedding, no guests.

Uh...Oh.

But...Family, right?

Yeah, family.
[ chuckling ] yeah.

No, it's just us.
We want to get married quietly.

Well, so,
we'll be quiet.

But we're gonna be there, t.
I mean, no argument.

Hey, stan, hold it.
It's her deal, her choice.

You know,
she wants to do it that way,

Then let her do it.
What are you saying,
you mook?

Guys, come on.

If we're not there,
mom's gonna spin in her grave

Like a freaking crankshaft.
Oh, my god.

She'll be crying
for shame

That our sister,
our only sister --

Oh, would you can it,
please, stan?

Teresa just said
she don't us there.

Why would you
want to be there

If she doesn't
want us there? I mean --

You're a sad, bitter man,
jimmy lisbon.

Well, i-i smile through it.
Don't you ever --

I smile
through the sadness.

Stop it.
He's doing it again.

I got stronger, though.
Ever since
he was a little kid --

Ohh! It's just --
it cuts to the airflow!

Yeah.

Don't worry.

Don't worry
about what?

You're worried
that i'm gonna be upset

Because you invited
your brothers to our marriage.

How did you know that?

When we're married,

Do you think you might
stop asking that question?

It's okay, isn't it?
They're family.

Thank you.
It means a lot to them.

Of course.

[ sighs ]
since my brothers are coming,

It feels...
Funny not to invite

Just a couple of members
from the team.

No, no. You know what?
You're right.

We should keep it small --
small. Just my brothers.

Eh, fine. Invite away.

We're gonna need
a few more guests

Just to dilute
the alcohol content.
Thank you.

Just three or four,
though.

Where do we draw
the line?

Well, that's why
we decided not to invite anyone.

I know. I know.
I'm sorry.

It's just --
here we are.

[ laughs ]
here we are.

What?
[ laughing ]

Oh, look, i'm just gonna
surrender to fate, all right?

So be it.
Big, huge, massive wedding.

No, just 8 or 9
very close friends

At the courthouse --
9 or 10,

And then we can go
to o'malley's bar afterwards.

12 tops.

Or we could go to a restaurant.
No big deal.

It's not like we're hiring
a caterer.

We don't have a gift registry
or anything.
Sure. Okay.

Where are you going?
Well, i have to get you a ring.

I already have one.

That is for us.

You need one for you.

I do?
You do.

All right, well,
shouldn't i come with you?

Isn't that how
you're supposed to do it?

No, i think
we'll waste time bickering.

Besides,
i have better taste.

You think you do.
You'll see.

N-nothing too gauche.

Bye!

Hey, boss.
Hey.

[ laughs ] the less i have
to do, the more coffee i drink.

So, do you and lena want to come
and watch us get married?

Oh. Uh, lena went to
a trade conference in prague,

But, uh...You know,
i'd be honored.

I thought you guys
weren't having any guests.

Well, we kind of changed
our minds.

It's just gonna be
a few people -- a dozen, 15.

All right. I'm there.
Where and when?

We don't know yet.
It's nothing fancy.

Oh, well, you have to have it
at our house. I insist.

We have the perfect spot
for a casual wedding.
Really?

Hmm. I'd be thrilled.

That is so nice
of you.

[ chuckles ]

What's up?
Some surprise, huh?

I didn't see
the wedding thing coming.

It wasn't
that hard to guess.

Something
on your mind?

No.

Actually, yes.

Someone might get in touch
with you

About me requesting
a transfer.

I just wanted you to hear it
from me first.

A transfer where?
Salt lake.

Office there is starting
a cyber-crime initiative.

They're looking
for people.

It's desk work,
but it's more my speed, i think.

Uh, let's face it,
i didn't do that well

When we were
going after keller.

It's not easy being
in the bullpen.

Michelle's desk
is right there, and...

Anyway, i think a change of pace
would be good.

Plus, you're gonna be
rebuilding the team.

This will pretty much give you
a blank slate.

Come here.

What?
Come here.

Ow!

Stop feeling sorry
for yourself.

No, i'm not.
You are.

You made some mistakes
going after keller?

Welcome to the club.
I bat .300 on a good day.

You miss vega.

Now remember
who she was.

She'd never run away
from a challenge like this,

And neither should you.

[ sighs ]
and you're right.

I have to
rebuild the team,

And i want to start with people
that i know and trust.

So stick around.

Or what,
you'll hit me again?

I'm asking you to stay,
wylie.

Okay.

Okay, good.

Check in with tork.

I want to know what's going on
at the house.

Sure.

And cho...

Thanks.

No problem.

This is the ring
we sent you a picture of.

It was my grandmother's.

Anne's dad gave it to me
to propose with.

Which is sweet, but it's not
really me, you know?

So we thought maybe we could
take the diamond out,

Put it in a necklace
or something.

Of course. Uh, may i --
may i see it?

Oh, yeah.

Uh,
let me get my loupe.

We'll just need to take
a closer look at the stone.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm helping another customer
right now, sir.

Fbi -- give them back
their ring right now,

Or i will be forced
to shoot you.

Don't worry.
Just kidding.

I don't even carry
a real gun.

I have a lot of close friends
that do, though.

What's happening?

All will be revealed. Their ring
is in your right hand.

Uh, sir,
you've made a mistake.

We've got the ring
right here.

Uh, that's a replica.

A...Replica?

He did a french drop
to swap the valuable ring

With a cheap replica.

French drop is a sleight-of-hand
move. Not important.

That ring never belonged
to your grandmother,

And it's not
a real diamond.

Is that true?
Of course not.

He would study the ring
that he just gave you,

Then break the sad news that
your grandma's ring is a phony,

And you'd be
none the wiser.

[ laughs ]
this is insane.

Then you won't mind opening up
your right hand, will you?

Open up your right hand,
please, sir.

Holy moly.

Well, thank you for
your assistance, folks.

I'll take it
from here.

Uh...

Don't worry, ma'am.
The real ring is in your hand.

Good day to you.

Thank you.
My pleasure.

So, my crooked friend,
today is your lucky day.

Is it?
[ door closes ]

Well, on a normal day,
you'd be off to the pokey now.

But as it happens...I'm in
the market for a diamond ring.

Oh.
Oh.

So show me your
very best selection, please.

And, sir, if i see any glass...
The cuffs will come out.

Nothing too gauche.

[ knock on door ]

What's up?

Tork just called in
from the crime scene.

No intact corpses
in the basement,

But a lot of body parts,
badly burned and fragmented.

Have them rush
the dna tests.

Pull some strings
if you have to.

Why the rush?
Still got a lot
of media interest.

The bosses want to be
able to announce we got the guy.

For that, we need a coroner's
report, so let's get on it.

Okay, right away.

Hey, did abbott give you
the news?
Hey.

We're having a real wedding
at his house.

He did.

You're gonna be there,
right?
Of course.

I could use your help
with something

If you're not too busy.

What's that?

[ sighs ]

What do you think?

Makes you look short.

Snow cone.

Slutty elf.

You want a simple piece
with clean lines,

Maybe something vintage
and off-white.

What he said.

Thank you
for doing this.

I asked you along 'cause
i thought you'd be honest.

I had no idea
you were such a fashion expert.

Not me.

My mom could run up a
designer gown before breakfast,

Cut her cloth by eye.
Cool.

My mom had a sewing machine,
but it was always in hock.

She'd be
very proud of you.

Looking like this?

Very proud.

Thank you, kimball.

[ insects chirping ]

All right,
good night, wade,

And, uh, tell shaniqua
i said thanks for the fan mail.

[ keys jingle ]

[ sighs ]

[ alarm chirps ]

[ chuckles ]

Excuse me.

I-i don't have
any change, man.

Oh, hey, hey, hey!
Okay, okay, okay.

Uh [clears throat] hello.
You can take it.

You can take it. Here.
Get in the car.

Do as i say,
and you won't get hurt.

[ engine turns over ]

[ insects chirping ]

Keller:
Stop the vehicle.

Very slowly.
No one gets hurt.

Put the car in park
and get out.

[ gear clicks ]

Easy.

[ seat belt clicks ]

Easy.

Give me your phone.

All right.

No problems.

What's the passcode?

There isn't any.

Wallet.

Look, uh, i only got
about 20 bucks in it.

And, uh...
[ clears throat ]

Would you let me keep
my driver's license?

I-i don't want to have to
go to the dmv.

Sure.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Thank you.

[ thud ]
[ scream ]

No! No! No!
[ grunting ]

No! No! No!

[ screams ]

[ gasping ]

[ dialing ]

[ telephone rings ]

Tork.

Patrick jane, please.

Um, sorry.
He's not in.

This is dan glover
from "austin today."

I interviewed jane recently
about this whole lazarus case.

Sure. I remember you.

I just want to do a quick
follow-up. Is he available?

I'm afraid, uh, you're gonna
have to wait a few days on that.

He's out of the office
for a while.

Can you tell me
where i can find him?

It'll only take
a few moments.

I'd say he's pretty unfindable
at the moment.

He's getting married
in a few days.

Married?
Yeah.

I can, uh, take a message,
tell him you called.

No, no need.

Okeydoke.

[ beep ]

Huh.

Woman:
Sign right there.

Oh, if i just remembered
how tedious

This aspect
of the marriage is,

I might not
have asked you.
Shush.

No, seriously.
I'm only on page two.

You know, i could just give
you the ring and we could elope.

Don't be mean.
No take-backs.

I could give you this,

And we could be in fiji
by nightfall.

There are people coming.
We are getting married, damn it.

Suit yourself.

You got a ring?
Yes, i did.

Mm.
You gonna show it to me?

You want to see it?
Show me.

Uh, unh-unh, unh.

I'll take this,
and you'll fill all of this out.

[ indistinct conversation ]

[ snorts, laughs ]
oh, my god.

It's not real.
You scared me. It's funny.

Of course it's real.

It's real?
Real.

Oh, my --
are you out of your mind?

You like it?

Well, it's gorgeous,
but it's too much.

I-i can't accept it.

You can accept it,
and you will.

It's yours.
I want you to have it.

What is the justice
of the peace's name?

Emily hamilton.

"emily hamilton."
oh, my...

All right,
let's file this sucker.

All right.

We'll need confirmation that
the ceremony's been performed

Within 72 hours,
or you will need to refile.

Congratulations.

Who said
romance is dead?

I can't take this.

No,
not yet you can't.

Well, at least
let me try it on.

Not yet.
We don't even know
if it fits!

[ elevator bell dings ]

Lisbon, hi.

Yes! Wylie,
did we invite you yet?

No, not yet.
Well, here it is.

Abbott's house,
12:00 saturday.

But try not
to spread it around.

We want to
keep it small,

And i don't want to hurt
anybody's feelings.

I got you.
Is there a gift registry?

Uh, no gifts.

Is there a trousseau?

I don't know.
What is that exactly?

Never mind.

Y-you're coming back to work,
right? Here?

[ laughs ]
yeah, i think so.

Why are you whispering?

Lisbon, hey.
Someone's trying to reach you?

[ chuckling ]
oh, my god.

Hey, boss.
Hi.

I'll talk to you guys
later, okay?

It is so good
to see you guys.

Right back at you.
[ chuckles ]

Well, the news is spreading fast
through the cbi grapevine.

It's true, isn't it?

It's true.

Oh, well, we had to call
and say congratulations.

So, you and jane, huh?
We always knew.

We always knew?
I always knew.

How are the kids?

Uh, sticky, mostly.
The kids are great.

I know it's short notice,
but you guys have got to

Come out for the wedding.
It's saturday.

Oh, my gosh, of course.
We'd love to.

It will take
a little child-care juggling,

But we can swing it.
You know, worst comes to worst,

We'll just bring
the little monkeys with us

And keep them locked
in the rental car.
[ scoffs ] will not.

I'm kidding.
Child: Mommy!

[ laughs ]
[ groans ]

No, but seriously, we wouldn't
miss it for anything.
Mommy!

I got to go.
We'll see you soon.

All right,
i'll send you the details.

Great. Take care.

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ telephone ringing ]

Okay,
you guys are all set.

It should be in the mail
three to five days.

Thanks.

[ pen clicks ]

[ keyboard clacking ]

Excuse me. I need to fill out
a marriage license.

Um, usually there's
two of you.

She's running late.
I'll get started.

Okay, well, uh, paperwork is
in the end tray.

Just fill that out.

We need both of you here,
plus i.D.

I see.
Will do, thanks.

[ telephone ringing ]

City clerk's office.
Please hold.

Thanks for holding.
Yes, how may i help you?

No, ma'am.
You can't file online.

Until 6:00,
but we're closed -- okay, bye.

You're welcome.

Looks like
she stood me up.

Bad omen for a wedding,
huh?

Abbott.

Can i run something
by you?

Yeah, shoot.

Spot dna test came back
from the keller house.

So far, all the recovered
body parts

Belong to joe sr. --
None for jr.

They found his gun,
but not him.

[ sighs ]
oh, damn.

It could be that he was at
the epicenter of the explosion

And was vaporized, but there's
a strong possibility

That keller, a.K.A. Lazarus,
is still alive.

Damn.

I let austin p.D. Know,
and we're putting out a bolo

To all
the local hospitals.

Wylie's putting together
a k.A. List,

And i'm gonna have agents set up
shop at all of them.

Well, did you put out
a wire just in case --

He runs for the border,
yeah.

All right, well,
it seems like

You have everything
handled.

I don't know if i should tell
jane and lisbon.

Good question.
Yeah.

I wouldn't.

We don't have enough
to be sure.

And, you know, they're
in a good space right now.

If lisbon found out
that this case isn't closed,

It's likely that
she'll cancel the wedding

And join the hunt.

Yeah, there's plenty of time
to tell them after.

But...If he's still alive,
you know,

Keller's unpredictable,
and jane did try to kill him.

You know, just in case,

Why don't we put some bodies
at the wedding,

Just to keep
an eye out.

And it's my house,
so i'll arrange it.

You sure?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's something to keep me busy.

Okay, thanks.

Abbott said
it's totally up to you,

But that you'd probably prefer
to hold the ceremony outside,

And there isn't really
a room inside big enough.

Well, how many people
are we talking about?

Oh! A lot of people
are talking about it.

Well, we only invited
like 15 people.

Mm...More like 25 or --
i know.

And i don't think
people are waiting for, like,

A printed invitation...
Seeing as there isn't one.

But, hey, o-on the plus side,
you're popular, girl!

Is that what
all these tables are for?

Yeah, abbott thought
they'd be useful. Don't worry.

He's covering
the rental...

And the bartender...
And the caterer.

I guess they're his
wedding gift. I don't know.

Hey, here's a menu.

There's a caterer?
Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

Abbott's loaded.
I mean, look at this house.

I think his wife cleaned up
in the private sector.

Wow.

Here we are.
Hey, everybody out.

Hey, teresa!
Hey!

We're here!
Hey-hey!

T!
[ laughter ]

Hi!
[ chuckling ] wow!

You all came!
So many people.

Yeah, hey. Sure we came.
We're gonna let our sister down?

[ laughter ]

Congratulations.
Thanks.

Yeah, hey, guys, say hi to your
aunt teresa, all right?

Hi!
Hi!

Who is this?

Oh, t, this is lucy,
my fiancée.
Aah!

Lucy, teresa.

I am so freaked out
to meet you at last.

We're gonna be
sisters! Yay!

Yay!

It's a long story.
[ chuckles ]

So, you're all here.
Welcome to austin.

Thanks.
Yeah, it looks like we brought
the weather with us.

Fbi! [ laughs ]

Sorry, i'm freaking out
right now. [ laughs ]

Yeah, we got that.
Excuse me?

You all came.

Yeah. Already said that, t.
Jason: Let's go in!

Jason! Jason!
Come here!
Yeah!
Okay.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

[ chuckles ]
yay.

[ indistinct shouting ]

[ sighs ]

[ knock on door ]

Uh, excuse me, sir.

We have
an odd coincidence...

Or not. Maybe.

Austin p.D. Got
a missing-person's report

On a local television reporter
named dan glover.

The one
that interviewed jane.

Yeah, left work thursday night,
hasn't been seen since.

The weird thing is,
he called here

Right around the time he was
last seen. I spoke to him.

He said he wanted to
interview jane again,

And i said
he was unavailable

Because he was
getting...Married.

So, you're not even sure
if you spoke to glover?

No, i mean,
i was certain at the time.

Obviously, it was
his caller i.D., but now --

So, we have to assume
the killer's alive
and looking for jane.

How many agents are you gonna
have at the wedding?

Four, but now i think
we should probably have more.

At least 10.

We're gonna need eyes
on the front and backyards

And the surrounding
neighborhoods.

We should have a chopper
on standby

In case
we need to pursue.

Yes, sir.

But wouldn't it be wiser
to just postpone the wedding?

Postpone the wedding?
We're the fbi.

There is that upside.

We can use the wedding
as bait...Kind of.

I'm gonna go check
on that chopper.

Still think we shouldn't tell
jane and lisbon?

We're the fbi.

Just like you said,
we can handle it.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Patrick: Abbott.

Hmm? Hey.

[ telephone ringing ]

What were you and cho and tork
huddled about?

Nothing special.

Nothing special
that's keeping you here

When you could be in prague
with your lovely wife?

[ chuckles ]

You know,
she doesn't need me around.

I...I get in the way.

[ laughs ]
you're lying to me.

I won't pursue the point

Because you would tell me
if it was something important.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, of course.

I-if i thought

That it was something
that we couldn't handle.

Ah.

You know, um...

...I've been getting
some calls about you,

And my bosses want to know
if you're sticking around.

That's a good question.

Mm.

All right, well,
no pressure.

But if you're going,
there is some legal stuff

That we need to handle to
expunge that deal that we made.

The napkin?
Mm-hmm. [ laughs ]

I'm getting married
tomorrow.

Mm-hmm.

Then i'm building a house,
and...Beyond that,

I genuinely have no idea.

And i can't
do this job forever,

But it's gonna be tough
to give up.

Yeah, it's hard giving up
making a difference, huh?

No, everyone
makes a difference.

Hard to give up
the chase.

Oh, yeah.

That it is.

[ chuckles ]

So, you, uh,
let me know when you know.

I will.

It has been very good
working with you, patrick.

You too, dennis.

I really appreciate
your honesty.

I love you for that.

Thank you.

[ sighs ]

Okay, you got me.
I was lying.

There is something
i need to talk to you about.

[ sighs ]

[ sniffles ]

Hey.
Hi.

Nice flowers.

Mm.
They're centerpieces.

It's a sylvan theme.

Sylvan theme.
All right. Cool, i guess.

How many...People are
actually coming to this thing?

Nobody knows exactly.
[ sighs ]

Okay.

[ crying ] how did this happen?
This is not what i wanted.

[ sighs deeply ]

Well, i like
the sylvan theme.

We should have just
eloped like you said.

What about your family?

Oh, they wouldn't care.
I just talked to them
at the hotel.

They found a minibar.

They're like cavemen
arguing over a dead antelope.

All right, well, uh...
Let's run, huh?

We'll tell nobody,
just the judge.

I'll have her meet us
at our little cabin

Tomorrow morning.

The cabin?

Just us.

What, you think
the judge would do that?

Well, sure.

I mean, she's driving in
from san antonio tonight.

Change of venue makes
no difference to her.

Well,
what about the witnesses?

We'll get someone,
a park ranger.

[ chuckles ]

You know what?
Let's do it.
Yeah.

It's our life, damn it.
Yes.

I love you. Thank you.
I love you, too.

Hey, there's a --
i'm gonna go get my dress,

And i'm gonna go
to the airstream.

I'll meet you there.

Well, there's another
very good reason

Why we should elope,
all right?

Keller is apparently
still alive,

And he's mad at me
for some reason.

Oh, my god.

Yeah, so cho and his people
are gonna stake out this house.

When keller shows up,
they'll nab him.

You were gonna withhold
this information from me?
Huh?

You were gonna deprive me
of a guilt-free elopement?

I just told you.

You almost didn't!

From now on, we need to be
100% honest with each other.

I agree with you 100%.
Okay.

Honesty.
I am gonna go...
Get my dress.

Fire up the airstream.
You go, girl.

Hi. Judge hamilton,
patrick jane.

Uh, there's been
a change of venue.

Okay.
No problem, mr. Jane.

If you just text me
the exact address

And perhaps
a decent motel nearby.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Great. Bye.

[ door closes ]

[ engine turns over ]

[ birds chirping ]

We got four agents
on the roof,

Five dressed as catering
and valet service,

Six on the perimeter,

And six undercover mobiles
covering the approach roads.

When the guests
get here,

I'll gather them inside
and explain the situation.

Most of them
are law enforcement,

So they'll understand.

What is it, wylie?

Office got a call off the bolo
from a clerk

At the south austin
registry office.

A man with extensive burns
came in yesterday

And pretended to fill out
a form.

The clerk thinks
he may have taken a peek

At the marriage-license forms
on her desk.

So that confirms it.
He is coming to the wedding.

Well, we got it covered.
Why are you so anxious, wylie?

I know all the state forms from
when i used to work downtown.

The marriage-license form
doesn't ask

Where the wedding is.

It just asks
who the officiant is.

Well,
that's the judge.

Yeah.

[ ducks quacking ]

[ breathes deeply ]

Hey, you.

Patrick: Hi.

Wow.

Well, no matter what happens,
from this point on,

We have to promise each other
that we will always

Look on
the bright side.

I promise.

Me too.

[ breathing heavily ]
[ gun cocks ]

Freeze!
Drop the gun!

[ guns cocking ]

[ handcuffs clicking ]

And see how much better
things turn out

When you're honest
with me?

Thank you.

Let's do this.

No hard feelings.

[ sighs ]

Patrick, do you take teresa
to be your lawful, wedded wife,

To have and to hold
in sickness and health,

For better or for worse,
till death do you part?

I sure do.

And, you, teresa,
do you take patrick

To be your lawful,
wedded husband,

To have and to hold
in sickness and health,

For better or for worse,
till death do you part?

I do.

Then by the power granted me
by the state of texas,

I declare you husband
and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[ cheers and applause ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
patrick and teresa.

[ earth, wind & fire's
"september" plays ]

[ whistles ]

Aah!
[ laughs ]

¶ do you remember
the 21st night of september? ¶

¶ love was changing
the minds of pretenders ¶

¶ while chasing
the clouds away ¶

Who wants to hug me?
Come on.

Ohh! [ laughs ]

¶ our hearts were ringing ¶

¶ in the key that our souls
were singing ¶
[ indistinct conversations ]

¶ as we danced in the night ¶

¶ remember how the stars
stole the night away? ¶

¶ oh, oh, oh ¶

¶ ba de ya ¶

¶ say, do you remember ¶

¶ ba de ya ¶

¶ dancing in september? ¶

¶ ba de ya ¶
[ camera shutter clicks ]

¶ never was a cloudy day ¶

[ scatting ]

¶ my thoughts are with you ¶

¶ holding hands with your heart
to see you ¶

¶ only blue talk and love ¶

¶ remember how we knew
love was here to stay? ¶

¶ now, december found the love
that we shared in september ¶

How you feeling?

I am so happy.

Me too.

Me too.

[ cheering in distance ]

There's something
i need to tell you.

[ insects chirping ]

No, you're --
you're kidding me?

I'm not kidding.

You are?

I am.

[ both laugh ]