The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1964–1968): Season 4, Episode 6 - The Master's Touch Affair - full transcript

Mandor, a former high-ranking Thrush official, supposedly has defected to UNCLE. In reality, he is providing information that will weaken his enemies within Thrush; Mandor is angling to take over Thrush in a power play. However, a former Mandor associate is hunting him. Mandor arranges it so that Illya Kuryakin is captured, forcing UNCLE to kill the Thrushman hunting Mandor. Napoleon Solo must rescue Kuryakin and then deal with Mandor.

ILLYA:
Is everything all right?

Officially, we're in England.
If we're followed, we go back to London.

[RADIO CLICKS]

[MACHINE BEEPING]

PETRAKIS [OVER RADIO]:
The UN.C.IL_EFE agents have arrived.

The UN.C.IL_EFE agents have arrived.

Repeat, the U.N.C.L.E. agents
have arrived.

VALANDROS:
Turn on the set.

[CAMERA CLICKS]

VALANDROS:
So far, so good.

Speed up. See if he's following us.



Not too close, Petrakis. Not too close!

So I was right.

Mandor is not far away.

[GUNFIRE]

Only Mr. Solo.

Why don't you put some poison in it
and give it to Mr. Mandor?

[TIRE SCREECHES]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in.

MANDOR:
Open it.

The small key.

Well, Mr. Solo, you came here
against my wishes.

Now Valandros knows I am in the area.

Hmm, he knew that already,
that's why we came.



Now that you are here,
what do you propose to do?

To move you to a new hideout.

A new hideout?

We have to know where you are
from now on.

We have to be able to reach you fast.
Every resource that Valandros--

And you choose the place,
you know exactly where I am, huh?

So I am at your mercy,
I am becoming your prisoner?

I have an assignment, Mr. Mandor,
and that is to protect your life at all costs.

You will protect my life?
You will save me from Valandros?

There will be no move, no hideout.
Nothing.

I will protect myself.

I ask you to remember who I am.

- I am Pharos Mandor.
- Yes, I haven't forgotten.

I will remind you again,
I was second man at Thrush.

I lost out in the struggle for control.

I am no ordinary defector, Mr. Solo.

We are equals, you and I.
I trade information for money.

And tor, uh, as much protection
from U.N.C.L.E. as I deem necessary.

Not you.

Where I am remains my secret.

Valandros to Thrush Central computer.

COMPUTER [OVER RADIO]:
Begin recording.

Recording. The report that Pharos Mandor,
formerly of Thrush Central...

...is in Lisbon area
has now been confirmed.

Two U.N.C.L.E. agents, Solo and Kuryakin,
have arrived here secretly.

They were followed by one of our men,
Petrakis by name, who was killed.

The killers used rifles of Thrush design.
I await computer analysis.

COMPUTER: Analysis: because Mandor
has defected from Thrush

...Solo and Kuryakin have been assigned
to extract information from him.

It is imperative that we know all information
that Mandor has given U.N.C.L_E.

It is imperative that he be stopped
from giving more.

These faces have been chosen as the most
likely disguises that Mandor will assume.

Oh, Mandor will disguise himself
in his own way.

AIDE:
But these are computer projections.

They were created from everything
known about him.

His backgrounds, his personality,
emotions--

Don't tell me about Mandor.
I was with him for 20 years.

There is no disguise he can take
that I cannot penetrate.

I was with him to the very minute
he tried to take over Thrush.

What do I need with these projections?

When the time comes, I'll recognize him.

And Mandor will pay.

He'll pay.

I know Valandros.

Do you think he will not find me?

You think because he is here today,
he will not be there tomorrow?

Valandros is my creature.

He was cruel, I made him monstrous.

He was cunning, I made him brilliant.
He had five senses, I gave him a sixth.

No, Valandros is the one man
who will finally hunt me down, Mr. Solo.

No, Mr. Solo, I stay right here.

I protect myself.

I have prepared my defenses.
Here, I am ready.

U.N.C.L.E.'s dossier on you
emphasizes one weakness.

A certain kind of girl.

Blond, willowy.

That girl.

Apparently, I can't force you
into a new hideout.

But if we know about a weakness,
Valandros also does.

That girl will be seen in town.

She'll be seen coming and going.

So the girl must go?

Do you have the authority
to make a trade?

- About the girl?
- As your dossier says, I have a weakness.

The girl stays.

What would you take to kill Valandros?

[SOLO CHUCKLES]

We're not in the business of assassination,
Mr. Mandor.

Then I would suggest
you get in the business.

Oh, unless, of course, you are satisfied
with destroying Thrush piecemeal.

A minor headquarters here,
an obscure command post there.

But you kill Valandros...

...and I will give you the information
Mr. Waverly really wants.

The names of the Thrush leaders
in Moscow, London, New York.

You cut off the head, Mr. Solo,
the body dies instantly.

Now, uh, to bring all of this about,
my friend...

...all you have to do is pay my price.

At the moment, Mr. Mandor,
your price is too high.

Show Mr. Solo to his quarters.

You'll be smuggled out of here tomorrow.

In the interim, uh, think things is over.
Enjoy the surroundings.

Talk to the lady. Her name is Leslie.
Leslie Welling.

I'll be delighted.

I see, Mr. Kuryakin...

...you were followed immediately
after picking up Mr. Solo?

- Yes, sir.
- Well, perhaps there's a leak in security.

I'll have a blanket secrecy
put on you and Mr. Solo.

Thank you.

Uh, and I'd appreciate it if you'd have me
picked up as soon as possible.

I feel rather inoperative out here.

I'll notified the appropriate people at once,
Mr. Kuryakin.

Good. I'd be very grateful.
Oh, how is Operation Ankara going?

It's gone, Mr. Kuryakin.

Thanks to Mr. Mandor's information,
Thrush-Turkey no longer exists.

U.N.C.L.E. has just destroyed
Thrush headquarters in Turkey.

And the personnel?

Killed or captured, all of them.

Greece, South Africa, now Turkey.

One by one, U.N.C.L.E. is eliminating
the centers of our enemies.

Soon, our own man in Thrush
will be strong enough to take over, huh?

And you will be undisputed leader.

These U.N.C.L.E. agents,
let them treat me like a defector...

...a renegade, a hireling.

Their contempt, their money.

- Their threats.
- Threats?

They're holding Valandros against my head
like a gun.

There is nothing, nothing for us,
until Valandros is dead.

Now that the U.N.C.L.E. agents
are here

Yes, the next step.

Mr. Solo or Mr. Kuryakin?

Kuryakin.

I see. Who tipped us off about him?
Do we know yet?

All right. You'll do as instructed.

Kuryakin has just been brought in,
a top U.N.C.L.E. agent.

Handed over, a gift.

Yes. Recording for Thrush Central
will begin immediately.

We're taking infrared films of the area
where our man was killed.

It may lead nowhere, but the pieces
are beginning to fall into place.

We have just captured an U.N.C.L.E. agent,
Kuryakin.

Thanks to a tip from...

Well, an unknown source.

We now have a perimeter on Mandor
and we will tighten it.

If that is too slow,
Mr. Kuryakin will help speed it up.

Hi, mind it I sit down here?

Suit yourself.

Thank you.

I was going to talk to you earlier,
but there were obstructions.

You mean inhibitions.

No, I mean obstructions.

These.

- What are they?
- Bugs.

Or more commonly known as microphones.
They're all around here.

Now, we can talk now.

- About what?
- About you.

- I want you to get out of this place.
- Leave?

There's gonna be trouble
starting around here.

Don't ask me any questions, just pack up,
get out while there's still time.

And who are you?

Well, that's a long story and as I said,
ll don't have the time.

- Just start--
- I can't go. He won't let me.

I've been trying to get out of here
every day for two weeks.

Every day he says tomorrow,
every day he promises.

What's going on around here? Who is he?

You don't know?

- How did you get here in the first place?
- By helicopter.

Uh-huh. Voluntarily?

Look, I don't know who you are, but--

But I believe those microphones.

I'm a model.

If you read fashion magazines,
you've see my picture.

One day.
ll get invited to a plush thing. this.

Some big shipping magnate
called Platonides...

...is throwing the biggest party
of the season.

And a servant comes around
and shows me a guest list.

- You should have seen it, kings, queens.
- Humph!

And they put a helicopter at my disposal.

Oh. look, there's a thing called the jet set.
I've been invited like that before.

Oh.

Anyway, I get here and nobody's here.

Except Mandor.

And you know something?
He never even made a pass.

Hmm. Astonishing.

Excuse me, it's time for my shower.

You have disconnected the microphones,
Mr. Solo.

What was it, uh,
you did not want me to overhear?

I was talking to your, uh, guest.

- Charming. Charming, huh?
- Mm-hm.

But I have, uh, mare urgent news tor you.

Your colleague, Kuryakin,
has been captured by Valandros.

I arranged it, Mr. Solo.

But there is really not much
to worry about.

Valandros will keep Kuryakin alive
for a while, anyway.

When he discovers, after all his tortures,
that, uh, Kuryakin has no idea where I am...

...he'll give up and kill him.

I'm going to repay you for this,
Mr. Mandor.

Personally.

Well, you have done about what anyone can
under the circumstances.

You have made the threat,
I take it seriously.

And now a swim.
Relax a little before you leave.

There will be plenty of time
to rescue Mr. Kuryakin.

Naturally, you will have to
attack Valandros.

I'm gambling you will kill him
in the process.

You're going to have to.

AIDE: We have used every method
to probe his mind.

He has no idea where Mandor is.

We were told where to find him,
but we can't trace the tip.

Why?

Whoever tipped us...

...wants me killed by UN.C.L.E.

The master's touch.

All right. Get up, do you hear me?

AIDE:
He can understand.

I am Valandros.

You were betrayed by Mandor.

- Can he speak?
- Now? I think yes.

Repeat after me:

I was betrayed by Mandor.

I was... Mm...

Betrayed.

Betrayed. Repeat after me!

He has not yet been fully treated.

Then treat him!
"I was betrayed by Mandor."

I want him to be able to say nothing else.
"I was betrayed by Mandor."

After destroying his mind,
it will take some time.

Then take the time!
"I was betrayed by Mandor."

And when that's all that he can speak...

...then we'll release him to U.N.C.L.E
before they can effect a rescue.

If I don't succeed in killing Mandor,
maybe U.N.C.L.E. will pay him off.

It's very impressive.
Do you own it or rent it?

I purchased it, with the money your
good organization so graciously provided.

Hmm, that's much better.

Am I to ride all the way to Lisbon in this?

I can assure you,
you will ride most of the way in comfort.

Goodbye, Mr. Solo.
Save your friend Kuryakin.

Do not toy with Valandros.
Kill him quickly.

Is there another little car inside this one?

Climb in.
You can take it to Lisbon and keep it.

Don't look around.

Well, this is my day for surprises.

[LESLIE PANTS]

You did very well.
You didn't move a muscle.

Well, I'm a model.
I could pass for statue if I had to.

Look, I know you got me
out of something bad back there.

I mean, I know you stuck your neck out.

- Did 1?
- Well, of course.

You did arrange it. Didn't you?

I'm afraid I didn't.
I suspect it was Mandor's doing.

MANDOR [OVER RADIO]:
Mr. Solo, do you hear me?

Very clearly, Mr. Mandor.

MANDOR: There is nothing to fear.
The car is not booby-trapped.

1, uh, merely decided to take your advice
and rid myself of Miss Welling.

Rid himself!

She is a weakness. Take care of her.

It's okay, let's get in.

Who is he?

A very dangerous man,
but not for the reasons he just gave.

What does that mean,
"not for the reasons he gave"?

I'm in some kind of danger, I know it.

- Go ahead, tell me, what is it?
- I don't know.

But I know he didn't drag you all the way
out of his villa to let you go. Not this way.

Listen, I'm scared, like out of my wits.

Just relax.

- Where are we going?
- Well, I don't know about you...

...but I've a feeling I'm going to be meeting
a man named Valandros very soon.

Oh, this is Miss Welling, sir.

- Miss Welling. Charmed.
- You must be Mr. Waverly?

Uh, yes. And, uh, this is my secretary,
Miss Lisa Rogers.

1, uh...

I've selected a place where I think
we can keep Miss Welling hidden.

Oh, loak, I've got a beautiful
18th century flat.

And if you just put enough guards
around it--

The place Mr. Waverly had in mind
is the penthouse at the Arguello Hotel.

Oh, the penthouse?

Only until we're sure
what Mandor is up to.

You'll be well protected.

You?

- Ahh--
- Uh, me.

Well, I don't mean to offend you,
but you don't look very menacing.

SOLO:
Hmm.

Appearances can be very deceptive,
Miss Welling.

Would you mind, uh...?

The needle is tipped with poison,
but not a fatal kind, of course.

This, uh, sprays a gas designed to curve
one's aggressive instincts.

Miss Rogers here had occasion to use it--
Uh, how many times?

Six.

Well, only twice in the line of duty.

This little affair fires six bullets
in the space of a second and a half.

I, uh-- Afraid I don't know that one.

LISA:
Oh, that's my compact, sir.

WAVERLY:
Oh.

We'll see you soon, Miss Welling.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Have you made a decision yet
about lllya, sir?

You will get Mr. Kuryakin out, Mr. Solo.

There will be no attack in force.

We can't take the chance
of killing Valandros.

We do that,
we'll lose our hold on Mandor.

These are intelligence reports
of our last three operations.

All we're doing is destroying
Mandor's enemies in Thrush.

Those names he promised to give us?

The Thrush leaders in London, New York
and Moscow?

I'm of the impression, sir, we'd have
to get him up against the wall for those.

We will.

At present, we'll play his game.
You get Kuryakin out of there.

Right away, if it's not too late already.

After that,
we'll settle accounts with Mandor.

Yes, sir.

[GRUNTING]

Take him!

[GUNSHOT]

- What is going on here?
- He won't try this again, he's tranquilized.

Tranquilized?

His treatment was to be finished by now!

Not quite yet, sir. I gave him a heavy dose,
but it'll still be a few hours.

I don't have a few more hours!
Don't you understand that?

- Now you get back at it right now!
- Yes, sir.

[SOLO GRUNTING]

[GUARD GRUNTS]

[MACHINES BEEPING]

It's gone crazy!

Unscramble, Valandros here.

MAN [OVER RADIO]
This is Thrush Intelligence.

- Thrush Intelligence.
- Proceed.

Information has just arrived.
We have located Mandor.

Stand by. We are transmitting a map.

Receiving, proceed.

We are transmitting.

Warehouse.

Attention. We have located Mandor.

VALANDROS [ON RADIO]:
We have located Mandor.

[ALARM RINGING]

Open up. Don't you hear the alarms?

[GUNSHOT]

[ILLYA GROANS]

Hi, uh, hi... Bell.

Yeah, those are alarm bells.
They know where Mandor is.

- Mandor. You remembered Mandor?
- Hmm? I think.

We were in the car together.

- In the hills, with the briefcase. Mandor.
- Mandor... Mandor

Yeah, yeah, I've got that sealed now
with a piece of cement.

The door's locked.
We won't have any problem from them.

There's a hole we got to cover up,
otherwise they might shoot through it.

We've got to figure a way
of getting out of here also.

- Come on, up.
- Ugh!

Okay. Just stand here for a second,
all right?

All right. Okay, now.

- Mandor.
- Okay. Now.

We've got to figure some way
to get out of this.

Give me a hand with this.
Come on, give me a hand. Wake up.

Roll it. Right.

[ILLYA MUMBLES]

Wake up. Come on.

Okay, give me a hand. Come on.

He'll come too soon,
so will the one upstairs.

Okay.

Hmm? Huh?

- Put this on your head.
- Huh?

Put this on. It's a gas mask.

Yeah, I've covered the walls outside
with concentrated teargas.

Body heat is going to set it off. All right?

[ILLYA MUMBLES]

Now.

All right. Keep it that way.

All right, let's get out of here.

- Move out. Come on, up on the stool.
- Hmm? I am home.

- Get your foot up.
- Hey, wait @ minute, wait a minute.

Is my name lllya?

Who cares? Move up, come on,
and get your foot up. Humph!

Outside, outside! Check the ground!

[MEN COUGHING]

The gas will get in!

VALANDROS:
Quick, turn on the power.

ILLYA: It's electrified.
SOLO: I thought it would be.

SOLO:
That rock, there's some plastic explosives.

Begin movement to Mandor.

VALANDROS [ON RADIO]:
Begin movement to Mandor.

[ILLYA SIGHS]

After you called, I sent up a helicopter.

But by the time we got to Valandros' castle,
everything was quiet.

Yeah, his men are already
on their way to Mandor.

Oh, Miss Welling.

We've got to find Mandor's place.

Now, you came in by helicopter...

...So you saw the villa from the air
and all the surrounding terrain.

- Try to remember, Leslie.
- Oh, I can't remember. I--

Wait, there was a huge field of flowers.

Flowers?

Yeah, it was not at the villa,
but it was just before we landed.

Mr. Lench?

Yes, sir, a flower field.

It was way up on the hill.

Hound the field.

And a bridge, a yellow bridge.

I see it.

Motorcyclists.

They're firing at me.

[GUNFIRE]

[GUNFIRE OVER RADIO]

Mr. Lench? Mr. Lench!

Aw. Open Channel F, please.

Lisbon headquarters, quick.

This is Waverly.

- I want every-- Hm?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I've been wondering all along
why Mandor let you go.

Why did he do it? I think I know why.

Out with it, Mr. Solo.

Mandor was sure
that she could lead us to his place.

He wanted her to. Just as he wanted
Valandros' men led there at the same time.

- And you know something?
ILLYA: I know one thing.

- Mandor won't be there.
- Exactly.

He and his men will be somewhere else.
At Valandros' castle.

Killing the one man in the world
Mandor fears most.

Swing around.
We're going back to Mr. Valandros.

I want Mandor alive, lead car.

Mandor alive. Mandor alive!

Mandor is very much alive, Valandros.

Mandor.

- Mandor.
- That is right. Mandor.

Everything was Mandor.

Even the tip that brought you to Lisbon
was Mandor.

I betrayed the U.N.C.L.E. agent...

...to make you think
I wanted U.N.C.L.E. to attack you.

All of your information. All of it.

Even the map you supposedly received
from Thrush headquarters came from me.

Every move was planned.

Every step, thought out in advance.

For you, Valandros,
I pay you a compliment.

I feared you.

[GUNSHOT]

SOLO:
All right, release your weapons. Down.

You're a bit late, Mr. Solo.

It's all over. The man tried to kill me,
I merely defended myself.

[GUNSHOT]

[MANDOR GRUNTS]

The names, in London, Moscow
and New York, of the leaders?

[MEN RUNNING ON TV]

They're going to be here in 10 minutes.
We're going to be out here in five.

No. No, you will not leave me here.

Don't gamble on it, Mandor.

Crude, Mr. Solo.

Very crude.

The names.

Minden, London...

[MANDOR COUGHS]

Kosoff, Moscow...

The plan was perfect.

The girl, is she, uh...?

She was your weakness.

The third name, Mandor?

A moment, huh?

[COUGHS]

[MOTORCYCLES REVVING ON TV]

Anyway,
I'm going to miss that penthouse.

I never stayed in a penthouse before.

- Well, that's a pity.
- Oh, I stayed in a lot of other places.

There was this sheik, Ali Ben--
I forgot his last name.

- But anyway--
- Mr. Solo, mademoiselle.

Yes, you've met my chauffeur, uh...?

You?

Ha. Well, I thought you were an agent
just like him.

He saved my life.
ll try to repay him as I can.

I have been empowered to take you
out on the town with me tonight.

Your usual style, hence the chauffeur.

I, uh, also present gifts.

Come on. You can't be serious.

That's from all of us.

- A book?
- It contains pearls.

Pearls?

Of wisdom.

For the next time someone
invites you some place by helicopter.

The book lists all the bona fide millionaires
in America and Europe.

Oh!

He's not in it.

[LESLIE CHUCKLES]

[ENGLISH SDH]