The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 2, Episode 8 - Around My Room in 80 Days - full transcript
Dobie helps a student get his girl and stay in school.
- BEST THING WE EVER
DONE, HUH, CASEY?
- WHAT?
- DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL, MAN.
FRANTIC, HUH?
- CRAZY.
- YEAH, MAN, THIS
SURE IS THE LIFE.
- WHAT?
- WHAT WE'RE DOING, STUPID.
- WHAT ARE WE DOING?
- WE'RE LIVING IT UP, MAN?
JUST HACKING AROUND.
NO TEACHERS, NO
CLASSES, NO HOMEWORK,
NOBODY ON OUR BACKS.
AIN'T THAT FRANTIC?
- CRAZY.
- YEAH.
THEY'RE SQUARES IN THERE,
18 YEARS OLD AND
STILL GOING TO SCHOOL.
AIN'T THAT FRANTIC?
- CRAZY.
- CHATSWORTH, WHERE YOU
GOING ALL DRESSED UP SO PRETTY,
TO DANCING SCHOOL?
- NO. HE'S GOING TO
TAKE THE PRINCIPAL
A NICE, SHINY RED APPLE.
- WHERE'D YOU GET
THAT PRETTY STRIPED TIE?
DID YOUR MOMMY GIVE IT TO YOU?
- HEY, YOU GUYS,
LAY OFF CHATSWORTH.
HE DIDN'T DO NOTHING TO YOU.
- YEAH.
IF YOU GUYS ARE
LOOKING FOR A RUMBLE,
WE'RE HERE TOO.
- THANKS AWFULLY, CHAPS,
BUT I CAN HANDLE
THIS RIFF RAFF MYSELF.
- GOODNESS GRACIOUS, CHATSWORTH,
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO US?
- WOW, WHERE YOU'D
LEARN THAT, CHATSWORTH?
- WELL, DOBIE DOO,
SINCE THE AGE OF 7,
I HAVE BEEN TAKING
BI-WEEKLY LESSONS IN JUDO
FROM THE CELEBRATED
JAPANESE MASTER ITO NAMURI.
- ITO...
- AS A MATTER OF FACT,
HE'S WAITING AT MY
HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
- TO GIVE YOU
ANOTHER JUDO LESSON?
- NO, KREBS, BABY. HE ALSO GIVES
LESSONS IN FLOWER ARRANGEMENT.
TA TA!
♪ DOBIE ♪
[SCATTING]
♪ DOBIE ♪
[SCATTING]
[SCATTING] ♪ DOBIE ♪
[SCATTING]
- THOSE GUYS THAT CHATSWORTH
ROUGHED UP, THEY'RE DROPOUTS.
I MEAN, THEY QUIT SCHOOL,
AND NOW THEY JUST BUM
AROUND TOWN DOING NOTHING.
WELL, THEY CAN HAVE IT.
SCHOOL MAY BE A PAIN
THE NECK SOMETIMES,
BUT LATELY I HAVEN'T
BEEN DOING TOO BAD.
THE OTHER DAY IN ENGLISH
CLASS, FOR INSTANCE,
MR. POMFRITT SAID TO ME...
- HAIL TO THEE BLITHE
SPIRIT IS A FAMOUS LINE
FROM A FAMOUS POEM.
NOW, DOBIE GILLIS,
CAN YOU NAME THE
POEM AND THE POET?
- "TO A SKYLARK," BY
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY.
- WELL, BLESS MY SOUL,
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT?
- IT IS?
- IT IS?
- YES, DOBIE, IT IS.
AND I WANT YOU TO STAY
AFTER SCHOOL THIS AFTERNOON.
- BUT YOU SAID MY
ANSWER WAS RIGHT.
- I ALSO SAID I WANT YOU
TO STAY AFTER SCHOOL.
- PAUL MERRICK, CAN YOU
NAME TWO MORE POEMS
BY SHELLEY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- SURE YOU DO, PAUL, THINK.
- YEAH, BOY, THINK.
- I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW.
- ALL RIGHT, PAUL.
LINDA MAYHEW,
CAN YOU NAME TWO
MORE POEMS BY SHELLY?
- "ODE TO THE WEST
WIND" AND "ADONAIS."
- VERY GOOD, LINDA.
- AND NOW, LET'S
TURN TO THE WORKS
OF MY FAVORITE POET,
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
[BELL RINGING]
- CLASS, EXCEPT
FOR DOBIE GILLIS...
- OH.
- DISMISSED.
- WHAT DID I DO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- EVERYBODY'S
ALWAYS PICKING ON ME.
- PAUL? PAUL, WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- YES, THERE IS.
- ALL RIGHT, THERE IS. WHAT'S
THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOU?
- LOOK, WE'VE BEEN
IN SCHOOL TOGETHER
SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS.
NATURALLY I'D TAKE AN INTEREST.
- LOOK, WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND
OF CHARITY WORK YOU'RE DOING?
- OH, STOP THAT. ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU'RE POOR, SO ARE
A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE.
- LIKE YOU?
- WELL, NO.
- ALL RIGHT THEN. DON'T
BE SUCH AN EXPERT.
- PAUL, YOU WERE AN A STUDENT
UP UNTIL A FEW MONTHS AGO.
NOW, YOU'RE ON THE EDGE
OF FLUNKING OUT. WHY?
- WHAT DO YOU CARE?
- I TOLD YOU, WE'RE FRIENDS.
LET ME HELP YOU. PLEASE?
- DO YOU MEAN IT?
- OF COURSE I DO.
- LINDA, BABY,
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
TENNIS THIS AFTERNOON?
EXCUSE ME, PAULSY DOO.
- IN JUST A LITTLE
WHILE, CHATSWORTH.
- DO HURRY, CHILD,
BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO GET IN
A LITTLE SPLASH AFTER THE GAME.
- IN A FEW MINUTES.
- COMING PAUL?
- GO WITH YOUR FRIEND, LINDA.
- PAUL?
- BECAUSE MY FRIENDS
ARE HERE FOR ME.
- YEAH. WE AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
- NOW, YOU SAW IT, BOYS,
PAUL WITH THOSE DROPOUTS.
- DROPOUTS?
HOW COME THEY
CALL THEM DROPOUTS?
- BECAUSE THEY DROPPED OUT OF
SCHOOL BEFORE THEY GRADUATED.
- OH, WHAT DO THEY DO NOW?
- NOTHING, JUST LOAF.
- YEAH? HOW OLD
DO YOU HAVE TO BE
TO BE A DROPOUT?
- YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH, MAYNARD.
- YEAH?
- BUT IF YOU DO, I WILL
PERSONALLY GRAB YOU
BY THAT BEARD AND DRAG
YOU RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN.
THAT'S THE WORST THING
THAN CAN HAPPEN TO A KID,
DROPPING OUT.
AND MAYBE IT SOUNDS
LIKE FUN TO YOU,
JUST LOAFING AND HANGING
AROUND STREET CORNERS,
BUT THAT DOESN'T GO ON FOR LONG.
PRETTY SOON IT COMES
TIME TO GO TO WORK.
- WORK?!
- YES, MAYNARD, WORK.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
- AND WHAT KIND OF
JOBS DO THESE KIDS GET?
THEY'RE NOT EQUIPPED
FOR ANY SKILLED
OR EVEN SEMI-SKILLED WORK.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
DOBIE, I NEED YOUR HELP.
- YOU NEED MY HELP?
- WITH PAUL MERRICK.
BOYS, HE'S ON THE VERGE OF
DROPPING OUT OUT SCHOOL,
AND PERSONALLY I CONSIDER
THAT A GREAT TRAGEDY.
- PERSONALLY? HOW?
- WELL, IT MAY COME AS SOMETHING
OF A SHOCK TO YOU, DOBIE,
BUT I DO TAKE A
PERSONAL INTEREST
IN MY STUDENTS, IN
EVERY ONE OF THEM.
- NO OFFENSE, BUT HOW COME
YOU'RE SO MEAN AND ROTTEN?
- NO OFFENSE, MAYNARD.
I AM MEAN AND ROTTEN BECAUSE
TRYING TO CRAM AN EDUCATION
INTO THE SKULLS OF
HEALTHY YOUNG ANIMALS
IS A JOB THAT
REQUIRES A FIRM HAND
AND NERVES OF STEEL.
IN FACT, THERE ARE
TIMES WHEN I THINK
I SHOULD COME TO CLASS
EQUIPPED WITH A KITCHEN CHAIR,
A PISTOL, AND A WHIP.
IT'S NOT AN EASY JOB,
MY YOUNG BARBARIANS,
BUT IT'S A JOB I ASKED FOR
AND I'VE NEVER REGRETTED
IT FOR A MOMENT,
BECAUSE IT'S A JOB
WITH MANY REWARDS,
AND I'M NOT SPEAKING
OF THAT PITTANCE
IN MY PAY ENVELOPE AT
THE END OF EACH MONTH.
I'M SPEAKING OF THE KIDS
WHO GO OUT OF MY CLASS
INTO THE WORLD AND MAKE
A NAME FOR THEMSELVES.
THOSE ARE MY TROPHIES, BOYS.
THOSE ARE MY
MEDALS, MY CITATIONS.
- WELL, MR. POMFRITT,
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO
DO ABOUT PAUL MERRICK?
- DOBIE, I WANT YOU
TO PERSUADE HIM
TO STRAIGHTEN HIMSELF
OUT AND STAY IN SCHOOL.
- ME?
- HIM?
- WHY ME? WHY NOT HIS PARENTS?
- UNFORTUNATELY, PAUL
DOESN'T HAVE ANY PARENTS.
HE'S LIVING WITH
AN OLDER BROTHER
WHO DRIVES A TRUCK
AND IS PRACTICALLY
NEVER AT HOME.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PRINCIPAL,
THE SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST, YOU?
- WE ALL TRIED, DOBIE,
AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
- DOBIE, I'VE BEEN WATCHING
YOU EVER SINCE YOU CAME
TO CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL.
NOW, YOUR MARKS, I ADMIT,
WILL NEVER TAKE ANY PRIZES,
AND YOUR TALENTS,
LET'S BE FRANK,
THEY DEFY DETECTION.
HOWEVER, THERE IS
ONE THING YOU DO HAVE.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- THE ABILITY TO
INSPIRE CONFIDENCE.
EVERYBODY TRUSTS YOU, DOBIE.
- AH, SHUCKS, MR. POMFRITT.
- NOW, NO MODESTY. NO MODESTY.
YOU'VE GOT A KIND OF
GOODNESS THAT SHINES THROUGH.
- WELL, WHAT CAN I DO?
- JUST TALK TO PAUL.
BE HIS FRIEND.
TRY TO CONVINCE HIM
WHAT A MISTAKE HE'S MAKING,
BECAUSE HE IS, YOU KNOW.
PAUL'S A BRILLIANT
STUDENT, OR USED TO BE.
- OH, GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU SAY YOU'VE TRIED,
AND THE PRINCIPAL,
AND THE PSYCHOLOGIST,
AND YOU ALL STRUCK OUT?
- BUT THAT'S JUST
THE POINT, DOBIE,
PAUL DOESN'T TRUST ADULTS.
YOU ON THE OTHER
HAND, YOU, DOBIE GILLIS,
ARE A NATURAL BORN YOUTH LEADER.
- DOBIE'S A NATURAL
BORN YOUTH LEADER?
- NO.
- HE SURE IS.
- WELL, I'M A NATURAL
BORN YOUTH FOLLOWER.
- WAIT.
- COME ON, DOB.
WE'LL GO OVER TO PAUL'S...
- MAYNARD.
MR. POMFRITT, WAIT...
- PAUL? HEY PAUL?
HE'S NOT HERE, MAYNARD.
- OOH, I DON'T THINK NOBODY
BUT KIDNAPPERS LIVE HERE.
- KIDNAPPERS?
- YEAH, LIKE IN THE MOVIES.
WHEN THEY'RE, LIKE, HOLDING
SOMEBODY FOR RANSOM,
THEY ALWAYS GOT AN IRON BED
AND A LIGHT BULB HANGING DOWN.
- MAYNARD, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THIS IS PAUL'S ROOM, ALL RIGHT.
IT'S THE RIGHT ADDRESS.
GEE, IT IT ISN'T QUITE
WHAT I EXPECTED.
- IT AIN'T GOOD, GOOD BUDDY.
- NO.
- I'VE SEEN PRETTIER ROOMS
THAN THIS IN HORROR PICTURES.
- HE'S BEEN, LIKE,
LIKE SEWING THE HOLES
IN HIS SOCKS TOGETHER.
- GEE, I'M GETTING, LIKE, ALL
MISTY. LET'S GO, DOB, HUH?
- YEAH. NO WONDER PAUL
NEVER INVITED ANYBODY HERE.
- YEAH.
- GEE, WE BETTER
NOT LET HIM KNOW
THAT WE'VE BEEN
SNOOPING AROUND HERE.
IT'S LIKE, LIKE, OPENING
SOMEBODY ELSE'S MAIL.
HE WOULDN'T LIKE IT.
- HI PAUL, CAN WE SIT
WITH YOU? THANKS.
- YEAH. THANKS PAUL, YOU'RE
LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- YOU SURE ARE, PAUL.
YOU'RE QUITE A FELLOW,
AND AWFUL SMART TOO.
YES, SIR, PAUL. WE'RE SURE HAPPY
TO BE HAVING LUNCH WITH YOU.
- THAT'S RIGHT, PAUL.
- YEAH.
- WHY JUST THIS MORNING, I
SAID TO MY GOOD BUDDY, DOBIE,
WOULDN'T IT BE CRAZY TO
HAVE LUNCH WITH PAUL TODAY.
- YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT, PAUL.
THAT'S WHAT MAYNARD WAS SAYING.
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S ALL HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER.
- SURE, PAUL.
WHERE'S YOUR LUNCH?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHERE'S MY LUNCH?
- I MEAN, LIKE I DON'T SEE IT.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU
DON'T THINK I CAN AFFORD LUNCH?
- OH, SURE. SURE.
- SURE, PAUL, YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT. NOW, COME ON,
WHAT DO YOU GUYS REALLY WANT.
- WHAT? WELL...
- WELL...
- WHAT WE REALLY WANT...
- IS YOU TELL, HIM, DOBIE.
- YEAH IS SOME HELP
WITH OUR HOMEWORK.
YEAH. WE NEED SOME
HELP - YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU WANT ME
TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK?
- YEAH, UH-HUH.
- I'M FLUNKING IN EVERYTHING.
- OH, YOU'RE JUST
IN KIND OF A SLUMP,
THAT'S ALL, PAUL. YOU'RE STILL
THE SMARTEST GUY IN CLASS.
I MEAN, A GUY LIKE YOU'S
GOT A GREAT FUTURE.
- OH, IT'LL BE A SMASH.
- YES.
- YEAH.
- DOCTOR, LAWYER.
- INDIAN CHIEF?
- GOOD THINKING, YEAH.
- PAUL GALECKBI GREAT
FUTURE PUSHING A BROOM.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, DOCTOR, LAWYER.
FOR THAT YOU'VE GOT
TO GO TO COLLEGE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS?
- WELL, YOU COULD WORK
YOUR WAY THROUGH.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
- WOULDN'T THAT BE JUST GREAT,
ME BUSTING TABLES IN
SOME FRATERNITY HOUSE.
ALL THOSE FAT, RICH SLOBS
LOOKING DOWN THEIR NOSES AT ME.
HEY, BOY, BOY, FILL
MY WATER GLASS.
BOY BOY, KETCHUP.
HEY, BOY, CAN'T YOU
MOVE ANY FASTER?
YEAH. IT'D BE JUST
GREAT. NO THANKS.
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LOOKING
DOWN THEIR NOSES AT ME
MY WHOLE LIFE. I'VE HAD IT.
- LISTEN, PAUL. YOU'VE
GOT TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL.
DON'T DROP OUT. YOU'RE
MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
- YEAH. WELL, THANKS
FOR THE GOOD ADVICE,
KINDLY OLD PHILOSOPHER.
- WE DIDN'T DO SO
GOOD, HUH, DOB?
- GOOD THINKING.
- YEAH. MAYBE WE SHOULD QUIT.
- QUIT? I DON'T KNOW THE
MEANING OF THE WORD QUIT.
- IT MEANS, LIKE, STOP, LIKE,
CUT OUT, LIKE, FLAKE OFF,
LIKE, PACK IT IN, LIKE,
RUN LIKE A BUNNY.
- OH, THAT QUIT.
- YEAH, LET'S.
- GOOD THINKING.
- GOOD THINKING.
- SO WE SEE THAT
IN HIS LATER POETRY,
AND PARTICULARLY IN HIS SONNETS,
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH...
[BELL RINGING]
- REACHED HIS FULL POWERS
AS AN IMPORTANT ENGLISH POET.
CLASS IS NOT DISMISSED.
[ALL GROANING]
- I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU AN
ASSIGNMENT FOR TOMORROW.
I WANT EACH OF YOU TO WRITE
ME A THEME OF 500 WORDS
TO BE CALLED "A TRIP
AROUND MY ROOM."
SIMPLY SET DOWN IN
CLEAR, CONCISE ENGLISH,
PREFERABLY
GRAMMATICAL WHAT YOU SEE
WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND YOUR ROOM.
FOR INSTANCE, WHAT
COLOR ARE THE WALLS,
HOW MANY WINDOWS THERE ARE,
WHAT KIND OF FURNITURE
THERE IS. THINGS LIKE THAT.
ALL RIGHT, MAYNARD, WHAT IS IT?
- MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
HOW CAN YOU, LIKE, TAKE A
TRIP AROUND YOUR ROOM?
I MEAN, YOUR ROOM IS
JUST A LITTLE TINY PLACE.
A TRIP IS WHEN
YOU GET ON A TRAIN
OR A PLANE AND GO SOMEWHERE.
- THANK YOU, MAYNARD.
IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF A TRIP.
- LIKE SAY IF YOU
WENT TO NEW ORLEANS
TO HEAR SOME NEW
ORLEANS JAZZ, YEAH.
- MAYNARD.
- OR WENT TO CHICAGO
TO HEAR SOME CHICAGO JAZZ.
- MAYNARD.
- OOH, OR WENT TO DULUTH
TO HEAR SOME DULUTH JAZZ.
- MAYNARD! ENOUGH.
JUST DESCRIBE YOUR ROOM.
ALL RIGHT, CLASS.
EXCEPT FOR MAYNARD
AND DOBIE, DISMISSED.
- WELL, HOW'D YOU MAKE
OUT WITH PAUL, BOYS?
- WELL WE DID GREAT. HE
TOLD US TO LEAVE HIM ALONE,
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO,
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
- YEAH.
- YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO QUIT?
- THAT'S THE WORD, QUITTING.
- OH, WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE
I HAD ANY RIGHT TO ASK YOU
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- HONEST, MR. POMFRITT,
I DID EVERYTHING I COULD.
- SURE, DOBIE. IT'S
NOT YOUR PROBLEM
IF A BOY LIKE PAUL MERRICK
THROWS AWAY A FINE POTENTIAL
AND ENDS UP A BUM.
- REALLY, MR. POMFRITT,
I DID MY BEST.
- AFTER ALL, YOU'RE NOT YOUR
BROTHER'S KEEPER, ARE YOU?
IF YOU WANT TO QUIT,
THAT'S YOUR PRIVILEGE.
- DOB?
- HUH?
- I THINK YOU'RE BEING SNOWED.
- I THINK SO TOO.
- HE'S RIGHT.
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT, MR. POMFRITT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO? TELL ME.
- JUST TRY AGAIN.
JUST ONCE MORE. OKAY, DOBIE?
- BUT I HAVEN'T GOT A CHANCE.
- DOBIE, REMEMBER THIS.
IT MATTERS NOT IF
YOU WIN OR LOSE,
BUT HOW YOU RUN THE RACE.
AND IF AT FIRST
YOU DON'T SUCCEED,
TRY, TRY AGAIN.
AND A MAN WHO WON'T
BE BEAT CAN'T BE BEAT,
AND A MAN WHO CAN'T
BE BEAT WON'T BE BEAT.
- STUFF A COLD AND
STARVE A FEVER.
JUST HOLDING UP MY END
OF THE CONVERSATION.
- MAYNARD, OLD FRIEND,
I'VE THOUGHT LONG AND
HARD ABOUT PAUL'S PROBLEM.
AND IN MY VAST EXPERIENCE,
I'VE LEARNED THAT
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
CHERCHEZ LA FEMME.
- THAT'S LIKE BRILLIANT, DOB.
- YEAH. IT IS KIND OF, ISN'T IT?
- WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
- IT'S FRENCH, MAYNARD.
IT MEANS FIND THE WOMAN.
- OH, WE'RE GOING TO GO TO
FRANCE AND FIND HIM A WOMAN?
- NO, MAYNARD.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
- WE'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE.
- WELL, WHERE'S THE
WOMAN COMING FROM?
- RIGHT THERE.
- HI LINDA.
- HI DOBIE.
- THAT'S THE GIRL YOU'RE
GOING TO GET PAUL, HUH?
- GOOD THINKING, MAYNARD.
JUST LET ME DO THE TALKING.
- HI, LINDA, BABY.
IT IS I, YOUR EVER
LOVING CHATSWORTH.
- IN A MINUTE, CHATSWORTH.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, DOBIE?
- YOU, YES.
I HADN'T FIGURED ON CHATSWORTH.
- IT'S ALL RIGHT, GILLIS, BABY.
LINDA HAS NO SECRETS FROM ME.
- OH, HUSH UP, CHATSWORTH.
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED
TO TALK TO ME ABOUT, DOBIE?
- WELL, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU HAD A DATE FOR
THE DANCE SATURDAY?
- AS A MATTER OF FACT I
HAVEN'T. ARE YOU ASKING ME?
- WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
NOT FOR MYSELF, THAT IS.
- FOR SOMEBODY ELSE?
- WELL, YES.
- AND WHO MIGHT
THAT BE, JOHN ALDEN?
- JOHN ALDEN? IT
AIN'T JOHN ALDEN.
IT'S PAUL MERRICK?
- MERRICK? OH, WOW.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH PAUL MERRICK?
- ANY NUMBER OF THINGS,
BUT LET'S BEGIN WITH
THOSE SEEDY CHARACTERS
HE HANGS AROUND WITH.
- GUILT BY ASSOCIATION.
IT DOESN'T PROVE A THING.
LOOK AT THE SEEDY
CHARACTER I HANG AROUND WITH.
NO OFFENSE, MAYNARD.
- NO OFFENSE.
- THERE'S QUITE A
DIFFERENCE, DOBIE DOO.
I MEAN, THIS RAGAMUFFIN,
SHABBY THOUGH HE IS,
IS BASICALLY QUITE
A DECENT SORT.
PAUL'S FRIENDS ON THE OTHER
HAND ARE REALLY TOO IMPOSSIBLE.
- I'M AFRAID HE'S RIGHT, DOBIE.
SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO PAUL
IN THE LAST FEW
MONTHS. SOMETHING BAD.
- BUT YOU ALWAYS LIKED HIM.
- I WAS ALWAYS HIS FRIEND,
YES, AND I STILL WANT TO BE.
BUT YOU CAN'T BE
FRIENDS WITH A BOY
WHO KEEPS TURNING
HIS BACK ON YOU.
- BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE
YOU TO THE DANCE SATURDAY.
- HE SENT YOU TO ASK ME?
- NOT EXACTLY, BUT I
KNOW HE WANTS TO.
- SEE HERE, GILLIS.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS
I WAS GOING TO ASK
LINDA TO THE DANCE
RIGHT AFTER WE FINISHED
GOLFING THIS AFTERNOON.
- CHATSWORTH, YOU GOT
EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
DO YOU NEED LINDA TOO?
PAUL REALLY NEEDS
HER. HE'S IN TROUBLE.
- DOBIE, IF I THOUGHT
I COULD HELP PAUL,
YOU KNOW I'D SAY
YES IN A MINUTE.
BUT LET'S FACE IT,
HE'S TOO FAR GONE.
- OH, HONEST, LINDA,
HE'S A GREAT GUY A
HUNDRED PERCENT.
- HE WAS. IT'S GONE NOW.
- OH, NO, LINDA. NO.
- LOOK HERE, CHAPS.
THIS ARGUMENT IS
RATHER POINTLESS.
I MEAN, TOMORROW WE'LL KNOW
WHAT SORT OF A PERSON
PAUL IS, WON'T WE?
- TOMORROW?
- YES.
- HOW?
- YEAH, LIKE HOW?
- DON'T YOU REMEMBER
OUR ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT,
A TRIP AROUND MY ROOM.
- SO?
- SO, TOMORROW IN CLASS
WE'LL BE READING OUR THEMES,
AND I ALWAYS SAY, YOU
SHOW ME A MAN'S ROOM
AND I'LL TELL YOU WANT
KIND OF A MAN HE IS.
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
LUXURIOUS FURNISHINGS,
I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE KIND OF THING
HE KEEPS AROUND HIM,
GOOD BOOKS, GOOD
MUSIC, GOOD HOBBIES.
THAT'S WHERE A MAN REALLY
SHOWS HIS CHARACTER.
DON'T YOU AGREE, LINDA?
- YES. I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE.
- WELL, THEN WHY
STAND AROUND DEBATING
WHEN TOMORROW
WE'LL HAVE THE ANSWER.
- BYE BOYS.
- TA TA, CHAPS.
- DOB?
- YEAH.
- YOU REMEMBER PAUL'S ROOM?
- I SURE DO.
- HEY, DOB, KNOW
WHAT WE'RE LIKE?
- LIKE DEAD?
- GOOD THINKING.
- GOOD THINKING, YEAH.
- NOW, MAYNARD.
- MY ROOM, BY MAYNARD G. KREBS.
MY THEME IS KIND OF
SHORT, MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
ON ACCOUNT I LIVE
IN A SMALL ROOM.
- PROCEED, MAYNARD.
- I OPEN THE DOOR TO MY ROOM.
WHAT DO I SEE?
THE SWEATSHIRT I LEFT
ON THE FLOOR LAST NIGHT.
WHAT IS THE NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS THE SNEAKERS I LEFT
BESIDE THE SWEATSHIRT.
AND WHAT IS THE
NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS THE SOCKS I LEFT
BESIDE THE SNEAKERS.
AND WHAT IS THE
NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS MY RECORDS, SINGLES,
ALBUMS, 33S, 45S,
78s, HI-FI, LOW-FI STEREO,
HUNDREDS AND
THOUSANDS OF RECORDS,
PILES AND STACKS
AND HEAPS OF RECORDS.
AND WHAT IS THE
NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS MY MOTHER STANDING
IN THE DOOR SAYING,
MAYNARD, CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM
OR YOUR FATHER WILL PUT
YOU IN MANUAL TRAINING SCHOOL.
LIKE, THANK YOU.
- IT SOUNDS A SIMPLE HOVEL,
MAYNARD, BUT YOUR OWN.
- LIKE, TRUE.
- PAUL MERRICK.
- A TRIP AROUND MY ROOM.
WHEN YOU COME INTO MY ROOM,
THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE
HOW LIGHT EVERYTHING IS.
THE WALLS AND THE
CEILING ARE LIGHT,
AND SOMETIMES WHEN THE SUN
COMES IN THROUGH THE BIG WINDOWS
AT THE SIDES,
IT'S SO BRIGHT YOU ALMOST
HAVE TO SQUINT UP YOUR EYES
TO KEEP OUT THE LIGHT.
OVER MY BED ON WALL ARE
TWO CROSSED TENNIS RACQUETS,
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE ARE
TWO CROSSED DUELING SWORDS.
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF MY ROOM IS BIG DESK
WHERE I KEEP MY MICROSCOPE.
IT GOES UP TO 1200 POWER,
HAS THREE OBJECTIVE
LENS TURRETS,
HIGHLY POLISHED CONCAVE
MIRRORS AND OPTICAL CONDENSERS,
AND IT KEPT IN A MAHOGANY
STAINED HARDWOOD STORAGE CASE.
IN THE DRAWERS OF MY DESK
I KEEP MY STAMP COLLECTION
AND MY COIN COLLECTION
AND MY ROCK SPECIMENS.
I'VE GOT PRETTY
INTERESTING STAMPS TOO.
FOR INSTANCE, I'VE GOT AN UNUSED
HAWAIIAN ISLANDS FIVE CENT BLUE
FROM 1840.
THAT'S ONE OF THE RAREST
KIND OF STAMPS EVER PRINTED.
NEXT TO THE DESK AS YOU GO
AROUND MY ROOM IS A HI-FI SET
AND A PRETTY BIG PHONOGRAPH,
SO I CAN HEAR ALL THE
GOOD MUSIC I WANT, ANYTIME.
NEXT IS SORT OF WORK BENCH
WHERE I KEEP ALL MY
CHEMISTRY APPARATUS
WHERE I CAN DO ALL
KINDS OF EXPERIMENTS.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE HAVE MADE
VERY IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES
WITH EQUIPMENT
JUST AS BASIC AS MINE.
BUT THE BEST THING IN MY
ROOM IS MY COLLECTION OF BOOKS,
BECAUSE...
I FOUND THAT A MAN CAN
TRAVEL TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
WHILE SITTING IN AN ARM CHAIR
IF HE HAS PLENTY OF GOOD BOOKS.
I DON'T' WANT TO BRAG, BUT...
IT'S SUCH A GOOD ROOM
THAT YOU COULDN'T
WANT A BETTER ONE.
- CONGRATULATIONS, PAUL.
THAT WAS A FINE ESSAY,
AND A FINE ROOM TOO.
JUST THE SORT OF ROOM
I'D EXPECT YOU TO HAVE.
- IT'S OKAY.
- PAUL?
- YEAH.
- I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I LIKED YOUR THEME.
YOUR ROOM SOUNDS
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.
- WHAT'D YOU THINK I LIVED
IN, SOME KIND OF DUMP?
- PAUL MERRICK,
YOU GET THAT CHIP
OFF YOUR SHOULDER
AND LISTEN TO ME.
I SAID I LIKED YOUR THEME.
I SAID I LIKED YOUR ROOM.
NOW, A BOY WHO LIVES
IN A ROOM LIKE THAT
HAS JUST GOT TO
BE GOOD DEEP DOWN,
SO MY ANSWER'S YES.
I WILL GO TO THE DANCE
WITH YOU SATURDAY NIGHT.
- DANCE SATURDAY NIGHT? WHAT...
- DON'T YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME?
- YEAH. BUT...
- OKAY. IT'S A DATE.
OKAY?
- OKAY.
- OH, AND IF YOU WANT
TO SEE ME ANY OTHER TIME,
WHY, I'M AVAILABLE.
OH, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE
FOR A DANCE OR A
PARTY OR ANYTHING.
I MEAN, IF YOU JUST WANT
TO WALK AND TALK, CALL ME.
- LINDA, I...
- BECAUSE YOU'RE
A VERY FINE BOY,
AND A SMART BOY, AND
IT'D BE A CRYING SHAME
IF YOU WERE TO
DROP OUT OF SCHOOL.
- YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T
EVEN THINK YOU...
- YOU DIDN'T THINK I CARED?
- UNH-UH.
- OF COURSE I DO, PAUL.
LOTS OF PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU.
I MEAN, YOU'RE A VERY
IMPORTANT HUMAN BEING,
EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO.
- AIN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL.
DON'T IT JUST BUST YOU
ALL UP INSIDE, CASEY?
- YEAH. HAND ME MY
LACE HANDKERCHIEF,
I THINK I'M GOING TO CRY.
- PAUL, SEND THOSE TWO AWAY,
AND I MEAN AWAY FOR GOOD.
- SURE, PAUL, DO WHAT
THE RICH LADY SAYS.
- YEAH. AND IF
YOU'RE VERY POLITE,
MAYBE SHE'LL LET YOU COME AROUND
THE BACK DOOR FOR A HANDOUT.
- PAUL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
- COME ON, CASEY,
WE DON'T WANT NO
SOCIAL CLIMBERS.
- WAIT.
- PAUL.
- YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
- YES, SIR, LINDA.
YOU SURE CAN TELL ABOUT A MAN
FROM THE KIND OF
ROOM HE LIVES IN.
- OH, SHUT UP.
- SHUT UP?
LINDA LINDA, I'M
TALKING ABOUT PAUL.
YOU HEARD HIS THEME.
- DON'T EVER MENTION
HIS NAME TO ME AGAIN.
- BUT HE'S A WONDERFUL GUY.
- HE'S A BUM AND A LOAFER,
AND I THINK ALL THAT
STUFF ABOUT HIS ROOM
IS JUST A BIG LIE.
I THINK HIS ROOM
IS JUST LIKE HE IS,
CRUMMY AND ROTTEN.
- OH, YOU'RE WRONG.
- ALL RIGHT.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SHOW ME PAUL'S ROOM?
- WELL...
- I THOUGHT SO.
- ALL RIGHT. I'LL
SHOW YOU HIS ROOM.
- GOOD BUDDY GOOD
BUDDY, HAVEN'T YOU, LIKE,
FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, GOOD BUDDY?
- WELL, NO. NO. TOMORROW
AFTERNOON OKAY, LINDA?
- GOOD BUDDY...
- TOMORROW AFTERNOON
WILL BE JUST FINE.
- GOOD. GOOD.
- YOU GOT A PLAN, DOB?
LIKE, PLEASE TELL ME YOU
GOT A PLAN, LIKE, PLEASE?
- I GOT A PLAN.
- GILLIS, BABY, ABOUT YOUR PLAN,
YOU'RE DEFINITELY SICK.
I MEAN, YOU NEED ATTENTION.
- CHATSWORTH, YOU GOTTA DO IT.
- LOOK, PAUL TOLD THIS
GREAT WHOPPING LIE
ABOUT HIS ROOM,
AND YOU WANT ME TO
MAKE IT ALL COME TRUE.
YOU WANT ME TO SUPPLY THE
THINGS HE SAID HE HAD IN HIS ROOM.
- WELL, YOU'VE GOT
THEM, HAVEN'T YOU?
- RIDICULOUS QUESTION.
OF COURSE I'VE GOT THEM.
- AND I'LL GET MY FATHER'S
TRUCK TO HAUL THEM OVER,
AND MAYNARD WILL KEEP
PAUL AWAY FROM THE ROOM.
- DOBIE DOO, MAY I REMIND
YOU THAT I HAVE MORE
THAN A CASUAL INTEREST IN LINDA,
AND YOU'RE ASKING ME
TO HELP PAUL
MERRICK STEAL MY GIRL.
EGAD, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
- CHATSWORTH, IF YOU
WERE JUST ANYBODY,
I WOULDN'T ASK,
BUT YOU'RE
CHATSWORTH OSBORN, JR.
WHY YOU'VE GOT FAMILY AND
ANCESTORS AND TRADITION.
WHY YOU'VE GOT A COAT OF
ARMS WITH A MOTTO IN LATIN.
[SPEAKING LATIN]
THAT MUST MEAN SOMETHING.
- AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT
MEANS NEVER DIP INTO CAPITAL.
- OH.
- HOWEVER,
YOU HAVE STRUCK A
RESPONSIVE CHORD.
THE GALLANTRY OF IT
IS RATHER ME, ISN'T IT?
- TO THE T.
- GREATER LOVE HATH
NO MAN AND ALL THAT.
IT WOULD BE A GRAND
GESTURE, WOULDN'T IT?
- YES. AND SO LIKE YOU.
- GILLIS?
I'LL DO IT.
- CHATSWORTH, YOU'RE
LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- OH, RATHER MORE THAN THAT.
- WELL, LINDA?
- OH, DOBIE.
- HI FI-SET.
- RECORDS.
- BUTTERFLY COLLECTION.
- BOOKS.
- TENNIS RACQUETS.
- DUELING SWORDS.
- AND A MICROSCOPE.
- AND A STAMP COLLECTION, ROCKS.
- IT'S EXACTLY THE
WAY HE DESCRIBED IT.
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW?
- I SAY I MISJUDGED
PAUL, AND I'M SORRY.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW, LINDA,
IF ANYBODY COULD TALK HIM
OUT OF QUITTING SCHOOL, IT'S YOU.
- DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I KNOW IT LINDA.
HE'S APE FOR YOU.
HE'S JUST TOO SHY TO TELL YOU.
CAN'T YOU PERSUADE
HIM TO STAY IN SCHOOL?
- MAYBE I CAN.
YES. I KNOW I CAN.
- OH, GOOD.
- HEY, DOB.
- MAYNARD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE KEEPING PAUL AWAY.
- I, LIKE, GOOFED.
- WHERE'S PAUL?
- DOES THAT ANSWER
YOUR QUESTION?
- WHERE DID ALL THIS
STUFF COME FROM?
WHOSE IS IT?
- WELL, ISN'T IT YOURS?
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHERE WOULD I GET ENOUGH
MONEY TO BUY STUFF LIKE THIS?
- NICE WORK, DOBIE.
FIRST PAUL TELLS ME A BIG LIE,
AND THEN YOU HELP HIM
OUT WITH ANOTHER BIG LIE.
EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING HOME.
- NOW, JUST A MINUTE.
JUST A DARN MINUTE.
- LET ME OUT.
- OKAY. I'M A LIAR.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- I BORROWED THIS STUFF
FROM CHATSWORTH - CHATSWORTH?
AND PUT IT IN HERE. BUT
PAUL DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
- OH.
- AND PAUL LIED TOO,
WHEN HE WROTE THAT
THEME ABOUT HIS ROOM.
HE WAS MAKING IT UP, ALL OF IT.
- I THOUGHT IT.
- BUT WHY?
WHY DID HE MAKE
UP A ROOM LIKE THIS?
BECAUSE IT'S THE KIND
OF ROOM HE'D LIKE TO HAVE.
LOOK AT IT. MICROSCOPE,
STAMP COLLECTION, MUSIC BOOKS.
IS THE KIND OF ROOM A
BUM WOULD DREAM UP?
- WELL...
- NO. NO. NO.
THIS IS THE ROOM OF A DECENT,
INTELLIGENT, AMBITIOUS KID,
AND THAT'S WHAT PAUL IS,
DECENT, INTELLIGENT, AMBITIOUS.
AND IF YOU'RE NOT INTELLIGENT
ENOUGH TO SEE THAT,
THEN YOU'RE NOT
INTELLIGENT ENOUGH
FOR AN INTELLIGENT
GUY LIKE PAUL.
- I'M GETTING PRETTY MISTY, DOB.
- PAUL, IS THIS REALLY
THE KIND OF ROOM
YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE?
- ARE YOU KIDDING? WHO WOULDN'T?
- THOSE TWO CREEPY
FRIENDS OF YOURS WOULDN'T,
THAT'S WHO WOULDN'T.
- PAUL WILL YOU STOP
HANGING AROUND
WITH THOSE TWO BOYS
AND STAY IN SCHOOL?
- YEAH.
- WHAT FOR?
- WELL, FOR ONE THING
SO THAT YOU AND I
CAN BE TOGETHER.
- YEAH. THAT'S WHAT FOR.
- DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT, LINDA?
- WELL, OF COURSE I DO.
AND FOR ANOTHER THING,
SO THAT YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE
AND AMOUNT TO SOMETHING.
YOU'VE GOT WHAT IT
TAKES PAUL, I KNOW IT.
- WHAT DO YOU SAY, PAUL?
- WHAT CAN I DO?
I'M OUTNUMBERED.
- THANKS, DOBIE.
- MAYNARD?
- YEAH, GOOD BUDDY?
- I'M GETTING PRETTY MISTY TOO.
- THESE THREE MAGICAL
LINES FROM "KUBLA KHAN",
ARE CONSIDERED AMONG
THE MOST INSPIRED LYRICS
IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
AND SO WE TAKE OUR LEAVE
OF SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE,
AND TURN ONCE AGAIN
TO MY FAVORITE POET,
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
[BELL RINGING]
- CLASS, EXCEPT FOR
MAYNARD G. KREBS
AND DOBIE GILLIS, DISMISSED.
BOYS, CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU DID A WONDERFUL
JOB ON PAUL MERRICK.
- THANK YOU, MR. POMFRITT.
- I ONLY WISH THERE
WAS SOMETHING
I COULD DO IN RETURN.
- TELL HIM, MAYNARD. TELL HIM.
- WELL, AS MATTER OF FACT...
- YES?
- YOU TELL HIM, DOB.
- WELL, MR. POMFRITT,
DO YOU REMEMBER THE MARK
MAYNARD GOT ON HIS LAST TEST?
- HOW CAN I FORGET? A MINUS 40.
MAYNARD, YOU MISSED
FOUR QUESTIONS
THAT WEREN'T EVEN ON THE TEST.
- WELL, MAYNARD WAS
WONDERING, MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
IF YOU COULD RAISE HIS
MARK TO AN EVEN ZERO.
- I THINK THAT CAN BE ARRANGED.
- MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
YOU'RE, LIKE, A
REAL HUMAN BEING.
- YEAH. YEAH. HE IS KIND
OF LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING.
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
DONE, HUH, CASEY?
- WHAT?
- DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL, MAN.
FRANTIC, HUH?
- CRAZY.
- YEAH, MAN, THIS
SURE IS THE LIFE.
- WHAT?
- WHAT WE'RE DOING, STUPID.
- WHAT ARE WE DOING?
- WE'RE LIVING IT UP, MAN?
JUST HACKING AROUND.
NO TEACHERS, NO
CLASSES, NO HOMEWORK,
NOBODY ON OUR BACKS.
AIN'T THAT FRANTIC?
- CRAZY.
- YEAH.
THEY'RE SQUARES IN THERE,
18 YEARS OLD AND
STILL GOING TO SCHOOL.
AIN'T THAT FRANTIC?
- CRAZY.
- CHATSWORTH, WHERE YOU
GOING ALL DRESSED UP SO PRETTY,
TO DANCING SCHOOL?
- NO. HE'S GOING TO
TAKE THE PRINCIPAL
A NICE, SHINY RED APPLE.
- WHERE'D YOU GET
THAT PRETTY STRIPED TIE?
DID YOUR MOMMY GIVE IT TO YOU?
- HEY, YOU GUYS,
LAY OFF CHATSWORTH.
HE DIDN'T DO NOTHING TO YOU.
- YEAH.
IF YOU GUYS ARE
LOOKING FOR A RUMBLE,
WE'RE HERE TOO.
- THANKS AWFULLY, CHAPS,
BUT I CAN HANDLE
THIS RIFF RAFF MYSELF.
- GOODNESS GRACIOUS, CHATSWORTH,
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO US?
- WOW, WHERE YOU'D
LEARN THAT, CHATSWORTH?
- WELL, DOBIE DOO,
SINCE THE AGE OF 7,
I HAVE BEEN TAKING
BI-WEEKLY LESSONS IN JUDO
FROM THE CELEBRATED
JAPANESE MASTER ITO NAMURI.
- ITO...
- AS A MATTER OF FACT,
HE'S WAITING AT MY
HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
- TO GIVE YOU
ANOTHER JUDO LESSON?
- NO, KREBS, BABY. HE ALSO GIVES
LESSONS IN FLOWER ARRANGEMENT.
TA TA!
♪ DOBIE ♪
[SCATTING]
♪ DOBIE ♪
[SCATTING]
[SCATTING] ♪ DOBIE ♪
[SCATTING]
- THOSE GUYS THAT CHATSWORTH
ROUGHED UP, THEY'RE DROPOUTS.
I MEAN, THEY QUIT SCHOOL,
AND NOW THEY JUST BUM
AROUND TOWN DOING NOTHING.
WELL, THEY CAN HAVE IT.
SCHOOL MAY BE A PAIN
THE NECK SOMETIMES,
BUT LATELY I HAVEN'T
BEEN DOING TOO BAD.
THE OTHER DAY IN ENGLISH
CLASS, FOR INSTANCE,
MR. POMFRITT SAID TO ME...
- HAIL TO THEE BLITHE
SPIRIT IS A FAMOUS LINE
FROM A FAMOUS POEM.
NOW, DOBIE GILLIS,
CAN YOU NAME THE
POEM AND THE POET?
- "TO A SKYLARK," BY
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY.
- WELL, BLESS MY SOUL,
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT?
- IT IS?
- IT IS?
- YES, DOBIE, IT IS.
AND I WANT YOU TO STAY
AFTER SCHOOL THIS AFTERNOON.
- BUT YOU SAID MY
ANSWER WAS RIGHT.
- I ALSO SAID I WANT YOU
TO STAY AFTER SCHOOL.
- PAUL MERRICK, CAN YOU
NAME TWO MORE POEMS
BY SHELLEY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- SURE YOU DO, PAUL, THINK.
- YEAH, BOY, THINK.
- I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW.
- ALL RIGHT, PAUL.
LINDA MAYHEW,
CAN YOU NAME TWO
MORE POEMS BY SHELLY?
- "ODE TO THE WEST
WIND" AND "ADONAIS."
- VERY GOOD, LINDA.
- AND NOW, LET'S
TURN TO THE WORKS
OF MY FAVORITE POET,
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
[BELL RINGING]
- CLASS, EXCEPT
FOR DOBIE GILLIS...
- OH.
- DISMISSED.
- WHAT DID I DO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- EVERYBODY'S
ALWAYS PICKING ON ME.
- PAUL? PAUL, WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- YES, THERE IS.
- ALL RIGHT, THERE IS. WHAT'S
THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOU?
- LOOK, WE'VE BEEN
IN SCHOOL TOGETHER
SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS.
NATURALLY I'D TAKE AN INTEREST.
- LOOK, WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND
OF CHARITY WORK YOU'RE DOING?
- OH, STOP THAT. ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU'RE POOR, SO ARE
A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE.
- LIKE YOU?
- WELL, NO.
- ALL RIGHT THEN. DON'T
BE SUCH AN EXPERT.
- PAUL, YOU WERE AN A STUDENT
UP UNTIL A FEW MONTHS AGO.
NOW, YOU'RE ON THE EDGE
OF FLUNKING OUT. WHY?
- WHAT DO YOU CARE?
- I TOLD YOU, WE'RE FRIENDS.
LET ME HELP YOU. PLEASE?
- DO YOU MEAN IT?
- OF COURSE I DO.
- LINDA, BABY,
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
TENNIS THIS AFTERNOON?
EXCUSE ME, PAULSY DOO.
- IN JUST A LITTLE
WHILE, CHATSWORTH.
- DO HURRY, CHILD,
BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO GET IN
A LITTLE SPLASH AFTER THE GAME.
- IN A FEW MINUTES.
- COMING PAUL?
- GO WITH YOUR FRIEND, LINDA.
- PAUL?
- BECAUSE MY FRIENDS
ARE HERE FOR ME.
- YEAH. WE AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
- NOW, YOU SAW IT, BOYS,
PAUL WITH THOSE DROPOUTS.
- DROPOUTS?
HOW COME THEY
CALL THEM DROPOUTS?
- BECAUSE THEY DROPPED OUT OF
SCHOOL BEFORE THEY GRADUATED.
- OH, WHAT DO THEY DO NOW?
- NOTHING, JUST LOAF.
- YEAH? HOW OLD
DO YOU HAVE TO BE
TO BE A DROPOUT?
- YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH, MAYNARD.
- YEAH?
- BUT IF YOU DO, I WILL
PERSONALLY GRAB YOU
BY THAT BEARD AND DRAG
YOU RIGHT BACK IN AGAIN.
THAT'S THE WORST THING
THAN CAN HAPPEN TO A KID,
DROPPING OUT.
AND MAYBE IT SOUNDS
LIKE FUN TO YOU,
JUST LOAFING AND HANGING
AROUND STREET CORNERS,
BUT THAT DOESN'T GO ON FOR LONG.
PRETTY SOON IT COMES
TIME TO GO TO WORK.
- WORK?!
- YES, MAYNARD, WORK.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
- AND WHAT KIND OF
JOBS DO THESE KIDS GET?
THEY'RE NOT EQUIPPED
FOR ANY SKILLED
OR EVEN SEMI-SKILLED WORK.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
DOBIE, I NEED YOUR HELP.
- YOU NEED MY HELP?
- WITH PAUL MERRICK.
BOYS, HE'S ON THE VERGE OF
DROPPING OUT OUT SCHOOL,
AND PERSONALLY I CONSIDER
THAT A GREAT TRAGEDY.
- PERSONALLY? HOW?
- WELL, IT MAY COME AS SOMETHING
OF A SHOCK TO YOU, DOBIE,
BUT I DO TAKE A
PERSONAL INTEREST
IN MY STUDENTS, IN
EVERY ONE OF THEM.
- NO OFFENSE, BUT HOW COME
YOU'RE SO MEAN AND ROTTEN?
- NO OFFENSE, MAYNARD.
I AM MEAN AND ROTTEN BECAUSE
TRYING TO CRAM AN EDUCATION
INTO THE SKULLS OF
HEALTHY YOUNG ANIMALS
IS A JOB THAT
REQUIRES A FIRM HAND
AND NERVES OF STEEL.
IN FACT, THERE ARE
TIMES WHEN I THINK
I SHOULD COME TO CLASS
EQUIPPED WITH A KITCHEN CHAIR,
A PISTOL, AND A WHIP.
IT'S NOT AN EASY JOB,
MY YOUNG BARBARIANS,
BUT IT'S A JOB I ASKED FOR
AND I'VE NEVER REGRETTED
IT FOR A MOMENT,
BECAUSE IT'S A JOB
WITH MANY REWARDS,
AND I'M NOT SPEAKING
OF THAT PITTANCE
IN MY PAY ENVELOPE AT
THE END OF EACH MONTH.
I'M SPEAKING OF THE KIDS
WHO GO OUT OF MY CLASS
INTO THE WORLD AND MAKE
A NAME FOR THEMSELVES.
THOSE ARE MY TROPHIES, BOYS.
THOSE ARE MY
MEDALS, MY CITATIONS.
- WELL, MR. POMFRITT,
I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO
DO ABOUT PAUL MERRICK?
- DOBIE, I WANT YOU
TO PERSUADE HIM
TO STRAIGHTEN HIMSELF
OUT AND STAY IN SCHOOL.
- ME?
- HIM?
- WHY ME? WHY NOT HIS PARENTS?
- UNFORTUNATELY, PAUL
DOESN'T HAVE ANY PARENTS.
HE'S LIVING WITH
AN OLDER BROTHER
WHO DRIVES A TRUCK
AND IS PRACTICALLY
NEVER AT HOME.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PRINCIPAL,
THE SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST, YOU?
- WE ALL TRIED, DOBIE,
AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
- DOBIE, I'VE BEEN WATCHING
YOU EVER SINCE YOU CAME
TO CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL.
NOW, YOUR MARKS, I ADMIT,
WILL NEVER TAKE ANY PRIZES,
AND YOUR TALENTS,
LET'S BE FRANK,
THEY DEFY DETECTION.
HOWEVER, THERE IS
ONE THING YOU DO HAVE.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- THE ABILITY TO
INSPIRE CONFIDENCE.
EVERYBODY TRUSTS YOU, DOBIE.
- AH, SHUCKS, MR. POMFRITT.
- NOW, NO MODESTY. NO MODESTY.
YOU'VE GOT A KIND OF
GOODNESS THAT SHINES THROUGH.
- WELL, WHAT CAN I DO?
- JUST TALK TO PAUL.
BE HIS FRIEND.
TRY TO CONVINCE HIM
WHAT A MISTAKE HE'S MAKING,
BECAUSE HE IS, YOU KNOW.
PAUL'S A BRILLIANT
STUDENT, OR USED TO BE.
- OH, GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU SAY YOU'VE TRIED,
AND THE PRINCIPAL,
AND THE PSYCHOLOGIST,
AND YOU ALL STRUCK OUT?
- BUT THAT'S JUST
THE POINT, DOBIE,
PAUL DOESN'T TRUST ADULTS.
YOU ON THE OTHER
HAND, YOU, DOBIE GILLIS,
ARE A NATURAL BORN YOUTH LEADER.
- DOBIE'S A NATURAL
BORN YOUTH LEADER?
- NO.
- HE SURE IS.
- WELL, I'M A NATURAL
BORN YOUTH FOLLOWER.
- WAIT.
- COME ON, DOB.
WE'LL GO OVER TO PAUL'S...
- MAYNARD.
MR. POMFRITT, WAIT...
- PAUL? HEY PAUL?
HE'S NOT HERE, MAYNARD.
- OOH, I DON'T THINK NOBODY
BUT KIDNAPPERS LIVE HERE.
- KIDNAPPERS?
- YEAH, LIKE IN THE MOVIES.
WHEN THEY'RE, LIKE, HOLDING
SOMEBODY FOR RANSOM,
THEY ALWAYS GOT AN IRON BED
AND A LIGHT BULB HANGING DOWN.
- MAYNARD, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THIS IS PAUL'S ROOM, ALL RIGHT.
IT'S THE RIGHT ADDRESS.
GEE, IT IT ISN'T QUITE
WHAT I EXPECTED.
- IT AIN'T GOOD, GOOD BUDDY.
- NO.
- I'VE SEEN PRETTIER ROOMS
THAN THIS IN HORROR PICTURES.
- HE'S BEEN, LIKE,
LIKE SEWING THE HOLES
IN HIS SOCKS TOGETHER.
- GEE, I'M GETTING, LIKE, ALL
MISTY. LET'S GO, DOB, HUH?
- YEAH. NO WONDER PAUL
NEVER INVITED ANYBODY HERE.
- YEAH.
- GEE, WE BETTER
NOT LET HIM KNOW
THAT WE'VE BEEN
SNOOPING AROUND HERE.
IT'S LIKE, LIKE, OPENING
SOMEBODY ELSE'S MAIL.
HE WOULDN'T LIKE IT.
- HI PAUL, CAN WE SIT
WITH YOU? THANKS.
- YEAH. THANKS PAUL, YOU'RE
LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- YOU SURE ARE, PAUL.
YOU'RE QUITE A FELLOW,
AND AWFUL SMART TOO.
YES, SIR, PAUL. WE'RE SURE HAPPY
TO BE HAVING LUNCH WITH YOU.
- THAT'S RIGHT, PAUL.
- YEAH.
- WHY JUST THIS MORNING, I
SAID TO MY GOOD BUDDY, DOBIE,
WOULDN'T IT BE CRAZY TO
HAVE LUNCH WITH PAUL TODAY.
- YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT, PAUL.
THAT'S WHAT MAYNARD WAS SAYING.
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S ALL HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER.
- SURE, PAUL.
WHERE'S YOUR LUNCH?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHERE'S MY LUNCH?
- I MEAN, LIKE I DON'T SEE IT.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU
DON'T THINK I CAN AFFORD LUNCH?
- OH, SURE. SURE.
- SURE, PAUL, YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT. NOW, COME ON,
WHAT DO YOU GUYS REALLY WANT.
- WHAT? WELL...
- WELL...
- WHAT WE REALLY WANT...
- IS YOU TELL, HIM, DOBIE.
- YEAH IS SOME HELP
WITH OUR HOMEWORK.
YEAH. WE NEED SOME
HELP - YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU WANT ME
TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR HOMEWORK?
- YEAH, UH-HUH.
- I'M FLUNKING IN EVERYTHING.
- OH, YOU'RE JUST
IN KIND OF A SLUMP,
THAT'S ALL, PAUL. YOU'RE STILL
THE SMARTEST GUY IN CLASS.
I MEAN, A GUY LIKE YOU'S
GOT A GREAT FUTURE.
- OH, IT'LL BE A SMASH.
- YES.
- YEAH.
- DOCTOR, LAWYER.
- INDIAN CHIEF?
- GOOD THINKING, YEAH.
- PAUL GALECKBI GREAT
FUTURE PUSHING A BROOM.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT, DOCTOR, LAWYER.
FOR THAT YOU'VE GOT
TO GO TO COLLEGE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS?
- WELL, YOU COULD WORK
YOUR WAY THROUGH.
- WORK?!
- MAYNARD.
- WOULDN'T THAT BE JUST GREAT,
ME BUSTING TABLES IN
SOME FRATERNITY HOUSE.
ALL THOSE FAT, RICH SLOBS
LOOKING DOWN THEIR NOSES AT ME.
HEY, BOY, BOY, FILL
MY WATER GLASS.
BOY BOY, KETCHUP.
HEY, BOY, CAN'T YOU
MOVE ANY FASTER?
YEAH. IT'D BE JUST
GREAT. NO THANKS.
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LOOKING
DOWN THEIR NOSES AT ME
MY WHOLE LIFE. I'VE HAD IT.
- LISTEN, PAUL. YOU'VE
GOT TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL.
DON'T DROP OUT. YOU'RE
MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
- YEAH. WELL, THANKS
FOR THE GOOD ADVICE,
KINDLY OLD PHILOSOPHER.
- WE DIDN'T DO SO
GOOD, HUH, DOB?
- GOOD THINKING.
- YEAH. MAYBE WE SHOULD QUIT.
- QUIT? I DON'T KNOW THE
MEANING OF THE WORD QUIT.
- IT MEANS, LIKE, STOP, LIKE,
CUT OUT, LIKE, FLAKE OFF,
LIKE, PACK IT IN, LIKE,
RUN LIKE A BUNNY.
- OH, THAT QUIT.
- YEAH, LET'S.
- GOOD THINKING.
- GOOD THINKING.
- SO WE SEE THAT
IN HIS LATER POETRY,
AND PARTICULARLY IN HIS SONNETS,
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH...
[BELL RINGING]
- REACHED HIS FULL POWERS
AS AN IMPORTANT ENGLISH POET.
CLASS IS NOT DISMISSED.
[ALL GROANING]
- I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU AN
ASSIGNMENT FOR TOMORROW.
I WANT EACH OF YOU TO WRITE
ME A THEME OF 500 WORDS
TO BE CALLED "A TRIP
AROUND MY ROOM."
SIMPLY SET DOWN IN
CLEAR, CONCISE ENGLISH,
PREFERABLY
GRAMMATICAL WHAT YOU SEE
WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND YOUR ROOM.
FOR INSTANCE, WHAT
COLOR ARE THE WALLS,
HOW MANY WINDOWS THERE ARE,
WHAT KIND OF FURNITURE
THERE IS. THINGS LIKE THAT.
ALL RIGHT, MAYNARD, WHAT IS IT?
- MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
HOW CAN YOU, LIKE, TAKE A
TRIP AROUND YOUR ROOM?
I MEAN, YOUR ROOM IS
JUST A LITTLE TINY PLACE.
A TRIP IS WHEN
YOU GET ON A TRAIN
OR A PLANE AND GO SOMEWHERE.
- THANK YOU, MAYNARD.
IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF A TRIP.
- LIKE SAY IF YOU
WENT TO NEW ORLEANS
TO HEAR SOME NEW
ORLEANS JAZZ, YEAH.
- MAYNARD.
- OR WENT TO CHICAGO
TO HEAR SOME CHICAGO JAZZ.
- MAYNARD.
- OOH, OR WENT TO DULUTH
TO HEAR SOME DULUTH JAZZ.
- MAYNARD! ENOUGH.
JUST DESCRIBE YOUR ROOM.
ALL RIGHT, CLASS.
EXCEPT FOR MAYNARD
AND DOBIE, DISMISSED.
- WELL, HOW'D YOU MAKE
OUT WITH PAUL, BOYS?
- WELL WE DID GREAT. HE
TOLD US TO LEAVE HIM ALONE,
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT
WE'RE GOING TO DO,
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
- YEAH.
- YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO QUIT?
- THAT'S THE WORD, QUITTING.
- OH, WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE
I HAD ANY RIGHT TO ASK YOU
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- HONEST, MR. POMFRITT,
I DID EVERYTHING I COULD.
- SURE, DOBIE. IT'S
NOT YOUR PROBLEM
IF A BOY LIKE PAUL MERRICK
THROWS AWAY A FINE POTENTIAL
AND ENDS UP A BUM.
- REALLY, MR. POMFRITT,
I DID MY BEST.
- AFTER ALL, YOU'RE NOT YOUR
BROTHER'S KEEPER, ARE YOU?
IF YOU WANT TO QUIT,
THAT'S YOUR PRIVILEGE.
- DOB?
- HUH?
- I THINK YOU'RE BEING SNOWED.
- I THINK SO TOO.
- HE'S RIGHT.
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT, MR. POMFRITT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO? TELL ME.
- JUST TRY AGAIN.
JUST ONCE MORE. OKAY, DOBIE?
- BUT I HAVEN'T GOT A CHANCE.
- DOBIE, REMEMBER THIS.
IT MATTERS NOT IF
YOU WIN OR LOSE,
BUT HOW YOU RUN THE RACE.
AND IF AT FIRST
YOU DON'T SUCCEED,
TRY, TRY AGAIN.
AND A MAN WHO WON'T
BE BEAT CAN'T BE BEAT,
AND A MAN WHO CAN'T
BE BEAT WON'T BE BEAT.
- STUFF A COLD AND
STARVE A FEVER.
JUST HOLDING UP MY END
OF THE CONVERSATION.
- MAYNARD, OLD FRIEND,
I'VE THOUGHT LONG AND
HARD ABOUT PAUL'S PROBLEM.
AND IN MY VAST EXPERIENCE,
I'VE LEARNED THAT
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
CHERCHEZ LA FEMME.
- THAT'S LIKE BRILLIANT, DOB.
- YEAH. IT IS KIND OF, ISN'T IT?
- WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
- IT'S FRENCH, MAYNARD.
IT MEANS FIND THE WOMAN.
- OH, WE'RE GOING TO GO TO
FRANCE AND FIND HIM A WOMAN?
- NO, MAYNARD.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING?
- WE'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE.
- WELL, WHERE'S THE
WOMAN COMING FROM?
- RIGHT THERE.
- HI LINDA.
- HI DOBIE.
- THAT'S THE GIRL YOU'RE
GOING TO GET PAUL, HUH?
- GOOD THINKING, MAYNARD.
JUST LET ME DO THE TALKING.
- HI, LINDA, BABY.
IT IS I, YOUR EVER
LOVING CHATSWORTH.
- IN A MINUTE, CHATSWORTH.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, DOBIE?
- YOU, YES.
I HADN'T FIGURED ON CHATSWORTH.
- IT'S ALL RIGHT, GILLIS, BABY.
LINDA HAS NO SECRETS FROM ME.
- OH, HUSH UP, CHATSWORTH.
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED
TO TALK TO ME ABOUT, DOBIE?
- WELL, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU HAD A DATE FOR
THE DANCE SATURDAY?
- AS A MATTER OF FACT I
HAVEN'T. ARE YOU ASKING ME?
- WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
NOT FOR MYSELF, THAT IS.
- FOR SOMEBODY ELSE?
- WELL, YES.
- AND WHO MIGHT
THAT BE, JOHN ALDEN?
- JOHN ALDEN? IT
AIN'T JOHN ALDEN.
IT'S PAUL MERRICK?
- MERRICK? OH, WOW.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH PAUL MERRICK?
- ANY NUMBER OF THINGS,
BUT LET'S BEGIN WITH
THOSE SEEDY CHARACTERS
HE HANGS AROUND WITH.
- GUILT BY ASSOCIATION.
IT DOESN'T PROVE A THING.
LOOK AT THE SEEDY
CHARACTER I HANG AROUND WITH.
NO OFFENSE, MAYNARD.
- NO OFFENSE.
- THERE'S QUITE A
DIFFERENCE, DOBIE DOO.
I MEAN, THIS RAGAMUFFIN,
SHABBY THOUGH HE IS,
IS BASICALLY QUITE
A DECENT SORT.
PAUL'S FRIENDS ON THE OTHER
HAND ARE REALLY TOO IMPOSSIBLE.
- I'M AFRAID HE'S RIGHT, DOBIE.
SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO PAUL
IN THE LAST FEW
MONTHS. SOMETHING BAD.
- BUT YOU ALWAYS LIKED HIM.
- I WAS ALWAYS HIS FRIEND,
YES, AND I STILL WANT TO BE.
BUT YOU CAN'T BE
FRIENDS WITH A BOY
WHO KEEPS TURNING
HIS BACK ON YOU.
- BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE
YOU TO THE DANCE SATURDAY.
- HE SENT YOU TO ASK ME?
- NOT EXACTLY, BUT I
KNOW HE WANTS TO.
- SEE HERE, GILLIS.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS
I WAS GOING TO ASK
LINDA TO THE DANCE
RIGHT AFTER WE FINISHED
GOLFING THIS AFTERNOON.
- CHATSWORTH, YOU GOT
EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
DO YOU NEED LINDA TOO?
PAUL REALLY NEEDS
HER. HE'S IN TROUBLE.
- DOBIE, IF I THOUGHT
I COULD HELP PAUL,
YOU KNOW I'D SAY
YES IN A MINUTE.
BUT LET'S FACE IT,
HE'S TOO FAR GONE.
- OH, HONEST, LINDA,
HE'S A GREAT GUY A
HUNDRED PERCENT.
- HE WAS. IT'S GONE NOW.
- OH, NO, LINDA. NO.
- LOOK HERE, CHAPS.
THIS ARGUMENT IS
RATHER POINTLESS.
I MEAN, TOMORROW WE'LL KNOW
WHAT SORT OF A PERSON
PAUL IS, WON'T WE?
- TOMORROW?
- YES.
- HOW?
- YEAH, LIKE HOW?
- DON'T YOU REMEMBER
OUR ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT,
A TRIP AROUND MY ROOM.
- SO?
- SO, TOMORROW IN CLASS
WE'LL BE READING OUR THEMES,
AND I ALWAYS SAY, YOU
SHOW ME A MAN'S ROOM
AND I'LL TELL YOU WANT
KIND OF A MAN HE IS.
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
LUXURIOUS FURNISHINGS,
I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE KIND OF THING
HE KEEPS AROUND HIM,
GOOD BOOKS, GOOD
MUSIC, GOOD HOBBIES.
THAT'S WHERE A MAN REALLY
SHOWS HIS CHARACTER.
DON'T YOU AGREE, LINDA?
- YES. I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE.
- WELL, THEN WHY
STAND AROUND DEBATING
WHEN TOMORROW
WE'LL HAVE THE ANSWER.
- BYE BOYS.
- TA TA, CHAPS.
- DOB?
- YEAH.
- YOU REMEMBER PAUL'S ROOM?
- I SURE DO.
- HEY, DOB, KNOW
WHAT WE'RE LIKE?
- LIKE DEAD?
- GOOD THINKING.
- GOOD THINKING, YEAH.
- NOW, MAYNARD.
- MY ROOM, BY MAYNARD G. KREBS.
MY THEME IS KIND OF
SHORT, MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
ON ACCOUNT I LIVE
IN A SMALL ROOM.
- PROCEED, MAYNARD.
- I OPEN THE DOOR TO MY ROOM.
WHAT DO I SEE?
THE SWEATSHIRT I LEFT
ON THE FLOOR LAST NIGHT.
WHAT IS THE NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS THE SNEAKERS I LEFT
BESIDE THE SWEATSHIRT.
AND WHAT IS THE
NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS THE SOCKS I LEFT
BESIDE THE SNEAKERS.
AND WHAT IS THE
NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS MY RECORDS, SINGLES,
ALBUMS, 33S, 45S,
78s, HI-FI, LOW-FI STEREO,
HUNDREDS AND
THOUSANDS OF RECORDS,
PILES AND STACKS
AND HEAPS OF RECORDS.
AND WHAT IS THE
NEXT THING I SEE?
IT IS MY MOTHER STANDING
IN THE DOOR SAYING,
MAYNARD, CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM
OR YOUR FATHER WILL PUT
YOU IN MANUAL TRAINING SCHOOL.
LIKE, THANK YOU.
- IT SOUNDS A SIMPLE HOVEL,
MAYNARD, BUT YOUR OWN.
- LIKE, TRUE.
- PAUL MERRICK.
- A TRIP AROUND MY ROOM.
WHEN YOU COME INTO MY ROOM,
THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE
HOW LIGHT EVERYTHING IS.
THE WALLS AND THE
CEILING ARE LIGHT,
AND SOMETIMES WHEN THE SUN
COMES IN THROUGH THE BIG WINDOWS
AT THE SIDES,
IT'S SO BRIGHT YOU ALMOST
HAVE TO SQUINT UP YOUR EYES
TO KEEP OUT THE LIGHT.
OVER MY BED ON WALL ARE
TWO CROSSED TENNIS RACQUETS,
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE ARE
TWO CROSSED DUELING SWORDS.
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF MY ROOM IS BIG DESK
WHERE I KEEP MY MICROSCOPE.
IT GOES UP TO 1200 POWER,
HAS THREE OBJECTIVE
LENS TURRETS,
HIGHLY POLISHED CONCAVE
MIRRORS AND OPTICAL CONDENSERS,
AND IT KEPT IN A MAHOGANY
STAINED HARDWOOD STORAGE CASE.
IN THE DRAWERS OF MY DESK
I KEEP MY STAMP COLLECTION
AND MY COIN COLLECTION
AND MY ROCK SPECIMENS.
I'VE GOT PRETTY
INTERESTING STAMPS TOO.
FOR INSTANCE, I'VE GOT AN UNUSED
HAWAIIAN ISLANDS FIVE CENT BLUE
FROM 1840.
THAT'S ONE OF THE RAREST
KIND OF STAMPS EVER PRINTED.
NEXT TO THE DESK AS YOU GO
AROUND MY ROOM IS A HI-FI SET
AND A PRETTY BIG PHONOGRAPH,
SO I CAN HEAR ALL THE
GOOD MUSIC I WANT, ANYTIME.
NEXT IS SORT OF WORK BENCH
WHERE I KEEP ALL MY
CHEMISTRY APPARATUS
WHERE I CAN DO ALL
KINDS OF EXPERIMENTS.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE HAVE MADE
VERY IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES
WITH EQUIPMENT
JUST AS BASIC AS MINE.
BUT THE BEST THING IN MY
ROOM IS MY COLLECTION OF BOOKS,
BECAUSE...
I FOUND THAT A MAN CAN
TRAVEL TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
WHILE SITTING IN AN ARM CHAIR
IF HE HAS PLENTY OF GOOD BOOKS.
I DON'T' WANT TO BRAG, BUT...
IT'S SUCH A GOOD ROOM
THAT YOU COULDN'T
WANT A BETTER ONE.
- CONGRATULATIONS, PAUL.
THAT WAS A FINE ESSAY,
AND A FINE ROOM TOO.
JUST THE SORT OF ROOM
I'D EXPECT YOU TO HAVE.
- IT'S OKAY.
- PAUL?
- YEAH.
- I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I LIKED YOUR THEME.
YOUR ROOM SOUNDS
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.
- WHAT'D YOU THINK I LIVED
IN, SOME KIND OF DUMP?
- PAUL MERRICK,
YOU GET THAT CHIP
OFF YOUR SHOULDER
AND LISTEN TO ME.
I SAID I LIKED YOUR THEME.
I SAID I LIKED YOUR ROOM.
NOW, A BOY WHO LIVES
IN A ROOM LIKE THAT
HAS JUST GOT TO
BE GOOD DEEP DOWN,
SO MY ANSWER'S YES.
I WILL GO TO THE DANCE
WITH YOU SATURDAY NIGHT.
- DANCE SATURDAY NIGHT? WHAT...
- DON'T YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME?
- YEAH. BUT...
- OKAY. IT'S A DATE.
OKAY?
- OKAY.
- OH, AND IF YOU WANT
TO SEE ME ANY OTHER TIME,
WHY, I'M AVAILABLE.
OH, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE
FOR A DANCE OR A
PARTY OR ANYTHING.
I MEAN, IF YOU JUST WANT
TO WALK AND TALK, CALL ME.
- LINDA, I...
- BECAUSE YOU'RE
A VERY FINE BOY,
AND A SMART BOY, AND
IT'D BE A CRYING SHAME
IF YOU WERE TO
DROP OUT OF SCHOOL.
- YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T
EVEN THINK YOU...
- YOU DIDN'T THINK I CARED?
- UNH-UH.
- OF COURSE I DO, PAUL.
LOTS OF PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU.
I MEAN, YOU'RE A VERY
IMPORTANT HUMAN BEING,
EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO.
- AIN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL.
DON'T IT JUST BUST YOU
ALL UP INSIDE, CASEY?
- YEAH. HAND ME MY
LACE HANDKERCHIEF,
I THINK I'M GOING TO CRY.
- PAUL, SEND THOSE TWO AWAY,
AND I MEAN AWAY FOR GOOD.
- SURE, PAUL, DO WHAT
THE RICH LADY SAYS.
- YEAH. AND IF
YOU'RE VERY POLITE,
MAYBE SHE'LL LET YOU COME AROUND
THE BACK DOOR FOR A HANDOUT.
- PAUL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
- COME ON, CASEY,
WE DON'T WANT NO
SOCIAL CLIMBERS.
- WAIT.
- PAUL.
- YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
- YES, SIR, LINDA.
YOU SURE CAN TELL ABOUT A MAN
FROM THE KIND OF
ROOM HE LIVES IN.
- OH, SHUT UP.
- SHUT UP?
LINDA LINDA, I'M
TALKING ABOUT PAUL.
YOU HEARD HIS THEME.
- DON'T EVER MENTION
HIS NAME TO ME AGAIN.
- BUT HE'S A WONDERFUL GUY.
- HE'S A BUM AND A LOAFER,
AND I THINK ALL THAT
STUFF ABOUT HIS ROOM
IS JUST A BIG LIE.
I THINK HIS ROOM
IS JUST LIKE HE IS,
CRUMMY AND ROTTEN.
- OH, YOU'RE WRONG.
- ALL RIGHT.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SHOW ME PAUL'S ROOM?
- WELL...
- I THOUGHT SO.
- ALL RIGHT. I'LL
SHOW YOU HIS ROOM.
- GOOD BUDDY GOOD
BUDDY, HAVEN'T YOU, LIKE,
FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, GOOD BUDDY?
- WELL, NO. NO. TOMORROW
AFTERNOON OKAY, LINDA?
- GOOD BUDDY...
- TOMORROW AFTERNOON
WILL BE JUST FINE.
- GOOD. GOOD.
- YOU GOT A PLAN, DOB?
LIKE, PLEASE TELL ME YOU
GOT A PLAN, LIKE, PLEASE?
- I GOT A PLAN.
- GILLIS, BABY, ABOUT YOUR PLAN,
YOU'RE DEFINITELY SICK.
I MEAN, YOU NEED ATTENTION.
- CHATSWORTH, YOU GOTTA DO IT.
- LOOK, PAUL TOLD THIS
GREAT WHOPPING LIE
ABOUT HIS ROOM,
AND YOU WANT ME TO
MAKE IT ALL COME TRUE.
YOU WANT ME TO SUPPLY THE
THINGS HE SAID HE HAD IN HIS ROOM.
- WELL, YOU'VE GOT
THEM, HAVEN'T YOU?
- RIDICULOUS QUESTION.
OF COURSE I'VE GOT THEM.
- AND I'LL GET MY FATHER'S
TRUCK TO HAUL THEM OVER,
AND MAYNARD WILL KEEP
PAUL AWAY FROM THE ROOM.
- DOBIE DOO, MAY I REMIND
YOU THAT I HAVE MORE
THAN A CASUAL INTEREST IN LINDA,
AND YOU'RE ASKING ME
TO HELP PAUL
MERRICK STEAL MY GIRL.
EGAD, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
- CHATSWORTH, IF YOU
WERE JUST ANYBODY,
I WOULDN'T ASK,
BUT YOU'RE
CHATSWORTH OSBORN, JR.
WHY YOU'VE GOT FAMILY AND
ANCESTORS AND TRADITION.
WHY YOU'VE GOT A COAT OF
ARMS WITH A MOTTO IN LATIN.
[SPEAKING LATIN]
THAT MUST MEAN SOMETHING.
- AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT
MEANS NEVER DIP INTO CAPITAL.
- OH.
- HOWEVER,
YOU HAVE STRUCK A
RESPONSIVE CHORD.
THE GALLANTRY OF IT
IS RATHER ME, ISN'T IT?
- TO THE T.
- GREATER LOVE HATH
NO MAN AND ALL THAT.
IT WOULD BE A GRAND
GESTURE, WOULDN'T IT?
- YES. AND SO LIKE YOU.
- GILLIS?
I'LL DO IT.
- CHATSWORTH, YOU'RE
LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- OH, RATHER MORE THAN THAT.
- WELL, LINDA?
- OH, DOBIE.
- HI FI-SET.
- RECORDS.
- BUTTERFLY COLLECTION.
- BOOKS.
- TENNIS RACQUETS.
- DUELING SWORDS.
- AND A MICROSCOPE.
- AND A STAMP COLLECTION, ROCKS.
- IT'S EXACTLY THE
WAY HE DESCRIBED IT.
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW?
- I SAY I MISJUDGED
PAUL, AND I'M SORRY.
- YEAH. YOU KNOW, LINDA,
IF ANYBODY COULD TALK HIM
OUT OF QUITTING SCHOOL, IT'S YOU.
- DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I KNOW IT LINDA.
HE'S APE FOR YOU.
HE'S JUST TOO SHY TO TELL YOU.
CAN'T YOU PERSUADE
HIM TO STAY IN SCHOOL?
- MAYBE I CAN.
YES. I KNOW I CAN.
- OH, GOOD.
- HEY, DOB.
- MAYNARD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE KEEPING PAUL AWAY.
- I, LIKE, GOOFED.
- WHERE'S PAUL?
- DOES THAT ANSWER
YOUR QUESTION?
- WHERE DID ALL THIS
STUFF COME FROM?
WHOSE IS IT?
- WELL, ISN'T IT YOURS?
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHERE WOULD I GET ENOUGH
MONEY TO BUY STUFF LIKE THIS?
- NICE WORK, DOBIE.
FIRST PAUL TELLS ME A BIG LIE,
AND THEN YOU HELP HIM
OUT WITH ANOTHER BIG LIE.
EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING HOME.
- NOW, JUST A MINUTE.
JUST A DARN MINUTE.
- LET ME OUT.
- OKAY. I'M A LIAR.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- I BORROWED THIS STUFF
FROM CHATSWORTH - CHATSWORTH?
AND PUT IT IN HERE. BUT
PAUL DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
- OH.
- AND PAUL LIED TOO,
WHEN HE WROTE THAT
THEME ABOUT HIS ROOM.
HE WAS MAKING IT UP, ALL OF IT.
- I THOUGHT IT.
- BUT WHY?
WHY DID HE MAKE
UP A ROOM LIKE THIS?
BECAUSE IT'S THE KIND
OF ROOM HE'D LIKE TO HAVE.
LOOK AT IT. MICROSCOPE,
STAMP COLLECTION, MUSIC BOOKS.
IS THE KIND OF ROOM A
BUM WOULD DREAM UP?
- WELL...
- NO. NO. NO.
THIS IS THE ROOM OF A DECENT,
INTELLIGENT, AMBITIOUS KID,
AND THAT'S WHAT PAUL IS,
DECENT, INTELLIGENT, AMBITIOUS.
AND IF YOU'RE NOT INTELLIGENT
ENOUGH TO SEE THAT,
THEN YOU'RE NOT
INTELLIGENT ENOUGH
FOR AN INTELLIGENT
GUY LIKE PAUL.
- I'M GETTING PRETTY MISTY, DOB.
- PAUL, IS THIS REALLY
THE KIND OF ROOM
YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE?
- ARE YOU KIDDING? WHO WOULDN'T?
- THOSE TWO CREEPY
FRIENDS OF YOURS WOULDN'T,
THAT'S WHO WOULDN'T.
- PAUL WILL YOU STOP
HANGING AROUND
WITH THOSE TWO BOYS
AND STAY IN SCHOOL?
- YEAH.
- WHAT FOR?
- WELL, FOR ONE THING
SO THAT YOU AND I
CAN BE TOGETHER.
- YEAH. THAT'S WHAT FOR.
- DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT, LINDA?
- WELL, OF COURSE I DO.
AND FOR ANOTHER THING,
SO THAT YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE
AND AMOUNT TO SOMETHING.
YOU'VE GOT WHAT IT
TAKES PAUL, I KNOW IT.
- WHAT DO YOU SAY, PAUL?
- WHAT CAN I DO?
I'M OUTNUMBERED.
- THANKS, DOBIE.
- MAYNARD?
- YEAH, GOOD BUDDY?
- I'M GETTING PRETTY MISTY TOO.
- THESE THREE MAGICAL
LINES FROM "KUBLA KHAN",
ARE CONSIDERED AMONG
THE MOST INSPIRED LYRICS
IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
AND SO WE TAKE OUR LEAVE
OF SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE,
AND TURN ONCE AGAIN
TO MY FAVORITE POET,
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
[BELL RINGING]
- CLASS, EXCEPT FOR
MAYNARD G. KREBS
AND DOBIE GILLIS, DISMISSED.
BOYS, CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU DID A WONDERFUL
JOB ON PAUL MERRICK.
- THANK YOU, MR. POMFRITT.
- I ONLY WISH THERE
WAS SOMETHING
I COULD DO IN RETURN.
- TELL HIM, MAYNARD. TELL HIM.
- WELL, AS MATTER OF FACT...
- YES?
- YOU TELL HIM, DOB.
- WELL, MR. POMFRITT,
DO YOU REMEMBER THE MARK
MAYNARD GOT ON HIS LAST TEST?
- HOW CAN I FORGET? A MINUS 40.
MAYNARD, YOU MISSED
FOUR QUESTIONS
THAT WEREN'T EVEN ON THE TEST.
- WELL, MAYNARD WAS
WONDERING, MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
IF YOU COULD RAISE HIS
MARK TO AN EVEN ZERO.
- I THINK THAT CAN BE ARRANGED.
- MR. POMFRITT, SIR,
YOU'RE, LIKE, A
REAL HUMAN BEING.
- YEAH. YEAH. HE IS KIND
OF LIKE A REAL HUMAN BEING.
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪