The Magicians (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 7 - The Side Effect - full transcript

on "The Magicians"...

Look, just go while you
still have the chance.

The Library controls the
levels of ambient magic

that flow through the pipes.

This one has a leak.

Well, what's my
birthright, you scaly shit?

It's the talking animals.

They've all been struck dumb.

So what is this?

I saved your fucking
life, bitch.

Margo, are you okay?

You're just a
brown-nose sweater boy

desperate to matter at all.

The other me, Sam, did whatever

she thought was right,
regardless of what

anybody else thought.

This contract initiates

our services in exchange
for... - "Unlimited manual

and magical labor"?

"Bound in service to the Library

up to and after my death"?

Penny, where are you?

I'm in the Underworld Library.

If you stay down here,

you've got an amazing
destiny ahead of you.

Uh, excuse me?

Mr. Adiyodi?

Come in.

Have a seat.

Did I do something wrong?

I called you in to talk
about Matilda Fremont.

You shelved her
book yesterday under

"Disappointing Prodigies"?

Oh, right.

Uh, mastered the flute at seven

but became a mediocre poet.


Did you read her brother's book?

She saved his life...
Pulled him out

of a self-destructive spiral,

and he went on to become
one of the world's

greatest philanthropists.

I wouldn't call
that "unremarkable."

Uh, okay.

So is there section for, uh,

"Sisters of Generous Men"?

You've been in the
Underworld branch,

um, three weeks?

- Well...
- Yeah, when I died, all I cared about

was getting back up
there, and... and all this?

I didn't think it mattered...
Where a book goes,

who reads it.

- Those books I lent you,
- you get a chance to read them?

Of course.

Well, I skimmed.

How far did you get?

Alice, uh, opened a pipe,

accidentally helped blow
up the Modesto branch,

and Quentin played
Pictionary with a mummy.

Where would you file them?

Quentin and Alice...
"Star-Crossed Romances,"

or "Well-Meaning Failures."

What about the others?

"Side Characters in Epic Quests."

I'm a side character?
- Look, no offense.

It's just... Quentin's the
center of the whole thing.

He's the one that
knows everybody.

He's the one the little
British girl picked to save the world.

Or he's the one
that looks like you.

Not fair.

Todd looks like me.
He's not the center of shit.

But he could be.

All I'm saying is you
think you've seen stories

like this before,
so you can guess

what's going to happen...
who's important and who isn't.

But that's because you
are trapped in your POV.

You have a classic case
of White Male Protagonism,

Derek, and a Librarian
simply can't have that.

But that's why these
books are so important.

They're such a gift.

They... they can allow you

to see other points of view.

And once you start seeing that,

you'll find that the story

doesn't end the way you
think, and the most

important characters
aren't who you expect.

Remember back before
all the stuff in Modesto

when Alice first escaped
from the Library?

Oh, dear.

I'm telling you,
I saw a reindeer-driven sleigh

fly away.

Alice and Nick are gone.

This is not funny.

I'm not laughing... now.

I mean...
Lets discuss next steps.

Mm, we should wait for Everett.

He'll know how to... -
Oh, he'll agree with me

when I say that Alice
Quinn was your project.

Holding her here was a mistake.

We aren't jailers.

What would you have done?

Alice broke her deal with us.

She tried to turn
off all of magic.

That has to have consequences.

Our mission is to preserve

the knowledge of magic.

Alice Quinn is an
existential threat

to that knowledge.

Are you suggesting that

we should have killed her...
And Santa Claus?

I'm so sorry.

It's not at all funny.

Do you agree with Cyrus?

I see.

I admit,
I took a personal interest

in Alice's rehabilitation.

Perhaps it biased me.

You are correct.

We are not jailers.

Nor are we killers.

So I'll ask again... what
would you have us do?

"Protect the flame of knowledge

no matter the cost."

I believe that's how
the old motto goes.


Sorry I was delayed.

The renovation of
our Rome branch

ran into some difficulties.

Have you been briefed on Alice?

I agree with Zelda.

We are an order of
scholars, not assassins.

So what is the
scholarly solution?

Read their books.

Learn their intentions.

We agreed not to breach
privacy unless there was

no other option.

What's the other option?

Uh, okay.

Well, Nick's book has been taken

and presumably destroyed,
but Alice's is still

in the Revision Room
having the ending put in.

Which will take days,

and if she and Nick split
up, we'll lose them.

There might be another way.

Tracking devices.

they'll go somewhere for help.

There isn't enough ambient
to keep either of them

happy long,

so disperse a
Searcher widely and...

Disperse to whom, though?

I find it unlikely
that Alice or Nick

will run into the hands of
card-carrying Magicians.

They'll go underground.


Where the hedge witches are.

And the hedge
witches don't trust us.

We'll never get them to accept...

If we do what I'm
thinking, they'll take them

without ever knowing.

Fine. Trackers.

And once Alice's book is
back, if we can verify

she's no longer a threat,
there'd be no need

for further corrective action.


All in favor?


You seem troubled.

Thank you, but I'm fine.

I understand.

I see something of
Harriet in Alice, too.

I wish you'd given
yourself some real time

to grieve your daughter.

Leave of absence, even.

No, I'm...

Uh, I'm sorry.


I thought I heard something.

Excuse me, I have a meeting.

So you're telling me
the Head Librarian,

a member of the Governing
Council of the Order,

is having a nervous breakdown?

Trust me,
just 'cause she's seeing shit

that no one else sees
doesn't mean it isn't

really there.

- Uh, then we got to get
- a message to this Everett guy.

He's in charge, right?


What do you mean?

There's a dragon that
connects the Underworld

to the Neitherlands.

We just take a note,
and we shove it up his...

Not how that works.

Look, being down here...
You mean being dead?

It gives you a new perspective.

There's shit we know
is going to happen

that people up there would
give anything to stop.

But we can see the
bigger picture.

It's not our job
to stop the living

from doing what they do.

It's our job to appreciate
their full life.

We see but do not intervene...

for a lot of good reasons.

I can see this is
wigging you out.

Let's start with an easier one.

Well, what's my
Birthright, you scaly shit?

I read this one last week.

High King of Fillory gets mad

at, uh, the alpaca
lady, uh, to bring back

the talking animals' voices.

You read Margo's story.

This one is not about her.

Well, what's my
Birthright, you scaly shit?

Oh, hi, there.

Do you have a message, or...?


Okay, it was a dream.

Just keep reading.

Well, what's my
Birthright, you scaly shit?

It's the talking animals.

They've all been struck dumb.

Well, shit.

All right, Fen,
I think I will do a ritual.

Earth specialty... the
Sleep of Solitude.

I pop an Ambien, everyone

leaves me alone till noon.

That'll be perfect.

Rafe, last night I
had the strangest dream.

There were these bunnies
with their throats...

You know what?

I think I projected the
talking animals going mute.

Okay, I think I'm
starting to get the point

of these stories.

All women are just one
emotional crisis away

from a psychotic break.

Jesus, no.

Whoa, you can't say
stuff like that anymore.

What, in the afterlife?


Do you remember what Kady
was doing at this time?

Didn't she just
kind of peace out

after the Library
Dewey coin heist?

Not exactly.

See, while the others
were busy bleeding a stone

to stop the monster, Kady...

was busy doing something else.

Iris could have at least left us

a stone-bleeding
how-to or something.

I hear what you're saying, Q.


Don't mind me.

Uh, I'll go check
those other books.

The books in, uh,
Marina's library,

'cause, uh, yep,
that's got to be where they are.


Haven't seen you in a while.

There was some
stuff I had to do.

Stuff I should be worried about?

I'm clean.


Who's this?

Five weeks ago,
her dad picked her up

from school and disappeared...

Custody fight with her mom.

Locator spell and a few
bruised knuckles later,

she's home.

"Five weeks ago"

as in when you were
"Detective Sam Cunningham"?

You're solving her
old case files?

All right, look...
you lived as Kim for months.

The moment you got your memory
back, you just...

You dropped it like
it never happened.

I-I can't.

I can't go back to
being a sidekick.

- You're not a sidekick.
- Come on.

I'm only in this group
at all because of Penny.

That's not true.

You and me... - We're
friends, yeah.

And then we weren't,
and now we're what...

I don't know,
whatever you call it when...

you have a lot of
history that made you

two very different people.

I need my own path, Jules.

I want my life to feel
like it's about me.

No, I get that.

And I am all for
your personal growth.

It's just that we're... you
know, we're kind of

under the gun here.

You're under my roof,

hidden from the McAllistairs

and the Library because I took

this place from Marina
when everyone else wanted

to hand her nuclear
launch codes.

Look, I'll help, of course...

when I can, in my way.

But for now...
Sam left a few loose ends

I need to tie up.

You're not my Postmate.

I am the Baba Yaga.

You live on my property
under my protection,

and your rent is due.

Okay, well,
this isn't exactly my place.

Well, you're here now,

and the list is clearly
posted on the premises.

Wait, Marina's weird
grocery list on the fridge?

It is not weird.

You are weird.

You reek of nondairy
creamer and despair.

Okay, look,
I don't have whatever it is

that you're looking for.

One Webster's Weeping Healer,

one Totem of the Plump Pelican,

and one Bag of Holding.

Pay what is owed
in two days' time

or wish I boiled you alive.

The wench will explain.


Holy shit, you have to pay her.

- "Her"?
- You mean you.

what the fuck is happening?

I'm Bailey.

Sorry about the Baba Yaga.

She can be a little...
The Baba's the spirit

of a vengeful Slavic witch
I channel when I need

to collect rent or deal
with a chatty Uber driver.

So if you don't want
to be her next meal,

you should give
her what she wants.

Ooh, stressful.

Where am I supposed
to find... Wait a minute.

Is the... The Totem
of the Plump Pelican.

Wait, this thing?

Oh, yeah, that's it.


Marina must have found it.

I just thought it was
some ugly paperweight.

Shh, don't insult it.

It reacts.

So two more to go.

Oh, shit.

She's coming back.

Pay me what is owed,

or I will boil your marrow into
soup, peasant.

See you Thursday.

I'm looking for a
guy called "Lovelady."

Heard he has office hours here.

What is this?

Some kind of flashlight spell?


- Jesus.
- Whoa!


What the hell was that?

I never want to see the
floor of a bar that bright.


Wait, you're Lovelady?

Oh, shit.


It's been a while.

Last time I saw you,
you were with Marina.


- We parted ways.
- It was mutual.

Mm, I'm sure.

So "Lovelady," huh?

It's a title.

When one guy's done with
it, he passes it on

to the next guy, kind of like

"Dread Pirate Roberts"

or "Senator."

That's not how Senators work.


The guy who was "Lovelady
before me is an Earl

with a private island.

People respect the
shit out of me.

It's a great sign when

you have to tell people that.

Did you come here
looking for my help or...?


Here's a list.

I heard you can find things.

Interesting stuff.


Landlord issue.

Have you considered moving?

The place has special features.

It just turns out it's
courtesy of a-a witch...

Uh, Baba-something.

You mean the Baba Yaga?

You know her?

Just by reputation.

Hey, if I help you,
in lieu of my usual fee,

I want you to introduce me.

Not sure she's your type.

She's got great taste.

This could open up a
whole new avenue for me.

Yeah, fine, whatever.

You'll help?

One more thing.

Um, do you still see Julia?

Don't be a creep, Pete.

Where are we going?

Black Market.

So Kady's moved on.

I mean, not with Pete, just...

I know what you mean,
and I'm happy for her.

You don't look happy.

So is there some
sort of connection

I'm supposed to be
seeing between Kady,

Zelda, Fen... - You'll see.

Alice's book had been revised,

but Alice had
changed the ending.


Alice feels magic has caused her

nothing but trouble.

She goes on to live out
an entirely civilian life

in Portland.

She just got a job
at a craft brewery,

and a Shih Tzu.

You look a little surprised.

Does that not sound like her?

The choice is unexpected, but...

wouldn't be the first time

she walked away from magic.

Great, then.

Nick is still at large,
so we'll keep our trackers

in circulation,
but I think we can close

the book on Alice Quinn.

It's funny... I'd always thought

she was a cat person.

Never seen her before.


She would be a new hire.

We're not hiring right now.

In fact,
we've had to let some people go.

Designer hops are
getting expensive.


Alice is inside,
as her book said.


Good riddance, book tart.

Let's go get some doughnuts.

This is the Black Market?

It's so... - Normal?

- Yeah.
- Exactly.

You'd be surprised what
you can find in here.

Even Deweys.

- Wait, I thought you had to
- have a Library card for that?

Yeah, well,
the Library should know better

than to give
unlimited black cards

to rich druggie dickbags
that trade them in

for lap dances.

Oh, so you give lap dances, huh?


Okay, so that is Whitley.

If she does not have
a Bag of Holding,

she'll have a line on one.

you're not gonna introduce me?

I may have had sex with her

and never called her again.


Hey, I'm looking for
a Bag of Holding...

whatever that is.

- It's a "Doctor Who"
- kind of thing.

A bag that's bigger
on the inside.

Actually, it's a D&D thing.

Yeah, I don't do nerd shit.

Expensive taste for
someone who doesn't know

what they're asking for.

I can pay.

Charisma Cufflinks...
for a Bag of Holding?

Come back when you're serious.

Kraken tentacles...
Helps build muscle.

I'm paleo.

Cavemen didn't eat kraken,
so I don't eat kraken.

What'll you give me for these?

Aleister Crowley's ashes.

- Mm-hmm.
- Not bad.

Worth a Bag of Holding?


What the hell, Pete?

I searched the whole
goddamn market for you.

Kady, great news.

I found Gordy.

Gordy's my, um... He's great.

Hi, Kaitlin.


You were supposed to be
looking for the Webster's

Weeping Whatever,
not getting wasted.

¿Por qué no los dos, mamacita?

I'll have you know
Gordy is a doctor.

- Well...
- For animals.

You know, for dogs and cats.

Don't sell yourself
short, all right?

- That's a real doctor.
- Ok... shh, shh, shh.

Not helpful.

Yes, helpful,
because Gordy knows

where to get that thing
that you're looking for.

The thing. The creepy doll

that cries healing tears.

Webster's Weeping Healer.

Got a buddy,
Duke... exotic-bird guy.

So his cockatoo caught bumblefoot...
Okay, shh.

Duke has the doll?

Well, yeah.

Okay, where can I find him?


Anybody there?

I'm guessing no one's home.

Well, that explains it.

No sign of blunt-force trauma

or defensive wounds.

Doesn't look like foul play.

Okay, Mariska Hargitay.

Just find the doll, will you?

No, bad touch!

Get off!

God, I hate this place.

But... found the doll.


Healing tears or no,
I would not keep this thing

in my house.

Really, Pete?

- What?
- He's not using it.

You're disgusting.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Jesus, Fen!

Why the hell are you
lurking in a dark pantry?

Waiting for you.

- Your soufflé fell.
- You're gonna bake a new one.

- How did you...
- Dreamt it.

You're worried Margo is gonna

blow talks with Lady Pike.

again with the alpaca lady?


Uh, some of these
pages are out of order.

Just keep reading.

But really,
you're worried that you and she have

a true connection and
you're going to screw it up,

so you're stress-baking.

Okay, ouch.

And that's a weirdly
specific and accurate dream.

I also dreamt of
dancing ears of corn,

and then the farmers
reported a surplus.

I dreamt about what
Tick really does

with all those peaches he
steals from the kitchen,

which is surprisingly not gross.

And they've all come true.

Prophetic dreams could
mean a lot of things.

Uh, maybe you're a psychic

or someone cast some
kind of spell on you.

Or... or it's Fillory,
and maybe you just ate

some messed-up fruit.

You think someone
did this to me?

If you're worried,
next time it happens

just poke around
the dream a little.

Poke with what?

A knife?

- No.
- No knives.

Lucid dreaming.

They teach it first
semester at Brakebills.

The second you realize
you're dreaming,

you can take control
of your dream.

You don't even need
magic to do it.

Just close your eyes...
Breathe, and try to push

your finger through
your other hand.

Everything freezes.

Anything not
supposed to be there,

that's when you'll
be able to tell.

Alice wasn't where
her book said she'd be.

I suspect she sabotaged it.

And now I've lied
to my colleagues.

If I don't find her
before they find out...

Sounds like a personal problem.

Henry, please.

I'm trusting you.

What you mean is that you trust

that I won't report this
because it'd be worse

for Alice.

We both want to spare her that.

If you could just
tell me where she is...

I comply with every request...

All your red tape and
your triplicate bullshit.

This is your mess.

Do not drag me into it.


I don't think an
ancient Slavic witch

is gonna want a mojito.

Right, um...
something vodka-based?

Are you actually nervous?

Baba Yaga's a really big deal

in my line of work, and...
First impressions...

What was I saying?

Pete, your arm.

Ah... that molest-y
hand gave me the clap.

Oh, shit.

Looks like a bad
spell interaction.

- Something's clashing with one
- of his personal enchantments.

Which personal enchantment?

- I don't know.
- They're personal.

- Hedge spells, you know,
- they're off the street at best.

They got a lot of rough edges.

- There's really no telling
- if they'll play nice together

Until, well, they don't.

Whatever killed
Duke is killing him.

So help him,
or I break your jaw.

Look, the only human
diagnostic spell I know

costs magic, and I'm a little

Dewey-light at the mo...
Please don't break my jaw.


Pete has one he took
off your friend Duke.

Wait. Wait, you said

something's clashing with Pete.


Like what?

Like a cursed object.

I once treated a
horse for strangles.

Turns out jockey's riding
crop interacted badly

with a hoof-protection
spell, so...

Does Pete carry a riding crop?

Okay, maybe just look at this.


Don't touch that shit.

Not really planning to
now that you licked it.

- What?
- It's more accurate than lenses.

You can taste cobalt.

It's used in most
tracking spells.

- "Tracking spells"?
- Mm-hmm.

I put them on pets.

This one tastes like a
real expensive Searcher.

You hold it long enough,
it kind of sends out

a signal to whoever cast it.

Wait, a-a signal to wh... who?


I was thinking more
like who makes Deweys.

- The Library.
- Oh, yeah.

That makes more sense.

Who's the Library looking for?

Oh, I can think of a few people.

Wait, how many hedges have

these personal enchantments?

Pretty much everybody.


Take off all of Pete's, now.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna warn everybody.

Wait a second.

So the Library's responsible

for hedge witches dying?

but they don't know that yet.

Spoiler alert.

- Zelda had some other things
- on her mind at the time.

Her dead daughter.

Wait, is she, like, down here?

I thought you
didn't like spoilers.

Look, I'm sorry you see dead
people, but that is

an incredibly stupid idea.

She's not dead.

Ghosts don't bleed.

I don't know how,
but she could be alive

stuck in there.

That's insane...
And impossible.

It's the Mirror Realm.

We don't know what's impossible.

It's not as complicated
as a mirror bridge.

- We just need to open a door
- to the place between mirrors.

Listen, Zelds,
if you told me you wanted

to finger-paint your blood
so you could take a walk

in the crazy dimension I would
say, "Free country."

But this is my blood.

I can't do this...
without your help.

Yes, I know that.

And I'm leaving.

She's my daughter.

who's older than you?

Our relationship is complicated.


You smashed the mirror.

You... trapped her there.

I was doing my job.

I can't...
Live with myself if I don't

find a way to help her.



I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?

Did you juice the beets?

Oh, I juiced the beets.

I told you I would
juice the beets.

Why wouldn't I juice the beets?

Don't make this about us.

Wait, did I miss something?

I thought Margo and
Josh were an unlikely

yet heartwarming thing.

No, this is after
the Lady Pike incident.

Margo called Josh a sweater boy.

Forget it.

Pay attention to Fen.

How's this shit work?

Pour it gently onto the
lizard, Your Majesty.

Jesus lizard-fucking Christ!

Does this feel like
a weird sort of dream

to any of you?

All right,
maybe I can control this.

Ember's balls.

This is a dream.

Okay, okay. Stop talking to

yourself and, uh, look around.


Who are you?

Wait, no!

Stop, please!

- Freeze!
- Freeze!

Hey, hey, stop!

- Freeze!
- Green Lady!

Hold up!

Hey, Green Lady, come back!

Umber's ass,
this is getting annoying.

Hey, wait!

Wait, I just want to talk!

Why am I having
these stupid dreams?

Oh, no.

The lizard.

You pour it gently onto the
lizard, Your Majesty.

- Wait, stop!
- It'll catch fire!

The fuck?

I saw the lizard blow up when Rafe...

What is she talking about?

Perhaps she's mad with grief

over the loss of King
Eliot, Your Majesty.

I assure you, all the animals

have responded quite
positively to the antidote.

Well, this one definitely won't.


Fried Lizard.

And where are you
getting this information?

I... I dreamt it.

Fen has been having
kind of prophetic dreams.

She knew my soufflé
was gonna fall

before that ever happened.

It's a stupid
fucking premonition.

You want to risk the
life of your lizard,

or is that a relationship

you're willing to
set fire to as well?

I'll fucking fry this lizard.

Okay, can we... can we
focus for one minute?

- Sure.
- Yes.

- Fine.
- Let's.

- Cool.
- Great.


Say I don't dose Newt
Scamander with beet juice.

How the shit am I supposed

to get his wrinkly ass talking?

I don't know, but I have an idea

of where to look for answers.

I lucid-dreamed.

I saw a woman in a green hood.

She has to be the one
giving me premonitions.

- Awesome.
- You got it working.



Unless... you tell us where
this green bitch went.

Well, in my dream,
I chased her to this stream

by the Fuschia Forest
of Corian's Land.

Corian's Land...
also known as Sloth's Bane.

I don't know what everything

in my dreams means... mean.

Anyway, I know that the answers

to our questions...
Answers lie... lay there?

I-I'm not usually the one
who gives the big speech,

so I'm... I'm going.
So that... that's happening.

Gordy says "you're welcome."

And he left you a bill.

That guy puts a really
high value on his time.

Wait, did I miss the Baba Yaga?

Well, you snooze, you lose.

I wasn't snoozing, I was dying.

We got bigger fish to fry.

I'll explain everything as
soon as your hedge witch

friends get here.

I know every
instinct is telling you

not to trust me... or anyone.

But someone put a
tracker on this.

It's a complex, expensive,
very high-level spell.

It marked him.

It looks like the
Deweys you touched

are doing the same to you.

If you have any
enchantments running...

Anything you got
in a safe house,

anything homebrewed...
It could kill you...

just like it did to Duke
and almost did to Pete.

She saved my life.

I trust her,
and I vouch for her.

Who did this?

The Library.

They make the Deweys,
and they don't give a shit

about what happens
to the hedges.

They're trying to find
someone, and we're just

collateral damage.

So ask yourselves... if
this is what they do

when they're not even
thinking about us,

what happens when they
decide we're a threat?

Are we just gonna
let people like them

tell us we're not important?

That we're just
some side characters

in their fucked-up fascist plot?

My mom was a hedge...
and she was killed

by another hedge.

You'd think that would
turn me against you.

But it didn't.

It just made me realize that

it doesn't have to be this way.

If we could stop
screwing each other over

long enough to work
together, then it's not

the Library's story.

It's our story.


I have a buddy in Modesto.

He says there's a leaky
Library pipe there.

I say we use it to make
those assholes pay.

Look, I know what
you're going through...

Do you?

They kill your boyfriend?

Actually, yeah.

Look, we'll figure
out what to do next.

I already know what to do.

You do that,
you're giving them a reason

to wipe us out.

Please just get a little sleep.

We'll talk tomorrow.

Hey, you're not alone, okay?

We'll figure this out together

in a way that feels
right for you.


Yeah, we can do that.

It's a copy of our
library, but wrong.

I was gonna say
a total mindfuck.

Tomato, tomah-to.

Oh, you go on.

I'll just be here cutting myself

to keep our bloody exit open.

Hey, just made a joke.


Where have you been?

Your funhouse-mirror daughter

shanked me. We have to go.

Those things weren't her.

The real Harriet could
still be in here.

I can't just leave her.

I hate to break it to
you, love...

- She might still be in there,
- but so are those monsters.

An attack?

On what branch?

Modesto, California.

We lost four Librarians.

Hedge witches did it.

But... but why?

There was some fallout
from your tracker coins.

It's not your fault.

Just unforeseen interaction.

Several hedges died.

The whole point of doing
this was to avoid having

to hurt anyone.

I should have been here.

You can't blame yourself.

If anything, today we learned

the true danger we're in
and that your trackers

might provide a solution.

What do you mean?

Complications aside...
the idea is sound.

Put whatever we have into
circulation among them.

We keep Modesto from
happening again.

Are you suggesting
we kill hedge witches?

I am suggesting that
we keep an eye on them.

To "protect the
flame of knowledge

from ever being extinguished,
no matter the cost."

I don't know what to say.

This is an awesome

You and I both know that,
but who is better suited

to bear that responsibility
than The Order?

There is no one I
trust more deeply

to be fair and right than you.

[knocking on door, door opens]


I can't stay long.

I-I cast a spell to keep

the Library from eavesdropping,
but it won't last.

I need your help.

They have my friend Sheila.

I know.

Hello, Ms. Quinn.

Alice, please.

Nothing will happen to you here.

Zelda wants to talk.


I need your help.

I think I've seen enough.

To counteract a lifetime

of cis-het frat-bro bias?

I-I doubt it.


So tell me, what was I
supposed to take from that?

Zelda doesn't know it yet,

but what she just set in
motion is going to change

the Library forever.

Same with Fen and Fillory,
Kady and all of magic.

When you file people
away as sidekicks,

you don't realize their
importance to the story,

and this story belongs
to a lot more people

than you think.

Where to shelve a book,
it's not a little thing.

You're telling the
world what to value,

who to value.

You get our responsibility here?

Well said.

I think you've earned
the right to move up.

Excuse me?

I know so much about
you and your friends,

but you never asked
me how I died.

O-okay, um... How did you die?

Arrow to the chest...
during the Crusades.

"The Crusades"?

1,000 years ago?

We really thought the story

was all about white guys back
then, believe me.

And I'm not new at all.

I'm actually your
supervisor's supervisor.

So you're my boss.

I fully see the
irony of a white guy

giving you this test,
but ladies upstairs

love a twist,
so they always send me.

Send you to what?

To promote you.

You're clearly ready
for the next level.

Which is?

Secrets Taken to the Grave.

You're gonna collect them.


Thank you.

Oh, and, um, I'm afraid we're gonna
need you to start right away.


Been a while.

Welcome to the Underworld.