The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1964–1968): Season 1, Episode 14 - The Terbuf Affair - full transcript

Emil.

They found us.

I couldn't get across the sea.

A Gypsy, a man named Emil.

- Have you seen him?
- No.

Permit me.

You know the penalty for
aiding an enemy of the state?

I know it.

Remember it.

It's hopeless.

I should let them kill me before
I bring trouble to all of you.



It's never hopeless.

Now, you go back to
your people. I'll find help.

No one can help me. No one.

Somehow I visualized
a vacation in Rome...

would be spent in a more
exciting preoccupation...

than in the pursuit
of a veal parmigiano.

I know that Vito moved his restaurant
to someplace in this part of town.

Illya, believe me that this
man does not cook food.

He makes love to it.

Well, they should put people like
that in asylums, not restaurants.

They have some
Gypsies in town, huh?

The Rasli Gypsies
from the Albanian border.

His signet ring, it bears
the eagle of Shqiperia.

Your stock of obscure,
miscellaneous information...



never ceases to amaze me.

Well, I see the guides are
using the hard sell this year.

I have a feeling
we're being herded.

You think it would help to
tell them we're on vacation?

You take the left,
I'll take the right.

Watch out for the staves,
they know how to use them.

- In here.
- Clara.

- Clara.
- Napoleon.

It's been a long time.

Seven years.

Come on.

Seven years.

Yeah, that is a long time.

How did you know I was in Italy?

I telephoned your apartment in New York
and was told you were vacationing here.

The Gypsy found you for me.

Napoleon...

I need your help.

I heard you got married.

Yes.

By the way, I am Illya
Nichovitch Kuryakin.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
This is Clara Richards.

We once were... What were we?

We were very good friends.

Clara Valder, now.

My husband, Stefan and I
have a sheep farm in Terbuf...

- near the Greek border.
- The Land of the Eagle.

We're in trouble, bad trouble.

And I think perhaps you are
the only one who can help us.

- Will you?
- Well, tell me about it.

Well, it's politics, of course.

Terbuf is a poor country,
surviving only on its foreign aid.

And most of that money is finding
its way into the wrong pockets.

- But it's difficult to prove.
- Well, not in this case.

The sheepherders on our farm are
Gypsies, cousins of these people here.

And their leader, a man named Emil,
stumbled on a very dangerous secret.

A Lieutenant Fest one night
got drunk and was robbed.

Papers he was carrying
were brought to Emil.

And they prove that Colonel Morisco,
who's head of the Secret Police...

is the man diverting
this aid for his own profit.

- He knows that Emil has these documents?
- Oh, he knows.

They've been hunting
Emil like a wild animal.

I've been trying to
help him escape.

Colonel Morisco heads
a powerful secret army.

His agents are everywhere,
even here in Italy, watching me.

I couldn't bring out
the documents either.

- Your husband?
- Stefan's a good man, a very good man.

But he just isn't capable of
handling something like this.

Napoleon, a long time ago...

your work drove us apart.

Now it's brought me back to you.

Please help me.

Go back home to Terbuf.

Wait for me there.

We're due back in America
the day after tomorrow.

All right, tell Mr. Waverly
I missed the plane.

Let's send him a telegram.

I think you're going to need me.

Thank you.

Yes, you're going to need me.

But what you're trying to do
is terribly dangerous, my dear.

Can't you see that?

But we need expert help.

Now, Napoleon knows
all about that sort of thing.

Belongs to a top-secret agency.

I've told you now, Emil
must look out for himself.

Besides I don't believe
his story in the first place.

I do.

Stolen documents.

Why doesn't he produce them?

He will.

Where it will do the most good.

Darling, don't you understand?

If we can get Emil
out of the country...

then that will mean the
end of Colonel Morisco.

And all the tension
will be gone.

It's best to keep out
of these things, Clara.

This isn't your free and
easy America, you know.

I know.

But I know if we're going to
live with any self-respect...

that sometimes we take risks.

Just a tourist, on holiday.

But an expert.

He knows all about these things.

If Emil gets out of the
country, if this man succeeds...

do you know what that
means, Col. Morisco?

I know, you don't
have to tell me.

And your wife is helping him.

Maybe Lieutenant Fest
should have a talk with her.

I'll make a bargain with you.

If you promise to see
my wife is left alone...

I'll deliver Emil to you
and his documents.

- But if Fest as much as touches her...
- Don't threaten us, Valder.

Not a threat.

A bargain.

Don't touch her.

And she must never find
out I'm involved in this.

Your conscience
is showing, Valder.

In the man who arranges for the
sales of the supplies I appropriate...

that's a fatal weakness.

Does your wife know
where Emil is hiding?

No, Colonel Morisco.

And you think you can
conceal your duplicity from her?

Yes. Yes, I'm sure I can.

Well, I doubt it.

She's much too intelligent.

And I think your share of our
profits is getting rather too large.

This friend of your wife's,
he knows you personally?

No, we have never met.

Send Major Vicek to me.

I have more faith in the
talents of an American spy...

than in those of a sheep
farmer. You find that ironic?

And I don't like a man
who tries to bargain with me.

Lock him up, Fest.

Keep him incommunicado
for a while. Lock him up.

No.

No.

But why?

- I told you, I'll deliver him to you...
- Your wrists.

Get away from me.

Get away from me.

But I told you I'll help you.

Did you sent for me, colonel?

Major Vicek.

Clara Valder.

Clara Valder.

You find her attractive?

Oh, yes.

Good.

That will make your task
so much easier for you.

You leave Clara alone.

Take him away, Fest.

Let him learn how we
treat our political prisoners.

Let his wife see him
just once then bring her.

You just touch her, just
try to touch her once...

Just try...

You were saying, colonel?

For a man of
limited education...

Lieutenant Fest has
surprisingly good taste in brandy.

The Americans are
sending us a spy.

His assignment is to find Emil
and smuggle him out of the country.

Oh, isn't that rather
presumptuous of them?

A specialist.

We'll give him just enough rope.

- Your health, major.
- Freedom to the people.

Well, it's nice to have you waiting
for me. It seems like old times.

- Yes, like old times.
- Almost.

Have a good trip?

Slow but perhaps I
was a little bit impatient.

I have the feeling we're being watched.
Didn't you tell your Gypsies about me?

No, I... I'm being watched.

I didn't get to
talk to my friends.

Looks like I'll have to
introduce myself to Emil, then.

Stefan's waiting at the car.
He's most anxious to meet you.

Good. I'm looking forward to meeting him,
I won't say that I will like him but...

You must.

Yes, I know.

My husband, Stefan,
Napoleon Solo.

Oh, a great pleasure, Mr. Solo. My
wife has told me so much about you.

A good trip, I hope?

- Excellent, thank you.
- Splendid. A poor country...

but we try to make
our visitors comfortable.

Shall we?

Clara was afraid I might
take a disliking to you...

on emotional grounds.

Oh, surely you're a most
reasonable man, Mr. Solo.

No, not really. I always
find reason so misleading.

So neither one of you
knows where Emil is now?

The Gypsies trust no
one, not even their friends.

Did you know that the
station was under surveillance?

Really? Are you sure?

Well, to people
in my profession...

it's pretty hard to camouflage
the stench of the Secret Police.

They can put newspapers
on their faces...

but somehow the smell just
sort of creeps over the edges.

How very perceptive of you.

Try some of our Slivovitza.

We're very proud of it.

My darling wife Clara tells me that
you're an expert in these matters.

You think you'll be
able to find this Gypsy?

Yes, it shouldn't be hard
provided there's a link...

Oh, there is a link.

The Gypsies have a place
of their own in the village.

A bar, the Cafe Flora, run
by a man named Walter.

But they are a suspicious lot.

Well, when a man's on the run, the
one essential ingredient is suspicion.

- It's Cafe Flora, is it?
- Yes, you can't miss it.

- All right, if I'm late...
- Oh, we'll still be up.

Napoleon...

be careful.

Oh, my primary consideration.

- Good day.
- Good day to you.

I need a much better
performance from you, dear wife.

A much better performance...

if you ever want to see
your dear Stefan again.

Now, your timing is
precise. That's a good omen.

You were right, I am
going to need you.

I told you so.

Progress?

Progress, yes.

In what direction, I don't know.

There's a look on your
face that wasn't there before.

What has she been saying to you?

That's just it. She didn't
say anything, nothing.

Just seemed so
withdrawn, holding herself in.

I don't know,
there's something...

Her husband is very
smug, very proprietary.

It's a husband's privilege.

Forget him.
Remember our purpose.

Yeah, Emil. The link to Emil
is a Gypsy named Walter.

He runs a hangout
called the Cafe Flora.

She hasn't been able to
tell him about me yet, though.

It's a handicap, isn't it,
being so obviously American?

Of course you know all
about the Gypsies ways.

I'll tell them that an American
is coming to help them.

But you know, it's a slim
chance I'll be able to pull it off.

What about the boatman?

He'll wait for 24 hours,
rather reluctantly.

He has to join the rest of the
fishing fleet one hour after daybreak.

Well, better get to work.

Don't think too much
about what might have been.

Things are what they
are. She is married.

Yeah, I noticed that.

Soldier.

Not one word, not
a smile, not a laugh.

Not one word.

Give me your trousers.

Now.

Yes, I am one of you.

As I said I am one of you.

Are you Walter?

My name is Kranik.

Walter's my brother.

Will you tell me
where I can find Emil?

No?

Listen, I am one of
you, my friend, a Gypsy.

You think I would betray
him? I come to help him.

Who was your father?

My father...

was Rasli Yansa...

the 11th son of Kurish...

who led the Rasli tribe
out of Constantinople...

when the Turks massacred the Gypsies and
left their bodies to rot on the hillside.

Emil is a Rasli too.

Do you think I would betray him?

Your medallion.

Tell me what you want to know.

An American will come.
Let him talk to Emil.

Will you do this?

Good.

He's not one of us but he's a
friend. Listen to what he has to say.

In a short while...

he will come.

Police.

Hey.

Your papers please.

No weapons.

- You Bulgarian?
- Yes.

Fisherman?

Yes. And I need my knife.

I see you stole yourself
a cigarette case, huh?

No. It's a present
from an uncle.

On your way, tovarich.

I need my knife for my work.
And I want my cigarettes.

I said on your way.

Not without my
cigarettes and my knife.

I think I better teach
you a lesson, huh?

I don't think you'd
like my brand.

Hello there.

Hello.

Anybody here?

Well, a pretty girl like you
shouldn't be alone in a place like this.

And quite probably, you aren't.

Where can I find Walter?

I'm a little late, I'm sorry.

Where are you?

You have other things
to apologize for...

you failed to convince your Gypsy
friends of my benevolent intentions.

Oh, really? How annoying.

And to answer your question...

I'm underneath the Cafe Flora,
in some sort of a cellar here.

A bunch of iron bars all over and
I don't have the necessary tools.

Well, there's no problem there, is there?
Kill the fatted calf, I'll be right over.

It looks like
somebody already has.

Okay, come on over.
I'll buy you a drink.

I would have thought you'd have
brought some of these yourself.

I would have but I figured I'd be searched
thoroughly when I entered the country.

And I was searched thoroughly.

When you entered the country.

Care to join us for a little spot
of supper? Some Slivovitza?

Here. Slice off a hunk of that.

And put that knife away.

No, no, no. They
could have escaped.

That's precisely the point.
Now, would you like to talk?

All right, my friend, we talk.

- Are you Emil?
- No, no. That is Kranik.

I am Walter.

Emil is in hiding.

- Where?
- Oh, I'm not going to tell you.

But I will take
you to him. Alone.

Provided that you both stay in my
sight from this moment until we meet him.

Okay, fair enough.

And then?

And then we'll take him
across the Adriatic Sea to Italy.

We tried that once, it's
no good. The patrols come.

No doubt. The night is the
obvious time, they watch.

We'll take him out in broad
daylight when the fishing fleet sails.

And if necessary, we'll create a diversion
to keep their beautiful minds off us.

We'll rendezvous at Clara Valder's
house, go down to the boat from there.

Fishing fleet leaves about
an hour after daybreak.

Can you get Emil
there by that time?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

Clara Valder must
know about this.

Go on. Go on. These
men are my friends.

They're not Gypsies.
Yeah, but they're my friends.

You tell her we come
tonight, before the sun rises.

To the Rasli tribe...

and their friends.

If you'd just let me
see him just once more.

When this is all over.

Why did you have
to beat him like that?

There's nothing more constant...

than the philosophy
of applied terror.

Would you be so... So cooperative if
you had thought we would coddle him?

Of course not.

But you know, don't you...

that if your friend Solo
so much as suspects...

you'll never see your
dear Stefan again.

You will not even
know how he died.

So follow my
advice, my dear wife.

And wait in patience for
that which is worth waiting for.

And always remember, that
Stefan's life is in your hands.

And Napoleon's?

His too.

Just remember, now.

I bring a message.

Tonight, before the sun
rises, we bring Emil here.

All right.

Headquarters.

You promise he'll go free?

Which he? Solo or your husband?

Both of them.

Hello, Fest?

They'll be coming
to the house tonight.

Surround the house.

Keep your men well-concealed.

When I give you the signal,
break in, on all sides, fast.

Is that understood?

Good.

It promises to be an
exciting night, my dear.

I still think it's better to wait
here till the fishing fleet sails.

No. We go to Clara's.

Everybody in town knows
about this meeting place.

Police.

Slivovitz.

Slivovitz.

- Play, Gypsy girl. Play. Come.
- Play.

Play for us.

- Play.
- All right.

Sing, Maria.

- Play, Gypsy girl, play. Come.
- Play.

Play for us.

- Play.
- All right.

Slivovitz.

Slivovitz.

This is Oskol, he's one
of us. He drives a truck.

A Gypsy in a police uniform?

Half-Gypsy. If
they ever find out:

These are our friends.
They've come to help us.

Listen, what's
going on upstairs?

They get drunk now.

All day, we search the
hills looking for Emil.

We found only one lost sheep,
which we shot for our supper.

Better to shoot sheep
than Gypsies, huh?

Stefan Valder, he knows
where Emil is hiding?

Why do you ask?

Well, tonight, I take political prisoner
from the cells over to the barracks.

They say, I do not know, but
they say his name is Stefan Valder.

You sure about that?

A political prisoner,
who can be sure?

They do not have
names, only destinies.

But if it truly is Valder and he
knows where Emil's hiding...

This is a weak man, my
friend. He will tell them.

No, no. Wait. It will
be dark in 15 minutes.

It's dangerous to go
out in the streets. Police.

- Clara's in danger.
- I'll go with you.

Illya, you do what you have
to but get Stefan Valder out.

Out of a Secret
Police jail? But why?

Just get him out. Then get Emil.

Call me at the house
before you bring him there.

- Slivovitz.
- Slivovitz.

Through the broken bars
of a window, all our hopes.

He must love the
woman very dearly.

We will allow my friend the
luxury of an occasional weakness.

- I heard Stefan was arrested.
- But Napoleon...

Yes, they arrested me.

A mistake.

These things happen, you know.

A police state, I'm afraid.

But I'm a very important
man in these parts.

Yeah, yeah, that
would take some doing.

Did you see Emil?

No. But he is coming
here a little later.

Oh, splendid. And then?

Then we'll decide what to
do. I think I'll go to bed now...

- I've got to get up early.
- Good night, Napoleon.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Attention.

Get back to your posts.

Quickly. Back to work.

Gypsy.

They've gone.

All right.

Now, take me to Emil.

Well, a Gypsy, you know,
learns to be more than careful.

He learns that trust is
sometimes a very foolish thing.

Now you will tell
your real name...

and where you found the
golden eagle of the Rasli tribe.

My name is Illya Kuryakin.

And I bought the eagle of the Rasli tribe
in a little shop on the Via Veneto in Rome.

You know, it's good
that now you tell the truth.

A lie is sometimes more
helpful as every Gypsy knows.

Well...

Now, where's Emil?

I am Emil.

And it is good that
you've come to help me.

I'm grateful.

And now let us make plan
for the release of Stefan Valder.

Oh, it's good,
good. Now, listen...

Stefan, run for the woods.

Run for the woods, Stefan!

- Stefan?
- Stefan?

Good work, Oskol.

- Stefan?
- Where is Stefan?

- Find him.
- Stefan?

- Stefan.
- Stefan.

Illya?

Come in, please.

Illya?

- Come in. Come in.
- We freed Stefan but he's disappeared.

- He disappeared?
- Yes, he ran away, I don't know where.

Oh, by the way,
Walter is in reality, Emil.

The man I thought was
Stefan is Secret Police.

- Better take Emil directly to the boat.
- The boatman won't wait, you know.

He says he'll leave
an hour after daybreak.

All right, take off
whether I get there or not.

Good luck.

The man that you said was your husband
is prowling downstairs. Now, who is he?

Napoleon, I'm sorry
you got into this.

Everything's going to
be all right. Who is he?

I don't know what you mean.

I know that Stefan was
arrested. The real Stefan.

- He's my husband, he is.
- One of the Secret Police? Is that it?

No, he's Stefan Valder,
he's my husband.

Well, then who was
the man in the prison?

I don't know, I
only know that...

- That no one escapes from them.
- Your husband has escaped.

He has. Our friends have
got him away from the police.

He's probably on
his way here now.

Stefan. Stefan.

Stefan.

So our little game is over.

Oh, Stefan.

Such a pity.

It was going so well.

You know the
penalty, don't you...

for what you've been
conspiring to do?

No, I really don't
but I can guess.

Sergeant, tell Lieutenant Fest to
prepare a firing squad. Take them both.

In cases of treason, Mr. Solo...

we usually dispense with the
bourgeois formalities of a trial.

Would you get the
young lady her robe.

The robe.

Take them out.

You were much better off
in jail, weren't you, Valder?

You and I will stay here...

and we will talk about
the whereabouts of Emil.

Take him downstairs.

Get my uniform.

The boatman
will sail in an hour.

Then you must go alone. I'm
going back to find my friend.

You can do nothing by
yourself. We all go or we all stay.

You go, I stay. Don't argue.

I won't argue.

Hey, come.

Are you coming?

So be it.

We all swim in
the soup together.

Major, Emil, by the
stables. He's wounded.

Good work, soldier.

Well, Emil...

so nice to see you.

I'll take that.

Now, few things
you're going to tell me.

Stefan Valder, inside
the house, bleeding.

Get him, take him to the boat.
We'll catch up, I promise you.

Now, my friend, a
Mr. Solo. Where is he?

You're too late, my friend.

They are shooting him.

First, so that you will
remember me, a personal affair.

I'm pleased you
decided not to talk.

It gives me pleasure.

Firing squad, one round, load.

Napoleon.

I'm sorry.

You're not half
as sorry as I am.

Ready.

Aim.

Fire.

The next time, it
will be real bullets.

Now, where is Emil?

I tell you it was on
the tip of my tongue...

but that big bang
scared it right out of me.

Sorry, Mr. Solo.

Open the gate.

Open the gate. Hurry up.

Remember, major, that
I'm a very nervous man.

Lieutenant Fest,
what's going on?

I don't think he will break. I
will go to work on the woman.

Later, first, Colonel
Morisco wants to see them.

- But give me an hour, tovarich major.
- Now.

Sergeant, Major Vicek
will take the prisoners.

This is Lieutenant
Fest, a good officer.

Major Kuryanik has just
come from the capital.

Hurry up. Colonel Morisco
is a very impatient man.

All right, come on.

Hurry.

Now, ride home, James,
and don't spare the horse.

Well, back up,
man. Let me through.

Where are they going, Fest?

But, colonel, I
thought that you...

Get after them!

Come on. This way.

Illya's been wanting to do that ever
since he saw Errol Flynn play Robin Hood.

Now where are we going?

There's a boat waiting for us.

I'm not leaving without Stefan.

Yeah, I had figured
that out quite a while ago.

Let's go home.

Major...

your army has been exposed.

Stefan.

These are what Stefan
Valder will tell the officials.

It'll be all right.

No more hiding
and no more running.

Just the two of us.

Thank you, Napoleon.

- You'd better come along.
- No.

I must lead all of my
people to safety, now.

At least let me take this one.

Oh, no, please.
Leave him for us.

He will order the border
guards to let us pass.

- Won't you, major?
- Yes, yes, of course, I will.

Love, love.

The danger it leads men into.

Yes, I have noticed that.

We'll break the chain
when we get to Italy.

There's no rush. It's really
not holding anything together.

[ENGLISH SDH]