The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 3, Episode 14 - I Do Not Choose to Run - full transcript
Herbert decides to run for city planning commissioner. Dobie is proud to campaign for his father, that is until he meets a pretty girl, the next love of his life. She is Betty Jane Cheever, the daughter of Herbert's opponent, George G. Cheever. Betty Jane doesn't want the election to get between their possible relationship, but she does open Dobie's eyes to the primary issue of the campaign - Proposition E - which Cheever supports as it would tear down an aging neighborhood that many consider a slum. In discussions with his father about the election, Dobie learns that Herbert doesn't know about the issues at all - that he is campaigning solely on his charisma - but when he does hear about Proposition E, he doesn't support it because it is the neighborhood in which he grew up, which brings with it nostalgic and fond memories for him. This stance places a rift between Dobie and Herbert, which brings up whether standing up for one's beliefs, being informed and correct about an issue, or family is most important.
- VOTE FOR HERBERT T.
GILLIS, FOLKS, YOUR CANDIDATE.
[APPLAUSE]
GILLIS IS YOUR FRIEND.
STEADY AS A ROCK, SHARP
AS A TACK BUT HUMBLE.
COME ON, BOY, GET UP
HERE AND SAY A FEW WORDS
FOR YOUR OLD DAD.
LET'S HERE IT NOW, BIG AND LOUD.
- SURE, DAD. VOTE FOR GILLIS.
VOTE FOR HERBERT T. GILLIS
FOR THE PLANNING COMMISSION.
- NO, NO, NO. MORE OOMPH.
STIR 'EM UP, SHOCK 'EM.
HERE, LISTEN TO THE OLD PRO.
A VOTE FOR HERBERT T. GILLIS
IS A VOTE AGAINST HIS
OPPONENT, CHEEVER.
CHEEVER IS A RASCAL!
CHEEVER IS A SCOUNDREL!
- DAD, ARE YOU SURE THIS
MR. CHEEVER'S SUCH A RASCAL
AND A SCOUNDREL?
I'VE HEARD HE'S KIND OF...
- HE'S AGAINST ME, AIN'T HE?
- Both: CHEEVER'S A RASCAL,
CHEEVER'S A SCOUNDREL.
- HEAR, HEAR VOTERS, READ
ALL ABOUT HERBERT T. GILLIS:
THE HONEST, DECENT
CANDIDATE; AND HIS OPPONENT
GEORGE J. CHEEVER, THE
RASCAL AND SCOUNDREL.
VOTERS, IF...
- KEEP TALKIN', BOY. WHAT
ARE YOU STOPPING FOR?
OH, WHAT A STUPID
QUESTION, WHERE IS SHE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? [GROANS]
- HELLO THERE, LITTLE LADY.
HERE TO LEARN
ABOUT THE FASCINATING
WORLD OF POLITICS?
- SOUNDS EXCITING.
- OH, IT IS. IT IS.
AND HAPPILY, YOU'VE COME
TO EXACTLY THE RIGHT PERSON.
I'D BE DELIGHTED TO TEACH
YOU EVERYTHING I CAN.
IT MAY TAKE HOURS
FAR, FAR INTO THE NIGHT
BUT I SHALL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT
HONEST, UPRIGHT CANDIDATES
LIKE HERBERT T. GILLIS
AND RASCALS AND SCOUNDRELS
LIKE HIS LOWDOWN OPPONENT,
GEORGE J. CHEEVER.
- YOU WILL?
- MAIS, OUI, MA PETITE.
- I HAPPEN TO BE AN EMINENT
AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT.
I'M THE UPRIGHT
CANDIDATE'S SON, DOBIE GILLIS.
- AND I AM THE RASCAL AND
SCOUNDREL'S DAUGHTER,
BETTY JANE CHEEVER.
[JAZZ THEME]
- TALK ABOUT LUCK. I
MEAN, YOU TALK ABOUT LUCK.
I WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE
IT IF IT RAN UP AND BIT ME.
I SEE SO LITTLE OF IT.
HERE I MEET THE GIRL
I'VE BEEN SEARCHING
FOR ALL MY LIFE,
AND WHO DOES SHE TURN OUT TO BE?
THE DAUGHTER OF MY FATHER'S
DEADLY POLITICAL ENEMY.
- WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT
MAKE WHEN A BOY AND GIRL MEET
AND THEY LIKE EACH OTHER?
WE DO LIKE EACH OTHER, DON'T WE?
- LET'S GET MARRIED. DOES
THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
- YOU'RE REAL CUTE.
- YEAH.
- SO, YOU SEE, WE'D BE FOOLISH
TO LET A THING LIKE POLITICS
COME BETWEEN US,
DON'T YOU THINK?
- DON'T MOVE. I'LL
BE RIGHT BACK.
DAD, DAD, THAT GIRL.
- OKAY, SON,
HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT?
- NO, DAD.
- LOOK, YOU'VE BEEN
WORKING HARD IN THE STORE
AND YOU NEED A
LITTLE RELAXATION, BOY.
- DAD, LOOK.
- HERE. TAKE A COUPLE OF BUCKS.
- DAD, THE GIRL... THE
GIRL'S NAME IS CHEEVER.
SHE'S YOUR OPPONENT'S DAUGHTER.
- CHEEVER'S DAUGHTER? WHAT
SORT OF TRICK IS SHE UP TO?
- I DON'T KNOW, SHE
SEEMS VERY FRIENDLY.
- OH, THAT SNEAKY
CHEEVER TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF A POOR INNOCENT BOY.
HERE, SON, HERE'S FIVE.
GO DOWN AND SEE IF YOU CAN
WORM ANY INFORMATION OUT OF HER.
- DAD, SHE'S NOT
THAT KIND OF A GIRL.
- THAT'S WHAT THEY
SAID ABOUT MATA HARI.
- DAD, LOOK...
- SON,
WE ARE GOING TO RUN THIS
CAMPAIGN FAIR AND SQUARE.
NOW YOU GET OVER THERE
AND IF YOU CAN GET ANYTHING
OUT OF HER ABOUT HER OLD MAN,
WE'LL SMEAR 'EM GOOD.
- DAD, I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF.
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE
YOU DON'T TRUST ME.
- WELL, OF COURSE I TRUST
YOU. I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY.
LIKE AS IF YOU WAS MY OWN SON.
- DAD'S SUSPICIONS ABOUT
BETTY JANE WERE RIDICULOUS.
I TOOK HER OVER TO THE
CAMPUS CAFETERIA FOR ICE CREAM,
AND SHE WAS VERY UNDERSTANDING
WHEN I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HER
WHAT KIND OF A MAN DAD
REALLY IS... UNDERNEATH.
NOW, IT ISN'T EASY TO
EXPLAIN DAD TO A STRANGER
OR EVEN TO A FRIEND.
COME TO THINK OF IT,
I HAVEN'T GOT THE VAGUEST
NOTION OF WHAT MAKES HIM TICK.
WHATEVER DAD DOES,
HE GOES ALL OUT TO WIN.
- MY FATHER'S AN ENTIRELY
DIFFERENT SORT OF MAN,
HE'S A LIBRARIAN,
QUIET AND RESERVED.
HE DOESN'T SEEM TO
ENJOY GETTING OUT
AND ARGUING WITH PEOPLE
LIKE YOUR FATHER SEEMS TO.
- HE DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE THE KIND OF MAN
YOU'D EXPECT TO SEE
RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
- HE ISN'T. HE'S ONLY RUNNING
BECAUSE HE FEELS SO
STRONGLY ABOUT PROPOSITION E.
- PROPOSITION WHO?
- PROPOSITION E, YOU
KNOW, THE BILL TO TEAR DOWN
THOSE HORRIBLE OLD TENEMENT
BUILDINGS ON THE NORTH SIDE
SO THEY CAN PUT UP BEAUTIFUL
NEW SCHOOLS AND PARKS
AND PLAYGROUNDS.
- OH, THAT PROPOSITION E.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR FATHER
HASN'T TAKEN SOME STAND ON IT.
- BETTY JANE, I KNOW MY FATHER,
AND BELIEVE ME,
I CAN BELIEVE IT.
- DOBIE, I WOULD HATE TO SEE
THE ELECTION COME BETWEEN US,
BUT HOW CAN YOUR FATHER
RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE
IF HE ISN'T SIMPLY CRAMMED
FULL OF INFORMATION
ON ALL THE FACTS AND ISSUES?
- FACTS, ISSUES?
HMM. I IGNORE THEM.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT PROPOSITION E?
- PROPOSITION WHO?
- BETTY JANE WAS RIGHT.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INTEREST
IN THE BASIC QUESTIONS
OF THIS ELECTION.
- I KNEW WE'D HAVE
TROUBLE WITH CHEEVER.
I'M GONNA HAVE HIM
BROUGHT UP ON CHARGES
OF PREMEDITATED
ARSON OR SOMETHING.
- DAD, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT PROPOSITION E, DO YOU?
- I DON'T HAVE TO.
I'M IN POLITICS NOW.
- IT'S A MISERABLE SCHEME,
HERB, SOME CRACK-BRAIN NOTION.
THEY'RE GONNA TEAR DOWN
THE WHOLE NORTH SIDE.
- MULCAHEY, YOU
GOTTA BE KIDDIN'?
THE NORTH SIDE?
WHY, THAT'S THE OLDEST
NEIGHBORHOOD IN TOWN.
- DAD, IT'S A SLUM.
- IT IS NOT.
SOME OF OUR BIGGEST INDUSTRIES
HAVE THEIR FACTORIES OVER THERE.
THE SNAPPY BUGGY WHIP COMPANY,
SANITARY WHIPPLE
TREES INCORPORATED,
RACE ABOUT ELECTRIC
CAR CORPORATION.
- I WAS BORN IN
THAT NEIGHBORHOOD,
AND YOU WAS, TOO, HERB.
- RIGHT.
WHY, THEM TIME-HONORED
OLD BUILDINGS
MAY BE NOT TOO FANCY,
NO DELUXE TRIMMINGS.
- LIKE PLUMBING?
- NEVER MIND.
SO THEY AIN'T GOT
THE LATEST FACILITIES.
BUT IT'S NEIGHBORHOODS LIKE
THAT THAT BUILD CHARACTER.
WHY SOME OF THEM GRAND OLD
BUILDINGS BEEN STANDING THERE
OVER 150 YEARS,
AND TO TEAR 'EM DOWN
WOULD BE SHEER WASTE
AND DESTRUCTION.
AND I GO ON RECORD
AS BEING STRONGLY
AND LOGICALLY OPPOSED
TO PROPOSITION E.
- IN THAT CASE, DAD, I DON'T
KNOW IF I CAN SUPPORT YOU.
- YOU WHAT?
- YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME
TO SUPPORT YOU JUST
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FATHER.
- WHY NOT? I SUPPORT YOU
JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE MY SON.
- SHAME ON YOU, HERBERT.
INSTEAD OF BEING
ANGRY WITH DOBIE,
YOU OUGHT TO BE PROUD
THAT HE WANTS TO BE
AN INDEPENDENT VOTER.
- WELL, MAYBE
YOU'RE RIGHT, WINNIE.
SON, I'M SORRY I YAPPED AT YOU.
I KEEP FORGETTING YOU'RE NOT
LIKE THE GENERAL RUN OF VOTERS...
EMPTY-HEADED,
VACUUM-BRAINED, LOST IN A FOG.
- YOU RANG?
- HI, MAYNARD.
- LIKE, HI, MR. M.,
LIKE, HI, MR. G.,
LIKE, HI, DOBE G.,
LIKE, HI, MRS. G.
- HELLO, DEAR.
- NOW, THERE GOES
A TYPICAL VOTER.
NO INTEREST IN THE ISSUES.
ALL THEY WANT IS
NOISE AND FIREWORKS.
WATCH THIS.
MAYNARD, THEY'RE GONNA
TEAR DOWN THE NORTH SIDE.
- OH, WOE IS ME.
- THE OLD AND WONDERFUL
HISTORICAL NORTH SIDE.
- LIKE, ALAS AND ALACK.
- WHY, CERTAINLY.
THAT NEIGHBORHOOD ISN'T
JUST HOUSES AND BUILDINGS
AND STREETS.
HANDS OFF THE NORTH SIDE, I SAY.
- HANDS OFF THE
NORTH SIDE, I SAY.
- TRADITION, HISTORY, MEMORIES.
- HANDS OFF THE NORTH SIDE.
- RIGHT. AND THEY
WANNA TEAR IT DOWN.
ARE WE GONNA LET 'EM?
- HANDS OFF THE NORTH SIDE!
- RIGHT, HANDS
OFF THE NORTH SIDE!
- MR. G.!
- WHAT?
- WHERE'S THE NORTH SIDE?
- WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
IT'S THAT NEIGHBORHOOD
RIGHT UP THERE ON RIVER STREET.
- OH, YEAH, THE SLUMS.
- WAIT A MINUTE, MAYNARD,
THAT AIN'T THE SLUMS.
- CERTAINLY NOT. IT'S
NEIGHBORHOODS LIKE THAT
THAT BUILD CHARACTER,
PREPARE YOU FOR
THE BATTLE OF LIFE,
TOUGHEN YOU UP,
FORGE YOU INTO STEEL.
HANDS OFF TRADITION, I SAY!
- NO, DAD, BETTY JANE
SHOWED ME THAT IT'S IMPORTANT
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A
CANDIDATE STANDS FOR,
SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE
FIGURED OUT FOR MYSELF.
- HI, MR. GILLIS, WE'RE
FROM THE DAILY COURIER.
- HELLO.
- AH, DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMEN
OF THE PRESS, WELCOME.
- HOW ABOUT A COUPLE OF PICTURES
AND MAYBE A BRIEF
POLICY STATEMENT?
- HANDS OFF THE SLUMS!
- MAYNARD.
THEY BUILD CHARACTER
AND FORCE 'EM TO STEELY!
- MAYNARD, THAT IS
FORGE INTO STEEL AND...
I GOT A STATEMENT TO MAKE.
NOW, A FEW WORDS
UPON THE ISSUES.
MY OPPONENT, CHEEVER, IS
A LIBRARIAN, A DO-GOODER.
WHAT EXPERIENCE DOES HE HAVE
TO FACE THE COLD,
HARD FACTS OF LIFE?
NONE.
NOW, WHEN THE
VOTERS FIND THIS OUT...
I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA,
LET US DEBATE THE
ISSUES ON TELEVISION.
LET THE VOTERS DECIDE WHETHER
THEY WANT A NAMBY-PAMBY THINKER
OR A TWO-FISTED GO-GETTER.
AND IF CHEEVER IS HALF
THE MAN HERBERT T. GILLIS IS,
HE WON'T NEVER
REFUSE NO CHALLENGE.
- OKAY, MR. GILLIS, WE'LL
STRAIGHTEN OUT THE GRAMMAR
AND PRINT YOUR CHALLENGE
IN THE MORNING EDITION.
NOW HOW ABOUT A
LITTLE FAMILY PICTURE.
MRS. GILLIS, WANNA STAND OVER
HERE NEXT TO YOUR HUSBAND?
- I'M MULCAHEY, THE
CANDIDATE'S LOST BROTHER
AND ALSO HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER.
- I'M MAYNARD G. KREBS
AND I'M FROM THE SLUMS.
- WELL, WAIT A
MINUTE. WHO ARE YOU?
- DOBIE GILLIS, SIR.
- OH, THE CANDIDATE'S SON.
WELL, MOVE OVER RIGHT OVER
HERE, BOY, NEXT TO YOUR FATHER.
- NO, SIR, I DON'T
THINK I'D BETTER.
I MEAN, IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT
FOR ME TO POSE IN THE PICTURE.
- HOW COME?
- WELL, SIR,
I THINK MY FATHER'S
A WONDERFUL GUY
AND I LOVE HIM AND
RESPECT HIM, BUT...
- BUT WHAT?
- BUT WHAT, SON, WHAT?
- BUT I'VE GOT TO
CAMPAIGN FOR MR. CHEEVER.
- AND STAY OUT.
- THERE COMES A...
THERE COMES A TIME WHEN
A FELLA'S GOT TO STAND UP
FOR HIS PRINCIPLES.
WHEN DAD REFUSED TO EVEN
LISTEN TO THOSE PRINCIPLES
AND THREW ME OUT,
WELL, IT HURT MY PRIDE.
IT HURT MY SELF-RESPECT.
IT... [SIGHS]
WELL, IT HURT.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR HEARING OUR SIDE.
AND REMEMBER, VOTE FOR
GEORGE J. CHEEVER, FRIENDS.
HE'S FOR PROPOSITION E.
HE'S A MAN OF PRINCIPLE,
AND HE KNOWS THE ISSUES,
AND HE KNOWS THE FACTS.
- NOT SO LOUD, DEAR.
WE DON'T WANNA DISTURB THE
PEOPLE WHO LIVE AROUND HERE.
- DAD, WE'VE GOT TO
LET EVERYBODY KNOW
WHAT THIS CAMPAIGN IS ALL ABOUT.
WE'RE IN A ROUGH,
TOUGH ELECTION.
YOU CAN'T JUST... HI, DOBIE.
- HI, BETTY JANE.
- DADDY, THIS IS DOBIE GILLIS.
- HOW DO YOU DO, MR. CHEEVER.
IT'S AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.
- LIKEWISE, MY BOY.
I'VE HEARD VERY GOOD
THINGS ABOUT YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
YES, VERY GOOD
THINGS FROM BETTY JANE.
- OH, DADDY.
- I MUST HAVE SAID THE
WRONG THING AGAIN,
BUT THEN I USUALLY DO.
- NO, YOU DON'T, SIR,
AT LEAST NOT ABOUT THE
ISSUES IN THIS CAMPAIGN.
THAT'S WHY I'VE
COME TO VOLUNTEER
WHATEVER HELP I CAN GIVE.
I'M FOR PROPOSITION
E, AND I'M FOR YOU.
- WELL, THAT'S TERRIBLY
KIND OF YOU, DOBIE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR FATHER?
WHAT DOES HE THINK OF THIS?
- MY FATHER AND
I AREN'T TALKING.
I'VE JUST MOVED
OUT OF THE HOUSE,
UH, BY REQUEST.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO
TO HELP YOUR CAMPAIGN,
MR. CHEEVER? JUST NAME IT.
- DOBIE, I'M GRATEFUL
FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
BUT I WON'T LET
THE ELECTION COME
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER.
- WELL, DAD JUST
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
- HAVE YOU TRIED TO
EXPLAIN THIS TO HIM?
- SURE.
- I MEAN, REALLY EXPLAIN?
- WELL...
- WELL, TRY IT, MY BOY.
ELECTIONS AND ISSUES
ARE IMPORTANT, CERTAINLY,
AND A YOUNG MAN'S ENTHUSIASM
IS EXCITING TO BEHOLD.
BUT NONE OF THESE THINGS
COMPARES EVEN SLIGHTLY
TO THE BOND BETWEEN
A FATHER AND A SON.
- DADDY'S RIGHT, DOBIE.
DON'T TURN YOUR
BACK ON YOUR FATHER
TILL YOU'VE HAD A CHANCE
TO DISCUSS THIS WITH HIM
CALMLY AND QUIETLY.
- I'M SURE HE'LL LISTEN
TO YOUR EXPLANATION
WITH AN OPEN MIND.
HE'S A FAIR MAN.
- SURE, I'LL LISTEN
TO YOUR EXPLANATION
WITH AN OPEN
MIND. I'M A FAIR MAN.
- THANKS, DAD, I WAS
HOPING YOU'D FEEL THAT WAY.
- SURE, SO START
TALKING, BENEDICT ARNOLD.
- HERBERT, YOU
SAID YOU'D BE FAIR.
- OKAY, OKAY. I'M
FAIR. EXPLAIN ALREADY.
- NOW, IN THE FIRST PLACE...
- WHY DID YOU DO IT, SON, WHY?
HAVE I BEEN A CRUEL FATHER?
HAVE I BEEN MEAN TO YOU?
- HERBERT, LET HIM EXPLAIN.
- WHO'S STOPPING
HIM? EXPLAIN ALREADY.
- YOU SEE, DAD...
- YOU'D THINK THAT I DIDN'T
DO EVERYTHING I COULD
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
- HERBERT, LET HIM EXPLAIN.
- EXPLAIN.
- DAD, I'VE MET MR. CHEEVER,
AND YOU'RE A HUNDRED TIMES
BETTER CANDIDATE THAN HE IS.
- OH?
- ABSOLUTELY.
HE'S DRAB AND DULL.
YOU'RE COLORFUL AND DASHING.
HE'S TIMID AND SHY. YOU'RE
DYNAMIC AND FORCEFUL.
- YOU SEE, WINNIE, HOW I
DON'T INTERRUPT THE BOY
WHEN HE'S TALKING SENSE?
- DO YOU SEE, HERBERT, WHAT
YOUR SON THINKS OF YOU?
NOW YOU FORGIVE HIM. YOU
GO AHEAD AND FORGIVE HIM.
- SURE, SON, I FORGIVE YOU.
- YEAH.
- AND WELCOME HOME.
- THANK YOU, DAD.
- YOU JUST FELT
SORRY FOR CHEEVER
BECAUSE HE'S A SHNOOK,
BECAUSE HE'S DULL AND DRAB,
AND I'M COLORFUL AND DASHING.
- RIGHT, DAD, THAT'S RIGHT.
- BECAUSE HE'S TIMID
AND I'M FORCEFUL.
- YES, DAD.
- AND BECAUSE HE'S SHY
AND I'M DYNAMIC.
- YES, DAD.
BUT THERE'S ONE
IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- HE'S RIGHT, AND YOU'RE WRONG.
- AND I MEAN STAY OUT.
- SO I MADE UP MY MIND TO
MOVE AWAY FROM HOME FOR GOOD
AND PLUNGE INTO THE
CAMPAIGN TO ELECT MR. CHEEVER.
I HAD TO PROVE,
ESPECIALLY TO MYSELF,
THAT I'VE GOT BACKBONE.
- YES, MY FELLOW CITIZENS,
THE ISSUE HERE IS
PROGRESS OR STAGNATION.
WILL OUR TOWN WHITHER AND DIE
STRANGLED BY CRUMBLING SLUMS?
OR WILL IT PROSPER AND
GROW WITH PROPOSITION E
AND GEORGE J. CHEEVER?
- JUST A MINUTE, LADDIE,
WHAT ABOUT LOYALTY?
CAN WE BELIEVE A KID WHO
DOUBLE-CROSSED HIS OWN FATHER?
- SIR, IF MY FATHER
WAS A CANDIDATE
FOR THE WORLD'S GREATEST
FATHER, I'D BE CAMPAIGNING FOR HIM.
HE'S A GREAT GUY,
AND I LOVE HIM.
BUT HE'S ALL WRONG
ON PROPOSITION E,
AND THAT'S WHY I'M FOR CHEEVER.
- HI, DAD.
- LIKE, HI MR. G., BEARDS
ARE THE MOST, HUH?
- MAYNARD!
- THE ELECTION CAMPAIGN
WENT ON HOT AND HEAVY
IN PARKS AND AUDITORIUMS
AND ON STREET CORNERS.
- THANK YOU, FELLOW CITIZENS
AND FANS OF GOOD GOVERNMENT.
AND I PROMISE YOU THAT I
SHALL CONDUCT THIS CAMPAIGN
UPON THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE LEVEL.
NO INSINUATIONS. NO INNUENDOS.
NO NAME-CALLING
LIKE MY SLEAZY, SLINKY-EYED,
TREACHEROUS OPPONENT
AND HIS CROOKED SUPPORTERS.
- ATTA-BOY!
[WHISTLES]
- BUT THE BIG GUNS WERE SAVED
FOR THE TELEVISION DEBATES,
AND THEY WERE A SMASH.
IN AT LEAST ONE WAY,
THEY EVEN TOPPED THE
FAMOUS KENNEDY-NIXON CONTEST.
THEY WERE LOUDER.
- PLEASE, THE FEDERAL LAW
SPECIFICALLY FORBIDS THE USE
OF SUCH LANGUAGE ON THE AIR.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND, MR. GILLIS?
ANY FURTHER OUTBURSTS
AND WE MAY BE
CENSORED OFF THE AIR.
- NOW, MR. CHEEVER,
PLEASE CONTINUE.
- WELL, THANK YOU.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LET ME GET RIGHT TO
THE HEART OF THE ISSUE
BY STATING BLUNTLY
AND FRANKLY THAT...
I FORGOT MY GLASSES.
I DON'T SEE VERY WELL
WITHOUT MY GLASSES.
- LET'S BE HONEST.
MR. CHEEVER WAS NOT THE
BEST SPEAKER IN THE WORLD.
LET'S BE EVEN MORE
HONEST. HE WAS THE WORST.
I MEAN, THAT AUDIENCE
IN THE TELEVISION STUDIO
KEPT LOOKING AT THE EXITS
LIKE THEY WERE WAITING
FOR SOMEBODY TO HOLLER
"WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!"
BUT FINALLY HE FINISHED,
AND THEN IT WAS DAD'S TURN.
BOY, WHAT A DIFFERENCE.
MR. CHEEVER'S SPEECH
MEANT VERY LITTLE.
BUT DAD'S SPEECH,
ON THE OTHER HAND,
MEANT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
-NEIGHBORS, HAVE WE
LOST THE PIONEER SPIRIT?
DO WE NEED FACTS AND FIGURES
TO TELL US WHAT IS RIGHT?
I SAY NO.
MR. CHEEVER WANTS TO DO
AWAY WITH THE NORTH SIDE
BECAUSE IT'S GETTING OLD.
MAYBE OUR WIVES
ARE GETTING OLD TOO.
BUT DO WE WANNA
DO AWAY WITH THEM?
NO. BECAUSE WE STILL LOVE THEM,
AND THEY BRING
BACK FOND MEMORIES.
AND SO I SHALL
FIGHT TO THE DEATH
TO PRESERVE MY RIGHT NOT
TO THROW AWAY MY OLD WIFE
OR THE OLD NORTH SIDE.
- DID YOU HEAR THAT
DOUBLE TALK AND GIBBERISH?
YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THE
AUDIENCE REACTED TO IT.
- YOU WERE WONDERFUL...
- BRILLIANT!
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
- THANK YOU, AND
WHEN I AM ELECTED
AND YOU WANNA SEE ME,
JUST COME DOWN TO CITY HALL.
MY OFFICE DOOR
WILL ALWAYS BE OPEN.
- GOOD NIGHT, MR. COMMISSIONER.
- GOOD NIGHT, MULCAHEY.
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
- HEY, DOBE! DOBE!
YOU'D HAVE BEEN PROUD
OF YOUR OLD MAN TONIGHT.
THEY APPLAUDED
AND WHISTLED AND...
OH, I KEEP FORGETTING
HE AIN'T HERE,
THE TREACHEROUS TRAITOR.
- IT SEEMS SO EMPTY AND
QUIET HERE WITHOUT HIM.
HERBERT, PLEASE
GO AND FIND OUR BOY
AND BRING HIM HOME.
WHAT SHALL IT AVAIL OF
YOU IF YOU WIN THE ELECTION
AND LOSETH YOUR OWN SON?
- YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'D LIKE
TO DO IT, WINNIE, I JUST CAN'T.
- HERBERT, THERE ISN'T
ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN'T
IF IT WILL HOLD OUR
FAMILY TOGETHER.
PLEASE GO AND FIND HIM.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, WINNIE,
NO SACRIFICE IS TOO
GREAT FOR OUR BOY.
I'LL START FIRST
THING IN THE MORNING.
- THANK YOU, DEAR. THANK YOU.
YOU MAY HAVE TO SEARCH
ALL OVER TOWN TO LOCATE HIM.
- I'LL DO IT.
- YOU MAY HAVE TO
SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE.
- I'LL DO IT.
- YOU MAY HAVE TO
TALK TO MAYNARD.
- I'LL DO IT.
THAT OUGHT TO PROVE TO
YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THE BOY.
- VOTE FOR CHEEVER,
FOLKS, VOTE FOR CHEEVER.
ON ELECTION DAY, GET OUT THERE
AND EXERCISE YOUR FRANCHISE
FOR GOOD GOVERNMENT.
- LIKE, RIGHT, DON'T GET
CAUGHT RUNNING AROUND
WITH NO FLABBY FRANCHISES.
VOTE FOR CHEEVER,
LIKE, HE'S THE MOST.
LIKE, HE'S THE
WILDEST. LIKE, BYE!
- MAYNARD!
- NO, NO, NEGATIVE
CAPITAL N-O-E.
NO, I AIN'T TELLIN'.
- TELLIN' WHAT?
- WHERE MY GOOD BUDDY DOBIE IS.
I, LIKE, OWE THEM IN
BLOOD I WOULDN'T FINK,
AND I AIN'T GONNA RAT
ON MY TRUE PAL DOBIE.
I MEAN, HE CAN,
LIKE, RELY ON ME.
- MAYNARD, PLEASE,
WHERE IS DOBIE?
- DOBIE WHO?
- COME ON, MAYNARD.
- DESCRIBE HIM.
- MAYNARD, THIS IS SERIOUS.
I GOTTA SEE MY BOY, DOBIE.
- DOBIE WHO?
- MISS, YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS.
COME ON, PLEASE,
TELL ME WHERE IS DOBIE?
- DOBIE WHO?
- ALL RIGHT.
SO AFTER THE WAY I TREATED HIM
I DON'T DESERVE TO
EVER SEE HIM AGAIN
OR TALK TO HIM AGAIN.
I WAS MEAN AND
RUDE AND ROTTEN...
- NO, NO, NO, YOU WERE JUST
A LITTLE QUICK-TEMPERED.
- HE WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
- MAYNARD... I AGREE WITH YOU.
BUT, MISS, YOU GOTTA
TAKE ME TO DOBIE.
I GOTTA SEE HIM. I
GOTTA MAKE UP WITH HIM.
I JUST GOTTA.
COME ON, NOW. WHERE'S DOBIE?
- DOBIE WHO?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- OH, COMING, COMING.
"BUT THE VOTERS OF OUR
CITY MUST SEE FOR THEMSELVES
"HOW A RUNDOWN NEIGHBORHOOD
DESTROYS THE MORALE OF
EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN IT."
OH. HI, DAD.
- HELLO, BOY.
- UH, HOW'S MOM?
- OH, SHE'S FINE.
MISSES YOU, OF COURSE.
- I MISS HER TOO.
MAYNARD, YOU PROMISED YOU
WOULDN'T TELL WHERE I WAS.
- I COULDN'T HELP IT, DOBE. YOU
EVER SEE A GROWN MAN CRY?
IT'S SPOOKY.
- DON'T BLAME MAYNARD, DOBIE.
YOU AND YOUR FATHER CAN'T GO ON
ACTING LIKE STRANGERS
TO EACH OTHER.
IT'S TERRIBLE FOR BOTH OF YOU.
- THAT'S GOOD THINKING, GIRLIE,
ESPECIALLY FOR A CHEEVER.
DOBE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN A DUMP LIKE THIS?
- OH, THIS ISN'T A DUMP, DAD.
IT'S ONE OF THE GLORIOUS
AND HISTORICAL LANDMARKS
OF THE NORTH SIDE.
THE WHOLE PLACE
REEKS OF TRADITION.
- SO THAT'S WHAT IT IS, HUH?
EVERYTHING'S SO
CHANGED AROUND HERE.
IT'S ONLY A SHORT 35 YEARS.
HOW COULD A NEIGHBORHOOD
CHANGE SO MUCH IN SUCH A SHORT TIME?
MAYBE IT HASN'T CHANGED
AND EVERYTHING ELSE HAS,
LIKE ME.
[CHILDREN PLAYING]
PEOPLE STILL LIVE
AROUND HERE TOO.
AND NOT JUST FOR A COUPLE
OF DAYS LIKE YOU, SON,
BUT PERMANENTLY LIVE HERE
AND BRING UP THEIR KIDS HERE.
THEY GOTTA PLAY OUT
IN THOSE DIRTY STREETS
AND BEAT-UP LOTS.
IT'S A CRYING SHAME.
ANYBODY THAT WOULD
BRING HIS KIDS UP
IN A NEIGHBORHOOD LIKE THIS
OUGHT TO BE RUN OUT OF TOWN.
- THERE'S ANOTHER WAY, DAD.
GIVE THEM A BETTER PLACE
TO BRING UP THEIR KIDS.
- WHAT CAN I SAY, BOY?
I JUST DIDN'T GIVE
TWO SECONDS THOUGHT
TO THINGS I SHOULD'VE
KNOWN ALL ALONG.
I'M SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED
AND MULEHEADED.
- NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- SURE HE IS.
- THIS WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD
HAS TO BE TORN DOWN
AND REBUILT AGAIN
SO THE PEOPLE
CAN LIVE HERE LIKE...
LIKE PEOPLE.
THE OLD NORTH SIDE JUST
AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.
YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK
OF IT, IT PROBABLY NEVER WAS.
- OH, DAD, I KNEW
YOU'D UNDERSTAND
ONCE YOU FACED UP TO THE FACTS.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH, MR. GILLIS.
- MR. G., YOU'RE, LIKE,
A REAL HUMAN BEING,
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
LET'S NOT GET ALL FLUSTERED
JUST BECAUSE I CAUGHT ON, HUH?
AFTER ALL, YOU KNOW,
I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE
THE ROOF FALL IN ON ME.
- MAYBE IT'LL HELP.
- MY FATHER'S A MAN WITH
A STRONG, STUBBORN MIND.
BUT NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT
HIS MIND CAN'T BE CHANGED.
IT'S A CINCH.
ALL IT TAKES IS FOR THE
ROOF TO FALL IN ON HIM.
AND THAT'S WHY
WHEN HERBERT T. GILLIS
SHOWED UP FOR THE
SECOND TELEVISION DEBATE,
HE WAS A DIFFERENT
HERBERT T. GILLIS.
- LAME BRAINS, IF WE
ALLOW POVERTY, DISEASE
AND CRIME TO
CONTINUE RUNNING WILD
JUST BECAUSE WE WANNA
HOLD ON TO SOMETHING
THAT AIN'T THERE ANYMORE
AND PROBABLY NEVER WAS.
SO I SAY LET'S ALL SAY
GOODBYE TO THE OLD NORTH SIDE.
THAT'S YESTERDAY.
AND LET'S GET OUT AND
FIGHT FOR PROPOSITION E.
THAT'S TOMORROW.
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I COULD NEVER HAVE PRESENTED
SUCH A STIRRING ARGUMENT
FOR PROPOSITION E AS
MR. GILLIS HAS JUST DONE.
SO I'M WITHDRAWING
FROM THE CAMPAIGN
TO ALLOW HIM TO BE
ELECTED UNANIMOUSLY.
- CHEEVER, CHEEVER!
OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
DON'T BE A DIRTY TURNCOAT
LIKE ME! I WITHDRAW!
- GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE, NO ABUSIVE LANGUAGE.
- I WITHDRAW!
- CHEEVER,
YOU ARE AN IMPRACTICAL EGGHEAD.
WHY DON'T YOU USE
THAT EGGHEAD OF YOURS
FOR SOMETHING BESIDES
KEEPING YOUR EARS
FROM FLAPPING TOGETHER
LIKE A COUPLE OF CYMBALS?
- MR. GILLIS, FOR SHAME. I
WARNED YOU ABOUT THE CENSOR.
AT ANY RATE, THE
LAWS OF OUR CITY
DO NOT ALLOW EITHER CANDIDATE
TO WITHDRAW AT THIS TIME,
SO THE DECISION MUST
BE LEFT TO THE VOTERS.
- VOTERS, VOTE FOR CHEEVER!
- NO, VOTE FOR GILLIS!
- NO, VOTE FOR CHEEVER!
I AM TELLING YOU...
- HE'S THE ONE...
- THE CAMPAIGN TO ELECT A NEW
PLANNING COMMISSIONER HAD BEGUN,
AND WHAT A CAMPAIGN.
IT WAS UNUSUAL AND DIFFERENT
AND WELL, WHAT IT
WAS WAS RIDICULOUS.
I MEAN, DAD CAMPAIGNED
FOR MR. CHEEVER,
AND MR. CHEEVER
CAMPAIGNED FOR DAD,
AND MAYNARD AND BETTY JANE
AND I CAMPAIGNED FOR EVERYBODY.
IT'S CAMPAIGNS LIKE THIS
THAT MAKE YOU WONDER
IF PAUL REVERE SHOULDN'T
HAVE FALLEN OFF HIS HORSE.
- YES, HERE IT IS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I'VE JUST BEEN HANDED
THE FINAL TALLY:
CHEEVER 1,682. GILLIS, 1,683.
GILLIS WINS BY ONE VOTE.
- OH, THANK YOU,
FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS
AND FANS OF GOOD GOVERNMENT.
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN BY
AN OVERWHELMING MAJORITY.
- ONE VOTE? OVERWHELMING?
- NEVER MIND, MAYNARD.
AND ON THIS GRAND
AND GLORIOUS OCCASION
I HAVE PREPARED A FEW
WORDS OF APPRECIATION.
FROM THE ROCKBOUND
COASTS OF MAINE
TO THE SUNNY SHORES
OF CALIFORNIA...
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY ♪
[LAUGHTER, CHATTER]
- HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?
- I HAVEN'T SOLD THIS
MANY PAPERS IN MONTHS.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS.
FORESTAND THE GRAMMIS STAKES.
STAND BACK, FOLKS, WE
GOTTA GRIMPER THE TREE RING.
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- JUST PASSED
PROPOSITION E, YOU KNOW?
- WE KNOW, SO?
- SO WE'RE TEARING
ALL THIS DOWN.
WE'RE GONNA PUT UP
SOME NEW HOUSES, SCHOOLS
A SHOPPIN' CENTER.
TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
THIS STORE'S PART
OF THE 10 BLOCKS
THAT GOTTA COME DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, LIONEL, REV
UP THE FRAMMIS SAW.
- HEY, HOLD IT! YOU CAN'T...
- [BOTH SHOUTING]
GILLIS, FOLKS, YOUR CANDIDATE.
[APPLAUSE]
GILLIS IS YOUR FRIEND.
STEADY AS A ROCK, SHARP
AS A TACK BUT HUMBLE.
COME ON, BOY, GET UP
HERE AND SAY A FEW WORDS
FOR YOUR OLD DAD.
LET'S HERE IT NOW, BIG AND LOUD.
- SURE, DAD. VOTE FOR GILLIS.
VOTE FOR HERBERT T. GILLIS
FOR THE PLANNING COMMISSION.
- NO, NO, NO. MORE OOMPH.
STIR 'EM UP, SHOCK 'EM.
HERE, LISTEN TO THE OLD PRO.
A VOTE FOR HERBERT T. GILLIS
IS A VOTE AGAINST HIS
OPPONENT, CHEEVER.
CHEEVER IS A RASCAL!
CHEEVER IS A SCOUNDREL!
- DAD, ARE YOU SURE THIS
MR. CHEEVER'S SUCH A RASCAL
AND A SCOUNDREL?
I'VE HEARD HE'S KIND OF...
- HE'S AGAINST ME, AIN'T HE?
- Both: CHEEVER'S A RASCAL,
CHEEVER'S A SCOUNDREL.
- HEAR, HEAR VOTERS, READ
ALL ABOUT HERBERT T. GILLIS:
THE HONEST, DECENT
CANDIDATE; AND HIS OPPONENT
GEORGE J. CHEEVER, THE
RASCAL AND SCOUNDREL.
VOTERS, IF...
- KEEP TALKIN', BOY. WHAT
ARE YOU STOPPING FOR?
OH, WHAT A STUPID
QUESTION, WHERE IS SHE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? [GROANS]
- HELLO THERE, LITTLE LADY.
HERE TO LEARN
ABOUT THE FASCINATING
WORLD OF POLITICS?
- SOUNDS EXCITING.
- OH, IT IS. IT IS.
AND HAPPILY, YOU'VE COME
TO EXACTLY THE RIGHT PERSON.
I'D BE DELIGHTED TO TEACH
YOU EVERYTHING I CAN.
IT MAY TAKE HOURS
FAR, FAR INTO THE NIGHT
BUT I SHALL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT
HONEST, UPRIGHT CANDIDATES
LIKE HERBERT T. GILLIS
AND RASCALS AND SCOUNDRELS
LIKE HIS LOWDOWN OPPONENT,
GEORGE J. CHEEVER.
- YOU WILL?
- MAIS, OUI, MA PETITE.
- I HAPPEN TO BE AN EMINENT
AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT.
I'M THE UPRIGHT
CANDIDATE'S SON, DOBIE GILLIS.
- AND I AM THE RASCAL AND
SCOUNDREL'S DAUGHTER,
BETTY JANE CHEEVER.
[JAZZ THEME]
- TALK ABOUT LUCK. I
MEAN, YOU TALK ABOUT LUCK.
I WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE
IT IF IT RAN UP AND BIT ME.
I SEE SO LITTLE OF IT.
HERE I MEET THE GIRL
I'VE BEEN SEARCHING
FOR ALL MY LIFE,
AND WHO DOES SHE TURN OUT TO BE?
THE DAUGHTER OF MY FATHER'S
DEADLY POLITICAL ENEMY.
- WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT
MAKE WHEN A BOY AND GIRL MEET
AND THEY LIKE EACH OTHER?
WE DO LIKE EACH OTHER, DON'T WE?
- LET'S GET MARRIED. DOES
THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
- YOU'RE REAL CUTE.
- YEAH.
- SO, YOU SEE, WE'D BE FOOLISH
TO LET A THING LIKE POLITICS
COME BETWEEN US,
DON'T YOU THINK?
- DON'T MOVE. I'LL
BE RIGHT BACK.
DAD, DAD, THAT GIRL.
- OKAY, SON,
HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT?
- NO, DAD.
- LOOK, YOU'VE BEEN
WORKING HARD IN THE STORE
AND YOU NEED A
LITTLE RELAXATION, BOY.
- DAD, LOOK.
- HERE. TAKE A COUPLE OF BUCKS.
- DAD, THE GIRL... THE
GIRL'S NAME IS CHEEVER.
SHE'S YOUR OPPONENT'S DAUGHTER.
- CHEEVER'S DAUGHTER? WHAT
SORT OF TRICK IS SHE UP TO?
- I DON'T KNOW, SHE
SEEMS VERY FRIENDLY.
- OH, THAT SNEAKY
CHEEVER TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF A POOR INNOCENT BOY.
HERE, SON, HERE'S FIVE.
GO DOWN AND SEE IF YOU CAN
WORM ANY INFORMATION OUT OF HER.
- DAD, SHE'S NOT
THAT KIND OF A GIRL.
- THAT'S WHAT THEY
SAID ABOUT MATA HARI.
- DAD, LOOK...
- SON,
WE ARE GOING TO RUN THIS
CAMPAIGN FAIR AND SQUARE.
NOW YOU GET OVER THERE
AND IF YOU CAN GET ANYTHING
OUT OF HER ABOUT HER OLD MAN,
WE'LL SMEAR 'EM GOOD.
- DAD, I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF.
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE
YOU DON'T TRUST ME.
- WELL, OF COURSE I TRUST
YOU. I TRUST YOU COMPLETELY.
LIKE AS IF YOU WAS MY OWN SON.
- DAD'S SUSPICIONS ABOUT
BETTY JANE WERE RIDICULOUS.
I TOOK HER OVER TO THE
CAMPUS CAFETERIA FOR ICE CREAM,
AND SHE WAS VERY UNDERSTANDING
WHEN I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HER
WHAT KIND OF A MAN DAD
REALLY IS... UNDERNEATH.
NOW, IT ISN'T EASY TO
EXPLAIN DAD TO A STRANGER
OR EVEN TO A FRIEND.
COME TO THINK OF IT,
I HAVEN'T GOT THE VAGUEST
NOTION OF WHAT MAKES HIM TICK.
WHATEVER DAD DOES,
HE GOES ALL OUT TO WIN.
- MY FATHER'S AN ENTIRELY
DIFFERENT SORT OF MAN,
HE'S A LIBRARIAN,
QUIET AND RESERVED.
HE DOESN'T SEEM TO
ENJOY GETTING OUT
AND ARGUING WITH PEOPLE
LIKE YOUR FATHER SEEMS TO.
- HE DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE THE KIND OF MAN
YOU'D EXPECT TO SEE
RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
- HE ISN'T. HE'S ONLY RUNNING
BECAUSE HE FEELS SO
STRONGLY ABOUT PROPOSITION E.
- PROPOSITION WHO?
- PROPOSITION E, YOU
KNOW, THE BILL TO TEAR DOWN
THOSE HORRIBLE OLD TENEMENT
BUILDINGS ON THE NORTH SIDE
SO THEY CAN PUT UP BEAUTIFUL
NEW SCHOOLS AND PARKS
AND PLAYGROUNDS.
- OH, THAT PROPOSITION E.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR FATHER
HASN'T TAKEN SOME STAND ON IT.
- BETTY JANE, I KNOW MY FATHER,
AND BELIEVE ME,
I CAN BELIEVE IT.
- DOBIE, I WOULD HATE TO SEE
THE ELECTION COME BETWEEN US,
BUT HOW CAN YOUR FATHER
RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE
IF HE ISN'T SIMPLY CRAMMED
FULL OF INFORMATION
ON ALL THE FACTS AND ISSUES?
- FACTS, ISSUES?
HMM. I IGNORE THEM.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT PROPOSITION E?
- PROPOSITION WHO?
- BETTY JANE WAS RIGHT.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INTEREST
IN THE BASIC QUESTIONS
OF THIS ELECTION.
- I KNEW WE'D HAVE
TROUBLE WITH CHEEVER.
I'M GONNA HAVE HIM
BROUGHT UP ON CHARGES
OF PREMEDITATED
ARSON OR SOMETHING.
- DAD, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT PROPOSITION E, DO YOU?
- I DON'T HAVE TO.
I'M IN POLITICS NOW.
- IT'S A MISERABLE SCHEME,
HERB, SOME CRACK-BRAIN NOTION.
THEY'RE GONNA TEAR DOWN
THE WHOLE NORTH SIDE.
- MULCAHEY, YOU
GOTTA BE KIDDIN'?
THE NORTH SIDE?
WHY, THAT'S THE OLDEST
NEIGHBORHOOD IN TOWN.
- DAD, IT'S A SLUM.
- IT IS NOT.
SOME OF OUR BIGGEST INDUSTRIES
HAVE THEIR FACTORIES OVER THERE.
THE SNAPPY BUGGY WHIP COMPANY,
SANITARY WHIPPLE
TREES INCORPORATED,
RACE ABOUT ELECTRIC
CAR CORPORATION.
- I WAS BORN IN
THAT NEIGHBORHOOD,
AND YOU WAS, TOO, HERB.
- RIGHT.
WHY, THEM TIME-HONORED
OLD BUILDINGS
MAY BE NOT TOO FANCY,
NO DELUXE TRIMMINGS.
- LIKE PLUMBING?
- NEVER MIND.
SO THEY AIN'T GOT
THE LATEST FACILITIES.
BUT IT'S NEIGHBORHOODS LIKE
THAT THAT BUILD CHARACTER.
WHY SOME OF THEM GRAND OLD
BUILDINGS BEEN STANDING THERE
OVER 150 YEARS,
AND TO TEAR 'EM DOWN
WOULD BE SHEER WASTE
AND DESTRUCTION.
AND I GO ON RECORD
AS BEING STRONGLY
AND LOGICALLY OPPOSED
TO PROPOSITION E.
- IN THAT CASE, DAD, I DON'T
KNOW IF I CAN SUPPORT YOU.
- YOU WHAT?
- YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME
TO SUPPORT YOU JUST
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FATHER.
- WHY NOT? I SUPPORT YOU
JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE MY SON.
- SHAME ON YOU, HERBERT.
INSTEAD OF BEING
ANGRY WITH DOBIE,
YOU OUGHT TO BE PROUD
THAT HE WANTS TO BE
AN INDEPENDENT VOTER.
- WELL, MAYBE
YOU'RE RIGHT, WINNIE.
SON, I'M SORRY I YAPPED AT YOU.
I KEEP FORGETTING YOU'RE NOT
LIKE THE GENERAL RUN OF VOTERS...
EMPTY-HEADED,
VACUUM-BRAINED, LOST IN A FOG.
- YOU RANG?
- HI, MAYNARD.
- LIKE, HI, MR. M.,
LIKE, HI, MR. G.,
LIKE, HI, DOBE G.,
LIKE, HI, MRS. G.
- HELLO, DEAR.
- NOW, THERE GOES
A TYPICAL VOTER.
NO INTEREST IN THE ISSUES.
ALL THEY WANT IS
NOISE AND FIREWORKS.
WATCH THIS.
MAYNARD, THEY'RE GONNA
TEAR DOWN THE NORTH SIDE.
- OH, WOE IS ME.
- THE OLD AND WONDERFUL
HISTORICAL NORTH SIDE.
- LIKE, ALAS AND ALACK.
- WHY, CERTAINLY.
THAT NEIGHBORHOOD ISN'T
JUST HOUSES AND BUILDINGS
AND STREETS.
HANDS OFF THE NORTH SIDE, I SAY.
- HANDS OFF THE
NORTH SIDE, I SAY.
- TRADITION, HISTORY, MEMORIES.
- HANDS OFF THE NORTH SIDE.
- RIGHT. AND THEY
WANNA TEAR IT DOWN.
ARE WE GONNA LET 'EM?
- HANDS OFF THE NORTH SIDE!
- RIGHT, HANDS
OFF THE NORTH SIDE!
- MR. G.!
- WHAT?
- WHERE'S THE NORTH SIDE?
- WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
IT'S THAT NEIGHBORHOOD
RIGHT UP THERE ON RIVER STREET.
- OH, YEAH, THE SLUMS.
- WAIT A MINUTE, MAYNARD,
THAT AIN'T THE SLUMS.
- CERTAINLY NOT. IT'S
NEIGHBORHOODS LIKE THAT
THAT BUILD CHARACTER,
PREPARE YOU FOR
THE BATTLE OF LIFE,
TOUGHEN YOU UP,
FORGE YOU INTO STEEL.
HANDS OFF TRADITION, I SAY!
- NO, DAD, BETTY JANE
SHOWED ME THAT IT'S IMPORTANT
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A
CANDIDATE STANDS FOR,
SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE
FIGURED OUT FOR MYSELF.
- HI, MR. GILLIS, WE'RE
FROM THE DAILY COURIER.
- HELLO.
- AH, DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMEN
OF THE PRESS, WELCOME.
- HOW ABOUT A COUPLE OF PICTURES
AND MAYBE A BRIEF
POLICY STATEMENT?
- HANDS OFF THE SLUMS!
- MAYNARD.
THEY BUILD CHARACTER
AND FORCE 'EM TO STEELY!
- MAYNARD, THAT IS
FORGE INTO STEEL AND...
I GOT A STATEMENT TO MAKE.
NOW, A FEW WORDS
UPON THE ISSUES.
MY OPPONENT, CHEEVER, IS
A LIBRARIAN, A DO-GOODER.
WHAT EXPERIENCE DOES HE HAVE
TO FACE THE COLD,
HARD FACTS OF LIFE?
NONE.
NOW, WHEN THE
VOTERS FIND THIS OUT...
I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA,
LET US DEBATE THE
ISSUES ON TELEVISION.
LET THE VOTERS DECIDE WHETHER
THEY WANT A NAMBY-PAMBY THINKER
OR A TWO-FISTED GO-GETTER.
AND IF CHEEVER IS HALF
THE MAN HERBERT T. GILLIS IS,
HE WON'T NEVER
REFUSE NO CHALLENGE.
- OKAY, MR. GILLIS, WE'LL
STRAIGHTEN OUT THE GRAMMAR
AND PRINT YOUR CHALLENGE
IN THE MORNING EDITION.
NOW HOW ABOUT A
LITTLE FAMILY PICTURE.
MRS. GILLIS, WANNA STAND OVER
HERE NEXT TO YOUR HUSBAND?
- I'M MULCAHEY, THE
CANDIDATE'S LOST BROTHER
AND ALSO HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER.
- I'M MAYNARD G. KREBS
AND I'M FROM THE SLUMS.
- WELL, WAIT A
MINUTE. WHO ARE YOU?
- DOBIE GILLIS, SIR.
- OH, THE CANDIDATE'S SON.
WELL, MOVE OVER RIGHT OVER
HERE, BOY, NEXT TO YOUR FATHER.
- NO, SIR, I DON'T
THINK I'D BETTER.
I MEAN, IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT
FOR ME TO POSE IN THE PICTURE.
- HOW COME?
- WELL, SIR,
I THINK MY FATHER'S
A WONDERFUL GUY
AND I LOVE HIM AND
RESPECT HIM, BUT...
- BUT WHAT?
- BUT WHAT, SON, WHAT?
- BUT I'VE GOT TO
CAMPAIGN FOR MR. CHEEVER.
- AND STAY OUT.
- THERE COMES A...
THERE COMES A TIME WHEN
A FELLA'S GOT TO STAND UP
FOR HIS PRINCIPLES.
WHEN DAD REFUSED TO EVEN
LISTEN TO THOSE PRINCIPLES
AND THREW ME OUT,
WELL, IT HURT MY PRIDE.
IT HURT MY SELF-RESPECT.
IT... [SIGHS]
WELL, IT HURT.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR HEARING OUR SIDE.
AND REMEMBER, VOTE FOR
GEORGE J. CHEEVER, FRIENDS.
HE'S FOR PROPOSITION E.
HE'S A MAN OF PRINCIPLE,
AND HE KNOWS THE ISSUES,
AND HE KNOWS THE FACTS.
- NOT SO LOUD, DEAR.
WE DON'T WANNA DISTURB THE
PEOPLE WHO LIVE AROUND HERE.
- DAD, WE'VE GOT TO
LET EVERYBODY KNOW
WHAT THIS CAMPAIGN IS ALL ABOUT.
WE'RE IN A ROUGH,
TOUGH ELECTION.
YOU CAN'T JUST... HI, DOBIE.
- HI, BETTY JANE.
- DADDY, THIS IS DOBIE GILLIS.
- HOW DO YOU DO, MR. CHEEVER.
IT'S AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.
- LIKEWISE, MY BOY.
I'VE HEARD VERY GOOD
THINGS ABOUT YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
YES, VERY GOOD
THINGS FROM BETTY JANE.
- OH, DADDY.
- I MUST HAVE SAID THE
WRONG THING AGAIN,
BUT THEN I USUALLY DO.
- NO, YOU DON'T, SIR,
AT LEAST NOT ABOUT THE
ISSUES IN THIS CAMPAIGN.
THAT'S WHY I'VE
COME TO VOLUNTEER
WHATEVER HELP I CAN GIVE.
I'M FOR PROPOSITION
E, AND I'M FOR YOU.
- WELL, THAT'S TERRIBLY
KIND OF YOU, DOBIE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR FATHER?
WHAT DOES HE THINK OF THIS?
- MY FATHER AND
I AREN'T TALKING.
I'VE JUST MOVED
OUT OF THE HOUSE,
UH, BY REQUEST.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO
TO HELP YOUR CAMPAIGN,
MR. CHEEVER? JUST NAME IT.
- DOBIE, I'M GRATEFUL
FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
BUT I WON'T LET
THE ELECTION COME
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER.
- WELL, DAD JUST
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.
- HAVE YOU TRIED TO
EXPLAIN THIS TO HIM?
- SURE.
- I MEAN, REALLY EXPLAIN?
- WELL...
- WELL, TRY IT, MY BOY.
ELECTIONS AND ISSUES
ARE IMPORTANT, CERTAINLY,
AND A YOUNG MAN'S ENTHUSIASM
IS EXCITING TO BEHOLD.
BUT NONE OF THESE THINGS
COMPARES EVEN SLIGHTLY
TO THE BOND BETWEEN
A FATHER AND A SON.
- DADDY'S RIGHT, DOBIE.
DON'T TURN YOUR
BACK ON YOUR FATHER
TILL YOU'VE HAD A CHANCE
TO DISCUSS THIS WITH HIM
CALMLY AND QUIETLY.
- I'M SURE HE'LL LISTEN
TO YOUR EXPLANATION
WITH AN OPEN MIND.
HE'S A FAIR MAN.
- SURE, I'LL LISTEN
TO YOUR EXPLANATION
WITH AN OPEN
MIND. I'M A FAIR MAN.
- THANKS, DAD, I WAS
HOPING YOU'D FEEL THAT WAY.
- SURE, SO START
TALKING, BENEDICT ARNOLD.
- HERBERT, YOU
SAID YOU'D BE FAIR.
- OKAY, OKAY. I'M
FAIR. EXPLAIN ALREADY.
- NOW, IN THE FIRST PLACE...
- WHY DID YOU DO IT, SON, WHY?
HAVE I BEEN A CRUEL FATHER?
HAVE I BEEN MEAN TO YOU?
- HERBERT, LET HIM EXPLAIN.
- WHO'S STOPPING
HIM? EXPLAIN ALREADY.
- YOU SEE, DAD...
- YOU'D THINK THAT I DIDN'T
DO EVERYTHING I COULD
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
- HERBERT, LET HIM EXPLAIN.
- EXPLAIN.
- DAD, I'VE MET MR. CHEEVER,
AND YOU'RE A HUNDRED TIMES
BETTER CANDIDATE THAN HE IS.
- OH?
- ABSOLUTELY.
HE'S DRAB AND DULL.
YOU'RE COLORFUL AND DASHING.
HE'S TIMID AND SHY. YOU'RE
DYNAMIC AND FORCEFUL.
- YOU SEE, WINNIE, HOW I
DON'T INTERRUPT THE BOY
WHEN HE'S TALKING SENSE?
- DO YOU SEE, HERBERT, WHAT
YOUR SON THINKS OF YOU?
NOW YOU FORGIVE HIM. YOU
GO AHEAD AND FORGIVE HIM.
- SURE, SON, I FORGIVE YOU.
- YEAH.
- AND WELCOME HOME.
- THANK YOU, DAD.
- YOU JUST FELT
SORRY FOR CHEEVER
BECAUSE HE'S A SHNOOK,
BECAUSE HE'S DULL AND DRAB,
AND I'M COLORFUL AND DASHING.
- RIGHT, DAD, THAT'S RIGHT.
- BECAUSE HE'S TIMID
AND I'M FORCEFUL.
- YES, DAD.
- AND BECAUSE HE'S SHY
AND I'M DYNAMIC.
- YES, DAD.
BUT THERE'S ONE
IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- HE'S RIGHT, AND YOU'RE WRONG.
- AND I MEAN STAY OUT.
- SO I MADE UP MY MIND TO
MOVE AWAY FROM HOME FOR GOOD
AND PLUNGE INTO THE
CAMPAIGN TO ELECT MR. CHEEVER.
I HAD TO PROVE,
ESPECIALLY TO MYSELF,
THAT I'VE GOT BACKBONE.
- YES, MY FELLOW CITIZENS,
THE ISSUE HERE IS
PROGRESS OR STAGNATION.
WILL OUR TOWN WHITHER AND DIE
STRANGLED BY CRUMBLING SLUMS?
OR WILL IT PROSPER AND
GROW WITH PROPOSITION E
AND GEORGE J. CHEEVER?
- JUST A MINUTE, LADDIE,
WHAT ABOUT LOYALTY?
CAN WE BELIEVE A KID WHO
DOUBLE-CROSSED HIS OWN FATHER?
- SIR, IF MY FATHER
WAS A CANDIDATE
FOR THE WORLD'S GREATEST
FATHER, I'D BE CAMPAIGNING FOR HIM.
HE'S A GREAT GUY,
AND I LOVE HIM.
BUT HE'S ALL WRONG
ON PROPOSITION E,
AND THAT'S WHY I'M FOR CHEEVER.
- HI, DAD.
- LIKE, HI MR. G., BEARDS
ARE THE MOST, HUH?
- MAYNARD!
- THE ELECTION CAMPAIGN
WENT ON HOT AND HEAVY
IN PARKS AND AUDITORIUMS
AND ON STREET CORNERS.
- THANK YOU, FELLOW CITIZENS
AND FANS OF GOOD GOVERNMENT.
AND I PROMISE YOU THAT I
SHALL CONDUCT THIS CAMPAIGN
UPON THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE LEVEL.
NO INSINUATIONS. NO INNUENDOS.
NO NAME-CALLING
LIKE MY SLEAZY, SLINKY-EYED,
TREACHEROUS OPPONENT
AND HIS CROOKED SUPPORTERS.
- ATTA-BOY!
[WHISTLES]
- BUT THE BIG GUNS WERE SAVED
FOR THE TELEVISION DEBATES,
AND THEY WERE A SMASH.
IN AT LEAST ONE WAY,
THEY EVEN TOPPED THE
FAMOUS KENNEDY-NIXON CONTEST.
THEY WERE LOUDER.
- PLEASE, THE FEDERAL LAW
SPECIFICALLY FORBIDS THE USE
OF SUCH LANGUAGE ON THE AIR.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND, MR. GILLIS?
ANY FURTHER OUTBURSTS
AND WE MAY BE
CENSORED OFF THE AIR.
- NOW, MR. CHEEVER,
PLEASE CONTINUE.
- WELL, THANK YOU.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LET ME GET RIGHT TO
THE HEART OF THE ISSUE
BY STATING BLUNTLY
AND FRANKLY THAT...
I FORGOT MY GLASSES.
I DON'T SEE VERY WELL
WITHOUT MY GLASSES.
- LET'S BE HONEST.
MR. CHEEVER WAS NOT THE
BEST SPEAKER IN THE WORLD.
LET'S BE EVEN MORE
HONEST. HE WAS THE WORST.
I MEAN, THAT AUDIENCE
IN THE TELEVISION STUDIO
KEPT LOOKING AT THE EXITS
LIKE THEY WERE WAITING
FOR SOMEBODY TO HOLLER
"WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!"
BUT FINALLY HE FINISHED,
AND THEN IT WAS DAD'S TURN.
BOY, WHAT A DIFFERENCE.
MR. CHEEVER'S SPEECH
MEANT VERY LITTLE.
BUT DAD'S SPEECH,
ON THE OTHER HAND,
MEANT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
-NEIGHBORS, HAVE WE
LOST THE PIONEER SPIRIT?
DO WE NEED FACTS AND FIGURES
TO TELL US WHAT IS RIGHT?
I SAY NO.
MR. CHEEVER WANTS TO DO
AWAY WITH THE NORTH SIDE
BECAUSE IT'S GETTING OLD.
MAYBE OUR WIVES
ARE GETTING OLD TOO.
BUT DO WE WANNA
DO AWAY WITH THEM?
NO. BECAUSE WE STILL LOVE THEM,
AND THEY BRING
BACK FOND MEMORIES.
AND SO I SHALL
FIGHT TO THE DEATH
TO PRESERVE MY RIGHT NOT
TO THROW AWAY MY OLD WIFE
OR THE OLD NORTH SIDE.
- DID YOU HEAR THAT
DOUBLE TALK AND GIBBERISH?
YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THE
AUDIENCE REACTED TO IT.
- YOU WERE WONDERFUL...
- BRILLIANT!
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
- THANK YOU, AND
WHEN I AM ELECTED
AND YOU WANNA SEE ME,
JUST COME DOWN TO CITY HALL.
MY OFFICE DOOR
WILL ALWAYS BE OPEN.
- GOOD NIGHT, MR. COMMISSIONER.
- GOOD NIGHT, MULCAHEY.
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
- HEY, DOBE! DOBE!
YOU'D HAVE BEEN PROUD
OF YOUR OLD MAN TONIGHT.
THEY APPLAUDED
AND WHISTLED AND...
OH, I KEEP FORGETTING
HE AIN'T HERE,
THE TREACHEROUS TRAITOR.
- IT SEEMS SO EMPTY AND
QUIET HERE WITHOUT HIM.
HERBERT, PLEASE
GO AND FIND OUR BOY
AND BRING HIM HOME.
WHAT SHALL IT AVAIL OF
YOU IF YOU WIN THE ELECTION
AND LOSETH YOUR OWN SON?
- YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'D LIKE
TO DO IT, WINNIE, I JUST CAN'T.
- HERBERT, THERE ISN'T
ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN'T
IF IT WILL HOLD OUR
FAMILY TOGETHER.
PLEASE GO AND FIND HIM.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, WINNIE,
NO SACRIFICE IS TOO
GREAT FOR OUR BOY.
I'LL START FIRST
THING IN THE MORNING.
- THANK YOU, DEAR. THANK YOU.
YOU MAY HAVE TO SEARCH
ALL OVER TOWN TO LOCATE HIM.
- I'LL DO IT.
- YOU MAY HAVE TO
SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE.
- I'LL DO IT.
- YOU MAY HAVE TO
TALK TO MAYNARD.
- I'LL DO IT.
THAT OUGHT TO PROVE TO
YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THE BOY.
- VOTE FOR CHEEVER,
FOLKS, VOTE FOR CHEEVER.
ON ELECTION DAY, GET OUT THERE
AND EXERCISE YOUR FRANCHISE
FOR GOOD GOVERNMENT.
- LIKE, RIGHT, DON'T GET
CAUGHT RUNNING AROUND
WITH NO FLABBY FRANCHISES.
VOTE FOR CHEEVER,
LIKE, HE'S THE MOST.
LIKE, HE'S THE
WILDEST. LIKE, BYE!
- MAYNARD!
- NO, NO, NEGATIVE
CAPITAL N-O-E.
NO, I AIN'T TELLIN'.
- TELLIN' WHAT?
- WHERE MY GOOD BUDDY DOBIE IS.
I, LIKE, OWE THEM IN
BLOOD I WOULDN'T FINK,
AND I AIN'T GONNA RAT
ON MY TRUE PAL DOBIE.
I MEAN, HE CAN,
LIKE, RELY ON ME.
- MAYNARD, PLEASE,
WHERE IS DOBIE?
- DOBIE WHO?
- COME ON, MAYNARD.
- DESCRIBE HIM.
- MAYNARD, THIS IS SERIOUS.
I GOTTA SEE MY BOY, DOBIE.
- DOBIE WHO?
- MISS, YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS.
COME ON, PLEASE,
TELL ME WHERE IS DOBIE?
- DOBIE WHO?
- ALL RIGHT.
SO AFTER THE WAY I TREATED HIM
I DON'T DESERVE TO
EVER SEE HIM AGAIN
OR TALK TO HIM AGAIN.
I WAS MEAN AND
RUDE AND ROTTEN...
- NO, NO, NO, YOU WERE JUST
A LITTLE QUICK-TEMPERED.
- HE WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
- MAYNARD... I AGREE WITH YOU.
BUT, MISS, YOU GOTTA
TAKE ME TO DOBIE.
I GOTTA SEE HIM. I
GOTTA MAKE UP WITH HIM.
I JUST GOTTA.
COME ON, NOW. WHERE'S DOBIE?
- DOBIE WHO?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
- OH, COMING, COMING.
"BUT THE VOTERS OF OUR
CITY MUST SEE FOR THEMSELVES
"HOW A RUNDOWN NEIGHBORHOOD
DESTROYS THE MORALE OF
EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN IT."
OH. HI, DAD.
- HELLO, BOY.
- UH, HOW'S MOM?
- OH, SHE'S FINE.
MISSES YOU, OF COURSE.
- I MISS HER TOO.
MAYNARD, YOU PROMISED YOU
WOULDN'T TELL WHERE I WAS.
- I COULDN'T HELP IT, DOBE. YOU
EVER SEE A GROWN MAN CRY?
IT'S SPOOKY.
- DON'T BLAME MAYNARD, DOBIE.
YOU AND YOUR FATHER CAN'T GO ON
ACTING LIKE STRANGERS
TO EACH OTHER.
IT'S TERRIBLE FOR BOTH OF YOU.
- THAT'S GOOD THINKING, GIRLIE,
ESPECIALLY FOR A CHEEVER.
DOBE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN A DUMP LIKE THIS?
- OH, THIS ISN'T A DUMP, DAD.
IT'S ONE OF THE GLORIOUS
AND HISTORICAL LANDMARKS
OF THE NORTH SIDE.
THE WHOLE PLACE
REEKS OF TRADITION.
- SO THAT'S WHAT IT IS, HUH?
EVERYTHING'S SO
CHANGED AROUND HERE.
IT'S ONLY A SHORT 35 YEARS.
HOW COULD A NEIGHBORHOOD
CHANGE SO MUCH IN SUCH A SHORT TIME?
MAYBE IT HASN'T CHANGED
AND EVERYTHING ELSE HAS,
LIKE ME.
[CHILDREN PLAYING]
PEOPLE STILL LIVE
AROUND HERE TOO.
AND NOT JUST FOR A COUPLE
OF DAYS LIKE YOU, SON,
BUT PERMANENTLY LIVE HERE
AND BRING UP THEIR KIDS HERE.
THEY GOTTA PLAY OUT
IN THOSE DIRTY STREETS
AND BEAT-UP LOTS.
IT'S A CRYING SHAME.
ANYBODY THAT WOULD
BRING HIS KIDS UP
IN A NEIGHBORHOOD LIKE THIS
OUGHT TO BE RUN OUT OF TOWN.
- THERE'S ANOTHER WAY, DAD.
GIVE THEM A BETTER PLACE
TO BRING UP THEIR KIDS.
- WHAT CAN I SAY, BOY?
I JUST DIDN'T GIVE
TWO SECONDS THOUGHT
TO THINGS I SHOULD'VE
KNOWN ALL ALONG.
I'M SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED
AND MULEHEADED.
- NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- SURE HE IS.
- THIS WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD
HAS TO BE TORN DOWN
AND REBUILT AGAIN
SO THE PEOPLE
CAN LIVE HERE LIKE...
LIKE PEOPLE.
THE OLD NORTH SIDE JUST
AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.
YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK
OF IT, IT PROBABLY NEVER WAS.
- OH, DAD, I KNEW
YOU'D UNDERSTAND
ONCE YOU FACED UP TO THE FACTS.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH, MR. GILLIS.
- MR. G., YOU'RE, LIKE,
A REAL HUMAN BEING,
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
LET'S NOT GET ALL FLUSTERED
JUST BECAUSE I CAUGHT ON, HUH?
AFTER ALL, YOU KNOW,
I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE
THE ROOF FALL IN ON ME.
- MAYBE IT'LL HELP.
- MY FATHER'S A MAN WITH
A STRONG, STUBBORN MIND.
BUT NEVER LET IT BE SAID THAT
HIS MIND CAN'T BE CHANGED.
IT'S A CINCH.
ALL IT TAKES IS FOR THE
ROOF TO FALL IN ON HIM.
AND THAT'S WHY
WHEN HERBERT T. GILLIS
SHOWED UP FOR THE
SECOND TELEVISION DEBATE,
HE WAS A DIFFERENT
HERBERT T. GILLIS.
- LAME BRAINS, IF WE
ALLOW POVERTY, DISEASE
AND CRIME TO
CONTINUE RUNNING WILD
JUST BECAUSE WE WANNA
HOLD ON TO SOMETHING
THAT AIN'T THERE ANYMORE
AND PROBABLY NEVER WAS.
SO I SAY LET'S ALL SAY
GOODBYE TO THE OLD NORTH SIDE.
THAT'S YESTERDAY.
AND LET'S GET OUT AND
FIGHT FOR PROPOSITION E.
THAT'S TOMORROW.
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I COULD NEVER HAVE PRESENTED
SUCH A STIRRING ARGUMENT
FOR PROPOSITION E AS
MR. GILLIS HAS JUST DONE.
SO I'M WITHDRAWING
FROM THE CAMPAIGN
TO ALLOW HIM TO BE
ELECTED UNANIMOUSLY.
- CHEEVER, CHEEVER!
OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
DON'T BE A DIRTY TURNCOAT
LIKE ME! I WITHDRAW!
- GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE, NO ABUSIVE LANGUAGE.
- I WITHDRAW!
- CHEEVER,
YOU ARE AN IMPRACTICAL EGGHEAD.
WHY DON'T YOU USE
THAT EGGHEAD OF YOURS
FOR SOMETHING BESIDES
KEEPING YOUR EARS
FROM FLAPPING TOGETHER
LIKE A COUPLE OF CYMBALS?
- MR. GILLIS, FOR SHAME. I
WARNED YOU ABOUT THE CENSOR.
AT ANY RATE, THE
LAWS OF OUR CITY
DO NOT ALLOW EITHER CANDIDATE
TO WITHDRAW AT THIS TIME,
SO THE DECISION MUST
BE LEFT TO THE VOTERS.
- VOTERS, VOTE FOR CHEEVER!
- NO, VOTE FOR GILLIS!
- NO, VOTE FOR CHEEVER!
I AM TELLING YOU...
- HE'S THE ONE...
- THE CAMPAIGN TO ELECT A NEW
PLANNING COMMISSIONER HAD BEGUN,
AND WHAT A CAMPAIGN.
IT WAS UNUSUAL AND DIFFERENT
AND WELL, WHAT IT
WAS WAS RIDICULOUS.
I MEAN, DAD CAMPAIGNED
FOR MR. CHEEVER,
AND MR. CHEEVER
CAMPAIGNED FOR DAD,
AND MAYNARD AND BETTY JANE
AND I CAMPAIGNED FOR EVERYBODY.
IT'S CAMPAIGNS LIKE THIS
THAT MAKE YOU WONDER
IF PAUL REVERE SHOULDN'T
HAVE FALLEN OFF HIS HORSE.
- YES, HERE IT IS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I'VE JUST BEEN HANDED
THE FINAL TALLY:
CHEEVER 1,682. GILLIS, 1,683.
GILLIS WINS BY ONE VOTE.
- OH, THANK YOU,
FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS
AND FANS OF GOOD GOVERNMENT.
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN BY
AN OVERWHELMING MAJORITY.
- ONE VOTE? OVERWHELMING?
- NEVER MIND, MAYNARD.
AND ON THIS GRAND
AND GLORIOUS OCCASION
I HAVE PREPARED A FEW
WORDS OF APPRECIATION.
FROM THE ROCKBOUND
COASTS OF MAINE
TO THE SUNNY SHORES
OF CALIFORNIA...
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
♪ WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY ♪
[LAUGHTER, CHATTER]
- HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?
- I HAVEN'T SOLD THIS
MANY PAPERS IN MONTHS.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS.
FORESTAND THE GRAMMIS STAKES.
STAND BACK, FOLKS, WE
GOTTA GRIMPER THE TREE RING.
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
- JUST PASSED
PROPOSITION E, YOU KNOW?
- WE KNOW, SO?
- SO WE'RE TEARING
ALL THIS DOWN.
WE'RE GONNA PUT UP
SOME NEW HOUSES, SCHOOLS
A SHOPPIN' CENTER.
TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
THIS STORE'S PART
OF THE 10 BLOCKS
THAT GOTTA COME DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, LIONEL, REV
UP THE FRAMMIS SAW.
- HEY, HOLD IT! YOU CAN'T...
- [BOTH SHOUTING]