The Magicians (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Poached Eggs - full transcript

Previously on "The Magicians"...

Poppy Kline. Dragonologist.

Post-graduate fellow
and field researcher.

- At your service.
- You're from Brakebills?

I'll go to Fillory on one condition.

That girl you saw in the
dungeon... we'll get her out.

Victoria.

You found me.

Look, I'm here.

No, I have to put myself back together.

I need to sign out.



You are a danger to yourself
and to others.

No.

The fairies aren't just terraforming,

they're growing an army.

We need a plan bigger than

just assassinating the Queen. We need...

Hostages, leverage. Don't ask questions.

- Did you get the key?
- I'm sorry, Your Majesty.

- I'm a terrible failure.
- Benedict, no!

[SPLASH]

They don't just make portals.
They are portals.

The key way to the Underworld.

It's magic.
I'd do anything to get it back.

If I could give it to you, I would.



I see the transfer worked.

Alice, are you okay? Alice.

Ah... Alice!

Okay, someone's gotta hear this, please.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

I'm sorry. Husband problems.

The little weirdo wouldn't go to sleep
until I read him a bedtime story.

That's disturbing. Let's hustle.

Q's probably already at the tree.

Tick, how are we doing?

Five minutes till
the fairy guards change shifts,

Your Majesties.

Now, no one knows we're gone, okay?

If the Fairy Queen asks, we're
bedridden with something contagious.

Like chicken pox.

Certainly, Highness. But must you leave?

Prince Fomar's people have
been somewhat... difficult.

- What do you mean?
- It seems your union

gave the Floaters
the distinct impression

that this land is now theirs.

They've been, well, pillaging... a lot.

I-I thought perhaps a royal address...

You're thinking too small.

There's only one way
out of all of this, Tick.

- Extortion.
- Exactly!

I need you to stay strong.
We are working on it.

But we can't deal with the Floaters

until we deal with the Fairies, got it?

I can't believe you paid
the Hudson River dragon

to send you to the Underworld.

That is so cool.

Yeah, well, it was a one-off.

Can't exactly go back to her
without something to trade.

Ah, I hear she's kinda withholding.

And judge-y.

Anyway, you think your ghost
friend's gonna be able to help us?

There's no "us." I'm gonna
go talk to Penny alone,

and you're gonna go back
to whatever life

you were willing to backstab me for.

Okay, I'm kinda sensing
some hostility here, and...

Q!

Oh, good.

Hey, I don't know if it was just,
like, a super anxious rabbit,

but your message made
things seem kinda...

Dire? They are.

- Are those supplies?
- Hostages.

- Who the fuck are you?
- I'm Poppy.

I'm helping Quentin find the next key.

- No, she's not helping me. We're...
- Okay, can we hit pause on the recap

until we're back
where our pasty usurpers

won't kill us all?

♪ I've got all my life to live ♪

♪ I've got all my love to give ♪

♪ And I'll survive I will survive ♪

♪ Hey hey ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

Alice? Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Alice, can you hear me?

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I told you, I'm fine.

I'm not sure what definition
of "fine" you're using.

I expected this, okay?

My body's just getting
used to Julia's magic.

There are occasional surges.

That's all this was.

I mean, was that all this was? A surge?

Or more likely her body is
going through the equivalent

of organ transplant protection.

Attacking itself to get
rid of the invader.

[CHUCKLES]

Or maybe it's nothing at all. Who knows?

Who knows?

Well, we need a better answer than that.

You wanted to do the spell.
It's all an experiment.

I have no idea what's going to happen.

Look, I prepared for this, okay?

Energy-balancing spells, exercises...

I suppose that could work.

Your confidence is overwhelming.

What's the point of lying? [SIGHS]

You people are just going to do
what you do, regardless...

[WHISPERS] Q.

Okay, you go get the key, I got this.

No, I'm gonna stay here and help.

I don't think more is merrier here.

I don't know... didn't you notice
your ex is a little...

[RAISES VOICE] Stubborn.

I noticed.

Alice and I got into this together.

I'll get us out, one way or another.

And I will make sure that she's okay.

Okay?

Go get the key while you still can.

We're all kinda counting on you
to bring back all of magic.

So you lost your key in the Underworld

and now want me to somehow
go down there and get it.

Well, you're my only friend
who's technically dead, so...

For the millionth time,
dumbass, I'm not dead.

I'm an astral projection.

No offense, but your corpse is ash,

so I think maybe you might be
in a little bit of denial.

I mean, look, weren't you
supposed to report

to the Underworld branch
of the Library anyway?

Yeah.

And I burned my body to avoid that.

Look, if we do not get to the Underworld

before Benedict moves on...
whatever that means...

then we will have no
idea where the key goes.

That's not my problem.

No magic is everyone's problem.

Do you think that
I like begging for help?

Especially to you?

I wouldn't even do it,
except that I know that you

occasionally stop being a dick
when the fate of the world

is at stake.

Fine. I'll help.

But it's not like I can
just Travel to the Underworld.

So we need a gatekeeper.

A dragon, like Jules and I used.

What about the Library's dragon?

Sorry, couldn't help but overhear.

At least one side of the convo, anyway.

- The Library has a dragon?
- Mm-hmm.

A brindle-coat Albanian pygmy.
They call it the Bookwyrm.

I read about it during dissertation
research. I assume it's real.

Ask your invisible friend.

Yeah, apparently.

I hear they use it to send

books to and from the Underworld.

'Cause dragons are portals, right?

Yeah, exact... ha...
the Bookwyrm's too small

to send a full-size person down there.

Well, what if the person was a book?

Well, you said you can project
into objects, right?

Yeah, I did... did say that, didn't I?

- Jesus Christ.
- Okay, so this might work.

Except, say, I get the key
and send it back up...

it's stuck in the Satellite Library,

which is on another planet, so...

So, we need another Traveler.

- Um.
- Oh.

I only know one.

And she got grabbed by
the Beast in Fillory.

[SIGHS] Victoria, she was in my class.

Wait a minute, you know Victoria?

Of course you know her, you... um...

Wait, wait. She's not dead?

No, I mean, we saved her
and she sorta took off.

I have no idea where she is.

If she's on Earth, I can find her.

On one condition... I wanna come.

I've never seen an
Albanian pygmy dragon before.

This could be my only shot.

- All right, fine.
- [WHISPERS] Oh, yes!

This doesn't make us friends, you know.

[ICE CLINKS IN GLASS]

Discover anything useful for Alice?

Um, yeah, actually, there's
some pretty interesting stuff

on combining immunosuppressants

with a crystal-based healing ritual.

[LAUGHS]

I'm sorry. Forgive me.

Not long ago, you wanted magic so badly

you fought through a memory wipe.

And now...

It's complicated. Uh... and personal.

Fine, I'll file it under
"entitled Millennial bullshit."

Let's be frank, Ms. Wicker.

Whatever you and Alice
are doing, it won't work.

You don't know that.

I know a lot more than you.

You're drunk, and you're mean.

And I'm right.

Look, for whatever reason,
what you had fits you.

It doesn't fit Alice.

If she keeps it, she'll die.

- So what do I do?
- Take it back.

Maybe you don't want it,
but I think you'd prefer it

than to have Alice's
blood on your hands.

You need magic to initiate
the transfer of magic.

Alice has it all. She'll never do it.

Well, fine. Go get some.

Oh, sure, I'll just pop over
to the store.

Actually, I think I may know someone

who may be of assistance.

But given their naked opportunism,

I can't imagine it'll come free.

What if the Fairy Queen
doesn't buy our "sick day"?

Tick's a crafty son of a bitch.

- He's got us covered.
- Okay.

- Eliot.
- Hey, guys.

We had the most wonderful adventure.

We went to the Square of Time,
where no one sleeps.

And it's always light.

A man urinated next to me.

Then we saw bards performing
on your famous Broad Way.

You call it "Cats," but it's
just humans in cat greasepaint.

And we tried a delicacy called pizza

at an eatery that was "Family Style."

Well, I am so glad that you
two had some bonding time.

Hi, Todd.

Hi, Dad... Eliot.

Uh, Fray, did you enjoy anything at all?

Earth? Or the Square of Time?

I do want you to like things, you know.

I can tell you want to be a good father.

It's sort of sweet.

I think I might grow
to despise you less.

- With time.
- Oh.

Let's go with that.

Not to interrupt this Hallmark moment,

but Todd, you got a sec?

Yeah.

Wait, fairies are real?

- Mm-hmm.
- I thought Fray was just nuts.

I mean, she is, but yeah,

they're real and they're raging dicks,

so I'm gonna need you
to keep an eye on these.

Is someone going to come
looking for your weird eggs?

Just make sure Fray doesn't see 'em,

and if you don't hear
from me by tomorrow night,

I've got another job for you.

Oh! Thank gods you're back.

What's with the feathers?

I had to make your
"chicken pox" convincing

- to the Fairy Queen.
- Mmm...

Okay. As long as she bought it.

Everyone in the castle did.

Even Prince Fomar
and the Stone Queen headed back

to their mountain/island.

The Fairy Queen has no idea
you were gone.

Well, that's good news, right?

So what's with the face?

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[FLIES BUZZING]

♪ ♪

Well, this just took a dark turn.

In exchange for my babies,
you want... my bathtub?

You collect toes and eyeballs,

and you think that's weird?

You'll pardon me, but I'm a
bit taken aback by this sudden

curious act of extortion.

Funny, we were taken aback
by the Floaters on spikes

on the side of the road.

We thought you'd be alarmed by that too,

given you forced us into that alliance.

So what's it gonna be? Your bathtub?

Or do we start making fairy
and goat cheese omelets?

It's a strange deal.

Even for me.

Right.

I should be more specific.

You're giving your bathtub

to the entire population of Fillory.

We're gonna make a fondue
fountain out of it.

It'll be fun.

And since I'll have a deal
with all Fillorians,

everyone will then be able to see us.

I suppose you're right.

No more shadow-puppeting.

Just straight-up puppeting, from now on.

Or hey, you could leave.

There is another option, you know.

I find my children, and then...

You have till tomorrow.

So have fun on the little egg hunt,

'cause if you don't make this deal,

we're about to boil and dye 'em

like it's motherfucking
Easter around here.

I don't know what that means.

So, if I understand you correctly,

you had magic before,
and you lied to me about it.

Now you don't have magic and
you've come to me why, exactly?

Because I need your help.

Well, why should I trust you now?

You've already lied to me once.

She's lied to me several times too.

So at least you know it's not personal.

Like it wasn't personal

when you swooped in
and bought my school,

without so much as texting me first.

Henry, trust me, better me than them.

- Them.
- Anyone but me.

[SIGHS]

And don't think the rest of the
board wasn't considering it.

You said that your family
has reserves of magic...

Limited reserves.

I just need a little bit.

I gave what I had to a friend.

- Why the hell would you do that?
- But it is killing her.

So without your help, she will
die and so will the magic.

All right.

Tell me about this
Voltaic Transfer you performed.

Oh, shit. Margo's gonna kill me.

You knew about this?

I thought I was very clear

about not looking in the cubbyhole.

You were. That's why I looked.

Fray, what are those?

Fairy eggs. That Father and Margo took.

- You don't know that.
- Just when I was starting

to think humans aren't all bad,
they steal babies?

The Fairy Queen stole you from us.

- No, you bargained me away.
- I did no such thing.

It was a fair deal.
This... is kidnapping.

Unlike you, we have honor.

You're not a fairy, Fray.

Do you honestly believe
the Queen will ever see you

as anything but a human?

Because she won't.

That's not true.

Um, didn't you say
she named you Frail Human?

That's pretty cold.

Humans are complicated.

Sometimes good people
can make bad decisions.

Yeah, like, I once donated a kidney

to this girl I really liked.

Only, it turned out she didn't actually

need it for a transplant.

No matter what you think,
I know who you truly are.

My daughter, and Eliot's. And...

You just need to trust he did
this for a very good reason.

Family is about loyalty, my love.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Fuck you!

[SIGHS]

Thought you said Victoria
was your best friend.

She slept with Josh.

On our Fillorian spring break.

While he and I were still dating.

Are you really still upset about Josh?

Can't we move past that?
I mean, we were like sisters.

Yeah, do you not get that

that only makes it more fucked up?

Sorry, could we just focus for a second?

It's just kind of important.

Look, even if magic was back,
and these tattoos worked,

I still wouldn't help you.

'Cause I don't trust you.

Okay, will you just hold on
to this for a second?

Victoria, be real with me.
You owe me that.

I know. It's just not that simple, okay?

I work with this group now,
and I can't just...

Group?

Yeah, it's kind of about
freedom of information.

So believe me, we have no problem
dicking over the Library.

It's just... we got something going on.

Wait, is your boss, um...

is she like 40-something,
hot, mostly rolls in ASL?

Okay, so, if you know
this Harriett person,

can... can you get her to help?

Uh, she doesn't exactly

- like me.
- Great.

So Victoria hates Poppy.
Harriet hates you.

So it makes perfect sense.

Some people are just so emotional.

Harriet does like Kady, though.

Okay, great, then let's talk to Kady.

Where is she?

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Shit.

Kady.

All right, I can help you.

But you'll owe me a favor.

Uh, what's the favor?

- To be determined.
- [SNICKERS]

- Trust her.
- What could go wrong?

Oh, Henry, don't be angry at me.

It was buy the place

or let the Hewitts liquidate
everything on eBay

and turn this place into a...
an amusement park.

At least I care.

You care about something.

Do we have a deal?

Is that cocaine?

It's the excretion of
a very rare magical creature.

But yes, you will have to snort it.

I'm sorry, what creature?

I thought you had batteries.

Look, you asked me for my help.

This is what I have to offer.

Okay, Kady is in the High Risk Ward,

down the hallway over here.

The ward is locked. So is Kady's room.

And there's a guard station
at the entrance right here.

Okay.

Those squiggles are guards?

Yeah, see? Little guard hats.

Gotcha.

So, how are we gonna get in
past all the security?

We're not.
They are gonna bring her to us.

By law, if they wanna
hold her involuntarily

- for more than 15 days...
- They have to bring in

outside doctors to certify she's crazy.

Yeah, and, uh, we will be those doctors.

They'll buy that?

I mean, won't they check
credentials and shit?

No, it's like a state hospital.

Yeah, their computer systems
are older than we are.

By the time they find anything
on us, we'll be long gone.

Good thinking.

Should I be concerned that you
both know so much about this?

Mm... There was a "crazy" time.

Okay, whatever, uh...

But it's not like you two can just
walk out of there with a patient.

No, but Kady can walk herself out

if she has a security badge.

And what, she's supposed to
steal one of those off a guard?

No, I will.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Here we are.

♪ ♪

Kady, this is Dr. London,
and... I'm sorry, Dr....

Kline. Midtown Mental Health Clinic.

Which is where we work.

Yes. We're here to do an evaluation.

Great. Mind if I sit in?

No, not at all. Please do.

Okay, um, so, Kady, um...

Dr. Walton here tells us
that you've been suffering

from delusions, and that you've
been talking to someone

named, uh... Penny?

Oh, um, yeah.

Don't look at me. Stay cool.

We're breaking you out of here.

Kady, can you tell us about Penny?

Yeah, uh, yeah, he was a... my ex.

But I-I don't see him anymore.

Quentin's gonna hand you
a security badge.

It'll get you out of the ward.

When you're on break, in the day room,

use it to sneak out. We'll be waiting.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, someone has lost their badge.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[WHISPERS] Great.

What now?

What if she doesn't take the deal?

Then what do we do? Or, no...

What if she takes the deal,
and then it's all-out war?

Stop it.

It's going to be fine.

We could cut our losses.

We could head back to Earth and regroup.

We could finish the quest,
restore magic,

and then maybe revisit this

when we stand a fighting chance.

You and I both sacrificed
a lot for Fillory.

And now we're supposed
to just hand over the kingdom

to the albino supermodel?

Bitch took my eye.

Hey, I don't wanna leave.

But what if we're making things worse?

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

There wasn't a blood test to
tell me to be High Queen.

I chose it.

And I have had to fight for
every shred of authority.

And no offense,

but you can't understand,
because it was handed to you.

And now I'm supposed
to abandon my kingdom?

Those fairy bitches wanna come
for my crown, well...

♪ ♪

I'll shove it up their fucking eggholes.

Well, that raises some
anatomical questions, but...

I'm on board.

[CLINK]

Maybe try the key.

- What?
- Well, I don't know.

Like, wave it around or something.

Maybe a keyhole will appear in the wall.

This is stupid.

[SIGHS] And I feel sick.

Why are you here anyway?

We already stuck a fork in this, Penny.

- We're helping you.
- All of a sudden?

After I was such a ray
of sunshine to you last time.

We need you to talk to Harriet.

We need her help getting the next key,

so we can bring magic back.

All right. And where's the next key?

In the Underworld.

I'm the only one who can get it, Kady.

You're doing it again, aren't you?

Throwing your life
at a problem to solve it.

I'm tired, Penny.

What couple deals with this
kinda shit on a regular basis?

I thought we weren't a couple.

That's not funny.

It's a little funny.

Hey, yell at me.

I don't want to. I am tired of yelling.

Yell at me.

I'm getting you out of this room.

Come on!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

[CLATTERING]

Okay, Kady.

Hand over the contraband.

What's up?

Uhh...

Go, team.

Alice, what're you doing here?

What are you?

I thought you were in a psych ward.

I was.

Now I'm the sanest woman in America.

Thanks to the 14 pills
I took this morning.

[LAUGHS]

I actually can't really feel anything.

[WHISPERS] It's fantastic.

If I didn't know better, I would say

that you were just trying to cast

an intermediate unlocking charm.

That would mean that I have magic,

which we both know is impossible.

Right. Hmm.

Well, don't bother.
I already looted the place.

Brakebills may be closed.
Black market's not.

Gotta make a living.

You, uh, looking for something special?

Some Boswellia.

Bloodstone, steroids.

Fuck me.

So you do have magic.

What do you know about transplants?

I know you'd have to be desperate

to try something that stupid.

Well, who am I to judge? [CHUCKLES]

I almost blew a werewolf
so he'd turn me.

Magical creatures...

they can hang on to their magic
just fine, so...

Please...

if you have anything that can help me...

Well, Boswellia and
Bloodstone are total bullshit.

But, uh, steroids might help a little.

[BOTTLES CLATTERING]

It's more of a Band-Aid
than a cure, but...

It says take two. You should take eight.

- Thank you.
- We're all screwed anyway.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em, hmm?

[BEEP]
- Dr. Bailey,

you're needed at nurse's station 204.

- Dr. Bailey...
- Nurse coming. Shh!

I know you don't wanna talk right now.

- I sure don't.
- Yeah, yeah, hate me later.

I'm going to the Underworld,
Kady, give me this.

You're the best thing in my life.

Short life, granted, but...

I want you to know I don't
regret a fucking second.

Well, you should.

It's crazy we lived this long.

We met. We had great sex.

I got to know you.

I'm lucky.

What's your point?

Don't be mad too long.

I want you to be happy.

Jesus Christ.

I can't be.

Without you, you fucking idiot.

But isn't that just adult life?

Accepting your own misery.

[BEEP]
- Code Green,

Shit. I guess they found my room.

Come on.

We need a new plan.
We can't just leave Kady

and the key locked up in there...

I know, I know. Quit being so twitchy.

You look suspicious.

No, I'm not. You're suspicious.

[ALARM BLARES]

Attention, this is a Code Green.

- Everyone stay in their room.
- Oh, shit. Lockdown.

And stay calm. We are on lockdown.

We're gonna have to help her...

Attention, this is a Code Green.

You sure this is gonna work?

It's fire safety protocol.

How do you not know that?

[FIRE ALARM BLARING]

Attention, please proceed
to the nearest fire exit

and evacuate immediately.
See? Works every time.

How many times have you done this?

And evacuate immediately.

[ALARM BLARING] Keep it moving!

[FIRE ALARM RINGING]

I told you we'd figure it out.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Oh, shit.

[GROANS]

♪ ♪

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Come on, let's go.

Well.

Alice is gone.

Might be time to use this.

To cast a locator spell.

[SNIFFS] Ugh.

Reminds me of the old days. [CHUCKLES]

I don't wanna know.

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

This magic... it looks different.

It feels different.

If it's working, let's not split hairs.

Find her.

Wait a minute. What's Alice doing there?

I'm blind. Are you going to tell me?

Eliot, Fray found the eggs.

She was upset and tried to take them.

I stopped her, but she ran away
and we can't find her.

This is not good.

And real bad timing, El.

Yeah, Fen, we are about to
have a delicate negotiation,

and while I am worried
about our daughter,

we need to put a pin in it. There's
nothing we can do about it right now.

- Perhaps I can help.
- Oh, Fray.

We've been having quite a talk.

Eggs and portals and quests.

So much going on I didn't know about.

We really should discuss.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Crap.

Fray? How could you?

Like you said, family loyalty.

I've considered your offer.

And I propose a counter.
Don't hurt my children.

I won't hurt yours.

Wait. What? [GASPS]

- No.
- Don't you touch her.

But my Queen...

Let's just all calm down
and talk about this, okay?

- No one needs to get hurt.
- I agree.

I... I helped you. I...

Yes.

You're a perfect specimen
of human duplicity.

Betrayed your own parents.

Why would I ever trust you?

I just... found the eggs and
couldn't believe they would...

I just wanted all this to stop.

So let's stop this.

♪ ♪

We gotta give her the eggs.

There's gotta be another way.
That's our only leverage.

I know, but she's my daughter.

We have a whole country to think about.

I can't be the dad that turns
his back on his kid.

I'm not your daughter.
I'm just a human who...

♪ ♪

- What're you saying?
- What?

Explain.

Now...

or it's poached eggs tonight.

♪ ♪

Fray isn't yours.

Your real daughter died
during childbirth.

♪ ♪

She died?

Oh, gods, I...

Oh, no. Oh, no.

♪ ♪

That is the sound
of your leverage dying.

You'd better shake on this deal
while you still can.

♪ ♪

No, no way.

- Please.
- No.

I'm asking for this favor.

[MOUTHING]

Okay, okay, look.

Look, I'm... I am grateful for
everything you did for me.

For Penny.

So how about this?

What if...

[MELLOW ROCK IN BACKGROUND]

Then we both get what we want.

So we're gonna rob the Library?

- Oh, awesome.
- No, not awesome.

Stupid.

It is hard enough
to sneak one person in there.

How the hell are they gonna
get the whole group in?

It's the dumbest plan I've ever...

[GROANS] Uhh...

Uh, Penny's got some notes.

You said you wanted to do this.

You don't know
the defenses this place has.

I don't wanna see you get hurt.

Oh, are you the only one who
gets to do something stupid?

You've been waiting to say that.

I know what I'm doing.

My head's clear now.

You got me out. We'll get the key out.

You just... you have to go,
if that's what you wanna do.

Yeah, don't get me wrong.

Being on the astral plane's great.

Just a little over being stuck here.

Bringing magic back is
the only way I see out of this.

[SNICKERS]

Wouldn't it be funny
if we made it out of this?

I'd laugh pretty hard.

Look, this tweaker's worried
the key's already moving on,

so I gotta go be a book
and get eaten by a dragon.

Yeah, I heard that one before.

I love you.

I'm sorry we're cursed.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

♪ ♪

He's gone.

What, like, gone? Gone gone? Like...

Like, to the Library gone?

Gone to the Underworld, gone.

So let's not fuck it up on our end.

- [INDISTINCT COUNTING]
- [SIGHS]

Are you sure you wanna do this?

It's not exactly like everyone thinks...

Jonesing for blood.

Watching everyone you know die.

That is, if you
don't kill them yourself.

You don't seem like the fan
girls who usually come to me.

You seem... smart.
Too smart to want all this.

I don't want it.

- Then why...
- It's none of your business.

Well, then, no. [CLEARS THROAT]

Becoming a creature...
no offense... is the only way

I can keep my magic.

Why are you trying to talk me out of it?

I'm not. But are you so sure

this'll do what you want it to?

No, but I'm out of options,

so will you take my money or not?

[SCOFFS] [SIGHS]

All right. [CLEARS THROAT]

- [CAR DOOR OPENS]
- Alice, let's go.

Jesus, how did you find me?

Spent some desperate times
around here looking for magic.

All I found were shitty vampires.

Can we please go?

No, just leave. Continue.

Ah! [GROANS]

Leave or I break it.

Ah! Get off me!

How did you do that?

Ah. Get out.

No, I gave you my money.

Not enough to deal with
hedgewitch Buffy. Good luck.

Out!

[ENGINE TURNS]

When we said we'd explore our options,

I meant research,
not joining the undead.

I researched. This is the only way.

No, it isn't. This is reckless.

Okay. I don't need your help,
you condescending bitch.

[WHOOSHES]

[DARK MUSIC]

Aaaaaah!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Oh, no, Julia.

♪ ♪

I transferred it all back.

I'm sorry.

All you did was try to help me,
and I almost killed you.

Yeah, well, my magic
almost killed you, so...

I guess we're even.

We're not,
but that's nice of you to say.

Ever since Quentin
dragged me back, I've just...

I mean, what do people in limbo do?

It's excruciating.

You know, and I just thought
maybe if I could just...

Fix it?

I know the feeling.

Really.

I still see Reynard.

You do?

Awake, in my dreams, yep.

Do you think maybe it's because...

I think it's because it happened.

And there's nothing magic
about it anymore.

When things happen, they leave a mark.

Figuring out how to deal
with it takes time.

I get what Quentin always saw in you.

You're brave.

Just stubborn.

I think that's why you can hold it.

All the pain, and all the shit
you didn't ask for,

that's what made you you.

And that's why this magic fits.

Maybe sometimes life is... random

and unfair.

You know, it doesn't always
ask our permission.

It just is.

Honestly...

It still makes me sick
to think that it was his.

Except that it's not his anymore, Julia.

I felt it. It... it's yours.

For whatever reason.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

So what are you gonna do with it?

♪ ♪

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

Fen. [CLEARS THROAT]

Maybe you shouldn't be holding
sharp objects right now.

My father was a knife maker.

This is how I've always calmed down.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

♪ ♪

When our daughter was born,

they took her away.

They wouldn't let me hold her.
I never heard her cry.

I should have known.

How could I not know?

♪ ♪

God, I was so ready to believe Fray.

I think deep down I thought...

♪ ♪

If we just felt like a family,

if I just willed it hard enough,

then that would be real.

'Cause this...

How am I supposed to live with it?

Oh, God.

God, oh, Fen, I'm so sorry.

You would've been... um.

No, you were such a great mom.

And... I was a shitty father
and an even shittier husband.

You deserve so much better than this.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna need some time. [SNIFFLES]

I can't be in Fillory right now.

Okay, okay.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[MURMURING]

Hey.

Okay, dude. Spill.

What's up?

What if... Penny doesn't find Benedict

or the Key? Or he gets caught
by a Librarian, or we do,

or any part
of this ridiculous plan fails?

It seems like you're worrying
about a lot of stuff

you can't control, here.

Everything that we're doing,
if we mess it up,

it's not just me who suffers.

It's not just us who suffers.

We're talking about
the entire multiverse.

No, it's not the multiverse.

Magic doesn't exist in this universe.

It doesn't mean it's gone
in alternate realities.

- That is not the point.
- Oh, boy.

What're you doing?

Short-circuiting your panic attack.

It's getting tiresome.

Okay, I'm confused.

It's sweet how much you care
about your friends.

Even the ones that don't like you.

Let's just have some fun.

Seems like the chances of
everyone surviving

go up if we do that.

[SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

Hmm?

♪ ♪

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Your eggs, I take it, are fine?

Yes.

What have you done with Fray?

She did not want to return with me.

Her fate is her own.

Is the rest done?

The bathtub now belongs
to the people of Fillory.

May they be clean forever.

I'm sure they'll appreciate the gift.

While we're at it.

What was your end game anyway?

The whimsical demands,
forced alliances...

Was it all just standard
"terraforming for world

domination mega-villain" bullshit?

[LAUGHS]

It's a sign of your human privilege

that you see things so simply.

Oh, but it is simple, Lady...
you made us look crazy.

And aligning with the Floaters
made us look stupid.

But now everyone will understand

what was really happening to us.

- Will they?
- You made the deal.

Everyone can see you now.

True. And they can see you too.

Whoa, there! Whoa, whoa!

- Why are we stopping?
- I don't know.

Children of Earth have been
making a mess of things here

for some time.

I can no longer help you.

Help us with what?

- [SPLAT]
- [BOTH GASP, YELL]

[ANGRY CROWD COMMOTION]

- Eliot...
- This is sounding

a little too "Les Miz" for my liking.

- Okay, Bambi? They're armed.
- Ah!

[CROWD SHOUTING]

- Where the hell is she?
- Oh, shit.

- She planned this.
- Oh, my God!

Ohh...

Hold on! Hold on!

Aah! Aah! [CROWD SHOUTING]

I'm your Queen, you motherfuckers!