The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1964–1968): Season 2, Episode 4 - The Foxes and Hounds Affair - full transcript

[MACHINE BUZZING SOFTLY]

If this invention of yours proves itself,
Monsieur Merlin...

...our technicians will be using it
for something much more than a magic act.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
Yes, that may be.

But still, my audiences will miss it.

And now, Monsieur Kuryakin,
if you will stand here and think 01a secret.

Some little secret
which, perhaps, only you know.

[DEVICE BUZZING]

MERLIN:
Aha. Mademoiselle, it's about time.

Pardon, monsieur.
This is the substitute assistant.

My regular one, she's run off somewhere.



I don't know where.

You can memorize the routine, eh?

I think so, Mr. Merlin.

I just, well... Uh...

They didn't tell me that...

Well, I mean, the costume... Uh...

You see, I'm not too acquainted
with show business really.

MERLIN:
That's enough.

Tonight, you're going
to work with a great magician.

Tomorrow, you can be a tourist again.

Now you go and you study
and do what you must do. Huh?

Pardon, monsieur. Now to
continue with the demonstration.

You think of something very, very secret.

[ELECTRONIC BLEEPING SOUND]



You think 01a man.

A Monsieur Solo, who is on vacation
while you must work.

You think 01a city. Kiev.

MERLIN: When you were a little boy--
- That's enough.

It's quite convincing. Thank you.

[DEVICE SHUTS OFF]

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Tonight, alter tonight,
the translator shall belong to U.N.C.L.E...

...and we'll purchase a little champagne
to seal the bargain, eh?

[BREEZY MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS]

And now, for the last time
on any stage...

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
I despise gimmicks, gentlemen...

...and I shall have little patience...

...with an imitation mentalist.

What is it called again,
this device of his?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Electronic Thought Translator.

[MUSIC PLAYS, APPLAUSE]

Well, finally.

The magic moment of truth has arrived.

Into whose mind will he delve?

[TRANSLATOR BUZZING]

Whose private thoughts...

...will the Magnificent Merlin
now invade?

Round and round she goes,
and where she stops...

You, sir.

Victor Manon.

MERLIN:
Ah.

You are thinking, sir, right now...

Monsieur. You have such thoughts
about me, monsieur?

No.

Mr. Kuryakin, that gentleman over there.

[MERLIN SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

He is thinking he will steal my machine.

And then...

And then, monsieur, he will kill me.

Fantastic.

You were right, gentlemen.

Thrush must have that device.

Farewell to subtlety, gentlemen.

AMez.

Oops.

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

[GUNSHOT, SCREAMS]

[GUNSHOTS]

ILLYA [QUIETLY]:
Come on.

Hey, wait a minute.
Where am I going?

I didn't do anything.

Innocence is not
a bulletproof commodity.

Let me go.

[GUNSHOT]

[CLATTERING]

Who are those men? What's happening?

[GRUNTS]

Close, Mr. Kuryakin. Very close.

Good to see you again, by the way.

Have your men cover each end of the street
and then work in towards the center.

I'll be waiting in my automobile.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

My instinctive dislike
for that young man...

...is growing into
a sincere and honest hatred.

Obviously, his companion has the device.

And just as obviously, he will take it
to U.N.C.L.E.'s laboratory in New York.

Place me on the fastest jet.

And alert our operatives in New York.

Hello? Mama?

This is Mimi.

Hey...

Hey, Mama,
I think I'm gonna come home.

No, I didn't get married, Mama.

I just wanna come home.

L...

[TEARFULLY]
I changed my mind about Europe, Mama.

[SOBBING]

Personally, I'm certain Cantrell
got the translator away from Thrush.

- He was up on the 1001 while I was--
- Uh...

The magician's assistant. The young lady.

An American girl working her way
around Europe, apparently seeing the sights.

Follow-up reported that she took a sedative,
called her mother here in New York...

...and then bought a plane ticket
for the first plane home.

[BEEPING]

CANTRELL: Emergency Blue, this is 41.
Direct to Number One, Section One, please.

Mr. Cantrell, where are you?
Have you still got the Electronic Translator?

Still got it, sir.

On a commercial airline!
over the Atlantic somewhere.

- IIIya get back okay?
- Yes.

But we're still anxiously awaiting
Merlin's invention and yourself.

- Where will you be landing?
- Canada.

Figured the New York airports might be
crawling with little Thrush creatures.

Good man. When you get there,
charter a plane into New York.

We'll try and keep those nasties
off your back if we can.

Right, sir.
I'M check in from Canada. Out.

[SWITCH CLICKS]

[SIGHS]

If I know Victor Marten, and I do...

...he'll be herein New York
to get at Cantrell...

...long before Cantrell has an opportunity
to deliver that device to us.

The young lady.

She took the first plane home, you say?

Yes.

Verify the time
of her arrival in New York.

May I ask why, sir?

Well, certainly.
she knows nothing about--

Well, we must keep Thrush
away from Cantrell.

If one of our men
were to meet that girl's plane...

...Thrush might believe it was she
who was bringing in the translator...

...and stop looking for Cantrell.

Well, Mr. Kuryakin?

Whoever does meet that plane
will have to be...

...somebody Manon knows
is an U.N.C.L.E. agent.

Me, for instance.

No. Mr. Solo, I think.

Victor Marten will have
good reason to recall his face...

...after their encounter
in Hong Kong last year.

But Napoleon knows
nothing about this affair.

- As a matter of fact, he's on vacation.
- Exactly.

If he doesn't know what he's doing,
he won't have anything to talk about...

...in the event of his being waylaid
by our Thrush friends.

Besides, it won't hurt Mr. Solo
to be ignorant once in his life.

Good for the humility.

[SOLO WHISTLING]

[BELL RINGING]

Morning.

What's the matter?
Didn't we pay our rent?

Hey, perhaps you'll tell me:
What is it you want?

What I want is to get into my office.

- Trouble?
- If you wanna audition for Hollywood...

...you're in the wrong place.

That's dressing room,
this is a pressing machine.

Oh, I...

I beg your pardon.

Actually, I was just chasing around
after my pet leprechaun.

No offense.

[BELL RINGING]

Hey.

Don't slam the door.

IIIya.

Merlin, your code number is seven.

- My what is who?
- Shh.

Hey, you. You call for a cab?

Oh, how do I know? I probably did.

Must've been me. This one's too cheap.

Merlin, Code Seven? Thank you.

- Do I know where I wanna go?
- To the airport, naturally.

How many times do I have to tell you?
To the airport, and hurry.

Well, he's off and running.

My dear, your nose is shiny again.

Right about there.

[MACHINE BEEPING]

ILLYA [OVER RADIO]:
That's got it.

You're reasonably pretty again.

[BUZZING]

Well?

I see.

And you heard the word Merlin?

Then the man in the taxicab's our man.

We'll be at the airport
as soon as Mr. Manon joins us.

Uh-huh.

[SNIFFLING]

You sure I didn't catch this cold
from you?

I only wish you had, Miss Belmont.

For heaven's sake.

[BELMONT SNIFFLES]

Thrush is only giving out one promotion
in the western area this year...

...and I want it.

A woman has a hard enough time
carving out a place for herself...

...in this business world.

And I don't need that continental
masterpiece Victor Marten...

...coming over hereto steal my thunder.

What?

How pleasant, Miss Belmont,
to hear your dulcet tones again.

[CHUCKLING]

[CHUCKLING]

Hey, fella. Where do you think you're going
without paying me?

That's 3.50 you owe
for that haul from downtown.

My, my. Is it really?

I'll tell you, I'd like you to
piddle on back to my U.N.C.L.E.

Tell him if he wants me to pay
my own transportation--

For a very bumpy ride, I might add.
--he better raise my salary a little.

Now get thee going, varlet.

WOMAN [OVER P.A.]:
Announcing the arrival...

...of Flight 26 from Paris. Gate 8.

Flight 26 from Paris
now arriving, Gate 8.

The passenger list, Miss Belmont.

Whose name are you
expecting to find, my dear?

This one, perhaps. Mimi Doolittle.

She was Merlin's last assistant,
wasn't she?

Mmm. But only for one night, my dear.

- Surely, U.N.C.L.E. is not making use of--
- Come now, Marten.

Such idealism scarcely becomes
a man of your years.

[WOMAN ANNOUNCING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE OVER P.A.]

[ANNOUNCEMENT CONTINUES]

Will Mimi Doolittle's Uncle Seven
please collect her luggage...

---from the baggage counter?

Will Mimi Daulittle's Uncle Seven
please pick up her luggage...

---from the baggage counter?

Will Mimi Daulittle's Uncle Seven
please pick up her luggage...

---from the baggage counter?

Uncle.

Seven. Code Seven?

Well, alrighty.

- Where can I contact the local police?
- One minute, huh?

MIMI: Mama.
WOMAN: Excuse me.

Mimi. Oh-ho-ho.

Darling, you look wonderful.

Did you meet anybody?
Did you meet a fella, huh?

No. I don't know
what makes you think that, Mama.

I went to see Europe,
not to catch a husband.

WOMAN: Announcing the arrival
of Red Carpet Flight 9 from Home...

...Gate 12.

Red Carpet Flight 9 from Rome...

---now arriving at Gate 72.

Oops.

DRIVER:
That's the guy right there.

I told him 3.50,
he gives me a smile and disappears.

You riding this man's cab
without paying?

SOLO:
Well, I told him it was a very bumpy ride.

Well, I don't wanna make any trouble.
If you cough up with the 3.50, it's--

MIMI:
My luggage.

Oh. Thank you so much.

How could you do that? I mean, why don't
you go steal things from some rich old man?

Wait a minute, miss.
This man swung with your suitcases?

Give me those, you...

MIMI:
Right off the luggage rack.

Well, that does it. Out with you, Rattles.

You can follow us to the station, miss...

...and identify your property
when you file charges.

[SNIFFLES]

Have our little plans gone askew,
Miss Belmont?

Those suitcases must not
get to the police station.

Yes, ma'am.

Gentlemen, if you'll just let me
show you my identi--

Just take it a little easy
on the suit, huh, boys?

[SIGHS]

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

You see, I am Napoleon Solo.
I work for the U.N.C...

Yeah...

You can just tum that little knob there
to channel D.

Let me complete a sentence.
I think we'll clear this thing up.

MAN 1 [OVER DEVICE]: Local weather
at the airport, Sunny, 68 degrees.

[BELL RINGS OVER DEVICE]

Try channel F, huh?

MAN 2:
Come an! Came an!

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER DEVICE]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Napoleon, Waterloo is upon you.

- Move.
- Ahem.

Oh, no. Not that one, my dear.

[SNIFFLES]

[EXHALES]

We've arranged a sort of police escort
for poor Napoleon.

Good. I just had contact with Cantrell.

He's chartering a private plane.

His ETA from Canada is 9:00.
Wadsworth Field, New Jersey.

Nine o'clock,
Wadsworth Field, New Jersey.

If Thrush does manage to get to Napoleon
and finds out that he's just a decoy...

...they're going to make a shish kebab
out of him.

- I think I'd better tag along behind--
WAVERLY: Negative.

If that happens,
Thrush may tum on the girl.

It's your job to keep an eye on her,
not Solo.

I'm sorry. Solo will have to
fend for himself.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[MEN CONTINUE FIGHTING]

Would you look at that now?

I'll keep an eye on this one, Bernie.

All right, all right.
Break it up now. Break it up.

[HISSING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

BELMONT:
Well?

Where is it?

The girl brought it in. We know she did.

We saw Solo pick up her luggage.
Where's he?

Ah!

What horrible taste.

He's over there.

BELMONT:
He'll tell us.

And if he won't,
that disgracefully-dressed young girl will.

- Go get her.
- One moment, little papillon.

My deal, if your female intuition
were not being put to shame...

...by your female stubbornness...

-...you would deduce that Solo here...
- Now see here, Marten--

...is but a decoy
purposely dangled in our paths...

...and that the young lady
has not the foggiest thing to do with it.

- And--
- Go and get her.

Go, little man. Go.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Will you deliver Mr. Solo here
to the embalming room?

So, what did the police people say?
How do they explain such a thing?

He said as soon as they find their police car,
they'll probably find my luggage too.

[SIGHS]

I don't know.

Boy...

Boy, that last night in Europe
was really something.

All those men, and the guns,
and the shooting and things.

So, what about that young man?
The dentist?

You've been home two hours already.

You shouldn't call and wish him a hello
after all these weeks?

Mama, I think I'm gonna
go to Tahiti next.

I just have to save up
for a few months--

[DOORBELL BUZZES]

I'll get it.

Tahiti?

You just got home.

You'll stay home a little while, my gypsy.

And you call that nice young dentist
and wish him a hello, huh?

Yes?

[GRUNTS]

Get out of here, quickly.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SNIFFLING]

The Electronic Thought Translator.

Where is the Electronic
Thought Translator?

[SLURRING]
I told you before...

...I never heard of this thingamajig...

...and I never wanna hear of it.

And I don't like you very much,
and I wish you'd go away...

...because you're boring to me.

Hmm.

[MARTON LAUGHING]

Well, it does seem
that if Mr. Solo knew anything...

...that the drug would've
helped him to remember it by now.

They'll be here with the girl any minute,
and the other U.N.C.L.E. agent they nailed.

I'll get something out of one of them.

Nobody's going to
foul up my operation, Marten.

Miss Belmont, I have been patient.

I have withstood
your inflammatory rudeness.

I have pointedly ignored your...

...whatever it is
that frustrated women become.

But I must now say that it you expect
to achieve the Thrush promotion...

...by sticking those silly needles into--

Expect it?

- Why, you pompous facelified boulevardier!
- Now, Madam--

I am earning this promotion.

You came flapping across the ocean
with your longevity...

...and your masculine superiority,
and I don't like it.

I've worked too hard.

And you soon may be working
equally as hard, lovely lady...

...over a hot stove in the kitchen
of some lonely Thrush outpost...

...making chicken soup
for our sick and wounded.

[SOLO CHUCKLING]

[BELL RINGING]

[BELL RINGING]

Victor Manon
to see Alexander Waverly, please.

Oh, come now, my friend.
Do you announce me...

...or do I march in there
and pull that silly little knob? Hmm?

Hmm.

[STEAM HISSING]

I am not the Trojan Horse, gentlemen.
I assure you.

- Alexander.
- Victor.

- Quite a while.
- And too long.

Too long without an Alexander Waverly
to test my mettle against.

Well, I would say
that any top Thrush official...

...who voluntarily saunters
into these offices for an afternoon visit...

...is putting his mettle
to quite a drastic test indeed.

Uh-huh.
Then I am not to be searched and poked...

...for diabolical weapons?

You're already been searched, Victor.

Seven different types of photographs
and a spectrogram the moment you entered.

Cigarette lighter, pocket change,
one fountain pen. All normal.

- There. You see, Alexander? I came--
- Except...

Your handkerchief, Mr. Marten.

Oh. Lovely and thorough.

And very annoying. Ah!

Careful, young man. It is lethal.

Plastic explosive, Victor?

WAVERLY: Good heavens.
We stopped using that ages ago.

Oh-- Oh.

Oh.

Now, I...

I presume you came to chat about the--

You first, Mr. Kuryakin.

To give the lady
a preview of her performance.

What do you mean by that?

Please, I don't know anything
about anything.

Penathol Plus.

Any programming of your mind
will be of no value whatsoever in about...

In about 45 seconds. Hmm.

[PANTING]

He's the thief that stole my luggage.

And he's the one
that shot at everybody in Europe.

But I didn't do anything.

I'm not horrible like them.

You're horrible to me, child.
And you're next.

Next? Next for what?

Merlin. Code Seven. You're marvelous.

Well, how was I to know
you'd be so miserable at your job?

As a matter of fact--

As.

Napoleon, I do not feel well.

- Fight it. boy. Fight it.
4 will.

Absolute... Abso...

Oh, brother.

Name and U.N.C.L.E. designation?

[MOANING SOFTLY]

Kuryakin.

Section Two, Number Two. Enforcement.

BELMONT:
The Electronic Thought Translator.

Where is it?

[FORCEFULLY]
Where is it?

Fight it, IIIya.

Do something.

Think of girls.

SOLO:
Don't say anything.

Save your breath, handsome.

You've still got a lot of gasping to do.

Have you seen the Thought Translator
work, Alexander? It's marvelous.

If I told you that, you'd know whether
or not it was already here, wouldn't you?

One thing I do know, my friend,
is that my Thrush compatriots...

...are at this very moment,
doing some extremely unpleasant things...

...to one young innocent girl
and two of your best agents.

That's true, Alexander.

Of course it is.
You wouldn't have been traipsing in here...

...without the bargaining power
to get you out again.

[CHUCKLING]

Innocent girl, you say?

If that's so, why are you people
bothering with her?

Don't touch that, Victor.
You'll blow us up.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Alexander.

But unfortunately, you see.
my co-workers do not share my belief...

...that this fancy footwork
of U.N.C.L.E. today is merely...

...a cloud cover to shield the arrival
of the invention by another route.

No, they believe that...

Well, that the girl brought in the invention,
and that Solo was her contact.

But I know you, Alexander.

Well, then you'll know that I have easily,
so shall we get on with it?

All right.

In return for your delivering me
the Electronic Thought Translator...

...I will return back to you
one innocent young lady...

...and two
slightly-used U.N.C.L.E. agents.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Would you be good enough
to stop pressing my buttons, Victor?

These men have other work to do.
Go away.

WAVERLY:
No, wait.

To deliver the translate!
Into Thrush hands is asking me...

...to open up
a veritable Pandora's box, isn't it?

You flatter me, Alexander,
but that need not be a certainly, no.

You can always try to take it back.

But it I do not return
with an understanding between us...

...the deaths of those three young people
will be a certainty, my friend.

A chartered plane, you say.

Where and at what time
will Cantrell's plane land?

Nine o'clock tonight. Wadsworth Field.

BELMONT:
Nine o'clock.

Aha.

Johnson. Johnson.

No need worrying about Pollyanna here.

Their agent Cantrell has charted a plane
to arrive at Wadsworth Field...

...at 9:00 tonight.

That gives us plenty of time.

Wonderful. Then as soon as Mr. Manon
gets here, we could all tum around and 90--

Mr. Marten?

As soon as Manon gets here,
keep him here.

Thrush brotherhood notwithstanding,
there's only one way...

...to avoid his Iousing up my opportunity.

And what about
our U.N.C.L.E. prisoners?

BELMONT:
I'm taking a unit to detour that plane.

As soon as you
hear the translator is ours...

...you may give them
a firsthand demonstration...

...of how a mortuary functions.

[JOHNSON CHUCKLING]

All right, I can understand about you guys
and your U.N.C.L.E. and everything.

But why me?

MIMI: All I ever did was take
a one-night job as a magician's assistant.

I was a trifle sad to learn that Miss Belmont
had gone after the Thought Translator...

...by herself in my absence.

If she does retrieve it, you see, I shall
no longer need you nice young people...

...alive for bargaining with Mr. Waverly.

Well, I'd say we're pretty much
in the same boat, Mr. Marten.

If what I overheard is correct,
your charming Miss Belmont...

...may be successful in her own right
and not need you.

- Indeed?
- Indeed.

As a matter of fact,
if you get your hands on the translator...

...I would suggest
that you read Ms. Belmont's mind...

...and find out how she plans
to remove you as her competition.

Your imaginative ramblings
exceed the bounds of good taste, Mr. Solo.

[DOOR OPENS]

Mimi, through no fault of yours,
there are a group of people...

...that are rather intent on killing us.

Now, there's a young man outside.
A guard.

And I'd like you to get his attention.

I want you to smile at him
and be very charming...

...and very helpless.

Me?

- Me?
- Yeah.

Mr. Guard?

- Yeah? What do you want?
- Uh, heh...

My name is Mimi.

Heh. What's your name?

Are you kidding?

I guess I'm just not the enticing type.

You're a woman.

Haven't you had your basic training?

No, not me. No, I...

I avoid...

I mean, well...

...I travel a lot instead.

Mimi, you've got to get that fellow's--

[LOUDLY]
Well, I don't know how!

Shh!

[SIGHS]

Don't you understand?

I just don't know how.

Inexperience is not inability, young lady.

And you can do anything
that you believe you can do.

Uh,heh...

My goodness.

No. Forget your goodness.

Now, I want you to introduce that guard
to the Mimi Doolittle I just met.

SOLO [WHISPERS]:
Go get them, tiger.

Hmm.

Hey.

Handsome.

CANTRELL [OVER RADIO]:
Wadsworth Field, this is 17.1197 Delta.

I'm about five miles north of pattern.

Request landing instructions
for U.N.C.L.E. priority.

DRIVER: What's going on?
- Nothing much.

The airfield's closed
for the next half-hour or so. That's all.

Quite unusual, ain't it?

If I ain't learned nothing else
driving this big can...

...I certainly learned to take my time. Ha-ha.

[RAPS TWICE]

No problem.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO]

CANTRELL: Okay, Wadsworth.
On my downwind leg, turning for home.

Now.

[RADIO BUZZING]

[SWITCH CLICKING]

Hello, Wadsworth.

CANTRELL:
Came in, Wadsworth.

Hello, Wadsworth. Come in, Wadsworth.

CANTRELL:
Came in, Wadsworth.

Hello, Wadsworth.

RJ 197 Delta, we have an emergency.
Do not attempt to land.

THRUSH AGENT:
Repeat, emergency conditions exist.

Do not attempt to land.

THRUSH AGENT:
We will direct you further.

[CLICKING SWITCH]

Something's wrong.

Tell our mobile unit to track that plane.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

You're a snippety little thing, aren't you?

[DOOR OPENS]

Get back where you belong.

And stay awake too.

Miss Belmont's on her way back.
She got it.

He called me snippety.

I should think so.
Give me your stockings.

- My what?
- Give me your stockings. Quickly.

What?

Oh.

Another one just went in.

DRIVER: That gal that was with Martyn
at the airport.

- She carried a suitcase with her.
WAVERLY: I'm an the way.

You called me incompetent, Marten.

Am I incompetent now?

Mr. Marten, if you please.

And you have been inordinately lucky,
my dear, I will say that. Hmm?

Here, let me show you how it works. Hmm?

I've seen it demonstrated.

We'll see how they feel at Thrush Central
about my being merely lucky...

...in bringing in this little offering.

I will be making my own report
to Thrush Central, of course.

[TRANSLATOR BUZZING]

[MIMI SCREAMING]

ILLYA:
Napoleon, stop it.

No!

- Help!
- What's the matter with you?

No!

MIMI:
Aah!

GUARD:
Hey, leave that girl alone.

[GRUNTS]

Are you all right?

[SIGHS]

[LOUDLY]
What do we do now?

Shh.

We could make one of our daring...

...resourceful and nauseatingly
punctual escapes...

...if only the door weren't locked.

[ELECTRONIC BLEEPING SOUND]

[BLEEPING STOPS]

So Mr. Solo told me true.

[BUZZING STOPS]

Who would have thought
without first reading her thoughts...

...that a Thrush official
could tum against her own?

BELMONT:
Hold it.

I'm going to get that promotion
without any obstruction.

Take that translator out to the car.

[CHUCKLES]

You, madam, are a disgrace,
even to Thrush.

Put Mr. Manon
with the U.N.C.L.E. prisoners.

And then tum on the carbon monoxide.

[SNIFFLING]

Wait, wait, wait.

BELMONT:
No.

Hmm.

You won't be needing it.

[SOFTLY]
Bye. Hmm-hmm.

[ILLYA GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

I'm terribly sorry.

[ILLYA GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[CLATTERING]

Kill that woman.

[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Signal our men to close in.

BELMONT:
Shall we go, gentlemen?

Our--

My moment of glory is at hand.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

[SNEEZES]

[EXPLOSION]

Good grief.

MIMI:
What happened?

Well, I...

I believe that Miss Belmont
finally sneezed.

Oh? Huh.

Gesundheit.
- Mm.

Oh.

- Well, Victor.
- Alexander.

There's nothing much left
to argue over, is there?

No.

No, nothing much left indeed. Hmm.

There, you see, Alexander.

There are your agents safe and sound.
My word has been my bond.

You said that
with a very straight face, Victor.

Now if you'll be good enough to come along
with me back to U.N.C.L.E. headquarters.

What? But I helped you in this.

Oh, Alexander. You're much too good a man
to do such a thing.

Victor, no one is all good.

WAVERLY:
Come along, please.

- After you, Alexander.
- No.

Uh-- Well...

So it's settled then, Napoleon.

Dinner at my house on Thursday night.

It would be, I'm sure, a rare and--

IIIya, you're coming on Friday,
and no excuses either.

Him? What do you need him for?

Two of you.
Wow, wait till Mama gets a load of this.

[ENGLISH SDH]