The Masked Singer (2019–…): Season 8, Episode 8 - Comedy Roast Night - full transcript
Jenny, they're ready
for you on set.
Nick: Get ready for
"Masked Singer" Comedy Night.
( yelping )
I'm okay.
♪ Make 'em laugh,
make 'em laugh ♪
♪ Don't you know
everyone wants to laugh? ♪
Good luck tonight, Jenny.
♪ My dad said,
"Be an actor, my son ♪
♪ But be a comical one"
- ( sighs )
- ♪ Make 'em laugh
( horn honks )
( groaning )
♪ Yeah, I'm fine
♪ Now you see me shine
from a mile ♪
♪ Finally got back
that smile ♪
♪ Smile, woohoo
♪ Smile
♪ 'Cause I finally,
'cause I finally, woohoo ♪
- Oh, yeah! Whoo!
- Yeah!
Welcome to
"The Masked Singer."
It's Comedy Roast Night,
where we finally get the chance
to not take ourselves
too seriously.
( hooting )
And who better to open
our comedy night
than our very own
Dr. Ken Jeong?
Yeah!
Yes!
Thank you. Thank you.
Good to see you, Nickelback.
Great to see you.
- Nickelback.
- I've never seen someone host
a show in pajamas before,
but I know Nick is tired.
He's been up all night
memorizing his kids' names.
- Oh, boy!
- Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Nick: I think
you're losing them, Ken.
- Can I finish
my monologue, Daddy?
- Please do. Carry on.
- I have nothing else to say.
- Yeah! Ken Jeong.
- You know I have
something to say.
- What?
- Sit your ass down.
- Oh!
- Hey, hey. Oh, oh, oh!
- Roasting all night. All night.
- We roasting all night.
- We roasting?
- We roasting.
- You know what?
You wouldn't talk
to Donny Osmond like that,
and you know that for a fact.
Dr. Ken Jeong,
ladies and gentlemen.
He looks like an orangutan.
We've already
lost control, y'all.
All right, well,
let's get to it.
The reigning queen
of "Masked Singer" is here.
Queen Bride has returned
to defend her crown
against two
brand new challengers.
- Both: Yeah!
- They all want the crown,
so you know
they gotta throw down.
Jenny: Yes!
Can the queen defend her title?
She's got a pretty good chance
if she brings the same
monster energy as last time.
Check this out.
♪ Hey now,
you're a rock star ♪
♪ Get the show on,
get paid ♪
♪ All that glitters is gold
♪ Only shooting stars
break the mold ♪
The queen is the Bride!
Bride:
Beating Gopher last week in
the Battle Royale was killer.
I'm a shooting star
tonight, baby!
I know it's not ladylike
to showboat,
but this queen
just can't help herself.
Two new challengers are
knocking on my kingdom's door.
But the claws are out,
and this queen is ready
to conquer anyone that comes
between me and my crown.
( roars )
I'm still getting rocker vibes.
Now I know
you're all dying to know
who this blushing bride is,
so here's another juicy clue.
Ring any wedding bells?
"Act up" and "set list."
Maybe they can act and sing.
Bride: Speaking of weddings,
tonight's royal opus
is going out
to Mrs. McCarthy Wahlberg,
who wasn't fooling anyone
with that white wedding dress.
( laughing )
That's rude.
It was ivory,
so he's half right.
Ivory.
♪ Hey, little sister,
what have you done? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister,
who's the holy one? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister,
who's your Superman? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister,
who's the one you want? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister, shotgun
♪ Well, it's a nice day for--
start again ♪
♪ Ow! Come on
♪ It's a nice day
for a white wedding ♪
- Not hearing any British.
- Who is this?
♪ It's a nice day
to start again, yeah ♪
♪ There is nothing safe
in this world ♪
♪ And there's fair
in this world ♪
♪ And there's nothing sure
in this world ♪
♪ And there's nothing pure
in this world ♪
♪ And if there's something
left in this world ♪
- He sounds familiar.
- I know. It's a big star.
♪ Start again
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
for a white wedding ♪
Let me see you
clap your hands!
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
to start again ♪
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
to start again ♪
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
for a white wedding ♪
♪ Yeah
- Ow!
- Ken: Yeah!
Yeah! Wow.
He's gotta be a musician.
Holy matrimony!
The Bride has done it again.
Yes!
- Robin: Wow.
- Can I just say,
here comes the Bride
ready to snatch
that Masked Singer Trophy!
- Yes!
- Nicole: Yes.
Jenny:
And I love the chutzpah.
Even the little insult,
I let that pass.
I thought you really kicked butt
in this performance.
- Good job.
- Nicole: Yeah.
Ow!
Nick: There it is.
But I know what we need.
We need a clue, right?
Yeah, I need a clue.
And we're gonna get that
from a comedy legend.
You know him from "SNL"
and movies on movies,
and he's currently
touring the U. S.
- Mr. Jon Lovitz!
- No way!
- Oh, my God.
- Robin: Yeah!
All right, roast away, Jon.
And now your clue for Bride.
They have a movie career
and they like to show off
their chest,
just like Jenny McCarthy...
- Oh, my--
- Oh!
...minus the movie career.
It's kind of true.
- Nick:
Jon Lovitz, everybody.
- Thank you, thank you.
We love it.
Now, Bride, that was a roast.
That was jokes.
But can you tell us
a little bit more
about what Jon Lovitz
had to say with that clue.
I just want to say
the Rex appeal
is off the charts tonight,
am I right?
- Yes!
- The Rex appeal.
Nick: All right,
so all puns aside,
are any these clues
helping you guys?
Robin: Well, it's
a little confusing right now.
However, somebody with
this personality and spirit,
rocker who also is a movie star,
has been in many movies,
and loves to go shirtless
when he's performing
and when he's in films,
could this possibly be, from
the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Flea?
- Oh.
- Jenny: Oh, my gosh.
Nicole: Good energy.
He likes to show off more
than his chest sometimes though.
Nick: What you got, Ken?
Bride is Matthew McConaughey,
and I'll tell you why.
Movie, take off a shirt.
He always takes off his shirt.
Set list, he is always on a set.
He's an A-list.
Act up, he acts.
And then when he does
a scene with the sky,
he looks up.
This is-- all right,
all right, all right--
Matthew McConaughey,
it's an honor.
- No! That's so silly.
- How dare you?
That is an honor amongst honors,
Mr. Ken Jeong. Thank you.
And he's speaking
with a fake British accent
and he's from Texas.
I love it.
- Wow.
- All right, Nicole,
make some sense out of this.
Look, Nick, last week
I thought because he was
hitting them high notes,
he was a singer
who's done some acting.
But now with the "act up" clue,
I feel like it's an actor
who does some singing, right?
And his energy is electric,
it's explosive.
And who's known
for being a live wire?
David Arquette.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Ken: Wow, good guess.
Robin: That's a good guess.
- And he's not afraid to try
new stuff, so it makes sense.
- Ken: Right.
That's true though.
The clues fit.
There it is.
That's a good guess, guys.
- Yes.
- I like it,
I like it, I like it.
Now I gotta ask the Bride
one more thing.
Queen Bride, you have
two challengers
that have a lot
to prove tonight.
- Are you worried?
- Do I look like I'm worried?
I'm a giant freaking
dinosaur, man!
( shouting )
- Who is that?
- Well, one thing we do know,
that was an amazing performance.
- Yes!
- Head on back to the lair,
and we'll see you again
during the big vote.
- Keep it going for the Bride.
- Robin: Yeah! Bride!
Killed it. Killed it.
Nick: Help the Bride out,
Men In Black.
I nailed it,
and the chicks in the crowd
were going bananas.
This is the Bride's time.
Here comes the Bride!
Aw, yeah!
Oh, my gosh.
I am loving Comedy Night.
Oh, me, too.
This is great.
You should kind of
get into comedy.
You ever think about that?
♪ Who is that?
♪ Who is that?
Welcome back
to our "Masked Singer"
Comedy Roast Night.
Up next, coming in hot,
it's the Snowstorm.
♪ We're cool for the summer
( vocalizing )
Ooh! Oh, my gosh!
Look at that costume.
That's gorgeous.
Look at that, body, Jenny!
She is a tall, lovely lady.
♪ We're cool for the summer
All iced out.
( music continues )
♪ We're cool for the summer
- Wow.
- Okay, Snowstorm.
Hey, y'all, let me tell you
something funny.
To do what I do,
you gotta be cold-blooded.
So, becoming Snowstorm
actually makes sense for me.
And while I can be a total
"B-lizzard" when I wanna be,
I swear, I am just
the sweetest thing.
"Sweetest Thing."
Like the movie?
Like Cameron Diaz.
I started working
when I was 18,
and it took tight two years
to see myself on the screen,
'cause being a woman,
I've snowplow my way
into a male-dominated
industry.
Things haven't always
been pitch perfect.
"Pitch Perfect."
Anna Kendrick.
I've had some failures,
but bombing wildly
has made me fearless.
So this song goes out to my
favorite fearless lady Nicole,
who has had more famous exes
than Nick has had baby mamas.
- Robin: Oh!
- Really?
- Zing.
- That's a lot of baby mamas.
♪ Thought I'd end up with Sean
♪ But he wasn't a match
♪ Wrote some songs about Ricky
♪ Now I listen and laugh
- Ooh.
- ♪ Even almost got married
- ♪ And to Nick,
I'm so thankful ♪
- I feel like I know that voice.
♪ Wish I could say
thank you to Malcolm ♪
♪ 'Cause he was an angel
♪ One taught me love
♪ One taught me patience
♪ One taught me pain
♪ Now, I'm so amazing
♪ I've loved and I've lost
♪ But that's not what I see
♪ Look what I found
♪ Look what you taught me
♪ And for that, I'll say
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
♪ Thank--
say thank you, next ♪
♪ Say thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next,
thank you, next ♪
Yes!
♪ One day I'll walk
down the aisle ♪
♪ Holding hands with my mama
♪ We'll be thinking 'bout Dad
♪ 'Cause we grew
from the drama ♪
♪ Only wanna do it once
real bad ♪
♪ Gon' make that stuff last
♪ God forbid,
something happens ♪
♪ Least this song is a smash
♪ I got so much love
♪ I got so much patience
♪ I've learned from the pain
♪ I turned out amazing
♪ I've loved and I've lost
♪ That's not what I see
♪ Look what I've found
- Whoo!
- ♪ Ain't no need
for searching ♪
♪ And for that I'll say
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
♪ Say thank you, next
♪ Say thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
- Eh. No, not you.
- Wow!
- Yeah!
- That was amazing!
Robin: Whoo!
Who is that?
Nick: Wow. Snowstorm.
Jenny, talk to the Snowstorm.
I think you were even bigger
than a snowstorm.
You were like a snow blizzard.
You came here and dominated
this competition!
- Yes, Jenny.
- Aw, thank you.
She got one of the coolest tones
of the entire season, right?
- Right?
- It was driving me crazy,
because I feel like
I know the voice.
- Right?
- Really?
- It sounded familiar.
- Yes! That's like a pop star
voice right there,
I feel like.
Thank you, Nicole.
Thank you.
Well, let's get some assistance
from the comedy club.
Over to Mr. Jon Lovitz.
Thank you.
Okay, here's your clue
for Snowstorm.
She has shared the stage with
A-list superstars like Rob Lowe,
and non-A-listers
like Dr. Ken.
Yeah, Ken's parents spent all
that money for medical school
to have him guess the Unicorn
is Tori Spelling.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Jon Lovitz!
So you gotta tell me,
it's all about the jokes,
but were there any clues
in there?
What do you have to say
about what Mr. Jon Lovitz said?
Oh, yeah,
those were all accurate,
and-- um, I'm sorry.
I'm so scared
to get too close to you.
I don't wanna get pregnant.
So I'm gonna...
- Oh!
- Oh, she's funny.
Jenny: Drop the mic.
- That's pretty cold.
- Or maybe I do.
- ( laughs )
- Nicole: She's cold-blooded.
She told you
she is cold-blooded, Nick.
Are you guys picking up
on any clues?
You know, it said that Snowstorm
worked with Rob Lowe and me,
so first of all, I thought
about Heather Graham,
my friend from "The Hangover,"
and also worked with Rob Lowe
in the "Austin Powers" movies.
But then this voice
is so good,
it could be "Parks and Rec"
star Kathryn Hahn.
I starred with her
on "The Goods."
She is one of
the best comedic and dramatic
actors working today.
Roasting chestnuts could be
from "Bad Moms Christmas."
- Ooh! Ooh, ooh!
- I think this could be
Kathryn Hahn.
- Thank you for not booing.
- Great guess, Ken.
But for me, the clues point
to Zooey Deschanel.
- Jenny: Oh, I love Zooey.
- Ken: Oh, great guess.
Okay?
You saw them roasted nuts.
Chestnuts roasting
on an open fire.
Makes me think of "Elf."
However, I don't think
that's Zooey's voice.
And this is Comedy Night,
and she's funny.
She's got jokes, Nick.
So I think this could be
a roast comic.
This could be
Iliza Shlesinger.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Oh, I love Iliza.
Jenny:
I love that guess!
You know, I think that
Nicole's onto something
- with this being Comedy Night.
- Yes, yes.
I really believe that some
of the new contestants tonight
- might be comedy-based.
- Ken: Right.
So somebody who comes to mind
who does comedy
and has worked with you,
and I'm pretty sure
has worked with Rob Lowe
is Aubrey Plaza.
Ken: Oh, yeah.
"Parks and Rec."
- Aubrey worked with Rob, yes.
- Right, right.
But then I think
the chestnuts roasting,
I think it's about somebody
who's a professional roaster.
- Yes.
- Robin: You know
what I'm saying?
I think that this might be
the comedian Whitney Cummings.
- I love Whitney Cummings!
- All: Oh!
Ken: Great guess.
I mean, obviously
we all could be wrong,
but at least we're not
embarrassed by these guesses.
Some good guesses, y'all.
Give it up for
the cold-blooded Snowstorm.
We'll see you later on
in the big vote.
- I've gotta know who that is.
- Oh, yeah.
Like, when it's a female voice
like that, Ken...
I think it's a comic.
I just wanna say to
my competition tonight,
sing like everybody's watching.
Because they are.
Especially your classmates
from high school
who are currently judging
and texting each other
about you
and your life decisions.
♪ Who is that?
♪ Who is that?
Welcome back to our
laugh-tacular Comedy Roast Night
here on "The Masked Singer."
Jenny: So fun!
Up next,
here to guac your world,
it's the Avocado!
♪ Red light, green light
Robin: Oh! Okay.
♪ What you waiting for?
- Avocado!
- Oh, my gosh! I love him.
- Oh, he's cool!
- Nicole: Oh, my God.
That's a cute costume.
Ken: So adorable.
♪ So give me
the green light ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm ready to go
Okay, this could be deceiving,
'cause is he short or tall?
- Yeah, you don't know.
- Jenny: He's adorable.
- I think the face
is up where Nick is.
- Right?
♪ Give me the green light
Look at that costume.
Only on this show.
Yeah, sure,
I'm a funny guy now,
but I'm lightyears away
from where I first started.
( screeches, squawks )
I used to be an average joe
working in construction.
Real get your hands dirty
kind of job.
- "Dirty Jobs."
- Oh, Mike Rowe.
But I didn't want to
work outside forever.
I wanted
that air-conditioned life,
and I really wanted
to make people laugh.
- 'Ey!
- ( laughing )
So on a whim, I met a buddy
who helped me trade in my tools
for some sweet, sweet AC.
After some success,
I wanted to expand my reach,
so I took risk
on a whole new venture.
And it became
a billion-dollar industry.
Wow, a billion-dollar industry.
What is he, like, a podcast?
So what the heck
am I doing here?
Well, it's Comedy Roast Night,
and I'm dedicating
this diss track
to the comedian
who's legally required
to appear on every Fox show.
Spoiler alert.
That's you, Ken.
( laughs )
( laughs )
Love it. Love-- thank you.
Thank you, Avocado!
- ♪ Hit the road, Jack
- Baby, please!
♪ No more, no more,
no more, no more ♪
♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ And don'cha come back
no more ♪
♪ Well, woman, oh, woman,
don't treat me so mean ♪
♪ You're the meanest old woman
that I ever seen ♪
- Who is that?
- ♪ I guess if you say so
♪ I have to pack my things
and go ♪
- ♪ That's right
- ♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ No more, no more, no more
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
♪ Now, baby, listen, baby,
don't you treat me this way ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be back
on my feet someday ♪
♪ Well, I guess if you say so
♪ I have to pack my things
and go ♪
- ♪ That's right
- ♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ And don'cha come back
no more ♪
- This is someone I know.
- ♪ No more, no more, no more
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
What you say?
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
♪ No more, no more, no more
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
Well...
♪ Don'cha come back no more
...this is the pits.
♪ Come back no more
This avocado is toast.
Don't guac block me, baby!
I want my ripe sticker back.
Don't put me
in a brown paper bag.
I guess I'll just guac away.
- Robin: Yeah!
- Guac away!
Come on!
Nick: Oh, yeah.
Y'all keep it going
for the Avocado.
Yo, I don't know
if y'all heard
one of those lyrics.
He said,
"Don't guac block me."
No guac blocking
on this show here.
- Oh, my God.
- All right, panel,
tell 'em about that fun
and wonderful performance.
You know what?
I can tell this is not
your first time on stage.
You're an entertainer,
and you really made us laugh
during that performance.
- Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
- Wow, wow.
All right, well, once again,
please keep it going
for Jon Lovitz over there
with the roast.
- Ken: Jon Lovitz!
- Jenny: Oh!
Thank you, thank you.
So funny.
I love it so much.
Okay, here's your clue
for Avocado.
Now he's really
into home renovation,
but it's not like
he's a Property Brother, right?
Those guys are handsome.
Avocado has a face
you wanna listen to.
Nick: Oh, ho, ho!
Oh, Jon Lovitz with the roast.
Hold on, Lovitz!
When's the last time someone
mistook you for George Clooney?
Oh!
When's the last time you passed
a mirror you didn't crack?
Ken: Ah!
When's the last time
you made a joke that was funny?
- Nick: Oh!
- Whoa!
Whoa, Nick!
This is like "Mild 'N Out."
You know what I mean?
This is amazing.
- Jenny: "Mild 'N Out."
- Yep.
- I'm just the messenger.
- Nick: Indeed.
Okay, there's a lot
of back and forth roasting
going on up here,
but is that giving
you guys any clues
of who this could possibly be?
Yes, I think it's Harrison Ford,
and I'll tell you why.
( crowd jeering )
I'm going big
or I'm going home.
It's Comedy Night, people.
You're supposed to laugh.
I mean, look, seriously,
we did see carpentry clues.
I mean, Harrison Ford
did start as a carpenter.
And it said a billion-dollar
industry, right?
"Star Wars." Don't hate.
- But Jon said the clue about--
- You wanna listen to somebody.
You wanna listen to it.
Who has the most lucrative
podcast in the world?
I'm sorry. Joe Rogan.
The comedy mask,
he started out in stand-up.
I like it. I'm going
in that direction as well.
The comedy mask made me
think of a comic
and maybe someone
from, like, "The Joker,"
- like a Marc Maron.
- Nicole: Ooh.
Jenny:
He also has his own podcast.
- Oh, great guess.
- Right?
Seems like he's got
that kind of old-timey
sense of humor.
Nick: That's a good one.
Robin, what you got?
Uh, you know,
I'm having a little trouble
because I'm not as, uh--
- Um...
- Smart?
- Smart as you.
- Yep, yep.
- That's right.
- Nick: Ooh.
- Nailed it.
- Ken, when you turn off
the lights at night,
- does your jacket
keep you awake?
- You know what?
Hey, how's that
button boycott going, huh?
- Okay, great.
- Me and Nick,
we're on the same bus.
- Exactly.
- No, I'm just not--
I'm not as adept
in the podcast world,
but all the clues are pointing
to somebody for me.
Construction,
make people laugh,
I'm thinking
it could be Tim Allen
from "Home Improvement."
- Nicole: Right.
- Ah!
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
You know what? The mic could
be from voiceover work.
- Ken: Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
'Cause he was Buzz Lightyear.
- That's right.
- Robin: You see?
You're only as smart
as the people you're
sitting next to.
Yeah.
Nick: We have lost control
on Comedy Night.
Everybody got jokes.
But somebody who is no joke
is the Avocado!
Keep it going for him.
Go dip your feet
in some lemon juice
or something like that.
It's time for the Avocado
to dip out.
Oh!
So you've seen three
incredible performances.
Now it's time for you all
in the studio audience
to vote for your favorite.
Remember, the two characters
with the most votes
will face off
in the Battle Royale.
The other singer
will be unmasked.
You can fight about who's
leaving while we take a break.
Be right back.
♪ Who is that?
♪ Who is that?
Welcome back to
"The Masked Singer."
We're jump straight
into those results
to see who's moving on
and who's moving out.
Can she keep her crown
or will the Bride
falter at the altar?
No, no.
Has she blown
the audience away,
or have their votes
pushed Snowstorm
"white-out"
of the competition?
And will he come back
next time,
or is Avocado a "Hass-been"?
- Oh, who's it gonna be?
- We about to find out
right now.
Somebody's gotta go home, Ken.
Leaving us tonight
and unmasking first is...
Oh, gosh.
The Bride.
- Both: What?
- Robin: Oh.
- That's an upset.
- Total upset.
Wow. Well, show some love
for Snowstorm and Avocado.
You need to head back
and get your heads in the game
for the Battle Royale.
But we gotta keep it going
and show some love to the Bride.
- We're so sorry...
- Oh, Bride looks sad.
- I know.
- ...that we gotta see you go,
but we can't wait
to see who you are.
But, panel, you gotta give us
your final guesses.
- ( groaning )
- Who is the Bride?
Ken: Well, I mean, look.
First of all,
I just have to say I'm stunned
that you're eliminated
because I thought you were
a consistent performer.
You did an amazing job.
Really.
And in all sincerity
in my heart,
this can be only one.
This is Matthew McConaughey.
- And he's dead serious,
everybody, still.
- Nick: He's serious.
- Wha--
- ( jeering )
Jenny: You know what, Ken?
I'll give you this.
He does like
to take his shirt off,
but he's not an action star,
and last week there was
an action star clue.
Now if I were to take those
and put them together--
action star, shirtless,
I come up with Vin Diesel.
- Ken: That's a good guess.
- Okay.
We had Tyrese on this show.
Why not have Vin Diesel?
- Ken: Yes. Oh, exactly.
- Welcome to
"The Masked Singer."
- Exactly.
- Nick: That is true.
Do y'all really think
that that's Vin Diesel?
- Yes, I do.
- Why not?
Um, you know,
the energy, the spirit,
early on we had
all these rocker vibes,
but then we see these new clues.
He doesn't like
to wear a shirt, right?
Likes to act up.
I just-- I think
that this could be--
from the Red Hot Chili Peppers,
I think this could be Flea.
- That's who I think it is.
- Okay.
Robin:
That's what I think.
I think that's a great guess,
and I think he'd be perfect
on our show.
Nick: Nicole?
I'm kind of picking up
what you're putting down, Robin.
So, earlier,
I said David Arquette,
because it said "act up," right?
- Both: Right.
- Right?
So I was going acting vibes.
But now I just can't deny
those vocals.
The energy, the high notes,
this could be Sammy Hagar
from Van Halen.
Come on!
Ken: Yeah.
All right, well, let's see
if any of you are correct.
Bride, we need to know,
who are you?
Audience, say it with me.
- All: Take it off! Take it off!
- ♪ Who are you?
- Take it off!
- Take it off.
Take it off!
Take it off!
- ♪ Oh, I really wanna know
- Oh, oh.
- All: Take it off!
- ♪ Come on, tell me
♪ Who are you, you, you
- ♪ Are you?
- Come on, Sammy!
And there he is!
AEW champion
and wrestle superstar!
Y'all give it up
for Chris Jericho!
Oh, my God!
Lead singer of Fozzy,
four-time "New York Times"
bestseller.
- A real action star.
- Oh!
Chris Jericho,
ladies and gentlemen.
That's why his shirt is off!
Chris, you gotta talk
to us, man.
What in the world made you
become a pink dinosaur
with a wedding dress on?
It's always been inside of me
my whole life,
and I finally got to do it.
Now, I gotta tell you,
I am shocked,
because I was having
a great time.
This costume was amazing.
It's best costume that
I've seen on the show,
and I'm disappointed
I got beaten by an avocado.
Nick: Right?
Only on "The Masked Singer."
Only on "The Masked Singer."
Exactly.
Yeah!
I just wanna say, Chris,
I'm a legit fan.
Seriously,
I've followed your career
ever since, you know,
when you were back
in the WWE, WCW days.
Charismatic performer,
singer, as well as,
you know,
a superstar athlete.
I'm a legit fan, and I'm kind of
starstruck right now.
Aw, thanks, Ken.
Thanks, man. Thank you.
Chris Jericho
in the building.
You can head on backstage,
get changed.
Hang out with us
in the VIP section.
One more time, y'all,
for the Bride!
Chris Jericho.
- That's a shocker.
- Right?
- I'm so sad.
- He wanted it. He wanted it.
- But it reminds you,
this means something.
- It means something.
Anything can happen
on this show,
which means we have
a new king or queen
being crowned tonight.
Will it be Snowstorm
or Avocado?
They're going head to head
in another Battle Royale.
It all goes down
right after the break.
♪ Who is that?
( fanfare )
Oh, I love this!
Battle Royale!
Announcer:
The time has come
for the Battle Royale!
It is indeed time
for the Battle Royale,
and here to oversee
is another special guest.
Ladies and gentlemen,
comedy legend,
formerly known as the Llama,
Mr. Drew Carey!
Hey, man. How's it going?
Nice to see you.
- Hello. Battle Royale!
- Oh, yeah, baby.
Battle Royale.
Snowstorm, I'm so glad
to see you here.
And I just wanna thank you
for making me late to work
all those times
back in Cleveland.
I'll never forget you
as long as I live.
You make me wanna keep
rock salt in my trunk.
( laughing )
And, Avocado, I don't have
any jokes for you,
because to be honest,
I thought you were gonna
get voted off.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Ken: Ah!
- Oh, my gosh.
- Everybody did.
The guy making me sign
the paperwork was like,
"Don't worry about Avocado."
Jenny: Oh!
Hey, thanks for having me
on your show, man.
- No problem.
- I really appreciate it.
You wanna start
the Battle Royale?
- Let's do it. Yeah.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah!
- Let's do it.
Drew Carey,
ladies and gentlemen.
Every performance tonight
has been dedicated
to a panelist,
and this song is especially
for my man Robin Thicke.
- Hey!
- So let the battle commence.
( music playing )
♪ You walked into the party
♪ Like you were walking
onto a yacht ♪
♪ Your hat strategically dipped
below one eye ♪
♪ Your scarf was apricot
♪ You had one eye
in the mirror ♪
♪ As you watched yourself
go by ♪
♪ And all the girls dreamed
that they'd be your partner ♪
♪ They'd be your partner,
and you're so vain ♪
♪ You probably think
this song is about you ♪
♪ You're so vain
♪ I bet you think this song
is about you ♪
♪ Don't you? Don't you?
♪ Don't you?
( vocalizing )
- He got you.
He got you, Robin.
- He got me good.
( music continues )
Jenny: Oh, my God!
The videos!
- Oh.
- ( laughing )
♪ You walked into the party
♪ Like you were walking
onto a yacht ♪
♪ Your hat strategically dipped
below one eye ♪
♪ Your scarf, it was apricot
♪ You had one eye
in the mirror ♪
♪ As you watched yourself
gavotte ♪
♪ And all the girls dreamed
that they'd be your partner ♪
♪ They'd be your partner
♪ And you're so vain
♪ I bet you think
this song is about you ♪
♪ You're so vain
♪ You're so vain
♪ I bet you think
this song is about you ♪
♪ Don't you? Don't you?
Don't you? ♪
The Battle Royale.
Snowstorm versus the Avocado.
- Whoo!
- Panel, talk about
those performances.
What a battle.
I mean, there's
huge stakes right now
because we have
a new reigning champion,
and I feel like you guys
did give it your all.
So it's up to us
to make that decision.
- No pressure.
- It's a tough call.
I mean,
one was just a very humorous
take on the song.
One was another effortless
version of that song.
It's just two ways to approach
Robin's intense vanity.
- Great. Yeah.
- Well, there you have it,
panel.
It is all on you right now.
Your votes will dictate the fate
of the Snowstorm
and the Avocado.
Start voting now.
We'll have the results
after the break.
We'll be right back.
♪ Who is that?
The king or queen
of "Masked Singer" tonight is...
Oh, I'm scared.
It could be another upset
right now.
It could be if you judged wrong.
( no audible dialogue )
- Snowstorm!
- Oh!
Congratulations.
You're one step closer
to the Golden Mask Trophy.
Enjoy being our new Snow Queen.
Wow, a new queen.
Nick: Knighted by the one
and only Drew Carey.
The Llama just showed love
to the Snowstorm.
And while we're showing love,
you guys keep it going
for the Avocado, y'all.
Step on up here, Avocado.
Oh, Avocado!
We are so sorry to see you go,
but we're so excited to see
who you actually are.
But before we get to that,
panel, you know what it is.
You know, I think that
all the clues
lead to this
comedian/actor/superstar.
The mic and the headphones
for his voiceover work
in "Toy Story."
Home renovation.
"Home Improvement."
I think this
has to be Tim Allen.
- All right. Good guess.
- Nicole: Yeah.
Jenny, what's your
final guesses?
Well, the comedy masks,
you know,
make me think of the Joker,
and he was in "The Joker."
He's also a great stand-up
and he happens to have
a very successful podcast.
This could be Marc Maron,
you guys.
- Robin: Marc Maron?
- Nicole: Yeah.
- All right.
- Great guess, but the clues
and tonight's comedy theme,
it does make me think
of someone
in the comedy podcast world.
You know what my favorite
podcast is right now
- is Dax Shepard's podcast.
- Ooh.
- Nicole: Dax Shepard.
- He and his wife,
- they're, like,
a down to earth couple...
- I love that guess.
...into home renovation.
I think this could be
Dax Shepard.
- Nicole: Nice.
- Okay.
Not bad.
Nicole, what you got?
Yeah, I'm jumping on
that podcast train, guys.
We had the comedy mask.
He started out in stand-up.
Now he's got the most lucrative
podcast in the world.
He did say he's a part of a
billion-dollar business, right?
- I think it's Joe Rogan.
- Jenny: I like it.
Okay.
Some really good guesses.
- Not bad.
- Let's see if any of you
are correct.
Avocado, we need to know,
who are you?
Audience, say it with me.
- Take it off! Take it off!
- ♪ Who are you?
- ♪ Who, who, who, who?
- Take it off!
- Take it off!
- How do they take it off?
- I don't-- how do you--
- What do they do?
- Jenny:
How do you get it off?
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God, who is this?
- ♪ Oh, I really wanna know
We need the Men In Black, guys.
- Men In Black, help us out.
- ♪ Tell me, who are you?
♪ You, you, are you?
Legendary comedian
Adam Carolla!
- What?
- Oh, oh! No!
Oh, no!
Nick:
Host of "The Man Show,"
"Loveline,"
podcaster and TV star.
I was gonna say it, and then
I'm like, "He's too tall."
- I was gonna say it!
- Oh!
Nick: He got everybody.
I gotta tell you, somebody
farted in this Avocado suit,
and it wasn't me.
- Nick: It wasn't you?
- No, I know my essence.
Speaking of essence, man,
it's so much fun
to have you here
on Comedy Night.
I mean, this is perfect.
Were you guys
surprised at all or--
I'm very mad at myself.
Literally, I was like,
"This has gotta be Adam,
but there's no way
'cause Adam's really tall."
And you looked so short
in that Avocado,
that I was, like--
I just canceled that out
every time you came
into my head.
I look shorter,
but it's slimming, right?
'Cause I'm wearing this home.
It's all yours, farts and all.
Jenny:
I'm so mad at myself.
You have that iconic,
classic voice.
- We all know that voice.
- Well, evidentially not.
- You got 'em good, Adam.
You got 'em good.
- Good.
- For real.
- Nick: And what a night.
I mean, to have
so many great comedians
and legends in the building.
I mean,
Drew Carey, Jon Lovitz,
wrestling superstar
Chris Jericho.
Adam Carolla,
is there anything you wanna say
to our panel
or the people at home?
You know, ever since
I was a young lad
growing up
in North Hollywood, California,
I dreamt of this moment.
And a scant 47 years later,
here I am.
So this is a dream realized.
And if I die tonight--
I'm gonna pissed, actually.
Nick: There it is.
The one and only
Adam Carolla, y'all.
It's been such a joy
having you here.
- Whoo!
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
There you have it.
That's all we got.
The Snowstorm
comes back next time
to face two new contenders
on our super spooky
Fright Night.
But right now, make some noise
for the artist formerly known
as the Avocado,
- Adam Carolla!
- Yeah!
♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ Don'cha come back
no more, no more,
♪ No more, no more,
hit the road, Jack ♪
♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ Don'cha come back no more
- Sing it, Adam!
- ♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ What you say?
for you on set.
Nick: Get ready for
"Masked Singer" Comedy Night.
( yelping )
I'm okay.
♪ Make 'em laugh,
make 'em laugh ♪
♪ Don't you know
everyone wants to laugh? ♪
Good luck tonight, Jenny.
♪ My dad said,
"Be an actor, my son ♪
♪ But be a comical one"
- ( sighs )
- ♪ Make 'em laugh
( horn honks )
( groaning )
♪ Yeah, I'm fine
♪ Now you see me shine
from a mile ♪
♪ Finally got back
that smile ♪
♪ Smile, woohoo
♪ Smile
♪ 'Cause I finally,
'cause I finally, woohoo ♪
- Oh, yeah! Whoo!
- Yeah!
Welcome to
"The Masked Singer."
It's Comedy Roast Night,
where we finally get the chance
to not take ourselves
too seriously.
( hooting )
And who better to open
our comedy night
than our very own
Dr. Ken Jeong?
Yeah!
Yes!
Thank you. Thank you.
Good to see you, Nickelback.
Great to see you.
- Nickelback.
- I've never seen someone host
a show in pajamas before,
but I know Nick is tired.
He's been up all night
memorizing his kids' names.
- Oh, boy!
- Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Nick: I think
you're losing them, Ken.
- Can I finish
my monologue, Daddy?
- Please do. Carry on.
- I have nothing else to say.
- Yeah! Ken Jeong.
- You know I have
something to say.
- What?
- Sit your ass down.
- Oh!
- Hey, hey. Oh, oh, oh!
- Roasting all night. All night.
- We roasting all night.
- We roasting?
- We roasting.
- You know what?
You wouldn't talk
to Donny Osmond like that,
and you know that for a fact.
Dr. Ken Jeong,
ladies and gentlemen.
He looks like an orangutan.
We've already
lost control, y'all.
All right, well,
let's get to it.
The reigning queen
of "Masked Singer" is here.
Queen Bride has returned
to defend her crown
against two
brand new challengers.
- Both: Yeah!
- They all want the crown,
so you know
they gotta throw down.
Jenny: Yes!
Can the queen defend her title?
She's got a pretty good chance
if she brings the same
monster energy as last time.
Check this out.
♪ Hey now,
you're a rock star ♪
♪ Get the show on,
get paid ♪
♪ All that glitters is gold
♪ Only shooting stars
break the mold ♪
The queen is the Bride!
Bride:
Beating Gopher last week in
the Battle Royale was killer.
I'm a shooting star
tonight, baby!
I know it's not ladylike
to showboat,
but this queen
just can't help herself.
Two new challengers are
knocking on my kingdom's door.
But the claws are out,
and this queen is ready
to conquer anyone that comes
between me and my crown.
( roars )
I'm still getting rocker vibes.
Now I know
you're all dying to know
who this blushing bride is,
so here's another juicy clue.
Ring any wedding bells?
"Act up" and "set list."
Maybe they can act and sing.
Bride: Speaking of weddings,
tonight's royal opus
is going out
to Mrs. McCarthy Wahlberg,
who wasn't fooling anyone
with that white wedding dress.
( laughing )
That's rude.
It was ivory,
so he's half right.
Ivory.
♪ Hey, little sister,
what have you done? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister,
who's the holy one? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister,
who's your Superman? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister,
who's the one you want? ♪
♪ Hey, little sister, shotgun
♪ Well, it's a nice day for--
start again ♪
♪ Ow! Come on
♪ It's a nice day
for a white wedding ♪
- Not hearing any British.
- Who is this?
♪ It's a nice day
to start again, yeah ♪
♪ There is nothing safe
in this world ♪
♪ And there's fair
in this world ♪
♪ And there's nothing sure
in this world ♪
♪ And there's nothing pure
in this world ♪
♪ And if there's something
left in this world ♪
- He sounds familiar.
- I know. It's a big star.
♪ Start again
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
for a white wedding ♪
Let me see you
clap your hands!
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
to start again ♪
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
to start again ♪
♪ Come on, it's a nice day
for a white wedding ♪
♪ Yeah
- Ow!
- Ken: Yeah!
Yeah! Wow.
He's gotta be a musician.
Holy matrimony!
The Bride has done it again.
Yes!
- Robin: Wow.
- Can I just say,
here comes the Bride
ready to snatch
that Masked Singer Trophy!
- Yes!
- Nicole: Yes.
Jenny:
And I love the chutzpah.
Even the little insult,
I let that pass.
I thought you really kicked butt
in this performance.
- Good job.
- Nicole: Yeah.
Ow!
Nick: There it is.
But I know what we need.
We need a clue, right?
Yeah, I need a clue.
And we're gonna get that
from a comedy legend.
You know him from "SNL"
and movies on movies,
and he's currently
touring the U. S.
- Mr. Jon Lovitz!
- No way!
- Oh, my God.
- Robin: Yeah!
All right, roast away, Jon.
And now your clue for Bride.
They have a movie career
and they like to show off
their chest,
just like Jenny McCarthy...
- Oh, my--
- Oh!
...minus the movie career.
It's kind of true.
- Nick:
Jon Lovitz, everybody.
- Thank you, thank you.
We love it.
Now, Bride, that was a roast.
That was jokes.
But can you tell us
a little bit more
about what Jon Lovitz
had to say with that clue.
I just want to say
the Rex appeal
is off the charts tonight,
am I right?
- Yes!
- The Rex appeal.
Nick: All right,
so all puns aside,
are any these clues
helping you guys?
Robin: Well, it's
a little confusing right now.
However, somebody with
this personality and spirit,
rocker who also is a movie star,
has been in many movies,
and loves to go shirtless
when he's performing
and when he's in films,
could this possibly be, from
the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Flea?
- Oh.
- Jenny: Oh, my gosh.
Nicole: Good energy.
He likes to show off more
than his chest sometimes though.
Nick: What you got, Ken?
Bride is Matthew McConaughey,
and I'll tell you why.
Movie, take off a shirt.
He always takes off his shirt.
Set list, he is always on a set.
He's an A-list.
Act up, he acts.
And then when he does
a scene with the sky,
he looks up.
This is-- all right,
all right, all right--
Matthew McConaughey,
it's an honor.
- No! That's so silly.
- How dare you?
That is an honor amongst honors,
Mr. Ken Jeong. Thank you.
And he's speaking
with a fake British accent
and he's from Texas.
I love it.
- Wow.
- All right, Nicole,
make some sense out of this.
Look, Nick, last week
I thought because he was
hitting them high notes,
he was a singer
who's done some acting.
But now with the "act up" clue,
I feel like it's an actor
who does some singing, right?
And his energy is electric,
it's explosive.
And who's known
for being a live wire?
David Arquette.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Ken: Wow, good guess.
Robin: That's a good guess.
- And he's not afraid to try
new stuff, so it makes sense.
- Ken: Right.
That's true though.
The clues fit.
There it is.
That's a good guess, guys.
- Yes.
- I like it,
I like it, I like it.
Now I gotta ask the Bride
one more thing.
Queen Bride, you have
two challengers
that have a lot
to prove tonight.
- Are you worried?
- Do I look like I'm worried?
I'm a giant freaking
dinosaur, man!
( shouting )
- Who is that?
- Well, one thing we do know,
that was an amazing performance.
- Yes!
- Head on back to the lair,
and we'll see you again
during the big vote.
- Keep it going for the Bride.
- Robin: Yeah! Bride!
Killed it. Killed it.
Nick: Help the Bride out,
Men In Black.
I nailed it,
and the chicks in the crowd
were going bananas.
This is the Bride's time.
Here comes the Bride!
Aw, yeah!
Oh, my gosh.
I am loving Comedy Night.
Oh, me, too.
This is great.
You should kind of
get into comedy.
You ever think about that?
♪ Who is that?
♪ Who is that?
Welcome back
to our "Masked Singer"
Comedy Roast Night.
Up next, coming in hot,
it's the Snowstorm.
♪ We're cool for the summer
( vocalizing )
Ooh! Oh, my gosh!
Look at that costume.
That's gorgeous.
Look at that, body, Jenny!
She is a tall, lovely lady.
♪ We're cool for the summer
All iced out.
( music continues )
♪ We're cool for the summer
- Wow.
- Okay, Snowstorm.
Hey, y'all, let me tell you
something funny.
To do what I do,
you gotta be cold-blooded.
So, becoming Snowstorm
actually makes sense for me.
And while I can be a total
"B-lizzard" when I wanna be,
I swear, I am just
the sweetest thing.
"Sweetest Thing."
Like the movie?
Like Cameron Diaz.
I started working
when I was 18,
and it took tight two years
to see myself on the screen,
'cause being a woman,
I've snowplow my way
into a male-dominated
industry.
Things haven't always
been pitch perfect.
"Pitch Perfect."
Anna Kendrick.
I've had some failures,
but bombing wildly
has made me fearless.
So this song goes out to my
favorite fearless lady Nicole,
who has had more famous exes
than Nick has had baby mamas.
- Robin: Oh!
- Really?
- Zing.
- That's a lot of baby mamas.
♪ Thought I'd end up with Sean
♪ But he wasn't a match
♪ Wrote some songs about Ricky
♪ Now I listen and laugh
- Ooh.
- ♪ Even almost got married
- ♪ And to Nick,
I'm so thankful ♪
- I feel like I know that voice.
♪ Wish I could say
thank you to Malcolm ♪
♪ 'Cause he was an angel
♪ One taught me love
♪ One taught me patience
♪ One taught me pain
♪ Now, I'm so amazing
♪ I've loved and I've lost
♪ But that's not what I see
♪ Look what I found
♪ Look what you taught me
♪ And for that, I'll say
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
♪ Thank--
say thank you, next ♪
♪ Say thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next,
thank you, next ♪
Yes!
♪ One day I'll walk
down the aisle ♪
♪ Holding hands with my mama
♪ We'll be thinking 'bout Dad
♪ 'Cause we grew
from the drama ♪
♪ Only wanna do it once
real bad ♪
♪ Gon' make that stuff last
♪ God forbid,
something happens ♪
♪ Least this song is a smash
♪ I got so much love
♪ I got so much patience
♪ I've learned from the pain
♪ I turned out amazing
♪ I've loved and I've lost
♪ That's not what I see
♪ Look what I've found
- Whoo!
- ♪ Ain't no need
for searching ♪
♪ And for that I'll say
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ Thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
♪ Say thank you, next
♪ Say thank you, next
♪ I'm so freakin' grateful
for my ex ♪
- Eh. No, not you.
- Wow!
- Yeah!
- That was amazing!
Robin: Whoo!
Who is that?
Nick: Wow. Snowstorm.
Jenny, talk to the Snowstorm.
I think you were even bigger
than a snowstorm.
You were like a snow blizzard.
You came here and dominated
this competition!
- Yes, Jenny.
- Aw, thank you.
She got one of the coolest tones
of the entire season, right?
- Right?
- It was driving me crazy,
because I feel like
I know the voice.
- Right?
- Really?
- It sounded familiar.
- Yes! That's like a pop star
voice right there,
I feel like.
Thank you, Nicole.
Thank you.
Well, let's get some assistance
from the comedy club.
Over to Mr. Jon Lovitz.
Thank you.
Okay, here's your clue
for Snowstorm.
She has shared the stage with
A-list superstars like Rob Lowe,
and non-A-listers
like Dr. Ken.
Yeah, Ken's parents spent all
that money for medical school
to have him guess the Unicorn
is Tori Spelling.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Jon Lovitz!
So you gotta tell me,
it's all about the jokes,
but were there any clues
in there?
What do you have to say
about what Mr. Jon Lovitz said?
Oh, yeah,
those were all accurate,
and-- um, I'm sorry.
I'm so scared
to get too close to you.
I don't wanna get pregnant.
So I'm gonna...
- Oh!
- Oh, she's funny.
Jenny: Drop the mic.
- That's pretty cold.
- Or maybe I do.
- ( laughs )
- Nicole: She's cold-blooded.
She told you
she is cold-blooded, Nick.
Are you guys picking up
on any clues?
You know, it said that Snowstorm
worked with Rob Lowe and me,
so first of all, I thought
about Heather Graham,
my friend from "The Hangover,"
and also worked with Rob Lowe
in the "Austin Powers" movies.
But then this voice
is so good,
it could be "Parks and Rec"
star Kathryn Hahn.
I starred with her
on "The Goods."
She is one of
the best comedic and dramatic
actors working today.
Roasting chestnuts could be
from "Bad Moms Christmas."
- Ooh! Ooh, ooh!
- I think this could be
Kathryn Hahn.
- Thank you for not booing.
- Great guess, Ken.
But for me, the clues point
to Zooey Deschanel.
- Jenny: Oh, I love Zooey.
- Ken: Oh, great guess.
Okay?
You saw them roasted nuts.
Chestnuts roasting
on an open fire.
Makes me think of "Elf."
However, I don't think
that's Zooey's voice.
And this is Comedy Night,
and she's funny.
She's got jokes, Nick.
So I think this could be
a roast comic.
This could be
Iliza Shlesinger.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Oh, I love Iliza.
Jenny:
I love that guess!
You know, I think that
Nicole's onto something
- with this being Comedy Night.
- Yes, yes.
I really believe that some
of the new contestants tonight
- might be comedy-based.
- Ken: Right.
So somebody who comes to mind
who does comedy
and has worked with you,
and I'm pretty sure
has worked with Rob Lowe
is Aubrey Plaza.
Ken: Oh, yeah.
"Parks and Rec."
- Aubrey worked with Rob, yes.
- Right, right.
But then I think
the chestnuts roasting,
I think it's about somebody
who's a professional roaster.
- Yes.
- Robin: You know
what I'm saying?
I think that this might be
the comedian Whitney Cummings.
- I love Whitney Cummings!
- All: Oh!
Ken: Great guess.
I mean, obviously
we all could be wrong,
but at least we're not
embarrassed by these guesses.
Some good guesses, y'all.
Give it up for
the cold-blooded Snowstorm.
We'll see you later on
in the big vote.
- I've gotta know who that is.
- Oh, yeah.
Like, when it's a female voice
like that, Ken...
I think it's a comic.
I just wanna say to
my competition tonight,
sing like everybody's watching.
Because they are.
Especially your classmates
from high school
who are currently judging
and texting each other
about you
and your life decisions.
♪ Who is that?
♪ Who is that?
Welcome back to our
laugh-tacular Comedy Roast Night
here on "The Masked Singer."
Jenny: So fun!
Up next,
here to guac your world,
it's the Avocado!
♪ Red light, green light
Robin: Oh! Okay.
♪ What you waiting for?
- Avocado!
- Oh, my gosh! I love him.
- Oh, he's cool!
- Nicole: Oh, my God.
That's a cute costume.
Ken: So adorable.
♪ So give me
the green light ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm ready to go
Okay, this could be deceiving,
'cause is he short or tall?
- Yeah, you don't know.
- Jenny: He's adorable.
- I think the face
is up where Nick is.
- Right?
♪ Give me the green light
Look at that costume.
Only on this show.
Yeah, sure,
I'm a funny guy now,
but I'm lightyears away
from where I first started.
( screeches, squawks )
I used to be an average joe
working in construction.
Real get your hands dirty
kind of job.
- "Dirty Jobs."
- Oh, Mike Rowe.
But I didn't want to
work outside forever.
I wanted
that air-conditioned life,
and I really wanted
to make people laugh.
- 'Ey!
- ( laughing )
So on a whim, I met a buddy
who helped me trade in my tools
for some sweet, sweet AC.
After some success,
I wanted to expand my reach,
so I took risk
on a whole new venture.
And it became
a billion-dollar industry.
Wow, a billion-dollar industry.
What is he, like, a podcast?
So what the heck
am I doing here?
Well, it's Comedy Roast Night,
and I'm dedicating
this diss track
to the comedian
who's legally required
to appear on every Fox show.
Spoiler alert.
That's you, Ken.
( laughs )
( laughs )
Love it. Love-- thank you.
Thank you, Avocado!
- ♪ Hit the road, Jack
- Baby, please!
♪ No more, no more,
no more, no more ♪
♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ And don'cha come back
no more ♪
♪ Well, woman, oh, woman,
don't treat me so mean ♪
♪ You're the meanest old woman
that I ever seen ♪
- Who is that?
- ♪ I guess if you say so
♪ I have to pack my things
and go ♪
- ♪ That's right
- ♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ No more, no more, no more
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
♪ Now, baby, listen, baby,
don't you treat me this way ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be back
on my feet someday ♪
♪ Well, I guess if you say so
♪ I have to pack my things
and go ♪
- ♪ That's right
- ♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ And don'cha come back
no more ♪
- This is someone I know.
- ♪ No more, no more, no more
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
What you say?
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
♪ No more, no more, no more
♪ Hit the road, Jack,
and don'cha come back no more ♪
Well...
♪ Don'cha come back no more
...this is the pits.
♪ Come back no more
This avocado is toast.
Don't guac block me, baby!
I want my ripe sticker back.
Don't put me
in a brown paper bag.
I guess I'll just guac away.
- Robin: Yeah!
- Guac away!
Come on!
Nick: Oh, yeah.
Y'all keep it going
for the Avocado.
Yo, I don't know
if y'all heard
one of those lyrics.
He said,
"Don't guac block me."
No guac blocking
on this show here.
- Oh, my God.
- All right, panel,
tell 'em about that fun
and wonderful performance.
You know what?
I can tell this is not
your first time on stage.
You're an entertainer,
and you really made us laugh
during that performance.
- Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
- Wow, wow.
All right, well, once again,
please keep it going
for Jon Lovitz over there
with the roast.
- Ken: Jon Lovitz!
- Jenny: Oh!
Thank you, thank you.
So funny.
I love it so much.
Okay, here's your clue
for Avocado.
Now he's really
into home renovation,
but it's not like
he's a Property Brother, right?
Those guys are handsome.
Avocado has a face
you wanna listen to.
Nick: Oh, ho, ho!
Oh, Jon Lovitz with the roast.
Hold on, Lovitz!
When's the last time someone
mistook you for George Clooney?
Oh!
When's the last time you passed
a mirror you didn't crack?
Ken: Ah!
When's the last time
you made a joke that was funny?
- Nick: Oh!
- Whoa!
Whoa, Nick!
This is like "Mild 'N Out."
You know what I mean?
This is amazing.
- Jenny: "Mild 'N Out."
- Yep.
- I'm just the messenger.
- Nick: Indeed.
Okay, there's a lot
of back and forth roasting
going on up here,
but is that giving
you guys any clues
of who this could possibly be?
Yes, I think it's Harrison Ford,
and I'll tell you why.
( crowd jeering )
I'm going big
or I'm going home.
It's Comedy Night, people.
You're supposed to laugh.
I mean, look, seriously,
we did see carpentry clues.
I mean, Harrison Ford
did start as a carpenter.
And it said a billion-dollar
industry, right?
"Star Wars." Don't hate.
- But Jon said the clue about--
- You wanna listen to somebody.
You wanna listen to it.
Who has the most lucrative
podcast in the world?
I'm sorry. Joe Rogan.
The comedy mask,
he started out in stand-up.
I like it. I'm going
in that direction as well.
The comedy mask made me
think of a comic
and maybe someone
from, like, "The Joker,"
- like a Marc Maron.
- Nicole: Ooh.
Jenny:
He also has his own podcast.
- Oh, great guess.
- Right?
Seems like he's got
that kind of old-timey
sense of humor.
Nick: That's a good one.
Robin, what you got?
Uh, you know,
I'm having a little trouble
because I'm not as, uh--
- Um...
- Smart?
- Smart as you.
- Yep, yep.
- That's right.
- Nick: Ooh.
- Nailed it.
- Ken, when you turn off
the lights at night,
- does your jacket
keep you awake?
- You know what?
Hey, how's that
button boycott going, huh?
- Okay, great.
- Me and Nick,
we're on the same bus.
- Exactly.
- No, I'm just not--
I'm not as adept
in the podcast world,
but all the clues are pointing
to somebody for me.
Construction,
make people laugh,
I'm thinking
it could be Tim Allen
from "Home Improvement."
- Nicole: Right.
- Ah!
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
You know what? The mic could
be from voiceover work.
- Ken: Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
'Cause he was Buzz Lightyear.
- That's right.
- Robin: You see?
You're only as smart
as the people you're
sitting next to.
Yeah.
Nick: We have lost control
on Comedy Night.
Everybody got jokes.
But somebody who is no joke
is the Avocado!
Keep it going for him.
Go dip your feet
in some lemon juice
or something like that.
It's time for the Avocado
to dip out.
Oh!
So you've seen three
incredible performances.
Now it's time for you all
in the studio audience
to vote for your favorite.
Remember, the two characters
with the most votes
will face off
in the Battle Royale.
The other singer
will be unmasked.
You can fight about who's
leaving while we take a break.
Be right back.
♪ Who is that?
♪ Who is that?
Welcome back to
"The Masked Singer."
We're jump straight
into those results
to see who's moving on
and who's moving out.
Can she keep her crown
or will the Bride
falter at the altar?
No, no.
Has she blown
the audience away,
or have their votes
pushed Snowstorm
"white-out"
of the competition?
And will he come back
next time,
or is Avocado a "Hass-been"?
- Oh, who's it gonna be?
- We about to find out
right now.
Somebody's gotta go home, Ken.
Leaving us tonight
and unmasking first is...
Oh, gosh.
The Bride.
- Both: What?
- Robin: Oh.
- That's an upset.
- Total upset.
Wow. Well, show some love
for Snowstorm and Avocado.
You need to head back
and get your heads in the game
for the Battle Royale.
But we gotta keep it going
and show some love to the Bride.
- We're so sorry...
- Oh, Bride looks sad.
- I know.
- ...that we gotta see you go,
but we can't wait
to see who you are.
But, panel, you gotta give us
your final guesses.
- ( groaning )
- Who is the Bride?
Ken: Well, I mean, look.
First of all,
I just have to say I'm stunned
that you're eliminated
because I thought you were
a consistent performer.
You did an amazing job.
Really.
And in all sincerity
in my heart,
this can be only one.
This is Matthew McConaughey.
- And he's dead serious,
everybody, still.
- Nick: He's serious.
- Wha--
- ( jeering )
Jenny: You know what, Ken?
I'll give you this.
He does like
to take his shirt off,
but he's not an action star,
and last week there was
an action star clue.
Now if I were to take those
and put them together--
action star, shirtless,
I come up with Vin Diesel.
- Ken: That's a good guess.
- Okay.
We had Tyrese on this show.
Why not have Vin Diesel?
- Ken: Yes. Oh, exactly.
- Welcome to
"The Masked Singer."
- Exactly.
- Nick: That is true.
Do y'all really think
that that's Vin Diesel?
- Yes, I do.
- Why not?
Um, you know,
the energy, the spirit,
early on we had
all these rocker vibes,
but then we see these new clues.
He doesn't like
to wear a shirt, right?
Likes to act up.
I just-- I think
that this could be--
from the Red Hot Chili Peppers,
I think this could be Flea.
- That's who I think it is.
- Okay.
Robin:
That's what I think.
I think that's a great guess,
and I think he'd be perfect
on our show.
Nick: Nicole?
I'm kind of picking up
what you're putting down, Robin.
So, earlier,
I said David Arquette,
because it said "act up," right?
- Both: Right.
- Right?
So I was going acting vibes.
But now I just can't deny
those vocals.
The energy, the high notes,
this could be Sammy Hagar
from Van Halen.
Come on!
Ken: Yeah.
All right, well, let's see
if any of you are correct.
Bride, we need to know,
who are you?
Audience, say it with me.
- All: Take it off! Take it off!
- ♪ Who are you?
- Take it off!
- Take it off.
Take it off!
Take it off!
- ♪ Oh, I really wanna know
- Oh, oh.
- All: Take it off!
- ♪ Come on, tell me
♪ Who are you, you, you
- ♪ Are you?
- Come on, Sammy!
And there he is!
AEW champion
and wrestle superstar!
Y'all give it up
for Chris Jericho!
Oh, my God!
Lead singer of Fozzy,
four-time "New York Times"
bestseller.
- A real action star.
- Oh!
Chris Jericho,
ladies and gentlemen.
That's why his shirt is off!
Chris, you gotta talk
to us, man.
What in the world made you
become a pink dinosaur
with a wedding dress on?
It's always been inside of me
my whole life,
and I finally got to do it.
Now, I gotta tell you,
I am shocked,
because I was having
a great time.
This costume was amazing.
It's best costume that
I've seen on the show,
and I'm disappointed
I got beaten by an avocado.
Nick: Right?
Only on "The Masked Singer."
Only on "The Masked Singer."
Exactly.
Yeah!
I just wanna say, Chris,
I'm a legit fan.
Seriously,
I've followed your career
ever since, you know,
when you were back
in the WWE, WCW days.
Charismatic performer,
singer, as well as,
you know,
a superstar athlete.
I'm a legit fan, and I'm kind of
starstruck right now.
Aw, thanks, Ken.
Thanks, man. Thank you.
Chris Jericho
in the building.
You can head on backstage,
get changed.
Hang out with us
in the VIP section.
One more time, y'all,
for the Bride!
Chris Jericho.
- That's a shocker.
- Right?
- I'm so sad.
- He wanted it. He wanted it.
- But it reminds you,
this means something.
- It means something.
Anything can happen
on this show,
which means we have
a new king or queen
being crowned tonight.
Will it be Snowstorm
or Avocado?
They're going head to head
in another Battle Royale.
It all goes down
right after the break.
♪ Who is that?
( fanfare )
Oh, I love this!
Battle Royale!
Announcer:
The time has come
for the Battle Royale!
It is indeed time
for the Battle Royale,
and here to oversee
is another special guest.
Ladies and gentlemen,
comedy legend,
formerly known as the Llama,
Mr. Drew Carey!
Hey, man. How's it going?
Nice to see you.
- Hello. Battle Royale!
- Oh, yeah, baby.
Battle Royale.
Snowstorm, I'm so glad
to see you here.
And I just wanna thank you
for making me late to work
all those times
back in Cleveland.
I'll never forget you
as long as I live.
You make me wanna keep
rock salt in my trunk.
( laughing )
And, Avocado, I don't have
any jokes for you,
because to be honest,
I thought you were gonna
get voted off.
- Jenny: Oh!
- Ken: Ah!
- Oh, my gosh.
- Everybody did.
The guy making me sign
the paperwork was like,
"Don't worry about Avocado."
Jenny: Oh!
Hey, thanks for having me
on your show, man.
- No problem.
- I really appreciate it.
You wanna start
the Battle Royale?
- Let's do it. Yeah.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah!
- Let's do it.
Drew Carey,
ladies and gentlemen.
Every performance tonight
has been dedicated
to a panelist,
and this song is especially
for my man Robin Thicke.
- Hey!
- So let the battle commence.
( music playing )
♪ You walked into the party
♪ Like you were walking
onto a yacht ♪
♪ Your hat strategically dipped
below one eye ♪
♪ Your scarf was apricot
♪ You had one eye
in the mirror ♪
♪ As you watched yourself
go by ♪
♪ And all the girls dreamed
that they'd be your partner ♪
♪ They'd be your partner,
and you're so vain ♪
♪ You probably think
this song is about you ♪
♪ You're so vain
♪ I bet you think this song
is about you ♪
♪ Don't you? Don't you?
♪ Don't you?
( vocalizing )
- He got you.
He got you, Robin.
- He got me good.
( music continues )
Jenny: Oh, my God!
The videos!
- Oh.
- ( laughing )
♪ You walked into the party
♪ Like you were walking
onto a yacht ♪
♪ Your hat strategically dipped
below one eye ♪
♪ Your scarf, it was apricot
♪ You had one eye
in the mirror ♪
♪ As you watched yourself
gavotte ♪
♪ And all the girls dreamed
that they'd be your partner ♪
♪ They'd be your partner
♪ And you're so vain
♪ I bet you think
this song is about you ♪
♪ You're so vain
♪ You're so vain
♪ I bet you think
this song is about you ♪
♪ Don't you? Don't you?
Don't you? ♪
The Battle Royale.
Snowstorm versus the Avocado.
- Whoo!
- Panel, talk about
those performances.
What a battle.
I mean, there's
huge stakes right now
because we have
a new reigning champion,
and I feel like you guys
did give it your all.
So it's up to us
to make that decision.
- No pressure.
- It's a tough call.
I mean,
one was just a very humorous
take on the song.
One was another effortless
version of that song.
It's just two ways to approach
Robin's intense vanity.
- Great. Yeah.
- Well, there you have it,
panel.
It is all on you right now.
Your votes will dictate the fate
of the Snowstorm
and the Avocado.
Start voting now.
We'll have the results
after the break.
We'll be right back.
♪ Who is that?
The king or queen
of "Masked Singer" tonight is...
Oh, I'm scared.
It could be another upset
right now.
It could be if you judged wrong.
( no audible dialogue )
- Snowstorm!
- Oh!
Congratulations.
You're one step closer
to the Golden Mask Trophy.
Enjoy being our new Snow Queen.
Wow, a new queen.
Nick: Knighted by the one
and only Drew Carey.
The Llama just showed love
to the Snowstorm.
And while we're showing love,
you guys keep it going
for the Avocado, y'all.
Step on up here, Avocado.
Oh, Avocado!
We are so sorry to see you go,
but we're so excited to see
who you actually are.
But before we get to that,
panel, you know what it is.
You know, I think that
all the clues
lead to this
comedian/actor/superstar.
The mic and the headphones
for his voiceover work
in "Toy Story."
Home renovation.
"Home Improvement."
I think this
has to be Tim Allen.
- All right. Good guess.
- Nicole: Yeah.
Jenny, what's your
final guesses?
Well, the comedy masks,
you know,
make me think of the Joker,
and he was in "The Joker."
He's also a great stand-up
and he happens to have
a very successful podcast.
This could be Marc Maron,
you guys.
- Robin: Marc Maron?
- Nicole: Yeah.
- All right.
- Great guess, but the clues
and tonight's comedy theme,
it does make me think
of someone
in the comedy podcast world.
You know what my favorite
podcast is right now
- is Dax Shepard's podcast.
- Ooh.
- Nicole: Dax Shepard.
- He and his wife,
- they're, like,
a down to earth couple...
- I love that guess.
...into home renovation.
I think this could be
Dax Shepard.
- Nicole: Nice.
- Okay.
Not bad.
Nicole, what you got?
Yeah, I'm jumping on
that podcast train, guys.
We had the comedy mask.
He started out in stand-up.
Now he's got the most lucrative
podcast in the world.
He did say he's a part of a
billion-dollar business, right?
- I think it's Joe Rogan.
- Jenny: I like it.
Okay.
Some really good guesses.
- Not bad.
- Let's see if any of you
are correct.
Avocado, we need to know,
who are you?
Audience, say it with me.
- Take it off! Take it off!
- ♪ Who are you?
- ♪ Who, who, who, who?
- Take it off!
- Take it off!
- How do they take it off?
- I don't-- how do you--
- What do they do?
- Jenny:
How do you get it off?
- I don't know.
- Oh, my God, who is this?
- ♪ Oh, I really wanna know
We need the Men In Black, guys.
- Men In Black, help us out.
- ♪ Tell me, who are you?
♪ You, you, are you?
Legendary comedian
Adam Carolla!
- What?
- Oh, oh! No!
Oh, no!
Nick:
Host of "The Man Show,"
"Loveline,"
podcaster and TV star.
I was gonna say it, and then
I'm like, "He's too tall."
- I was gonna say it!
- Oh!
Nick: He got everybody.
I gotta tell you, somebody
farted in this Avocado suit,
and it wasn't me.
- Nick: It wasn't you?
- No, I know my essence.
Speaking of essence, man,
it's so much fun
to have you here
on Comedy Night.
I mean, this is perfect.
Were you guys
surprised at all or--
I'm very mad at myself.
Literally, I was like,
"This has gotta be Adam,
but there's no way
'cause Adam's really tall."
And you looked so short
in that Avocado,
that I was, like--
I just canceled that out
every time you came
into my head.
I look shorter,
but it's slimming, right?
'Cause I'm wearing this home.
It's all yours, farts and all.
Jenny:
I'm so mad at myself.
You have that iconic,
classic voice.
- We all know that voice.
- Well, evidentially not.
- You got 'em good, Adam.
You got 'em good.
- Good.
- For real.
- Nick: And what a night.
I mean, to have
so many great comedians
and legends in the building.
I mean,
Drew Carey, Jon Lovitz,
wrestling superstar
Chris Jericho.
Adam Carolla,
is there anything you wanna say
to our panel
or the people at home?
You know, ever since
I was a young lad
growing up
in North Hollywood, California,
I dreamt of this moment.
And a scant 47 years later,
here I am.
So this is a dream realized.
And if I die tonight--
I'm gonna pissed, actually.
Nick: There it is.
The one and only
Adam Carolla, y'all.
It's been such a joy
having you here.
- Whoo!
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
There you have it.
That's all we got.
The Snowstorm
comes back next time
to face two new contenders
on our super spooky
Fright Night.
But right now, make some noise
for the artist formerly known
as the Avocado,
- Adam Carolla!
- Yeah!
♪ Hit the road, Jack
♪ Don'cha come back
no more, no more,
♪ No more, no more,
hit the road, Jack ♪
♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ Don'cha come back no more
- Sing it, Adam!
- ♪ Don'cha come back no more
♪ What you say?