The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1964–1968): Season 3, Episode 13 - The Abominable Snowman Affair - full transcript
Solo and Kuryakin investigate a plot in Ghupat, a nation in the Himalayas.
[GONG BANGING]
Your Serenity, they are here.
And the man from U.N.C.L.E.
has not yet arrived.
Very well. They can wait a few minutes.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
[PIGEON COOING]
This is as far as I go.
I must leave you now.
Entry to the state of Ghupat
is forbidden to all foreigners.
Well, thank you for bringing me
this far, Kunsing.
- You will be careful?
- I'll take every precaution.
Bye.
LAMA:
Ganesh.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]
The time has come.
We must say goodbye.
[GUNSHOT]
[GRUNTING]
Yahoo! I got the emery critter.
You go on. Go get some help there,
and go fetch him.
- You sent for me, sir?
WAVERLY: Yes, Mr. Solo.
I'm a bit concerned.
Have you heard from Mr. Kuryakin
during the last hour or two?
No, should I have?
I was talking to him this morning...
...and for some unaccountable reason
we were cut off.
I haven't been able
to re-establish contact.
Well, perhaps I shouldn't ask, sir...
...but what is IIIya doing
in the Himalayas, anyway?
Well, it all has to do with the succession.
I had a message
from the high lama of Ghupat.
He's a very old man.
He's worried about his succession.
That's not U.N.C.L.E.'s department, is it?
Not normally, no.
But the lama is a dear personal friend
of mine.
I met him years ago in India,
during my tiger-hunting days.
Oh, yes, uh, I used to hunt the big cat.
You must remind me to tell you...
-...all about that sometime.
- I shall.
[ALARM BLARING]
[CHATTERING]
WAVERLY:
All right, don't worry.
It's only a pigeon, not Thrush.
Hmm. Speaking of the high Iama...
From him?
“Why haven't I heard from you?
My time has come.
The succession must be carried out
as ordained.“
Mr. Solo, you'll leave
for Ghupat immediately.
To find Mr. Kuryakin
and to observe the succession ceremonies.
MAN:
0 sun of heaven...
...Your Serenity,
the high lama of Ghupat.
My humblest obeisances to you.
[LAMA SPEAKING IN TIBETAN]
You Serenity.
have you reached a decision?
I have, my son.
The answer is still no.
You leave me no other choice.
Tashi, I remember you as a boy.
Your soul was seeking.
You worked hard.
You earned the rank of prime minister.
Why do you wanna stain your soul
with such ugliness?
Your Serenity.
It is I who ask the questions.
Now, for the last time.
Yes or no?
No.
SERVANT:
No!
[GRUNTING]
Still, your soul is very dear to me.
I myself will discard this human body.
You mean you will die
of your own volition?
It is the law of nature that man can choose
neither his birth nor his death in this world.
But the high lama of Ghupat
is no ordinary man.
[CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
[WIND WHISTLES]
[GRUNTS]
PRIME MINISTER:
He is dead.
[SERVANT GRUNTING]
Kill him.
[SERVANT SCREAMS]
Where am I?
[METAL CLINKING AND FOOTSTEPS]
Now, don't you go straining yourself.
You've been unconscious for two days.
Now, close your eyes...
...hold your nose and chugalug.
Chugalug?
What was that?
Yak-liver oil. Good for what ails you.
Been using it for years.
Now, who are you, hmm?
My name is IIIya Kuryakin.
Who are you?
Don't you recognize me?
ILLYA:
The face is familiar but, uh...
I'm Calamity Rogers.
Fastest gun in the West.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Oh, yes, of course.
Probably seen a lot
of old my movies, huh?
ILLYA: I have?
- On the late, late show.
Ah, that's where all the good movies
go today.
ILLYA [WHISPERS]:
Yeah.
CALAMITY: Guess you're not
strong enough to get around.
ILLYA:
I should be very soon.
Then we better tie you up, so you can't.
[ILLYA GRUNTING]
GUARD:
Did you not read the signs?
Do you not know that entry to Ghupat
is forbidden to all foreigns?
SOLO:
Eh,uh...
Only with special permission
can a foreigner come here.
I do have special permission,
in a manner of speaking.
I have a letter of introduction
to His Serenity, the high lama.
The son of heaven, His Serenity.
the high lama is no longer with us.
- He is dead.
- Oh. I'm sorry.
PRIME MINISTER: This man who
signed this letter, Alexander Waverly?
Oh, he's the fellow I work for.
I write for a travel magazine.
PRIME MINISTER: So you've come hereto
do an article on the abominable snowman?
Yes, I understand that there's one
in the neighborhood somewhere.
There are many other interesting things
in this country to write about, Mr. Solo.
Things your readers might find
even more fascinating.
Well, the thought, uh.
just crossed my mind...
...now that the high lama
has, uh, departed...
...there might be the possibility of doing
a piece on the choosing of his successor.
Well, I am afraid that no outsiders
are permitted to this sacred ceremony.
However, because you've come here
with such excellent credentials...
...I shall take the matter up
with my advisers.
Thank you, I'd be very grateful.
Sir, you must be very tired
after your long journey.
Perhaps you would care to rest.
Mr. Solo.
Welcome to Ghupat.
SOLO: Well, uh, thank you
very much, Your Excellency.
PRIME MINISTER:
Amra Palli.
You will dive deep.
Dive deep into the depths of mind.
You will read this and tell me,
who is the man who wrote this letter...
...and who is the man
to whom this letter was given?
Alexander Waverly
is the head of an organization...
...called United Network Command
for Law and Enforcement.
U.N.C.L.E.
At the request of the late high lama,
he sent Napoleon Solo...
...to oversee the succession
of the new lama.
Yes, very good, very good. Excellent.
We must eliminate Mr. Solo.
PRIME MINISTER: Who can better attest
to the authenticity of the new high lama...
...than the man from U.N.C.L.E.?
Amra Palli, you shall be
Mr. Solo's constant companion.
You will feed him. You will watch him.
You will learn all his thoughts.
And all that you learn,
you shall report to me.
[SOLO SIGHING]
SOLO:
Hello.
AMRA:
I'm Amra Pal”. I am to be your servant.
SOLO: Well, I must say.
you're a little more attractive...
...than most of the servants
I've seen around here.
AMRA:
Is there anything else you wish?
No, everything I wish appears
to be right before my eyes in this room.
Curious. I've used that line before,
and it's evoked some reaction.
- Don't you even blink?
- No.
Well, if I told you a funny story,
would you laugh?
- I do not laugh.
SOLO: Mm-hm.
- Do you cry?
- Never.
Uh, is there anything
that makes you happy?
Happiness is a contrived
and temporary state of mortal mind.
Well, I can't disagree there.
Uh...
Do you feel anything?
Feeling? What is it?
[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]
Well, it's hard to explain.
I'll try and give an example. Um...
I'm looking at you,
and you're looking at me.
And you feel an attraction.
Some magnetism?
Some waves?
Nothing? Mm-hm.
[WHISPERING]
Interesting. Must be slipping.
[GRUNTS]
Uh, if I were to kiss you,
would you feel anything?
Kiss? What is it?
Well, I'll show you. Uh, close your eyes.
AMRA:
I cannot.
SOLO:
You can't?
Okay.
Um, lean forward.
Hmm?
- So?
- Well, that's it.
Oh, the anatomical juxtaposition
of two oris muscles...
...in the state of contraction.
Yeah, well, that's another way
of putting it. Hmm.
CALAMITY:
My husband, Chang Li.
He was the minister of external affairs
in Ghupat.
Yeah, I met him
when he visited Hollywood.
We got hitched
and came back here to live.
And he was murdered
by an abominable snowman.
Well, it must've been a different snowman,
because this is my first visit to Ghupaf.
Listen, have you ever heard
of an organization called U.N.C.L.E.?
- U.N.C.L.E.? U.N.C.L.E.?
- Yes.
It's a kind of international sheriff's posse
that goes and hunts down the bad guys.
- You one of them?
- Yeah.
And if you give me my communicator,
I'll prove it.
I have a rather important
message to send.
What's a communicator?
I must have dropped it
when I fell down the cliff.
- If you'll let me go back to the slope--
- Uh-uh. Bajo.
Untie him.
I'll send somebody up to look
for that, uh, communicator.
I want you to stay here now
to get your strength back.
I got a hunch we're looking
for the same bad guys.
You had a dream last night.
I did?
You were worried
about the abominable snowman.
A man with the golden hair.
IIIya Kuryakin.
- How did you know that?
- The thought of it is still in your mind.
It is in my power to read your mind.
- Well, do you know where he is?
AMRA: I can find out.
- How?
- Do you have a luck of his hair?
No, no, I've never been a member
of IIIya's fan club.
Do you have a sample
of his handwriting, a letter?
Mm-mm, no.
01 his birth date and his zodiac?
Possibly, I could find that out.
This is a non-spiritual, non-astrological,
non-telepathic communicator.
Open Channel D.
[RADIO BEEPING]
Yes, Mr. Solo.
Have you heard anything further
about the succession?
Uh, no, nothing about that.
- However, concerning "Iva--
- Have you found him?
Well, I think I could find him if you could
give me his birth date and zodiacal sign.
Ah, yes, of course.
Yes, I should have realized that.
Well, uh, let me look up his file further
and call you back.
Back home,
we call them fortune cookies.
You break them open,
you find out something about yourself...
...or what's going to happen
in the future.
- Really?
SOLO: Hmm.
PRIME MINISTER:
Very interesting.
It was the vision of late high lama
that this sacred vessel contained the Obo...
...the prayer mound with the inscription
pertaining to his reincarnation.
I, uh, understand the new high lama
is first to be seen astride a royal elephant.
Yes. Unfortunately, the royal elephant
has fled into the jungle.
I sent two of my best warriors to find him,
but the man-eating tiger...
The position of the heavenly bodies.
The sun is semi-sextile to Venus.
Venus is semi-quantile to Mars.
Mars is bi-quantile to Saturn.
The place is northeast Ghupat.
Beside a waterfall known as Jaylaxmi,
there are the ruins of an ancient temple.
Within the shrine mum...
...there presently sits
a small orphan boy named Jami.
He is guarded by a shepherd
named Vithu...
...who is fated to breathe his last
at this very moment.
It is written in the stars that Jami
is the new high lama of Ghupat.
Tomorrow, when the moon
is in bi-quantile to the sun...
...and the sun is in the radix of Saturn,
we shall test Jami.
Hail, hail, all hail the new high lama.
[ALL CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
PRIME MINISTER:
Why was he not killed?
AIDE:
Well, we looked at him and I thought...
...suppose the boy really
is the reincarnation...
...then I might return in my next life
as a cockroach.
I did not think you believed
that childish superstition.
Very well. I shall do the work myself.
Wail. Why no! ask Amta Pam?
She has no emotions.
PRIME MINISTER:
Yes, yes.
Bring Amra Palli.
Amra Palli, a task for you.
You will take this boy, and remove him
to the northeast into the jungle...
...and leave him there to be devoured
by the man-eating tiger.
I hear and obey.
Your name is Jami.
Honorable father, my name is Baku.
I know that your name is Baku.
But from this moment on,
your name is Jami.
I am ordering you.
Your name is Jami.
I don't want to be Jami.
I wanna remain Baku.
PRIME MINISTER:
Very well.
You shall go see your mother.
Perhaps she can change your mind.
Bring her down.
Woman, you have borne me
a very stubborn son.
Do you think of yourself
as an honorable father?
He does not hear my name,
still my blood flows in his veins.
I pray that your evil spirit
does not also run in his veins.
Do you not realize, ignorant woman,
that he will be the new lama of Ghupat?
The god-king with wealth
and power and luxury...
...millions of followers at his feet.
The high lama is the choice
of the heavenly bodies.
So far, they have chosen my son
to be an ordinary boy...
...to play the flute, to sing sacred hymns.
And when he grows, if they so please,
he will become a healer or a judge.
And an honest one.
PRIME MINISTER:
If you do not agree...
...we shall tum you into
a creature like Amra Palli.
And after that, even if you do see your son,
you will barely recognize him.
And if you touch him,
you will not feel anything.
No, no.
Honorable father,
I will not let you do that.
My name is Jami.
[MOTHER SOBS]
PRIME MINISTER:
Mr. Solo...
...may I have the pleasure
of your company, please?
We are leaving for the temple
by the waterfall.
The time of the testing
of the new high lama is now.
Is that Vithu?
PRIME MINISTER:
Apparently so.
I guess the prophecy was right.
Remove the body.
Cremate it in scared sandalwood.
PRIME MINISTER: I light the first stick
of incense to guide our way.
Who are you?
- What is your name?
- Jami.
PRIME MINISTER:
Oh, hear the sound of our souls.
Upon this tray are some
of the treasured possessions...
...of the late and beloved high lama.
Mixed among these are objects of no value,
possessions of mere mortal men.
O wanderer through three worlds...
...if you are indeed the true reincarnation
of the son of heaven...
...ruler of the universe,
His Serenity, the high lama...
...guide us by choosing
only those objects...
...belonging to your past life.
[MONKS CHANTING]
All hail, His Serenity.
the new high lama.
[PRIME MINISTER
CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
My compliments to the chef.
I have never tasted a better yak stew.
Tomorrow night, we're gonna have chili.
ILLYA: East is East and West is West,
and I suppose the twain shall meet--
[CALAMITY SIGHS]
What is it?
CALAMITY: I've been invited
to the coronation of the new high lama.
Then it's done.
CALAMITY:
What?
I'm afraid I've muffed my assignment.
I was sent here to observe the selection
of the new high lama...
...to make sure
that there was not any fraud.
There was fraud.
ILLYA: Oh?
- This boy.
That's not the real high lama.
ILLYA:
Are you sure?
I don't know why, but my husband
was killed because of him.
How do you know?
I found a snapshot of this boy
taken with the prime minister.
My husband took it away.
He said the least I knew,
the better 0” I'd be.
The snapshot, do you know where it is?
Mm-mm.
Your husband, did he say anything
before he died about, uh, any of this?
He did mention something
about the saloon.
The saloon?
What saloon?
Here it is.
All this.
It was a birthday gift to me
from Chang Li, my husband.
He's very thoughtful.
No girl should be without one.
This is from
The Cowboy and the Single Girl.
Ah, that's the picture
that made me a star.
Yes, I think that's where I saw you
on the late, late show.
The guns, are they real?
You bet your boots.
Chang Li had the finest gun collection
in all of Ghupat.
It's very impressive.
His favorite was that Winchester '73.
Custom-made.
[GUN COCKS]
Isn't it a beauty?
It's from the high lama.
Something is rotten
in the state of Ghupat.
[GROWLING]
You be a good boy.
I have to leave you.
Now, don't be afraid.
.
[TIGERS GROWLING]
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]
Yes, Mr. Solo. Mr. Kuryakin is a Scorpio.
He was born in the year 6532...
...the year of the water buffalo
in the month of the iron dog...
...at 6:30 p.m., Ghupat time.
WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]:
Incidentally, I looked up your file.
I see you're a Capricorn.
That is correct, sir.
WAVERLY: Your forecast for the day
indicates possible danger...
...in the early part of the afternoon.
It also indicates the possibility
of a romantic involvement.
In Ghupat?
Well, it doesn't suggest any particular
place, but you appear to be in Ghupat.
Thank you, sir.
I'll, uh, be on the alert. Ahem.
[GUN COCKS]
He should be coming back most
any minute now with your communicator.
[GUN COCKS]
Heh, how's that for timing?
Is that what you've been looking for?
That teeny little old thing?
Open Channel D, overseas relay.
Section One, Number One, please.
Ah, Mr. Kuryakin. We lost you.
Oh, I had a minor accident, sir.
Right now.
I'm in Calamity Rogers' saloon.
WAVERLY:
Calamity Rogers?
You mean the girl with the fastest"?
Gun in the West. Yes, sir.
We have uncovered some evidence that
proves that the new high lama is a take.
You'd better hold off for the time being.
I'll take a chartered plane
to Ghupat at once.
- Are you bringing Napoleon with you?
WAVERLY: Mr. Sale is already there.
When I last spoke to him,
he was at the palace.
Since then, I've lost contact with him.
When is the coronation ceremony?
Tomorrow afternoon.
Hello there, Mr. Waverly.
Oh, thank you, Miss Rogers.
Uh, Mr. Kuryakin, will you please meet me
at the palace monastery tomorrow morning?
Oh, and, Miss Rogers,
ever since I saw you...
...in The Cowboy and the Single Girl,
I have been ardent admirer of yours.
I'm looking forward to meeting you too,
Mr. Waverly.
Why, he sounds like a mighty nice man.
He's all right.
[FOOTSTEPS]
SOLO:
Are those pearls or tears?
Sit down.
You can smile too. What happened?
Oh, I don't know.
It just happened.
I feel changed.
SOLO:
Funny.
I wonder if that change relates in any way
to my astrological forecast for today.
I wanna concentrate
on IIIya's Scorpio now.
Now, he was in born
in the year six thousand--
I can't seem to concentrate.
Why not?
I think I've lost my power.
Well, how did that happen?
I don't know.
Everything is so vague.
I remember a little boy.
A little boy in the jungle, the wild jungle.
Yes, the tiger.
There was a tiger. It was so frightening.
The master asked me. Yes, the master.
SOLO:
Who is your master?
AMRA:
The prime minister.
He asked me to take this little boy
into the jungle.
An adorable boy, with a precious smile.
A divine boy.
I'm sorry I cannot tell you
any more about Mr. Kuryakin.
Is he a friend?
Yes, he's a very good friend.
He came to Ghupat
as the abominable snowman, why?
SOLO:
To prevent the very thing that happened.
[SOBBING]
I have killed the new high lama,
haven't I?
Haven't I?
SOLO:
You didn't know what you're doing.
We can't bring the boy back,
but we can make sure the imposter never--
PRIME MINISTER:
Oh, can you, Mr. Solo?
Alas, I think not.
Now, will you be good enough
to put your hands above your head...
...and walk this way, please?
Excellency, Mr. Solo's friend,
Mr. Kuryakin...
I've heard through villagers...
...that Calamity Rogers
has shot an abominable snowman.
PRIME MINISTER:
Mm-hm.
Here, throw this up in the air.
I think we'd better reload first.
[GRUNTING]
AMRA:
It will be a fate that I have earned.
[AMRA SIGHS]
For I have led the rightful high lama
to his death.
Now, there's no reason
to blame yourself.
We may still get out of this.
Your friend? Mr. Kuryakin?
Yes, if he's not hurt too badly,
he may be able to help us.
But they know where he is.
- They must have gone to find him.
- IIIya is very resourceful.
[DOOR OPENS]
ILLYA:
Napoleon.
Sometimes.
We were just talking about you.
Amra Palli, this is IIIya Kuryakin...
...the fellow that was going
to get us out of this.
Well, I didn't know you were in it.
But then you do have a knack
for getting yourself--
Oh, by the way, this is Calamity Rogers,
Napoleon Solo. The--
BOTH:
The fastest gun in the West.
- Mighty nice to meet you.
- Nice 10--
[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]
PRIME MINISTER: Now that you've
all finished your little the formalities...
In a few moments,
this pendulum will start to swing...
...and when it hits the gong,
the noise will be deafening.
The reverberations we have discovered
can drive a man into insanity...
...in a very few hours.
Uh, the ladies, uh...
They provide, as you say in the West,
bargaining power.
I see.
PRIME MINISTER: To spare Miss Rogers
and Amra Palli from this ordeal...
...you need only accede
to a very simple request.
Inform U.N.C.L.E headquarters...
...that the new high lama
is indeed the rightful one.
By the way, do not rely too much
on the help of your Mr. Waverly.
My men overheard the conversation
between him and Mr. Kuryakin.
We know that he's coming to Ghupat.
We shall arrange
an appropriate little accident for him too.
[GONG BANGS]
There, there. Right there.
In that clearing, see?
Instead of a rare antelope,
I trapped an elephant calf.
Oh, a delightful little fellow.
But I couldn't keep him though.
The high lama of Ghupat
wanted it for his reincarnation.
It was prophesied that the new lama...
...would appear before the people
on this beast.
So I handed over the elephant.
Ever since then, the high lama
and I have been on the very--
[GUNSHOT]
[GONG BANGING]
SOLO:
IIIya.
I'm gonna have him call it off.
I don't think the girls
can take it much longer.
I'd rather die than give in to him.
Do not concern yourself over me,
Mr. Solo.
In the East, we have learned...
...to endure all pain,
except that of the spirit.
Enough?
Enough?
SOLO:
Tell your boss we're enjoying the music.
If you will forgive me, Your Excellency,
I do not think the prisoners will yield.
Not even to spare their women?
It the U.N.C.L.E. agents are driven insane,
or it they die, they are no use to us.
Mm-hm.
I do not often commit an error.
But I think my selection
of the Auric Gong Room was one.
Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin
must be permitted to think clearly.
They must be placed
in an atmosphere of peace and quiet...
...as a tomb is quiet.
- I understand.
- Yes, see to it. I shall join you directly.
Right now.
I must begin the coronation ceremonies.
[DRUMS BEATING]
[HORNS BLOWING]
Now the most auspicious moment
of the coronation nears.
It is a well-known fact,
that the new high lama...
...enters the coronation astride
the back of the royal elephant.
Unfortunately, the royal elephant,
Ganesh, the jewel of our land...
...has met an unfortunate accident
in the jungle.
He was killed by the man-eating tiger.
But the stars in their wisdom have decreed
that this tiger shall die in turn...
...and the new high lama
shall enter the coronation...
...seated on the skin of the very beast
that destroyed our Ganesh.
[MONKS CHANTING]
- Your Serenity.
BAKU: Excellency.
Let the ceremony begin.
[HORNS BLOWING]
You're quite good at that.
Do you have a union card?
Hmm. No sense of humor.
[HANDS CLAP]
PRIME MINISTER:
Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin.
I thought the coronation had begun.
At this very moment, there is a ritual dance
for driving away the evil spirits.
So that's what brings you here.
Mr. Solo, today
is the most important day in my life...
...therefore, I will forgive your insolence.
You're the one who killed my husband.
You see, the late high lama
had visions of my plan.
He asked Chang Li, your husband,
to supervise the succession.
Well, that left me
with absolutely no choice.
I had to kill Chang Li.
However, I still think of him very fondly.
I'm not quite clear about your, uh, plan.
The Jami that you saw
was in reality my son, Baku.
Not legally, of course.
Monks are not permitted to many...
...but nevertheless my son.
And in a very few moments,
he shall be the new high lama of Ghupat...
...with millions of followers at his feet.
And you and Mr. Kuryakin
will vouch for his authenticity.
- Oh, we've been through all that before.
- Yes.
But now I ask you for the very last time.
Very shortly, this highly skilled artisan
will have completed his task.
Now.
after you are completely entombed...
...you shall have air enough to survive
for 15 minutes.
I shall leave the mason here
after he has completed his work.
If you decide to accede to my demands...
...before this mortar hardens, just knock.
[PRIME MINISTER LAUGHING]
[BAND PLAYING CEREMONIAL MUSIC]
Which one of us has the plan?
Well, I've got a detonate!
on the back of my tie pin.
That'll take care of the chain.
Except for one thing.
ILLYA: We have nothing to detonate.
SOLO: Mm-hm.
ILLYA:
Or have we?
Uh, excuse me. Miss Rogers, but you seem
to be wearing a good deal of jewelry.
Nice, huh?
Most of it's the real McCoy but...
Well, but that bracelet there,
I won that in a shooting contest.
I don't know what that is.
Magnesium?
A lot of imitation jewelry is made of it.
Uh, if you'll bite the back
of my tie pin 0”.
I don't understand.
Magnesium is very explosive.
That's it.
Now, then we fix this here.
Like that. Tum your head away.
Ow.
SOLO:
Got it?
ILLYA: Now it we all put our shoulders
to the wall, the cement's still wet.
- Are you ready?
SOLO: Lock arms.
- All right.
ILLYA: One-- On three.
SOLO 8. ILLYA:
Two, three!
As is ordained, the time is now.
Upon the head of our boy named Jami,
we shall put this jeweled hat.
And from that moment on,
you will no longer be the child Jami...
...but the high lama of Ghupat.
And humble obeisances...
Seize them. Seize them!
[GRUNTING]
At the conclusion of this sacred rite,
there will be yet another ceremony.
These four people--
Three evil foreigners and one native traitor.
--They have conspired to keep Jami,
the true reincarnation of the late lama...
...from his rightful throne.
Because of this, they shall be executed.
MAN:
Ganesh!
[CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
It's Ganesh. The royal elephant.
And the true high lama.
Shoot the boy. Shoot the boy.
I can't. It's a sign from heaven.
Hail the high lama.
PRIME MINISTER:
No, no! Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
Jami. Jami, forgive me, I beg of you.
Oh, Your Serenity, I was wrong.
Forgive me, forgive me.
BAKU:
Hail, hail the high lama.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
Well-played, gentlemen. Congratulations.
Corking good work.
AMRA: It was not until then that I realized
I was a woman, Mr. Kuryakin.
Well, you are indeed.
But please, call me IIIya.
Amra Palli, would you like to join me
for a little sunset stroll?
Uh, well, uh, Mr. Solo, you see...
...my Jupiter is in descending aspects
with rising high moon.
But Mr. Kuryakin-- Heh.
I mean, uh, IIIya, uh...
I, uh, ahem, understand.
Happily, I was able to bring
the plane down in the clearing.
SOLO: Hmm.
- When who should I see but Ganesh.
Ganesh.
An elephant never forgets.
You know, that's just like the ending
of The Cowboy and the Single Girl.
Except, of course,
instead of the elephants, we had horses.
SOLO: Miss, uh--
WAVERLY: Let me show you the sunset.
It's perfectly staggering from here.
.
[ENGLISH SDH]
Your Serenity, they are here.
And the man from U.N.C.L.E.
has not yet arrived.
Very well. They can wait a few minutes.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
[PIGEON COOING]
This is as far as I go.
I must leave you now.
Entry to the state of Ghupat
is forbidden to all foreigners.
Well, thank you for bringing me
this far, Kunsing.
- You will be careful?
- I'll take every precaution.
Bye.
LAMA:
Ganesh.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]
The time has come.
We must say goodbye.
[GUNSHOT]
[GRUNTING]
Yahoo! I got the emery critter.
You go on. Go get some help there,
and go fetch him.
- You sent for me, sir?
WAVERLY: Yes, Mr. Solo.
I'm a bit concerned.
Have you heard from Mr. Kuryakin
during the last hour or two?
No, should I have?
I was talking to him this morning...
...and for some unaccountable reason
we were cut off.
I haven't been able
to re-establish contact.
Well, perhaps I shouldn't ask, sir...
...but what is IIIya doing
in the Himalayas, anyway?
Well, it all has to do with the succession.
I had a message
from the high lama of Ghupat.
He's a very old man.
He's worried about his succession.
That's not U.N.C.L.E.'s department, is it?
Not normally, no.
But the lama is a dear personal friend
of mine.
I met him years ago in India,
during my tiger-hunting days.
Oh, yes, uh, I used to hunt the big cat.
You must remind me to tell you...
-...all about that sometime.
- I shall.
[ALARM BLARING]
[CHATTERING]
WAVERLY:
All right, don't worry.
It's only a pigeon, not Thrush.
Hmm. Speaking of the high Iama...
From him?
“Why haven't I heard from you?
My time has come.
The succession must be carried out
as ordained.“
Mr. Solo, you'll leave
for Ghupat immediately.
To find Mr. Kuryakin
and to observe the succession ceremonies.
MAN:
0 sun of heaven...
...Your Serenity,
the high lama of Ghupat.
My humblest obeisances to you.
[LAMA SPEAKING IN TIBETAN]
You Serenity.
have you reached a decision?
I have, my son.
The answer is still no.
You leave me no other choice.
Tashi, I remember you as a boy.
Your soul was seeking.
You worked hard.
You earned the rank of prime minister.
Why do you wanna stain your soul
with such ugliness?
Your Serenity.
It is I who ask the questions.
Now, for the last time.
Yes or no?
No.
SERVANT:
No!
[GRUNTING]
Still, your soul is very dear to me.
I myself will discard this human body.
You mean you will die
of your own volition?
It is the law of nature that man can choose
neither his birth nor his death in this world.
But the high lama of Ghupat
is no ordinary man.
[CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
[WIND WHISTLES]
[GRUNTS]
PRIME MINISTER:
He is dead.
[SERVANT GRUNTING]
Kill him.
[SERVANT SCREAMS]
Where am I?
[METAL CLINKING AND FOOTSTEPS]
Now, don't you go straining yourself.
You've been unconscious for two days.
Now, close your eyes...
...hold your nose and chugalug.
Chugalug?
What was that?
Yak-liver oil. Good for what ails you.
Been using it for years.
Now, who are you, hmm?
My name is IIIya Kuryakin.
Who are you?
Don't you recognize me?
ILLYA:
The face is familiar but, uh...
I'm Calamity Rogers.
Fastest gun in the West.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Oh, yes, of course.
Probably seen a lot
of old my movies, huh?
ILLYA: I have?
- On the late, late show.
Ah, that's where all the good movies
go today.
ILLYA [WHISPERS]:
Yeah.
CALAMITY: Guess you're not
strong enough to get around.
ILLYA:
I should be very soon.
Then we better tie you up, so you can't.
[ILLYA GRUNTING]
GUARD:
Did you not read the signs?
Do you not know that entry to Ghupat
is forbidden to all foreigns?
SOLO:
Eh,uh...
Only with special permission
can a foreigner come here.
I do have special permission,
in a manner of speaking.
I have a letter of introduction
to His Serenity, the high lama.
The son of heaven, His Serenity.
the high lama is no longer with us.
- He is dead.
- Oh. I'm sorry.
PRIME MINISTER: This man who
signed this letter, Alexander Waverly?
Oh, he's the fellow I work for.
I write for a travel magazine.
PRIME MINISTER: So you've come hereto
do an article on the abominable snowman?
Yes, I understand that there's one
in the neighborhood somewhere.
There are many other interesting things
in this country to write about, Mr. Solo.
Things your readers might find
even more fascinating.
Well, the thought, uh.
just crossed my mind...
...now that the high lama
has, uh, departed...
...there might be the possibility of doing
a piece on the choosing of his successor.
Well, I am afraid that no outsiders
are permitted to this sacred ceremony.
However, because you've come here
with such excellent credentials...
...I shall take the matter up
with my advisers.
Thank you, I'd be very grateful.
Sir, you must be very tired
after your long journey.
Perhaps you would care to rest.
Mr. Solo.
Welcome to Ghupat.
SOLO: Well, uh, thank you
very much, Your Excellency.
PRIME MINISTER:
Amra Palli.
You will dive deep.
Dive deep into the depths of mind.
You will read this and tell me,
who is the man who wrote this letter...
...and who is the man
to whom this letter was given?
Alexander Waverly
is the head of an organization...
...called United Network Command
for Law and Enforcement.
U.N.C.L.E.
At the request of the late high lama,
he sent Napoleon Solo...
...to oversee the succession
of the new lama.
Yes, very good, very good. Excellent.
We must eliminate Mr. Solo.
PRIME MINISTER: Who can better attest
to the authenticity of the new high lama...
...than the man from U.N.C.L.E.?
Amra Palli, you shall be
Mr. Solo's constant companion.
You will feed him. You will watch him.
You will learn all his thoughts.
And all that you learn,
you shall report to me.
[SOLO SIGHING]
SOLO:
Hello.
AMRA:
I'm Amra Pal”. I am to be your servant.
SOLO: Well, I must say.
you're a little more attractive...
...than most of the servants
I've seen around here.
AMRA:
Is there anything else you wish?
No, everything I wish appears
to be right before my eyes in this room.
Curious. I've used that line before,
and it's evoked some reaction.
- Don't you even blink?
- No.
Well, if I told you a funny story,
would you laugh?
- I do not laugh.
SOLO: Mm-hm.
- Do you cry?
- Never.
Uh, is there anything
that makes you happy?
Happiness is a contrived
and temporary state of mortal mind.
Well, I can't disagree there.
Uh...
Do you feel anything?
Feeling? What is it?
[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]
Well, it's hard to explain.
I'll try and give an example. Um...
I'm looking at you,
and you're looking at me.
And you feel an attraction.
Some magnetism?
Some waves?
Nothing? Mm-hm.
[WHISPERING]
Interesting. Must be slipping.
[GRUNTS]
Uh, if I were to kiss you,
would you feel anything?
Kiss? What is it?
Well, I'll show you. Uh, close your eyes.
AMRA:
I cannot.
SOLO:
You can't?
Okay.
Um, lean forward.
Hmm?
- So?
- Well, that's it.
Oh, the anatomical juxtaposition
of two oris muscles...
...in the state of contraction.
Yeah, well, that's another way
of putting it. Hmm.
CALAMITY:
My husband, Chang Li.
He was the minister of external affairs
in Ghupat.
Yeah, I met him
when he visited Hollywood.
We got hitched
and came back here to live.
And he was murdered
by an abominable snowman.
Well, it must've been a different snowman,
because this is my first visit to Ghupaf.
Listen, have you ever heard
of an organization called U.N.C.L.E.?
- U.N.C.L.E.? U.N.C.L.E.?
- Yes.
It's a kind of international sheriff's posse
that goes and hunts down the bad guys.
- You one of them?
- Yeah.
And if you give me my communicator,
I'll prove it.
I have a rather important
message to send.
What's a communicator?
I must have dropped it
when I fell down the cliff.
- If you'll let me go back to the slope--
- Uh-uh. Bajo.
Untie him.
I'll send somebody up to look
for that, uh, communicator.
I want you to stay here now
to get your strength back.
I got a hunch we're looking
for the same bad guys.
You had a dream last night.
I did?
You were worried
about the abominable snowman.
A man with the golden hair.
IIIya Kuryakin.
- How did you know that?
- The thought of it is still in your mind.
It is in my power to read your mind.
- Well, do you know where he is?
AMRA: I can find out.
- How?
- Do you have a luck of his hair?
No, no, I've never been a member
of IIIya's fan club.
Do you have a sample
of his handwriting, a letter?
Mm-mm, no.
01 his birth date and his zodiac?
Possibly, I could find that out.
This is a non-spiritual, non-astrological,
non-telepathic communicator.
Open Channel D.
[RADIO BEEPING]
Yes, Mr. Solo.
Have you heard anything further
about the succession?
Uh, no, nothing about that.
- However, concerning "Iva--
- Have you found him?
Well, I think I could find him if you could
give me his birth date and zodiacal sign.
Ah, yes, of course.
Yes, I should have realized that.
Well, uh, let me look up his file further
and call you back.
Back home,
we call them fortune cookies.
You break them open,
you find out something about yourself...
...or what's going to happen
in the future.
- Really?
SOLO: Hmm.
PRIME MINISTER:
Very interesting.
It was the vision of late high lama
that this sacred vessel contained the Obo...
...the prayer mound with the inscription
pertaining to his reincarnation.
I, uh, understand the new high lama
is first to be seen astride a royal elephant.
Yes. Unfortunately, the royal elephant
has fled into the jungle.
I sent two of my best warriors to find him,
but the man-eating tiger...
The position of the heavenly bodies.
The sun is semi-sextile to Venus.
Venus is semi-quantile to Mars.
Mars is bi-quantile to Saturn.
The place is northeast Ghupat.
Beside a waterfall known as Jaylaxmi,
there are the ruins of an ancient temple.
Within the shrine mum...
...there presently sits
a small orphan boy named Jami.
He is guarded by a shepherd
named Vithu...
...who is fated to breathe his last
at this very moment.
It is written in the stars that Jami
is the new high lama of Ghupat.
Tomorrow, when the moon
is in bi-quantile to the sun...
...and the sun is in the radix of Saturn,
we shall test Jami.
Hail, hail, all hail the new high lama.
[ALL CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
PRIME MINISTER:
Why was he not killed?
AIDE:
Well, we looked at him and I thought...
...suppose the boy really
is the reincarnation...
...then I might return in my next life
as a cockroach.
I did not think you believed
that childish superstition.
Very well. I shall do the work myself.
Wail. Why no! ask Amta Pam?
She has no emotions.
PRIME MINISTER:
Yes, yes.
Bring Amra Palli.
Amra Palli, a task for you.
You will take this boy, and remove him
to the northeast into the jungle...
...and leave him there to be devoured
by the man-eating tiger.
I hear and obey.
Your name is Jami.
Honorable father, my name is Baku.
I know that your name is Baku.
But from this moment on,
your name is Jami.
I am ordering you.
Your name is Jami.
I don't want to be Jami.
I wanna remain Baku.
PRIME MINISTER:
Very well.
You shall go see your mother.
Perhaps she can change your mind.
Bring her down.
Woman, you have borne me
a very stubborn son.
Do you think of yourself
as an honorable father?
He does not hear my name,
still my blood flows in his veins.
I pray that your evil spirit
does not also run in his veins.
Do you not realize, ignorant woman,
that he will be the new lama of Ghupat?
The god-king with wealth
and power and luxury...
...millions of followers at his feet.
The high lama is the choice
of the heavenly bodies.
So far, they have chosen my son
to be an ordinary boy...
...to play the flute, to sing sacred hymns.
And when he grows, if they so please,
he will become a healer or a judge.
And an honest one.
PRIME MINISTER:
If you do not agree...
...we shall tum you into
a creature like Amra Palli.
And after that, even if you do see your son,
you will barely recognize him.
And if you touch him,
you will not feel anything.
No, no.
Honorable father,
I will not let you do that.
My name is Jami.
[MOTHER SOBS]
PRIME MINISTER:
Mr. Solo...
...may I have the pleasure
of your company, please?
We are leaving for the temple
by the waterfall.
The time of the testing
of the new high lama is now.
Is that Vithu?
PRIME MINISTER:
Apparently so.
I guess the prophecy was right.
Remove the body.
Cremate it in scared sandalwood.
PRIME MINISTER: I light the first stick
of incense to guide our way.
Who are you?
- What is your name?
- Jami.
PRIME MINISTER:
Oh, hear the sound of our souls.
Upon this tray are some
of the treasured possessions...
...of the late and beloved high lama.
Mixed among these are objects of no value,
possessions of mere mortal men.
O wanderer through three worlds...
...if you are indeed the true reincarnation
of the son of heaven...
...ruler of the universe,
His Serenity, the high lama...
...guide us by choosing
only those objects...
...belonging to your past life.
[MONKS CHANTING]
All hail, His Serenity.
the new high lama.
[PRIME MINISTER
CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
My compliments to the chef.
I have never tasted a better yak stew.
Tomorrow night, we're gonna have chili.
ILLYA: East is East and West is West,
and I suppose the twain shall meet--
[CALAMITY SIGHS]
What is it?
CALAMITY: I've been invited
to the coronation of the new high lama.
Then it's done.
CALAMITY:
What?
I'm afraid I've muffed my assignment.
I was sent here to observe the selection
of the new high lama...
...to make sure
that there was not any fraud.
There was fraud.
ILLYA: Oh?
- This boy.
That's not the real high lama.
ILLYA:
Are you sure?
I don't know why, but my husband
was killed because of him.
How do you know?
I found a snapshot of this boy
taken with the prime minister.
My husband took it away.
He said the least I knew,
the better 0” I'd be.
The snapshot, do you know where it is?
Mm-mm.
Your husband, did he say anything
before he died about, uh, any of this?
He did mention something
about the saloon.
The saloon?
What saloon?
Here it is.
All this.
It was a birthday gift to me
from Chang Li, my husband.
He's very thoughtful.
No girl should be without one.
This is from
The Cowboy and the Single Girl.
Ah, that's the picture
that made me a star.
Yes, I think that's where I saw you
on the late, late show.
The guns, are they real?
You bet your boots.
Chang Li had the finest gun collection
in all of Ghupat.
It's very impressive.
His favorite was that Winchester '73.
Custom-made.
[GUN COCKS]
Isn't it a beauty?
It's from the high lama.
Something is rotten
in the state of Ghupat.
[GROWLING]
You be a good boy.
I have to leave you.
Now, don't be afraid.
.
[TIGERS GROWLING]
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]
Yes, Mr. Solo. Mr. Kuryakin is a Scorpio.
He was born in the year 6532...
...the year of the water buffalo
in the month of the iron dog...
...at 6:30 p.m., Ghupat time.
WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]:
Incidentally, I looked up your file.
I see you're a Capricorn.
That is correct, sir.
WAVERLY: Your forecast for the day
indicates possible danger...
...in the early part of the afternoon.
It also indicates the possibility
of a romantic involvement.
In Ghupat?
Well, it doesn't suggest any particular
place, but you appear to be in Ghupat.
Thank you, sir.
I'll, uh, be on the alert. Ahem.
[GUN COCKS]
He should be coming back most
any minute now with your communicator.
[GUN COCKS]
Heh, how's that for timing?
Is that what you've been looking for?
That teeny little old thing?
Open Channel D, overseas relay.
Section One, Number One, please.
Ah, Mr. Kuryakin. We lost you.
Oh, I had a minor accident, sir.
Right now.
I'm in Calamity Rogers' saloon.
WAVERLY:
Calamity Rogers?
You mean the girl with the fastest"?
Gun in the West. Yes, sir.
We have uncovered some evidence that
proves that the new high lama is a take.
You'd better hold off for the time being.
I'll take a chartered plane
to Ghupat at once.
- Are you bringing Napoleon with you?
WAVERLY: Mr. Sale is already there.
When I last spoke to him,
he was at the palace.
Since then, I've lost contact with him.
When is the coronation ceremony?
Tomorrow afternoon.
Hello there, Mr. Waverly.
Oh, thank you, Miss Rogers.
Uh, Mr. Kuryakin, will you please meet me
at the palace monastery tomorrow morning?
Oh, and, Miss Rogers,
ever since I saw you...
...in The Cowboy and the Single Girl,
I have been ardent admirer of yours.
I'm looking forward to meeting you too,
Mr. Waverly.
Why, he sounds like a mighty nice man.
He's all right.
[FOOTSTEPS]
SOLO:
Are those pearls or tears?
Sit down.
You can smile too. What happened?
Oh, I don't know.
It just happened.
I feel changed.
SOLO:
Funny.
I wonder if that change relates in any way
to my astrological forecast for today.
I wanna concentrate
on IIIya's Scorpio now.
Now, he was in born
in the year six thousand--
I can't seem to concentrate.
Why not?
I think I've lost my power.
Well, how did that happen?
I don't know.
Everything is so vague.
I remember a little boy.
A little boy in the jungle, the wild jungle.
Yes, the tiger.
There was a tiger. It was so frightening.
The master asked me. Yes, the master.
SOLO:
Who is your master?
AMRA:
The prime minister.
He asked me to take this little boy
into the jungle.
An adorable boy, with a precious smile.
A divine boy.
I'm sorry I cannot tell you
any more about Mr. Kuryakin.
Is he a friend?
Yes, he's a very good friend.
He came to Ghupat
as the abominable snowman, why?
SOLO:
To prevent the very thing that happened.
[SOBBING]
I have killed the new high lama,
haven't I?
Haven't I?
SOLO:
You didn't know what you're doing.
We can't bring the boy back,
but we can make sure the imposter never--
PRIME MINISTER:
Oh, can you, Mr. Solo?
Alas, I think not.
Now, will you be good enough
to put your hands above your head...
...and walk this way, please?
Excellency, Mr. Solo's friend,
Mr. Kuryakin...
I've heard through villagers...
...that Calamity Rogers
has shot an abominable snowman.
PRIME MINISTER:
Mm-hm.
Here, throw this up in the air.
I think we'd better reload first.
[GRUNTING]
AMRA:
It will be a fate that I have earned.
[AMRA SIGHS]
For I have led the rightful high lama
to his death.
Now, there's no reason
to blame yourself.
We may still get out of this.
Your friend? Mr. Kuryakin?
Yes, if he's not hurt too badly,
he may be able to help us.
But they know where he is.
- They must have gone to find him.
- IIIya is very resourceful.
[DOOR OPENS]
ILLYA:
Napoleon.
Sometimes.
We were just talking about you.
Amra Palli, this is IIIya Kuryakin...
...the fellow that was going
to get us out of this.
Well, I didn't know you were in it.
But then you do have a knack
for getting yourself--
Oh, by the way, this is Calamity Rogers,
Napoleon Solo. The--
BOTH:
The fastest gun in the West.
- Mighty nice to meet you.
- Nice 10--
[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]
PRIME MINISTER: Now that you've
all finished your little the formalities...
In a few moments,
this pendulum will start to swing...
...and when it hits the gong,
the noise will be deafening.
The reverberations we have discovered
can drive a man into insanity...
...in a very few hours.
Uh, the ladies, uh...
They provide, as you say in the West,
bargaining power.
I see.
PRIME MINISTER: To spare Miss Rogers
and Amra Palli from this ordeal...
...you need only accede
to a very simple request.
Inform U.N.C.L.E headquarters...
...that the new high lama
is indeed the rightful one.
By the way, do not rely too much
on the help of your Mr. Waverly.
My men overheard the conversation
between him and Mr. Kuryakin.
We know that he's coming to Ghupat.
We shall arrange
an appropriate little accident for him too.
[GONG BANGS]
There, there. Right there.
In that clearing, see?
Instead of a rare antelope,
I trapped an elephant calf.
Oh, a delightful little fellow.
But I couldn't keep him though.
The high lama of Ghupat
wanted it for his reincarnation.
It was prophesied that the new lama...
...would appear before the people
on this beast.
So I handed over the elephant.
Ever since then, the high lama
and I have been on the very--
[GUNSHOT]
[GONG BANGING]
SOLO:
IIIya.
I'm gonna have him call it off.
I don't think the girls
can take it much longer.
I'd rather die than give in to him.
Do not concern yourself over me,
Mr. Solo.
In the East, we have learned...
...to endure all pain,
except that of the spirit.
Enough?
Enough?
SOLO:
Tell your boss we're enjoying the music.
If you will forgive me, Your Excellency,
I do not think the prisoners will yield.
Not even to spare their women?
It the U.N.C.L.E. agents are driven insane,
or it they die, they are no use to us.
Mm-hm.
I do not often commit an error.
But I think my selection
of the Auric Gong Room was one.
Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin
must be permitted to think clearly.
They must be placed
in an atmosphere of peace and quiet...
...as a tomb is quiet.
- I understand.
- Yes, see to it. I shall join you directly.
Right now.
I must begin the coronation ceremonies.
[DRUMS BEATING]
[HORNS BLOWING]
Now the most auspicious moment
of the coronation nears.
It is a well-known fact,
that the new high lama...
...enters the coronation astride
the back of the royal elephant.
Unfortunately, the royal elephant,
Ganesh, the jewel of our land...
...has met an unfortunate accident
in the jungle.
He was killed by the man-eating tiger.
But the stars in their wisdom have decreed
that this tiger shall die in turn...
...and the new high lama
shall enter the coronation...
...seated on the skin of the very beast
that destroyed our Ganesh.
[MONKS CHANTING]
- Your Serenity.
BAKU: Excellency.
Let the ceremony begin.
[HORNS BLOWING]
You're quite good at that.
Do you have a union card?
Hmm. No sense of humor.
[HANDS CLAP]
PRIME MINISTER:
Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin.
I thought the coronation had begun.
At this very moment, there is a ritual dance
for driving away the evil spirits.
So that's what brings you here.
Mr. Solo, today
is the most important day in my life...
...therefore, I will forgive your insolence.
You're the one who killed my husband.
You see, the late high lama
had visions of my plan.
He asked Chang Li, your husband,
to supervise the succession.
Well, that left me
with absolutely no choice.
I had to kill Chang Li.
However, I still think of him very fondly.
I'm not quite clear about your, uh, plan.
The Jami that you saw
was in reality my son, Baku.
Not legally, of course.
Monks are not permitted to many...
...but nevertheless my son.
And in a very few moments,
he shall be the new high lama of Ghupat...
...with millions of followers at his feet.
And you and Mr. Kuryakin
will vouch for his authenticity.
- Oh, we've been through all that before.
- Yes.
But now I ask you for the very last time.
Very shortly, this highly skilled artisan
will have completed his task.
Now.
after you are completely entombed...
...you shall have air enough to survive
for 15 minutes.
I shall leave the mason here
after he has completed his work.
If you decide to accede to my demands...
...before this mortar hardens, just knock.
[PRIME MINISTER LAUGHING]
[BAND PLAYING CEREMONIAL MUSIC]
Which one of us has the plan?
Well, I've got a detonate!
on the back of my tie pin.
That'll take care of the chain.
Except for one thing.
ILLYA: We have nothing to detonate.
SOLO: Mm-hm.
ILLYA:
Or have we?
Uh, excuse me. Miss Rogers, but you seem
to be wearing a good deal of jewelry.
Nice, huh?
Most of it's the real McCoy but...
Well, but that bracelet there,
I won that in a shooting contest.
I don't know what that is.
Magnesium?
A lot of imitation jewelry is made of it.
Uh, if you'll bite the back
of my tie pin 0”.
I don't understand.
Magnesium is very explosive.
That's it.
Now, then we fix this here.
Like that. Tum your head away.
Ow.
SOLO:
Got it?
ILLYA: Now it we all put our shoulders
to the wall, the cement's still wet.
- Are you ready?
SOLO: Lock arms.
- All right.
ILLYA: One-- On three.
SOLO 8. ILLYA:
Two, three!
As is ordained, the time is now.
Upon the head of our boy named Jami,
we shall put this jeweled hat.
And from that moment on,
you will no longer be the child Jami...
...but the high lama of Ghupat.
And humble obeisances...
Seize them. Seize them!
[GRUNTING]
At the conclusion of this sacred rite,
there will be yet another ceremony.
These four people--
Three evil foreigners and one native traitor.
--They have conspired to keep Jami,
the true reincarnation of the late lama...
...from his rightful throne.
Because of this, they shall be executed.
MAN:
Ganesh!
[CHANTING IN TIBETAN]
It's Ganesh. The royal elephant.
And the true high lama.
Shoot the boy. Shoot the boy.
I can't. It's a sign from heaven.
Hail the high lama.
PRIME MINISTER:
No, no! Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
Jami. Jami, forgive me, I beg of you.
Oh, Your Serenity, I was wrong.
Forgive me, forgive me.
BAKU:
Hail, hail the high lama.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
Well-played, gentlemen. Congratulations.
Corking good work.
AMRA: It was not until then that I realized
I was a woman, Mr. Kuryakin.
Well, you are indeed.
But please, call me IIIya.
Amra Palli, would you like to join me
for a little sunset stroll?
Uh, well, uh, Mr. Solo, you see...
...my Jupiter is in descending aspects
with rising high moon.
But Mr. Kuryakin-- Heh.
I mean, uh, IIIya, uh...
I, uh, ahem, understand.
Happily, I was able to bring
the plane down in the clearing.
SOLO: Hmm.
- When who should I see but Ganesh.
Ganesh.
An elephant never forgets.
You know, that's just like the ending
of The Cowboy and the Single Girl.
Except, of course,
instead of the elephants, we had horses.
SOLO: Miss, uh--
WAVERLY: Let me show you the sunset.
It's perfectly staggering from here.
.
[ENGLISH SDH]