The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 3, Episode 24 - Names My Mother Called Me - full transcript

- DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY
ELSE IN THE WORLD BESIDES ME

NAMED DOBIE?

OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

OTHER GUYS HAVE NAMES LIKE
GEORGE OR CHARLIE OR HARRY.

BUT ME, I'M DOBIE.

ARE YOU WONDERING
HOW I GOT SUCH A NAME?

WELL, I WONDERED TOO.

SO I WENT TO THE MAN
WHO COULD TELL ME.

A MAN WHO'S NEVER IN DOUBT,

WHO'S ALWAYS READY WITH A
STRAIGHT, FIRM, DEFINITE ANSWER.

- HOW SHOULD I KNOW?



- BUT YOU'RE MY
FATHER, AREN'T YOU?

YOU GAVE ME THAT NAME.

- OH, NOT ME, BOY.

I HAD ANOTHER NAME
ALL PICKED OUT FOR YOU.

A GOOD ONE. GUS.
NOW, THERE'S A NAME.

- SO HOW COME YOU
CALLED ME DOBIE?

- I DID NOT DO IT.

SHE DID IT.

- YES, I DID.
- WHY, MOM?

- I'M SORRY, DOBIE.
I CAN'T TELL YOU.

- BUT, MOM...
- IT'S NO USE, BOY.

I'VE BEEN BUGGING
HER FOR 20 YEARS

AND SHE JUST WON'T TALK.

NOW, WINNIE, WHY IN THE...
- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE WHY?



I THINK DOBIE'S A
PERFECTLY LOVELY NAME.

I CAN'T IMAGINE A
BETTER NAME THAN DOBIE.

- I CAN. GUS.

- GUS. WHY, THAT'S
NOT A NAME AT ALL.

[JAZZ THEME]

- SO MY MOTHER, FOR REASONS
KNOWN ONLY TO HERSELF,

DECIDED TO NAME ME DOBIE.

SHE WON'T TELL ME WHY.

ALL SHE'LL SAY IS THAT DOBIE'S
A PERFECTLY LOVELY NAME.

GISELLE HURLBUT, HOWEVER, HAS
A SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT OPINION.

- I THINK DOBIE IS ICKY AND
AWFUL AND TOO TOO RIDICULOUS.

- WHAT'S IN A NAME, GISELLE?

THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT
YOU AND I LOVE EACH OTHER

AND WE ALWAYS WILL,

AND AFTER GRADUATION
WE WILL BE MARRIED.

- AND AFTER WE'RE MARRIED, WHAT?
- BLISS, HAPPINESS.

YOU AND I HAND IN HAND WALKING
THROUGH FIELDS OF WILDFLOWERS.

- NO, MY FRIEND.

AFTER WE'RE MARRIED YOU'RE
GOING TO GET A GOOD JOB

WITH A GOOD CORPORATION

AND WORK YOUR WAY
UP TO A VICE PRESIDENCY.

AND WE'RE GOING TO MOVE INTO A
SPLIT-LEVEL HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS

AND HAVE THREE CHILDREN.
- UH-HUH.

- TWO BOYS AND A GIRL.
- YEAH.

- AND I'M GONNA JOIN THE
PTA AND THE RED CROSS.

- MM-HMM.

- AND SOMEDAY MY PICTURE
WILL BE ON THE SOCIETY PAGE

POURING TEA FOR SOME
WORTHY ORGANIZATION.

AND WHAT'S IT GONNA
SAY UNDER THE PICTURE?

MRS. DOBIE GILLIS?

HOW CAN YOU DO THAT
TO THE WOMAN YOU LOVE?

AND WHAT ABOUT YOURSELF?
- LOOK...

- YOU GO TO WORK
IN A BIG CORPORATION.

YOU WANT TO BECOME
VICE PRESIDENT.

THE MANAGER TAKES
ONE LOOK AT YOUR NAME.

DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA
PUT A NAME LIKE THAT

ON A VICE PRESIDENT'S DOOR?

- ARE YOU FINISHED?
- YEAH.

- OKAY. SO IT'S NOT THE
GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

- WELL, THERE MOST CERTAINLY IS.
- LIKE WHAT?

- LIKE CHANGE IT.

- CHANGE MY NAME?
- LOTS OF PEOPLE DO.

- SURE. MOVIE STARS,
PEOPLE LIKE THAT,

BUT NOT PEOPLE.
- NO. NO. IT'S VERY SIMPLE.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS GO TO THE JUDGE

AND FILL OUT SOME PAPERS.

- GISELLE, I CAN'T.

- YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME.
- OH, I DO. I DO. I DO.

- AND YOU SAY YOU'D CLIMB
THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN FOR ME.

- AND SWIM THE
DEEPEST RIVER AND...

- I KNOW. I KNOW. AND BRING
ME MOONBEAMS IN A JAR.

AND THE PERFUMES OF ARABIA.
- YEAH.

- AND THE PEARLS OF THE ORIENT.
- RIGHT.

- SO WHY WON'T YOU
GO CHANGE YOUR NAME?

- I DON'T KNOW, GISELLE.

IT SEEMS SO KIND OF WEIRD
AND SPOOKY AND UNNATURAL.

- YOU RANG?

- NO, MAYNARD. I DIDN'T RING.

- BOY, AM I GLAD I
FOUND YOU, GOOD BUDDY.

I GOT SOME REAL GOOD
IMPORTANT NEWS FOR YOU.

- GO AWAY, MAYNARD.
- NO, MAYNARD. DON'T GO.

- I WASN'T GOING TO, GIRL. HE'S
ALWAYS TELLING ME GO AWAY.

IT'S LIKE ROUGH, MANLY
HUMOR, ISN'T IT, GOOD BUDDY?

- NO, IT ISN'T, GOOD BUDDY.
- MAYNARD,

I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- SHOOT.

- YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA
REGRET THIS, GISELLE.

SEE, THESE PEOPLE
ALREADY REGRET IT.

- IF YOUR NAME WAS DOBIE
GILLIS, WOULDN'T YOU CHANGE IT?

- I SURE WOULD.
THAT'S A CRAZY NAME.

- SEE?

- I'D CHANGE IT TO
DOBIE SIGAPOOS.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

- IN FACT, I'D CHANGE DOBIE TOO.
- AHA!

- AHA SIGAPOOS?
NO. I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK TO SOMETHING LIKE LEON.

- GOODBYE, MAYNARD.

- ALL RIGHT. SOME MORE ROUGH,
MANLY HUMOR, HUH, DOBE?

- YEAH. YOU'RE NOT
GOING, ARE YOU, MAYNARD?

- GOOD THINKING.
- COME, MY DEAR,

TO A SECRET PLACE I
FOUND JUST BUILT FOR TWO.

- I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE
NOW OR EVER WITH DOBIE GILLIS.

DOBIE, INDEED.

I'M GIVING YOU EXACTLY 24
HOURS TO GO TO THE JUDGE

AND CHANGE YOUR NAME TO
SOMETHING NORMAL AND REASONABLE,

24 HOURS.

- GISELLE.
- NOW, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

WILL YOU OR WON'T YOU?

- CAN'T WE TALK THIS OVER?

- WE HAVE TALKED IT OVER
AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

THE TIME FOR TALK IS PAST.

IF YOU LOVE ME LIKE
YOU SAY YOU DO...

- I DO. I DO.

YEAH. I DO. I DO.

- THEN YOU'LL MEET
ME HERE TOMORROW...

- YEAH. I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT.
- WITH A BRAND NEW NAME?

- MM-HM. I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT.

- I HOPE YOU MEAN IT.
- I MEAN IT. I MEAN IT.

- I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- I'LL BE HERE. I'LL BE HERE.

- WITH A NEW NAME.
- WITH A NEW NAME. WITH A NEW...

24 HOURS.

THAT ISN'T MUCH TIME
TO THINK OF A NEW NAME.

- WHAT'S THE
PROBLEM, GOOD BUDDY?

I ALREADY GOT ONE PICKED OUT.

- LIKE MAYNARD?
- GOOD THINKING.

- BUT IF I WAS MAYNARD
AND YOU WERE MAYNARD,

HOW WOULD WE KNOW
WHICH WAS WHICH?

- YOU GOT A POINT.

- SO HAVE YOU, MAYNARD.
RIGHT ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD.

- SOME MORE ROUGH,
MANLY HUMOR, HUH, DOBE?

- I'M SORRY, MAYNARD. I
DIDN'T MEAN TO INSULT YOU,

BUT SHE'S GOT ME ALL SHOOK UP.

NOW, BE A GOOD FELLOW
AND FLAKE OFF, WILL YOU?

I'VE GOT TO THINK.
- YEAH. ME TOO.

NOW, LET'S SEE, WHAT WOULD
BE A GOOD NAME FOR YOU?

HOW ABOUT MILTON?
- NO, MAYNARD.

- LEROY?

JULIUS?

HEY, I GOT IT. WENCESLAS.

- WENC... NOW, WHY
DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

- YEAH, HE WAS A
GOOD KING, WENCESLAS.

YOU REMEMBER THE SONG.

♪ JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE
BELLS GOOD KING WENCESLAS ♪

♪ WENT FA LA LA
LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪

- MAYNARD, MERRY
CHRISTMAS, AND GOODBYE.

- SOME MORE ROUGH, MANLY
HUMOR, HUH, GOOD BUDDY?

SAY, HOW DID A JOLLY
JOKESTER LIKE YOU

GET MIXED UP
WITH DR. D.W. KLINE?

- MAYNARD, WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- HE SENT YOU A TELEGRAM.

- THE DR. D.W. KLINE?

- YEAH. THE GUY WHOSE
PICTURE IS ALWAYS IN THE PAPER

GIVING ADVICE TO
PRESIDENTS, AND, YOU KNOW,

INVENTING THE ATOM
AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

- YOU MEAN DR. D. W. KLINE,
THE SCIENTIST AND HUMANITARIAN

AND NOBEL PRIZE WINNER?

- YEAH, HIM.

- WHAT'S DR. D.W. KLINE
GOT TO DO WITH ME?

- I JUST ASKED YOU, GOOD BUDDY.
YOU GOTTA LEARN TO LISTEN.

- YEAH. I'M LISTENING.
I'M LISTENING, MAYNARD.

- HE SENT YOU A TELEGRAM.

MRS. G. TOLD ME TO
BRING IT OVER TO YOU.

- YEAH.
- MRS. G., THAT'S YOUR MOTHER.

AND MR. G., THAT'S YOUR
FATHER, AND DOBE G., THAT'S YOU.

- MAYNARD, I KNOW ALL
THAT. HERE, LET ME READ IT.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO, DOBE,
I ALREADY STEAMED IT OPEN.

IT WASN'T EASY, I
USED COLD WATER.

IT SAYS, "DEAR DOBIE,

"MOST URGENT YOU COME TO
NEW YORK TOMORROW TO SEE ME.

"WE HAVE MUCH IN
COMMON TO TALK ABOUT,

SIGNED DR. D.W. KLINE."

- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS.

- WHAT DOES HE MEAN YOU HAVE
MUCH IN COMMON TO TALK ABOUT?

- I DON'T KNOW, MAYNARD.

WHAT COULD DR. D.W. KLINE
POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WITH ME?

- YOUR NAME.

- I DON'T GET IT.

- YEAH. WHAT'S THE IDEA, WINNIE?

- YEAH, WINNIE?
- MAYNARD.

- COME ON, MOM. LET'S HEAR IT.

- THE D IN DR. D.W. KLINE'S
NAME STANDS FOR DOBIE.

DR. DOBIE W. KLINE.

- AND YOU NAMED ME AFTER HIM?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

- YEAH. YOU HAD TO PICK THE
D. WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK THE W?

- THE W STANDS FOR WILLIS.

- WILLIS GILLIS?
- EXACTLY.

SO YOU SEE WHY I
HAD TO PICK DOBIE.

- NO. I DON'T SEE, MOM.

WHY'D YOU NAME ME AFTER
THIS MAN IN THE FIRST PLACE?

- YEAH. GET TO
THE POINT, WINNIE.

- YEAH, WINNIE.
- MAYNARD.

- DOBIE, ABOUT TWO WEEKS
BEFORE YOU WERE BORN,

I READ IN THE NEWSPAPER
ABOUT DR. KLINE.

HE HAD JUST BEEN AWARDED
THE NOBEL PRIZE IN PHYSICS,

BUT THE ARTICLE SAID THAT HE
WAS NOT JUST A GREAT PHYSICIST,

HE WAS ALSO A GREAT
HUMANITARIAN AND PHILOSOPHER,

AND HE DID ALL KINDS OF
GOOD THINGS FOR PEOPLE

AND SERVED ON
IMPORTANT COMMITTEES

AND WORKED DAY AND NIGHT TO
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

- GEE, I'M GETTING ALL MISTY.

- WELL, I WROTE
DR. KLINE A LETTER,

AND I ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD
MIND IF I NAMED MY BABY AFTER HIM,

PROVIDED, OF COURSE, THAT
IT TURNED OUT TO BE A BOY.

- DID IT?

- HE WROTE BACK, OH, IT
WAS SUCH A LOVELY LETTER

AND HE SAID THAT HE DIDN'T
HAVE ANY CHILDREN OF HIS OWN,

AND HE WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO
HAVE ME NAME MY BOY AFTER HIM

ON ONE CONDITION.

HE WANTED TO KNOW ALL ABOUT
DOBIE'S PROGRESS IN THE WORLD,

AND HE ASKED ME
TO WRITE HIM LETTERS

ABOUT EVERYTHING
THAT HAPPENED TO DOBIE,

HIS FIRST TOOTH, HIS
BIRTHDAYS, HIS FRIENDS.

- THAT'S GOOD.

- HIS MARKS AT SCHOOL.
- THAT'S BAD.

- BUT, MOM, HOW COME YOU
NEVER TOLD US ANY OF THIS?

- WELL, FRANKLY, I WAS
A LITTLE EMBARRASSED.

I MEAN, DOESN'T IT SEEM
KIND OF HOITY-TOITY?

ME, A SIMPLE HOUSEWIFE

AND DR. KLINE, ONE OF THE
GREATEST MEN IN THE WORLD?

IT SEEMED, WELL, A
LITTLE IMMODEST OF ME

TO NAME MY BOY AFTER
SUCH A GREAT MAN.

BUT AFTER ALL, DR. KLINE
DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND, DOES HE?

HE SENT YOU A TELEGRAM
ASKING TO SEE YOU, DIDN'T HE?

- OKAY, WINNIE.

YOU NAMING THE BOY AFTER
A GREAT MAN LIKE DR. KLINE,

THIS I CAN UNDERSTAND.

AND YOU BEING A LITTLE
EMBARRASSED TO TELL ABOUT IT,

THIS I CAN UNDERSTAND.

BUT HIM SENDING A TELEGRAM
INVITING DOBIE TO NEW YORK,

THIS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- THE ANSWER IS RIGHT
HERE IN THE EVENING PAPER.

- "DR. D.W. KLINE
FORSAKES WORLD.

"THE GREAT SCIENTIST
AND HUMANITARIAN

"DR. D.W. KLINE TODAY ANNOUNCED
HIS PERMANENT RETIREMENT

"FROM THE CIVILIZED WORLD.

"HE DID NOT DIVULGE
HIS FUTURE PLANS,

"BUT SOURCES CLOSE TO
THE EMINENT PHYSICIST SAY

"THAT HE INTENDS TO RETIRE TO
THE UNEXPLORED JUNGLES OF BRAZIL

AND ESTABLISH A HOSPITAL
AMONG THE SAVAGE TRIBES THERE."

- YOU SEE?

DR. D.W. KLINE, POSSIBLY
THE GREATEST AMERICAN,

IS RETIRING FROM THE WORLD,

AND BEFORE HE GOES HE
WANTS TO SEE OUR SON.

ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

- MOM...
- QUIET, BOY.

WINNIE, IF DR. KLINE,

WHO IS PROBABLY THE
GREATEST LIVING AMERICAN ALIVE,

ASKS A FAVOR OF
HERBERT T. GILLIS,

YOU CAN BE SURE
THAT HERBERT T. GILLIS

WILL SHOW THE GOOD
DOCTOR IN HIS OWN SMALL WAY

THAT HE IS A GREAT
AMERICAN ALIVE TOO.

- WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO, DEAR?

- I AM NOT ONLY GOING TO
LET DOBIE GO TO NEW YORK,

I AM TO GO ALONG
WITH HIM PERSONALLY.

- OH, YEAH, ME TOO.

I WANT TO MEET ONE
OF THEM CITY SLICKERS

AND BUY ME SOME GOLD BRICKS.

OH, MAN, I ALWAYS WANTED
SOME OF THEM GOLD BRICKS.

- YES, PERHAPS YOU
HAD BETTER GO ALONG.

- YEAH. TURN THESE COUNTRY
BOYS LOOSE IN NEW YORK ALONE

AND SOMEBODY WILL
STEAL THEIR SUITCASES.

- MOM, DAD, NATURALLY
I'D LIKE TO GO TO NEW YORK

AND MEET DR. KLINE, BUT
I CAN'T DO IT TOMORROW.

- BUT IT HAS TO BE
TOMORROW, DEAR.

HE'S LEAVING FOR THE JUNGLE.

- I CAN'T. I'VE GOT SOMETHING
IMPORTANT TO DO TOMORROW.

- LIKE WHAT?

- WELL, IT'S KIND OF
HARD TO EXPLAIN.

- NO IT ISN'T, DOBE.

YOU HAVE TO GO DOWN AND
SEE THE JUDGE TOMORROW

AND HAVE YOUR NAME CHANGED.

- HAVE YOU FLIPPED YOUR WIG,
GOING TO CHANGE YOUR NAME

JUST WHEN IT'S GETTING YOU
A FREE TRIP TO NEW YORK?

WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU
WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME FOR?

AND OH, WHAT A STUPID
QUESTION, WHO'S THE CHICK?

- HER NAME IS GISELLE HURLBUT.

- HER NAME IS GISELLE HURLBUT,

AND SHE WANTS YOU
TO CHANGE YOUR NAME?

- LET'S FACE IT, MR. G., DOBIE
IS KIND OF A WEIRD NAME.

WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER
IF HE HAD A NICE NAME

LIKE IRVING OR FLICKA?

- IT CERTAINLY WOULD NOT.

DOBIE IS A FINE
NAME, A PROUD NAME.

YOU ARE GOING TO
NEW YORK TOMORROW.

LET'S HAVE NO MORE
NONSENSE ABOUT IT.

- BUT GISELLE WILL DUMP ME.

- LOOK, DEAR, YOU
JUST GO TO THIS GIRL

AND EXPLAIN TO HER THE GREAT
MAN THAT YOU'RE NAMED AFTER,

AND I'M SURE SHE'LL
CHANGE HER MIND.

- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- WHY, OF COURSE, DEAR.

YOU JUST PUT ALL THE FACTS
BEFORE HER SIMPLY AND CLEARLY

AND THERE'S NO
QUESTION ABOUT IT.

SHE'LL SAY YES.

- NO!
- BUT GISELLE,

DR. KLINE IS ONE OF THE
GREATEST MEN WHO EVER LIVED.

- SO WAS SOCRATES,

BUT I WOULDN'T BE RUNNING
AROUND WITH ANYONE

NAMED SOCRATES GILLIS.
- LOOK, GISELLE...

- YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE
YOUR NAME, AND THAT'S FINAL.

- YOU SURE THIS
IS WHAT YOU WANT?

- ARE YOU SURE I'M
WHAT YOU WANT?

- OH, YES. YES. YES.

- YOU SURE YOU
WANT THESE EYES...

- YES, UH-HUH.

- AND THESE LIPS...
- MM-HM. YES.

- AND THIS HEAD AND THIS BODY?

- YES. YES. YES. YES.
- THEN...

- THEN I'LL CHANGE MY NAME.
- YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR NAME.

YOU PROMISE?
- I PROMISE.

- THAT'S MY DARLING.
- AND THAT'S MY DARLING.

- AND HERE COMES
NOBODY'S DARLING.

- MAYNARD, WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOU? WHY DO YOU LOOK SO FAT?

- LIKE, BRAIN POWER.
I'VE BEEN USING MY WITS.

- LIKE HOW?

- LIKE I REMEMBER WHAT MR. G...
- MY FATHER.

- YES. SAID ABOUT ALL THEM
CITY SLICKERS IN NEW YORK

STEALING YOUR SUITCASE
AND ALL LIKE THAT.

WELL, THEY'RE NOT
GONNA STEAL MY SUITCASE,

NOT MAYNARD G. KREBS'S SUITCASE.

- I KNOW I'M GOING
TO REGRET THIS,

BUT WHY NOT?

- 'CAUSE I AIN'T
GOT NO SUITCASE.

I WORE ALL MY CLOTHES.

YES, SIR, THEM CITY SLICKERS

ARE GONNA HAVE TO GET UP
PRETTY EARLY IN THE MORNING

TO GET AHEAD OF YOURS
TRULY, MAYNARD G. SHREWD.

- I WAS RIGHT. I REGRET IT.
- STEAL MY SUITCASE, INDEED.

- YOU REGRET IT, YEAH.

- I'M LIKE A WALKING,
LIVING SUITCASE.

I MEAN, HE WHO STEALS
MAYNARD G. KREBS'S SUITCASE

HAS GOT TO STEAL
MAYNARD G. KREBS.

- YEAH. GOOD THINKING, MAYNARD.

- AND HOW MANY PEOPLE,
CONSERVATIVELY SPEAKING,

WOULD STEAL MAYNARD G. KREBS?

- YEAH, NONE. NO OFFENSE.
- NO OFFENSE.

COME ON, WE GOTTA CATCH
THE 4:00 PLANE FOR NEW YORK.

- OH, YEAH. GOODBYE, GISELLE.
- GOODBYE.

AND DON'T FORGET WHAT YOU
HAVE TO DO WHEN YOU CAME BACK.

CHANGE YOUR NAME.
- YEAH. CHANGE MY NAME, YEAH.

- RIGHT.

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THIS TELECAST IS COMING TO YOU

FROM THE ANTEROOM
OF DR. D.W. KLINE

IN THE SCHOOL FOR ADVANCED
LEARNING AT EASTERN UNIVERSITY.

AS I LOOK ABOUT ME,

I CAN SEE SOME OF THE MOST
FAMOUS FACES IN THIS NATION,

SCIENTISTS, DIPLOMATS,
UNITED NATIONS DELEGATES,

AUTHORS.

I COULD GO ON AND
ON WITH THE LIST.

THESE PEOPLE ARE THE
GOOD DOCTOR'S FRIENDS,

ASSOCIATES AND WELL-WISHERS

WHO HAVE GATHERED HERE
TO BID HIM A BON VOYAGE

TO A DESTINATION UNKNOWN.

HERE WE HAVE DR. KLINE'S
LONG-TIME ASSISTANT,

DR. CHARLES GRAHAM.

DR. GRAHAM, CAN
YOU TELL US, SIR,

WHEN WE MAY EXPECT DR. KLINE
TO COME OUT OF THAT DOOR

AND SPEAK TO US?

- OH, YOU CAN'T
EXPECT HIM AT ALL.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO EXPLAIN

TO THESE GENTLEMEN OF THE PRESS.

- OH, SURELY, THERE
MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.

YOU MEAN THAT DR. KLINE IS
NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY GOODBYE

TO THIS GATHERING?

- OH, THE DOCTOR
WILL SAY GOODBYE,

BUT ONLY TO ONE
PARTICULAR PERSON.

- AND WHO IS THIS PERSON?

- WELL, HE'S SOME
SORT OF A COLLEGE BOY.

THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

HIS NAME IS DOBIE GILLIS, AND
HE'D BETTER GET HERE SOON.

DR. KLINE HAS TO CATCH
A PLANE IN A FEW MINUTES.

- DOBIE GILLIS, WHO IS HE?

- I HAVE NO IDEA.

EXCUSE ME.

- THINK OF THE IRONY OF
IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

DR. D.W. KLINE'S LAST FEW
MINUTES IN THE CIVILIZED WORLD

WILL BE SPENT WITH SOME
SHADOWY, MYSTERIOUS YOUTH

FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

- YOU RANG?

- OH, DEAR, ARE
YOU DOBIE GILLIS?

- OH, DEAR, I'M
MAYNARD G. KREBS.

- OH.

KINDLY BEAR WITH US,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THERE'S SOME SMALL MIX-UP.

- OH, THERE AIN'T NO
MIX-UP. I'M MAYNARD G. KREBS.

DOBIE TOOK THE
WRONG SUBWAY TRAIN,

HIS FATHER WENT TO FIND HIM.

HE TOOK THE WRONG SUBWAY TRAIN.

THEN I WENT DOWN IN THE SUBWAY.

- BUT YOU DIDN'T TAKE
THE WRONG TRAIN?

- NOPE, I WALKED
ALONG THE TRACKS.

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
DOBIE GILLIS HAS BEEN DETAINED,

BUT WHILE WE WAIT FOR HIM,

WE'LL SPEAK TO HIS
FRIEND, MR. MAYNARD.

- ARE ALL THESE CATS
CITY SLICKERS IN DISGUISE?

- NOT EXACTLY.

- BECAUSE I WANT TO
BUY MYSELF A GOLD BRICK

TO TAKE HOME AS A SOUVENIR.

- YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
SHY AND BEARDLESS.

- BEARDLESS? OH, COME NOW.

- MR. MAYNARD, COULD
WE HAVE A FEW WORDS ON...

- WELL, THAT ALL DEPENDS. I
ONLY HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT.

- I SEE YOU HAVE A
SENSE OF HUMOR.

MR. MAYNARD, WOULD YOU PLEASE
STAND A LITTLE CLOSER TO ME

SO THE TELEVISION
AUDIENCE CAN SEE YOU.

- I'M, LIKE, ON TELEVISION?

- OH, YES, YOU
ARE. YOU ARE. YES.

- LIKE, HI, JOSIE,
LIKE, HI, ROSIE,

LIKE, HI, HILDA.

- LET'S GET BACK TO
YOUR FRIEND DOBIE GILLIS.

- THEY'RE MY GUPPIES.

- LET'S GET BACK TO
YOUR FRIEND DOBIE GILLIS,

WHY DID DR. KLINE WANT
THIS YOUTH TO PAY HIM A VISIT?

MR. MAYNARD.
- OH, DR. KLINE DIDN'T PAY HIM.

WE EACH BOUGHT OUR OWN TICKET,
EXCEPT MY FATHER BOUGHT MINE.

I'VE HAD A STANDING OFFER
FROM MY FATHER FOR YEARS.

HE'LL PAY MY TRANSPORTATION TO
ANY PLACE IN THE WORLD, ONE WAY.

- INDEED.

- WHICH ONE OF THESE
CATS IS DR. KLINE?

- NONE OF THESE
CATS... MEN IS DR. KLINE.

I MEAN, DR. KLINE IS WAITING
IN HIS PRIVATE OFFICE.

TELL US, WHAT DOES
DOBIE GILLIS'S FATHER DO?

- OH, HE RUNS THE GILLIS
GROCERY STORE, YOU KNOW,

FANCY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
AND CHEESE THAT SMELLS SO BAD

THEY GOT TO SEND
IT OUT OF FRANCE...

- HOLD IT.

I AM THE FATHER OF DOBIE GILLIS.

- AH, HERE IS MR. GILLIS NOW.

TELL US, WHERE IS
YOUR SON, DOBIE?

- OH, HE'LL BE HERE.
- GOT LOST, HUH?

- YOU NEVER MIND ABOUT
DOBIE. HE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

IN THE MEANTIME,

I SUPPOSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO
HAVE A FEW WORDS FROM HIS FATHER?

- WELL, WE REALLY
DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

- NEVER MIND, I'M
HAPPY TO OBLIGE.

FIRST OF ALL,

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY HELLO TO
ALL MY GOOD FRIENDS OUT THERE

IN BISON LODGE NUMBER 38

WHO HAVE DONE SO MUCH
TO BUILD UP THE COMMUNITY.

OH, YES, AND A LITTLE WORD
TO MY GOOD WIFE, WINNIE.

HI, WINNIE.

- NOW, LET'S GET BACK TO
YOUR SON, DOBIE, MR. GILLIS.

- OH, YES. MY SON, DOBIE GILLIS.

WELL, TO UNDERSTAND
DOBIE GILLIS PROPERLY,

YOU MUST FIRST
UNDERSTAND HIS PARENTS.

NOW, TAKE ME, FOR INSTANCE,
HIS FATHER, HERBERT T. GILLIS,

YOURS TRULY.

I'M AN HONEST MAN,
AN AVERAGE AMERICAN,

BUT AGGRESSIVE,
INTELLIGENT, SELF-RELIANT,

AND A SUCCESSFUL
INDEPENDENT RETAIL MERCHANT,

LOVED AND RESPECTED BY
EVERYONE IN HIS COMMUNITY.

- OH, COME NOW.

- MR. GILLIS.
- QUIET, SONNY.

HERBERT T. GILLIS,
AMERICAN, CITIZEN, TAXPAYER,

AND A VETERAN.

I WAS IN WW II, THAT WAS
THE BIG ONE, YOU KNOW,

CAME OUT A FIRST SERGEANT
WITH THE GOOD CONDUCT MEDAL.

BUT I'M NOT TAKING ANY BOWS.

I JUST DID MY LITTLE BIT LIKE
MANY OTHER FELLOW AMERICANS

WHOSE GRIT AND DETERMINATION
HAVE MADE THIS COUNTRY GREAT.

- WELL, I FINALLY
FOUND DOBIE GILLIS.

LET US THROUGH, PLEASE.
WE ONLY HAVE A MOMENT.

- DOBIE GILLIS IS HERE
IN THE ROOM WITH US.

NOW, DOBIE GILLIS,
IF WE MAY ASK...

- OH, I'M SORRY.
HE CAN'T TALK NOW.

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.

- OH, YEAH. NO MORE
INTERVIEWS, PLEASE.

WE GOT TO GET RIGHT
IN AND SEE DR. KLINE.

- YEAH. WE GOT TO HURRY.
- OH, NO. NOT YOU TWO.

ONLY DOBIE GILLIS.
DR. KLINE WAS VERY SPECIFIC.

DOBIE GILLIS, YOU WILL
BE THE LAST PERSON

IN THE CIVILIZED WORLD
TO TALK TO DR. KLINE.

YOU ALONE WILL HEAR
HIS FINAL MESSAGE.

REMEMBER IT WELL, EVERY
WORD. WE WILL ALL BE WAITING.

- OH, GOOD, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.

GIVE ME A HAND
WITH THIS, WILL YOU?

- SIR?

- COME ON. WHY STAND
WHEN YOU CAN SIT?

LET'S TRY IT.

ALL RIGHT. I THINK
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

- EXCUSE ME, SIR.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE
I CAN FIND DR. KLINE?

- WHAT? OH, I'M DR. KLINE.

HERE, I'LL SPLIT THIS WITH YOU.

- YOU'RE DR. KLINE?

- WELL, DON'T LOOK
SO UNHAPPY, DOBIE.

I'VE HAD TO LOOK AT THIS
FACE EVERY DAY FOR 65 YEARS.

- NO, SIR. I ONLY MEANT THAT...

- YOU KNOW, PRINCE SOMEBODY
OR OTHER GAVE ME THIS SWORD.

I KNEW IT WOULD COME
IN HANDY SOMEDAY.

OOPS.

GOT IT?
- YEAH. YEAH.

- THEY DON'T GROW
APPLES LIKE THEY USED TO.

- NO, SIR. NO.

- DOBIE, YOU KNOW WHY I
WANTED TO SEE YOU TODAY?

- TO BE PERFECTLY
FRANK WITH YOU, SIR,

NO, AND I'M CONFUSED.

- TO BE PERFECTLY
FRANK WITH YOU, SON,

I DON'T BLAME YOU.

I ASKED YOU TO COME HERE
BECAUSE I WANT YOUR ADVICE.

- MY ADVICE?

YOU'RE KIDDING, AREN'T YOU?

- HUH-UH. NOT ABOUT THIS.

HERE.

DOBIE, TAKE A LOOK.

- THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME.

IT'S ALL THE STUFF
MOM'S BEEN SENDING YOU.

- RIGHT. AND I HAVE
A CONFESSION.

UP UNTIL A FEW MONTHS AGO,

ALL THESE MEMENTOS
OF YOUR GROWING UP

DIDN'T MEAN AN AWFUL LOT TO ME.

I APPRECIATED YOUR MOTHER'S
THOUGHTFULNESS, OF COURSE,

BUT THAT'S ABOUT ALL.

AND SUDDENLY IT STRUCK
ME THAT IN MANY WAYS,

THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
BOOK THAT I HAVE EVER OWNED.

- A BOOK ABOUT ME?

COME ON NOW, DR. KLINE.
YOU'RE JUST BEING POLITE.

HOW COULD IT BE IMPORTANT

COMPARED TO THE BRAINY STUFF
THAT'S IN ALL THESE OTHER BOOKS?

- THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG, SON.

THESE OTHER BOOKS
ARE ABOUT THINGS.

THIS BOOK IS ABOUT PEOPLE,
THAT IS, A PERSON, YOU.

NOW, WHAT COULD BE
MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT?

- DR. KLINE...
- DOBIE, I SPENT A LIFETIME

TRYING TO MAKE THE WORLD
A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN,

BUT WHAT IS THE WORLD EXCEPT
THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN IT?

AND WHAT ARE THE
PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN IT,

EXCEPT A LOT OF
INDIVIDUALS LIKE YOU?

- BUT, DR. KLINE, YOU'VE
DONE A WONDERFUL JOB

OF MAKING THE WORLD
A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE.

- IS IT MUCH OF A PLACE
TO LIVE IN RIGHT NOW?

- WELL...
- THE TRUTH.

- IT'S MISERABLE.

- YOU BET IT IS.
- YEAH.

- AND PART OF THE REASON
IS THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME

WHO'VE BEEN TRYING
TO IMPROVE LIFE,

HAVE BEEN TOO BUSY TO LIVE IT
AND LEARN WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

DOBIE, WHAT'S THIS?

- THAT'S ME PLAYING
SHORTSTOP IN THE LITTLE LEAGUE

WHEN I WAS ABOUT 10.

WE WON THAT GAME, 27 TO 25.

IT WAS A PITCHER'S BATTLE, YEAH.

- WHEN I WAS 10 I HAD
NO TIME FOR BASEBALL.

I WAS STUDYING
DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS.

WHAT'S THIS?

- THAT'S A PICTURE OF MY HIGH
SCHOOL GRADUATION DANCE.

GOLLY, THALIA MENNINGER.

WHAT A NIGHT THAT WAS.

AFTER THE DANCE WE ALL...

DR. KLINE, I DON'T GET THIS.

WHAT HAVE THESE PICTURES
GOT TO DO WITH YOU

AND WITH HELPING THE WORLD?

- DOBIE, AT THE AGE

WHEN YOU WERE DANCING
WITH THALIA MENNINGER,

I WAS LOCKED IN A LABORATORY
WORKING OUT A THEORY

THAT ONLY A FEW EGGHEADS
LIKE ME EVEN CARED ABOUT.

WHILE I WAS STANDING BY
OBSERVING, YOU WERE LIVING.

YOU WERE A PART OF LIFE.

I WAS OUTSIDE IT.

NOW, TELL ME, WHICH OF
US IS IN A BETTER POSITION

TO GIVE ADVICE ON
WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS?

- ME? OH, NO.

- YOU. YES.

THAT'S WHY I'M GOING
BACK TO FUNDAMENTALS,

TO THE BASIC PRIMITIVE THINGS.

I'VE GOT TO TRY TO LEARN
THE THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW,

AND THAT'S THE ADVICE I
WANT FROM YOU, DOBIE.

WHAT DOES THE WORLD
REALLY WANT FROM LIFE?

- OH, COME ON, DR. KLINE,

WHAT DOES A KID LIKE
ME KNOW ABOUT THAT?

- PLENTY, BECAUSE YOU LIVE LIFE.

NOW, SPEAK UP, DOBIE,
DON'T BE A PRIMA DONNA.

- WELL, I... I GUESS I WANT WHAT
EVERYBODY WANTS, HAPPINESS.

- AND WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

- HONESTLY, DR. KLINE.

- DON'T POKE ALONG,
DOBIE. GET TO THE POINT.

- WELL...

WELL, ONE PART OF
HAPPINESS IS HAVING A GIRL.

- A GIRL?

A GIRL, OF COURSE.

- AND FRIENDS, PEOPLE
YOU CARE ABOUT.

PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU.

- YES, THAT WE KNOW.

- WELL, EVERYBODY WANTS
A CHANCE FOR AN EDUCATION

SO THEY CAN LEARN
HOW TO MAKE A LIVING.

AND THEY WANT SOME
TIME TO ENJOY THEMSELVES

AFTER THEY'RE THROUGH WORKING

SO THEY CAN MAKE THAT
LIVING MEAN SOMETHING.

- OF COURSE.

- AND OF COURSE, THEY
WANT PEACE. PEACE.

OR ELSE OR NONE OF THE
REST OF IT MEANS ANYTHING.

- PEACE? WELL, WE'VE ALL TRIED.

HOW WOULD YOU GO ABOUT
ACHIEVING THAT, DOBIE?

- WELL, FOR OPENERS, I'D TRY
TO MAKE PEOPLE BE MORE POLITE.

- WELL, I'M ALL FOR THAT,

BUT I HARDLY THINK POLITENESS
WOULD BRING ABOUT PEACE.

- OH, SURE IT WOULD.

I DON'T MEAN POLITE
ONLY ON THE SURFACE

LIKE TAKING YOUR
HAT OFF IN ELEVATORS

OR USING THE RIGHT FORK.

I MEAN, POLITE
INSIDE, IN YOUR HEART.

AND HONEST RESPECT FOR THE
OTHER GUY'S FEELING AND OPINIONS,

EVEN IF YOU DON'T
AGREE WITH HIM.

- UH-HUH.

THAT DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE MUCH TO ASK,

AND YET IT'S
EVERYTHING, ISN'T IT?

- OH, YES.

AND WE NEED ONE MORE
THING. ONE MORE THING.

TIME TO DREAM ABOUT BETTER
DAYS, ABOUT A FINE, NEW WORLD.

- THAT'S A HECK OF A FINE DREAM.

- IT'S A HECK OF A
NECESSARY DREAM, BECAUSE...

WELL, WE'VE GOT TO
DREAM BEFORE WE CAN PLAN.

- INDEED YOU DO.

DOBIE, THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE,

THEY'RE WAITING FOR
SOME FINAL WORD FROM ME.

SOME MEMORABLE MESSAGE.

- THEY SURE ARE.

THEY MADE ME PROMISE
TO GET IT TO THEM.

- SO YOU WILL.

- YES, SIR, I'LL GET A
PENCIL AND WRITE IT DOWN.

- NO, DOBIE.

YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE THEM
THE MESSAGE, YOUR OWN MESSAGE.

- ME? OH, NO. COME
ON NOW, DR. KLINE.

- YOU, OF COURSE.

DOBIE, YOU'RE THE
HOPE OF THE WORLD.

YOU AND MILLIONS
OF OTHERS LIKE YOU,

YOUNG ENOUGH TO DREAM,

YOUNG ENOUGH TO MAKE
THOSE DREAMS COME TRUE.

NOW, GO, DOBIE, GIVE THEM THE
MESSAGE THEY'RE WAITING FOR.

I'M GOING TO SNEAK
OUT THE BACK DOOR.

CROWDS BUG ME.

- BUT I CAN'T SPEAK FOR YOU.

- SAYS WHO?

WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME,

I CAN NO LONGER GIVE
THEM, BUT YOU CAN.

YOU CAN GIVE THEM HOPE.

NOW, GO ON, SON.

AND SON, SPEAK UP.
NOW, DON'T MUMBLE.

I'M COUNTING ON YOU.

- I WONDER WHAT'S KEEPING
MY GOOD BUDDY SO LONG?

- YOUR GOOD BUDDY IS
RUINING DR. KLINE'S SCHEDULE.

- OH, HE'S PROBABLY IN THERE
TELLING THE GOOD DOCTOR

ALL ABOUT HIS FOLKS, THAT'S ALL.

- OR ABOUT ME, HIS GOOD BUDDY.

- WELL, I WISH HE'D...

COME... COME RIGHT OVER THIS
WAY TO THE TELEVISION CAMERA.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THIS IS THE MOMENT
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

YOUNG DOBIE GILLIS HAS AT
LAST REENTERED THE ANTEROOM

FROM HIS VISIT WITH DR. KLINE.

NOW AMERICA AND
THE WORLD WILL HEAR

DR. D.W. KLINE'S FINAL
MESSAGE TO US ALL.

WELL?

- WELL, HE SAID...
HE DIDN'T SAY MUCH.

HE'S AN AWFUL NICE MAN.

- YES. YES. WE ALL KNOW THAT,
DOBIE, BUT TRY TO BE SPECIFIC.

WE'RE ALL WAITING.

- WELL, DR. KLINE
SAID... LET'S SEE...

- YES, DOBIE. YES?

- WELL, HE SAID... HE SAID
BE KIND TO EACH OTHER.

HE SAID HAVE A DREAM.

HE SAID BELIEVE IN THAT DREAM.

I GUESS THAT'S ALL.

- THANK YOU, DOBIE,

FOR BRINGING US THESE
FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM

FROM ONE OF THE
GREAT SOULS OF OUR TIME.

BRAVE WORDS, STRONG WORDS.

MARK THESE WORDS WELL,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

BE KIND TO EACH OTHER.

HAVE A DREAM.

BELIEVE IN THAT DREAM.

- GISELLE, I HAVE
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU,

AND THERE'S NO USE ARGUING
BECAUSE MY MIND'S MADE UP.

I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY NAME.
- OKAY, DOBIE.

- IT'S A GREAT NAME AND IT
BELONGS TO A GREAT MAN

AND I'M... DID YOU SAY OKAY?

- THAT'S WHAT I SAID, OKAY.

- YOU MEAN YOU DON'T CARE
IF I DON'T CHANGE MY NAME?

- NO, DOBIE.

I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT

TO STICK UP FOR THE
THINGS YOU BELIEVE IN.

- WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.

WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE
YOUR MIND, GISELLE?

- WELL, YOU SEE, I...

DOBIE, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET MY FIANCÉ,

OTTLEBURT SCHAUMER, JR.