The Man Who Can't Get Married (2006–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Episode #1.9 - full transcript

- Episode 9 -
What's Wrong with Having a Girlfriend?!

Alright.

Dehydration.

It happens when you don't drink any water,
or even stop to take breaks during exercise.

Keep in mind that you're exercising
to get more healthy, okay?

I'm not doing it for health.

Eh?

Then, what for?

The pursuit of physical beauty.

And how exactly does one pursue that?

It has nothing to do with you, that's
for sure.



Indeed.

I was just curious, if maybe it's because
you wanted to show it to someone.

For your information, things like self-
actualization only concern a single person.

If it only concerns yourself, then please
don't busy up the hospital, okay?

Sensei,
your father's on line three.

Ehhh?

I'm in the middle of working, so tell
him I can't pick it up, alright?

Okay.

Line 3, huh?

How's the old man doing, anyway?

Well, he's the same as usual,
by which I mean...

...he keeps pushing me to do a miai.*
(*Formal marriage interview)

Is that the picture for the miai?

I kinda wanna see it.



Hmph, a miai...I could've helped you out.

I can find a marriage partner on my own,
thank you very much.

But to think that this person wants his
first marriage at 45...

Isn't that a bit...

Your father's just worried because you
can't find a partner on your own.

In addition to that, isn't a 45-year-old
man just right for you?

Uh, why are you speaking for my father?

I'm not.

Dehydration is something you get over
pretty quickly, isn't it?

Yes.

Well then, see ya.

Kuwano-san's got enough looks, but
he still can't go the extra mile, can he?

If he had some power, I'm sure
he'd be able to marry someone.

He's just "that" kind of person.

It's nothing more than that.

Show in the next patient, would you?

Yes! I'm glad I found you.

I was even thinking of calling you.

What?!

Were you waiting long?

This is Kuwano.

'sup.

What are you doing?
Sit down already.

What is this about?

This is a girl...from a Cabaret Club
I go to often.

You're still going there?

Let's not talk about that now...

Today, I made plans to meet this girl
through a text message,

and Keiko ended up seeing...

Then...why don't you just stop?

But if I cancel, it means I'm
feeling guilty.

As if you're not.

Welcome!

Why don't you order some coffee?

Ice Royal Milk Tea.

What am I here for again?

Look, she's here!

Excuse me! I'd like a coffee too.

Ah?! What's this about?

Sorry, but yesterday, I happened to see
your text message.

Eh?
Why are you looking at others'
mail without permission?

In any case, who is this person?

No way...you actually thought I was
being unfaithful?

C'mon, what do you think he's here for?

Why are you here, brother?

Who knows.

Well, you see,

I was having problems with my ex-boyfriend,

So I came here to talk about it and
seek help with these two.

How nice of you.

But...brother, what relation to you have to her?

Are you going out?

No...

Yes we are.

Thanks for the ride.

Sorry...for saying we were going
out back there.

Don't worry about it.

Your girlfriend would be pissed
if she found out, right?

Well, I don't...um..have a...

Bye now.

See ya later.

"Later"?

Welcome back!

Were you really at the hospital again?
How are you?

I wasn't.
...just doing some muscle training.

What's on the schedule for today,
anyway?

Sari-chan should be by any minute now to
bring the new plans, so I'll tell you then.

Excuse me!

- Ah, here you are!
- Good timing.

Thank you!

Here you go.

Kuwano-san, Kuwano-san..

Who was that girl just now?

She was, like, this very pretty girl..

And she gave him a ride in her car all
the way back here..

WHO?

What does it matter?

Man, what if it was his girlfriend...

That's private.

Seriously?

How many times have you said
"I don't need women?"

I never said those exact words.

I said...
"I don't want to get married."

Then that means...that girl is..

Wouldn't you like to know?

Kekkon Dekinai Otoko

Translated by Molokidan

Ehhh?
You gotta be kidding me!!

Nope, this is for real.

What kind of person is she?

I've never seen her myself, but...

I hear she's pretty amazing.

I just can't believe it.

I have no idea how things will turn
out at this rate...

Well, who cares.

No...

I have to see this for myself!!

Eh?

Welcome.

Ken-chan, thanks for waiting!

Good evening!

Kuwano-san, did you get a girlfriend?

Eh?

Ahh...if I was wrong, I understand.

I thought so.

Eiji-kun always overexaggerates..

Who said I don't have a girlfriend?

Eh?
So you really do have one?

What do you mean by the term
"girlfriend," anyway?

Well, I just want you to answer my question...

Do you really have one?

'sup.

What is it?

And this is..

My neighbor.

Well then...I'll leave you two alone.

Ken-chan, Ken-chan!!

Alright,
Now what are you doing here?

Nakagawa-san gave me directions.

And?

This Sunday...wanna go out with me?

Eh?
You must be lying.

That's what I thought too!

But the truth is, she's a pretty girl!

Young?

Younger than me, if I'm not mistaken.

Young, huh...

What kind of person?

Ahhh, I'm not really sure...

Kuwano-san...said he had no interest in
love, didn't he?

According to Eiji-kun...

All Kuwano-san said was that he doesn't want
to get married, but is interested in love.

Is that so?

Well, isn't that good for him.

But...for some reason, I just can't take it.

Why?

While I'm over here driving myself crazy
trying to find a good person,

The truth is that Kuwano-san's had a girlfriend
all along...isn't that mortifying?

How could we be beaten by Kuwano-san,
of all people?!

Well, is the kind of person that
surprises others often.

I wonder how he got her?

That doesn't interest you?

Not a bit.

And what if...all of a sudden,
they got married?!

Something's wrong.

Or should I use it after all?

Kaneda!

Hello.

Good afternoon.

But I wanna go to barbecue!

- For stamina?
- Yeah, yeah, that's exactly it!!

She's the one!!

Are they fighting?

Or is he breaking up with her?

Ah, she's crying!

That's terrible!

Alright, I get it.

If that's the case, then I'll pretend in
front of your ex for you.

Please do.

So you really were having problems.

But why me?

You could've asked Nakagawa.

Earlier, I had planned to.

But then, "that" happened.

But more than that, I'd simply
rather be seen with Kuwano-san.

It's him.

Hello?

Yep, I'm waiting...

...here with my new boyfriend.

Move your ass already!

What's that all of a sudden?

Hello?

What the hell..

So he's coming?

He said it was too troublesome, so
he'd break up with me.

He was so nervous as he said that,
the coward.

That so?

Well, in any case, you should be glad.

I thought this would really happen, so I
wanted to go somewhere with Kuwano-san.

Now they're laughing!!

Maybe they show love through arguing?

Wait, what are we doing?

Let's go.

Hold on a second!

Damn mosquito.

Thank you very much.

Well, take care.

That's weird.
Like we'll never see each other again.

I've got to keep searching for new love.

Later.

"Love"?

Hey, let's do a group date!

Why are you suddenly asking me that?

I just...feel that I can't go on any
longer like this.

You're really that motivated by Kuwano-san?

Huh?

Ken-chan?

Huh?

Is something wrong?

Ken-chan, what are you doing?

HELLO?!

I've been forgotten, haven't I?

We'll see each other again, right?
Give me a call.

Yuki

It's a minor summer cold.

I'll prescribe you some medicine.

Thank you very much.

I don't usually colds too easily, though.

If you have a sudden change in your life,
that might make small problems for your health.

Like a strange circumstance, right?

I wonder if it's because Kuwano-san
got a girlfriend.

I actually saw her yesterday.

Is that so?

She's *quite* young.

Young?

...Yes.

I've got to do my best too.

It seems like the older you get, the
tougher it is to fall in love.

I know what you mean.

And then there's marriage...

Thinking about that reminds
me of miai...

That's true.

Eh?
Do you have a miai?

No.

It might be a good idea to give it a try.

Well then, I shall think upon it.

Why haven't you called me?

Good evening.

'sup.

-[ Christmas Lover ]-

A meeting of fate...a prince
and princess fall in love...

-[ The Aurora Guardian ]-

Life or death...three thousand
bullets falling through the air...

That's right, yesterday...

I saw.

Saw what?

Your cute girlfriend.

To see you with that type of person...
Surprising, to say the least.

What do you mean by "surprising?"

Oh, nothing.

Don't just stop talking!

Don't you think she's a *bit* young for you?

For men,

there's no age limit to who they can date.

That's right, you often hear of young
girls marrying older men.

Although rarely the opposite.
How unfair.

Young girls are nice, polite, and pretty,
you know.

Plus, they don't fire back annoying
responses after everything you say.

So sorry, for not being nice and polite.

Well, from a 70-year-old man's perspective,
maybe you'd seem nice and cute.

I'll keep that in mind.

If you find someone, I'll
buy you a wedding gift.

That would be wonderful!

Now, good luck to you and
your young girlfriend.

Oh, excuse me.

Yes?

It's Kuwano.

Good evening.

'bout time you called.

Tommorow evening...shall we go out?

Hello, dad?

I saw his picture.

I get it.

That's why I'll do it.

I'm telling you, I'll do the miai.

I'm being serious!!

And they actually expect you to use it like that!
-Dude, that's so lame.

Instead, I cut up the vegetables, then mix,
mix, mix, mix them together with the miso.

Then you suck the moisture out of it.

So then, you cut it up real fine, put some
warm water on it, and it becomes miso soup!

- Dude, that's friggin' sweet.
- It IS friggin' sweet!

- I know, is that genius or what?
- You definitely are!

The truth is, salt content is so important,
that without it, miso soup's battle power is
drastically weakened.

Salt content, that's like, important!!

I know!
Here, lemme show ya.

Maybe I'll order another glass.

I'm actually not gonna drink anymore,
so...you want it?

- Uh, no.
- Come on, don't be shy!

- No, really! I insist!
- I'm fine...

What?

You have a lovely face.

Yes.

I'm going to the toilet.

After this, I'm taking you to Hell.

What the hell was that?

That's what you get for demanding
such a thing out of the blue!

But really, those guys were so bad, you
must have been actually trying to find them!

Well Michiru-san, just what kind of guys
DO you like, anyway?

Good point!

You won't be satisfied with anything
unless you have an objective in the first place!

In any case, what is it you want?
Love? Marriage?

Hey, why is everyone ganging up on me?!

We're not ganging up, just asking.

Of course, the most important thing is love.

From there, the ideal thing to do would
be to marry, now wouldn't it?

But without moving in, the guy might just
be fine with dropping in from time to time.

And that way he can still live by himself.

Hey, I know it's bad!

What do you want me to do about it?

[Whatever happens during a date,
don't do this!]

When ordering, making the "X" sign
is a bad idea.

Why is it a bad idea?

Good afternoon!

Welcome.

I got the client's OK, so let's have a
meeting real quick.

Wait, Kuwano-san, you're going on
a date today, aren't you?

Says who?

This breath spray.

Err, no, that's trash.

What?

As far as courting women go,
I have more experience than Kuwano-san, so

If something comes up, don't
hesitate to ask me anything!

Noisy.

How nice.
Maybe I should do all this myself.

Kaneda updated!

Forget about Kaneda, and
get over here!

I have another client waiting for
me after this, you know!

Just hold on a minute.

"Yesterday, I did a little rocking out at karaoke."

[Case 2 - Karaoke Date]
[Pointing the mic down toward
your ass is a bad idea.]

Amateur.

I'm so sorry for being late.

I'm Sawazaki from Japan Home Produce.

I'm Yamashita from Tokyo Career Consulting.

Tokyo Career Consulting...?

Is today's meeting about house-related...?

No. The truth is, I have something private
to speak with you about.

Private?

At your current place of employment,
are you fulfilled?

Yes.
I feel as if it's a job worth doing.

Then, how are your relationships
with your employees?

Employee relationships?

Awawawa...awesome!

Actually, I have a freshwater one
of my own.

Really? I wanna see!!

I love fish!

Personally, I like meat more than fish.

That's dangerous!!

Over there, over there!!

I didn't know they had that here!

I gotta try it!

Are you alright?

Yeah...now, that is.

Here you go.

You haven't been to a place like
this before?

Maybe not in about 28 years.

28 years?!

Well, you had fun, didn't you?

Sure...

I come here a lot.

Maybe I'll come again sometime.

Is that so?

Actually, I've decided that I'm
getting married to my ex.

Is that so?

Ehh?

Didn't you say earlier that you
broke up with him?

Yep.

But...ever since I did, I've been
feeling lonely, so I gave him a call.

And, we talked for a while, and he promised
not to be unfaithful or violent anymore.

And can you trust that promise?

Nope.

But, that's the first time he's
made such a promise.

If we get married, I feel like he'll
calm down a bit.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Coming-of-age celebration, huh?

Brings back memories.

But it was a lot to deal with!

That one part...was so scary!

Hey there!

Hi.

Hey. Don't you think...
...maybe our ages are too far apart?

Age has nothing to do with it!

Besides, I still have enough confidence that
I won't lose to younger guys.

Trust me, I'll show you.

See?
This is just for you.

Awesome!

It's so hard!

After this, what do you say I give
you an extensive tour of my muscles?

Hmm...makes it seem like you
do exercise just for THAT!

Well, why else would I have them?

Oh, you...

You have a cold.

You fell asleep with the cooler on
again, didn't you?

Yeah. I drank some sake, and
fell asleep on the couch.

Did you at least dream about your girlfriend?

Girlfriend?

What do you mean?

Your young girlfriend.

She's just an acquaintance of mine.

Didn't you tell me she was your girlfriend?!

Did not.

Did too!

That's just your own assumption.

I didn't say a single word.

Ohhhh...this person....!!

What are you mad about?

Well, because I agreed to go to the miai
on Sunday, now didn't I?

And...that has what to do with me?

Absolutely nothing.

Exactly.

Eh?
It was a lie all along?

Yeah, doesn't that piss you off?

Man...I knew it from the very start.

Like such a pretty girl would
be with Kuwano-san.

Plus, I already called my father and
agreed to do the miai!

Eh? But does that have
anything to do with it?

No.

Wait, yes it does!

Kuwano-san was boasting about having
such a young girlfriend, so I couldn't take it!

Just like me and the group date.

What should I do?

Why do you think we're so affected
by what Kuwano-san does, anyway?

That's my line!

Uncle, is everything going well
with your girlfriend?

Listen here, your Uncle doesn't
have anything like that.

But actually, he does!

Surely you jest!

No, really, he does.

Eh?
You didn't tell me!

Because I don't.

I just told the kid a lie.

Then...who WAS that girl?

What?

But I really thought you were her boyfriend...

What is going on?

PAPA!

So, about you entering the home...

I still intend to!

Don't you ever feel like living
together with the married couple?

You know, they're probably thinking
about it.

Keiko has become the daughter-
in-law of the Nakagawa family.

Me going there too would just
make things awkward.

Oh, is that how it is?

However, if you get married,
and your bride is smart and kind,

and then say to me "Please come and
live with us anytime," then...

maybe I suppose I might think about it.

Well, forget that.

Trust me, I won't get my
expectations up.

Sorry for the wait.

Earlier, did you cook this France-style?

Yes, I did.

Thank you.

Miai, huh?

That's right, she did have the miai today.

I wonder if he asked her,
"What are your interests?" yet.

What are your interests?

Interests?

Ah...so you are asked that at miai,
after all.

This is your first?

Yes.

I wonder what number this is for me...

I guess I'm really...no good.

Once you do so many, you begin
to learn to accept that you're really a loser.

I apologize.

Eh? I didn't mean for you to...

The truth is...

All I really want to fall in love.

Not just to get married.

I want to fall in love,

and then marry.

At this age...do you find that strange?

No.

Please, do your best.

I will.

Yes?

Kuwano-san?

Is something wrong?

There's something I wanted to ask you.

When exercising in the gym, is there a
certain correct time span you should rest for?

Who knows...

I'm not your instructor, so I don't
really know the details.

Exercising for an hour and then
resting for 15 minutes should be fine.

Got it.

By the way, wasn't your miai today?

Yes, I already went.

What's the silence about?

...no reason.

Anyway, how did it go?

Quite well, actually.

That so?

He's a very good person, and I
decided to meet him again.

Will you marry him?

That's a bit far ahead...

But..maybe...I might, after all.

Well, I'm glad for you.

Thank you.

Umm...

Well, bye.

Bye.

Good boy.

Er--one, two, three...

Hi there.

Were you and Ken doing something?

What, no.

See ya.

Ken-chan, let's go.

Ummm..

Yes?

There's something I want to tell you.

Ahh, Michiru-chan?

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

For what?

You're getting married!

No!

Eh? But Kuwano-san said..

He lied to me about having a girlfriend,
so I had to take revenge.

Eh? But he seriously believes
you're getting married!

Really?

But, I never said I was getting married.

Just that the miai went well.

This is bad...

What is?

He asked me what would be good
for a wedding gift..

And I said, maybe a teacup set
from Wedgwood would be a good idea.

Ahhh...he did say he would buy me a
gift if I found someone.

Man, what a troublesome guy he is.

Michiru-chan,

Can you just call Kuwano-san, and tell
him it was all a big mistake?

Hey, that's something you have to
do yourself!

I think he already went to go buy it!

Teacup set, huh?

Mr. Customer.

Might you be searching for something?

I'm looking for two "Pushke" cups.

Right away.

Here they are.

Go right ahead.

- How do they look to you?
- Fine.

How much will they be?

12000 yen.

Excuse me, but please cancel this.

What the hell?

A lie?

Sorry.

But why?

The miai was a total failure.

You make no sense...

Why did you need to lie about such a thing?

Because you were the one talking
about your girlfriend!

I never said that.

You were so embarrassed that you
were turned down by a 45-year old?

That is absolutely not true!

There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

You're still at a fine age. There's no
helping it if you get turned down.

Well, maybe everyone has a bad time
at their first miai.

From here on, something good will
happen eventually.

I cannot believe you...

You're such an idiot! I wish I hadn't come!

Marriage, miai...
I don't care anymore!!

She's giving up?

Lately, Ken and Kuwano-san have
been acting suspicious!

Eh? What do you mean suspicious?

I can't quite describe it, but...
It's like they have some kind of secret.

Good luck.

I really can't understand Kuwano-san.

It's better not to think about him.
You'll just get exhausted.

OK.

You have one new message.

This is about our talk yesterday. I
hope you had a chance to look at our material.

I'm waiting for your reply.

Message has ended.

Well? Did you do it?

It looks great!

Just as I thought, when you're in love,
you really do great work!

What are you talking about?

What do you mean?

Hey, what is this?

Hmm, maybe I should just go myself.

Later.

Take care.