The Magicians (2015–…): Season 5, Episode 8 - Garden Variety Homicide - full transcript

‐ Previously
on "The Magicians"...

‐ I see blood on the walls.

I hear its voice.

It wants out.

‐ Have you tried
letting it out?

‐ Charlton?

‐ I once was possessed
by the Monster too.

When all the scary creatures
were pulled out,

I held on tight as I could
in your happy place.

‐ I found this
in Q's stuff at Brakebills.

‐ Professor?



I mean‐‐[clears throat]
Dean Adiyodi?

‐ Yeah, come in.

‐ What did you do
with Fogg 17?

‐ I call that one Psycho Fogg.

‐ Put him in the clean room.
He can't cast there, so.

‐ I can't do what I need to do

if I'm worried about
how it's gonna affect you.

I think we need to be done.

‐ I'm interviewing
for the botany job.

Hamish Bax.

‐ If I'm right, this should
adjust circumstances

in the entire greenhouse,

allowing us to cast.

‐ You risked everything
for us.



The least we can do
is to show you the truth.

‐ [whispering spell]

[snarling]

[child screaming]

[laughter]

‐ [screams playfully]

You can't outrun me!
[yells]

[branches snap]

[children yell, laugh]

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[children scream fearfully]

[dramatic music]

‐ Six children taken.
It's horrific.

‐ The Takers are swarming.
‐ It's my fault.

They're swarming because Seb
summoned them with a spell

using the gold I gave him.

I didn't know
what he was gonna do with it.

‐ The Takers‐‐
that's how he stays in power.

He summons them
and only he can fight them.

‐ Jesus.

I go away to my nephew's
bar mitzvah for one weekend

and everything gets fercockt.

What are we going to do?

‐ We gotta kill the Dark King.

What?
We're all thinking it.

‐ Eli's Torah portion was
all about the sanctity of life,

and I found it very moving.

So, can't we, I don't know,
peacefully overthrow him?

‐ No, we can't.

He's got a Centurion army.
I should know. I'm one of 'em.

‐ Also 300 years of propaganda

convincing everyone
they need him.

‐ Also‐also, 300 years?

We're talking a powerful,
immortal magician?

Doubt you can just walk up
and stab the guy.

‐ I've been researching.

The Dark King survived
seven assassination attempts

since he took our thrones.

‐ Must be big magic
keeping him alive.

We have to figure out
what it is.

Find out his weakness.

‐ You're on board
with this too?

‐ I mean, I'm here to stop
an apocalypse that happens

'cause an evil force invades
from a distant realm.

That sounds like the Takers.

‐ Then it's settled.

We kill the Dark King,

stop the Takers from pouring
in, stop the apocalypse.

Who's in?

‐ Just a couple of Q's, like

how are we gonna get
close enough to the Dark King

to learn his weakness
and assassinate him?

We're a cook, a maid,
a army grunt,

a Julia, and a‐‐

‐ Counselor/confidante.

You gotta admit, El,
you're perfectly placed.

Plus, he's always dismissing

his guards
when you come around.

‐ Why does me liking somebody
always end up with them dying?

‐ You should
tell your friends, Eliot.

‐ That I don't want
to save Fillory

because I caught feelings?

‐ I'm saying
they should know how you feel

before they try to make you
do something you regret.

‐ No, I'll just look selfish,
Charlton.

And I'll still end up having
to do it.

‐ Talking to somebody?
‐ Um...

myself and psyching myself up.

Fillory needs
the Dark King dead

and I am
the obvious inside man.

‐ You sound weird.
‐ You sound weird.

‐ Okay.

It's that Eliot.

‐ Uh, look,
I know I'm just the guy

who has to live inside your
tragic remembrances and all

but I truly don't understand

why you won't
at least tell her.

‐ Margo.

Look‐‐

I'm not sure I can
go through with this.

‐ El, you have a crush
on a boy who's bad for you.

Happens to all of us,

but how do we get crushes
out of our system?

‐ Lots of drinking, pining,

some detailed sex fantasies.

‐ No.

We bang them out.

‐ Okay, that's great,

except for the part where now
I have to murder the guy

I just hypothetically
slept with,

which is a thing
that shouldn't really happen

to a person more than once.

‐ El,

Fillory does need this,

so if you can't do it,
tell me now.

‐ I know he has to die,
but I don't hate him.

I don't.
I can't.

‐ I can't make
betraying Seb easier,

but let me help make
it simpler.

Say you didn't have
to kill him yourself.

‐ But I'm the one with access.
You just said it.

‐ You're also my best friend.

If you can find his weakness,

I'll find a way you don't have
to be the one to do it,

I promise.

‐ How?

‐ I have no fucking idea,

but I'll figure it out
for you, okay?

‐ Okay.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

‐ You took the thing,
the panel.

You can't just‐‐

this is mass floricide.

‐ Sorry, I had
to bring the panel here

so I could study it.

‐ Sorry, I can't hear you
over my plants dying.

‐ Is this
a western‐facing window?

‐ And how we have
a working classroom

because, you know, school
for magicians, not flowers.

‐ Took the botany job 'cause
you fixed up the greenhouse.

Should've known you'd just
turn around and wreck it.

Here, let me explain
how that feels.

‐ Hey!
[huffs]

Wait, don't touch that.

‐ Huh.

Thick venation
through the leaves,

and look at the asymmetry here.

‐ Wait, do you recognize it?

‐ Don't think it's terrestrial.

You'd need
a classification expert

with the right magical tools.

I know a taxonomist
that's been around,

you know, the multiverse.

‐ Well, do you think
we can get him to come here?

‐ Don't see why not.

‐ I'll tell you why not.

Your pal Raylan is on
the dean's "Do Not Admit" list.

‐ You're Acting Dean.
Can't you just‐‐

‐ Alice.

‐ He's a botanist.

‐ Yes!

Who visited a world
called Anansia,

home to some
highly infectious shit.

‐ He's still alive, isn't he?

Magical phytologists
do crazy shit,

but Ray's smart.

I doubt he's carrying
anything... well, dangerous.

‐ No offense,

but I'm gonna trust the file
with the red stamp.

‐ Look, the only place
on Earth right now

with magic stable enough
for Ray to examine it

is in our lab, thanks to me

installing the Circumstances
Control Panel for you.

‐ Don't you think figuring out
the deal with magic

is more important than
translating some page

you found about a plant?

‐ I found it in Quentin's desk.

This thing, it makes no sense

except it was important to Q,

so maybe it's important
we figure out what it is.

‐ If we test him thoroughly

and he's clean,

he can come.

[birds tweeting]

[broom sweeping]

‐ Uh‐‐hey, Fen.
‐ Yeah?

‐ Can I ask you something?
‐ Yeah.

‐ Um, lately I've just been
feeling a little bit off.

If we were on Earth,
I'd know what to do, but...

is there, like, a magic plant
or something out here

that I can pee on
to find out if I'm‐‐

‐ [raspy voice] Pregnant!

‐ Shit.

‐ Sorry.

God, I don't know
why I'm crying, just‐‐

[chuckling]
babies, ahh!

Um, do you know
what you're gonna do?

‐ Um, I'm not so sure.

‐ Do you want me
to send a bunny to Penny?

‐ Uh, Penny and I are just‐‐

we're sort of in a weird place.

‐ Oh.

‐ Actually, until I've had
some time to process,

I'd really appreciate
if we could keep this

between you and I, please?

‐ Of course.
I'm really good with secrets.

I've kept Eliot's fear of
butterflies secret for years.

Until now, shit!
[laughs]

Sorry, I won't do that
with you.

‐ Pregnant.

‐ Made macarons.

Mango yuzu and matcha.
Anyone?

‐ Why?

‐ For sustenance?
You love them.

‐ Nice try, Hoberman.

We're on mission,
so no distractions.

Out.

‐ Sorry for interrupting.
[chuckles]

‐ Can you believe that guy?

‐ What are you talking about?
You eat matcha everything.

‐ Those macarons were a trap.

Josh is an emotional ninja.

He comes at you with sweets,
and then you just

confess things.

‐ So you're still avoiding
that conversation you owe him

about leaving him in the past.

‐ That is not gonna
be a good talk,

so we're not gonna have it.

We have real things
to worry about,

like how you're gonna find out
the Dark King's secret.

‐ [sighs] And we can't
enjoy mango yuzu macarons

while we worry about that?

‐ Never take the food, Eliot.

‐ [sighs]

‐ Which gives me an idea.

‐ Seb, I brought you something.

[glass shatters]

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

‐ Six children.

Six children taken.

It's my fault.

If I'd have been there,
I could've stopped them.

Being a king‐‐

nobody knows
what it's really like.

‐ Seb...

do you think you could ever
step down?

‐ I have to be king.

‐ You don't have
to be anything.

I could help you.

‐ Eliot,
I appreciate your concern

more than I can say.

This is my burden.

I can't leave.

‐ Is it something we can fix?

A spell or a curse
of some kind.

‐ A choice

I made a long time ago,

tied to a conduit.

I thought it was the only way
I could save Fillory.

‐ A conduit?
What do you mean?

‐ It was a lifetime ago.

So many lifetimes ago.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

‐ We could just
get out of here.

We could
just go camping or, um...

♪ ♪

‐ I'm sorry.

I forgot myself.

‐ Look, Seb,
we can make this okay.

‐ Perhaps we shouldn't
see each other again.

‐ Sorry, Ray.

I gotta test you
for spine‐burrowing spiders.

You know the drill.
Chew, don't swallow.

‐ Your Primula scotica isobelae
is flourishing, Baxie.

‐ Spit.

‐ Everyone's panties untwisted?

‐ Because it turned purple?

‐ Purple is good,

uncontrollably shitting spiders
is bad.

‐ Ray, what do you make of‐‐

‐ [clears throat]
All right, Glasses.

I'm going to say a word
that you don't know.

Phyllotaxis.

‐ The arrangement of leaves
around a central stalk.

‐ Oh, you're one of those?

‐ Says the arrogant,
dime‐a‐dozen academic

with a plant fetish.

‐ But later when you recount
how you told me off,

I'm sure you'll punch it up
to be more of a dick chop.

Looks chaotic, but it's not.

If follows
a mathematical sequence.

The leaves of this plant

suggest that its origin
is exceptionally exotic.

‐ Or it is just
a made‐up drawing.

‐ To an amateur,

I could see that being
the easiest explanation, yes,

but no.
No, this has something.

Plants, they have a certain
integrity to them, hmm?

It's hard to fake that.

‐ Do you think
you can identify it?

‐ Only guy who can.
‐ Mm, joy.

‐ Would you be a sweetie

and get me a spectral‐reactive
phytometer, a Bertric lens,

and a pamplemousse LaCroix?

‐ [scoffs]
‐ Happy to.

‐ No.
If I stay, I might kill him.

[dark music]

♪ ♪

‐ The Dark King's immortal
because of a conduit?

Like, a vitality conduit?

‐ Do we know what that is?

‐ Guess not.

It's an old naturalist ritual.

Draw life force from a stalk
of corn to fight a summer cold,

that sort of thing.

‐ Seb's immortality
comes from corn?

‐ What about a tree?

He had a tattoo of one

with what looked like
maple leaves, only more jagged.

‐ Oh!

‐ You can just talk.

‐ Uh, that's a Blackwood tree.

‐ Okay, so what if we locate

the tree from Seb's
tattoo and chop it down?

Would that sever this conduit?

‐ In theory, yes.

He would be mortal
and 100% stab‐able.

‐ So how do we find this tree?

‐ Who has two thumbs and aced
their elective in dousing?

Probably safer
to send two of us, though.

Just in case something
goes wrong.

‐ Well, I'm
a former tree goddess, I'll go.

‐ No!

You can't go on a long hike
because you have the...

toe worms.

‐ Oh right, my toe worms.

‐ I thought that was just
a wooden toe thing.

‐ You thought wrong.

There's a lot of misinformation
about toe worms.

I have them.
You gonna make me take a hike?

‐ No.
No worm shame here.

Okay. How about you, Margo?
‐ [inhales through teeth]

‐ Could use
your Centurion skills

with all the Takers out there.

‐ If you do that,
it'll just leave me,

and I kind of have a problem.

After our last talk, Seb
told me to stay away from him,

so I don't really think

I'm in a position to, you know,

stab him.

‐ Yeah,
but what if he needs you?

You're his Magician advisor.

Fen and I will come up
with a problem

that takes two Magicians
to fix‐‐

assuming
our toes can handle it.

‐ It'll be touch‐and‐go.

‐ Okay, but what if
the Dark King can feel it

when we chop down the tree
and we have to act quickly?

I just don't know how quick
I can be, given everything.

‐ Don't worry.
We'll make it work.

‐ The fuck, Margo?
You promised.

‐ And I meant it.

You won't be the one
to kill Seb, exactly.

‐ Why are you being so weird
and tricky about this?

I thought I was clear.

Thank you.

‐ Wait.

‐ [groans quietly]

That is the worst mojito I have
ever had in my entire life.

‐ That's because not a mojito.

It's a potion.

I was gonna explain
before you got all grabby,

but I guess here we go.

Ugh.

Seb needs to die.
You can't do it, but I can.

So get ready to‐‐.

Ovary up, bitch.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

‐ Margo, did we just
"Freaky Friday?"

[music intensifies]

‐ Bax!

♪ ♪

‐ [groans]

‐ What did you do to him?

‐ He's fine, he's fine.

‐ Give me my page back.

‐ Look‐‐

I will buy it from you.

Name your price.

‐ Put it down now.

‐ [grunts and gasps]

‐ Holy shit.

‐ [stammers] I just pushed him.
It shouldn't have done that.

What the hell was that?

‐ We need to seal this room.

‐ Jesus, Bambi.
That was kind of nonconsensual.

‐ You drank
before I could explain.

I have been trying
to figure out to help you.

This is the only way
I could think of

to keep your hands clean
of Seb's murder.

‐ Except they literally
won't be.

Those are my hands.

‐ Look, you're the one
who can get close,

I'm the one
with the will to stab.

[sighs]

El, I love you,
but we have to do this thing.

Even you agree with that.

This is the best compromise
I could come up with.

So listen up‐‐
this spell's got

a little quirk
you should probably know about.

Tell anyone we've swapped and
we won't be able to swap back‐‐

permanently.

‐ That is good to know.

‐ Strange.

It's like you're Eliot
but not Eliot.

‐ Oh my God,
you're seeing Charlton.

‐ What kind of a name
is Charlton?

‐ Family name.
I never liked it.

‐ He lives in my head‐‐
your head.

‐ And why is there a man living
in your head?

‐ Charlton and I
were Monster victims together.

He stayed in my head when
you pulled the Monster out.

‐ I held on real tight.

‐ So if he's in your head,
why didn't he swap with you?

‐ I have no idea.

Honestly, this is all very new.

I'd have given you a heads‐up
if I'd known your plan.

‐ Listen.

Charlie,
stay the fuck out of my way.

‐ Hey, Bambi?

Before you go all...

Bambi, and scare him off,

why don't you maybe
let him help you?

‐ I've managed just fine

without a Tyler Durden
up my cooch, thanks.

‐ I'm just saying

this Seb situation
is pretty complicated.

You're not exactly a...

subtle relationship person.

‐ From what I've seen,
he's right.

‐ He's gotta ride a really
fine line with the Dark King.

He lost his love,
but he likes me,

so that feels like a betrayal.

‐ That is a lot of drama
to track.

‐ What about you and Josh?

Since I'll be going
on a long walk

to cut down a tree with him,

is there anything
I should know?

‐ Yeah.

If Josh tries to pull you
into any kind of talk,

just don't.

‐ [sighs]

[court members snoring]

‐ I was a little surprised
to get your message

after our last convo.

‐ I know things
got complicated.

The circumstances have changed.

Castle has been struck
with a strange sleeping curse.

‐ Is that what happened to‐‐

wow.

‐ We've kept it quiet.

Obviously,
it requires a magical solution,

but I'm afraid it's beyond me.

‐ I think I know this curse.

Good news, there's a cure.

Only prob: It takes a bit
of cooperative spellwork.

You need four hands to do it.

‐ I see.
‐ So you wanna solve this,

we're gonna have
to work together,

even if it makes uncomf
or whatevs.

‐ You sound strange.

‐ [clears throat]

I haven't been feeling myself.

Since our last talk.

‐ Yes.

Let us work together
to solve this curious malady,

for the good of Fillory.

‐ That could've gone smoother.

[soft, dynamic music]

♪ ♪

‐ Sleeping pollen
worked like a charm.

Or a curse, I guess.

Oh, Umber's balls.

Margo just keeps leaving
her uniform lying around.

Makes me feel like a maid.

Right.

Julia, let me take over.
Rest is good for the baby.

‐ Not a baby.
Still baking.

‐ But it'll become a baby.

You do know
how this works, right?

‐ [exhales deeply]
Look, Fen,

I just want to live my life

without this defining
every aspect of it, you get me?

‐ Okay, well,
if that's the truth

then why haven't you
done something about it?

It's not a hard procedure,
not even in Fillory.

‐ You think I should abort it?

‐ I'm saying
you should make a choice.

You're letting something
into your life

that you can't control and in
lots of ways will control you.

It'll make you happy,

or devastate you.

‐ Yeah.

Look,
I've been pregnant before,

and it was really bad.

And I knew this time
if I told everyone about it,

they'd get worried
and overprotective

and I just wanted to take one
of the next nine months

to feel like maybe this time

it wouldn't be so terrible,
you know?

‐ Nine months?
What are you talking about?

It's Red Monkey Month.

‐ Red Monkey what?

‐ Everything goes faster
in Red Monkey Month.

Healing, crop growth,

weirdly, not monkeys.

‐ I'm sorry,
are you saying that

my pregnancy
is going to be sped up?

‐ Julia, it already is.

As long as you stay in Fillory.

‐ Oh, Jesus Christ.

‐ [breathes deeply]

‐ Get the fuck away from me.

‐ What's wrong?

‐ I thought I saw a butterfly.

You never know
where they're gonna go next.

‐ Lavender rose macaron?
I know they're your favorite.

‐ I'd better not.

‐ Margo, it's a snack,
not a trap.

‐ You're a really good baker.

Also taller from this POV.

‐ I learned
to dial in that recipe

while I was stuck in the past.

Fen had her knives,

I had baking.

‐ Oh, yeah.

That must've been tough
for you both.

‐ It was.

I mean‐‐sorry,
I didn't mean to bring it up.

We don't have to talk about it.

‐ Okay.
How much further, you think?

‐ It's just
we thought we lost you guys,

and it was a scary time, so...

‐ So we must be
getting near Seb's tree, huh?

‐ Are we really
not gonna do this?

Look, I'd be lying
if I said it didn't hurt

when you wanted
to abandon me in the past,

but I know it wasn't about me.
[chuckles]

Still, Margo, I have to ask.

Do you wanna break up?

I mean, are we even
a thing that can be broken up?

‐ I‐‐

what do you think?

‐ Sometimes I feel like
that's what you want.

Look, when we got together,
I said I wasn't into games,

and do you remember
what you said?

‐ Oh.

‐ You said, "Fuck games."
[chuckles]

‐ That does sound like me.

‐ I can accept it's over
if you just say the words.

‐ Josh, I wanna talk.

I really do, but I can't.

Except to say

that maybe I need
a little more time

to forgive myself.

‐ Oh.
Uh, really?

‐ Yes!

Because I've realized

that deciding to leave you
in the past was a mistake‐‐

a big one.

And now I need
to earn your forgiveness,

which may take a while,

so we can kind of
keep things status quo

in the meantime.

‐ I‐‐

sure, sure.

‐ Great.

Now, which way to the tree?

‐ Uh...

‐ I think Ray
was hosting a symbiote.

‐ He was possessed?
‐ Not possessed.

It's rare, but a few
fungus species have been known

to join consciousness
with other creatures.

You're still you, you just
share brainpower, thoughts.

‐ And then you explode.

‐ Well, I'm not a mushroom guy,

but I think that's because.

Ray merged with the fungus
a long, long time ago.

‐ Is he‐‐[stutters]
shit, are they dead?

‐ Ray is,

but those particles that came
out of him were fungal spores.

They'll want a new host body.

‐ I sealed them inside the lab,

but it might be a good idea
to close the air vents.

‐ Yeah, hi.
New to this job.

I have no idea how
to control the school vents.

We need to evacuate.

Knew I should've trusted
my instincts.

Hey, hey!
There's a, um‐‐

‐ Eukaryotic photosymbiont.

‐ Yeah, there's a monster
on the loose.

Head to the Physical Kids'
Cottage to be quarantined now.

‐ Alice, give us
the plant page‐‐

‐ Then we'll stop spreading.

[foreboding music]

‐ Oh, oh.
Okay!

♪ ♪

‐ New theory: The fungus can
spread to multiple hosts.

This might be a zombie plague
situation.

‐ What?
‐ What?

[all scream]

[door thuds]

‐ I say this is the man
who blew up my Brakebills.

You're the worst goddamn dean
we've ever had.

‐ Yeah, I'm not here
for a lecture from my prisoner.

Just hiding from spores.

‐ Oh, so you remember

that this room
is hermetically sealed,

but not to consult
the "Do Not Admit" list?

‐ I did everything a dean
is supposed to do.

‐ A dean is supposed
to have strong instincts,

like knowing anyone
who'd visit Anansia

is also insane enough
to visit other worlds

with infections
for which we cannot test.

‐ DO you want to help or what?
‐ Yes.

I can provide a solution‐‐

in exchange for my release.

‐ How do we know
you really have one?

‐ I developed a potion
with a Dr. Maria Pilkin.

You can check with her.

But‐‐

she died in this timeline.

‐ No deal.

We'll find our own way.

‐ You cannot save your students
without my help.

‐ See, in our timeline.

Pilkin's work was published
after her death,

so it's in our library.

‐ Gave away your leverage.

Thought a dean was supposed
to have strong instincts.

‐ I will get out of here,

and then I'll turn you
into lobsters

and eat you.

‐ Uh, okay.

[door shuts]

‐ Okay, the book we need
is right there.

‐ See any twitching?

‐ Just assume
they're all infected.

‐ And assume
they're all looking for us.

It's too risky for us
to go in together.

‐ I know where it is.
I'll go.

‐ Hey.

Remember, magic is
unpredictable outside the lab.

‐ So no phosphoromancy.
[inhales deeply]

Good thing I have experience

being invisible
from high school.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[gasps]

Ooh, ooh.

‐ [grunts]

‐ You got us the book
and a guinea pig.

Nice work.

‐ It said the potion
should work fast.

‐ [gulps]

[coughs]

‐ Penny.

‐ Oh, shit.

‐ Penny.

‐ Just give up the page, Alice.

[music intensifies]

♪ ♪

‐ [snoring]

‐ [snoring]

‐ Almost ready.

‐ Great.

‐ Uh...

Margo, you have
to draw this out.

The second they wake,
Seb will dismiss you.

‐ No shit, Sherlock.

This is all part of my plan
to win him over.

‐ How is finishing the ritual

early and in silence
part of your plan?

‐ [scoffs] Because I taught it
to him wrong,

so to fix it, I'm gonna have
to get real close and personal.

‐ [scoffs]
‐ Eliot?

Something in the middle section
doesn't feeling right.

The energies aren't moving
as they should.

‐ Hmm.

I can walk you through it.

Wait.

That's not right.

Here.

‐ We should keep our distance.

It will make things easier.

‐ Right.

Of course.

‐ If you need my help,
just ask.

‐ Jesus' clits.

I know how to work a guy,
Charlton.

‐ Yes.
You do, Margo.

As Eliot, you're coming on
too strong.

Seb likes
Eliot's vulnerability.

Don't be pushy,
just open up.

He and Eliot are close because
of the losses they share.

‐ [clears throat]

I can show you the rest
if you're ready.

But first,
I think I owe you an apology.

‐ Eliot, that's not necessary.
‐ It's just‐‐

I haven't felt this way
in a really long time.

I think the fact that we both‐‐

it just felt safe with you,
you know?

‐ On that mountain
we both felt it.

There's nothing wrong
with wanting more.

I wish I could give you more,
but I just can't.

I must put Fillory first,
even if it means I suffer.

I do hope you understand that.

‐ I get it.

It's hard to be king.

People don't know
what you go through.

Now let me show you how
to do that spell correctly.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

‐ Are we close to the tree?

I don't mean to rush.
You're the expert.

‐ Okay, that's it.

I'm not buying it.

‐ Not buying what?
‐ Any of this.

‐ Emotional,
agreeable, patient?

You're not Margo.

‐ Who else would I be?

‐ This is Fillory.
I don't know.

You could be a hallucination,
or‐‐or a shapeshifter,

or an agent of the Dark King.

‐ But I'm not.
Josh, I'm‐‐

shit.

I wish I could explain.

‐ Oh, well, until you do,
I'm not taking you to the tree.

Got it?

‐ The antifungal
kind of worked.

We got the spores out of him.

‐ Yeah, and into Penny.

‐ It must be the fungus'
networking ability.

Long as it's alive
in other hosts,

it can still direct its spores
into whoever it wants.

‐ So why not into us?
We were right there.

‐ Penny was closer?

‐ I thought you were an expert.

‐ I told you
this isn't my area.

At this point, my best advice?
Give the fungus what it wants.

‐ No.

Ever since I found this page
I knew it was important.

If the fungus wants it,
I was right.

I have to know what it means.

‐ Is it worth dying over?

Is that what Quentin
would want?

For you to die, too?

‐ Back the fuck off, botanist.

‐ Sorry.
Maybe I overstepped.

It's just...

Remember that plant I put
on the windowsill in the lab?

‐ Yeah, you only screamed
at me about it.

‐ Scottish primrose.

It's this
fragile little flower.

Even grass can kill it,

so it has to survive on cliff
walls where nothing else can.

It was my wife Isobel's
favorite.

‐ Primula scotica isobelae.
You named it after her?

‐ You remembered the name.

She loved that stupid flower.

Kept it alive
without any spellwork.

Huge point of pride.

But I thought it was just
kind of silly.

Then she died,
so now I keep it alive.

If it's anything like that,

I get why you'd
wanna keep that page.

‐ How long ago?

‐ Five years.
You?

‐ A lot less.

So how long until, you know,
it feels

less like it's eating
all of you?

‐ I'm kind of still waiting.

‐ I just feel like I'm gonna be

this walking whatever‐I‐am
forever.

‐ I did too.

It starts like
this tight ball in your chest,

but over time, it gets lighter

because it just kind of spreads
into the rest of you.

‐ It's like your own personal
symbiote.

‐ [chuckles]
Yeah, kind of.

Except not murderous
and weirdly paper‐focused.

Just, uh...

sad.

‐ Yeah.

‐ Make it to a year.

It'll still suck,
but it gets quieter.

I promise.

‐ Shit.

I know what to do.

[indistinct chatter]

‐ Damn.

I actually felt bad for him,
for what he's been through.

‐ He's a nice man,
but an evil king.

‐ It doesn't make sense.

He seems kind.

He seems sad.

Why the fuck would he summon
those monsters into Fillory?

‐ Eliot.

I think we're finished.
It worked.

Before you go,
perhaps we should talk?

‐ I don't know
why he summoned them,

but I don't think we're gonna
get another chance at this.

‐ Not as easy as it looks,
is it?

‐ Josh, please.

Eliot's waiting for the signal.

If we don't chop down the tree,
he's screwed.

We're screwed!

‐ You said
you wish you could explain.

That means there's something
to explain, so explain.

‐ So you've been wanting
to talk to me for weeks

about what happened between us,
but when I finally apologize

you accuse me
of being possessed.

‐ Right, apologize.

Does that sound like Margo
to you?

‐ Fine!

Maybe I was saying
what you wanted to hear,

'cause you never let up.

You keep trying to get me
to talk about something

I don't wanna talk about.

‐ Okay.
Fine, I get that.

‐ You wanna know the truth?

You picked someone
who will never put your first.

There's no fixing Margo‐‐
I mean me,

'cause chances are
if I had to relive it,

I'd make the same decision.

So stop asking me
to apologize for something

I don't feel sorry about.

‐ Now you sound like you.

‐ Not that I won't
feel differently tomorrow.

‐ No, you won't.
You're very clear.

The Conduit Tree's
that one over there.

Cut it down.

I'll give Eliot
the green light.

‐ Oh, God.

‐ I'm fine here.

Go help the others
search the castle

for any remaining victims
of the sleeping curse.

[door closes]

What you said last night‐‐

did you mean it?

‐ Um...

‐ Oh, right.

Uh, Eliot asked Seb if he'd
consider giving up the throne.

He even offered to help him,
but Seb said no.

‐ Eliot, are you all right?

‐ Yes, sorry.

Of course I meant it.

‐ Because I've been thinking.

‐ Margo, the candles.
That's the signal.

They cut down
Seb's tree.

‐ Eliot?
‐ It's now or never.

‐ Eliot should be done by now.

‐ Well, they're in a hurry.
‐ Gods, we're in trouble.

Here, take my extra knife.

‐ All the knives in the world

won't get us past
the Centurions.

‐ Do you have a better plan?

‐ Are you under a hex?
A witch's spell?

What's going on?

‐ I can explain.

Just‐‐there will be
serious consequences if I do.

‐ No, you can't tell him.

Margo,
you'll be stuck in there.

‐ There will be
serious consequences

if you don't explain.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

‐ [exhales slowly]

[tense music]

[footsteps approaching]

‐ You asked and I'm here.

So‐‐

you gonna give up the page
or make us spore you, too?

‐ I'll give it to you.

If you tell me why you want it.

‐ It's an instruction manual.
‐ For what?

‐ The World Seed.

It's magical botanical
organism.

Legend is, the seed
is pure potential.

The right nurturing, it can
grow into almost everything‐‐

even an entire world.

‐ Well, if you want the page,

does that mean
you already have the seed?

‐ We're done talking.

[grunts softly]

Alice?

What are you doing to us?

‐ Me?

I'm just keeping you talking.

All that shared brainpower

and you never thought
to yourselves,

where's Bax?

‐ [grunts]

‐ I mean, you had us stumped
for a while.

It seemed like
if we got you out of one host

you'd just keep spreading
yourself to other ones,

but you didn't.

For some reason,
you were limiting yourself.

Some of your spores
didn't try to spread.

Bax wasn't sure why

because fungi
can typically grow and grow.

But you're also
a consciousness, like us.

And we have limits.

Try to juggle too much at once
and we're useless.

‐ It's a professor thing.
Just go with it.

‐ So I have Bax spreading you
too thin to affect your hosts

mentally or physically.

You won't be able
to control them anymore.

‐ You're killing me.

‐ No.

Don't worry, you'll be
a part of your host forever.

You're just getting quieter.

[eerie, soft whooshing]

‐ [gasps]

[breathing heavily]

This is
the worst fucking job ever.

‐ Penny, are you okay?

‐ Got your page.

‐ Did you know why
you wanted it?

‐ It's fading, but...

to sell.

There was this huge debt
to pay.

I don't know what for, but...

when The Couple came
to collect, we didn't‐‐

they didn't ask any questions.

‐ A couple of?

‐ No.
The Couple.

Weird name, but I remember
feeling scared shitless.

The Couple has power.
It has resources.

It's been looking for the
World Seed page a long time,

and they are not good people.

‐ And they know
I have what they want.

‐ I don't think that's gonna be

the last person or thing
to come after it.

The hell was Coldwater doing

with instructions
to something so powerful?

‐ Yeah.

I have no idea.

‐ Jesus Christ, El.
You had one job:

Don't blow up
my relationship with Josh.

And what did you do?

‐ I'm sorry.

There's no way
to avoid that conversation.

He's just
so goddamn persistent.

‐ Tell me about it.

By the by,

Charlton's gonna go hang out
in your beach memories

for a while.

Think the whole Seb thing
was hard on him.

‐ So um, what did
you and Seb talk about?

You know, before?

‐ Don't do this to yourself.

‐ I ended your relationship.

Seems like I deserve whatever
pain's coming my way.

‐ That wasn't your fault.

You were just dealing
with some shit I set up

way before you took over.

‐ So in summation,

we're both equally skilled at
destroying our own happiness?

‐ Yeah.

Well, at least we used
our powers for good?

‐ How fucked up is it
that I miss him?

‐ El, there's
nothing wrong with you.

He was hot and complicated.

Those are the ones
worth banging.

[inhales deeply] You've just
had some shitty luck

with boys so far,
that's all.

It doesn't mean
you don't deserve love

or that you won't ever find it.

‐ Well, at least I have
better luck with friends.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

‐ [gasps]