The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1964–1968): Season 4, Episode 10 - The Survival School Affair - full transcript
Kuryakin is sent to UNCLE's secret training school on a remote island. He has to find out which trainee among of a soon-to-graduate group is really a mole for Thrush. Helping him is another agent posing as a trainee. Kuryakin must also deal with the obsessive head of the school, Jules Cutter.
MAN: Stand by to launch raft
from forward hatch.
Whenever you're ready, Mr. Kuryakin.
The old alma mater.
MAN: Wouldn't it be mare
convenient for UN.C.LE...
...to put their survival school
some place a little more accessible?
Well, it's supposed to be secret.
An uncharted island 700 miles
off the shipping lanes.
Yeah, that's pretty secret.
Open Channel R, please.
Cutter here, Station R.
It's Kuryakin here, sir.
I would like a break in security
to allow me to come ashore.
Verify identification.
Code Marlin 12.
Deactivate all perimeter explosives
on Section Charlie.
I thought Solo was coming.
Yes, he was, but he was given
another assignment at the last minute.
All right, you're cleared. There'll be a man
to meet you on the beach, Kuryakin.
Thank you, sir. It's been a long time.
I'm looking forward to a pleasant visit.
Don't count on it.
You've got exactly 10 minutes
to clear island security perimeter. Out.
He's not exactly Mr. Personality,
is he?
ILLYA: Yeah, Mr. Cutter takes his job
a little too seriously.
[MAN CHUCKLES]
MAN:
Good luck.
[RUSTLE]
Who's there?
MAN:
You?
[GUN CLATTERS]
[MAN GAGGING AND YELLING]
[WHISPERS]
Double agent, Thrush.
Double agent?
WOMAN:
Don't move.
You are making a mistake.
Really? And I thought you were the one
who had made the mistake.
CUTTER:
A very effective piece of jewelry.
Collar tightens and tightens and tightens.
Tightens and tightens until:
Thrush uses it to avoid the noise of a gun
and the uncertainty of a knife.
Oh, the details again, Miss Hargrove?
I was taking a swim last night when I saw
a rubber life raft moving to shore.
That's all? You saw nothing
from the jungle or the rocks?
No, sir.
By the time I could get
close enough to investigate...
...Mr. Kuryakin was bending
over Agent Phillips.
And Phillips was dead.
And do you often take moonlight swims
on lonely deserted beaches?
Trainees are permitted time off
to do as they wish.
Yes, I'm familiar with the rules here.
There'll be maximum security in this matter.
You're dismissed.
Class of '59, wasn't it, Mr. Kuryakin?
- No, '56, sir.
CUTTER: Oh.
If you remember, you kept me here
an extra month...
...to instruct
the explosives and demolition class.
Oh, yes, I recall.
You were moderately good at it.
ILLYA:
From you, that's a rare compliment.
Are these the assignments
for the graduates?
Yes, security didn't want them sent
by radio.
Let's stop waltzing, Mr. Kuryakin.
Waverly doesn't send his top agents out
as messengers.
You're here
because of suspected Thrush infiltration.
Yes, and headquarters thought
you might like some assistance.
Yes, well, I sent for an undercover agent
several weeks ago...
...right after the code book was stolen.
He's here now, posing as a trainee.
But since graduation is near
and you haven't learned anything yet...
...Mr. Waverly thought--
What does Mr. Waverly know
about running a school?
He's sitting in a desk 2000 miles away.
He takes the final responsibility--
I know he takes
the final responsibility.
But this school means a great deal
to me, Mr. Kuryakin.
Everyone at U.N.C.L.E. is aware
of your dedication--
No, they're not, not everyone. Not the man
that was killed on the beach last night.
[MAN GRUNTS]
CUTTER: Five and a half seconds.
You should've done it in four.
You still like
to spring your little surprises.
Well, it's always interesting
to see how much our older students...
...have retained of their training.
John Saimes,
one of our advanced students.
This is lllya Kuryakin,
Section Two, Headquarters.
My pleasure, Mr. Kuryakin.
You throw a nice flip.
I've applied for Section Two.
We might be working together someday.
I'll look forward to it.
-1f that'll be all, sir.
- You're dismissed.
Your star pupil?
On the contrary.
His status is questionable.
You still haven't told me
where we're going.
Why don't we find some place
to talk business...
...where there isn't a possibility
of a security leak?
Still wasting live ammunition?
Of course. In our kind of work, the element
of death must be constantly present.
Well, crawling under the guns
does sharpen the reflexes.
Well, it's required duty for everyone.
[GUNFIRE]
I assume you've notified Mr. Waverly
about the murder.
Reluctantly.
I want to try
to find the possible suspect myself.
You don't have very much time,
unless you wanna graduate a Thrush agent.
All the trainees knew what happened.
I'm certain all of them will be of help.
ILLYA:
All except one.
And we don't who that one is.
Now, look, this is my school,
and I'll find him.
ILLYA: You're not running
a one-man operation, Mr. Cutter.
There are normal procedures,
chains of command.
Don't wave the flag at me, Mr. Kuryakin.
My wife and our unborn child
were killed in Ankara...
...by @ Thrush bomb with my name on it.
I got one purpose left,
and one purpose only.
That's to eradicate Thrush
with a constant supply of trained agents.
Now, on this island, the chain of command
begins and ends right here.
Anybody hurt?
Must've shaken itself loose, sir.
- Aren't you supposed to be in class?
- I was just on my way, sir, when, uh...
When you accidentally noticed
this defective machine-gun mount?
Considering what's happened recently...
...1 think we all try to, uh,
anticipate trouble when we can, sir.
Your initiative is appreciated.
Glad I could help out.
Uh, Mr. Kuryakin, isn't it?
- Section Two?
- That's right.
Andrew Hague, sir.
Trainees have heard a lot about you,
Mr. Kuryakin.
Rumor has it you're here because of the--
We don't deal in rumors at this school,
Mr. Hague. You're dismissed.
Yes, sir.
He's good. He's too good.
He's too sure of himself.
There's got to be a flaw somewhere.
Two days from graduation
doesn't give you much time to find it.
That's if I let him graduate.
He's cocky and he's overconfident.
That could be more dangerous
than incompetence.
Did he have access
to the stolen code book?
Mr. Kuryakin, every trainee had access
to that code book.
ILLYA: Why should a Thrush infiltrator
bother to steal anything?
He'll be graduating in a few days.
Within a year,
he could have all our secrets.
CUTTER: But Mr. Kuryakin,
that code book just didn't blow away.
Supposing it was stolen
by a Thrush double agent...
...then that agent must suspect
he isn't graduating.
In which case, he's gonna try
and do as much damage as he can...
...while he's still here.
Including murder, if necessary.
I'm the only one who decides
who won't graduate.
And I haven't decided yet.
Yes, but you do know the ones
most likely to fail.
And they're our prime suspects.
Melissa Hargrove, Andrew Hague,
John Saimes.
All possible failures.
Melissa Hargrove.
Radcliffe graduate,
collegiate tennis and fencing champion.
Proficient in five languages.
Outstanding training record.
However, she seems to be emotional
and unstable.
Those moonlight swims...
...and her inattentiveness frequently
at lectures.
Acts like @ woman in love.
And that's not in your manual
of training?
Certainly not at this school.
Andrew Hague, you know him.
Former U.S. Army sergeant,
he's got an excellent combat record.
Aggressive, eager to please,
seems to be overconfident.
Might be a glory seeker.
Highly questionable.
John Saimes,
your friendly adversary this morning.
A five-letter man at Annapolis.
Former Naval Intelligence officer.
Excellent leadership qualities.
One major weakness: women.
However, good record.
[RADIO BEEPING]
WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]:
! have bad news for you, Mr. Cutter.
Well, that's just about the only news
I've been getting here lately, Mr. Waverly.
I've just received this directive
from our Security Committee.
The last paragraph may interest you.
"Unless the crisis at the survival school
is resolved...
...before the forthcoming graduation,
the entire class is to be dismissed...
...and the school closed indefinitely."
You'd close the school?
Punish the entire class
because of one member?
That one member is obviously working
for Thrush.
Mr. Waverly,
we're doing everything we can.
That, apparently, isn't enough.
Even the undercover agent
you requested...
...has failed to turn up
any substantial information.
I will contact the man
at the first available opportunity, sir.
Good.
Now, this is a very serious situation,
gentlemen.
The school must be closed
unless the Thrush double agent...
...is found immediately.
With just a little more time, Mr. Waverly.
Twenty-four hours, that's all.
- Oh, and, Mr. Kuryakin.
- Yes, sir?
WAVERLY: You will share responsibility
with Mr. Cutter...
...for ending this threat
to our very existence.
Of course.
Well, that's all. Good luck.
Oh, uh, Mr. Solo sends his best to you.
CUTTER: The truth. I'll get it
if I have to sweat every--
Turn this into an inquisition,
and you'll destroy morale.
If that doesn't work, I'll use truth serum,
hypnosis, polygraph--
I don't think it will be necessary to resort
to such extremes, Mr. Cutter.
All right, Mr. Kuryakin.
We'll do as Mr. Waverly suggests.
We'll share, 50-50.
He gave us 24 hours
to find the Thrush agent.
All right, you got the first 12
to do it your way.
Then I'll try it mine.
It's your move.
Melissa Hargrove.
Well, she's efficient.
[DOOR CREAKS]
Just look at that. Perfect reflexes.
Almost too perfect.
Excuse me.
Miss Hargrove?
I come in peace.
Is this a social call, Mr. Kuryakin?
Or a casual interrogation
of the number one suspect?
You?
Il was at the scene of the crime now,
wasn't 1?
- But so was I.
- There's a difference.
I'm a trainee, you're a respected
and trusted member of Section Two.
Well, that does give me
a certain advantage, doesn't it?
[ALARM BLARING]
Cutter here. All right, read on.
Yeah. I'll handle it.
Yellow alert. Sentry Post 5.
That's where
CUTTER:
John Saimes, one of your suspects.
Help him up.
ILLYA:
He's coming to.
CUTTER:
What happened?
A8 prowler, sir, ...
I called the alert in.
That's when he clobbered me.
MELISSA:
Johnny. I...
Relax, Melissa, I'm all right.
We were concerned about Johnny.
When you said yellow alert
at Sentry Post 5...
...well, we all knew
that he was on duty here.
Did you see him before he hit you?
Uh, not enough to identify him.
And he was wearing one
of our uniforms, sir.
CUTTER:
Well, he could still be in the area.
Deploy and search.
[GRUNTING]
[CUTTER YELLS]
Harry.
All right, Mr. Kuryakin and I
will take care of things from here on.
Get back to your assignments.
Go on.
Let's revive him
and I'll get a confession out of him.
I'm afraid not, Kuryakin.
- Have you ever seen this man before?
- No.
Well, we work for a pretty big company.
Harry Williams from U.N.C.L.E.
ID 0-7-9.
My undercover agent.
CUTTER:
Take the prisoner into my office.
Do you think Miss Hargrove
and the other trainees bought our act?
- Possibly.
- Well, it doesn't makes much difference.
I got myself a top undercover agent,
and he blows his cover.
He's certainly no good to me now.
- What happened?
- Harry Williams.
Looks like he's turned out
to be a Thrush double agent.
Or at least, that's what Cutter
and Kuryakin want us to believe.
And you don't?
Cutter was awfully anxious
to get rid of Johnny and me.
Williams could be an undercover man
for UN.C.L.E. sent out here to spy on us.
- Is that so bad?
- It could be for one of us.
SAIMES: I owe you something
tor that clout in the head.
CUTTER:
That'll be all.
- Sir, I'd like a chance to talk to this man--
- Isaid that'll be all. You're dismissed.
SAIMES:
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry we didn't meet
under more pleasant circumstances.
My name is lllya Kuryakin.
Yes, I know.
Mr. Waverly said you're gonna be here.
CUTTER: We can just dispense
with the amenities.
What the devil
were you doing there, Williams?
Well, I was looking back
over the murder site.
Any luck?
There's one spot where the sand
has been sort of stirred up...
...as if maybe someone's been digging,
buried something.
Can you show us the exact location?
It's, uh, right about here,
at the base of a large rock formation.
And I started poking around.
That's when Saimes showed up.
- Did he see what you were doing?
- Yeah.
Played hide-and-seek for a while,
then I shook him.
After that,
I guess he, uh, rang the alert, huh?
A violation of every basic rule of survival.
You got away from him,
then you returned on purpose...
...risking everything
just to knock him out.
Stupid.
I agree with you, Mr. Cutter.
- Why? Why did you do it?
- I didn't.
And if you didn't, who did?
Sorry, lllya. From where I was hiding,
I couldn't see Saimes or anybody else.
If this mess isn't cleared up,
you know, we won't graduate.
SAIMES: Cutter knows his business.
He'll solve it.
MELISSA: Particularly with Kuryakin
breathing down his neck.
Well, all I know is something better happen
pretty soon.
Last week, the code book was stolen.
Last night, Phillips gets murdered.
Your reflex is slow.
I almost got one shot off.
Thanks. I'll work on it.
MELISSA:
If Williams is a Thrush double agent...
...he wasn't very smart getting trapped
on the beach.
HAGUE: More important,
what was he doing on the beach?
You should've adjusted
the homing control.
That way, the pellet will reach
the grenade at the top of its arc.
I vote we do a little private investigating
of our own.
If you mean the beach, that's off-limits.
Anyone caught there
would be dismissed from school.
Won't make any difference either way
if our whole class gets washed out.
[SCOFFS]
I wonder if the great Mr. Kuryakin
could react that quickly.
[FOOTSTEPS]
[CLATTER]
Your reason for being here
had better be as good as mine.
You better come out slowly
and tell me what it is.
ILLYA:
ll never saw his face.
By the time the smoke had gone,
so had he.
Brilliant. Brilliant.
One of our top agents from Section Two
almost gets himself killed...
...playing in the sand.
Those footprints,
why can"t we make castings--?
Whoever it was smoothed over the sand
with a palm branch.
Six thirty-eight, and a half hour's wasted.
It's about time that I took charge.
Now, wait a minute, we have bargain.
For what, to foul up again?
About the only thing you've accomplished
is making our undercover agent a suspect.
Supposing Harry Williams
were a suspect?
It's happened before.
Thrush agents infiltrating our security.
If you really
were a Thrush agent, Williams--
What would you do, Mr. Cutter?
Well, I'd know how to get the truth out
of him, Mr. Kuryakin.
- How?
CUTTER: Since you were last here...
...a bonus has been added
to the endurance course.
It's called the pit.
A few hours in the pit,
and I'm sure he'd tell us...
...whatever we wanted to know.
If we were able
to convince the trainees...
...that you really
were a Thrush agent, Williams...
...we might be able
to get the man we want.
Yeah, that wouldn't track out,
gentlemen.
No, the real double agent's
gonna be laughing up his sleeve...
...and I'm gonna be sweating it out
in the pit.
Oh, no, no, not necessarily.
You didn't know Kuryakin nor he you.
It could be the same with Thrush.
Exactly.
If the double agent really believed
you were on his side--
He'd help me escape.
Unless he thought
you might give away his cover.
In which case,
he'd probably try and kill you.
[ALARM BLARING]
Williams escaped.
This way.
He's more valuable alive.
I wasn't gonna kill him, Mr. Kuryakin.
SAIMES:
Move it.
I trust you'll enjoy the accommodations.
Come on.
We'll send you
a graduation announcement, Williams.
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
That stunt could've got Williams killed.
ILLYA:
Well, it had to look authentic.
Open Channel B.
[RADIO BEEPING]
- Williams here.
- Just checking.
It's little damp and dreary, but you know
how dungeons are these days.
That was a quite an act you put on
in the yard.
You look very frightened.
It wasn't any act.
We have electronic alarms hidden
in every entrance to the dungeon.
We'll be alerted the minute
anyone enters the area.
Yeah, well, I wasn't planning
on getting much sleep tonight anyway.
Well, that's all for now.
Keep your communicator handy...
...and let us know
if you hear anyone approaching.
It, uh, just might be a double agent
coming to kill you.
It's nice to know that somebody cares.
[CLOCK CHIMING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
What's the matter?
You know better than to come here.
It never bothered you before.
And now's not the time.
They're watching every one of us.
Our romance is the best-kept secret
on the island.
You don't give Cutter enough credit.
Is it so important we graduate?
It's important that I graduate.
Sorry to have interrupted
your precious career, Mr. Saimes.
Hey.
Now, why don't we forget the arguments
till after the wedding?
If that's a definite proposal,
I'd like it in writing.
I'd even carve it in stone.
Later.
Come here,
I wanna show you something.
MELISSA:
What's all this?
SAIMES: A blueprint
for the entire island installation.
Don't tell me
that's part of your homework.
In a way.
I've been figuring out
how to become a hero.
I could use your help.
Anything you say, Johnny.
If ll can find out how Thrush got a man
on this island., their whole setup...
...well, Cutter wouldn't just graduate me,
he'd probably nominate me for president.
I like @ man with ambition.
But where's all this beautiful Thrush
information supposed to come from?
Harry Williams.
You're not serious.
He's under Class A security.
Listen, Melissa, if Cutter finds out about us,
that's all he'd need to wash me out.
Now, I've gotta make some bonus points
with or without your help.
All right, Johnny,
I'll help you any way I can.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised
if you were the double agent...
...trying to exploit me.
Now...
We gotta break Williams
out of the dungeon.
We'll tell him we're both
from Thrush too.
And we"ll convince him we've got a
submarine on the bay to help him escape.
- Who'd buy that story?
- A real Thrush agent in trouble.
But what if he isn't a real Thrush agent?
Well, then I think it's about time
we found that out for sure, don't you?
You're forgetting one small detail,
darling.
The dungeon
has an elaborate alarm system.
So it does.
[CLOCK CHIMING]
[STATIC BUZZING OVER RADIO]
You've got 15 minutes left,
and I take over the investigation my way.
- I need more time.
CUTTER: You've had 12 hours.
Harry Williams almost got himself killed
setting this trap.
It needs time to make it work.
A bargain, that's what you called it.
Now, I've kept up my end, you keep yours.
This is Cutter.
I want all the trainees assembled
in the briefing room at exactly 10 p.m.
This is still my school,
and still my responsibility.
SAIMES:
Melissa, the blueprint.
HAGUE:
Melissa?
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
What are you doing out here?
- Just getting some air.
- Oh.
Uh, Cutter wants us
in the briefing room at 10:00.
MELISSA:
I'll be there.
- Sounds important. Don't be late.
- I won't. Thanks.
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
MELISSA:
Okay, he's gone.
[CLATTERING]
[FOOTSTEPS]
Open Channel B.
[RADIO BEEPING]
- Kuryakin here.
- I've got company.
What?
The alarm system isn't working.
I'm on my way.
[FOOTSTEPS]
SENTRY:
Halt.
Illya Kuryakin, Section Two.
Come with me, I need help.
You're wanted in the briefing room,
Mr. Kuryakin.
ILLYA:
I've no time to stand here and argue.
My orders are nobody goes anywhere
except the briefing room.
Somebody is breaking into the dungeon.
- No alarm has sounded.
- The alarms aren't working.
That will have to be verified
in the control room.
Well, your rifle's filthy.
[SENTRY GRUNTS]
Harry? Harry?
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
You're in trouble, Mr. Kuryakin.
Attacking that, uh, sentry outside.
Now helping a prisoner escape.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
ILLYA:
Excuse me.
[ILLYA GRUNTS]
If you're from Thrush,
why the gun in my back?
MELISSA:
Does that help?
HARRY:
I can feel the difference already.
MELISSA:
Johnny.
Glad we could help you out of the pit,
Williams.
- He's from Thrush.
- It's good to be with friends.
Is it?
Over there.
Move.
That's far enough.
MELISSA:
Johnny, what are you doing?
SAIMES:
Start digging.
Johnny, I don't understand.
You will, Melissa, you will.
[ILLYA SPITS]
[ILLYA COUGHS AND GASPS]
All right, Kuryakin, come on, let's go.
You've had your little nap.
Come on.
[ILLYA GRUNTS
AND HAGUE CHUCKLES]
Come on.
[HAGUE GRUNTS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SENTRY GRUNTS]
HARRY:
That solves one mystery, doesn't it?
The others will be solved
in due course, Williams.
Johnny, will you please explain
what that book's doing here?
It's very simple, Miss Hargrove.
Your friend stole the code book
and buried it.
Williams almost found it this morning.
I had to dig it up and bury it again.
But you were attacked,
knocked unconscious.
SAIMES: Basic rule seven,
Deception and Cover course.
All part of the game, Melissa.
I win, you lose.
- The game includes graduation, Saimes.
- You're wrong, Williams.
Just like you were wrong
to think a real Thrush agent...
...would buy you as a comrade.
All right, what's the next step?
SAIMES:
ll intend to graduate with honors.
As you say, very simple.
I discovered the real Thrush agent
helping you escape.
I tried to stop her
like any good U.N.C.L.E. trainee should.
But she fought me.
And naturally, I had to kill her.
You were already dead.
[HARRY GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[RADIO BEEPING]
HARRY [OVER RADIO]:
Iilya?
Harry, where are you?
Sentry Post 5. Listen, Saimes is our boy.
I'm pinned down, so is Agent Hargrove.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
Just a minute.
Williams, Melissa Hargrove,
they're in the rocks.
She helped him escape.
They're armed, shoot to kill.
Illya, you better get here fast.
Saimes just got himself
some reinforcements.
We're over here.
Both of us.
Hold it. She's giving herself up.
- Who's doing all the shooting?
- Everybody, and Harry Williams, the target.
The alarm systems aren't working.
You better get on the PA system and tell
them they're shooting at the wrong man.
[PANTING]
CUTTER [OVER SPEAKER]:
Attention, all UN.C.L.E. personnel.
This is Cutter speaking.
Harry Williams is not, repeat,
not an enemy of this organization.
He is not to be harmed
under any circumstances.
Repeat, Harry Williams is not an enemy.
He is not to be harmed.
He is not to be harmed.
[PANTING]
Duck, Harry!
You haven't a chance, Saimes.
Try and stop me.
Cutter's survival school
gets tougher every year.
So does surviving.
CUTTER:
One moment, gentlemen. One moment.
The trainees expected the brass
to stay for the graduation.
ILLYA: Mr. Waverly is sending a helicopter,
as I have to go back to headquarters...
...and Harry has an assignment in Bolivia.
Oh, well, in that case, goodbye
and good luck.
[GRUNTING]
Four and three-tenths seconds.
Well, that's an improvement, Kuryakin.
However, you should've done it in four.
I'm sure Mr. Solo could have.
ILLYA:
I'm sure he could.
Though Mr. Solo has better things to do
than play games.
It's been a pleasure.
MELISSA:
Mind it I hitch a ride?
HARRY:
Be delighted. What about graduation?
HAGUE:
We've resigned.
I decided I'm not cut out
to be a team man.
And I think I'd rather be a woman
than an agent.
Too dangerous?
Being @ woman? Very dangerous.
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
[ENGLISH SDH]
from forward hatch.
Whenever you're ready, Mr. Kuryakin.
The old alma mater.
MAN: Wouldn't it be mare
convenient for UN.C.LE...
...to put their survival school
some place a little more accessible?
Well, it's supposed to be secret.
An uncharted island 700 miles
off the shipping lanes.
Yeah, that's pretty secret.
Open Channel R, please.
Cutter here, Station R.
It's Kuryakin here, sir.
I would like a break in security
to allow me to come ashore.
Verify identification.
Code Marlin 12.
Deactivate all perimeter explosives
on Section Charlie.
I thought Solo was coming.
Yes, he was, but he was given
another assignment at the last minute.
All right, you're cleared. There'll be a man
to meet you on the beach, Kuryakin.
Thank you, sir. It's been a long time.
I'm looking forward to a pleasant visit.
Don't count on it.
You've got exactly 10 minutes
to clear island security perimeter. Out.
He's not exactly Mr. Personality,
is he?
ILLYA: Yeah, Mr. Cutter takes his job
a little too seriously.
[MAN CHUCKLES]
MAN:
Good luck.
[RUSTLE]
Who's there?
MAN:
You?
[GUN CLATTERS]
[MAN GAGGING AND YELLING]
[WHISPERS]
Double agent, Thrush.
Double agent?
WOMAN:
Don't move.
You are making a mistake.
Really? And I thought you were the one
who had made the mistake.
CUTTER:
A very effective piece of jewelry.
Collar tightens and tightens and tightens.
Tightens and tightens until:
Thrush uses it to avoid the noise of a gun
and the uncertainty of a knife.
Oh, the details again, Miss Hargrove?
I was taking a swim last night when I saw
a rubber life raft moving to shore.
That's all? You saw nothing
from the jungle or the rocks?
No, sir.
By the time I could get
close enough to investigate...
...Mr. Kuryakin was bending
over Agent Phillips.
And Phillips was dead.
And do you often take moonlight swims
on lonely deserted beaches?
Trainees are permitted time off
to do as they wish.
Yes, I'm familiar with the rules here.
There'll be maximum security in this matter.
You're dismissed.
Class of '59, wasn't it, Mr. Kuryakin?
- No, '56, sir.
CUTTER: Oh.
If you remember, you kept me here
an extra month...
...to instruct
the explosives and demolition class.
Oh, yes, I recall.
You were moderately good at it.
ILLYA:
From you, that's a rare compliment.
Are these the assignments
for the graduates?
Yes, security didn't want them sent
by radio.
Let's stop waltzing, Mr. Kuryakin.
Waverly doesn't send his top agents out
as messengers.
You're here
because of suspected Thrush infiltration.
Yes, and headquarters thought
you might like some assistance.
Yes, well, I sent for an undercover agent
several weeks ago...
...right after the code book was stolen.
He's here now, posing as a trainee.
But since graduation is near
and you haven't learned anything yet...
...Mr. Waverly thought--
What does Mr. Waverly know
about running a school?
He's sitting in a desk 2000 miles away.
He takes the final responsibility--
I know he takes
the final responsibility.
But this school means a great deal
to me, Mr. Kuryakin.
Everyone at U.N.C.L.E. is aware
of your dedication--
No, they're not, not everyone. Not the man
that was killed on the beach last night.
[MAN GRUNTS]
CUTTER: Five and a half seconds.
You should've done it in four.
You still like
to spring your little surprises.
Well, it's always interesting
to see how much our older students...
...have retained of their training.
John Saimes,
one of our advanced students.
This is lllya Kuryakin,
Section Two, Headquarters.
My pleasure, Mr. Kuryakin.
You throw a nice flip.
I've applied for Section Two.
We might be working together someday.
I'll look forward to it.
-1f that'll be all, sir.
- You're dismissed.
Your star pupil?
On the contrary.
His status is questionable.
You still haven't told me
where we're going.
Why don't we find some place
to talk business...
...where there isn't a possibility
of a security leak?
Still wasting live ammunition?
Of course. In our kind of work, the element
of death must be constantly present.
Well, crawling under the guns
does sharpen the reflexes.
Well, it's required duty for everyone.
[GUNFIRE]
I assume you've notified Mr. Waverly
about the murder.
Reluctantly.
I want to try
to find the possible suspect myself.
You don't have very much time,
unless you wanna graduate a Thrush agent.
All the trainees knew what happened.
I'm certain all of them will be of help.
ILLYA:
All except one.
And we don't who that one is.
Now, look, this is my school,
and I'll find him.
ILLYA: You're not running
a one-man operation, Mr. Cutter.
There are normal procedures,
chains of command.
Don't wave the flag at me, Mr. Kuryakin.
My wife and our unborn child
were killed in Ankara...
...by @ Thrush bomb with my name on it.
I got one purpose left,
and one purpose only.
That's to eradicate Thrush
with a constant supply of trained agents.
Now, on this island, the chain of command
begins and ends right here.
Anybody hurt?
Must've shaken itself loose, sir.
- Aren't you supposed to be in class?
- I was just on my way, sir, when, uh...
When you accidentally noticed
this defective machine-gun mount?
Considering what's happened recently...
...1 think we all try to, uh,
anticipate trouble when we can, sir.
Your initiative is appreciated.
Glad I could help out.
Uh, Mr. Kuryakin, isn't it?
- Section Two?
- That's right.
Andrew Hague, sir.
Trainees have heard a lot about you,
Mr. Kuryakin.
Rumor has it you're here because of the--
We don't deal in rumors at this school,
Mr. Hague. You're dismissed.
Yes, sir.
He's good. He's too good.
He's too sure of himself.
There's got to be a flaw somewhere.
Two days from graduation
doesn't give you much time to find it.
That's if I let him graduate.
He's cocky and he's overconfident.
That could be more dangerous
than incompetence.
Did he have access
to the stolen code book?
Mr. Kuryakin, every trainee had access
to that code book.
ILLYA: Why should a Thrush infiltrator
bother to steal anything?
He'll be graduating in a few days.
Within a year,
he could have all our secrets.
CUTTER: But Mr. Kuryakin,
that code book just didn't blow away.
Supposing it was stolen
by a Thrush double agent...
...then that agent must suspect
he isn't graduating.
In which case, he's gonna try
and do as much damage as he can...
...while he's still here.
Including murder, if necessary.
I'm the only one who decides
who won't graduate.
And I haven't decided yet.
Yes, but you do know the ones
most likely to fail.
And they're our prime suspects.
Melissa Hargrove, Andrew Hague,
John Saimes.
All possible failures.
Melissa Hargrove.
Radcliffe graduate,
collegiate tennis and fencing champion.
Proficient in five languages.
Outstanding training record.
However, she seems to be emotional
and unstable.
Those moonlight swims...
...and her inattentiveness frequently
at lectures.
Acts like @ woman in love.
And that's not in your manual
of training?
Certainly not at this school.
Andrew Hague, you know him.
Former U.S. Army sergeant,
he's got an excellent combat record.
Aggressive, eager to please,
seems to be overconfident.
Might be a glory seeker.
Highly questionable.
John Saimes,
your friendly adversary this morning.
A five-letter man at Annapolis.
Former Naval Intelligence officer.
Excellent leadership qualities.
One major weakness: women.
However, good record.
[RADIO BEEPING]
WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]:
! have bad news for you, Mr. Cutter.
Well, that's just about the only news
I've been getting here lately, Mr. Waverly.
I've just received this directive
from our Security Committee.
The last paragraph may interest you.
"Unless the crisis at the survival school
is resolved...
...before the forthcoming graduation,
the entire class is to be dismissed...
...and the school closed indefinitely."
You'd close the school?
Punish the entire class
because of one member?
That one member is obviously working
for Thrush.
Mr. Waverly,
we're doing everything we can.
That, apparently, isn't enough.
Even the undercover agent
you requested...
...has failed to turn up
any substantial information.
I will contact the man
at the first available opportunity, sir.
Good.
Now, this is a very serious situation,
gentlemen.
The school must be closed
unless the Thrush double agent...
...is found immediately.
With just a little more time, Mr. Waverly.
Twenty-four hours, that's all.
- Oh, and, Mr. Kuryakin.
- Yes, sir?
WAVERLY: You will share responsibility
with Mr. Cutter...
...for ending this threat
to our very existence.
Of course.
Well, that's all. Good luck.
Oh, uh, Mr. Solo sends his best to you.
CUTTER: The truth. I'll get it
if I have to sweat every--
Turn this into an inquisition,
and you'll destroy morale.
If that doesn't work, I'll use truth serum,
hypnosis, polygraph--
I don't think it will be necessary to resort
to such extremes, Mr. Cutter.
All right, Mr. Kuryakin.
We'll do as Mr. Waverly suggests.
We'll share, 50-50.
He gave us 24 hours
to find the Thrush agent.
All right, you got the first 12
to do it your way.
Then I'll try it mine.
It's your move.
Melissa Hargrove.
Well, she's efficient.
[DOOR CREAKS]
Just look at that. Perfect reflexes.
Almost too perfect.
Excuse me.
Miss Hargrove?
I come in peace.
Is this a social call, Mr. Kuryakin?
Or a casual interrogation
of the number one suspect?
You?
Il was at the scene of the crime now,
wasn't 1?
- But so was I.
- There's a difference.
I'm a trainee, you're a respected
and trusted member of Section Two.
Well, that does give me
a certain advantage, doesn't it?
[ALARM BLARING]
Cutter here. All right, read on.
Yeah. I'll handle it.
Yellow alert. Sentry Post 5.
That's where
CUTTER:
John Saimes, one of your suspects.
Help him up.
ILLYA:
He's coming to.
CUTTER:
What happened?
A8 prowler, sir, ...
I called the alert in.
That's when he clobbered me.
MELISSA:
Johnny. I...
Relax, Melissa, I'm all right.
We were concerned about Johnny.
When you said yellow alert
at Sentry Post 5...
...well, we all knew
that he was on duty here.
Did you see him before he hit you?
Uh, not enough to identify him.
And he was wearing one
of our uniforms, sir.
CUTTER:
Well, he could still be in the area.
Deploy and search.
[GRUNTING]
[CUTTER YELLS]
Harry.
All right, Mr. Kuryakin and I
will take care of things from here on.
Get back to your assignments.
Go on.
Let's revive him
and I'll get a confession out of him.
I'm afraid not, Kuryakin.
- Have you ever seen this man before?
- No.
Well, we work for a pretty big company.
Harry Williams from U.N.C.L.E.
ID 0-7-9.
My undercover agent.
CUTTER:
Take the prisoner into my office.
Do you think Miss Hargrove
and the other trainees bought our act?
- Possibly.
- Well, it doesn't makes much difference.
I got myself a top undercover agent,
and he blows his cover.
He's certainly no good to me now.
- What happened?
- Harry Williams.
Looks like he's turned out
to be a Thrush double agent.
Or at least, that's what Cutter
and Kuryakin want us to believe.
And you don't?
Cutter was awfully anxious
to get rid of Johnny and me.
Williams could be an undercover man
for UN.C.L.E. sent out here to spy on us.
- Is that so bad?
- It could be for one of us.
SAIMES: I owe you something
tor that clout in the head.
CUTTER:
That'll be all.
- Sir, I'd like a chance to talk to this man--
- Isaid that'll be all. You're dismissed.
SAIMES:
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry we didn't meet
under more pleasant circumstances.
My name is lllya Kuryakin.
Yes, I know.
Mr. Waverly said you're gonna be here.
CUTTER: We can just dispense
with the amenities.
What the devil
were you doing there, Williams?
Well, I was looking back
over the murder site.
Any luck?
There's one spot where the sand
has been sort of stirred up...
...as if maybe someone's been digging,
buried something.
Can you show us the exact location?
It's, uh, right about here,
at the base of a large rock formation.
And I started poking around.
That's when Saimes showed up.
- Did he see what you were doing?
- Yeah.
Played hide-and-seek for a while,
then I shook him.
After that,
I guess he, uh, rang the alert, huh?
A violation of every basic rule of survival.
You got away from him,
then you returned on purpose...
...risking everything
just to knock him out.
Stupid.
I agree with you, Mr. Cutter.
- Why? Why did you do it?
- I didn't.
And if you didn't, who did?
Sorry, lllya. From where I was hiding,
I couldn't see Saimes or anybody else.
If this mess isn't cleared up,
you know, we won't graduate.
SAIMES: Cutter knows his business.
He'll solve it.
MELISSA: Particularly with Kuryakin
breathing down his neck.
Well, all I know is something better happen
pretty soon.
Last week, the code book was stolen.
Last night, Phillips gets murdered.
Your reflex is slow.
I almost got one shot off.
Thanks. I'll work on it.
MELISSA:
If Williams is a Thrush double agent...
...he wasn't very smart getting trapped
on the beach.
HAGUE: More important,
what was he doing on the beach?
You should've adjusted
the homing control.
That way, the pellet will reach
the grenade at the top of its arc.
I vote we do a little private investigating
of our own.
If you mean the beach, that's off-limits.
Anyone caught there
would be dismissed from school.
Won't make any difference either way
if our whole class gets washed out.
[SCOFFS]
I wonder if the great Mr. Kuryakin
could react that quickly.
[FOOTSTEPS]
[CLATTER]
Your reason for being here
had better be as good as mine.
You better come out slowly
and tell me what it is.
ILLYA:
ll never saw his face.
By the time the smoke had gone,
so had he.
Brilliant. Brilliant.
One of our top agents from Section Two
almost gets himself killed...
...playing in the sand.
Those footprints,
why can"t we make castings--?
Whoever it was smoothed over the sand
with a palm branch.
Six thirty-eight, and a half hour's wasted.
It's about time that I took charge.
Now, wait a minute, we have bargain.
For what, to foul up again?
About the only thing you've accomplished
is making our undercover agent a suspect.
Supposing Harry Williams
were a suspect?
It's happened before.
Thrush agents infiltrating our security.
If you really
were a Thrush agent, Williams--
What would you do, Mr. Cutter?
Well, I'd know how to get the truth out
of him, Mr. Kuryakin.
- How?
CUTTER: Since you were last here...
...a bonus has been added
to the endurance course.
It's called the pit.
A few hours in the pit,
and I'm sure he'd tell us...
...whatever we wanted to know.
If we were able
to convince the trainees...
...that you really
were a Thrush agent, Williams...
...we might be able
to get the man we want.
Yeah, that wouldn't track out,
gentlemen.
No, the real double agent's
gonna be laughing up his sleeve...
...and I'm gonna be sweating it out
in the pit.
Oh, no, no, not necessarily.
You didn't know Kuryakin nor he you.
It could be the same with Thrush.
Exactly.
If the double agent really believed
you were on his side--
He'd help me escape.
Unless he thought
you might give away his cover.
In which case,
he'd probably try and kill you.
[ALARM BLARING]
Williams escaped.
This way.
He's more valuable alive.
I wasn't gonna kill him, Mr. Kuryakin.
SAIMES:
Move it.
I trust you'll enjoy the accommodations.
Come on.
We'll send you
a graduation announcement, Williams.
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
That stunt could've got Williams killed.
ILLYA:
Well, it had to look authentic.
Open Channel B.
[RADIO BEEPING]
- Williams here.
- Just checking.
It's little damp and dreary, but you know
how dungeons are these days.
That was a quite an act you put on
in the yard.
You look very frightened.
It wasn't any act.
We have electronic alarms hidden
in every entrance to the dungeon.
We'll be alerted the minute
anyone enters the area.
Yeah, well, I wasn't planning
on getting much sleep tonight anyway.
Well, that's all for now.
Keep your communicator handy...
...and let us know
if you hear anyone approaching.
It, uh, just might be a double agent
coming to kill you.
It's nice to know that somebody cares.
[CLOCK CHIMING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
What's the matter?
You know better than to come here.
It never bothered you before.
And now's not the time.
They're watching every one of us.
Our romance is the best-kept secret
on the island.
You don't give Cutter enough credit.
Is it so important we graduate?
It's important that I graduate.
Sorry to have interrupted
your precious career, Mr. Saimes.
Hey.
Now, why don't we forget the arguments
till after the wedding?
If that's a definite proposal,
I'd like it in writing.
I'd even carve it in stone.
Later.
Come here,
I wanna show you something.
MELISSA:
What's all this?
SAIMES: A blueprint
for the entire island installation.
Don't tell me
that's part of your homework.
In a way.
I've been figuring out
how to become a hero.
I could use your help.
Anything you say, Johnny.
If ll can find out how Thrush got a man
on this island., their whole setup...
...well, Cutter wouldn't just graduate me,
he'd probably nominate me for president.
I like @ man with ambition.
But where's all this beautiful Thrush
information supposed to come from?
Harry Williams.
You're not serious.
He's under Class A security.
Listen, Melissa, if Cutter finds out about us,
that's all he'd need to wash me out.
Now, I've gotta make some bonus points
with or without your help.
All right, Johnny,
I'll help you any way I can.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised
if you were the double agent...
...trying to exploit me.
Now...
We gotta break Williams
out of the dungeon.
We'll tell him we're both
from Thrush too.
And we"ll convince him we've got a
submarine on the bay to help him escape.
- Who'd buy that story?
- A real Thrush agent in trouble.
But what if he isn't a real Thrush agent?
Well, then I think it's about time
we found that out for sure, don't you?
You're forgetting one small detail,
darling.
The dungeon
has an elaborate alarm system.
So it does.
[CLOCK CHIMING]
[STATIC BUZZING OVER RADIO]
You've got 15 minutes left,
and I take over the investigation my way.
- I need more time.
CUTTER: You've had 12 hours.
Harry Williams almost got himself killed
setting this trap.
It needs time to make it work.
A bargain, that's what you called it.
Now, I've kept up my end, you keep yours.
This is Cutter.
I want all the trainees assembled
in the briefing room at exactly 10 p.m.
This is still my school,
and still my responsibility.
SAIMES:
Melissa, the blueprint.
HAGUE:
Melissa?
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
What are you doing out here?
- Just getting some air.
- Oh.
Uh, Cutter wants us
in the briefing room at 10:00.
MELISSA:
I'll be there.
- Sounds important. Don't be late.
- I won't. Thanks.
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
MELISSA:
Okay, he's gone.
[CLATTERING]
[FOOTSTEPS]
Open Channel B.
[RADIO BEEPING]
- Kuryakin here.
- I've got company.
What?
The alarm system isn't working.
I'm on my way.
[FOOTSTEPS]
SENTRY:
Halt.
Illya Kuryakin, Section Two.
Come with me, I need help.
You're wanted in the briefing room,
Mr. Kuryakin.
ILLYA:
I've no time to stand here and argue.
My orders are nobody goes anywhere
except the briefing room.
Somebody is breaking into the dungeon.
- No alarm has sounded.
- The alarms aren't working.
That will have to be verified
in the control room.
Well, your rifle's filthy.
[SENTRY GRUNTS]
Harry? Harry?
[HAGUE CHUCKLES]
You're in trouble, Mr. Kuryakin.
Attacking that, uh, sentry outside.
Now helping a prisoner escape.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
ILLYA:
Excuse me.
[ILLYA GRUNTS]
If you're from Thrush,
why the gun in my back?
MELISSA:
Does that help?
HARRY:
I can feel the difference already.
MELISSA:
Johnny.
Glad we could help you out of the pit,
Williams.
- He's from Thrush.
- It's good to be with friends.
Is it?
Over there.
Move.
That's far enough.
MELISSA:
Johnny, what are you doing?
SAIMES:
Start digging.
Johnny, I don't understand.
You will, Melissa, you will.
[ILLYA SPITS]
[ILLYA COUGHS AND GASPS]
All right, Kuryakin, come on, let's go.
You've had your little nap.
Come on.
[ILLYA GRUNTS
AND HAGUE CHUCKLES]
Come on.
[HAGUE GRUNTS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SENTRY GRUNTS]
HARRY:
That solves one mystery, doesn't it?
The others will be solved
in due course, Williams.
Johnny, will you please explain
what that book's doing here?
It's very simple, Miss Hargrove.
Your friend stole the code book
and buried it.
Williams almost found it this morning.
I had to dig it up and bury it again.
But you were attacked,
knocked unconscious.
SAIMES: Basic rule seven,
Deception and Cover course.
All part of the game, Melissa.
I win, you lose.
- The game includes graduation, Saimes.
- You're wrong, Williams.
Just like you were wrong
to think a real Thrush agent...
...would buy you as a comrade.
All right, what's the next step?
SAIMES:
ll intend to graduate with honors.
As you say, very simple.
I discovered the real Thrush agent
helping you escape.
I tried to stop her
like any good U.N.C.L.E. trainee should.
But she fought me.
And naturally, I had to kill her.
You were already dead.
[HARRY GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[RADIO BEEPING]
HARRY [OVER RADIO]:
Iilya?
Harry, where are you?
Sentry Post 5. Listen, Saimes is our boy.
I'm pinned down, so is Agent Hargrove.
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
Just a minute.
Williams, Melissa Hargrove,
they're in the rocks.
She helped him escape.
They're armed, shoot to kill.
Illya, you better get here fast.
Saimes just got himself
some reinforcements.
We're over here.
Both of us.
Hold it. She's giving herself up.
- Who's doing all the shooting?
- Everybody, and Harry Williams, the target.
The alarm systems aren't working.
You better get on the PA system and tell
them they're shooting at the wrong man.
[PANTING]
CUTTER [OVER SPEAKER]:
Attention, all UN.C.L.E. personnel.
This is Cutter speaking.
Harry Williams is not, repeat,
not an enemy of this organization.
He is not to be harmed
under any circumstances.
Repeat, Harry Williams is not an enemy.
He is not to be harmed.
He is not to be harmed.
[PANTING]
Duck, Harry!
You haven't a chance, Saimes.
Try and stop me.
Cutter's survival school
gets tougher every year.
So does surviving.
CUTTER:
One moment, gentlemen. One moment.
The trainees expected the brass
to stay for the graduation.
ILLYA: Mr. Waverly is sending a helicopter,
as I have to go back to headquarters...
...and Harry has an assignment in Bolivia.
Oh, well, in that case, goodbye
and good luck.
[GRUNTING]
Four and three-tenths seconds.
Well, that's an improvement, Kuryakin.
However, you should've done it in four.
I'm sure Mr. Solo could have.
ILLYA:
I'm sure he could.
Though Mr. Solo has better things to do
than play games.
It's been a pleasure.
MELISSA:
Mind it I hitch a ride?
HARRY:
Be delighted. What about graduation?
HAGUE:
We've resigned.
I decided I'm not cut out
to be a team man.
And I think I'd rather be a woman
than an agent.
Too dangerous?
Being @ woman? Very dangerous.
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
[ENGLISH SDH]