The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 3, Episode 13 - Blue-Tail Fly - full transcript
Dobie campaigns for student council against Chatsworth, capitalizing on the folksinging fad that has swept the campus.
♪ AND PASS THE BOTTLE
WHEN HE GOT DRY ♪
♪ AND BRUSH AWAY
THE BLUE-TAIL FLY ♪
♪ JIMMY CRACK CORN
AND I DON'T CARE ♪
♪ JIMMY CRACK CORN
AND I DON'T CARE ♪
♪ JIMMY CRACK CORN
AND I DON'T CARE ♪
♪ THE MASTER'S GONE AWAY ♪
♪ ONE DAY HE RODE
AROUND THE FARM ♪
- PROCEED, MS. FORBES.
- AND SO WE SEE THAT
IN THE NEW NATIONS
ALL OVER THE WORLD,
THERE IS A DEEP AND
GROWING INTEREST
IN THE POLITICAL AFFAIRS
AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE
WHILE WE ARE CONTENT TO
REMAIN ASLEEP, APATHETIC,
DISINTERESTED AND
EVEN LACKADAISICAL.
- YOU'LL FORGIVE
THE INTERRUPTION,
MY YOUNG SCHOLARS,
AND I USE THE TERM WITH MY
USUAL DEVIL-MAY-CARE ABANDON.
BUT DESPITE APPEARANCES,
TO THE CONTRARY,
THIS IS STILL A CLASS
IN POLITICAL SCIENCE,
NOT A JAM SESSION
FEATURING THE KINGSTON TRIO.
- LIKE, WHERE? LIKE, WHERE?
LIKE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE?
- MR. KREBS.
- OOH, OOH, MY
PEOPLE HAVE LANDED!
SOME CAT SAID SO. I HEARD HIM.
- I'M THE CAT WHO
MENTIONED THEM, MR. KREBS.
- OH, LIKE, THANK YOU, YOUR
CAP AND GOWN-SHIP, SIR.
I MEAN, SIR, YOU'RE LIKE
A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- MR. KREBS.
- AND THAT AIN'T EASY
CONSIDERING YOU'RE A TEACHER.
[JAZZ THEME]
- PEOPLE SAY THAT WE MEMBERS
OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION
ARE ALERT,
LEVEL-HEADED AND SOLID.
THERE'S ONLY ONE TROUBLE.
THE PEOPLE WHO SAY IT
ARE WE MEMBERS OF THE
YOUNGER GENERATION.
I'M AFRAID OUR
TEACHERS AND PARENTS
HAVE A SOMEWHAT
DIFFERENT OPINION.
TO THEM, WE'RE OFTEN
LOST AND BEWILDERED
WHILE THEY KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT THEY'RE DOING
AND WHERE THEY ARE.
- I HAVEN'T THE VAGUEST
IDEA WHERE WE ARE.
- MS. FORBES HAD JUST
FINISHED HER REPORT.
- OH, YES.
NOW, IT ALL COMES
BACK TO ME, I'M AFRAID.
ALL RIGHT, WAS ANYONE IN THIS
CLASS PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION
TO TELL ME WHAT SHE
WAS TALKING ABOUT?
- UH, CERTAINLY, MR. POMFRITT.
THE DELIGHTFUL MS.
FORBES WAS EXPLAINING
HOW COLLEGE KIDS
IN OTHER COUNTRIES
TAKE AN INTEREST IN
POLITICS AND CURRENT EVENTS
AND ALL LIKE THAT.
- AMAZING, MS. FORBES.
SOMEBODY OUT
THERE WAS LISTENING.
- BUT, OF COURSE, WHEN
URSULA FORBES SPEAKS,
DOBIE GILLIS LISTENS.
MAY I COMMENT, MS. FORBES,
THAT IT WAS THE MOST
FASCINATING REPORT...
- WHY, THANK YOU.
- AND SO BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED.
- HOW SWEET OF YOU TO SAY SO.
- HOW WONDERFUL
OF YOU TO BE YOU.
- HOW CHARMING YOU ARE.
- AND HOW LOVELY YOU ARE.
- HOW RIDICULOUS TO CALL
THIS A CLASS, EH, MR. GILLIS?
- YES, SIR.
- NOW, LISTEN, ALL OF YOU,
WE ARE HERE TO DISCUSS
IMPORTANT THOUGHTS
AND PRINCIPLES,
NOT TO LISTEN TO THE WAILING
OF SOME OFF-KEY BALLAD SINGERS.
THE LOCKER ROOMS ARE
FILLED WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC.
AND YOU CAN'T THROW
A ROCK AROUND HERE
WITHOUT HITTING A GUITAR PLAYER.
THAT'S THE BEST
IDEA I'VE HAD ALL DAY.
- MR. POMFRITT, NO OFFENSE,
BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH
FOLKS SINGING FOLK SONGS?
- THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH IT, MR. GILLIS,
PROVIDED THE RIGHT FOLKS
ARE DOING THE SINGING.
NOW, THESE TUNES WERE CREATED
BY HONEST WORKING PEOPLE
WHO SANG THEM TO MAKE
THEIR WORK GO EASIER.
THERE'S A VAST
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT
AND SOME CREW CUT BARITONE
WEARING A PAIR OF
CUSTOM-MADE BLUE JEANS
AND A HAND-TAILORED NECKERCHIEF
SINGING "I'VE BEEN
WORKING ON THE RAILROAD."
THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT IT,
AND YOU CAN CALL
ME AN OLD FOGEY.
- YOU ARE AN OLD FOGEY.
- MAYNARD.
- THAT'S THE WAY
HE FEELS ABOUT IT.
- WHY WASTE YOUR TIME
ON POINTLESS DIVERSIONS
LIKE FOLK SINGING
WHEN YOU COULD BE OUT
DOING IMPORTANT THINGS?
- LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, MR. P.?
- LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,
TAKING AN INTEREST
IN POLITICAL AFFAIRS, MR. K.,
THE WAY STUDENTS
DO IN OTHER COUNTRIES.
- YOU MEAN MARCH IN
DEMONSTRATIONS AND HAVE RIOTS?
- AND GROW BEARDS
LIKE THEM CATS IN CUBA?
- I WOULDN'T DREAM OF
SUGGESTING THAT YOU GROW A BEARD,
MR. KREBS.
WHY, DO YOU PEOPLE
REALIZE THAT NEXT WEEK
WE ARE HAVING A CAMPUS
ELECTION TO SELECT ONE OF YOU
FOR THE STUDENT COUNCIL
AND SO FAR NOBODY'S EVEN
BOTHERED TO GET NOMINATED?
- BUT THAT'S SHOCKING!
- UH, URSULA, YOU APPROVE
OF FELLAS WHO RUN FOR OFFICE?
- APPROVE OF THEM?
WHY, I THINK THAT ENTERING
POLITICS IS THE FINEST, NOBLEST,
MOST WONDERFUL
THING A BOY CAN DO.
GEE, WHEN I SEE A FELLOW WHO
FEELS AS I DO ABOUT SUCH THINGS,
I WANT TO THROW
MY ARMS AROUND HIM
AND HUG HIM AND KISS HIM
AND KISS HIM AND HUG HIM.
- HMM.
MR. POMFRITT, I'VE DECIDED TO
DECLARE MYSELF A CANDIDATE...
- TO DECLARE YOURSELF A
CANDIDATE FOR STUDENT COUNCIL.
- YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY?
- AMERICAN KNOW-HOW, MR. GILLIS.
- YOU ARE LOOKING
AT THE BRIGHT-EYED
AND BUSHY-TAILED CANDIDATE
FOR THE POSITION OF MEMBER
OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL.
WHY AM I ALL OF A SUDDEN
SO INTERESTED IN POLITICS?
IT'S SIMPLE.
AS A RESPONSIBLE
CITIZEN OF THE FUTURE,
I CONSIDER RUNNING FOR
OFFICE TO BE MY RIGHT, MY DUTY,
MY SACRED PRIVILEGE.
AND NAME ME A BETTER WAY
TO GET A GIRL WHO'S HOT
ON THIS PUBLIC SERVICE KICK.
BUT NOW THAT I'M
INVOLVED, I'M DISCOVERING
THAT THE GREAT GAME OF
POLITICS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER.
- DOBIE, YOU EXPECT TO BE
ELECTED TO STUDENT COUNCIL?
BOY, THAT IS A LAUGH.
- COME ON, NOW.
KNOCK IT OFF, ZELDA.
WHY COULDN'T I GET ELECTED?
ALL IT TAKES IS BRAINS
AND PERSONALITY AND TACT
AND A WILLINGNESS TO WORK HARD,
AND I JUST ANSWERED
MY OWN QUESTION.
- NOW, DON'T GIVE UP
THE SHIP SO FAST, POOPSIE.
I HAVE RUN THIS QUESTION
THROUGH MY GIANT BRAIN,
AND I'VE DEVISED A PLAN
THAT COULD GET YOU ELECTED.
- OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
ZELDA, YOU'RE A MAGNIFICENT
HUMAN BEING, A GEM, A...
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
- WHAT CATCH?
I'M SIMPLY GONNA RUN YOUR
ENTIRE CAMPAIGN FOR YOU, THAT'S ALL.
- I SEE. AND THAT MEANS
RUNNING ME, TOO, DOESN'T IT?
- YOU BET YOUR BOOTS, BUSTER.
- MM-HMM.
THANKS A LUMP,
ZELDA, BUT NO THANKS.
I DECLINE. NO, NEGATIVE, UH-UH.
- DON'T ARGUE,
LOVER. I'M TAKING OVER.
- ZELDA.
- YOU ARE LOOKING AT
ALL EIGHT KENNEDY WOMEN
ROLLED UP INTO ONE CUTE AS A
BUTTON PACKAGE OF DYNAMITE.
- ZELDA.
- NOW, I AM GOING TO BE
YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER
BECAUSE IF YOU'VE ALREADY GOT
ONE, IT'S BOUND TO BE MAYNARD,
AND HE COULDN'T GET
YOU ELECTED DOG CATCHER.
- HEY, DOBE, YOU RUNNING
FOR DOG CATCHER?
- ZELDA, MAYNARD'S NOT MY
CAMPAIGN MANAGER. MY CAMPAIGN...
- AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING?
- YES, YES.
MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER
IS URSULA FORBES,
AND SHE'S GONNA GET ME ELECTED
BECAUSE SHE'S
DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH ME.
- IN LOVE WITH
YOU? OH, COME NOW.
- OH, COME NOW.
- MAYNARD, YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE.
- DOBIE, MARK MY WORDS.
INSIDE OF 24 HOURS,
YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME
TO TAKE OVER YOUR CAMPAIGN.
- OH, YEAH?
- OH, YEAH, AND
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
URSULA FORBES IS THE
PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE CLASS
WITH A GORGEOUS FACE AND
A STUNNING FIGURE, RIGHT?
- RIGHT. SO?
- SO WITH ALL THAT,
WHAT DOES SHE NEED WITH
A SCHNOOK LIKE YOU?
NO OFFENSE. SEE
YOU AROUND, BUSTER.
- WELL, YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE CINCH
TO BE ELECTED, DOBIE DUMPLIN'.
YOU'RE CHARMING AND
LOVEABLE AND HONEST,
AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT
YOU'RE THE ONLY CANDIDATE.
- WELL, THAT DOES HELP.
- WRONG, GILLIS BABY, WRONG!
I, CHATSWORTH OSBORNE
JR., HAVE DECIDED
TO THROW MY
CHAPEAU INTO THE RING
AND RUN AGAINST YOU, DOBIE-DOO.
- CHATSWORTH, I DON'T GET THIS.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD
A BLUE-BLOODED,
ARISTOCRATIC, RICH
MILLIONAIRE LIKE YOU
WANT TO RUN FOR AN UNIMPORTANT
LITTLE STUDENT BODY OFFICE?
- I DOUBT THAT YOUR BREED
WOULD UNDERSTAND, GILLIS BABY.
BUT I'M A CANDIDATE
BECAUSE OF WHAT IS CALLED
NOBLESSE OBLIGE.
- WATCH THAT KIND OF TALK,
CHATS, THERE'S A LADY PRESENT.
- NOBLESSE OBLIGE,
MY UNILINGUAL BUMPKIN,
MEANS SIMPLY THAT NOBLE
RANK REQUIRES NOBLE CONDUCT.
THAT'S FRENCH.
- FLAKE OFF, CHATSY.
THAT'S ENGLISH.
- OH, HUSH UP, YOU
LOWBORN PERSON.
YOU ARE A PERFECT EXAMPLE
OF WHY WE MEMBERS
OF THE UPPER CLASS
MUST ENTER THE GRIMY
ARENA OF POLITICS,
TO KEEP POWER OUT OF
THE HANDS OF THE HOI POLLOI.
- DON'T LOOK AT ME, CHATSWORTH.
I DON'T DIG THAT HAWAIIAN FOOD.
- CHATSWORTH, I'LL ADMIT
YOU'RE A SUPERIOR FELLOW
AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
GONNA LOSE THE ELECTION.
PEOPLE DON'T VOTE
FOR SUPERIOR PEOPLE.
THEY VOTE FOR PEOPLE
LIKE THEMSELVES:
PLAIN, ORDINARY, DOWN-TO-EARTH.
IN SHORT, ME.
- YOUR POINT IS WELL TAKEN,
DOBIE-DOO, WELL TAKEN.
AND IF IT WERE JUST SUPERIOR
ME RUNNING FOR OFFICE,
I WOULD PROBABLY
LOSE TO INFERIOR YOU,
BUT IT'S NOT JUST SUPERIOR ME.
- SOMEBODY ELSE
IS RUNNING WITH YOU.
- TROUBADOURS.
♪ HMM ♪
- HERE, DOBIE-DOO,
IS MY SECRET WEAPON.
GATHER 'ROUND, GOOD
PEOPLE, GATHER 'ROUND.
HI, WELCOME, MUSIC LOVERS.
I AM CHATSWORTH OSBORNE JR.,
CANDIDATE FOR THE
STUDENT COUNCIL.
AND FOR MY FIRST NUMBER,
I SHALL SING "JUST AN ECHO."
AND ONE AND A TWO...
♪ JUST AN ECHO, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
♪ IN THE VALLEY, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
♪ BUT IT BRINGS BACK
SWEET MEMORIES OF ♪
♪ YOU-OOH-OOH ♪
- THANK YOU. THANK
YOU, BELOVED VOTERS.
REMEMBER, VOTE FOR
CHATSWORTH OSBORNE JR.
FOR STUDENT COUNCIL,
A MAN WHO SINGS THE
SONGS OF THE PEOPLE,
UNDERSTANDS THE PEOPLE.
- THE PEOPLE.
♪ HMM ♪
- CHATSWORTH, I BET YOU
HAVEN'T GOT THE NERVE
TO TELL THE VOTERS WHAT
PLATFORM YOU'RE RUNNING ON.
- WELL, CANDIDATE GILLIS,
WHAT PLATFORM ARE YOU
RUNNING ON, PRAY TELL?
- PRAY TELL.
♪ HMM ♪
- A REAL PLATFORM.
FELLOW STUDENTS, THE ISSUES
FACING THE STUDENT BODY
OF THIS SCHOOL ARE
MANY AND VARIED.
FIRST OF ALL, WHAT'S
TO BE DONE ABOUT
THE DEPLORABLE TRASH
COLLECTION SYSTEM ON OUR CAMPUS?
- HEY, CHATSWORTH,
GIVE US ANOTHER SONG!
- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ISSUES?
- WHAT ABOUT MORE MUSIC?
- WHEN THE PEOPLE
COMMAND, I OBEY.
- HE OBEYS.
♪ HMM ♪
- HEY, LOOK, I'M NOT FINISHED.
- YES, YOU ARE.
- YES, YOU ARE.
♪ HMM ♪
- NOW, CUT THAT OUT!
♪ JUST AN ECHO, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
♪ IN THE VALLEY, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
- URSULA, MY
ANGEL, NOT YOU, TOO.
- SQUARE.
♪ SWEET MEMORIES OF ♪
♪ YOU-OOH-OOH ♪
- YUP, THIS IS IT.
ENDSVILLE, FINIS, THE END
OF THE BRIEF BUT MISERABLE
POLITICAL CAREER
OF DOBIE GILLIS.
I MEAN, I DON'T MIND GETTING
WALLOPED IN A FAIR SCRAP,
BUT HOW CAN I FIGHT
CHATSWORTH'S LOW, MEAN,
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED TRICKS?
- BY COOKING UP
LOW, MEAN, SNEAKY,
UNDERHANDED TRICKS OF YOUR OWN.
- THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF A FELLOW.
- TRUE, BUT I'M
THAT KIND OF A GIRL.
- SHE'S RIGHT, DOBE. SHE'S
PRETTY LOW, MEAN AND SNEAKY.
- TRUE.
- LIKE, THE LOWEST.
LIKE, THE MEANEST,
LIKE, THE SNEAKIEST.
- MAYNARD, MAYNARD,
YOU'RE MAKING...
- ZELDA, ZELDA, I APPRECIATE
YOUR WILLINGNESS TO HELP
IN MY HOUR OF NEED, BUT
I REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING
THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY
OPEN AND ABOVEBOARD.
AND WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND?
- NOW, YOU'RE TALKING.
COME HERE, DOBE.
- HEY, ZELDA.
- AND VOILA.
- ZELDA, WHAT IS THIS?
- CAN'T YOU SEE? IT'S A VOILA.
- DOBIE, I AM GOING TO TEACH
YOU TO SING 10 TIMES BETTER
THAN OLD CHATSWORTH
AND THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA
SKUNK HIM IN THE ELECTION.
- ME?
- HIM?
- NOW, CAN THE SMALL TALK,
MAN. WE GOT WORK TO DO.
- ZELDA, IF THIS IS A TRICK TO
WIN ME AWAY FROM URSULA,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
QUIT RIGHT NOW.
URSULA AND I WILL LOVE
EACH OTHER NIGHT AND DAY,
HEART AND SOUL
TILL THE END OF TIME.
- SURE, SURE. NOW, DOBIE...
- MM-HMM?
- IT'S IMPORTANT THAT
YOU'RE PREPARED TO PROJECT
A PROPER IMAGE OF
A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
- YEAH.
- NOW, COME ON. STAND UP.
NOW, LOOK VIRILE. BRUSH
YOUR HAIR IN YOUR EYES.
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
- IF YOU DON'T, CHATSWORTH
WILL BLISTER YOU.
- BRUSH, BRUSH.
- I'M BRUSHING, I'M BRUSHING.
- UH-HUH.
- UH-UH.
- NEVER MIND, MAYNARD.
- NOW, IT'S ESSENTIAL
THAT YOU HAVE SEX APPEAL.
- MM-HMM.
- FLEX YOUR MUSCLES.
- YEAH.
- NOW, GIVE ME A TROUBLED,
WORLD-WEARY LOOK.
- OH, COME NOW.
- HOLD ON, MAYNARD.
NOW, DOLL FACE, THERE'S
A CERTAIN WAY OF SPEAKING
THAT'S VITAL TO THE SUCCESS
OF ANY POLITICAL CANDIDATE.
- MM-HMM.
- LOW AND BREATHY.
NOW, LET ME HEAR YOU SAY,
"HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH."
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH.
- NO, NO, NO. LOWER AND
SEXIER AND MORE HAH.
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH.
- OH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.
NOW, DREAMBOAT, LET'S
PUT ALL THE PARTS TOGETHER.
LOW, BREATHY VOICE...
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH.
- FLEXED MUSCLES...
- MM-HMM.
- TROUBLED, WORLD-WEARY
LOOK AND PLENTY OF SEX APPEAL.
- YEAH.
- LOVE ME TENDER.
♪ LOVE ME TEN... ♪
- GEE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
LOOK, ZELDA, LOOK.
YOU AND I ARE NOT DESTINED TO GO
STROLLING DOWN LIFE'S
HIGHWAY HAND IN HAND,
SO I HOPE YOU'RE DOING THIS
SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU'RE CONVINCED
I'M THE RIGHT
CANDIDATE FOR THE JOB.
- OF COURSE, POOPSIE.
LOW, BREATHY VOICE.
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HI.
AND YOU WANT TO
SEE THE BEST MAN WIN.
- OF COURSE, PUMPKIN.
FLEX YOUR MUSCLES.
- HMM. YOU'RE LYING, AREN'T YOU?
- OF COURSE, SNOOKUMS.
NOW PAY ATTENTION.
- YEAH.
♪ LOVE ME ♪
♪ LOVE ME TENDER ♪
♪ LOVE BUG, I LOVE
YOU SO A-HA-HA ♪
♪ A-HA-HA ♪
♪ LOVE BUG, I LOVE
YOU SO A-HA-HA ♪
♪ HO-HO-HO ♪
♪ LOVE BUG, I LOVE YOU SO ♪
- YAY.
- THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS.
NOW, I COULD DISCUSS
AND BRILLIANTLY, OF COURSE,
THE ISSUES IN
TOMORROW'S ELECTION
AS MY LATE UNLAMENTED
OPPONENT SOUGHT TO DO,
BUT WHY INTERRUPT OUR FUN
AND GAMES FOR TRIVIALITIES?
- TRIVIALITIES.
♪ HMM ♪
- SO SINCE THE WINNER IS
A FOREGONE CONCLUSION,
LET THE MERRYMAKING
CONTINUE UNDIMINISHED.
- HOLD IT, HOLD IT, MEMBERS
OF THE ELECTORATE.
- YEAH, HOLD IT, YOU
ELECTORATE CATS.
- NOW DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE GONNA VOTE
FOR CHATSWORTH OSBORNE JR.
WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO
HEAR WHAT HIS OPPONENT HAS TO SAY.
- YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT WE'RE SAYING!
- DID YOU HEAR, MY
FAIR CAMPAIGNER?
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.
THEY WANT NO
POMPOUS PHRASEMAKER,
RATHER, SOMEONE THEY
UNDERSTAND, SOMEONE THEY DIG,
SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS
THEIR OWN LANGUAGE.
- LANGUAGE.
♪ HMM ♪
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY.
MIND IF I DROP IN AND, UH, SING
SOME SONGS OF THE PEOPLE?
- HEAVENS OF DOLLARS.
- WOW. GILLIS GOT THE MESSAGE.
- WHEN I WAS A LAD,
SPENT MANY HOURS
DOWN AT THE RIVER'S EDGE
LISTENING TO THE OLD
MEN TELL THEIR STORIES
AND SING THEIR SONGS.
THIS SONG HAS ALWAYS BEEN A
VERY SPECIAL FAVORITE OF MINE.
WE'VE ADDED SOME WORDS,
WHICH I THINK MAKES IT
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT
DURING THIS ELECTION.
♪ THE NAME'S DOBIE GILLIS ♪
- MY NAME'S DOBIE GILLIS.
♪ AND I'M HERE TO SAY ♪
- AND I'M HERE TO SAY...
♪ I HOPE YOU'LL ELECT ME ♪
- I HOPE YOU'LL ELECT ME...
♪ ON ELECTION DAY ♪
- ON ELECTION DAY.
♪ JUST PLAIN DOBIE GILLIS ♪
- JUST PLAIN DOBIE GILLIS...
♪ NO RICH MILLIONAIRE ♪
- NO RICH MILLIONAIRE,
BUT WHEN I'M IN OFFICE...
♪ BUT WHEN I'M IN OFFICE ♪
- I'LL TREAT YOU ALL SQUARE.
♪ I'LL TREAT YOU ALL SQUARE ♪
- EVERYBODY, SING. THERE'S
TWO THINGS I CARE FOR...
♪ THERE'S TWO
THINGS I CARE FOR ♪
- AND HERE'S WHAT THEY ARE...
♪ AND HERE'S WHAT THEY ARE ♪
- HEY, DO ME SOME SINGING...
♪ HEY, DO ME SOME SINGING ♪
- AND STRUM MY GUITAR.
♪ AND STRUM MY GUITAR ♪
- EVERYBODY, SO IF
YOU LIKE SINGING...
♪ SO IF YOU LIKE SINGING ♪
- AND YODELING, TOO...
♪ AND YODELING, TOO ♪
- THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE...
♪ THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE ♪
- A SQUARE BUCKAROO.
♪ A SQUARE BUCKAROO ♪
- SING IT LOUDER! SO
IF YOU LIKE SINGING...
♪ SO IF YOU LIKE SINGING ♪
- AND YODELING, TOO...
♪ AND YODELING, TOO ♪
- THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE...
♪ THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE ♪
- A SQUARE BUCKAROO.
♪ A SQUARE BUCKAROO ♪
- YAY!
- DOBIE DARLING, YOU
WERE ABSOLUTELY DIVINE.
- ZELDA.
- YOU SEE... NOW,
LOWER AND BREATHIER.
- ZELDA.
- BETTER.
YOU SEE, POOPSIE,
HOW WELL MY IDEA,
I REPEAT, MY IDEA, WORKED?
- DOBE, YOU'RE A GREAT AMERICAN
LIKE CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
OR MAHATMA GANDHI...
- I'M MERELY ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
- OR KING HENRY
VIII OR JACK PAAR.
- I'M MERELY ONE OF THE PEOPLE
WITH A LOW, BREATHY VOICE,
FLEXED MUSCLES, A
TROUBLED, WORLD-WEARY LOOK
AND, UH, LOTS OF SEX
APPEAL, JUST LIKE YOU ALL,
SO ELECT ME ALREADY.
- YAY.
- I DO NOT AGREE
WITH WHAT YOU SAY,
BUT I SHALL DEFEND TO THE
DEATH YOUR RIGHT TO SAY IT.
THAT WAS THE FAMOUS
FRENCH PHILOSOPHER VOLTAIRE.
[BELL RINGING]
NOW, HEAR THE UNDERPAID
AMERICAN TEACHER POMFRITT,
CLASS DISMISSED.
- WAIT A MINUTE,
KIDS, WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE WILL BE ANOTHER CONCERT
BY YOUR CANDIDATE AND MINE,
THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE,
THE SWEET SINGER
OF S. PETER PRYOR
JUNIOR COLLEGE,
DOBIE GILLIS,
IN THE COLLEGE
YARD IN FIVE MINUTES.
- YAY, DOBIE!
- HEY, I JUST DO MY BEST IS ALL.
- HMPHHHH.
- UH, DID YOU SAY
SOMETHING, MR. POMFRITT?
- YES, MR. GILLIS.
I SAID, "HMPHHHH,"
THAT'S H-M-P-H-H-H-H.
- OH, WELL, I'LL BE
SEEING YOU, MR. POMFRITT.
I GOTTA GO OUT AND DO A
LITTLE SINGING FOR MY PUBLIC.
OH, SAY, UH, YOU WOULDN'T
LIKE TO COME ALONG AND LISTEN,
WOULD YOU?
- THAT'S RIGHT. I WOULDN'T.
- MR. POMFRITT, I
GET THE IMPRESSION
THAT YOU DON'T
LIKE WHAT I'M DOING.
- WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE WHAT I LIKE?
- WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO MADE THE BIG SPEECH
ABOUT US KIDS GETTING
INTERESTED IN CAMPUS POLITICS.
- BUT I SAID POLITICS,
NOT SHOW BUSINESS.
POLITICS HAS TO DO WITH
ISSUES, NOT ENTERTAINMENT.
IF ENTERTAINMENT WERE THE
MOST IMPORTANT QUALIFICATION
FOR HOLDING OFFICE,
FRANK SINATRA SHOULD
BE IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
- I UNDERSTAND HE OFTEN IS.
- SAVE YOUR JOKES FOR
YOUR AUDIENCE, DOBIE.
DON'T WASTE THEM ON ME.
I CAN'T EVEN VOTE IN
A STUDENT ELECTION.
- LOOK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU SAY GO INTO POLITICS.
OKAY. I'M IN POLITICS.
WELL, IF A GUY'S IN POLITICS,
HE OUGHT TO WIN, SHOULDN'T HE?
AND IF FOLK SINGING'S A WAY
TO WIN, WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
MY FIRST DUTY IS TO
GET ELECTED, ISN'T IT?
- NO, IT IS NOT.
YOUR FIRST DUTY IS TO TELL
THE VOTERS WHAT YOU STAND FOR,
THE ISSUES.
- WELL, I... I TRIED TO TALK
TO THE KIDS ABOUT ISSUES.
THEY JUST IGNORED ME.
- WELL, THAT'S OFTEN THE CASE.
A FLASHY, GAUDY
CANDIDATE GETS THE CROWDS.
THE THOUGHTFUL ONE
GETS LEFT AT THE POST.
- YOU'RE DARN RIGHT.
- I'LL TELL YOU A
STRANGE THING, DOBIE.
THE WINNER IS THE LOSER.
- THE WINNER IS THE LOSER?
- IF YOU WANNA BE A
LEADER OF THE PEOPLE,
THEN YOU MUST LEAD.
YOU MUST DEAL IN
IDEAS, IN TRUTH, IN VISION.
YOU MUST APPEAL TO
THE PEOPLE'S MINDS.
I'LL ADMIT IT'S A LOT HARDER
TO SET A BUNCH OF
PEOPLE'S MINDS TO WORKING
THAN IT IS TO SET
THEIR TOES TO TAPPING.
BUT IF YOU AIM AT THEIR
TOES INSTEAD OF THEIR HEADS,
THEN WHAT HAVE YOU WON, DOBIE?
HOW HAVE YOU IMPROVED
OR ADVANCED ANYTHING?
YOU HAVEN'T LED.
YOU'VE FOLLOWED.
- I THINK I UNDERSTAND.
- WELL, I TRULY HOPE
THAT YOU DO, DOBIE,
'CAUSE THE FUTURE OF ALL OF US
DEPENDS ON JUST THAT
KIND OF UNDERSTANDING.
AND IF WE DON'T UNDERSTAND,
I'M AFRAID WE COULD ALL BE IN
FOR A LOT OF DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE.
NOW, ALWAYS REMEMBER, DOBIE,
ONE MAN IN THE RIGHT
CONSTITUTES A MAJORITY.
- YEAH?
- YES.
- YEAH, YEAH.
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP,
DOO-WOP DE-DE-HEY ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP,
DOO-WOP DOO-DOO-WOP ♪
- OH, HERE HE IS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE LEADER OF THE PEOPLE,
THAT LOW, BREATHY VOICE,
DOBIE GILLIS.
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP,
DOO-WOP HE-HE-HEY ♪
- FELLOW STUDENTS...
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP DOO ♪
- FELLOW STUDENTS, THE TIME
HAS COME TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES.
I INSIST THAT YOU
NOT VOTE FOR ME
SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU
LIKE THE WAY I SING.
AND AS CITIZENS OF THE
FUTURE, IT IS OUR DUTY TO THINK,
TO STUDY THE GRAVE MATTERS OF...
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪
- WE CANNOT IGNORE THE
PROBLEM OF TRASH COLLECTION
ON THIS CAMPUS.
STUDENTS...
MR. POMFRITT, YOU SAY
THAT ONE MAN IN THE RIGHT
CONSTITUTES A MAJORITY.
- IT'S TRUE, MR. GILLIS.
- I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
A MAJORITY OF ONE.
♪ SAY GOODBYE TO ME ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, ♪
♪ CINDY, CINDY I'LL
MARRY YOU SOMEDAY ♪
♪ SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED
ME SHE CALLED ME SUGAR PLUM ♪
♪ SHE THROWED HER ARMS AROUND
ME I THOUGHT MY TIME HAD COME ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
- DOBE, YOU'RE
GONNA WIN TOMORROW
'CAUSE I GOT ANOTHER IDEA.
WE TELL EVERYBODY
CHATS IS A TRUNK MURDERER.
THAT DON'T MEAN HE MURDERS
TRUNKS, HE TAKES PEOPLE...
- MAYNARD, ENOUGH GOOD THINKING.
- OH, LOOK, THE FUZZ.
- ALL RIGHT, KIDS. KNOCK IT OFF.
- OH. COME ON.
- I SAID KNOCK IT OFF.
- WERE YOU
ADDRESSING ME, OFFICER?
- DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT
FOR THIS HERE CLAMBAKE?
- NO, SIR, BUT THEY ALWAYS
LET US PLAY HERE ALL DAY LONG.
- ALL DAY LONG IS DIFFERENT.
BUT IT'S NIGHTTIME NOW. THE
NEIGHBORS ARE COMPLAINING.
- CHATSWORTH, DON'T LET
THAT MUSIC HATER SCARE YOU.
- OH, KNOCK THAT OFF, GIRLIE.
I HAPPEN TO BE A PRETTY
FAIR SINGER MYSELF.
- OH, COME ON.
- ALL RIGHT. I'LL SHOW
YOU. JUST LISTEN.
GIVE ME THE KEY OF C,
SONNY, AND THAT'S AN ORDER.
♪ WHEN IRISH HEARTS ARE HAPPY ♪
♪ ALL THE WORLD
SEEMS BRIGHT AND GAY ♪
♪ AND WHEN IRISH EYES ♪
♪ ARE SMILING ♪
♪ SURE, THEY STEAL YOUR HEART ♪
- OCTAVE.
♪ HEART AWAY ♪
- YAY. YEAH.
- THAT LAST NOTE, WOW!
- THAT'S THE LAST
NOTE YOU'LL BE HEARING
IN THESE PARTS TONIGHT.
NOW, MOVE ALONG, ALL OF YOU.
- OFFICER, SUPPOSE WE REFUSE?
- THEN IT'S OFF TO
THE POKEY WITH YOU.
- THE POKEY?
- BREAD AND WATERSVILLE.
- WE'RE MOVING.
- STAY WHERE YOU
ARE, CHATSWORTH.
THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY.
AND AS A CITIZEN, YOU'VE
GOT A RIGHT TO BE HEARD.
- SAYS WHO?
- SAYS THE CONSTITUTION
OF THE UNITED STATES,
THAT'S WHO SAYS.
IT GUARANTEES US LIBERTY
AND FREEDOM OF
SPEECH AND ASSEMBLY.
- I'M QUITE SURE THAT
IT DOES, GILLIS BABY,
BUT LET'S FORGET IT FOR
THE TIME BEING, SHALL WE?
OKAY? LET'S MOVE ALONG
THERE, OKAY, GANG?
- JUST STAND YOUR
GROUND, CHATSWORTH.
I MAY NOT AGREE
WITH WHAT YOU SAY,
BUT I WILL DEFEND TO THE
DEATH YOUR RIGHT TO SAY IT.
- NOW, LOOK HERE...
- LET HIM SEND YOU
TO JAIL, CHATSWORTH.
I'LL BE THERE, TOO, SHARING
YOUR BALL AND CHAIN.
- BALL AND CHAIN,
WHAT AN UNIMAGINATIVE
HABERDASHER.
- BE FIRM, CHATSWORTH.
- THANKS LOADS, GILLIS
BABY, BUT NO THANKS.
WHEN AN OSBORNE GOES TO JAIL,
IT'LL BE FOR SOMETHING
HE BELIEVES IN
LIKE CHEATING ON HIS INCOME TAX.
- ALL RIGHT. THE REST
OF YOU, NOW MOVE ALONG.
- NO, NO, NO. STAY
WHERE YOU ARE.
- WE'RE WITH YOU, DOBIE, BUT
WE NEED A LEADER, DON'T WE?
- YEAH!
- I ACCEPT THE NOMINATION.
- NOMINATION!
♪ HMM ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY WE'RE FOR
DOBIE HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALL
STAND UP FOR DOBIE ♪
♪ HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
- HEY, FELLAS, WAIT A
MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ STONE WALLS DO
NOT A PRISON MAKE ♪
♪ NOR IRON BARS A CAGE ♪
- MAYBE THAT WORKS
WITH YOU, GOOD BUDDY,
BUT, MAN, THEY SURE
GOT ME PENNED IN HERE.
- MAYNARD, AT LEAST
I WAS LOCKED UP
ON A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE.
YOU'RE GETTING IN HERE
WITH SHEER FOOLISHNESS.
- YEAH, I WAS THE FIRST GUY
IN THE HISTORY OF THE
POLICE DEPARTMENT
TO GET PINCHED FOR
BREAKING INTO JAIL.
- MAYNARD.
- WHAT GOT THEM
MAD WAS I MADE IT,
BUT I WANTED TO BE HERE
WITH YOU, GOOD BUDDY.
ARE YOU SURE THEY
HAVEN'T BEAT YOU
WITH A RUBBER HOSE YET?
- POSITIVE, MAYNARD.
- OH, DOBIE, MY POOR
LAMB, YOU LOOK HORRIBLE.
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?
- ZELDA, IT'S ME.
- OH.
- HEY, MAYNARD.
- OH, MY POOR, POOR EX-CONVICTS.
- ZELDA, DON'T USE... UH,
DID YOU SAY EX-CONVICT?
- OH, YES. YOU'RE A
FREE MAN. MAYNARD, TOO.
THE KIDS AT SCHOOL PUT IN
ALL THEIR NICKELS AND DIMES
AND QUARTERS TO
RAISE BAIL FOR YOU.
POOPSIE, YOU'RE A HERO.
- ME?
- HIM?
- MAYNARD.
- LISTEN, THEY ALL CAME
TO MARCH YOU HOME.
- GEE, THAT'S WONDERFUL OF THEM.
- GUARD, COME RELEASE
THESE PRISONERS AT ONCE.
OH, DOBIE DUMPLING, THE
SECOND YOU GET OUT OF THAT CELL,
I'M GONNA THROW MY ARMS
AROUND YOU AND KISS YOU
AND HUG YOU FOREVER AND EVER.
DOBIE, YOU DO WANT
TO GET OUT, DON'T YOU?
- I'M THINKING, I'M THINKING.
- DOBIE!
- OF COURSE, I WANT TO
GET OUT. I WAS JUST KIDDING.
ZELDA, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I
CAN EVER THANK YOU.
- DON'T WORRY, DOBE.
SHE'LL THINK OF A WAY.
- YOU BET I WILL,
DREAMBOAT. YOU BET I WILL.
- ZELDA, PLEASE.
- ZELDA, PLEASE.
♪ HMM ♪
- NOW, CUT THAT OUT!
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY FOR
DOBIE HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALL
STAND UP FOR DOBIE ♪
♪ HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
- HEY, DOBIE, YOU WON.
YOU WON THE ELECTION.
- OH, POOPSIE, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
- CONGRATULATIONS, DOBIE.
- I HOPE YOU MEAN IT, SIR,
BECAUSE I WON ON
THE ISSUES ALONE.
- ALONE.
♪ HMM ♪
- THAT'S RIGHT, MR. POMFRITT.
- THAT'S RIGHT,
MR. POMFRITT. HMM.
- MAYNARD.
- YOU KNOW, SEEING AS
HOW YOU CAMPAIGNED
AND WON ENTIRELY
ON THE ISSUES...
- YES, SIR?
- YES, SIR?
♪ HMM ♪
- HEY, FELLAS, PLEASE.
- I SEE NOTHING WRONG
WITH HAVING A LITTLE MUSIC
TO CELEBRATE.
D7, PLEASE.
♪ THERE ARE SMILES
THAT MAKE US HAPPY ♪
♪ THERE ARE SMILES
THAT MAKE US BLUE ♪
♪ THERE ARE SMILES THAT
STEAL AWAY THE TEARDROPS ♪
♪ AS THE SUNBEAMS
STEAL AWAY THE DOOM ♪
♪ THERE ARE SMILES THAT
HAVE A TENDER MEANING ♪
♪ THAT THE EYES OF
LOVE ALONE CAN SEE ♪
WHEN HE GOT DRY ♪
♪ AND BRUSH AWAY
THE BLUE-TAIL FLY ♪
♪ JIMMY CRACK CORN
AND I DON'T CARE ♪
♪ JIMMY CRACK CORN
AND I DON'T CARE ♪
♪ JIMMY CRACK CORN
AND I DON'T CARE ♪
♪ THE MASTER'S GONE AWAY ♪
♪ ONE DAY HE RODE
AROUND THE FARM ♪
- PROCEED, MS. FORBES.
- AND SO WE SEE THAT
IN THE NEW NATIONS
ALL OVER THE WORLD,
THERE IS A DEEP AND
GROWING INTEREST
IN THE POLITICAL AFFAIRS
AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE
WHILE WE ARE CONTENT TO
REMAIN ASLEEP, APATHETIC,
DISINTERESTED AND
EVEN LACKADAISICAL.
- YOU'LL FORGIVE
THE INTERRUPTION,
MY YOUNG SCHOLARS,
AND I USE THE TERM WITH MY
USUAL DEVIL-MAY-CARE ABANDON.
BUT DESPITE APPEARANCES,
TO THE CONTRARY,
THIS IS STILL A CLASS
IN POLITICAL SCIENCE,
NOT A JAM SESSION
FEATURING THE KINGSTON TRIO.
- LIKE, WHERE? LIKE, WHERE?
LIKE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE?
- MR. KREBS.
- OOH, OOH, MY
PEOPLE HAVE LANDED!
SOME CAT SAID SO. I HEARD HIM.
- I'M THE CAT WHO
MENTIONED THEM, MR. KREBS.
- OH, LIKE, THANK YOU, YOUR
CAP AND GOWN-SHIP, SIR.
I MEAN, SIR, YOU'RE LIKE
A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- MR. KREBS.
- AND THAT AIN'T EASY
CONSIDERING YOU'RE A TEACHER.
[JAZZ THEME]
- PEOPLE SAY THAT WE MEMBERS
OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION
ARE ALERT,
LEVEL-HEADED AND SOLID.
THERE'S ONLY ONE TROUBLE.
THE PEOPLE WHO SAY IT
ARE WE MEMBERS OF THE
YOUNGER GENERATION.
I'M AFRAID OUR
TEACHERS AND PARENTS
HAVE A SOMEWHAT
DIFFERENT OPINION.
TO THEM, WE'RE OFTEN
LOST AND BEWILDERED
WHILE THEY KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT THEY'RE DOING
AND WHERE THEY ARE.
- I HAVEN'T THE VAGUEST
IDEA WHERE WE ARE.
- MS. FORBES HAD JUST
FINISHED HER REPORT.
- OH, YES.
NOW, IT ALL COMES
BACK TO ME, I'M AFRAID.
ALL RIGHT, WAS ANYONE IN THIS
CLASS PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION
TO TELL ME WHAT SHE
WAS TALKING ABOUT?
- UH, CERTAINLY, MR. POMFRITT.
THE DELIGHTFUL MS.
FORBES WAS EXPLAINING
HOW COLLEGE KIDS
IN OTHER COUNTRIES
TAKE AN INTEREST IN
POLITICS AND CURRENT EVENTS
AND ALL LIKE THAT.
- AMAZING, MS. FORBES.
SOMEBODY OUT
THERE WAS LISTENING.
- BUT, OF COURSE, WHEN
URSULA FORBES SPEAKS,
DOBIE GILLIS LISTENS.
MAY I COMMENT, MS. FORBES,
THAT IT WAS THE MOST
FASCINATING REPORT...
- WHY, THANK YOU.
- AND SO BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED.
- HOW SWEET OF YOU TO SAY SO.
- HOW WONDERFUL
OF YOU TO BE YOU.
- HOW CHARMING YOU ARE.
- AND HOW LOVELY YOU ARE.
- HOW RIDICULOUS TO CALL
THIS A CLASS, EH, MR. GILLIS?
- YES, SIR.
- NOW, LISTEN, ALL OF YOU,
WE ARE HERE TO DISCUSS
IMPORTANT THOUGHTS
AND PRINCIPLES,
NOT TO LISTEN TO THE WAILING
OF SOME OFF-KEY BALLAD SINGERS.
THE LOCKER ROOMS ARE
FILLED WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC.
AND YOU CAN'T THROW
A ROCK AROUND HERE
WITHOUT HITTING A GUITAR PLAYER.
THAT'S THE BEST
IDEA I'VE HAD ALL DAY.
- MR. POMFRITT, NO OFFENSE,
BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH
FOLKS SINGING FOLK SONGS?
- THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH IT, MR. GILLIS,
PROVIDED THE RIGHT FOLKS
ARE DOING THE SINGING.
NOW, THESE TUNES WERE CREATED
BY HONEST WORKING PEOPLE
WHO SANG THEM TO MAKE
THEIR WORK GO EASIER.
THERE'S A VAST
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT
AND SOME CREW CUT BARITONE
WEARING A PAIR OF
CUSTOM-MADE BLUE JEANS
AND A HAND-TAILORED NECKERCHIEF
SINGING "I'VE BEEN
WORKING ON THE RAILROAD."
THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT IT,
AND YOU CAN CALL
ME AN OLD FOGEY.
- YOU ARE AN OLD FOGEY.
- MAYNARD.
- THAT'S THE WAY
HE FEELS ABOUT IT.
- WHY WASTE YOUR TIME
ON POINTLESS DIVERSIONS
LIKE FOLK SINGING
WHEN YOU COULD BE OUT
DOING IMPORTANT THINGS?
- LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, MR. P.?
- LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,
TAKING AN INTEREST
IN POLITICAL AFFAIRS, MR. K.,
THE WAY STUDENTS
DO IN OTHER COUNTRIES.
- YOU MEAN MARCH IN
DEMONSTRATIONS AND HAVE RIOTS?
- AND GROW BEARDS
LIKE THEM CATS IN CUBA?
- I WOULDN'T DREAM OF
SUGGESTING THAT YOU GROW A BEARD,
MR. KREBS.
WHY, DO YOU PEOPLE
REALIZE THAT NEXT WEEK
WE ARE HAVING A CAMPUS
ELECTION TO SELECT ONE OF YOU
FOR THE STUDENT COUNCIL
AND SO FAR NOBODY'S EVEN
BOTHERED TO GET NOMINATED?
- BUT THAT'S SHOCKING!
- UH, URSULA, YOU APPROVE
OF FELLAS WHO RUN FOR OFFICE?
- APPROVE OF THEM?
WHY, I THINK THAT ENTERING
POLITICS IS THE FINEST, NOBLEST,
MOST WONDERFUL
THING A BOY CAN DO.
GEE, WHEN I SEE A FELLOW WHO
FEELS AS I DO ABOUT SUCH THINGS,
I WANT TO THROW
MY ARMS AROUND HIM
AND HUG HIM AND KISS HIM
AND KISS HIM AND HUG HIM.
- HMM.
MR. POMFRITT, I'VE DECIDED TO
DECLARE MYSELF A CANDIDATE...
- TO DECLARE YOURSELF A
CANDIDATE FOR STUDENT COUNCIL.
- YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY?
- AMERICAN KNOW-HOW, MR. GILLIS.
- YOU ARE LOOKING
AT THE BRIGHT-EYED
AND BUSHY-TAILED CANDIDATE
FOR THE POSITION OF MEMBER
OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL.
WHY AM I ALL OF A SUDDEN
SO INTERESTED IN POLITICS?
IT'S SIMPLE.
AS A RESPONSIBLE
CITIZEN OF THE FUTURE,
I CONSIDER RUNNING FOR
OFFICE TO BE MY RIGHT, MY DUTY,
MY SACRED PRIVILEGE.
AND NAME ME A BETTER WAY
TO GET A GIRL WHO'S HOT
ON THIS PUBLIC SERVICE KICK.
BUT NOW THAT I'M
INVOLVED, I'M DISCOVERING
THAT THE GREAT GAME OF
POLITICS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER.
- DOBIE, YOU EXPECT TO BE
ELECTED TO STUDENT COUNCIL?
BOY, THAT IS A LAUGH.
- COME ON, NOW.
KNOCK IT OFF, ZELDA.
WHY COULDN'T I GET ELECTED?
ALL IT TAKES IS BRAINS
AND PERSONALITY AND TACT
AND A WILLINGNESS TO WORK HARD,
AND I JUST ANSWERED
MY OWN QUESTION.
- NOW, DON'T GIVE UP
THE SHIP SO FAST, POOPSIE.
I HAVE RUN THIS QUESTION
THROUGH MY GIANT BRAIN,
AND I'VE DEVISED A PLAN
THAT COULD GET YOU ELECTED.
- OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
ZELDA, YOU'RE A MAGNIFICENT
HUMAN BEING, A GEM, A...
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
- WHAT CATCH?
I'M SIMPLY GONNA RUN YOUR
ENTIRE CAMPAIGN FOR YOU, THAT'S ALL.
- I SEE. AND THAT MEANS
RUNNING ME, TOO, DOESN'T IT?
- YOU BET YOUR BOOTS, BUSTER.
- MM-HMM.
THANKS A LUMP,
ZELDA, BUT NO THANKS.
I DECLINE. NO, NEGATIVE, UH-UH.
- DON'T ARGUE,
LOVER. I'M TAKING OVER.
- ZELDA.
- YOU ARE LOOKING AT
ALL EIGHT KENNEDY WOMEN
ROLLED UP INTO ONE CUTE AS A
BUTTON PACKAGE OF DYNAMITE.
- ZELDA.
- NOW, I AM GOING TO BE
YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER
BECAUSE IF YOU'VE ALREADY GOT
ONE, IT'S BOUND TO BE MAYNARD,
AND HE COULDN'T GET
YOU ELECTED DOG CATCHER.
- HEY, DOBE, YOU RUNNING
FOR DOG CATCHER?
- ZELDA, MAYNARD'S NOT MY
CAMPAIGN MANAGER. MY CAMPAIGN...
- AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING?
- YES, YES.
MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER
IS URSULA FORBES,
AND SHE'S GONNA GET ME ELECTED
BECAUSE SHE'S
DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH ME.
- IN LOVE WITH
YOU? OH, COME NOW.
- OH, COME NOW.
- MAYNARD, YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE.
- DOBIE, MARK MY WORDS.
INSIDE OF 24 HOURS,
YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME
TO TAKE OVER YOUR CAMPAIGN.
- OH, YEAH?
- OH, YEAH, AND
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
URSULA FORBES IS THE
PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE CLASS
WITH A GORGEOUS FACE AND
A STUNNING FIGURE, RIGHT?
- RIGHT. SO?
- SO WITH ALL THAT,
WHAT DOES SHE NEED WITH
A SCHNOOK LIKE YOU?
NO OFFENSE. SEE
YOU AROUND, BUSTER.
- WELL, YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE CINCH
TO BE ELECTED, DOBIE DUMPLIN'.
YOU'RE CHARMING AND
LOVEABLE AND HONEST,
AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT
YOU'RE THE ONLY CANDIDATE.
- WELL, THAT DOES HELP.
- WRONG, GILLIS BABY, WRONG!
I, CHATSWORTH OSBORNE
JR., HAVE DECIDED
TO THROW MY
CHAPEAU INTO THE RING
AND RUN AGAINST YOU, DOBIE-DOO.
- CHATSWORTH, I DON'T GET THIS.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD
A BLUE-BLOODED,
ARISTOCRATIC, RICH
MILLIONAIRE LIKE YOU
WANT TO RUN FOR AN UNIMPORTANT
LITTLE STUDENT BODY OFFICE?
- I DOUBT THAT YOUR BREED
WOULD UNDERSTAND, GILLIS BABY.
BUT I'M A CANDIDATE
BECAUSE OF WHAT IS CALLED
NOBLESSE OBLIGE.
- WATCH THAT KIND OF TALK,
CHATS, THERE'S A LADY PRESENT.
- NOBLESSE OBLIGE,
MY UNILINGUAL BUMPKIN,
MEANS SIMPLY THAT NOBLE
RANK REQUIRES NOBLE CONDUCT.
THAT'S FRENCH.
- FLAKE OFF, CHATSY.
THAT'S ENGLISH.
- OH, HUSH UP, YOU
LOWBORN PERSON.
YOU ARE A PERFECT EXAMPLE
OF WHY WE MEMBERS
OF THE UPPER CLASS
MUST ENTER THE GRIMY
ARENA OF POLITICS,
TO KEEP POWER OUT OF
THE HANDS OF THE HOI POLLOI.
- DON'T LOOK AT ME, CHATSWORTH.
I DON'T DIG THAT HAWAIIAN FOOD.
- CHATSWORTH, I'LL ADMIT
YOU'RE A SUPERIOR FELLOW
AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
GONNA LOSE THE ELECTION.
PEOPLE DON'T VOTE
FOR SUPERIOR PEOPLE.
THEY VOTE FOR PEOPLE
LIKE THEMSELVES:
PLAIN, ORDINARY, DOWN-TO-EARTH.
IN SHORT, ME.
- YOUR POINT IS WELL TAKEN,
DOBIE-DOO, WELL TAKEN.
AND IF IT WERE JUST SUPERIOR
ME RUNNING FOR OFFICE,
I WOULD PROBABLY
LOSE TO INFERIOR YOU,
BUT IT'S NOT JUST SUPERIOR ME.
- SOMEBODY ELSE
IS RUNNING WITH YOU.
- TROUBADOURS.
♪ HMM ♪
- HERE, DOBIE-DOO,
IS MY SECRET WEAPON.
GATHER 'ROUND, GOOD
PEOPLE, GATHER 'ROUND.
HI, WELCOME, MUSIC LOVERS.
I AM CHATSWORTH OSBORNE JR.,
CANDIDATE FOR THE
STUDENT COUNCIL.
AND FOR MY FIRST NUMBER,
I SHALL SING "JUST AN ECHO."
AND ONE AND A TWO...
♪ JUST AN ECHO, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
♪ IN THE VALLEY, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
♪ BUT IT BRINGS BACK
SWEET MEMORIES OF ♪
♪ YOU-OOH-OOH ♪
- THANK YOU. THANK
YOU, BELOVED VOTERS.
REMEMBER, VOTE FOR
CHATSWORTH OSBORNE JR.
FOR STUDENT COUNCIL,
A MAN WHO SINGS THE
SONGS OF THE PEOPLE,
UNDERSTANDS THE PEOPLE.
- THE PEOPLE.
♪ HMM ♪
- CHATSWORTH, I BET YOU
HAVEN'T GOT THE NERVE
TO TELL THE VOTERS WHAT
PLATFORM YOU'RE RUNNING ON.
- WELL, CANDIDATE GILLIS,
WHAT PLATFORM ARE YOU
RUNNING ON, PRAY TELL?
- PRAY TELL.
♪ HMM ♪
- A REAL PLATFORM.
FELLOW STUDENTS, THE ISSUES
FACING THE STUDENT BODY
OF THIS SCHOOL ARE
MANY AND VARIED.
FIRST OF ALL, WHAT'S
TO BE DONE ABOUT
THE DEPLORABLE TRASH
COLLECTION SYSTEM ON OUR CAMPUS?
- HEY, CHATSWORTH,
GIVE US ANOTHER SONG!
- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ISSUES?
- WHAT ABOUT MORE MUSIC?
- WHEN THE PEOPLE
COMMAND, I OBEY.
- HE OBEYS.
♪ HMM ♪
- HEY, LOOK, I'M NOT FINISHED.
- YES, YOU ARE.
- YES, YOU ARE.
♪ HMM ♪
- NOW, CUT THAT OUT!
♪ JUST AN ECHO, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
♪ IN THE VALLEY, ♪
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
- URSULA, MY
ANGEL, NOT YOU, TOO.
- SQUARE.
♪ SWEET MEMORIES OF ♪
♪ YOU-OOH-OOH ♪
- YUP, THIS IS IT.
ENDSVILLE, FINIS, THE END
OF THE BRIEF BUT MISERABLE
POLITICAL CAREER
OF DOBIE GILLIS.
I MEAN, I DON'T MIND GETTING
WALLOPED IN A FAIR SCRAP,
BUT HOW CAN I FIGHT
CHATSWORTH'S LOW, MEAN,
SNEAKY, UNDERHANDED TRICKS?
- BY COOKING UP
LOW, MEAN, SNEAKY,
UNDERHANDED TRICKS OF YOUR OWN.
- THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF A FELLOW.
- TRUE, BUT I'M
THAT KIND OF A GIRL.
- SHE'S RIGHT, DOBE. SHE'S
PRETTY LOW, MEAN AND SNEAKY.
- TRUE.
- LIKE, THE LOWEST.
LIKE, THE MEANEST,
LIKE, THE SNEAKIEST.
- MAYNARD, MAYNARD,
YOU'RE MAKING...
- ZELDA, ZELDA, I APPRECIATE
YOUR WILLINGNESS TO HELP
IN MY HOUR OF NEED, BUT
I REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING
THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY
OPEN AND ABOVEBOARD.
AND WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND?
- NOW, YOU'RE TALKING.
COME HERE, DOBE.
- HEY, ZELDA.
- AND VOILA.
- ZELDA, WHAT IS THIS?
- CAN'T YOU SEE? IT'S A VOILA.
- DOBIE, I AM GOING TO TEACH
YOU TO SING 10 TIMES BETTER
THAN OLD CHATSWORTH
AND THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA
SKUNK HIM IN THE ELECTION.
- ME?
- HIM?
- NOW, CAN THE SMALL TALK,
MAN. WE GOT WORK TO DO.
- ZELDA, IF THIS IS A TRICK TO
WIN ME AWAY FROM URSULA,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
QUIT RIGHT NOW.
URSULA AND I WILL LOVE
EACH OTHER NIGHT AND DAY,
HEART AND SOUL
TILL THE END OF TIME.
- SURE, SURE. NOW, DOBIE...
- MM-HMM?
- IT'S IMPORTANT THAT
YOU'RE PREPARED TO PROJECT
A PROPER IMAGE OF
A MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
- YEAH.
- NOW, COME ON. STAND UP.
NOW, LOOK VIRILE. BRUSH
YOUR HAIR IN YOUR EYES.
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
- IF YOU DON'T, CHATSWORTH
WILL BLISTER YOU.
- BRUSH, BRUSH.
- I'M BRUSHING, I'M BRUSHING.
- UH-HUH.
- UH-UH.
- NEVER MIND, MAYNARD.
- NOW, IT'S ESSENTIAL
THAT YOU HAVE SEX APPEAL.
- MM-HMM.
- FLEX YOUR MUSCLES.
- YEAH.
- NOW, GIVE ME A TROUBLED,
WORLD-WEARY LOOK.
- OH, COME NOW.
- HOLD ON, MAYNARD.
NOW, DOLL FACE, THERE'S
A CERTAIN WAY OF SPEAKING
THAT'S VITAL TO THE SUCCESS
OF ANY POLITICAL CANDIDATE.
- MM-HMM.
- LOW AND BREATHY.
NOW, LET ME HEAR YOU SAY,
"HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH."
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH.
- NO, NO, NO. LOWER AND
SEXIER AND MORE HAH.
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH.
- OH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.
NOW, DREAMBOAT, LET'S
PUT ALL THE PARTS TOGETHER.
LOW, BREATHY VOICE...
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HAH.
- FLEXED MUSCLES...
- MM-HMM.
- TROUBLED, WORLD-WEARY
LOOK AND PLENTY OF SEX APPEAL.
- YEAH.
- LOVE ME TENDER.
♪ LOVE ME TEN... ♪
- GEE.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
LOOK, ZELDA, LOOK.
YOU AND I ARE NOT DESTINED TO GO
STROLLING DOWN LIFE'S
HIGHWAY HAND IN HAND,
SO I HOPE YOU'RE DOING THIS
SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU'RE CONVINCED
I'M THE RIGHT
CANDIDATE FOR THE JOB.
- OF COURSE, POOPSIE.
LOW, BREATHY VOICE.
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY, HI.
AND YOU WANT TO
SEE THE BEST MAN WIN.
- OF COURSE, PUMPKIN.
FLEX YOUR MUSCLES.
- HMM. YOU'RE LYING, AREN'T YOU?
- OF COURSE, SNOOKUMS.
NOW PAY ATTENTION.
- YEAH.
♪ LOVE ME ♪
♪ LOVE ME TENDER ♪
♪ LOVE BUG, I LOVE
YOU SO A-HA-HA ♪
♪ A-HA-HA ♪
♪ LOVE BUG, I LOVE
YOU SO A-HA-HA ♪
♪ HO-HO-HO ♪
♪ LOVE BUG, I LOVE YOU SO ♪
- YAY.
- THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS.
NOW, I COULD DISCUSS
AND BRILLIANTLY, OF COURSE,
THE ISSUES IN
TOMORROW'S ELECTION
AS MY LATE UNLAMENTED
OPPONENT SOUGHT TO DO,
BUT WHY INTERRUPT OUR FUN
AND GAMES FOR TRIVIALITIES?
- TRIVIALITIES.
♪ HMM ♪
- SO SINCE THE WINNER IS
A FOREGONE CONCLUSION,
LET THE MERRYMAKING
CONTINUE UNDIMINISHED.
- HOLD IT, HOLD IT, MEMBERS
OF THE ELECTORATE.
- YEAH, HOLD IT, YOU
ELECTORATE CATS.
- NOW DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE GONNA VOTE
FOR CHATSWORTH OSBORNE JR.
WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO
HEAR WHAT HIS OPPONENT HAS TO SAY.
- YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT WE'RE SAYING!
- DID YOU HEAR, MY
FAIR CAMPAIGNER?
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.
THEY WANT NO
POMPOUS PHRASEMAKER,
RATHER, SOMEONE THEY
UNDERSTAND, SOMEONE THEY DIG,
SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS
THEIR OWN LANGUAGE.
- LANGUAGE.
♪ HMM ♪
- HI, THERE, EVERYBODY.
MIND IF I DROP IN AND, UH, SING
SOME SONGS OF THE PEOPLE?
- HEAVENS OF DOLLARS.
- WOW. GILLIS GOT THE MESSAGE.
- WHEN I WAS A LAD,
SPENT MANY HOURS
DOWN AT THE RIVER'S EDGE
LISTENING TO THE OLD
MEN TELL THEIR STORIES
AND SING THEIR SONGS.
THIS SONG HAS ALWAYS BEEN A
VERY SPECIAL FAVORITE OF MINE.
WE'VE ADDED SOME WORDS,
WHICH I THINK MAKES IT
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT
DURING THIS ELECTION.
♪ THE NAME'S DOBIE GILLIS ♪
- MY NAME'S DOBIE GILLIS.
♪ AND I'M HERE TO SAY ♪
- AND I'M HERE TO SAY...
♪ I HOPE YOU'LL ELECT ME ♪
- I HOPE YOU'LL ELECT ME...
♪ ON ELECTION DAY ♪
- ON ELECTION DAY.
♪ JUST PLAIN DOBIE GILLIS ♪
- JUST PLAIN DOBIE GILLIS...
♪ NO RICH MILLIONAIRE ♪
- NO RICH MILLIONAIRE,
BUT WHEN I'M IN OFFICE...
♪ BUT WHEN I'M IN OFFICE ♪
- I'LL TREAT YOU ALL SQUARE.
♪ I'LL TREAT YOU ALL SQUARE ♪
- EVERYBODY, SING. THERE'S
TWO THINGS I CARE FOR...
♪ THERE'S TWO
THINGS I CARE FOR ♪
- AND HERE'S WHAT THEY ARE...
♪ AND HERE'S WHAT THEY ARE ♪
- HEY, DO ME SOME SINGING...
♪ HEY, DO ME SOME SINGING ♪
- AND STRUM MY GUITAR.
♪ AND STRUM MY GUITAR ♪
- EVERYBODY, SO IF
YOU LIKE SINGING...
♪ SO IF YOU LIKE SINGING ♪
- AND YODELING, TOO...
♪ AND YODELING, TOO ♪
- THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE...
♪ THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE ♪
- A SQUARE BUCKAROO.
♪ A SQUARE BUCKAROO ♪
- SING IT LOUDER! SO
IF YOU LIKE SINGING...
♪ SO IF YOU LIKE SINGING ♪
- AND YODELING, TOO...
♪ AND YODELING, TOO ♪
- THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE...
♪ THEN VOTE FOR OLD DOBIE ♪
- A SQUARE BUCKAROO.
♪ A SQUARE BUCKAROO ♪
- YAY!
- DOBIE DARLING, YOU
WERE ABSOLUTELY DIVINE.
- ZELDA.
- YOU SEE... NOW,
LOWER AND BREATHIER.
- ZELDA.
- BETTER.
YOU SEE, POOPSIE,
HOW WELL MY IDEA,
I REPEAT, MY IDEA, WORKED?
- DOBE, YOU'RE A GREAT AMERICAN
LIKE CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
OR MAHATMA GANDHI...
- I'M MERELY ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
- OR KING HENRY
VIII OR JACK PAAR.
- I'M MERELY ONE OF THE PEOPLE
WITH A LOW, BREATHY VOICE,
FLEXED MUSCLES, A
TROUBLED, WORLD-WEARY LOOK
AND, UH, LOTS OF SEX
APPEAL, JUST LIKE YOU ALL,
SO ELECT ME ALREADY.
- YAY.
- I DO NOT AGREE
WITH WHAT YOU SAY,
BUT I SHALL DEFEND TO THE
DEATH YOUR RIGHT TO SAY IT.
THAT WAS THE FAMOUS
FRENCH PHILOSOPHER VOLTAIRE.
[BELL RINGING]
NOW, HEAR THE UNDERPAID
AMERICAN TEACHER POMFRITT,
CLASS DISMISSED.
- WAIT A MINUTE,
KIDS, WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE WILL BE ANOTHER CONCERT
BY YOUR CANDIDATE AND MINE,
THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE,
THE SWEET SINGER
OF S. PETER PRYOR
JUNIOR COLLEGE,
DOBIE GILLIS,
IN THE COLLEGE
YARD IN FIVE MINUTES.
- YAY, DOBIE!
- HEY, I JUST DO MY BEST IS ALL.
- HMPHHHH.
- UH, DID YOU SAY
SOMETHING, MR. POMFRITT?
- YES, MR. GILLIS.
I SAID, "HMPHHHH,"
THAT'S H-M-P-H-H-H-H.
- OH, WELL, I'LL BE
SEEING YOU, MR. POMFRITT.
I GOTTA GO OUT AND DO A
LITTLE SINGING FOR MY PUBLIC.
OH, SAY, UH, YOU WOULDN'T
LIKE TO COME ALONG AND LISTEN,
WOULD YOU?
- THAT'S RIGHT. I WOULDN'T.
- MR. POMFRITT, I
GET THE IMPRESSION
THAT YOU DON'T
LIKE WHAT I'M DOING.
- WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE WHAT I LIKE?
- WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO MADE THE BIG SPEECH
ABOUT US KIDS GETTING
INTERESTED IN CAMPUS POLITICS.
- BUT I SAID POLITICS,
NOT SHOW BUSINESS.
POLITICS HAS TO DO WITH
ISSUES, NOT ENTERTAINMENT.
IF ENTERTAINMENT WERE THE
MOST IMPORTANT QUALIFICATION
FOR HOLDING OFFICE,
FRANK SINATRA SHOULD
BE IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
- I UNDERSTAND HE OFTEN IS.
- SAVE YOUR JOKES FOR
YOUR AUDIENCE, DOBIE.
DON'T WASTE THEM ON ME.
I CAN'T EVEN VOTE IN
A STUDENT ELECTION.
- LOOK, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU SAY GO INTO POLITICS.
OKAY. I'M IN POLITICS.
WELL, IF A GUY'S IN POLITICS,
HE OUGHT TO WIN, SHOULDN'T HE?
AND IF FOLK SINGING'S A WAY
TO WIN, WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
MY FIRST DUTY IS TO
GET ELECTED, ISN'T IT?
- NO, IT IS NOT.
YOUR FIRST DUTY IS TO TELL
THE VOTERS WHAT YOU STAND FOR,
THE ISSUES.
- WELL, I... I TRIED TO TALK
TO THE KIDS ABOUT ISSUES.
THEY JUST IGNORED ME.
- WELL, THAT'S OFTEN THE CASE.
A FLASHY, GAUDY
CANDIDATE GETS THE CROWDS.
THE THOUGHTFUL ONE
GETS LEFT AT THE POST.
- YOU'RE DARN RIGHT.
- I'LL TELL YOU A
STRANGE THING, DOBIE.
THE WINNER IS THE LOSER.
- THE WINNER IS THE LOSER?
- IF YOU WANNA BE A
LEADER OF THE PEOPLE,
THEN YOU MUST LEAD.
YOU MUST DEAL IN
IDEAS, IN TRUTH, IN VISION.
YOU MUST APPEAL TO
THE PEOPLE'S MINDS.
I'LL ADMIT IT'S A LOT HARDER
TO SET A BUNCH OF
PEOPLE'S MINDS TO WORKING
THAN IT IS TO SET
THEIR TOES TO TAPPING.
BUT IF YOU AIM AT THEIR
TOES INSTEAD OF THEIR HEADS,
THEN WHAT HAVE YOU WON, DOBIE?
HOW HAVE YOU IMPROVED
OR ADVANCED ANYTHING?
YOU HAVEN'T LED.
YOU'VE FOLLOWED.
- I THINK I UNDERSTAND.
- WELL, I TRULY HOPE
THAT YOU DO, DOBIE,
'CAUSE THE FUTURE OF ALL OF US
DEPENDS ON JUST THAT
KIND OF UNDERSTANDING.
AND IF WE DON'T UNDERSTAND,
I'M AFRAID WE COULD ALL BE IN
FOR A LOT OF DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE.
NOW, ALWAYS REMEMBER, DOBIE,
ONE MAN IN THE RIGHT
CONSTITUTES A MAJORITY.
- YEAH?
- YES.
- YEAH, YEAH.
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP,
DOO-WOP DE-DE-HEY ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP,
DOO-WOP DOO-DOO-WOP ♪
- OH, HERE HE IS,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE LEADER OF THE PEOPLE,
THAT LOW, BREATHY VOICE,
DOBIE GILLIS.
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP,
DOO-WOP HE-HE-HEY ♪
- FELLOW STUDENTS...
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP DOO ♪
- FELLOW STUDENTS, THE TIME
HAS COME TO DISCUSS THE ISSUES.
I INSIST THAT YOU
NOT VOTE FOR ME
SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU
LIKE THE WAY I SING.
AND AS CITIZENS OF THE
FUTURE, IT IS OUR DUTY TO THINK,
TO STUDY THE GRAVE MATTERS OF...
♪ DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP
DOO-DOO-WOP, DOO-WOP ♪
- WE CANNOT IGNORE THE
PROBLEM OF TRASH COLLECTION
ON THIS CAMPUS.
STUDENTS...
MR. POMFRITT, YOU SAY
THAT ONE MAN IN THE RIGHT
CONSTITUTES A MAJORITY.
- IT'S TRUE, MR. GILLIS.
- I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
A MAJORITY OF ONE.
♪ SAY GOODBYE TO ME ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, ♪
♪ CINDY, CINDY I'LL
MARRY YOU SOMEDAY ♪
♪ SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LOVED
ME SHE CALLED ME SUGAR PLUM ♪
♪ SHE THROWED HER ARMS AROUND
ME I THOUGHT MY TIME HAD COME ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
♪ GET ALONG HOME, CINDY, CINDY ♪
- DOBE, YOU'RE
GONNA WIN TOMORROW
'CAUSE I GOT ANOTHER IDEA.
WE TELL EVERYBODY
CHATS IS A TRUNK MURDERER.
THAT DON'T MEAN HE MURDERS
TRUNKS, HE TAKES PEOPLE...
- MAYNARD, ENOUGH GOOD THINKING.
- OH, LOOK, THE FUZZ.
- ALL RIGHT, KIDS. KNOCK IT OFF.
- OH. COME ON.
- I SAID KNOCK IT OFF.
- WERE YOU
ADDRESSING ME, OFFICER?
- DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT
FOR THIS HERE CLAMBAKE?
- NO, SIR, BUT THEY ALWAYS
LET US PLAY HERE ALL DAY LONG.
- ALL DAY LONG IS DIFFERENT.
BUT IT'S NIGHTTIME NOW. THE
NEIGHBORS ARE COMPLAINING.
- CHATSWORTH, DON'T LET
THAT MUSIC HATER SCARE YOU.
- OH, KNOCK THAT OFF, GIRLIE.
I HAPPEN TO BE A PRETTY
FAIR SINGER MYSELF.
- OH, COME ON.
- ALL RIGHT. I'LL SHOW
YOU. JUST LISTEN.
GIVE ME THE KEY OF C,
SONNY, AND THAT'S AN ORDER.
♪ WHEN IRISH HEARTS ARE HAPPY ♪
♪ ALL THE WORLD
SEEMS BRIGHT AND GAY ♪
♪ AND WHEN IRISH EYES ♪
♪ ARE SMILING ♪
♪ SURE, THEY STEAL YOUR HEART ♪
- OCTAVE.
♪ HEART AWAY ♪
- YAY. YEAH.
- THAT LAST NOTE, WOW!
- THAT'S THE LAST
NOTE YOU'LL BE HEARING
IN THESE PARTS TONIGHT.
NOW, MOVE ALONG, ALL OF YOU.
- OFFICER, SUPPOSE WE REFUSE?
- THEN IT'S OFF TO
THE POKEY WITH YOU.
- THE POKEY?
- BREAD AND WATERSVILLE.
- WE'RE MOVING.
- STAY WHERE YOU
ARE, CHATSWORTH.
THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY.
AND AS A CITIZEN, YOU'VE
GOT A RIGHT TO BE HEARD.
- SAYS WHO?
- SAYS THE CONSTITUTION
OF THE UNITED STATES,
THAT'S WHO SAYS.
IT GUARANTEES US LIBERTY
AND FREEDOM OF
SPEECH AND ASSEMBLY.
- I'M QUITE SURE THAT
IT DOES, GILLIS BABY,
BUT LET'S FORGET IT FOR
THE TIME BEING, SHALL WE?
OKAY? LET'S MOVE ALONG
THERE, OKAY, GANG?
- JUST STAND YOUR
GROUND, CHATSWORTH.
I MAY NOT AGREE
WITH WHAT YOU SAY,
BUT I WILL DEFEND TO THE
DEATH YOUR RIGHT TO SAY IT.
- NOW, LOOK HERE...
- LET HIM SEND YOU
TO JAIL, CHATSWORTH.
I'LL BE THERE, TOO, SHARING
YOUR BALL AND CHAIN.
- BALL AND CHAIN,
WHAT AN UNIMAGINATIVE
HABERDASHER.
- BE FIRM, CHATSWORTH.
- THANKS LOADS, GILLIS
BABY, BUT NO THANKS.
WHEN AN OSBORNE GOES TO JAIL,
IT'LL BE FOR SOMETHING
HE BELIEVES IN
LIKE CHEATING ON HIS INCOME TAX.
- ALL RIGHT. THE REST
OF YOU, NOW MOVE ALONG.
- NO, NO, NO. STAY
WHERE YOU ARE.
- WE'RE WITH YOU, DOBIE, BUT
WE NEED A LEADER, DON'T WE?
- YEAH!
- I ACCEPT THE NOMINATION.
- NOMINATION!
♪ HMM ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY WE'RE FOR
DOBIE HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALL
STAND UP FOR DOBIE ♪
♪ HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
- HEY, FELLAS, WAIT A
MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ STONE WALLS DO
NOT A PRISON MAKE ♪
♪ NOR IRON BARS A CAGE ♪
- MAYBE THAT WORKS
WITH YOU, GOOD BUDDY,
BUT, MAN, THEY SURE
GOT ME PENNED IN HERE.
- MAYNARD, AT LEAST
I WAS LOCKED UP
ON A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE.
YOU'RE GETTING IN HERE
WITH SHEER FOOLISHNESS.
- YEAH, I WAS THE FIRST GUY
IN THE HISTORY OF THE
POLICE DEPARTMENT
TO GET PINCHED FOR
BREAKING INTO JAIL.
- MAYNARD.
- WHAT GOT THEM
MAD WAS I MADE IT,
BUT I WANTED TO BE HERE
WITH YOU, GOOD BUDDY.
ARE YOU SURE THEY
HAVEN'T BEAT YOU
WITH A RUBBER HOSE YET?
- POSITIVE, MAYNARD.
- OH, DOBIE, MY POOR
LAMB, YOU LOOK HORRIBLE.
WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?
- ZELDA, IT'S ME.
- OH.
- HEY, MAYNARD.
- OH, MY POOR, POOR EX-CONVICTS.
- ZELDA, DON'T USE... UH,
DID YOU SAY EX-CONVICT?
- OH, YES. YOU'RE A
FREE MAN. MAYNARD, TOO.
THE KIDS AT SCHOOL PUT IN
ALL THEIR NICKELS AND DIMES
AND QUARTERS TO
RAISE BAIL FOR YOU.
POOPSIE, YOU'RE A HERO.
- ME?
- HIM?
- MAYNARD.
- LISTEN, THEY ALL CAME
TO MARCH YOU HOME.
- GEE, THAT'S WONDERFUL OF THEM.
- GUARD, COME RELEASE
THESE PRISONERS AT ONCE.
OH, DOBIE DUMPLING, THE
SECOND YOU GET OUT OF THAT CELL,
I'M GONNA THROW MY ARMS
AROUND YOU AND KISS YOU
AND HUG YOU FOREVER AND EVER.
DOBIE, YOU DO WANT
TO GET OUT, DON'T YOU?
- I'M THINKING, I'M THINKING.
- DOBIE!
- OF COURSE, I WANT TO
GET OUT. I WAS JUST KIDDING.
ZELDA, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW I
CAN EVER THANK YOU.
- DON'T WORRY, DOBE.
SHE'LL THINK OF A WAY.
- YOU BET I WILL,
DREAMBOAT. YOU BET I WILL.
- ZELDA, PLEASE.
- ZELDA, PLEASE.
♪ HMM ♪
- NOW, CUT THAT OUT!
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY FOR
DOBIE HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALL
STAND UP FOR DOBIE ♪
♪ HIP HIP HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
♪ WHEN DOBIE STANDS
UP AND FIGHTS ♪
♪ WE SAY HOORAY, HOORAY ♪
- HEY, DOBIE, YOU WON.
YOU WON THE ELECTION.
- OH, POOPSIE, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
- CONGRATULATIONS, DOBIE.
- I HOPE YOU MEAN IT, SIR,
BECAUSE I WON ON
THE ISSUES ALONE.
- ALONE.
♪ HMM ♪
- THAT'S RIGHT, MR. POMFRITT.
- THAT'S RIGHT,
MR. POMFRITT. HMM.
- MAYNARD.
- YOU KNOW, SEEING AS
HOW YOU CAMPAIGNED
AND WON ENTIRELY
ON THE ISSUES...
- YES, SIR?
- YES, SIR?
♪ HMM ♪
- HEY, FELLAS, PLEASE.
- I SEE NOTHING WRONG
WITH HAVING A LITTLE MUSIC
TO CELEBRATE.
D7, PLEASE.
♪ THERE ARE SMILES
THAT MAKE US HAPPY ♪
♪ THERE ARE SMILES
THAT MAKE US BLUE ♪
♪ THERE ARE SMILES THAT
STEAL AWAY THE TEARDROPS ♪
♪ AS THE SUNBEAMS
STEAL AWAY THE DOOM ♪
♪ THERE ARE SMILES THAT
HAVE A TENDER MEANING ♪
♪ THAT THE EYES OF
LOVE ALONE CAN SEE ♪