The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959–1963): Season 1, Episode 19 - Room at the Bottom - full transcript
Thalia wants Dobie to go to Willoughby Hall, an exclusive eastern school, and befriend the sons of wealthy bankers (an idea that also captures Mr. Gillis' fancy in a dream sequence). All Dobie wants is Thalia's love, but to win her heart he must get a 100 on his math test. To what depth will he sink for love?
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ DOBIE! ♪
- I'M TAKING
MATHEMATICS AT SCHOOL.
I HATE IT.
YOU TAKE MOST OF THE
TROUBLE IN THE WORLD TODAY,
WHAT'S BEHIND IT?
MATH, THAT'S WHAT.
I MEAN, WITHOUT MATH,
THERE WOULDN'T
H-BOMBS OR INCOME TAX
OR INSUFFICIENT
FUNDS AT THE BANK
OR THALIA MENNINGER.
- PAY ATTENTION!
- YES, DOBIE, KINDLY
PAY ATTENTION.
YOU OF ALL PEOPLE,
KINDLY PAY ATTENTION.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
- REMEMBER, THERE'LL
BE A QUIZ TOMORROW,
SO COME PREPARED FOR THE WORST.
CLASS?
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF
DOBIE GILLIS, YOU STAY.
I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU. DISMISSED!
- MAYNARD, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- OH, I'M WITH DOBIE. I MEAN,
WHEREVER HE GOES, I GO.
I MEAN, HE'S, LIKE,
MY GOOD BUDDY.
- WELL, THAT'S VERY TOUCHING,
MAYNARD, BUT GOODBYE.
- DON'T YOU WANNA
TALK TO ME TOO?
- I WANT TO, BUT HOW?
- MAYNARD, I BELIEVE
A TEACHER'S DUTY
IS TO HELP HER STUDENTS
ALL SHE CAN, BUT LET'S FACE IT.
IN SOME CASES, YOU
JUST CAN'T MAKE CONTACT.
- GEE, LIKE, THANKS, MRS. ADAMS.
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU IN THE PARK.
IF YOU'RE IN ANY TROUBLE,
JUST, LIKE, HOLLER.
- I MUST SAY, YOU
HAVE LOYAL FRIENDS.
- OH, IT'S NOTHING.
- YOU'RE WRONG,
DOBIE. IT'S SOMETHING.
ANYBODY WHO CAN INSPIRE
THIS KIND OF LOYALTY
IS PRETTY SPECIAL.
- I APPRECIATE THAT, MRS.
ADAMS, BUT, PLEASE, MA'AM,
COULD WE KIND OF
HURRY IT UP A LITTLE?
THALIA MIGHT BE WAITING FOR ME.
- NOW THERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE
OF THE WAY YOU ENDEAR YOURSELF
TO PEOPLE, THALIA MENNINGER.
- UH-HUH, YEAH.
- AS FOR MAYNARD,
HONESTY COMPELS ME TO SAY
THAT HE IS A TRIFLE ECCENTRIC,
BUT THALIA? THERE'S
A HARD-HEADED GIRL.
- CARBORUNDUM.
- YES, AND YET SHE
STICKS WITH YOU.
- WELL, NO, NO. ACTUALLY,
SHE KIND OF THROWS
ME OUT ALL THE TIME.
- WELL, BUT SHE KIND OF
COMES BACK ALL THE TIME.
ISN'T THAT TRUE?
- YEAH, YEAH, I GUESS SO.
- IT'S A FACT, DOBIE.
- YEAH.
- THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
I KNOW, BUT I HAVE EYES.
I CAN'T HELP NOTICING THINGS.
THALIA LOVES YOU,
MAYNARD LOVES YOU.
IN FACT, EVERYBODY
LOVES YOU. WHY?
- WHY?
- BECAUSE YOU'RE SPECIAL, DOBIE.
YOU'RE A VERY RARE BOY
AND THAT'S WHAT'S
GOT ME WORRIED.
HOW CAN SOMEBODY
WITH YOUR CAPABILITIES
GET SUCH TERRIBLE MARKS?
- THAT'S A GOOD
QUESTION, MRS. ADAMS.
IT BUGS ME, IT REALLY DOES.
- WELL, IT BUGS ME TOO.
TEACHING IS A CALLING,
NOT A BUSINESS.
I'M HERE TO HELP
YOU, TO GUIDE YOU,
TO SET YOUR FEET
ON A SHINING PATH
INTO A BEAUTIFUL,
GLORIOUS FUTURE.
- HEY, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- VERY MOVING.
- OH, HELLO, DEAR.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND AND
MY SON, DAN. DOBIE GILLIS.
- HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HI, DAN.
- HI.
- WELL, I'LL BE GOING
NOW, MRS. ADAMS.
- YEAH. BUT, DOBIE, REMEMBER
I AM HERE TO HELP YOU.
CALL ON ME ANY HOUR, ANY TIME.
- I'LL DO THAT. NICE
TO MEET YOU, SIR.
GOODBYE, GOODBYE.
- MAYBE THE KID COULD
COME AND LIVE WITH US.
- OH, ESMOND, I HAVE TOLD
YOU A THOUSAND TIMES...
- YEAH, YEAH, TEACHING IS
A CALLING, NOT A BUSINESS.
- EXACTLY. THAT BOY
IS WORTH EVERY MINUTE
THAT I CAN GIVE HIM.
- WELL, I KNOW A
COUPLE OF OTHER BOYS
THAT'D LIKE A LITTLE
OF YOUR TIME TOO,
THIS BOY AND THIS BOY.
- I STAND CORRECTED.
AND HOW ARE YOU, LAMBIE-PIE?
HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?
- I HATE SCHOOL!
- THAT'S MY BOY!
- MAYNARD?
- YOU RANG?
- HOW COME YOU KEEP FOLLOWING
DOBIE AROUND ALL THE TIME?
- BECAUSE HE'S,
LIKE, MY GOOD BUDDY.
- I SEE.
- HOW COME YOU KEEP FOLLOWING
HIM AROUND ALL THE TIME?
- I DON'T.
- YOU GAS ME, GIRL.
I MEAN, YOU LEAVE ME LIMP.
- I GAVE DOBIE BACK HIS HI-Y
PIN 12 TIMES IN THE LAST MONTH.
- SO WHAT'S THAT
ON YOUR SWEATER?
- WELL, I'M GIVING IT
BACK AGAIN TODAY.
THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO SEE HIM.
- SORRY I'M LATE, THALIA, BABY,
BUT I GUESS IT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT
DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE?
- DON'T FIGHT IT,
THALIA. YOU LOVE ME.
MAYNARD LOVES ME.
- TRUE.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
ME. I'M LOVABLE.
- WHO SAYS SO?
- JUST MRS. ADAMS, THAT'S ALL.
- BIG DEAL. I'VE KNOWN YOU
WERE LOVABLE FOR YEARS.
- YOU HAVE? SO HOW COME
YOU KEEP DUMPING ME?
- LOOK, DOBIE, YOU'RE LOVABLE,
BUT THAT'S ALL YOU ARE, LOVABLE.
ARE YOU SMART? NO.
ARE YOU TALENTED? NO.
ARE YOU AGGRESSIVE? NO.
ARE YOU EVER GOING
TO BE A SUCCESS?
- NO.
- NO.
- I WAS WONDERING
WHEN THE CONVERSATION WAS
GONNA GET AROUND TO MONEY.
- WILL YOU KINDLY
TELL YOUR FRIEND
THAT I DO NOT HAPPEN
TO CARE ABOUT MONEY!
- THAT'S RIGHT, MAYNARD.
THALIA DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
MONEY, NOT FOR HERSELF, THAT IS.
BUT HER FATHER'S...
- 60 YEARS OLD AND
HAS A KIDNEY CONDITION.
- AND HER MOTHER...
- ISN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
- AND HER SISTER...
- IS MARRIED TO A LOAFER.
- AND HER BROTHER...
- IS TURNING INTO
A PUBLIC CHARGE.
- SO IT'S UP TO THALIA TO...
- TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY!
- YEAH.
- YEAH, MAYBE WE COULD,
LIKE, TAKE UP A COLLECTION.
- DON'T GET SMART.
- YEAH.
- LOOK, I HAVE A
RESPONSIBILITY TO MY FAMILY.
I MEAN, IF MY FATHER HADN'T
PUT BRACES ON MY TEETH
AND SENT ME TO DANCING SCHOOL
SO I COULD BE
BEAUTIFUL AND GRACEFUL
AND CHARMING THE WAY I AM,
WELL, THEN MAYBE HE WOULDN'T
HAVE A KIDNEY CONDITION.
AND YOU AREN'T HELPING ANYTHING!
- ME?
- YEAH, YOU.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE A
POOR MAN AS LONG AS YOU LIVE
AND HERE'S YOUR
HI-Y PIN. GOODBYE!
- WELL, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING THAT FOR?
YOU'LL JUST TAKE
IT BACK NEXT WEEK.
DON'T FORGET, I'M LOVABLE.
- WELL, TRUE, ALL
RIGHT. YOU'RE LOVABLE.
AND MAYBE I'M STUCK ON YOU,
BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, MISTER,
IF I REALLY PUT MY MIND TO IT,
I CAN FORGET YOU COMPLETELY.
YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?
- THALIA, YOU WOULDN'T.
- I WOULD AND I WILL UNLESS...
- YES, MY DARLING, YES,
MY GREAT TAWNY ANIMAL.
- QUIT CENTRAL HIGH AND
GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- YOU MEAN THAT FANCY
PREP SCHOOL BACK EAST
WHERE ALL THOSE RICH CATS GO?
- THALIA, WHAT CAN
YOU BE THINKING OF?
- I'M THINKING OF YOUR FUTURE.
LOOK, YOU HAVE ONE ASSET,
ONE LOUSY LITTLE
ASSET. YOU'RE LOVABLE.
THAT ISN'T GOING TO
GET YOU VERY FAR.
- THALIA...
- YOU HAVE TO HAVE CONTACTS NOW
AT WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT!
I'M NOT GONNA GO TO WILLOUGHBY
HALL OR ANYPLACE ELSE!
I'M GONNA STAY RIGHT
HERE WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE!
- YOU'RE GOING TO
STAY RIGHT HERE
WITHOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE.
- THALIA, YOU'RE COMING UNGLUED!
WHAT A CRAZY IDEA, MY
GOING AWAY TO SCHOOL!
NOW JUST FORGET ABOUT IT,
BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU
AND THERE'S NO WAY IN THE
WORLD YOU CAN MAKE ME!
- OH, ISN'T THERE?
- THERE'S NO WAY SHE CAN GET
ME TO GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL,
IS THERE, MAYNARD?
- OF COURSE NOT!
- OF COURSE NOT.
- Both: I WONDER HOW
SHE'S GONNA DO IT!
- I GOTTA KILL THAT
BOY. I JUST GOT TO.
- OH, CALM DOWN, HERBERT.
YOU WERE YOUNG ONCE.
- NEVER THAT YOUNG.
WHERE IS THAT KID ANYWAY?
A WHOLE TRUCKLOAD OF GROCERIES
IN THE BACK ROOM TO BE UNPACKED
AND HE ISN'T HOME FROM SCHOOL.
WHAT'S HE GOT?
RADAR OR SOMETHING?
HOW DOES HE ALWAYS KNOW
WHEN THERE'S WORK TO
BE DONE AROUND HERE?
- HELLO, MR. GILLIS,
MRS. GILLIS.
- HELLO, THALIA, DEAR.
- HAVE YOU SEEN DOBIE?
- YES, BUT IT DIDN'T
DO ANY GOOD.
- IT NEVER DOES.
- I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU...
- HEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
IT DIDN'T DO ANY GOOD?
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'VE
COME TO SEE YOU ABOUT.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- YOU MEAN THE PREP
SCHOOL BACK EAST?
- YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S A FINE SCHOOL AND LOTS
OF RICH PEOPLE GO THERE.
- LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE,
BUT WHAT'S THIS GOT
TO DO WITH DOBIE?
- WELL, I WANT YOU TO SEND
DOBIE TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- I'LL SEND HIM TO THE
HOSPITAL, THE BUM.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT
COSTS TO GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- YES. I HAVE THE RATES AND
THE INFORMATION RIGHT HERE.
UH-UH, IT'S
EXPENSIVE, ALL RIGHT.
BUT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
IT'S AN INVESTMENT
IN DOBIE'S FUTURE.
- FUTURE? WHAT FUTURE?
THIS KID HAS GOT TO WIND
UP LIVING OFF THE COUNTY.
- THAT WILL BE ENOUGH
OF THAT, HERBERT GILLIS!
DOBIE'S A FINE BOY WITH A GOOD
MIND AND A GREAT POTENTIAL.
AND I AM NOT GOING TO STAND HERE
LISTENING TO YOU
RUNNING HIM DOWN!
I HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT WILLOUGHBY HALL
MIGHT BE JUST THE
PLACE FOR DOBIE.
HE'S BRIGHT AND
SENSITIVE AND INTELLIGENT
AND MAYBE WHAT HE NEEDS
IS TO BROADEN HIS VISTAS
AND ROUND OUT HIS PERSONALITY,
AND GET AWAY FROM
YOU FOR A WHILE!
- I'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT.
WHAT IS DOBIE'S BEST QUALITY?
- I GIVE UP.
- HE'S LOVABLE, THAT'S WHAT.
NOW EVERYBODY THAT
KNOWS HIM LOVES HIM.
NOW WHEN DOBIE GOES
TO WILLOUGHBY HALL,
HE GETS PUT IN A DORMITORY
AND HAS A ROOMMATE.
NOW WHO IS THAT
ROOMMATE GOING TO BE?
HE'S GOING TO BE A RICH
MAN'S SON, THAT'S WHO.
AND LIVING WITH DOBIE,
HE'S GOTTA LOVE HIM.
I MEAN, IT'S INEVITABLE.
SO DOBIE'S GOT A FRIEND,
A RICH, POWERFUL FRIEND
WHOSE FATHER OWNS A
BANK OR A FACTORY MAYBE.
NOW, THIS ROOMMATE
INTRODUCES DOBIE TO HIS FATHER
AND HE SAYS, "DAD, THIS IS
MY ROOMMATE, DOBIE GILLIS,
"WHO'S GOOD AND LOYAL AND TRUE
AND THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD.
"NOW DO YOU THINK YOU COULD FIND
A PLACE FOR HIM
IN THE BUSINESS?"
AND THE FATHER SAYS, "SON,
IF HE'S A FRIEND OF YOURS,
"HE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF DOBIE GILLIS."
AND THAT'S JUST MY
POINT. DON'T YOU SEE?
SOMEBODY HAS TO
TAKE CARE OF DOBIE.
NOW WHERE DO YOU WANT HIM?
STANDING IN THE LINE
OF A SOUP KITCHEN
OR PRESIDENT OF A
BANK? MAKE YOUR CHOICE.
- I'VE MADE MY CHOICE.
THE ANSWER IS NO.
- VERY WELL, MR. GILLIS.
IT'S ON YOUR CONSCIENCE.
I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD DO!
- DOBIE, OLD BEAN, I DON'T
WANT TO GET MISTY ABOUT IT,
BUT ROOMING WITH YOU HAS
BEEN ABSOLUTELY TOP-HOLE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE A SPLENDID
FELLOW, FIRST RATE.
- AH, I'M JUST LOVABLE IS ALL.
- YOU ARE THAT.
DOBIE, IF IT SHOULD EVER
FALL IN MY LIFE TO REPAY YOU
FOR BEING SUCH A DECENT SORT,
I HOPE YOU'LL NOT
FAIL TO CALL ON ME.
- SHUCKS, WINTHROP, JUST
BEING LOVABLE IS ENOUGH FOR ME.
- HELLO, SON!
- POPSY, WHAT A
DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE!
- I HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
FORECLOSING A FEW PROPERTIES,
SO I THOUGHT I'D POP IN.
- WELL, HOW JOLLY!
POPSY, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO
MEET MY LOYAL, TRUE, DEVOTED,
KINDLY, DEPENDABLE, LOVABLE
ROOMMATE, DOBIE GILLIS.
DOBIE, THIS IS DAD,
WINTHROP VAN MONEY VII.
- I'M HONORED, SIR.
- WELL, GILLIS,
ANYONE WHO'S BEEN SUCH
A LOYAL, TRUE, DEVOTED,
KINDLY, DEPENDABLE,
LOVABLE ROOMMATE TO MY SON
NEED NEVER GO WANTING
AS LONG AS THERE'S LIFE
IN THIS PROSPEROUS BODY.
GILLIS, YOU WILL START MONDAY
AS CHIEF TELLER AT THE
FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
AFTER AN APPROPRIATE PERIOD
OF LEARNING THE BUSINESS,
WELL, I SHALL GIVE YOU A
LITTLE BANK OF YOUR OWN.
- THANK YOU, SIR. YOU'RE
A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- DAD, WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE!
- HELLO, SON. I JUST HAPPENED
TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
DELIVERING SOME GROCERIES
AND THOUGHT I'D DROP IN.
- OH.
- ARE YOU IN THE
GROCERY LINE, MR. GILLIS?
- WELL, IN A SMALL WAY, SIR.
- NOT ANYMORE,
MR. GILLIS, NOT SMALL.
ANY FATHER OF DOBIE GILLIS
NEED NEVER WANT FOR ANYTHING
AS LONG AS THERE'S LIFE
IN THIS PROSPEROUS BODY.
TOMORROW, SIR, I SHALL BUY
YOU A CHAIN OF SUPERMARKETS
EXTENDING FROM KEY WEST,
FLORIDA TO FAIRBANKS, ALASKA,
SIDE BY SIDE, NO
SPACES IN BETWEEN.
- DAD? DAD?
- OH, HELLO, SON.
- ABOUT THAT LOAD
OF CANNED GOODS
IN THE BACK ROOM.
- SKIP IT, SKIP IT.
THAT'S NOT FOR YOU
BECAUSE, AFTER ALL,
YOU'RE LOYAL AND
TRUE AND DEPENDABLE...
- ME?
- AND KINDLY
AND DEVOTED AND LOVABLE.
- ME?
- SON, YOUR MOTHER
AND I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH
AND WE WANT THE
ABSOLUTE BEST FOR YOU,
NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS.
- DAD, YOU MEAN I CAN HAVE
THAT NEW PAIR OF SHOES?
- NEW SHOES?
[ LAUGH ]
YOU HAVE SHOES
YOU NEVER EVEN WEAR.
NOW BRACE YOURSELF
FOR A WONDERFUL SURPRISE.
YOU ARE GOING TO
WILLOUGHBY HALL!
- WILLOUGHBY HALL? OH, NO!
- TUT-TUT, MY BOY.
- OH, NO!
- HANG THE EXPENSE. NOTHING
IS TOO GOOD FOR MY SON!
- NO, I'M NOT
GOING! I WON'T DO IT!
- OH, YES, YOU WILL
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
AND I WANT THE VERY BEST FOR YOU
AND YOU'LL GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL
OR I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN
THAT STUPID HEAD OF YOURS!
- THALIA MENNINGER,
YOU ARE A RAT!
- YEAH.
- A RAT? OH, THAT CAN
ONLY MEAN ONE THING.
YOU'RE GOING TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- YOU OUGHT TO
KNOW. YOU FIXED IT.
- YOU RAT!
- OH, WELL, THAT'S A
FINE WAY TO THANK ME.
- THANK YOU FOR WHAT? I'LL BE
HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY FROM YOU,
ONE DREARY, LONELY,
MISERABLE DAY AFTER ANOTHER.
- OH, YOU POOR FOOL. DON'T
YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR GIRL?
- MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.
- THEN GO TO WILLOUGHBY
HALL, MAKE CONTACTS,
BE A SUCCESS AND
AMOUNT TO SOMETHING.
- BUT YOU LOVE ME.
- I KNOW, BUT I
CAN'T BE SELFISH.
I'VE GOT TO THINK OF MY FAMILY.
- YOU MEAN, YOUR FATHER'S...
- KIDNEY CONDITION.
- ISN'T HE GETTING ANY BETTER?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S
HARDLY SOMETHING YOU TALK ABOUT.
- OH, OF COURSE, YEAH.
- NOW, LOOK, DOBIE,
STOP MOPING AROUND.
WILLOUGHBY HALL IS YOUR
GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.
- LISTEN, THALIA,
WHAT IF I SETTLE DOWN
AND TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF?
I MEAN, STARTED GETTING
GOOD GRADES AND EVERYTHING?
- GOOD MARKS? WHY, TOMORROW
WE'RE HAVING A MATH TEST
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO
FLUNK WITH A BIG THUD.
- I'M NOT GONNA FLUNK!
I'M GONNA GET 100 ON IT!
- BOY, YOU ARE SICK. I
MEAN, YOU NEED ATTENTION.
- IF I GET 100 ON THE
MATH TEST TOMORROW,
WILL YOU LET ME STAY
HERE AND BE MY GIRL?
- IF YOU GET 100 ON IT,
I'LL PULL YOU ALL AROUND
TOWN IN A RICKSHAW.
- NEVER MIND THE JOKES!
ANSWER MY QUESTION!
- ALL RIGHT, DOBIE.
IF YOU GET 100 IN THE
MATH TEST, I'M YOURS.
- I'M GONNA DO IT,
MAYNARD, I'M GONNA DO IT.
- YOU GOT A PLAN?
- WELL, PLAN IS TOO
STRONG A WORD.
IT'S MORE LIKE HOPE, A
LITTLE, THIN, PUNY HOPE.
- TELL YOUR OLD BUDDY.
- WELL, MRS. ADAMS, YOU
KNOW, THE MATH TEACHER?
WELL, SHE SAID SHE
WANTED TO HELP ME
AND TO CALL ON HER AT ANY
HOUR ANY TIME IF I WAS IN TROUBLE.
- FRIEND, YOU AIN'T NEVER
BEEN IN BIGGER TROUBLE.
LET'S FLY.
- YEAH.
- DARLING, PLEASE?
IT'S THE MATH TEST FOR TOMORROW
AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANT, HONEY.
I'M JUST DOUBLE-CHECKING IT.
- SWELL. RUTHIE, I WANT TO
REMIND YOU OF SOMETHING.
YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND.
- WHOM I ADORE!
DARLING, IF TEACHING
EVER CAME BETWEEN US,
I'D GIVE IT UP IN A MINUTE.
BUT YOU WORK ALL DAY
AND DAN GOES TO SCHOOL
AND I CAN'T JUST SIT
AROUND AND BE USELESS
WHEN THERE'S SUCH A
CRYING NEED FOR TEACHERS.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, RUTHIE. AND
AS YOU KNOW, I'M ALL FOR IT.
BUT YOU KNOW I GOT TO THINKING,
IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE WE
WENT ANYWHERE OR DID ANYTHING.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO TO
A MOVIE TONIGHT RIGHT NOW?
- THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
- WELL, GREAT. THERE'S
A GOOD ONE AT THE BIJOU.
I THINK WE JUST GOT TIME
TO CATCH THE FIRST FEATURE.
- HAVEN'T WE FORGOTTEN
JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING?
- OH, YEAH, THE KID.
WELL, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WE'LL GET A SITTER FOR HIM.
- AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO FIND A SITTER AT THIS HOUR?
- WELL, HE'S IN BED.
COULDN'T WE JUST SNEAK
OUT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS?
- THE ANSWER IS NO,
NO ON TWO COUNTS.
ONE, WE CANNOT SNEAK
OUT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS
AND, TWO, HE IS NOT IN
BED. REGARDEZ THE K-I-D.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
[ LAUGH ]
- HI, SLUGGER.
- COME ON, YOU.
- MR. ADAMS, I'M DOBIE GILLIS. WE
MET AT SCHOOL THIS AFTERNOON.
- OH, YES.
- UH-HUH,
AND THIS IS MY FRIEND,
MAYNARD G. KREBS.
- LIKE, HI.
- LIKE, HI.
- I'LL TELL YOU WHY WE
DROPPED BY, MR. ADAMS.
- OH, PRAY DO.
- UH-HUH.
WELL, YOU SEE,
SIR, THIS AFTERNOON
MRS. ADAMS, YOUR
WIFE, YOU KNOW...
- I REMEMBER HER VIVIDLY.
- WELL, SHE SAID SHE WANTED
TO HELP ME AND THAT I SHOULD...
- I HEARD.
- CALL ON HER ANY
TIME, ANY HOUR,
IF I WAS EVER IN
TROUBLE WHICH I AM NOW.
- SO YOU THOUGHT YOU'D COME
OVER FOR A LITTLE PRIVATE TUTORING?
- YEAH, I GUESS YOU
COULD CALL IT THAT, YES.
- YOU TOO?
- OH, NO.
I JUST GO WHERE DOBIE GOES.
I'M, LIKE, HIS BEST BUDDY.
- UH-HUH.
- ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T WANT
TO COME HERE AT ALL.
I WAS GOING TO THE BIJOU.
THERE'S A GAS OF A MOVIE THERE.
- SO I'VE HEARD.
- YEAH. I SAW IT SIX TIMES.
I WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN.
IT'S, LIKE, THE LAST NIGHT.
- BOYS, COME IN AND SIT DOWN.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- LET ME ASK YOU
A QUESTION, BOYS.
DO YOU LIKE MRS. ADAMS?
AS A TEACHER, I MEAN?
- OH, SHE'S FINE.
- SHE'S 100% WITH ME.
- THANKS, BOYS.
BOYS, YOU KNOW WHAT
A TEACHER'S LIFE IS?
WELL, IT'S LONG HOURS,
IT'S HARD WORK,
IT'S TEDIOUS DETAIL.
- HOW COME SHE DON'T KICK IT?
- BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO HELP YOU, AND YOU.
- OH, SHE'S ALL
HEART, THAT WOMAN.
- IF YOU COULD BRIGHTEN
HER LIFE A LITTLE,
IF YOU COULD BRING HER ONE
SMALL MOMENT OF PLEASURE,
YOU'D DO IT, WOULDN'T YOU?
- SURE, BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?
- YOU CAN SIT WITH
OUR LITTLE BOY TONIGHT
WHILE I TAKE MRS.
ADAMS TO THE MOVIES,
WHILE I BRING A COUPLE
OF HOURS OF SUNSHINE
INTO HER DARK AND DISMAL LIFE.
NOW, BOYS, CAN YOU FIND IT
IN YOUR HEARTS TO SAY NO?
- NOT US, POPS!
- THANK YOU, BOYS! THANK YOU!
- WHY, MAYNARD, DOBIE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- THEY'RE GONNA
SIT WITH DAN TONIGHT
WHILE WE GO TO THE MOVIES.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
- WHAT?
- COME ON, DEAR,
LET'S NOT DAWDLE.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- HE'S RIGHT, MRS. ADAMS,
YOU BETTER GET MOVING.
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE PART
WHERE THE MONSTER
DEVOURS CLEVELAND.
- CLEVELAND?
- COME ON, DEAR, QUICKLY.
- ESMOND, I HAVE TO
HIDE THOSE TEST PAPERS
BECAUSE THOSE BOYS HAVE
TO TAKE THE TEST TOMORROW.
- OH, I GOT YOU, BABY.
BOYS, I DON'T THINK
THERE'LL BE ANY PROBLEM.
THE KID'S ROOM'S AT THE TOP
OF THE STAIRS TO THE LEFT,
THE KITCHEN'S OUT THERE
AND HERE'S THE PHONE.
THE PHONOGRAPH IS OVER THERE,
THE COOKIES ARE
IN THE COOKIE JAR,
THE ICE CREAM IS IN THE FREEZER,
GOD'S IN HIS HEAVEN AND
ALL'S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.
GOOD NIGHT, BOYS.
- MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL
EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO ME.
- YEAH, MAYBE SOMEDAY.
- THANKS. THANKS A LOT.
IT'S ALL I NEEDED
TONIGHT, BABYSITTING!
- AW, CHEER UP,
DOBE. IT AIN'T SO BAD.
- WELL, WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT IT?
- THEY GOT A RECORD PLAYER,
MAN, THEY GOT A RECORD PLAYER.
- BIG DEAL!
- OH, BOY. BRAHMS, MAHLER, BACH.
- IT'S BACH, MAYNARD, BACH.
- YEAH, BACH. WHERE'S THE
JAZZ? I CAN'T FIND NO JAZZ.
WHAT DO THEY NEED
WITH A RECORD PLAYER
IF THEY AIN'T GOT NO
JAZZ? MUST BE SOMEPLACE.
- MAYNARD? MAYNARD,
DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?
- YEAH. WHAT'S BUGGING YOU, MAN?
- MAYNARD, CONCENTRATE.
THIS IS THE QUIZ MRS. ADAMS
IS GONNA GIVE US TOMORROW.
WE'VE GOT IT RIGHT
HERE IN OUR HANDS.
NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
LOOK UP THE ANSWERS RIGHT NOW
AND TOMORROW WE
CAN GET 100 ON THE QUIZ.
AND IF I GET 100 ON THE QUIZ,
THEN I DON'T GO TO
WILLOUGHBY HALL.
I STAY RIGHT HERE WITH THALIA
AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL ONCE MORE!
- IT'S, LIKE, CHEATING, DOBIE.
- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.
- DOBE?
- LET'S DO IT?
- RIGHT.
- BUT JUST THIS ONCE.
- JUST THIS ONE.
- NEVER AGAIN.
- NEVER, NO.
- NOW GET A PENCIL AND PAPER.
FIRST QUESTION.
- THUS, ONE ENGLISHMAN WITH
IMAGINATION, ISAAC NEWTON
LYING UNDER AN APPLE TREE
ALTERED THE ENTIRE
COURSE OF CIVILIZATION.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
ON YOUR WAY OUT OF CLASS,
YOU MAY PICK UP
YOUR QUIZ PAPERS.
I'D LIKE DOBIE GILLIS AND
MAYNARD KREBS TO REMAIN BEHIND.
DISMISSED.
THAT'S VERY GOOD, THALIA.
- THANK YOU.
- WELL, WHY AREN'T
YOU SMILING, BOYS?
IT ISN'T OFTEN ANYONE
GETS 100 ON A MATH QUIZ.
- 100? DOBIE, LET ME SEE!
OH, DOBIE, YOU SAID
YOU'D DO IT AND YOU DID!
YOU TURNED OVER
A BRAND NEW LEAF!
OH, MY, I'M SO HAPPY!
- YOU MEAN I DON'T HAVE
TO GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- WILLOUGHBY HALL? NO, NO, NO.
I JUST THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE THE BEST THING
FOR YOU AND FOR US.
BUT NOW WE CAN BE TOGETHER
FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.
- IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME?
- NO, MA'AM.
- NOTHING AT ALL?
- NO, MA'AM.
- MAYNARD?
- I'M WITH DOBIE.
- I SEE. THAT'S ALL,
BOYS. YOU MAY GO.
- LET'S GO TO THE
ICE CREAM PARLOR.
THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.
OH, AND I'VE GOT A LITTLE
SHOCK FOR YOU. I'M BUYING.
- HI, RUTHIE!
- HI.
- DAN'S IN THE CAR. YOU READY?
WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER, RUTHIE?
- I THINK WHEN DOBIE AND
MAYNARD WERE SITTING FOR US,
THEY FOUND THE TEST QUESTIONS.
I THINK THEY
CHEATED ON THE EXAM.
- OH, COME ON, RUTHIE.
THEY LOOK LIKE A
COUPLE OF NICE KIDS.
WHAT MAKES YOU
SAY A THING LIKE THAT?
- DOBIE GOT 100 ON THE TEST.
- WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE.
- AND MAYNARD TOO.
- OH, THE ONE WITH THE...
- BEARD.
- OH, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
- THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO
EXCEPT NEVER TRUST
THOSE BOYS AGAIN.
THAT HURTS, DARLING.
BELIEVE ME, IT HURTS.
- MRS. ADAMS, I...
MRS. ADAMS.
MRS. ADAMS, I GOTTA
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
ALL LAST NIGHT, I COULDN'T
SLEEP, NOT ONE WINK.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- AND THIS MORNING, MY MOTHER
HAD GRIDDLECAKES FOR BREAKFAST
AND I COULDN'T
EAT, NOT ONE BITE.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- OUT IN THE HALL JUST NOW,
THALIA KISSED ME AND EVEN
THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL GOOD.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- THALIA KISSED YOU TOO?
- NO, BUT I WOULDN'T
HAVE LIKED IT ANYHOW.
- SOMETHING ON YOUR
CONSCIENCE, BOYS?
- WE CH...
- WE CHEATED ON
THE TEST, MRS. ADAMS.
WE FOUND THE
QUESTIONS AT YOUR HOUSE
AND LOOKED UP THE ANSWERS.
- YES, MA'AM,
THAT'S WHAT WE DID.
- THANK YOU, BOYS.
YOU'VE MADE ME VERY HAPPY.
- HUH?
- I'LL HAVE TO FLUNK
YOU, OF COURSE.
- THIS MAKES YOU HAPPY?
- [ LAUGHS ] NO, MAYNARD.
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS
TO SEE MY FAITH JUSTIFIED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO
PROUD OF BEING A TEACHER
AS I AM AT THIS MOMENT.
THALIA, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD TOO.
YOU HAVE A FINE, SWEET,
SENSITIVE, WONDERFUL BOY.
- YES, I HAVE A FINE, SWEET,
WONDERFUL, SENSITIVE BOY
WHO'S NEVER GONNA MAKE A DIME.
- WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR?
YOU WANTED THE BOY TO
GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
WELL, HE'S GOING! NOW BE HAPPY.
- I AM HAPPY.
- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
MANAGE A LITTLE SMILE?
HERE HE IS.
- WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT.
[ CRYING ]
- MOM!
- HE'LL LOVE IT THERE, WINNIE.
HE'LL MEET A LOT OF
WONDERFUL PEOPLE.
HE'LL GET BUDDY-BUDDY
WITH HIS RICH ROOMMATE
AND GO TO ALL
THOSE FANCY PLACES.
OH, HE'S GONNA HAVE A FINE TIME.
- HEY, DOBE, GOOD BUDDY!
I JUST COULDN'T DO IT!
I MEAN, I COULDN'T LET
YOU GO WITHOUT ME.
SO I PLAYED MY RECORD
PLAYER ALL NIGHT LONG
TILL MY OLD MAN
THREW IN THE TOWEL!
- YOU MEAN...
- YEAH, I'M GOING TO
WILLOUGHBY HALL TOO!
- HEY, GREAT!
- YEAH, BUT WAIT'LL
YOU HEAR THE ZINGER.
I CALLED THE GUY IN CHARGE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL HIM? WARDEN?
- DEAN. IT'S DEAN.
- LIKE THAT.
AND YOU AND ME,
BUDDY, ARE ROOMMATES.
- NO! OH, NO!
- OH, NO WHAT?
- OH, NO WILLOUGHBY
HALL, THAT'S WHAT!
THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR ROOMMATE?
YOU GO RIGHT
UPSTAIRS AND UNPACK!
I MORTGAGED THE STORE SO
THIS COULD BE YOUR ROOMMATE?
OUT! GO UNPACK! OUT! UNPACK!
I'M GONNA KILL THAT BOY!
- BOY, HAVE I MESSED
EVERYTHING UP.
- HOW, GOOD BUDDY?
- HOW?
NUMBER ONE, I FLUNKED MATH.
NUMBER TWO, I MISSED OUT
ON GOING TO WILLOUGHBY HALL
AND MAKING ALL THOSE
CONTACTS. THREE, I LOST THALIA.
- YEAH, BUT YOU STILL GOT
ME FOR YOUR BUDDY-BUDDY.
- NO OFFENSE, MAYNARD,
THAT WAS NUMBER FOUR.
FIVE...
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ DOBIE! ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ DOBIE! ♪
- I'M TAKING
MATHEMATICS AT SCHOOL.
I HATE IT.
YOU TAKE MOST OF THE
TROUBLE IN THE WORLD TODAY,
WHAT'S BEHIND IT?
MATH, THAT'S WHAT.
I MEAN, WITHOUT MATH,
THERE WOULDN'T
H-BOMBS OR INCOME TAX
OR INSUFFICIENT
FUNDS AT THE BANK
OR THALIA MENNINGER.
- PAY ATTENTION!
- YES, DOBIE, KINDLY
PAY ATTENTION.
YOU OF ALL PEOPLE,
KINDLY PAY ATTENTION.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
- REMEMBER, THERE'LL
BE A QUIZ TOMORROW,
SO COME PREPARED FOR THE WORST.
CLASS?
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF
DOBIE GILLIS, YOU STAY.
I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU. DISMISSED!
- MAYNARD, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- OH, I'M WITH DOBIE. I MEAN,
WHEREVER HE GOES, I GO.
I MEAN, HE'S, LIKE,
MY GOOD BUDDY.
- WELL, THAT'S VERY TOUCHING,
MAYNARD, BUT GOODBYE.
- DON'T YOU WANNA
TALK TO ME TOO?
- I WANT TO, BUT HOW?
- MAYNARD, I BELIEVE
A TEACHER'S DUTY
IS TO HELP HER STUDENTS
ALL SHE CAN, BUT LET'S FACE IT.
IN SOME CASES, YOU
JUST CAN'T MAKE CONTACT.
- GEE, LIKE, THANKS, MRS. ADAMS.
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU IN THE PARK.
IF YOU'RE IN ANY TROUBLE,
JUST, LIKE, HOLLER.
- I MUST SAY, YOU
HAVE LOYAL FRIENDS.
- OH, IT'S NOTHING.
- YOU'RE WRONG,
DOBIE. IT'S SOMETHING.
ANYBODY WHO CAN INSPIRE
THIS KIND OF LOYALTY
IS PRETTY SPECIAL.
- I APPRECIATE THAT, MRS.
ADAMS, BUT, PLEASE, MA'AM,
COULD WE KIND OF
HURRY IT UP A LITTLE?
THALIA MIGHT BE WAITING FOR ME.
- NOW THERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE
OF THE WAY YOU ENDEAR YOURSELF
TO PEOPLE, THALIA MENNINGER.
- UH-HUH, YEAH.
- AS FOR MAYNARD,
HONESTY COMPELS ME TO SAY
THAT HE IS A TRIFLE ECCENTRIC,
BUT THALIA? THERE'S
A HARD-HEADED GIRL.
- CARBORUNDUM.
- YES, AND YET SHE
STICKS WITH YOU.
- WELL, NO, NO. ACTUALLY,
SHE KIND OF THROWS
ME OUT ALL THE TIME.
- WELL, BUT SHE KIND OF
COMES BACK ALL THE TIME.
ISN'T THAT TRUE?
- YEAH, YEAH, I GUESS SO.
- IT'S A FACT, DOBIE.
- YEAH.
- THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
I KNOW, BUT I HAVE EYES.
I CAN'T HELP NOTICING THINGS.
THALIA LOVES YOU,
MAYNARD LOVES YOU.
IN FACT, EVERYBODY
LOVES YOU. WHY?
- WHY?
- BECAUSE YOU'RE SPECIAL, DOBIE.
YOU'RE A VERY RARE BOY
AND THAT'S WHAT'S
GOT ME WORRIED.
HOW CAN SOMEBODY
WITH YOUR CAPABILITIES
GET SUCH TERRIBLE MARKS?
- THAT'S A GOOD
QUESTION, MRS. ADAMS.
IT BUGS ME, IT REALLY DOES.
- WELL, IT BUGS ME TOO.
TEACHING IS A CALLING,
NOT A BUSINESS.
I'M HERE TO HELP
YOU, TO GUIDE YOU,
TO SET YOUR FEET
ON A SHINING PATH
INTO A BEAUTIFUL,
GLORIOUS FUTURE.
- HEY, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- VERY MOVING.
- OH, HELLO, DEAR.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND AND
MY SON, DAN. DOBIE GILLIS.
- HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HI, DAN.
- HI.
- WELL, I'LL BE GOING
NOW, MRS. ADAMS.
- YEAH. BUT, DOBIE, REMEMBER
I AM HERE TO HELP YOU.
CALL ON ME ANY HOUR, ANY TIME.
- I'LL DO THAT. NICE
TO MEET YOU, SIR.
GOODBYE, GOODBYE.
- MAYBE THE KID COULD
COME AND LIVE WITH US.
- OH, ESMOND, I HAVE TOLD
YOU A THOUSAND TIMES...
- YEAH, YEAH, TEACHING IS
A CALLING, NOT A BUSINESS.
- EXACTLY. THAT BOY
IS WORTH EVERY MINUTE
THAT I CAN GIVE HIM.
- WELL, I KNOW A
COUPLE OF OTHER BOYS
THAT'D LIKE A LITTLE
OF YOUR TIME TOO,
THIS BOY AND THIS BOY.
- I STAND CORRECTED.
AND HOW ARE YOU, LAMBIE-PIE?
HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?
- I HATE SCHOOL!
- THAT'S MY BOY!
- MAYNARD?
- YOU RANG?
- HOW COME YOU KEEP FOLLOWING
DOBIE AROUND ALL THE TIME?
- BECAUSE HE'S,
LIKE, MY GOOD BUDDY.
- I SEE.
- HOW COME YOU KEEP FOLLOWING
HIM AROUND ALL THE TIME?
- I DON'T.
- YOU GAS ME, GIRL.
I MEAN, YOU LEAVE ME LIMP.
- I GAVE DOBIE BACK HIS HI-Y
PIN 12 TIMES IN THE LAST MONTH.
- SO WHAT'S THAT
ON YOUR SWEATER?
- WELL, I'M GIVING IT
BACK AGAIN TODAY.
THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO SEE HIM.
- SORRY I'M LATE, THALIA, BABY,
BUT I GUESS IT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT
DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE?
- DON'T FIGHT IT,
THALIA. YOU LOVE ME.
MAYNARD LOVES ME.
- TRUE.
- EVERYBODY LOVES
ME. I'M LOVABLE.
- WHO SAYS SO?
- JUST MRS. ADAMS, THAT'S ALL.
- BIG DEAL. I'VE KNOWN YOU
WERE LOVABLE FOR YEARS.
- YOU HAVE? SO HOW COME
YOU KEEP DUMPING ME?
- LOOK, DOBIE, YOU'RE LOVABLE,
BUT THAT'S ALL YOU ARE, LOVABLE.
ARE YOU SMART? NO.
ARE YOU TALENTED? NO.
ARE YOU AGGRESSIVE? NO.
ARE YOU EVER GOING
TO BE A SUCCESS?
- NO.
- NO.
- I WAS WONDERING
WHEN THE CONVERSATION WAS
GONNA GET AROUND TO MONEY.
- WILL YOU KINDLY
TELL YOUR FRIEND
THAT I DO NOT HAPPEN
TO CARE ABOUT MONEY!
- THAT'S RIGHT, MAYNARD.
THALIA DOESN'T CARE ABOUT
MONEY, NOT FOR HERSELF, THAT IS.
BUT HER FATHER'S...
- 60 YEARS OLD AND
HAS A KIDNEY CONDITION.
- AND HER MOTHER...
- ISN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
- AND HER SISTER...
- IS MARRIED TO A LOAFER.
- AND HER BROTHER...
- IS TURNING INTO
A PUBLIC CHARGE.
- SO IT'S UP TO THALIA TO...
- TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY!
- YEAH.
- YEAH, MAYBE WE COULD,
LIKE, TAKE UP A COLLECTION.
- DON'T GET SMART.
- YEAH.
- LOOK, I HAVE A
RESPONSIBILITY TO MY FAMILY.
I MEAN, IF MY FATHER HADN'T
PUT BRACES ON MY TEETH
AND SENT ME TO DANCING SCHOOL
SO I COULD BE
BEAUTIFUL AND GRACEFUL
AND CHARMING THE WAY I AM,
WELL, THEN MAYBE HE WOULDN'T
HAVE A KIDNEY CONDITION.
AND YOU AREN'T HELPING ANYTHING!
- ME?
- YEAH, YOU.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE A
POOR MAN AS LONG AS YOU LIVE
AND HERE'S YOUR
HI-Y PIN. GOODBYE!
- WELL, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING THAT FOR?
YOU'LL JUST TAKE
IT BACK NEXT WEEK.
DON'T FORGET, I'M LOVABLE.
- WELL, TRUE, ALL
RIGHT. YOU'RE LOVABLE.
AND MAYBE I'M STUCK ON YOU,
BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE, MISTER,
IF I REALLY PUT MY MIND TO IT,
I CAN FORGET YOU COMPLETELY.
YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?
- THALIA, YOU WOULDN'T.
- I WOULD AND I WILL UNLESS...
- YES, MY DARLING, YES,
MY GREAT TAWNY ANIMAL.
- QUIT CENTRAL HIGH AND
GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- YOU MEAN THAT FANCY
PREP SCHOOL BACK EAST
WHERE ALL THOSE RICH CATS GO?
- THALIA, WHAT CAN
YOU BE THINKING OF?
- I'M THINKING OF YOUR FUTURE.
LOOK, YOU HAVE ONE ASSET,
ONE LOUSY LITTLE
ASSET. YOU'RE LOVABLE.
THAT ISN'T GOING TO
GET YOU VERY FAR.
- THALIA...
- YOU HAVE TO HAVE CONTACTS NOW
AT WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT!
I'M NOT GONNA GO TO WILLOUGHBY
HALL OR ANYPLACE ELSE!
I'M GONNA STAY RIGHT
HERE WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE!
- YOU'RE GOING TO
STAY RIGHT HERE
WITHOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE.
- THALIA, YOU'RE COMING UNGLUED!
WHAT A CRAZY IDEA, MY
GOING AWAY TO SCHOOL!
NOW JUST FORGET ABOUT IT,
BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU
AND THERE'S NO WAY IN THE
WORLD YOU CAN MAKE ME!
- OH, ISN'T THERE?
- THERE'S NO WAY SHE CAN GET
ME TO GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL,
IS THERE, MAYNARD?
- OF COURSE NOT!
- OF COURSE NOT.
- Both: I WONDER HOW
SHE'S GONNA DO IT!
- I GOTTA KILL THAT
BOY. I JUST GOT TO.
- OH, CALM DOWN, HERBERT.
YOU WERE YOUNG ONCE.
- NEVER THAT YOUNG.
WHERE IS THAT KID ANYWAY?
A WHOLE TRUCKLOAD OF GROCERIES
IN THE BACK ROOM TO BE UNPACKED
AND HE ISN'T HOME FROM SCHOOL.
WHAT'S HE GOT?
RADAR OR SOMETHING?
HOW DOES HE ALWAYS KNOW
WHEN THERE'S WORK TO
BE DONE AROUND HERE?
- HELLO, MR. GILLIS,
MRS. GILLIS.
- HELLO, THALIA, DEAR.
- HAVE YOU SEEN DOBIE?
- YES, BUT IT DIDN'T
DO ANY GOOD.
- IT NEVER DOES.
- I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU...
- HEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
IT DIDN'T DO ANY GOOD?
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'VE
COME TO SEE YOU ABOUT.
DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- YOU MEAN THE PREP
SCHOOL BACK EAST?
- YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S A FINE SCHOOL AND LOTS
OF RICH PEOPLE GO THERE.
- LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE,
BUT WHAT'S THIS GOT
TO DO WITH DOBIE?
- WELL, I WANT YOU TO SEND
DOBIE TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- I'LL SEND HIM TO THE
HOSPITAL, THE BUM.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT
COSTS TO GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- YES. I HAVE THE RATES AND
THE INFORMATION RIGHT HERE.
UH-UH, IT'S
EXPENSIVE, ALL RIGHT.
BUT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
IT'S AN INVESTMENT
IN DOBIE'S FUTURE.
- FUTURE? WHAT FUTURE?
THIS KID HAS GOT TO WIND
UP LIVING OFF THE COUNTY.
- THAT WILL BE ENOUGH
OF THAT, HERBERT GILLIS!
DOBIE'S A FINE BOY WITH A GOOD
MIND AND A GREAT POTENTIAL.
AND I AM NOT GOING TO STAND HERE
LISTENING TO YOU
RUNNING HIM DOWN!
I HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT WILLOUGHBY HALL
MIGHT BE JUST THE
PLACE FOR DOBIE.
HE'S BRIGHT AND
SENSITIVE AND INTELLIGENT
AND MAYBE WHAT HE NEEDS
IS TO BROADEN HIS VISTAS
AND ROUND OUT HIS PERSONALITY,
AND GET AWAY FROM
YOU FOR A WHILE!
- I'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT.
WHAT IS DOBIE'S BEST QUALITY?
- I GIVE UP.
- HE'S LOVABLE, THAT'S WHAT.
NOW EVERYBODY THAT
KNOWS HIM LOVES HIM.
NOW WHEN DOBIE GOES
TO WILLOUGHBY HALL,
HE GETS PUT IN A DORMITORY
AND HAS A ROOMMATE.
NOW WHO IS THAT
ROOMMATE GOING TO BE?
HE'S GOING TO BE A RICH
MAN'S SON, THAT'S WHO.
AND LIVING WITH DOBIE,
HE'S GOTTA LOVE HIM.
I MEAN, IT'S INEVITABLE.
SO DOBIE'S GOT A FRIEND,
A RICH, POWERFUL FRIEND
WHOSE FATHER OWNS A
BANK OR A FACTORY MAYBE.
NOW, THIS ROOMMATE
INTRODUCES DOBIE TO HIS FATHER
AND HE SAYS, "DAD, THIS IS
MY ROOMMATE, DOBIE GILLIS,
"WHO'S GOOD AND LOYAL AND TRUE
AND THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD.
"NOW DO YOU THINK YOU COULD FIND
A PLACE FOR HIM
IN THE BUSINESS?"
AND THE FATHER SAYS, "SON,
IF HE'S A FRIEND OF YOURS,
"HE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF DOBIE GILLIS."
AND THAT'S JUST MY
POINT. DON'T YOU SEE?
SOMEBODY HAS TO
TAKE CARE OF DOBIE.
NOW WHERE DO YOU WANT HIM?
STANDING IN THE LINE
OF A SOUP KITCHEN
OR PRESIDENT OF A
BANK? MAKE YOUR CHOICE.
- I'VE MADE MY CHOICE.
THE ANSWER IS NO.
- VERY WELL, MR. GILLIS.
IT'S ON YOUR CONSCIENCE.
I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD DO!
- DOBIE, OLD BEAN, I DON'T
WANT TO GET MISTY ABOUT IT,
BUT ROOMING WITH YOU HAS
BEEN ABSOLUTELY TOP-HOLE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE A SPLENDID
FELLOW, FIRST RATE.
- AH, I'M JUST LOVABLE IS ALL.
- YOU ARE THAT.
DOBIE, IF IT SHOULD EVER
FALL IN MY LIFE TO REPAY YOU
FOR BEING SUCH A DECENT SORT,
I HOPE YOU'LL NOT
FAIL TO CALL ON ME.
- SHUCKS, WINTHROP, JUST
BEING LOVABLE IS ENOUGH FOR ME.
- HELLO, SON!
- POPSY, WHAT A
DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE!
- I HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
FORECLOSING A FEW PROPERTIES,
SO I THOUGHT I'D POP IN.
- WELL, HOW JOLLY!
POPSY, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO
MEET MY LOYAL, TRUE, DEVOTED,
KINDLY, DEPENDABLE, LOVABLE
ROOMMATE, DOBIE GILLIS.
DOBIE, THIS IS DAD,
WINTHROP VAN MONEY VII.
- I'M HONORED, SIR.
- WELL, GILLIS,
ANYONE WHO'S BEEN SUCH
A LOYAL, TRUE, DEVOTED,
KINDLY, DEPENDABLE,
LOVABLE ROOMMATE TO MY SON
NEED NEVER GO WANTING
AS LONG AS THERE'S LIFE
IN THIS PROSPEROUS BODY.
GILLIS, YOU WILL START MONDAY
AS CHIEF TELLER AT THE
FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
AFTER AN APPROPRIATE PERIOD
OF LEARNING THE BUSINESS,
WELL, I SHALL GIVE YOU A
LITTLE BANK OF YOUR OWN.
- THANK YOU, SIR. YOU'RE
A REAL HUMAN BEING.
- DAD, WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE!
- HELLO, SON. I JUST HAPPENED
TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
DELIVERING SOME GROCERIES
AND THOUGHT I'D DROP IN.
- OH.
- ARE YOU IN THE
GROCERY LINE, MR. GILLIS?
- WELL, IN A SMALL WAY, SIR.
- NOT ANYMORE,
MR. GILLIS, NOT SMALL.
ANY FATHER OF DOBIE GILLIS
NEED NEVER WANT FOR ANYTHING
AS LONG AS THERE'S LIFE
IN THIS PROSPEROUS BODY.
TOMORROW, SIR, I SHALL BUY
YOU A CHAIN OF SUPERMARKETS
EXTENDING FROM KEY WEST,
FLORIDA TO FAIRBANKS, ALASKA,
SIDE BY SIDE, NO
SPACES IN BETWEEN.
- DAD? DAD?
- OH, HELLO, SON.
- ABOUT THAT LOAD
OF CANNED GOODS
IN THE BACK ROOM.
- SKIP IT, SKIP IT.
THAT'S NOT FOR YOU
BECAUSE, AFTER ALL,
YOU'RE LOYAL AND
TRUE AND DEPENDABLE...
- ME?
- AND KINDLY
AND DEVOTED AND LOVABLE.
- ME?
- SON, YOUR MOTHER
AND I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH
AND WE WANT THE
ABSOLUTE BEST FOR YOU,
NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS.
- DAD, YOU MEAN I CAN HAVE
THAT NEW PAIR OF SHOES?
- NEW SHOES?
[ LAUGH ]
YOU HAVE SHOES
YOU NEVER EVEN WEAR.
NOW BRACE YOURSELF
FOR A WONDERFUL SURPRISE.
YOU ARE GOING TO
WILLOUGHBY HALL!
- WILLOUGHBY HALL? OH, NO!
- TUT-TUT, MY BOY.
- OH, NO!
- HANG THE EXPENSE. NOTHING
IS TOO GOOD FOR MY SON!
- NO, I'M NOT
GOING! I WON'T DO IT!
- OH, YES, YOU WILL
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
AND I WANT THE VERY BEST FOR YOU
AND YOU'LL GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL
OR I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN
THAT STUPID HEAD OF YOURS!
- THALIA MENNINGER,
YOU ARE A RAT!
- YEAH.
- A RAT? OH, THAT CAN
ONLY MEAN ONE THING.
YOU'RE GOING TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
- YOU OUGHT TO
KNOW. YOU FIXED IT.
- YOU RAT!
- OH, WELL, THAT'S A
FINE WAY TO THANK ME.
- THANK YOU FOR WHAT? I'LL BE
HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY FROM YOU,
ONE DREARY, LONELY,
MISERABLE DAY AFTER ANOTHER.
- OH, YOU POOR FOOL. DON'T
YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR GIRL?
- MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.
- THEN GO TO WILLOUGHBY
HALL, MAKE CONTACTS,
BE A SUCCESS AND
AMOUNT TO SOMETHING.
- BUT YOU LOVE ME.
- I KNOW, BUT I
CAN'T BE SELFISH.
I'VE GOT TO THINK OF MY FAMILY.
- YOU MEAN, YOUR FATHER'S...
- KIDNEY CONDITION.
- ISN'T HE GETTING ANY BETTER?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S
HARDLY SOMETHING YOU TALK ABOUT.
- OH, OF COURSE, YEAH.
- NOW, LOOK, DOBIE,
STOP MOPING AROUND.
WILLOUGHBY HALL IS YOUR
GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.
- LISTEN, THALIA,
WHAT IF I SETTLE DOWN
AND TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF?
I MEAN, STARTED GETTING
GOOD GRADES AND EVERYTHING?
- GOOD MARKS? WHY, TOMORROW
WE'RE HAVING A MATH TEST
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO
FLUNK WITH A BIG THUD.
- I'M NOT GONNA FLUNK!
I'M GONNA GET 100 ON IT!
- BOY, YOU ARE SICK. I
MEAN, YOU NEED ATTENTION.
- IF I GET 100 ON THE
MATH TEST TOMORROW,
WILL YOU LET ME STAY
HERE AND BE MY GIRL?
- IF YOU GET 100 ON IT,
I'LL PULL YOU ALL AROUND
TOWN IN A RICKSHAW.
- NEVER MIND THE JOKES!
ANSWER MY QUESTION!
- ALL RIGHT, DOBIE.
IF YOU GET 100 IN THE
MATH TEST, I'M YOURS.
- I'M GONNA DO IT,
MAYNARD, I'M GONNA DO IT.
- YOU GOT A PLAN?
- WELL, PLAN IS TOO
STRONG A WORD.
IT'S MORE LIKE HOPE, A
LITTLE, THIN, PUNY HOPE.
- TELL YOUR OLD BUDDY.
- WELL, MRS. ADAMS, YOU
KNOW, THE MATH TEACHER?
WELL, SHE SAID SHE
WANTED TO HELP ME
AND TO CALL ON HER AT ANY
HOUR ANY TIME IF I WAS IN TROUBLE.
- FRIEND, YOU AIN'T NEVER
BEEN IN BIGGER TROUBLE.
LET'S FLY.
- YEAH.
- DARLING, PLEASE?
IT'S THE MATH TEST FOR TOMORROW
AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANT, HONEY.
I'M JUST DOUBLE-CHECKING IT.
- SWELL. RUTHIE, I WANT TO
REMIND YOU OF SOMETHING.
YOU'VE GOT A HUSBAND.
- WHOM I ADORE!
DARLING, IF TEACHING
EVER CAME BETWEEN US,
I'D GIVE IT UP IN A MINUTE.
BUT YOU WORK ALL DAY
AND DAN GOES TO SCHOOL
AND I CAN'T JUST SIT
AROUND AND BE USELESS
WHEN THERE'S SUCH A
CRYING NEED FOR TEACHERS.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, RUTHIE. AND
AS YOU KNOW, I'M ALL FOR IT.
BUT YOU KNOW I GOT TO THINKING,
IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE WE
WENT ANYWHERE OR DID ANYTHING.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO TO
A MOVIE TONIGHT RIGHT NOW?
- THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
- WELL, GREAT. THERE'S
A GOOD ONE AT THE BIJOU.
I THINK WE JUST GOT TIME
TO CATCH THE FIRST FEATURE.
- HAVEN'T WE FORGOTTEN
JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING?
- OH, YEAH, THE KID.
WELL, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WE'LL GET A SITTER FOR HIM.
- AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO FIND A SITTER AT THIS HOUR?
- WELL, HE'S IN BED.
COULDN'T WE JUST SNEAK
OUT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS?
- THE ANSWER IS NO,
NO ON TWO COUNTS.
ONE, WE CANNOT SNEAK
OUT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS
AND, TWO, HE IS NOT IN
BED. REGARDEZ THE K-I-D.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
[ LAUGH ]
- HI, SLUGGER.
- COME ON, YOU.
- MR. ADAMS, I'M DOBIE GILLIS. WE
MET AT SCHOOL THIS AFTERNOON.
- OH, YES.
- UH-HUH,
AND THIS IS MY FRIEND,
MAYNARD G. KREBS.
- LIKE, HI.
- LIKE, HI.
- I'LL TELL YOU WHY WE
DROPPED BY, MR. ADAMS.
- OH, PRAY DO.
- UH-HUH.
WELL, YOU SEE,
SIR, THIS AFTERNOON
MRS. ADAMS, YOUR
WIFE, YOU KNOW...
- I REMEMBER HER VIVIDLY.
- WELL, SHE SAID SHE WANTED
TO HELP ME AND THAT I SHOULD...
- I HEARD.
- CALL ON HER ANY
TIME, ANY HOUR,
IF I WAS EVER IN
TROUBLE WHICH I AM NOW.
- SO YOU THOUGHT YOU'D COME
OVER FOR A LITTLE PRIVATE TUTORING?
- YEAH, I GUESS YOU
COULD CALL IT THAT, YES.
- YOU TOO?
- OH, NO.
I JUST GO WHERE DOBIE GOES.
I'M, LIKE, HIS BEST BUDDY.
- UH-HUH.
- ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T WANT
TO COME HERE AT ALL.
I WAS GOING TO THE BIJOU.
THERE'S A GAS OF A MOVIE THERE.
- SO I'VE HEARD.
- YEAH. I SAW IT SIX TIMES.
I WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN.
IT'S, LIKE, THE LAST NIGHT.
- BOYS, COME IN AND SIT DOWN.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- LET ME ASK YOU
A QUESTION, BOYS.
DO YOU LIKE MRS. ADAMS?
AS A TEACHER, I MEAN?
- OH, SHE'S FINE.
- SHE'S 100% WITH ME.
- THANKS, BOYS.
BOYS, YOU KNOW WHAT
A TEACHER'S LIFE IS?
WELL, IT'S LONG HOURS,
IT'S HARD WORK,
IT'S TEDIOUS DETAIL.
- HOW COME SHE DON'T KICK IT?
- BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO HELP YOU, AND YOU.
- OH, SHE'S ALL
HEART, THAT WOMAN.
- IF YOU COULD BRIGHTEN
HER LIFE A LITTLE,
IF YOU COULD BRING HER ONE
SMALL MOMENT OF PLEASURE,
YOU'D DO IT, WOULDN'T YOU?
- SURE, BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?
- YOU CAN SIT WITH
OUR LITTLE BOY TONIGHT
WHILE I TAKE MRS.
ADAMS TO THE MOVIES,
WHILE I BRING A COUPLE
OF HOURS OF SUNSHINE
INTO HER DARK AND DISMAL LIFE.
NOW, BOYS, CAN YOU FIND IT
IN YOUR HEARTS TO SAY NO?
- NOT US, POPS!
- THANK YOU, BOYS! THANK YOU!
- WHY, MAYNARD, DOBIE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- THEY'RE GONNA
SIT WITH DAN TONIGHT
WHILE WE GO TO THE MOVIES.
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
- WHAT?
- COME ON, DEAR,
LET'S NOT DAWDLE.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- HE'S RIGHT, MRS. ADAMS,
YOU BETTER GET MOVING.
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THE PART
WHERE THE MONSTER
DEVOURS CLEVELAND.
- CLEVELAND?
- COME ON, DEAR, QUICKLY.
- ESMOND, I HAVE TO
HIDE THOSE TEST PAPERS
BECAUSE THOSE BOYS HAVE
TO TAKE THE TEST TOMORROW.
- OH, I GOT YOU, BABY.
BOYS, I DON'T THINK
THERE'LL BE ANY PROBLEM.
THE KID'S ROOM'S AT THE TOP
OF THE STAIRS TO THE LEFT,
THE KITCHEN'S OUT THERE
AND HERE'S THE PHONE.
THE PHONOGRAPH IS OVER THERE,
THE COOKIES ARE
IN THE COOKIE JAR,
THE ICE CREAM IS IN THE FREEZER,
GOD'S IN HIS HEAVEN AND
ALL'S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.
GOOD NIGHT, BOYS.
- MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL
EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO ME.
- YEAH, MAYBE SOMEDAY.
- THANKS. THANKS A LOT.
IT'S ALL I NEEDED
TONIGHT, BABYSITTING!
- AW, CHEER UP,
DOBE. IT AIN'T SO BAD.
- WELL, WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT IT?
- THEY GOT A RECORD PLAYER,
MAN, THEY GOT A RECORD PLAYER.
- BIG DEAL!
- OH, BOY. BRAHMS, MAHLER, BACH.
- IT'S BACH, MAYNARD, BACH.
- YEAH, BACH. WHERE'S THE
JAZZ? I CAN'T FIND NO JAZZ.
WHAT DO THEY NEED
WITH A RECORD PLAYER
IF THEY AIN'T GOT NO
JAZZ? MUST BE SOMEPLACE.
- MAYNARD? MAYNARD,
DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?
- YEAH. WHAT'S BUGGING YOU, MAN?
- MAYNARD, CONCENTRATE.
THIS IS THE QUIZ MRS. ADAMS
IS GONNA GIVE US TOMORROW.
WE'VE GOT IT RIGHT
HERE IN OUR HANDS.
NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS
LOOK UP THE ANSWERS RIGHT NOW
AND TOMORROW WE
CAN GET 100 ON THE QUIZ.
AND IF I GET 100 ON THE QUIZ,
THEN I DON'T GO TO
WILLOUGHBY HALL.
I STAY RIGHT HERE WITH THALIA
AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL ONCE MORE!
- IT'S, LIKE, CHEATING, DOBIE.
- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.
- DOBE?
- LET'S DO IT?
- RIGHT.
- BUT JUST THIS ONCE.
- JUST THIS ONE.
- NEVER AGAIN.
- NEVER, NO.
- NOW GET A PENCIL AND PAPER.
FIRST QUESTION.
- THUS, ONE ENGLISHMAN WITH
IMAGINATION, ISAAC NEWTON
LYING UNDER AN APPLE TREE
ALTERED THE ENTIRE
COURSE OF CIVILIZATION.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]
ON YOUR WAY OUT OF CLASS,
YOU MAY PICK UP
YOUR QUIZ PAPERS.
I'D LIKE DOBIE GILLIS AND
MAYNARD KREBS TO REMAIN BEHIND.
DISMISSED.
THAT'S VERY GOOD, THALIA.
- THANK YOU.
- WELL, WHY AREN'T
YOU SMILING, BOYS?
IT ISN'T OFTEN ANYONE
GETS 100 ON A MATH QUIZ.
- 100? DOBIE, LET ME SEE!
OH, DOBIE, YOU SAID
YOU'D DO IT AND YOU DID!
YOU TURNED OVER
A BRAND NEW LEAF!
OH, MY, I'M SO HAPPY!
- YOU MEAN I DON'T HAVE
TO GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL?
- WILLOUGHBY HALL? NO, NO, NO.
I JUST THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE THE BEST THING
FOR YOU AND FOR US.
BUT NOW WE CAN BE TOGETHER
FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.
- IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME?
- NO, MA'AM.
- NOTHING AT ALL?
- NO, MA'AM.
- MAYNARD?
- I'M WITH DOBIE.
- I SEE. THAT'S ALL,
BOYS. YOU MAY GO.
- LET'S GO TO THE
ICE CREAM PARLOR.
THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.
OH, AND I'VE GOT A LITTLE
SHOCK FOR YOU. I'M BUYING.
- HI, RUTHIE!
- HI.
- DAN'S IN THE CAR. YOU READY?
WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER, RUTHIE?
- I THINK WHEN DOBIE AND
MAYNARD WERE SITTING FOR US,
THEY FOUND THE TEST QUESTIONS.
I THINK THEY
CHEATED ON THE EXAM.
- OH, COME ON, RUTHIE.
THEY LOOK LIKE A
COUPLE OF NICE KIDS.
WHAT MAKES YOU
SAY A THING LIKE THAT?
- DOBIE GOT 100 ON THE TEST.
- WELL, IT'S POSSIBLE.
- AND MAYNARD TOO.
- OH, THE ONE WITH THE...
- BEARD.
- OH, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
- THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO
EXCEPT NEVER TRUST
THOSE BOYS AGAIN.
THAT HURTS, DARLING.
BELIEVE ME, IT HURTS.
- MRS. ADAMS, I...
MRS. ADAMS.
MRS. ADAMS, I GOTTA
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
ALL LAST NIGHT, I COULDN'T
SLEEP, NOT ONE WINK.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- AND THIS MORNING, MY MOTHER
HAD GRIDDLECAKES FOR BREAKFAST
AND I COULDN'T
EAT, NOT ONE BITE.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- OUT IN THE HALL JUST NOW,
THALIA KISSED ME AND EVEN
THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL GOOD.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- THALIA KISSED YOU TOO?
- NO, BUT I WOULDN'T
HAVE LIKED IT ANYHOW.
- SOMETHING ON YOUR
CONSCIENCE, BOYS?
- WE CH...
- WE CHEATED ON
THE TEST, MRS. ADAMS.
WE FOUND THE
QUESTIONS AT YOUR HOUSE
AND LOOKED UP THE ANSWERS.
- YES, MA'AM,
THAT'S WHAT WE DID.
- THANK YOU, BOYS.
YOU'VE MADE ME VERY HAPPY.
- HUH?
- I'LL HAVE TO FLUNK
YOU, OF COURSE.
- THIS MAKES YOU HAPPY?
- [ LAUGHS ] NO, MAYNARD.
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS
TO SEE MY FAITH JUSTIFIED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO
PROUD OF BEING A TEACHER
AS I AM AT THIS MOMENT.
THALIA, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD TOO.
YOU HAVE A FINE, SWEET,
SENSITIVE, WONDERFUL BOY.
- YES, I HAVE A FINE, SWEET,
WONDERFUL, SENSITIVE BOY
WHO'S NEVER GONNA MAKE A DIME.
- WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR?
YOU WANTED THE BOY TO
GO TO WILLOUGHBY HALL.
WELL, HE'S GOING! NOW BE HAPPY.
- I AM HAPPY.
- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN
MANAGE A LITTLE SMILE?
HERE HE IS.
- WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT.
[ CRYING ]
- MOM!
- HE'LL LOVE IT THERE, WINNIE.
HE'LL MEET A LOT OF
WONDERFUL PEOPLE.
HE'LL GET BUDDY-BUDDY
WITH HIS RICH ROOMMATE
AND GO TO ALL
THOSE FANCY PLACES.
OH, HE'S GONNA HAVE A FINE TIME.
- HEY, DOBE, GOOD BUDDY!
I JUST COULDN'T DO IT!
I MEAN, I COULDN'T LET
YOU GO WITHOUT ME.
SO I PLAYED MY RECORD
PLAYER ALL NIGHT LONG
TILL MY OLD MAN
THREW IN THE TOWEL!
- YOU MEAN...
- YEAH, I'M GOING TO
WILLOUGHBY HALL TOO!
- HEY, GREAT!
- YEAH, BUT WAIT'LL
YOU HEAR THE ZINGER.
I CALLED THE GUY IN CHARGE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL HIM? WARDEN?
- DEAN. IT'S DEAN.
- LIKE THAT.
AND YOU AND ME,
BUDDY, ARE ROOMMATES.
- NO! OH, NO!
- OH, NO WHAT?
- OH, NO WILLOUGHBY
HALL, THAT'S WHAT!
THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR ROOMMATE?
YOU GO RIGHT
UPSTAIRS AND UNPACK!
I MORTGAGED THE STORE SO
THIS COULD BE YOUR ROOMMATE?
OUT! GO UNPACK! OUT! UNPACK!
I'M GONNA KILL THAT BOY!
- BOY, HAVE I MESSED
EVERYTHING UP.
- HOW, GOOD BUDDY?
- HOW?
NUMBER ONE, I FLUNKED MATH.
NUMBER TWO, I MISSED OUT
ON GOING TO WILLOUGHBY HALL
AND MAKING ALL THOSE
CONTACTS. THREE, I LOST THALIA.
- YEAH, BUT YOU STILL GOT
ME FOR YOUR BUDDY-BUDDY.
- NO OFFENSE, MAYNARD,
THAT WAS NUMBER FOUR.
FIVE...
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S DREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL WHO'S CREAMY ♪
♪ DOBIE ♪
♪ WANTS A GAL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ IS SHE BLONDE? IS SHE TALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE DARK? IS SHE SMALL? ♪
♪ IS SHE ANY KIND OF
DREAMBOAT AT ALL? ♪
♪ NO MATTER ♪
♪ HE'S HERS AND HERS ALONE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE DOBIE HAS TO
HAVE A GIRL TO CALL HIS OWN ♪
♪ DOBIE! ♪