The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 1, Episode 38 - A Taste for Lobster - full transcript
The latest object of Dobie's affections is Gwyneth Krausmeyer. Unlike many girls he's tried to date in the past, Dobie may have a real chance with Gwyneth as she is a free spirit who despises the notion of material wealth and money, neither which Dobie has. She just longs to sit atop a quiet mountaintop and listen to the music of the stars. Although Herbert is somewhat suspicious of Dobie no longer asking him for money, it's Dobie's encounter with thirteen year old Chrissie Tyler and Chrissie's relationship with Gwyneth's younger sister Hermione that may threaten Dobie's relationship with Gwyneth. Chrissie is an entrepreneurial minded young man whose business venture seems like easy money to Dobie. While Gwyneth would like Dobie to use his position as a wiser elder to stop Chrissie from focusing so much on money, Dobie may fall back into old habits and use some business sense of his own to cash in on Chrissie's easy fortune.
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ DOBIE! ♪
- HI. I'M DOBIE GILLIS,
THE NEW DOBIE, THAT IS,
NOT THE HARRIED, HAUNTED
MONEY-CHASING WRETCH
I USED TO BE. NO, SIR.
NOW I'M A CHEERFUL, AGREEABLE,
WELL-ADJUSTED INDIVIDUAL.
AND WHY?
BECAUSE AT LAST, I'VE
FOUND THE PERFECT GIRL.
HER NAME IS GWYNETH.
AHH, GWYNETH KRAUSMEYER.
GWYNETH IS EVERYTHING
A GIRL SHOULD BE:
LOVELY AS A SUMMER
DAY, DAINTY AS A SUNBEAM,
NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE.
THE MOMENT WE MET, IT
WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
IT HAPPENED ONE AFTERNOON
IN THE MUSIC APPRECIATION
ROOM AT SCHOOL.
GWYNETH WAS LISTENING
TO THE FOURTH MOVEMENT
OF BERLIOZ'S
"SYMPHONIE FANTASTIQUE,
THE MARCH TO THE GALLOWS."
WE'VE COME TO THINK
OF IT AS OUR SONG.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- BEETHOVEN?
- THAT'S BEETHOVEN, MAYNARD.
OH, HERE'S AN EMPTY ONE.
- OH, BOY.
[ SYMPHONY MUSIC ]
- ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT?
- HUH?
- THOSE DIVINE DISSONANCES.
- HMM, CATCHY.
- DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- SURE.
MAYNARD, GOODBYE.
- HUH?
- MAYNARD, GOODBYE.
- SAYONARA, SELLOUT.
- HMM, MAGNIFICENT.
- YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING
THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN
AND I'M A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU
LONG TO CRUSH IN YOUR ARMS?
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU, TOO.
- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- DOBIE GILLIS.
- I'M GWYNETH
KRAUSMEYER. SIT DOWN.
ARE YOU AN OUTSIDER?
- BEG YOUR PARDON?
- DO YOU FIND THE
WORLD AROUND YOU
SORDID AND DRAB BEYOND BELIEF?
DO YOU LONG TO FLEE
TO LONELY MOUNTAINTOPS
AND LISTEN TO THE
MUSIC OF THE STARS?
- ALL THE TIME.
- I BELIEVE YOU, DOBIE GILLIS.
YOU'RE NOT LIKE
OTHER BOYS I KNOW.
- NO. NO.
- OH, SHALL I PLAY
THE OTHER SIDE?
- NO, NO, NO. I WANT TO SEE
HOW THIS SIDE COMES OUT.
- DO YOU KNOW A BOY
NAMED MASON STEWART?
- OH, YOU BET. HE
DRIVES A CONVERTIBLE
WITH POWER STEERING,
WHITEWALL TIRES,
AND A HI-FI AM
AND FM RADIO. IT'S...
- HORRIBLE.
- HORRIBLE.
- MASON ASKED ME FOR A DATE.
- HE DID?
- KNOW WHAT HE WANTED US TO DO?
- WHAT?
- HAVE DINNER AT LOBSTER HEAVEN
AND THEN GO DANCING AT
THE PAGAN PLEASURE DOME.
- THAT'S BAD?
- TERRIBLE!
- OH, TERRIBLE, YEAH.
WELL, MASON JUST DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
- YOU WON'T MAKE ME GO
PLACES LIKE THAT, WILL YOU, DOBIE?
- I'D TAKE AN OATH.
- THANK YOU.
YOU CAN KISS ME NOW IF YOU LIKE.
- NOW? I MEAN, RIGHT HERE?
- WELL, WHY NOT?
I RESERVED THE BOOTH TILL 4:00.
- LIKE, WOW, HUH?
HERE'S THIS GORGEOUS,
GOLDEN, CREAMY GIRL,
AND SHE'S MINE, MINE, MINE.
NO WONDER I'M SUCH A
CHEERFUL, AGREEABLE,
WELL-ADJUSTED INDIVIDUAL.
THE ONLY TROUBLE IS,
WHEN YOU'RE THAT
KIND OF INDIVIDUAL,
CERTAIN PEOPLE GET SUSPICIOUS,
EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE NEAR AND DEAR.
- DOBIE, WHAT IS THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
- NOTHING, DAD. I FEEL FINE.
- WELL, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY
YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LATELY.
IT'S UNNATURAL.
- HOW DO YOU MEAN?
- MM, YOU DON'T TRY TO
WHEEDLE MONEY OUT OF ME.
YOU DON'T TRY TO MAKE
WITH THE CASH REGISTERS.
SUDDENLY MY OWN SON'S
A TOTAL STRANGER TO ME.
- WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS I
DON'T NEED ANY MONEY, DAD.
- DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID?
HE DON'T NEED ANY MONEY.
- I MEAN, AFTER ALL, MONEY
DOESN'T BUY HAPPINESS.
SO IF YOU CAN BE
HAPPY WITHOUT MONEY,
WELL, WHO NEEDS IT?
- THAT'S A VERY
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT.
- THANK YOU.
- NOW, AREN'T YOU ASHAMED OF
BEING SO SUSPICIOUS OF DOBIE?
- MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES.
JUST ONE QUESTION.
ARE YOU, BY ANY CHANCE,
MIXED UP WITH A RING
OF COUNTERFEITERS?
- HERBERT.
- NO OFFENSE.
I'M JUST TRYING TO COVER
ALL THE LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS.
- THE BOY TOLD YOU. MONEY
DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS.
- NO. BUT IT DOES BUY
ICE CREAM SUNDAES.
AND IF HE ISN'T BUYING
ICE CREAM SUNDAES,
HE ISN'T CHASING GIRLS.
AND IF HE ISN'T CHASING
GIRLS, HE ISN'T OUR SON.
- OH, I'VE GOT A
GIRL, ALL RIGHT.
- WHERE YOU GETTING THE MONEY?
- WELL, SHE DESPISES MONEY.
- YOU FOUND A GIRL
WHO DESPISES MONEY?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- SON, IF YOU CAN
FIGURE OUT A WAY
OF PUTTING THIS IN BOTTLES,
YOUR FORTUNE IS MADE.
- SIR?
- NEVER MIND.
UH, LISTEN, WHEN
YOU AND THIS GIRL
GO OUT ON DATES, WHAT DO YOU DO?
- OH, WE LISTEN TO RECORDS,
STROLL ALONG THE RIVER,
AND SOMETIMES WE
GO WALKING IN THE RAIN.
- SHE SOUNDS LIKE A
SWEET, LOVELY GIRL.
- SHE SOUNDS LIKE A FUGITIVE
FROM A LAUGHING ACADEMY.
- SPEAKING FOR MY
SEX, I RESENT THAT.
THERE ARE GIRLS WHO DON'T
CARE ABOUT MONEY, YOU KNOW.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
AND I MUST HAVE
BEEN ONE OF THEM.
- I BELIEVE YOU. I BELIEVE YOU.
AND I CONGRATULATE YOU.
IN FACT, I FEEL A LITTLE
LIKE COLUMBUS' FATHER.
LOOK.
[ CASH REGISTER RINGS ]
HERE'S 10 BUCKS. TAKE
HER OUT TO LOBSTER HEAVEN
AND BUY HER A COMPLETE
DINNER WITH MY COMPLIMENTS.
- OH, I COULDN'T DO THAT.
SHE'D NEVER FORGIVE ME.
- NOW, LISTEN HERE, DOBIE!
- EXCUSE ME, DAD.
I HAVE TO MEET
GWYNETH IN THE PARK.
WE'RE GONNA WATCH A
BOBOLINK BUILD HIS NEST.
OH, AND HERE.
YOU KEEP THIS, DAD.
I KNOW HOW HARD
YOU WORKED FOR IT.
- DOBIE, ARE THERE ANY
SQUIRRELS IN THAT PARK?
- SURE, DAD. WHY?
- BE CAREFUL, BOY. BE CAREFUL.
- WHAT'LL DO WE
DO TONIGHT, DOBIE?
- HMM? OH, HOW ABOUT IF I
COME OVER AND HAVE SUPPER
AT YOUR HOUSE?
- ALL RIGHT.
AND AFTER DINNER, YOU
CAN TAKE ME TO A PICTURE.
- A MOVIE, GWYNETH? I
THOUGHT YOU HATED MOVIES.
- THIS IS AN ART
PICTURE AT THE MUSEUM,
A BULGARIAN TRAGEDY
WITH UKRAINIAN SUBTITLES.
- OH, WELL, WE'D BETTER GO
EARLY SO WE CAN GET SEATS.
- HI, THERE. HI.
THE NAME'S TYLER,
CHRISSIE TYLER.
MIND IF I TURN THIS OFF?
- YES.
- I WANT YOUR
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
I PROMISE IT WILL BE
WORTH YOUR WHILE.
- WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, SONNY?
- AND LOSE THAT
SONNY STUFF. I'M 13.
I JUST HAPPEN TO
BE SMALL FOR MY AGE.
- ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S ON
YOUR MIND, LITTLE ONE?
- I'LL OVERLOOK THAT.
LOOK, I RUN A BABYSITTER AGENCY.
I GET JOBS FOR THE KIDS
IN MY FRESHMEN CLASS.
- SO?
- MOST OF THE KIDS
HAVE TO BE HOME EARLY.
I NEED SOME OLDER SITTERS
WHO CAN STAY UP LATE.
SO HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO WORK FOR ME?
- GO AWAY.
- LISTEN, THIS
ISN'T FOR PEANUTS.
YOU CAN PICK UP 15, 20
SMACKS A WEEK, EACH.
- DOBIE, MAKE HIM GO AWAY.
- NOW, LISTEN.
- I'LL GET YOU ALL THE
JOBS YOU CAN HANDLE.
ALL YOU DO IS PAY ME A
SMALL COMMISSION, 50%.
- WHY, THAT'S DISGRACEFUL.
- OKAY, 25.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU
WERE TWO FEET SHORTER,
I COULD GO FOR YOU.
- DOBIE, WILL YOU DO SOMETHING?
- TYLER, I DON'T
USUALLY HIT LITTLE BOYS,
BUT FOR YOU, I'LL BE GLAD
TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION.
- THINK IT OVER.
- OW!
- MY CARD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIT AROUND
LIKE A BUM ON A PARK BENCH.
STICK WITH ME, YOU'LL
BE DRIVING A CONVERTIBLE.
- THAT POOR BOY.
- POOR?
- I MEAN SPIRITUALLY.
13 YEARS OLD, AND ALL HE
CAN THINK ABOUT IS MONEY.
- YEAH, WONDER WHAT
HE MAKES A WEEK?
- AT AN AGE WHEN HE
SHOULD BE REACHING OUT
FOR KNOWLEDGE AND
BEAUTY. WHAT'S HE DOING?
- CLEANING UP.
- DOBIE,
WE'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING FOR THAT BOY,
FOR CHRISSIE TYLER.
- LIKE WHAT?
- MAKE HIM REALIZE THAT HE'S
THROWING AWAY HIS YOUTH,
WASTING HIS BEST YEARS
GRUBBING FOR GOLD.
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE
A TERRIFIC GIRL,
BUT YOU'D JUST BE
WASTING YOUR BREATH
ON THAT LITTLE CREEP.
- I COME FROM A VERY
PERSUASIVE FAMILY, DOBIE.
- GWYNETH...
- I HAD A MISSIONARY AUNT
WHO CONVERTED A
WHOLE TRIBE OF CANNIBALS
WHILE THEY WERE
BRINGING HER TO A BOIL.
[ PHONE RINGING ]
- TYLER TENDING SERVICE.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
YES, MA'AM. I'LL SEND HIM OVER.
BOBBY WILKINS?
- YEAH.
- THIS LADY WANTS YOU
AGAIN TONIGHT, 7:00 TO 10:00.
- OKAY.
- 50 CENTS, PLEASE.
- YOU WANT IT NOW?
YEAH, IT'S A NEW POLICY.
COMMISSION IN ADVANCE.
- WELL, I HAVEN'T GOT 50 CENTS.
- THEN I'LL LEND IT TO YOU.
PAY ME BACK TOMORROW,
PLUS A NICKEL INTEREST.
- I WON'T DO IT.
- LOOK, I CAN RUIN
YOU IN THIS TOWN.
YOU MAY NEVER BABY-SIT AGAIN.
PLUS A NICKEL INTEREST.
[ PHONE RINGS ]
TYLER TENDING SERVICE.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
- GEE, WHAT A SETUP.
- DISGUSTING. IT'S
LIKE A SLAVE MARKET.
- WELL, WELL, WELL,
LOOK WHO'S HERE. MAY I?
- TYLER, WE WANT TO
HAVE A TALK WITH YOU.
- I'M GLAD YOU
CHANGED YOUR MIND.
FRANKLY, I'VE HAD TROUBLE
LINING UP THE OLDER CROWD.
- CHRISSIE, WE WANT TO HELP YOU.
- FINE. WHEN CAN YOU GO TO WORK?
- NO, SHE MEANS
HELP YOU SPIRITUALLY.
- DEEP DOWN, CHRISSIE,
I'M SURE YOU'RE A
SWEET, SENSITIVE BOY
WITH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL.
- VERY DEEP DOWN.
- WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?
- THE DREADFUL MONEY-GRUBBING
BUSINESS YOU'VE STARTED.
OH, GIVE IT UP,
CHRISSIE. GIVE IT UP.
- YOU KIDDING? I'M MAKING
OVER 100 SMACKS A WEEK.
- YOU ARE?
HORRORS.
- CHRISSIE, THINK OF
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING,
THE WONDERS OF NATURE,
THE GLORIES OF MUSIC
AND ART AND POETRY.
- BALONEY.
- HEY, MIND YOUR MANNERS, KID.
- LOOK, I'VE GOT NOTHING
AGAINST CULTURE.
IN FACT, I MAY ENDOW
A LIBRARY OR TWO,
AFTER I MAKE MY FIRST MILLION.
- YOU'VE GOT IT ALL
FIGURED OUT, HUH?
- SURE. I EVEN TOOK ONE
OF THOSE APTITUDE TESTS
TO FIND OUT WHAT LINE
OF BUSINESS SUITS ME BEST.
- YEAH?
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAID
I SHOULD BE WHEN I GROW UP?
- WHAT?
- A ROBBER BARON.
- CHRISSIE, THERE'S A
MR. FINEL ON THE LINE.
- EXCUSE ME. I HAVE TO
GO TALK TO MY TAX MAN.
THANKS FOR TAKING INTEREST.
IN A FEW YEARS, WHEN
I GET MY FULL GROWTH,
I MAY GIVE YOU A BUZZ.
- THERE MUST BE SOME WAY
OF GETTING THROUGH TO HIM.
MAYBE HE'D BE MORE APT
TO LISTEN TO SOMEBODY
WHO TALKED HIS LANGUAGE.
- YOU MEAN LIKE BERNARD BARUCH?
- NO, I MEAN
SOMEBODY HIS OWN AGE.
AND I KNOW JUST THE
PERSON, MY SISTER HERMIONE.
- THE ONE WITH THE FRECKLES
WHO WRITES POETRY IN BLANK VERSE?
- HERMIONE ADORES CULTURE.
IMAGINE, SHE'S
ONLY 11 YEARS OLD,
AND ALREADY SHE'S
WRITTEN 200 POEMS.
AND THEY'VE BEEN REJECTED.
- HEY, YOUR FOLKS MUST
BE REAL PROUD OF HER.
- OH, SHE'LL CONSIDER
CHRISSIE A CHALLENGE.
- SO WOULD THE MARINES.
- DON'T WORRY. WHEN IT
COMES TO 13-YEAR-OLD BOYS,
HERMIONE IS DYNAMITE.
- I STILL LIKE THE IDEA
OF BREAKING HIS ARM.
- HERMIONE'S GIVING A
PARTY SATURDAY NIGHT.
I'LL GET HER TO SEND
CHRISSIE AN INVITATION.
- AND IT MIGHT HELP IF
SHE ENCLOSED A $20 BILL.
- OH, HE'LL COME TO THE PARTY.
I BELIEVE AT HEART, CHRISSIE
IS JUST A LOST,
LONELY LITTLE BOY.
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE A
WONDERFUL PERSON,
LIKE JOAN OF ARC, KIND OF.
NO SIGN OF CHRISSIE YET.
- IT'S STILL EARLY.
- YOU SURE YOU GOT
HERMIONE ALL PRIMED?
- OH, SURE. SHE KNOWS
HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO ME.
- WHAT KIND OF A
PARTY IS THIS ANYWAY?
DON'T THE KIDS
DANCE OR ANYTHING?
- HERMIONE ATTRACTS
THE INTELLECTUAL KIDS.
LATER ON, THERE'LL PROBABLY
BE A POETRY READING.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
- REAL KICKS. GEE, I
HOPE THIS IS CHRISSIE.
- HELLO.
- I WAS INVITED. MY
NAME'S CHRISSIE TYLER.
- I'M HERMIONE KRAUSMEYER.
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
- ME TOO.
- WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PUNCH?
- ANYTHING YOU SAY.
- YOU SIT THERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
- WELL, THAT TAKES
CARE OF CHRISSIE.
- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
- OH, ALL THE WOMEN
IN MY FAMILY ARE THAT WAY.
I HAD AN AUNT ONCE WHO THREW
A ROSE TO A MATADOR IN MADRID.
HE FOLLOWED HER ALL
THE WAY TO KEOKUK, IOWA.
- HI.
- HI.
- GWYNETH WILL BE
DOWN IN A MINUTE.
SHE LET ME SHOWER
FIRST, 'CAUSE I HAVE A DATE.
- OH, WITH CHRISSIE?
- YES. I HAVEN'T
LOOKED AT ANOTHER BOY
FOR A WHOLE MONTH.
- OH.
- WE'RE GOING TO THE
SYMPHONY CONCERT.
- REALLY?
LOOK AT THE NEW
PHONOGRAPH HE GAVE ME.
- HEY. HEY, THAT'S NICE.
- WHAT ARE THOSE?
- HMM?
OH, THESE ARE SOME DAISIES
I PICKED FOR GWYNETH.
- CHRISSIE SENT ME
FLOWERS, TOO, ORCHIDS.
GOODBYE. I'VE GOT TO
GO OVER TO CHRISSIE'S
TO DO SOME WORK ON THE
BOOK WE'RE WRITING TOGETHER.
- OH, YOU'VE GOT
CHRISSIE WRITING POETRY?
- UH-UH.
THIS BOOK IS "HOW
TO RETIRE AT 20."
- "HOW TO RETIRE AT 20"?
- IT'S A COLLECTION
OF STOCK MARKET TIPS
FOR THE TEENAGERS.
- AND YOU'RE HELPING HIM?
HERMIONE, YOU'VE CHANGED.
- WELL, SOMEBODY IN THIS FAMILY
HAS TO MARRY A GOOD PROVIDER,
ESPECIALLY IF HER ONLY SISTER'S
STUCK WITH A SHIFTLESS DRIP.
- WHO SAYS I'M A SHIFTLESS DRIP?
- CHRISSIE.
BUT YOU'RE STILL YOUNG, DOBIE.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY PULLING
YOURSELF TOGETHER?
- HERMIONE!
- OH, HI, GORGEOUS. DON'T MOVE.
JUST STAND THERE FOR A MOMENT.
I WANT TO REMEMBER
HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK.
FLOWERS?
- YES.
AND THEY LOOKED A LITTLE
BETTER OUT IN THE FRONT LAWN.
HAVE YOU HAD DINNER?
- OF COURSE NOT. I WANTED
TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.
- WELL, I'LL SEE
WHAT'S IN THE ICEBOX.
- GWYNETH, I JUST HAD
A TALK WITH HERMIONE.
I WORRY ABOUT HER.
- DON'T.
COLD CUTS ALL RIGHT?
- PERFECT.
THAT TYLER KID'S DONE
SOMETHING TO HER.
- YES. HE'S DOOMED
HER TO A LIFE OF LUXURY.
- GWYNETH, WHAT'S WRONG?
- HERMIONE AND CHRISSIE
ARE DINING TOGETHER, TOO.
HE'S TAKING HER
TO LOBSTER HEAVEN.
- GWYNETH.
- AND THEN THEY'RE GOING
TO THE SYMPHONY CONCERT.
- DARLING.
- AND DID YOU HAPPEN TO NOTICE
THE PHONOGRAPH HE GAVE HER?
- YES, IT'S SHOCKING.
A YOUNG GIRL SHOULDN'T BE
GETTING SUCH EXPENSIVE PRESENTS.
- YOU'LL PROTECT ME FROM
THAT SORT OF THING, WON'T YOU?
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE JEALOUS.
- WELL, YES, I AM.
- YOU, MY SWEET, UNWORLDLY
WALKER IN THE RAIN.
- WELL, I JUST DON'T SEE
WHY MY 11-YEAR-OLD SISTER
SHOULD HAVE A MORE
GLAMOROUS SOCIAL LIFE THAN I.
IT'S HUMILIATING.
- GWYNETH, I'LL TAKE
YOU TO THE CONCERT.
- YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT TICKETS?
- I KNOW ONE OF THE USHERS.
HE CAN SNEAK US
INTO STANDING ROOM.
- MY CUP RUNNETH OVER.
- GWYNETH, WE'RE
OUTSIDERS, REMEMBER?
WE DWELL ON LONELY MOUNTAINTOPS.
THINGS LIKE FANCY PHONOGRAPHS
AND LOBSTER DINNERS
MEAN NOTHING TO US.
- BALONEY?
- OH, CHRISSIE, THANK YOU.
- MY DEAR.
- AM I SIPPING TOO FAST?
THE SECOND MOVEMENT
WAS A SHADE TOO ANDANTE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
GWYNETH, IT'S GONNA RAIN.
LET'S GO FOR A
WALK, HUH? GWYNETH?
- HI, GWYNETH.
- WHY, HELLO, MASON.
- LOOKS LIKE A STORM COMING UP.
CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT
HOME IN MY CONVERTIBLE?
TOP UP, OF COURSE.
- OH, THAT WOULD BE JUST DREAMY.
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE WITH
ME. I'M YOUR DATE, REMEMBER?
- IT'S STILL EARLY THOUGH.
MAYBE WE COULD GO
DANCING SOMEWHERE.
- OH, I'D ADORE TO.
- UNLESS YOU'RE TIED UP.
- OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
DOBIE WON'T MIND.
- YES, I WILL.
- GOODBYE, DOBIE.
- GWYN, ARE YOU
REALLY DOING THIS TO ME?
- WITH A SONG IN MY HEART.
- GWYNETH.
- DON'T WORRY, DOBIE. MY
DOOR'S ALWAYS OPEN TO YOU.
- IT IS?
- OF COURSE.
THE ONLY THING IS THE
NEXT TIME YOU WALK IN...
- YES?
- BRING MONEY.
- WHAT'S THIS FOR?
- OUR SPECIALTY. IT'S
CALLED BANANARAMA.
- BUT I DIDN'T ORDER IT.
ANYWAY, IT MUST COST A FORTUNE.
- FOR YOU, NO CHARGE.
IT'S SERVED WITH COMPLIMENTS
OF YOUNG GENTLEMAN.
- I'VE GOT NO GIRL. WHY?
BECAUSE I'VE GOT NO MONEY.
AND TO GET GWYNETH
BACK, I NEED MONEY,
GREAT, GREEN GOBS OF IT.
BUT WHERE? HOW? NOW,
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
IT'S NOT AS IF I HAVEN'T MADE
AN HONEST EFFORT TO GET SOME.
[ CASH REGISTER RINGS ]
- DOBIE.
- YES, DAD?
- ARE YOU HELPING YOURSELF
FROM THE CASH REGISTER?
- YES, DAD. MAY I?
- NO, YOU MAY NOT.
- BUT I'LL PAY IT BACK, DAD,
SOON AS MY SHIP COMES IN.
- WHAT SHIP IS
THAT, THE TITANIC?
- CAN'T I JUST A LITTLE?
- NOT ONE, THIN, SCRAWNY DIME.
- GOSH.
- BUT IT'S SURE GOOD TO SEE
YOU BACK IN THERE TRYING, BOY.
WELCOME HOME, SON.
- SO HERE I AM, A LOST,
LONELY, LOVELORN WRECK
BECAUSE CHRISSIE TYLER
TURNED GWYNETH'S LOVELY HEAD
WITH HIS ILL-GOTTEN GOLD.
YES, ILL-GOTTEN.
DOES CHRISSIE WORK IN
THE FIELDS FOR HIS MONEY?
DOES HE SIT AT A FACTORY BENCH?
NO.
HE GETS IT BY EXPLOITING
THOSE POOR KIDS.
YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY OUGHT
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT,
PUT A STOP TO IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
SOMEBODY'S GONNA.
FRIENDS! FRIENDS,
I HAVE COME HERE
TO LIBERATE YOU FROM YOUR BONDS,
TO LEAD YOU OUT OF THE
DARK VALLEY OF SLAVERY
INTO THE SUNLIGHT OF FREEDOM.
- WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
- HE HASN'T SAID YET.
- CHRISSIE TYLER'S
EXPLOITING YOU.
HE'S LIVING LIKE A LORD OFF
THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROWS.
- WILL YOU PLEASE TELL US
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
- ALL RIGHT, I WILL.
CHRISSIE TYLER
MAY GET YOUR JOBS,
BUT WHO DOES ALL
THE WORK? YOU DO.
WHO FEEDS THE BABY HIS
CREAM OF MUSH? YOU DO.
WHO HAS TO CHANGE
AND DIAPER HIM? YOU DO.
BUT, BUT... WHO'S
MAKING ALL THE MONEY?
- CHRISSIE TYLER.
- CHRISSIE TYLER.
- WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
- THEN WALK OUT, STRIKE.
- BUT WE NEED THE JOBS.
- WHAT DO WE DO
FOR SPENDING MONEY?
- OH, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED
THAT QUESTION, FRIEND.
THE DOBIE GILLIS SITTER SERVICE
IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
SIGN UP WITH ME, AND I'LL GET
YOU ALL THE JOBS YOU WANT.
- HOORAY!
- YOU WON'T HAVE TO
PAY ANY COMMISSION.
- YAY! YAY!
- HARDLY ANY, JUST A SMALL
FEE TO COVER OVERHEAD.
- WHERE DO WE SIGN UP?
- RIGHT THIS WAY, FRIENDS.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
GILLIS SITTER SERVICE.
YES, MA'AM, RIGHT AWAY.
UH, 14 ELM DRIVE, WILKINS.
- GOSH. THANKS, MR. GILLIS.
- THAT'LL BE 25 CENTS.
- GEE, CHRIS USED TO
CHARGE US HALF A BUCK.
- WELL, I'M NOT IN THIS
FOR THE MONEY, SON.
I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU
KIDS GET A START IN LIFE.
- YOU'RE ALL HEART, SIR.
- THAT'S TRUE, SON.
I'LL REMEMBER YOU.
YOU SEE BEFORE YOU A TYCOON,
A MAN OF IMPORTANCE
IN THE COMMUNITY.
NOW WHEN I WALK DOWN THE STREET
THEY DON'T SAY, "THERE GOES
THAT PENNILESS DOBIE GILLIS."
NO, SIR. NOW THEY SAY,
THERE GOES THAT WEALTHY,
PENNILESS DOBIE GILLIS.
THIS SUIT IS A SYMBOL
OF MY NEW STATUS IN LIFE,
BANKER'S GREY.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT QUITE TIME
TO WEAR IT IN PUBLIC YET.
I MEAN, I'M READY.
BUT I'M AFRAID THE PUBLIC ISN'T.
AND I STILL HAVE THAT
OTHER INDUSTRIAL GIANT,
CHRISSIE TYLER, TO DISPOSE OF.
- STEP RIGHT UP, FRIENDS,
FREE LEMONADE AND COOKIES
TO EVERYBODY WHO
WORKS FOR TYLER TENDING,
TYLER TENDING, THE SITTER
SERVICE WITH A HEART.
- LIVE IT UP, KIDS.
IT'S ALL FREE,
COMPLIMENTS OF THE
GILLIS SITTER SERVICE,
THE WORKERS' FRIEND.
HERE YOU ARE, MY
DEAR. JUST TAKE THAT.
- FREE KITTENS
TO ALL LOYAL EMPLOYEES
OF TYLER TENDING.
STEP RIGHT UP AND GET
YOURSELF A LITTLE PAL.
- VANDERBILT, CARNEGIE,
ROCKEFELLER, AND NOW GILLIS.
AT LAST I KNOW HOW IT
FEELS TO HAVE POWER
AND GUIDE THE
DESTINIES OF OTHERS.
I ONLY WISH I HAD IT SO EASY
WITH ELEMENTARY ALGEBRA.
BUT, YOU SEE, OUT
HERE IN THE PARK,
WITH MY OFFICE IN MY HAT,
I'M SORT OF LIKE A
17-YEAR-OLD DADDY WARBUCKS,
COUNSELING, ADVISING,
HELPING THE ORDINARY PEOPLE.
THE GILLIS SITTER SERVICE
OFFERS YOU SECURITY,
THE SIX-HOUR WEEK,
VACATIONS WITH PAY,
AND WHEN YOU RETIRE
AT 16, OLD-AGE PENSIONS.
- HEY, MR. GILLIS, LOOK.
- LOOKING FOR ME, TYLER?
- YES, DOBIE.
I'M LICKED. CAN YOU
USE AN EXTRA SITTER?
- HMM, HAVE YOU
HAD ANY EXPERIENCE?
- PLEASE, DOBIE. I'VE GOT
TO MAKE SOME MONEY.
HERMIONE HAS VERY
EXPENSIVE TASTES.
- OKAY, CHRISSIE. YOU
CAN COME TO WORK FOR ME.
- GEE, THANKS.
- IN FACT, I'LL LET YOU
MANAGE THE BUSINESS FOR ME.
AFTER ALL, WITH YOUR KNOW-HOW...
- I'LL WORK HARD, DOBIE.
- THEN YOU CAN START RIGHT NOW.
AND IT'S MR. GILLIS.
I THINK I'LL TAKE
THE EVENING OFF
AND DROP IN ON A
CERTAIN GIRL I KNOW.
- GIVE HERMIONE MY REGARDS.
- I WILL, SON.
GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD.
- THANKS.
- OH, AND, CHRISSIE?
- YES, MR. GILLIS?
- KEEP YOUR MITTS
OUT OF THE PETTY CASH.
- WHY, DOBIE.
- JUST HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
DRIVING THROUGH
IN MY CONVERTIBLE
WITH POWER STEERING,
WHITEWALL TIRES,
AND A HI-FI AM AND FM RADIO.
- YOU BOUGHT A CONVERTIBLE?
- WELL, I RENTED IT,
BUT I MAY DECIDE
TO HANG ON TO IT.
- OH, DOBIE.
- IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE FREE,
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT
DINE TOGETHER.
- YOU MEAN EAT OUT?
- OF COURSE.
ONE HEARS THERE'S A LITTLE SPOT
IN TOWN CALLED LOBSTER HEAVEN
WHERE THE CUISINE
IS NOT UNSPEAKABLE.
- DOBIE, I CAN'T.
- HUH?
- I DON'T LIKE LOBSTER. IT
MAKES ME BREAK OUT IN SPOTS.
- WELL, COULDN'T YOU
ORDER SOMETHING ELSE?
- DOBIE, IT'S NO USE.
- BUT I HAD THE WHOLE
EVENING PLANNED,
LOBSTER DINNER,
DANCING UNDER THE STARS.
I WAS EVEN GONNA STOP
AND GET YOU ORCHIDS.
- ORCHIDS MAKE
ME BREAK OUT, TOO.
DOBIE, I FOUND OUT I
DON'T LIKE FANCY LIVING.
AT HEART, I AM AN OUTSIDER.
- YOU ARE?
WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL
'CAUSE, DEEP DOWN, SO AM I.
THIS GLITTER, THIS GLAMOUR,
THIS ISN'T THE REAL ME.
- NO, DOBIE, IT'S TOO LATE.
- NO, IT ISN'T.
LOOK, HERE'S THE $20 I WAS GONNA
SPEND ON US TONIGHT. WATCH.
- OH, DOBIE, DON'T.
- FOR YOU, I'D DO IT GLADLY.
- DOBIE, IT'S NO USE. I'M IN
LOVE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE NOW.
- HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
- I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
- IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
- WITH US, TOO.
- HE'S A REMARKABLE PERSON,
A SIMPLE, UNAFFECTED
CHILD OF NATURE.
- LIKE... LIKE, HI.
- MAYNARD, YOU SNAKE.
- GEE, I'M, LIKE, SORRY, DOBIE,
BUT I THOUGHT YOU AND
GWYNETH WERE, LIKE, SPLITSVILLE.
COME ON, CHICK. WE'LL
BE LATE FOR THE CONCERT.
- YOU'RE GOING TO A CONCERT?
- YEAH, I'M ON A
LONG HAIR KICK NOW.
MAN, THAT BEETHOVEN
IS REAL GONE.
- BEETHOVEN, MAYNARD, BEETHOVEN.
I'M A HUSK, AN EMPTY SHELL,
A BROKEN MAN WITH
NOWHERE TO TURN.
BUT I'LL FORGET ABOUT GIRLS
AND BURY MYSELF IN BUSINESS.
I'LL BECOME A
CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY,
COLD, RUTHLESS, HARD AS STEEL.
WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT
MADE ME SO MEAN AND CRUEL,
I'LL LOOK AT THEM AND
SAY JUST TWO WORDS:
GWYNETH KRAUSMEYER.
- MR. GILLIS.
- YES, ELLEN.
- WE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT.
- WHAT?
- WE DIDN'T NEED CHRISSIE.
WE DON'T NEED YOU EITHER.
- WE'RE STARTING OUR
OWN SITTER SERVICE.
- I'M PRESIDENT.
- AND I'M VICE-PRESIDENT.
- I'M SECRETARY.
- I'M TREASURER.
- I'M DEAD.
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ DOBIE! ♪
- HI. I'M DOBIE GILLIS,
THE NEW DOBIE, THAT IS,
NOT THE HARRIED, HAUNTED
MONEY-CHASING WRETCH
I USED TO BE. NO, SIR.
NOW I'M A CHEERFUL, AGREEABLE,
WELL-ADJUSTED INDIVIDUAL.
AND WHY?
BECAUSE AT LAST, I'VE
FOUND THE PERFECT GIRL.
HER NAME IS GWYNETH.
AHH, GWYNETH KRAUSMEYER.
GWYNETH IS EVERYTHING
A GIRL SHOULD BE:
LOVELY AS A SUMMER
DAY, DAINTY AS A SUNBEAM,
NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE.
THE MOMENT WE MET, IT
WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
IT HAPPENED ONE AFTERNOON
IN THE MUSIC APPRECIATION
ROOM AT SCHOOL.
GWYNETH WAS LISTENING
TO THE FOURTH MOVEMENT
OF BERLIOZ'S
"SYMPHONIE FANTASTIQUE,
THE MARCH TO THE GALLOWS."
WE'VE COME TO THINK
OF IT AS OUR SONG.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- BEETHOVEN?
- THAT'S BEETHOVEN, MAYNARD.
OH, HERE'S AN EMPTY ONE.
- OH, BOY.
[ SYMPHONY MUSIC ]
- ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT?
- HUH?
- THOSE DIVINE DISSONANCES.
- HMM, CATCHY.
- DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- SURE.
MAYNARD, GOODBYE.
- HUH?
- MAYNARD, GOODBYE.
- SAYONARA, SELLOUT.
- HMM, MAGNIFICENT.
- YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING
THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN
AND I'M A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU
LONG TO CRUSH IN YOUR ARMS?
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU, TOO.
- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- DOBIE GILLIS.
- I'M GWYNETH
KRAUSMEYER. SIT DOWN.
ARE YOU AN OUTSIDER?
- BEG YOUR PARDON?
- DO YOU FIND THE
WORLD AROUND YOU
SORDID AND DRAB BEYOND BELIEF?
DO YOU LONG TO FLEE
TO LONELY MOUNTAINTOPS
AND LISTEN TO THE
MUSIC OF THE STARS?
- ALL THE TIME.
- I BELIEVE YOU, DOBIE GILLIS.
YOU'RE NOT LIKE
OTHER BOYS I KNOW.
- NO. NO.
- OH, SHALL I PLAY
THE OTHER SIDE?
- NO, NO, NO. I WANT TO SEE
HOW THIS SIDE COMES OUT.
- DO YOU KNOW A BOY
NAMED MASON STEWART?
- OH, YOU BET. HE
DRIVES A CONVERTIBLE
WITH POWER STEERING,
WHITEWALL TIRES,
AND A HI-FI AM
AND FM RADIO. IT'S...
- HORRIBLE.
- HORRIBLE.
- MASON ASKED ME FOR A DATE.
- HE DID?
- KNOW WHAT HE WANTED US TO DO?
- WHAT?
- HAVE DINNER AT LOBSTER HEAVEN
AND THEN GO DANCING AT
THE PAGAN PLEASURE DOME.
- THAT'S BAD?
- TERRIBLE!
- OH, TERRIBLE, YEAH.
WELL, MASON JUST DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
- YOU WON'T MAKE ME GO
PLACES LIKE THAT, WILL YOU, DOBIE?
- I'D TAKE AN OATH.
- THANK YOU.
YOU CAN KISS ME NOW IF YOU LIKE.
- NOW? I MEAN, RIGHT HERE?
- WELL, WHY NOT?
I RESERVED THE BOOTH TILL 4:00.
- LIKE, WOW, HUH?
HERE'S THIS GORGEOUS,
GOLDEN, CREAMY GIRL,
AND SHE'S MINE, MINE, MINE.
NO WONDER I'M SUCH A
CHEERFUL, AGREEABLE,
WELL-ADJUSTED INDIVIDUAL.
THE ONLY TROUBLE IS,
WHEN YOU'RE THAT
KIND OF INDIVIDUAL,
CERTAIN PEOPLE GET SUSPICIOUS,
EVEN PEOPLE WHO ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE NEAR AND DEAR.
- DOBIE, WHAT IS THE
MATTER WITH YOU?
- NOTHING, DAD. I FEEL FINE.
- WELL, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY
YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LATELY.
IT'S UNNATURAL.
- HOW DO YOU MEAN?
- MM, YOU DON'T TRY TO
WHEEDLE MONEY OUT OF ME.
YOU DON'T TRY TO MAKE
WITH THE CASH REGISTERS.
SUDDENLY MY OWN SON'S
A TOTAL STRANGER TO ME.
- WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS I
DON'T NEED ANY MONEY, DAD.
- DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID?
HE DON'T NEED ANY MONEY.
- I MEAN, AFTER ALL, MONEY
DOESN'T BUY HAPPINESS.
SO IF YOU CAN BE
HAPPY WITHOUT MONEY,
WELL, WHO NEEDS IT?
- THAT'S A VERY
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT.
- THANK YOU.
- NOW, AREN'T YOU ASHAMED OF
BEING SO SUSPICIOUS OF DOBIE?
- MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES.
JUST ONE QUESTION.
ARE YOU, BY ANY CHANCE,
MIXED UP WITH A RING
OF COUNTERFEITERS?
- HERBERT.
- NO OFFENSE.
I'M JUST TRYING TO COVER
ALL THE LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS.
- THE BOY TOLD YOU. MONEY
DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS.
- NO. BUT IT DOES BUY
ICE CREAM SUNDAES.
AND IF HE ISN'T BUYING
ICE CREAM SUNDAES,
HE ISN'T CHASING GIRLS.
AND IF HE ISN'T CHASING
GIRLS, HE ISN'T OUR SON.
- OH, I'VE GOT A
GIRL, ALL RIGHT.
- WHERE YOU GETTING THE MONEY?
- WELL, SHE DESPISES MONEY.
- YOU FOUND A GIRL
WHO DESPISES MONEY?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- SON, IF YOU CAN
FIGURE OUT A WAY
OF PUTTING THIS IN BOTTLES,
YOUR FORTUNE IS MADE.
- SIR?
- NEVER MIND.
UH, LISTEN, WHEN
YOU AND THIS GIRL
GO OUT ON DATES, WHAT DO YOU DO?
- OH, WE LISTEN TO RECORDS,
STROLL ALONG THE RIVER,
AND SOMETIMES WE
GO WALKING IN THE RAIN.
- SHE SOUNDS LIKE A
SWEET, LOVELY GIRL.
- SHE SOUNDS LIKE A FUGITIVE
FROM A LAUGHING ACADEMY.
- SPEAKING FOR MY
SEX, I RESENT THAT.
THERE ARE GIRLS WHO DON'T
CARE ABOUT MONEY, YOU KNOW.
- YEAH?
- YEAH.
AND I MUST HAVE
BEEN ONE OF THEM.
- I BELIEVE YOU. I BELIEVE YOU.
AND I CONGRATULATE YOU.
IN FACT, I FEEL A LITTLE
LIKE COLUMBUS' FATHER.
LOOK.
[ CASH REGISTER RINGS ]
HERE'S 10 BUCKS. TAKE
HER OUT TO LOBSTER HEAVEN
AND BUY HER A COMPLETE
DINNER WITH MY COMPLIMENTS.
- OH, I COULDN'T DO THAT.
SHE'D NEVER FORGIVE ME.
- NOW, LISTEN HERE, DOBIE!
- EXCUSE ME, DAD.
I HAVE TO MEET
GWYNETH IN THE PARK.
WE'RE GONNA WATCH A
BOBOLINK BUILD HIS NEST.
OH, AND HERE.
YOU KEEP THIS, DAD.
I KNOW HOW HARD
YOU WORKED FOR IT.
- DOBIE, ARE THERE ANY
SQUIRRELS IN THAT PARK?
- SURE, DAD. WHY?
- BE CAREFUL, BOY. BE CAREFUL.
- WHAT'LL DO WE
DO TONIGHT, DOBIE?
- HMM? OH, HOW ABOUT IF I
COME OVER AND HAVE SUPPER
AT YOUR HOUSE?
- ALL RIGHT.
AND AFTER DINNER, YOU
CAN TAKE ME TO A PICTURE.
- A MOVIE, GWYNETH? I
THOUGHT YOU HATED MOVIES.
- THIS IS AN ART
PICTURE AT THE MUSEUM,
A BULGARIAN TRAGEDY
WITH UKRAINIAN SUBTITLES.
- OH, WELL, WE'D BETTER GO
EARLY SO WE CAN GET SEATS.
- HI, THERE. HI.
THE NAME'S TYLER,
CHRISSIE TYLER.
MIND IF I TURN THIS OFF?
- YES.
- I WANT YOUR
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
I PROMISE IT WILL BE
WORTH YOUR WHILE.
- WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, SONNY?
- AND LOSE THAT
SONNY STUFF. I'M 13.
I JUST HAPPEN TO
BE SMALL FOR MY AGE.
- ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S ON
YOUR MIND, LITTLE ONE?
- I'LL OVERLOOK THAT.
LOOK, I RUN A BABYSITTER AGENCY.
I GET JOBS FOR THE KIDS
IN MY FRESHMEN CLASS.
- SO?
- MOST OF THE KIDS
HAVE TO BE HOME EARLY.
I NEED SOME OLDER SITTERS
WHO CAN STAY UP LATE.
SO HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO WORK FOR ME?
- GO AWAY.
- LISTEN, THIS
ISN'T FOR PEANUTS.
YOU CAN PICK UP 15, 20
SMACKS A WEEK, EACH.
- DOBIE, MAKE HIM GO AWAY.
- NOW, LISTEN.
- I'LL GET YOU ALL THE
JOBS YOU CAN HANDLE.
ALL YOU DO IS PAY ME A
SMALL COMMISSION, 50%.
- WHY, THAT'S DISGRACEFUL.
- OKAY, 25.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU
WERE TWO FEET SHORTER,
I COULD GO FOR YOU.
- DOBIE, WILL YOU DO SOMETHING?
- TYLER, I DON'T
USUALLY HIT LITTLE BOYS,
BUT FOR YOU, I'LL BE GLAD
TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION.
- THINK IT OVER.
- OW!
- MY CARD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIT AROUND
LIKE A BUM ON A PARK BENCH.
STICK WITH ME, YOU'LL
BE DRIVING A CONVERTIBLE.
- THAT POOR BOY.
- POOR?
- I MEAN SPIRITUALLY.
13 YEARS OLD, AND ALL HE
CAN THINK ABOUT IS MONEY.
- YEAH, WONDER WHAT
HE MAKES A WEEK?
- AT AN AGE WHEN HE
SHOULD BE REACHING OUT
FOR KNOWLEDGE AND
BEAUTY. WHAT'S HE DOING?
- CLEANING UP.
- DOBIE,
WE'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING FOR THAT BOY,
FOR CHRISSIE TYLER.
- LIKE WHAT?
- MAKE HIM REALIZE THAT HE'S
THROWING AWAY HIS YOUTH,
WASTING HIS BEST YEARS
GRUBBING FOR GOLD.
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE
A TERRIFIC GIRL,
BUT YOU'D JUST BE
WASTING YOUR BREATH
ON THAT LITTLE CREEP.
- I COME FROM A VERY
PERSUASIVE FAMILY, DOBIE.
- GWYNETH...
- I HAD A MISSIONARY AUNT
WHO CONVERTED A
WHOLE TRIBE OF CANNIBALS
WHILE THEY WERE
BRINGING HER TO A BOIL.
[ PHONE RINGING ]
- TYLER TENDING SERVICE.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
YES, MA'AM. I'LL SEND HIM OVER.
BOBBY WILKINS?
- YEAH.
- THIS LADY WANTS YOU
AGAIN TONIGHT, 7:00 TO 10:00.
- OKAY.
- 50 CENTS, PLEASE.
- YOU WANT IT NOW?
YEAH, IT'S A NEW POLICY.
COMMISSION IN ADVANCE.
- WELL, I HAVEN'T GOT 50 CENTS.
- THEN I'LL LEND IT TO YOU.
PAY ME BACK TOMORROW,
PLUS A NICKEL INTEREST.
- I WON'T DO IT.
- LOOK, I CAN RUIN
YOU IN THIS TOWN.
YOU MAY NEVER BABY-SIT AGAIN.
PLUS A NICKEL INTEREST.
[ PHONE RINGS ]
TYLER TENDING SERVICE.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
- GEE, WHAT A SETUP.
- DISGUSTING. IT'S
LIKE A SLAVE MARKET.
- WELL, WELL, WELL,
LOOK WHO'S HERE. MAY I?
- TYLER, WE WANT TO
HAVE A TALK WITH YOU.
- I'M GLAD YOU
CHANGED YOUR MIND.
FRANKLY, I'VE HAD TROUBLE
LINING UP THE OLDER CROWD.
- CHRISSIE, WE WANT TO HELP YOU.
- FINE. WHEN CAN YOU GO TO WORK?
- NO, SHE MEANS
HELP YOU SPIRITUALLY.
- DEEP DOWN, CHRISSIE,
I'M SURE YOU'RE A
SWEET, SENSITIVE BOY
WITH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL.
- VERY DEEP DOWN.
- WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?
- THE DREADFUL MONEY-GRUBBING
BUSINESS YOU'VE STARTED.
OH, GIVE IT UP,
CHRISSIE. GIVE IT UP.
- YOU KIDDING? I'M MAKING
OVER 100 SMACKS A WEEK.
- YOU ARE?
HORRORS.
- CHRISSIE, THINK OF
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING,
THE WONDERS OF NATURE,
THE GLORIES OF MUSIC
AND ART AND POETRY.
- BALONEY.
- HEY, MIND YOUR MANNERS, KID.
- LOOK, I'VE GOT NOTHING
AGAINST CULTURE.
IN FACT, I MAY ENDOW
A LIBRARY OR TWO,
AFTER I MAKE MY FIRST MILLION.
- YOU'VE GOT IT ALL
FIGURED OUT, HUH?
- SURE. I EVEN TOOK ONE
OF THOSE APTITUDE TESTS
TO FIND OUT WHAT LINE
OF BUSINESS SUITS ME BEST.
- YEAH?
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAID
I SHOULD BE WHEN I GROW UP?
- WHAT?
- A ROBBER BARON.
- CHRISSIE, THERE'S A
MR. FINEL ON THE LINE.
- EXCUSE ME. I HAVE TO
GO TALK TO MY TAX MAN.
THANKS FOR TAKING INTEREST.
IN A FEW YEARS, WHEN
I GET MY FULL GROWTH,
I MAY GIVE YOU A BUZZ.
- THERE MUST BE SOME WAY
OF GETTING THROUGH TO HIM.
MAYBE HE'D BE MORE APT
TO LISTEN TO SOMEBODY
WHO TALKED HIS LANGUAGE.
- YOU MEAN LIKE BERNARD BARUCH?
- NO, I MEAN
SOMEBODY HIS OWN AGE.
AND I KNOW JUST THE
PERSON, MY SISTER HERMIONE.
- THE ONE WITH THE FRECKLES
WHO WRITES POETRY IN BLANK VERSE?
- HERMIONE ADORES CULTURE.
IMAGINE, SHE'S
ONLY 11 YEARS OLD,
AND ALREADY SHE'S
WRITTEN 200 POEMS.
AND THEY'VE BEEN REJECTED.
- HEY, YOUR FOLKS MUST
BE REAL PROUD OF HER.
- OH, SHE'LL CONSIDER
CHRISSIE A CHALLENGE.
- SO WOULD THE MARINES.
- DON'T WORRY. WHEN IT
COMES TO 13-YEAR-OLD BOYS,
HERMIONE IS DYNAMITE.
- I STILL LIKE THE IDEA
OF BREAKING HIS ARM.
- HERMIONE'S GIVING A
PARTY SATURDAY NIGHT.
I'LL GET HER TO SEND
CHRISSIE AN INVITATION.
- AND IT MIGHT HELP IF
SHE ENCLOSED A $20 BILL.
- OH, HE'LL COME TO THE PARTY.
I BELIEVE AT HEART, CHRISSIE
IS JUST A LOST,
LONELY LITTLE BOY.
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE A
WONDERFUL PERSON,
LIKE JOAN OF ARC, KIND OF.
NO SIGN OF CHRISSIE YET.
- IT'S STILL EARLY.
- YOU SURE YOU GOT
HERMIONE ALL PRIMED?
- OH, SURE. SHE KNOWS
HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO ME.
- WHAT KIND OF A
PARTY IS THIS ANYWAY?
DON'T THE KIDS
DANCE OR ANYTHING?
- HERMIONE ATTRACTS
THE INTELLECTUAL KIDS.
LATER ON, THERE'LL PROBABLY
BE A POETRY READING.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
- REAL KICKS. GEE, I
HOPE THIS IS CHRISSIE.
- HELLO.
- I WAS INVITED. MY
NAME'S CHRISSIE TYLER.
- I'M HERMIONE KRAUSMEYER.
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
- ME TOO.
- WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PUNCH?
- ANYTHING YOU SAY.
- YOU SIT THERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
- WELL, THAT TAKES
CARE OF CHRISSIE.
- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
- OH, ALL THE WOMEN
IN MY FAMILY ARE THAT WAY.
I HAD AN AUNT ONCE WHO THREW
A ROSE TO A MATADOR IN MADRID.
HE FOLLOWED HER ALL
THE WAY TO KEOKUK, IOWA.
- HI.
- HI.
- GWYNETH WILL BE
DOWN IN A MINUTE.
SHE LET ME SHOWER
FIRST, 'CAUSE I HAVE A DATE.
- OH, WITH CHRISSIE?
- YES. I HAVEN'T
LOOKED AT ANOTHER BOY
FOR A WHOLE MONTH.
- OH.
- WE'RE GOING TO THE
SYMPHONY CONCERT.
- REALLY?
LOOK AT THE NEW
PHONOGRAPH HE GAVE ME.
- HEY. HEY, THAT'S NICE.
- WHAT ARE THOSE?
- HMM?
OH, THESE ARE SOME DAISIES
I PICKED FOR GWYNETH.
- CHRISSIE SENT ME
FLOWERS, TOO, ORCHIDS.
GOODBYE. I'VE GOT TO
GO OVER TO CHRISSIE'S
TO DO SOME WORK ON THE
BOOK WE'RE WRITING TOGETHER.
- OH, YOU'VE GOT
CHRISSIE WRITING POETRY?
- UH-UH.
THIS BOOK IS "HOW
TO RETIRE AT 20."
- "HOW TO RETIRE AT 20"?
- IT'S A COLLECTION
OF STOCK MARKET TIPS
FOR THE TEENAGERS.
- AND YOU'RE HELPING HIM?
HERMIONE, YOU'VE CHANGED.
- WELL, SOMEBODY IN THIS FAMILY
HAS TO MARRY A GOOD PROVIDER,
ESPECIALLY IF HER ONLY SISTER'S
STUCK WITH A SHIFTLESS DRIP.
- WHO SAYS I'M A SHIFTLESS DRIP?
- CHRISSIE.
BUT YOU'RE STILL YOUNG, DOBIE.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY PULLING
YOURSELF TOGETHER?
- HERMIONE!
- OH, HI, GORGEOUS. DON'T MOVE.
JUST STAND THERE FOR A MOMENT.
I WANT TO REMEMBER
HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK.
FLOWERS?
- YES.
AND THEY LOOKED A LITTLE
BETTER OUT IN THE FRONT LAWN.
HAVE YOU HAD DINNER?
- OF COURSE NOT. I WANTED
TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.
- WELL, I'LL SEE
WHAT'S IN THE ICEBOX.
- GWYNETH, I JUST HAD
A TALK WITH HERMIONE.
I WORRY ABOUT HER.
- DON'T.
COLD CUTS ALL RIGHT?
- PERFECT.
THAT TYLER KID'S DONE
SOMETHING TO HER.
- YES. HE'S DOOMED
HER TO A LIFE OF LUXURY.
- GWYNETH, WHAT'S WRONG?
- HERMIONE AND CHRISSIE
ARE DINING TOGETHER, TOO.
HE'S TAKING HER
TO LOBSTER HEAVEN.
- GWYNETH.
- AND THEN THEY'RE GOING
TO THE SYMPHONY CONCERT.
- DARLING.
- AND DID YOU HAPPEN TO NOTICE
THE PHONOGRAPH HE GAVE HER?
- YES, IT'S SHOCKING.
A YOUNG GIRL SHOULDN'T BE
GETTING SUCH EXPENSIVE PRESENTS.
- YOU'LL PROTECT ME FROM
THAT SORT OF THING, WON'T YOU?
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE JEALOUS.
- WELL, YES, I AM.
- YOU, MY SWEET, UNWORLDLY
WALKER IN THE RAIN.
- WELL, I JUST DON'T SEE
WHY MY 11-YEAR-OLD SISTER
SHOULD HAVE A MORE
GLAMOROUS SOCIAL LIFE THAN I.
IT'S HUMILIATING.
- GWYNETH, I'LL TAKE
YOU TO THE CONCERT.
- YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT TICKETS?
- I KNOW ONE OF THE USHERS.
HE CAN SNEAK US
INTO STANDING ROOM.
- MY CUP RUNNETH OVER.
- GWYNETH, WE'RE
OUTSIDERS, REMEMBER?
WE DWELL ON LONELY MOUNTAINTOPS.
THINGS LIKE FANCY PHONOGRAPHS
AND LOBSTER DINNERS
MEAN NOTHING TO US.
- BALONEY?
- OH, CHRISSIE, THANK YOU.
- MY DEAR.
- AM I SIPPING TOO FAST?
THE SECOND MOVEMENT
WAS A SHADE TOO ANDANTE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
GWYNETH, IT'S GONNA RAIN.
LET'S GO FOR A
WALK, HUH? GWYNETH?
- HI, GWYNETH.
- WHY, HELLO, MASON.
- LOOKS LIKE A STORM COMING UP.
CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT
HOME IN MY CONVERTIBLE?
TOP UP, OF COURSE.
- OH, THAT WOULD BE JUST DREAMY.
- GWYNETH, YOU'RE WITH
ME. I'M YOUR DATE, REMEMBER?
- IT'S STILL EARLY THOUGH.
MAYBE WE COULD GO
DANCING SOMEWHERE.
- OH, I'D ADORE TO.
- UNLESS YOU'RE TIED UP.
- OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
DOBIE WON'T MIND.
- YES, I WILL.
- GOODBYE, DOBIE.
- GWYN, ARE YOU
REALLY DOING THIS TO ME?
- WITH A SONG IN MY HEART.
- GWYNETH.
- DON'T WORRY, DOBIE. MY
DOOR'S ALWAYS OPEN TO YOU.
- IT IS?
- OF COURSE.
THE ONLY THING IS THE
NEXT TIME YOU WALK IN...
- YES?
- BRING MONEY.
- WHAT'S THIS FOR?
- OUR SPECIALTY. IT'S
CALLED BANANARAMA.
- BUT I DIDN'T ORDER IT.
ANYWAY, IT MUST COST A FORTUNE.
- FOR YOU, NO CHARGE.
IT'S SERVED WITH COMPLIMENTS
OF YOUNG GENTLEMAN.
- I'VE GOT NO GIRL. WHY?
BECAUSE I'VE GOT NO MONEY.
AND TO GET GWYNETH
BACK, I NEED MONEY,
GREAT, GREEN GOBS OF IT.
BUT WHERE? HOW? NOW,
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
IT'S NOT AS IF I HAVEN'T MADE
AN HONEST EFFORT TO GET SOME.
[ CASH REGISTER RINGS ]
- DOBIE.
- YES, DAD?
- ARE YOU HELPING YOURSELF
FROM THE CASH REGISTER?
- YES, DAD. MAY I?
- NO, YOU MAY NOT.
- BUT I'LL PAY IT BACK, DAD,
SOON AS MY SHIP COMES IN.
- WHAT SHIP IS
THAT, THE TITANIC?
- CAN'T I JUST A LITTLE?
- NOT ONE, THIN, SCRAWNY DIME.
- GOSH.
- BUT IT'S SURE GOOD TO SEE
YOU BACK IN THERE TRYING, BOY.
WELCOME HOME, SON.
- SO HERE I AM, A LOST,
LONELY, LOVELORN WRECK
BECAUSE CHRISSIE TYLER
TURNED GWYNETH'S LOVELY HEAD
WITH HIS ILL-GOTTEN GOLD.
YES, ILL-GOTTEN.
DOES CHRISSIE WORK IN
THE FIELDS FOR HIS MONEY?
DOES HE SIT AT A FACTORY BENCH?
NO.
HE GETS IT BY EXPLOITING
THOSE POOR KIDS.
YOU KNOW, SOMEBODY OUGHT
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT,
PUT A STOP TO IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
SOMEBODY'S GONNA.
FRIENDS! FRIENDS,
I HAVE COME HERE
TO LIBERATE YOU FROM YOUR BONDS,
TO LEAD YOU OUT OF THE
DARK VALLEY OF SLAVERY
INTO THE SUNLIGHT OF FREEDOM.
- WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
- HE HASN'T SAID YET.
- CHRISSIE TYLER'S
EXPLOITING YOU.
HE'S LIVING LIKE A LORD OFF
THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROWS.
- WILL YOU PLEASE TELL US
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
- ALL RIGHT, I WILL.
CHRISSIE TYLER
MAY GET YOUR JOBS,
BUT WHO DOES ALL
THE WORK? YOU DO.
WHO FEEDS THE BABY HIS
CREAM OF MUSH? YOU DO.
WHO HAS TO CHANGE
AND DIAPER HIM? YOU DO.
BUT, BUT... WHO'S
MAKING ALL THE MONEY?
- CHRISSIE TYLER.
- CHRISSIE TYLER.
- WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
- THEN WALK OUT, STRIKE.
- BUT WE NEED THE JOBS.
- WHAT DO WE DO
FOR SPENDING MONEY?
- OH, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED
THAT QUESTION, FRIEND.
THE DOBIE GILLIS SITTER SERVICE
IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS.
SIGN UP WITH ME, AND I'LL GET
YOU ALL THE JOBS YOU WANT.
- HOORAY!
- YOU WON'T HAVE TO
PAY ANY COMMISSION.
- YAY! YAY!
- HARDLY ANY, JUST A SMALL
FEE TO COVER OVERHEAD.
- WHERE DO WE SIGN UP?
- RIGHT THIS WAY, FRIENDS.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
GILLIS SITTER SERVICE.
YES, MA'AM, RIGHT AWAY.
UH, 14 ELM DRIVE, WILKINS.
- GOSH. THANKS, MR. GILLIS.
- THAT'LL BE 25 CENTS.
- GEE, CHRIS USED TO
CHARGE US HALF A BUCK.
- WELL, I'M NOT IN THIS
FOR THE MONEY, SON.
I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU
KIDS GET A START IN LIFE.
- YOU'RE ALL HEART, SIR.
- THAT'S TRUE, SON.
I'LL REMEMBER YOU.
YOU SEE BEFORE YOU A TYCOON,
A MAN OF IMPORTANCE
IN THE COMMUNITY.
NOW WHEN I WALK DOWN THE STREET
THEY DON'T SAY, "THERE GOES
THAT PENNILESS DOBIE GILLIS."
NO, SIR. NOW THEY SAY,
THERE GOES THAT WEALTHY,
PENNILESS DOBIE GILLIS.
THIS SUIT IS A SYMBOL
OF MY NEW STATUS IN LIFE,
BANKER'S GREY.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT QUITE TIME
TO WEAR IT IN PUBLIC YET.
I MEAN, I'M READY.
BUT I'M AFRAID THE PUBLIC ISN'T.
AND I STILL HAVE THAT
OTHER INDUSTRIAL GIANT,
CHRISSIE TYLER, TO DISPOSE OF.
- STEP RIGHT UP, FRIENDS,
FREE LEMONADE AND COOKIES
TO EVERYBODY WHO
WORKS FOR TYLER TENDING,
TYLER TENDING, THE SITTER
SERVICE WITH A HEART.
- LIVE IT UP, KIDS.
IT'S ALL FREE,
COMPLIMENTS OF THE
GILLIS SITTER SERVICE,
THE WORKERS' FRIEND.
HERE YOU ARE, MY
DEAR. JUST TAKE THAT.
- FREE KITTENS
TO ALL LOYAL EMPLOYEES
OF TYLER TENDING.
STEP RIGHT UP AND GET
YOURSELF A LITTLE PAL.
- VANDERBILT, CARNEGIE,
ROCKEFELLER, AND NOW GILLIS.
AT LAST I KNOW HOW IT
FEELS TO HAVE POWER
AND GUIDE THE
DESTINIES OF OTHERS.
I ONLY WISH I HAD IT SO EASY
WITH ELEMENTARY ALGEBRA.
BUT, YOU SEE, OUT
HERE IN THE PARK,
WITH MY OFFICE IN MY HAT,
I'M SORT OF LIKE A
17-YEAR-OLD DADDY WARBUCKS,
COUNSELING, ADVISING,
HELPING THE ORDINARY PEOPLE.
THE GILLIS SITTER SERVICE
OFFERS YOU SECURITY,
THE SIX-HOUR WEEK,
VACATIONS WITH PAY,
AND WHEN YOU RETIRE
AT 16, OLD-AGE PENSIONS.
- HEY, MR. GILLIS, LOOK.
- LOOKING FOR ME, TYLER?
- YES, DOBIE.
I'M LICKED. CAN YOU
USE AN EXTRA SITTER?
- HMM, HAVE YOU
HAD ANY EXPERIENCE?
- PLEASE, DOBIE. I'VE GOT
TO MAKE SOME MONEY.
HERMIONE HAS VERY
EXPENSIVE TASTES.
- OKAY, CHRISSIE. YOU
CAN COME TO WORK FOR ME.
- GEE, THANKS.
- IN FACT, I'LL LET YOU
MANAGE THE BUSINESS FOR ME.
AFTER ALL, WITH YOUR KNOW-HOW...
- I'LL WORK HARD, DOBIE.
- THEN YOU CAN START RIGHT NOW.
AND IT'S MR. GILLIS.
I THINK I'LL TAKE
THE EVENING OFF
AND DROP IN ON A
CERTAIN GIRL I KNOW.
- GIVE HERMIONE MY REGARDS.
- I WILL, SON.
GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD.
- THANKS.
- OH, AND, CHRISSIE?
- YES, MR. GILLIS?
- KEEP YOUR MITTS
OUT OF THE PETTY CASH.
- WHY, DOBIE.
- JUST HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,
DRIVING THROUGH
IN MY CONVERTIBLE
WITH POWER STEERING,
WHITEWALL TIRES,
AND A HI-FI AM AND FM RADIO.
- YOU BOUGHT A CONVERTIBLE?
- WELL, I RENTED IT,
BUT I MAY DECIDE
TO HANG ON TO IT.
- OH, DOBIE.
- IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE FREE,
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT
DINE TOGETHER.
- YOU MEAN EAT OUT?
- OF COURSE.
ONE HEARS THERE'S A LITTLE SPOT
IN TOWN CALLED LOBSTER HEAVEN
WHERE THE CUISINE
IS NOT UNSPEAKABLE.
- DOBIE, I CAN'T.
- HUH?
- I DON'T LIKE LOBSTER. IT
MAKES ME BREAK OUT IN SPOTS.
- WELL, COULDN'T YOU
ORDER SOMETHING ELSE?
- DOBIE, IT'S NO USE.
- BUT I HAD THE WHOLE
EVENING PLANNED,
LOBSTER DINNER,
DANCING UNDER THE STARS.
I WAS EVEN GONNA STOP
AND GET YOU ORCHIDS.
- ORCHIDS MAKE
ME BREAK OUT, TOO.
DOBIE, I FOUND OUT I
DON'T LIKE FANCY LIVING.
AT HEART, I AM AN OUTSIDER.
- YOU ARE?
WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL
'CAUSE, DEEP DOWN, SO AM I.
THIS GLITTER, THIS GLAMOUR,
THIS ISN'T THE REAL ME.
- NO, DOBIE, IT'S TOO LATE.
- NO, IT ISN'T.
LOOK, HERE'S THE $20 I WAS GONNA
SPEND ON US TONIGHT. WATCH.
- OH, DOBIE, DON'T.
- FOR YOU, I'D DO IT GLADLY.
- DOBIE, IT'S NO USE. I'M IN
LOVE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE NOW.
- HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?
- I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
- IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
- WITH US, TOO.
- HE'S A REMARKABLE PERSON,
A SIMPLE, UNAFFECTED
CHILD OF NATURE.
- LIKE... LIKE, HI.
- MAYNARD, YOU SNAKE.
- GEE, I'M, LIKE, SORRY, DOBIE,
BUT I THOUGHT YOU AND
GWYNETH WERE, LIKE, SPLITSVILLE.
COME ON, CHICK. WE'LL
BE LATE FOR THE CONCERT.
- YOU'RE GOING TO A CONCERT?
- YEAH, I'M ON A
LONG HAIR KICK NOW.
MAN, THAT BEETHOVEN
IS REAL GONE.
- BEETHOVEN, MAYNARD, BEETHOVEN.
I'M A HUSK, AN EMPTY SHELL,
A BROKEN MAN WITH
NOWHERE TO TURN.
BUT I'LL FORGET ABOUT GIRLS
AND BURY MYSELF IN BUSINESS.
I'LL BECOME A
CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY,
COLD, RUTHLESS, HARD AS STEEL.
WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT
MADE ME SO MEAN AND CRUEL,
I'LL LOOK AT THEM AND
SAY JUST TWO WORDS:
GWYNETH KRAUSMEYER.
- MR. GILLIS.
- YES, ELLEN.
- WE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT.
- WHAT?
- WE DIDN'T NEED CHRISSIE.
WE DON'T NEED YOU EITHER.
- WE'RE STARTING OUR
OWN SITTER SERVICE.
- I'M PRESIDENT.
- AND I'M VICE-PRESIDENT.
- I'M SECRETARY.
- I'M TREASURER.
- I'M DEAD.
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪