The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 1, Episode 7 - Greater Love Hath No Man - full transcript

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪

♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪

♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪

♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪



♪ NO MATTER ♪

♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪

♪ DOBIE! ♪

- OKAY. OKAY.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY.

DOBIE GILLIS IS IN
LOVE AGAIN, RIGHT?

WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.

I'M NOT IN LOVE AGAIN,
I'M IN LOVE AT LAST.

I BID FAREWELL TO
THE AIMLESS DAYS

OF FLITTING FROM
ONE GIRL TO ANOTHER

LIKE A BEE BUZZING
FROM FLOWER TO FLOWER.

FROM NOW ON, ONLY ONE
GIRL'S GOING TO GET STUNG,

AND WHAT A GIRL SHE IS.

PEARL ARNOLD. DEAR, SWEET PEARL.



THE VERY THOUGHT
OF HER FILLS MY HEART

WITH SWEET TENDER MEMORIES.

SHE MAKES ME THINK
OF LOVELY SOFT MUSIC.

- [ SCATTING ]

- MAYNARD! MAYNARD,
GEE, YOU LOOK GREAT.

WELL, BUT YOU CAN'T BE HERE,

YOU'RE IN THE ARMY.

- NO, GOOD BUDDY.
THEY KIND OF LET ME GO.

- YOU MEAN A FURLOUGH?

- NO. THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE IT.

- A DISCHARGE?

- THAT WAS IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

- WHAT KIND OF DISCHARGE?

- THEY CALLED IT A
HARDSHIP DISCHARGE.

- WHOSE HARDSHIP? YOURS?

YOUR PARENTS?

- NO, THE ARMY'S.

- WELL, ARE YOU GOING BACK?

- I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

THEY SAID, LIKE, DON'T
CALL US, WE'LL CALL YOU.

- IT'S GOOD TO HAVE
YOU BACK, MAYNARD.

YOU LOOK GREAT, WONDERFUL.

- YEAH. YOU LOOK SICK.

- NO. I'M FINE.

IT'S JUST THAT,
WELL, I'M IN LOVE.

- YEAH, I WAS RIGHT.

- I CAN'T EXPECT
YOU TO UNDERSTAND,

NOT UNTIL YOU'VE
BEEN IN LOVE YOURSELF.

- OH, NO. YOU DON'T CATCH
ME TRAVELING THAT ROUTE.

- JUST WAIT.

YOUR FINGERS WILL CARESS HERS,

THE WORLD WILL STAND STILL,

YOU'LL HEAR GENTLE MUSIC,

LIKE AN ANGEL STRUMMING
A HEAVENLY HARP.

LISTEN.

[ HARP MUSIC ]

[ HARP MUSIC ]

- OH, YOU GOT IT BAD.
I DON'T HEAR NOTHING.

HEY, WHAT SAY WE ANKLE IT
DOWN TO THE RECORD STORE

FOR SOME PLATTERS
WITH A REAL BEAT, HUH?

- NOT ME, THANKS.

I'VE GOT A DATE WITH HER.

- GEE, I HOPE YOU'RE
BETTER REAL SOON.

- OH, I'M SORRY, IT
WAS ALL MY FAULT.

- OH, IT'S BROKEN.
- YOUR ANKLE?

- NO, MY RADIO. I
GOT TWO ANKLES.

- PLEASE, CAN I HAVE
IT FIXED FOR YOU?

- AND IT PLAYED
REAL COOL UNTIL...

[ HARP MUSIC ]

- YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE NOT HURT?

YOU'RE VERY SWEET NOT TO
BE ANGRY WITH ME ABOUT THIS.

YOU'RE VERY NICE TO BE
SO VERY NICE ABOUT THIS.

DOBIE.

- PEARL, MY SWEET.

- DOBIE, MY LOVE.

- YEAH. I PICKED
THESE JUST FOR YOU.

- OH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

- HERBERT, YOU
JUST DON'T GIVE DOBIE

A CHANCE TO PROVE HIMSELF.

HE'S REALLY A FINE BOY.

- A BOY WHAT?

WINNIE, HE DOESN'T KNOW THE
MEANING OF THE WORD WORK.

MONEY, ALLOWANCE, SPENDING,

THESE WORDS HE KNOWS.

SO WHY CAN'T HE UNDERSTAND WORK?

- HE'S TOO BUSY
DISCOVERING LIFE.

PUT YOURSELF IN HIS
PLACE. HE'S YOUNG.

- LET HIM PUT HIMSELF
IN MY PLACE. I'M OLD.

IS IT SO WRONG FOR ME

TO WANT MY SON TO
PITCH IN AND HELP?

MY BACK ACHES. MY
ARCHES ARE COLLAPSING.

- WHY HERBERT, YOU'RE NOT OLD.

YOU'RE JUST AS
STRONG AND HANDSOME

AS THE DAY WE WERE MARRIED.

- BALONEY.
- WHAT?

- BOLOGNA, MRS. SCHULTZ'S ORDER.
- OH.

- PARDON ME, JULIET,

BUT ROMEO MUST
AWAY TO THE FREEZER

AND GRIND SOME MEAT.

PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW

BUT MRS. SCHULTZ'S GROUND
ROUND WON'T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW.

- HI MOM.

- OH, HELLO DEAR.
- BOY, WHAT A DAY.

I HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED
THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE.

- WELL, THAT'S A VERY
INTERESTING DISCOVERY, DEAR.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

- PEARL ARNOLD. AND I HAVE
A DATE WITH HER TONIGHT.

SAY, MOM, YOU THINK
DAD WILL LET ME GO OUT?

HE'S BEEN DOING A
LOT OF YELLING LATELY.

- OH, THAT'S JUST AN ACT.

HE REALLY LOVES YOU VERY MUCH.

JUST PROVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM.

MAYBE IF YOU WERE A LITTLE
MORE HELPFUL AROUND THE STORE.

- WELL, I AM HELPFUL.

I DO EVERYTHING HE TELLS ME,

LIKE ALWAYS SAYING THANK
YOU TO THE CUSTOMERS,

AND CLOSING THE FREEZER
DOOR IF I FIND IT OPEN.

- THAT'S FINE, DEAR. YOUR
FATHER WILL BE VERY...

- DOBIE, THAT WAS YOU THAT
CLOSED THE FREEZER DOOR?

- IT SURE WAS. HE'LL
LIKE THAT, HUH?

MOM...

BYE, MOM.

- I G-G-GOTTA KILL THAT BOY.

I JUST G-GOTTA.

- THE WORST PART
IS, HE WON'T LET ME

GO OUT ON A DATE
FOR A WHOLE MONTH.

I CAN'T SEE HER TONIGHT.

- HEY, WHY DON'T YOU,
LIKE, JUST SNEAK OUT?

- NO. MY DAD'S A CINCH

TO STICK HIS HEAD IN THERE
TO MAKE SURE I'M IN BED.

- LOOKS LIKE DOOMSVILLE
FOR YOU AND THE CHICK.

- YEAH. WAIT, MAYBE I
COULD DIG UP SOMEBODY

TO TAKE MY PLACE
UNDER THE COVERS.

- CRAZY. ONE BUNCH OF LUMPS

LOOKS LIKE ANY
OTHER BUNCH OF LUMPS.

- YEAH. HE'D NEVER
KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

- MAN, WE ARE WINGING.
- YEAH. BE THERE BY 8:30.

- ME? OH, DADDY-O, I CAN'T...

- UNDER THE COVERS YOU'LL LOOK
LIKE ANY OTHER BUNCH OF LUMPS.

- SURE, BUT I-I-I...
- YOU WHAT, PAL?

- I-I, LIKE, SHOOT OPEN
MY MOUTH TOO MUCH.

- HI, MAYNARD. WHAT'S THAT?
- SNACKS.

THE ONLY THING I'VE EATEN
SINCE LUNCH WAS DINNER.

- I WISH I COULD SHOW
MY APPRECIATION

FOR WHAT YOU'RE
DOING FOR ME TONIGHT.

- YEAH, I KNOW A WAY.
- YEAH?

- ASK YOUR MOTHER FOR
SOME MUSTARD, I FORGOT MINE.

- I CAN'T DO THAT. THEY'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU'RE HERE.

- GOOD THING I BROUGHT
MY EXTRA KETCHUP.

- JUST MAKE SURE YOU'RE IN
BED IN CASE MY FATHER COMES IN.

- WHY WAIT?

- WELL, I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT, WINNIE.

- I KNOW I'M RIGHT. IF YOU
JUST SIT DOWN WITH DOBIE

AND HAVE A GOOD MAN-TO-MAN TALK,

I'M SURE EVERYTHING WILL
BE CLEARED UP IN A JIFFY.

LET THE BOY KNOW THAT YOU
CARE ABOUT HIS PROBLEMS.

MAKE HIM FEEL THAT
YOU'RE HIS FRIEND.

- ALL RIGHT, WINNIE.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL DO IT.

- WHEN?
- ONE OF THESE DAYS.

- WHICH ONE?

- THIS ONE.

DOBIE? ARE YOU UP?

SON?

I THOUGHT THIS
MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME

FOR YOU AND I TO HAVE A
LITTLE MAN-TO-MAN TALK.

I WANT YOU TO FEEL
FREE TO COME TO ME

IF ANYTHING IS WRONG.

IF YOU'RE IN TROUBLE,
JUST SAY THE WORD

AND I'LL BE MORE
THAN HAPPY TO HELP.

YOU BETTER HAVE
THE SCHOOL DOCTOR

LOOK INTO THIS NERVOUS
CONDITION OF YOURS.

AFTER ALL, IT MAY BE
THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.

YOU KNOW, THAT
SPOOKY CLOWN, MAYNARD,

WOULD GIVE ANYBODY THE CREEPS.

WELL, I FEEL OUR LITTLE
TALK HAS BEEN VERY HELPFUL.

LET'S SHAKE ON US HAVING
A BETTER UNDERSTANDING

BETWEEN US IN THE FUTURE, HUH?

NO ONE CAN SAY I DIDN'T TRY.

- MAYNARD? MAYNARD, WAKE UP.

- MAN, I DIDN'T GET ANY
SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT.

YOU KEPT MOANING AND
YELLING, PEARL, PEARL.

- YEAH. IT WAS
ONLY THE GREATEST.

- DID YOUR FATHER SAY
ANYTHING THIS MORNING?

- NOT A WORD. HE JUST SAT THERE

AT THE BREAKFAST
TABLE STARING AT ME

AND LICKING HIS HAND.

- PARENTS. WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA DO?

- YEAH. PAL, NOW IT'S MY TURN

TO DO SOMETHING
FOR YOU. JUST NAME IT.

- WELL, I... NO, WHAT'S THE USE?

- NO. GO ON, TELL ME.

- YOU SEE, I... NO. SHE
WOULDN'T GO FOR ME ANYHOW.

- SHE? MAYNARD, YOU MET A GIRL.

- YEAH, HARPSVILLE.
- YEAH. HARPSVILLE.

- PLINK, PLINK, PLINK,
PLINK, PLINK, PLINK, PLINK.

- YEAH, I TOLD YOU.

HAVE YOU TAKEN HER OUT YET?

- NO. AND I WAS KIND OF FIGURING

MAYBE YOU... NO, IT
WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD.

- YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU
HOW TO MAKE A BIG HIT WITH HER?

- THAT'S THE NOTION I
WAS KICKING AROUND

BUT, NO, EVEN THAT
WOULDN'T HELP.

- SURE IT WOULD. I'LL COACH YOU.

I'LL TEACH YOU ALL
THE TRICKS I KNOW

ABOUT THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES.

- NEGATIVE. CHICKS LIKE
TO BE SWEET-TALKED,

AND I'M NOT BUILT FOR THAT
KIND OF ACTION. LET'S DROP IT.

- NO. I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT
TO SAY AND HOW TO SAY IT.

- I'D BE, LIKE, BATTING
OUT OF MY LEAGUE.

- OH, NO. NOT WITH YOUR CYRANO
DE BERGERAC AT YOUR SIDE.

- CYRANO DE WHOGERAC?

- DE BERGERAC.

THE FRENCHMAN WE STUDIED
ABOUT IN LITERATURE CLASS

WITH THE LONG NOSE.

HE TAUGHT HIS FRIEND

HOW TO MAKE LOVE TO A
GIRL AND IT WORKED LIKE THAT.

- YEAH. I MUST HAVE
SLEPT THAT SEMESTER.

- HIS FRIEND WAS
KIND OF SLOW, SEE?

NOTHING PERSONAL, MAYNARD.

AND CYRANO COACHED
HIM FROM THE SIDELINES.

HE TOLD HIM ALL THE
ROMANTIC THINGS TO SAY

THAT LET HIM IN ON THE SECRETS
OF HIGH-CLASS WOO PITCHING.

MADE A REAL LOVER
OUT OF A WASHOUT.

HE... NOTHING PERSONAL, MAYNARD.

- YOU THINK I COULD DO IT?

- ABSOLUTELY.

- YEAH. MAYBE SHE...
OH, NAW, I'D FLUB IT.

- OH, NOT IF I HELP YOU.

WE'LL HAVE THAT POOR
GIRL APE OVER YOU.

- YEAH?
- YEAH.

YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT HER OFF.

- MAN. NO, WHY KID MYSELF.

I'M JUST NOT THE ROMANTIC TYPE.

- NOW, MAYNARD, DON'T
ARGUE. I'M TAKING OVER.

NOW, WHERE DO WE MAKE
CONTACT WITH OUR TARGET?

- SHE GOES TO THE MALT
SHOP EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL.

- WE'LL RENDEZVOUS
THERE AT H HOUR.

MAYNARD, OLD BOY, FOR
EVERY MAN THERE'S A WOMAN,

AND WE'RE FINALLY
GOING TO MAKE YOURS

STEP UP AND FACE THE MUSIC.

- NOTHING PERSONAL?

- YEAH.
- YEAH.

- TWO HOT FUDGE SUNDAES.

- YEAH, MAKE MINE A
DOUBLE. I GOT THE JUMPS.

DOBIE, LET'S SAY WE LIKE CUT OUT
AND FORGET THIS WHOLE DEAL, HUH?

THE CHICK'S NOT GOING
TO HAVE EYES FOR ME.

- NOW, THINK POSITIVE
THOUGHTS, MAYNARD.

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

- I JUST HOPE...
[ HARP MUSIC ]

- MAYNARD, WHAT'S THE
MATTER? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU MEAN THAT'S HER?

- DOBE?

PAL?

CYRANO?

- THEY CALL HIM THE THINKER.

HE'S KIND OF AN
INSPIRATION TO ME,

WHICH IS WHY I
COME HERE TO THINK

WHENEVER I HAVE A
PROBLEM, LIKE NOW.

YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN
DOING A LOT OF THINKING

ABOUT ME AND PEARL AND MAYNARD,

AND I'VE REACHED AN
IMPORTANT DECISION.

I'M GOING TO GIVE UP THINKING.

I MEAN, WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO?

HERE I'VE BEEN THINKING
MY HEAD DOWN TO THE BONE

FOR AN HOUR NOW,

AND I STILL CAN'T DECIDE
BETWEEN LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.

IT'S LIKE THAT FELLOW CYRANO
I WAS TELLING MAYNARD ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, THE ROMANTIC
FRENCHMAN WITH THE LONG NOSE.

HE PROMISED TO HELP
HIS BACKWARD FRIEND

MAKE TIME WITH A GIRL,

AND THEN IT TURNS OUT

THAT HE'S IN LOVE
WITH THE SAME GIRL.

BUT WHAT CAN HE
DO? HE'S SLICK, SUAVE,

AND HE'S A SMASH WITH THE WOMEN,

BUT HE'S ALSO VERY
LOYAL AND UNSELFISH.

A PRINCE OF A FELLOW.

KIND OF LIKE, WELL,
LET'S FACE IT, ME.

DEAR FRIEND.

- DEAR FRIEND.

CYRANO, WHEN THE
FAIR PEARL ARRIVES,

YOU MUST, LIKE, SHOW ME HOW
TO WOO HER, ELSE I AM LOST.

- HAVE NO FEAR, DEAR FRIEND.

I AM AT THY SIDE.
AH, THE LADY COMETH.

- WE ARE ALONE.
SPEAK TO ME OF LOVE.

- DEAR ONE, MY THOUGHTS
OF YOU, LIKE, SOAR

AS IF ON THE WINGS OF A DOVE.

- OH, YES. SPEAK
MORE, I PRAY YOU.

- LOVELY PEARL,

YOUR NAME IS TO MY HEART AS
THE GOLDEN PEALING OF A BELL.

- YES, YES. GO ON.

- YOUR GRACE IS SHEER MUSIC,
A HYMN TO, LIKE, ALL BEAUTY.

- YES. YES.

- TO ME, YOUR VOICE
IS A CHEESY GARGLING

OF A CROWING SCREAM.

THE EASY FLOWING
OF A GURGLING STREAM.

- YOU HAVE MADE ME
THE HAPPIEST OF WOMEN.

LET US AWAY TO THE ARBOR.

- YES. IT IS A FAR,
FAR BETTER THING I DO

THAN I HAVE EVER DONE.

SOMEHOW I'VE GOT
TO GET RID OF PEARL,

FOR MAYNARD. FOR MY BUDDY.

- DOBIE, MY OWN.

- PEARL...

PEARL, PLEASE, PLEASE
RESTRAIN YOURSELF.

- SOMETHING'S THE MATTER.
- WELL, YEAH.

- YOU DON'T LIKE MY NEW HAIRDO.

OH, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
LET MY SISTER FOOL WITH IT.

SHE'S BEEN PRACTICING
ON THE POODLE.

- OH, YOUR HAIR,
IT'S-IT'S MOONLIGHT.

- MY PERFUME IS TOO STRONG?

- OH, NO. YOUR
PERFUME, IT'S AMBROSIA.

- MY LIPSTICK'S THE WRONG COLOR.

- YOUR LIPS, ROSES.

- MOONLIGHT, AMBROSIA, ROSES?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?

- WELL, I...
- YES, DOLL?

- YOU'RE JUST NOT MY TYPE.

- YOU'RE KIDDING.
- LOVE LIKE OURS,

IT BURNS BRIGHTLY FOR
AN INSTANT, THEN POOF.

- POOF?
- POOF.

- YOU SANG A DIFFERENT
TUNE LAST NIGHT.

- YES, BUT I'VE
MATURED SINCE THEN.

YOU SEE, I BELONG TO ALL GIRLS.

I CAN'T BE STUCK WITH ONE.
- STUCK?

- I CANNOT BE
SHACKLED TO ONE NEST.

I MUST BE FREE TO
FLY WITH THE WIND.

- WELL, FLAP OFF, BUZZARD.

NOBODY'S STUCK WITH ME.

- BUT PLEASE, PEARL, NO TEARS.

SOMEDAY, SOMEWHERE, YOU'LL
FIND THE SOMEONE FOR YOU.

- OH, WHO STRETCHES
YOUR HATS FOR YOU, BUSTER?

GEE, WHAT A KOOKY CHARACTER.

- YES. IT IS A FAR,
FAR BETTER THING I DO

THAN I HAVE EVER DONE.

- MR. GILLIS,

I WAS IN THE MALT
SHOP WITH DOBIE,

BUT HE, LIKE, UP AND
FADED TO NOWHERESVILLE.

- MY MY.
- DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?

- NOPE.

MAYBE HE'LL STAY THERE, HUH?

- YOU SURE YOU DON'T KNOW?
- YEAH.

- POSITIVE?
- POSITIVE.

- ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY, DEFINITELY?

- OKAY. OKAY. I
KNOW WHERE HE IS.

HE JUST LEFT FOR THE
NORTH POLE ON A DOG SLED

PULLED BY THREE
CHIHUAHUAS AND A CHIPMUNK.

- DID HE SAY WHEN HE'D BE BACK?

DOBE, I COULDN'T FIGURE
WHERE YOU SNUCK OFF TO.

- WELL, I HAD SOME
SOUL SEARCHING TO DO,

BUT I WORKED THINGS OUT.

MAYNARD, OLD
FRIEND, I REALIZE NOW

THAT YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS
MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSION.

IN THIS SHAKY WORLD,

YOUR LOYALTY IS MY
TOWER OF STRENGTH.

- I, LIKE, DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

- DON'T, LIKE, SAY
ANYTHING. KISS HIM.

- DOBE, ARE YOU GOING
TO HELP ME LIKE YOU SAID?

- WELL, I PROMISED, DIDN'T I?

WE'LL HAVE THAT GIRL
FALLING ALL OVER YOU.

- CRAZY.

- NOW, FIRST YOU'VE
GOT TO KNOW HER NAME.

IT'S ESSENTIAL.

- ESSENTIAL. WHAT
A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

- IF...

NO. HER NAME IS PEARL ARNOLD.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

- I-I'VE SEEN HER AROUND SCHOOL.

YEAH. I EVEN FOUND
OUT HER PHONE NUMBER

SO YOU CAN CALL HER.

- OH, NO, PLEASE, DOBE. NO.

WHEN I TALK TO A FEMALE,
MY MIND IS, LIKE, OUT TO LUNCH.

- MAYNARD, I WENT TO A LOT
OF TROUBLE TO SET THIS UP.

NOW YOU'RE GOING
THROUGH WITH IT.

ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE HAPPY.

NOW, JUST TELL HER YOUR NAME,

SAY YOU'VE ADMIRED HER
FROM AFAR FOR A LONG TIME,

AND CAN YOU MEET HER FOR A
SODA IN THE MALT SHOP TONIGHT.

FEAR NOT. I AM AT THY SIDE.

YEAH. I'M WITH YOU, PAL.

- THEY ANSWERED. THEY ANSWERED.

- GO AHEAD. SLOWLY, CALMLY.

- BUT, I...

HELLO.

THIS IS MAYNARD KREBS,

AND I'VE ADMIRED YOU
FROM A LONG TIME FROM AFAR.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO
MEET ME FOR, LIKE, A SODA

IN THE MALT SHOP TONIGHT?

NO KIDDING, WOULD YOU?

- YOU SEE HOW EASY IT WAS?

- THAT WAS THE FATHER.
HE WENT TO CALL HER.

- I TOLD...

- OH, WELL, YOU
NEEDED A DRY RUN.

- YEAH, NOW WHEN THE CHICK
HERSELF STARTS GABBING...

[ HARP MUSIC ]

IT'S HER. IT'S HER.

- DO JUST WHAT YOU DID BEFORE.

- HELLO, PEARL? THIS IS...

- SLOWLY. CALMLY.

- SLOWLY. CALMLY.

- MAYNARD KREBS.
- MAYNARD KREBS.

- I'VE ADMIRED YOU FROM
AFAR FOR A LONG TIME.

- I'VE ADMIRED YOU
FROM AFAR A LONG TIME.

- THE MALT SHOP,
A SODA, TONIGHT.

THE MALT SHOP, A SODA, TONIGHT.

WILL SHE?
- WILL YOU?

YOU WILL? SHE WILL.

- GOOD. YOU'LL MEET HER THERE

AT 8:00 AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF.

- GOOD. YOU'LL MEET
HER THERE AT 8:00

AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF.

- WELL, THAT WASN'T
SO TOUGH, WAS IT?

- BREEZEVILLE.

- BUT YOU MUST BE WORRIED
ABOUT SOMETHING, DEAR,

THE WAY YOU'RE GULPING
DOWN THOSE ALMONDS.

- I ALWAYS EAT LOTS OF ALMONDS.

- DON'T YOU USUALLY TAKE
THEM OUT OF THE SHELLS FIRST?

NOW, DEAR, WHY DON'T YOU TELL
MOTHER WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU?

- MOM, MY LIPS ARE SEALED.

I CAN ONLY SAY THAT
AT THIS VERY MOMENT,

EVENTS ARE TRANSPIRING WHICH
MAY CHANGE MY ENTIRE LIFE.

MAYNARD, YOU'RE SUP...

OH. MOM, WOULD YOU
EXCUSE US, PLEASE?

- WHY CERTAINLY, DEAR.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MOTHER.

THANK YOU.

MAYNARD, YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE WITH PEARL.

- I CHICKENED OUT.

WHEN I LOOKED IN THE WINDOW
AND SAW HER SITTING THERE,

MAN, LIKE, MY
BACKBONE FLABBED UP.

- YOU GET BACK THERE
BEFORE SHE WALKS OUT ON YOU.

- I CAN'T GO THAT
ROUTE ALONE, DADDY-O.

COME WITH ME, PLEASE.

- NO, MAYNARD. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

- YOU TOOK ME THIS FAR, DOBE.
YOU CAN'T LET ME DOWN NOW.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, MAYNARD.

I CAN'T LET YOU DOWN.
COME ON, LET'S GO.

- YOU'RE THE GREATEST PAL

A PAL EVER HAD
FOR A PAL, YES SIREE.

- DOBIE.
- OH, YOU MUST BE PEARL.

WELL, THIS IS MAYNARD KREBS,
THE FELLOW WHO CALLED YOU.

I'M HIS FRIEND, DOBIE GILLIS.

WAITER, THREE SWEET
AND SOUR SURPRISES.

ASK HER TO DANCE.

- HUH?
- DANCE.

- I'D LOVE TO.
- I MEANT...

- DOBIE, I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR AN EXPLANATION.

- WELL, YOU SEE, MAYNARD WAS SHY

ABOUT MEETING
YOU SO I CAME ALONG.

- OH?

- AFTER ALL, HE'S
MY BEST FRIEND,

AND I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY.

- I SEE.

- I MEAN, YOU'RE
A FORTUNATE GIRL

TO HAVE SUCH A HIGH TYPE
FELLOW IN LOVE WITH YOU.

- DOBIE, NOW I
UNDERSTAND WHAT A NOBLE,

UNSELFISH THING THAT
YOU WERE TRYING TO DO.

- HE-HE'S FINE AND
HONEST AND SINCERE.

- YOU WERE WILLING TO
SACRIFICE YOUR LOVE FOR ME,

TO BRING HAPPINESS
TO YOUR POOR FRIEND.

- WELL, HE'D BE
YOUR DEVOTED SLAVE.

- I KNEW YOU WERE STILL
IN LOVE WITH ME, DARLING.

[ HARP MUSIC ]

- MAYNARD, I WAS JUST
TELLING PEARL ALL ABOUT YOU.

- OH, KNOCK IT OFF, COUSIN.

I CAUGHT WHAT WAS GOING ON.

- WELL, NOTHING'S
GOING ON, MAYNARD.

- OH, WHEN YOU TWO
DANCE TOGETHER,

YOU'RE, LIKE, SWINGING
IN THE SAME KEY.

- OH, YOU'RE IMAGINING THINGS.

- MAN, I COULD HEAR
THOSE TWO HARPS

WAILING LOUD AND CLEAR.

- NOW, MAYNARD, YOU'VE GOT TO
HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF.

HE'S THE SOLID, TRUSTWORTHY
KIND OF FELLOW A GIRL WANTS.

- BUT YOU GOT CLASS.

- HE'S WARM AND CONSIDERATE.

- YOU'RE WHAT THE CHICKS GO FOR.

- HE'S SENSITIVE WITH A
GENTLE, UNDERSTANDING SOUL.

- YOU OOZE WITH THE OLD CHARM.

HE'S ONE...

PEARL?

- YOU FELLOWS DON'T NEED
ME. YOU'VE GOT EACH OTHER.

- I'M SORRY, DOBE,

FOR LOSING YOUR GIRL FOR YOU.

- AH, GIRLS. NOTHING
BUT TROUBLE.

THEY BUG ME. THEY REALLY DO.

- ME TOO, MAN. WHO NEEDS GIRLS?

- YEAH. LOOK AT
THE RICH, FULL LIFE

YOU CAN HAVE WITHOUT GIRLS.

- YEAH. YOU CAN LISTEN TO JAZZ.
- AND GO TO MOVIES.

- AND PLAY BASEBALL.
- AND FOOTBALL.

- AND HOCKEY.
- BASKETBALL AND TENNIS.

- AND GOLF AND MONOPOLY

AND YOU CAN WATCH TELEVISION...
- MAYNARD.

AND GO BOWLING AND SWIMMING.
- MAYNARD. MAYNARD.

- HUH?
- THERE'S ONE THING MISSING.

- GIRLS?
- GIRLS.

- HI, MOM.
- GOOD MORNING, DEAR.

FEELING BETTER?
- I SURE AM.

MOM, YOU'RE LOOKING
AT A NEW DOBIE GILLIS.

- A PITY. I WAS JUST GETTING
USED TO THE OLD ONE.

- I MEAN IT.

MY DAYS OF SHALLOW
GIRL-CHASING YOUTH

ARE GONE FOREVER.

- YOUR FATHER WILL CERTAINLY
BE GLAD TO HEAR THAT.

- HE'LL SEE IT.

BY THE WAY, WHERE IS DAD?

- IN THE MEAT FREEZER.

- OH. WELL, WHEN...

FREEZER.

DAD? MOM, I...

BYE, MOM.

- I G-G-GOTTA KILL THAT BOY.

I JUST G-GOTTA.

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪

♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪

♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪

♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪

♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪

♪ NO MATTER ♪

♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪

♪ DOBIE ♪