The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 4, Episode 9 - Lucy and the Sleeping Beauty - full transcript

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Starring Lucille Ball.

Costarring Gale Gordon.

That doesn't look
like 39 stories to me.

Oh, everything's
slowing up right here.

Mr. Winslow! Mr. Winslow!

Good morning, Mr. Mooney.

- Oh.
- What can I do for you?

Well, Mr. Winslow, things aren't
going zip, zip, zip around here.

Now don't you worry, Mr. Mooney.

We may have to
work around the clock,



but we'll get this
building up in time.

Oh, fine, fine,
fine. Good, good.

You don't mind if I
hang around a while.

- Do you?
- Why, you go right ahead.

After all, your bank owns
this project as much as I do.

Yeah, well, a little more
if you count the interest.

Always count the interest.

That's very... Good heavens!

Somebody's wasting a nail!

Uh, it is bent, Mr. Mooney.

Well, couldn't you
use it on a corner?

All right, we'll try.

Well, fine.

Now I don't want to
appear bossy, Mr. Winslow,



but we're in this together.

You leaning over
your blueprints.

The men leaning
over their shovels.

Me leaning over my checkbook.

You know something?

You bankers are
the unsung heroes.

I think when we
dedicate this building,

we'll put your
picture in the paper.

- My picture in the paper?!
- Sure!

- Boss?
- Oh, my...

- You want to check this?
- Excuse me.

Yes, indeed. Indeed.

My picture in the paper.

Well. Uh...

Oh, I wonder if I should...

Mr. Mooney, you lost
your job at the bank?

What?!

I did not lose my
job at the bank.

I'm here because the
bank's money is here.

Well, if you're burying
it, they'll catch you.

Mrs. Carmichael, don't
toy with me while I have

a sharp shovel in my hand.

Now, how did you find me?

Well, I went to the bank,

and they said they didn't
know where you were,

and when you left, or if
you'd ever come back.

That's the message I
always leave for you.

And my wife.

Uh, uh, finally the bank
guard told me where you were.

Why, that stool pigeon!

All right, Mrs. Carmichael,
what is it that's so important

that you had to
come looking for me?

Well, I received my
monthly allowance check,

and it seems that there
was a little mistake made...

My bank never makes mistakes.

- But Mr. Mooney...
- Mrs. Carmichael,

we have all the latest
electronic equipment.

We have electric
adding machines,

electric typewriters

and electric computers.

It is impossible for
us to make a mistake.

Oh, well, in that case, then,
I'll-I'll keep the extra $50

- you sent me.
- Oh, they must have blown a fuse!

- Coming through!
- Oh!

Whoops!

Watch yourself, little lady.

You feeling all right, ma'am?

I never felt better.

I'll tell that man not
to be in such a hurry.

We've got plenty of
beautiful buildings in this town,

but we, uh, don't want to
lose any beautiful ladies.

Oh, thank you.

Ma'am, you need
somebody to look out for you.

And for the building.

You are feeling all right?

Well, say something!

I'm not married.

Mr. Mooney, uh,
this little lady and I

have been thrown together a lot.

Don't you think it's about
time that you introduced us?

Well, all right, but
remember, you asked for it.

This is Frank Winslow,

who has to hurry
and finish a building.

This is Lucille Carmichael,
who was just leaving.

How do you do?

Pleasure to meet
you, Miss Carmichael.

Say, it's a shame that
you've got to, uh, rush off.

I'd sure like to show you
around the project a little.

Oh, well, I just love
big, tall, handsome...

projects.

I do happen to
have a few minutes.

Oh, if we're gonna show
you around the project...

you better put
this on... we, uh,

certainly don't want anything
to fall on that pretty head.

Do we, Mr. Mooney?

No?

Uh, no! No.

How do I look?

Like Sergeant York.

Aw! He's just
spoofing you, ma'am.

Why, it looks a darn
sight cuter on you

- than it does on the fellas.
- Oh, thank you.

Hey, boss, you gonna
check this foundation?

Be right there.

Now, look, Mr. Winslow doesn't
have time today to take you on

- a guided tour!
- Oh, well,

it does look like
everybody wants you.

Doggone it, I hate to renege on
my invitation, Miss Carmichael,

but you can see things are
a little hectic here right now.

- Yeah.
- I'll tell you what, uh,

will you have lunch
with me tomorrow?

- Lunch?
- Well, I know it's kind of rushing things,

but things are rushing me.

- Well, I, uh...
- Mr. Mooney'll vouch for me.

Well, he does have
an A-1 credit rating.

Boss! Can I see you a minute?

Okay!

Please, I'd... I'd
sure be honored.

Uh, well...

Make up your mind!

You're holding up
a 39-story building!

- Uh, all right.
- Aw, that's wonderful.

- See you at lunchtime tomorrow.
- Okay.

Gee!

He's so rugged and tall.

Yes. Reminds me
of my younger days.

You looked like that?

No, my wife did.

Gee, a luncheon date!

I'm gonna need a new dress.

Mr. Mooney, you know that
$50 that I just gave back to you?

What $50?

Oh, come on, now,
Mr. Mooney, come on, I'm...

- I'm gonna have to borrow it.
- No, I have no idea...

- Oh, hold it!
- Just a loan...

Go, man! Go! Go!

Mr. Mooney,
that's not nice! Mr...

Follow that wheelbarrow!

You certainly are a good sport.

Well, thank you.

I... I-I-I like it up here.

High up like... this is...

heh, gives me a happy feeling.

Gosh, Lucy, it's just wonderful
the way you've taken this.

You know, I had
reservations for lunch

at a real swanky
restaurant, and then

my foreman didn't come
to work this morning,

and, well, I had
to... to stay here.

Oh. Is your foreman sick?

Oh, no, no. He, uh,
he got hired to do

one of those
cigarette commercials.

Oh, a cigarette commercial.

Oh. Is he going to
have a black eye,

or is he gonna get
indigestion from eating his hat?

Let's, uh, stand up
here, take a look around.

Stand up and take
a look around?!

Why, sure.

Well, uh, uh, no, I... I can
see fine sitting down, Frank.

Aw, come on.
Here, I'll help you.

Uh... uh...

uh...

- Just take it easy.
- Yeah.

Lots of time. Slow and easy.

That a girl!

Why, that's fine!

Nothing to it.

No, I-I-I-I like it up here.

- You know something, Lucy?
- What?

When this building is finished,

this whole floor is gonna
be a penthouse restaurant.

Oh?

And just think, we're
the first ones to eat here.

Oh, goody.

I always do ask for a
table by the window,

but this is the first time I ever
got a table out the window.

You know, a person
needs breathing room.

- Yeah.
- I come up here sometimes

just to think.

You come up here to think?

Yeah, well, I could do a
lot of thinking up here, too,

but... mostly about falling.

Aw, you want to go
back down, Lucy?

No, I-I-I don't want
to go back down.

I... I was just
kidding. Ha, ha, ha.

But I would like
to sit down, Frank.

Oh, well, certainly.

Oh.
- Now, you just take it slow and easy.

A-All right.

Lot of time.

Why, we'll have you
hopping around here

like a grasshopper in no time.

By golly, I almost forgot!

What'd you forget, Frank?

Well, I almost forgot,
I got a present for you.

- You got me a present?
- Yeah.

Well, wha-wha-what is it?

Hey, Harry, where's that box?

It's on the way up!

You know, I, uh,
was kind of hoping

maybe you'd be paying
us regular visits here.

- Up here?!
- Yeah.

So, uh... I got
something for you.

Oh, h-how nice.

There you are.

Oh, Frank!

Oh, it's beautiful!

I, uh, had my riveter
make it up special for you.

Your riveter made it?

Oh...

And it's got my name
on it and everything.

I just love it, Frank.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Let's drink to that.

Oh, you've got champagne, too?

Sure!

Well...

Uh... we'll drink to having
our heads in the clouds.

Having our heads in the clouds.

That's nice.

You know, it's just
like having a picnic.

But you don't have to
worry about the ants.

No, just the birds.

Say, Lucy, uh...

you know, it's been a long time
since I met somebody like you.

Aw, go on, you... you
must have a lot of girlfriends.

- Say, I got a wonderful idea.
- What?

Why don't I take you dining
and dancing Saturday night?

Saturday night? Uh, well...

Aw, come on.

- Well, uh...
- I won't take no for an answer.

Well, how can I resist
a man on a girder?

What was that?

Well, that was the
whistle... Lunch hour's over.

Oh, you fellas don't go in

for those little
dinner bells, do you?

Well, now, if we'd have
had a little dinner bell,

you wouldn't be in
my arms right now.

All right, you lovebirds,
get off the perch.

Lunch hour's over.

Hi, Mary Jane.

- Wow, what an outfit.
- How do I look?

- Oh, that'll make their eyes pop out.
- You like?

Thank you.

If I don't pop out first.

Ooh, that smells delicious.

Thanks for letting me
use your oven, Lucy.

I'm going to have to get a
bigger oven or fewer relatives.

Do your relatives come
to visit you very often?

No. Once a year
is all I can stand.

Go on. You mean they
don't come to see you

on Christmas and Thanksgiving?

And ruin a holiday?

I should say not.

And I guess we'll have our
usual fight about carving.

You fight about carving?

Everybody wants
to carve the turkey,

and I don't trust any of
my relatives with a knife.

Oh, Mary Jane.

Boy that looks delicious,
and I'm just starving.

You want a nibble?

No, no, I don't want
to spoil my appetite.

Frank says that
we're going to have

a real elegant dinner tonight.

Oh, Lucy, this Frank
sounds absolutely marvelous.

What's he like?

Well, I-I really don't
know him very well,

but the little bit that
I know is very nice.

Well, what does he look like?

He's very tall, and...

Well, he looks like the
Washington Monument

with a suntan.

Gee, are you lucky.

My boyfriend's built
like the Liberty Bell.

Come to think of it,
he's even a little cracked.

You sure you don't want
some of this before I put it away?

No, don't tempt me.

Mary Jane, where are
your other television sets?

I only have one.

One television set?!

Fine hostess you are.

My screaming kids have got
to watch other screaming kids

twitching on TV,

so I got to miss the
wrestling matches.

One TV set.

Thanks a lot, Mary Jane.

Who was that?

My Aunt Gussie.

She's the nicest
one in the family.

Oh, boy.

That must be Frank.

Oh, do you want to
meet him, Mary Jane?

I'd better not.

Once you've looked at
the Washington Monument

it's tough going out
with the Liberty Bell.

I'll get the turkey
after you're gone.

Okay.

Hi, Frank. Come on in.

Hi, Lucy.

Gosh, you sure look pretty.

Well, you look a
little different yourself.

Why don't you sit down for a
minute and I'll get my things.

Oh, I'd be afraid to.

Afraid to sit down?

My divan is a lot safer
than your steel girders.

Uh, no, it's just that
I'm a little tired tonight.

I worked 48 hours straight,

and if I sit down, I
might not get up again.

Say, look, maybe you could
just take a ten-minute nap

and then I'll wake
you up when I...

Oh, no! Don't
ever do that, Lucy!

Don't ever do what?

Wake me.

Why not?

Well, during the war
I was a commando

and I learned karate, and...

when somebody
wakes me up sudden like

I start swinging.

Oh!

Well, say, you must crack
up a lot of alarm clocks.

No, but I did break
my brother's nose once.

- Oh, no.
- Yeah.

Oh, that's... that's terrible.

What do you say we get
out of here? I'm hungry.

Oh, me, too. I'm starving.
I'll only be a minute.

Okay, Frank, I'm ready.

I'm ready...

Aw, gosh, I'm sorry, Lucy.

Oh... uh... was that karate?

Well, it's like I told you...

That's what happens when
somebody wakes me up.

Well, gee, I didn't even
know you were asleep.

I'm awful sorry. I...

I'll have it fixed,
don't worry about it.

Oh, that's all
right, that's all right.

I kind of like it that way.

I just hope I didn't scare you.

No, no, I'm all right,

but, you know, Frank,
I-I'm worried about you.

Now look, you
better rest awhile.

You-You just come on over here.

Now, I insist.

Well, I'll... I'll just
sit down a minute.

- I won't go to sleep.
- All right.

I think that makes
a lot of sense.

Now I think it's a shame
that you have to work so hard.

Mr. Mooney's nothing
but an old slave driver.

48 hours without sleep.

What does he think
you are, a machine?

A person can't go 48
hours without sleep.

You know what you
ought to tell him, Frank?

You just ought to walk up
to him and you say, "Mist..."

Frank? Frank?

Frank?

Oh, Frank.

Frank, are you asleep?

Boy, you're a big one.

Oh, that turkey.

Oh, I'm so hungry.

I can have an apple.

Oh, hi, kids. Having fun?

Shh.

What's the matter?

He's sleeping...

Oh, no.

Oh, boy, now I've
got the hiccups.

I always get 'em
when I'm... hungry.

The smell of that turkey's

- been driving me...
- crazy.

Well, Lucy, why is he sleeping?

I'll explain later.

Help me get rid of these hiccups

before they wake him... up!

Well, why shouldn't
we wake him up?

Because he learned
karate in the comman... dos.

He worked 48 hours,

and if you wake him up,
he'll break your brother's nose.

But I haven't got a brother.

How about Aunt Gussie?

Would you please stop
asking qu... questions

and help me get
rid of these hiccups?

Oh, I know a cure... A
paper bag on your head.

You got a paper bag?

Yeah, hurry up.
By the refrigerator.

Now, hold your
breath and count to ten.

Mary Jane.

Where's the turkey?

The whole family's over
there banging their cups.

Shh!

Who's that?

That's my best friend.

Now be quiet, or
you'll cause trouble.

A giant, a woman
with a bag for a face,

your relatives starving,
and I'm causing trouble?

Will you please go back?
I'll be there in a minute.

Tell your best friend
she's got termites.

Mary Jane?

- I'm coming, Lucy.
- Mary Jane?

Yeah, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming.

My hiccups are gone.

Think your bag worked, huh?

No, your Aunt Gussie
scared them out of me.

That Aunt Gussie
just drives me crazy.

Oh, you're taking
your turkey away?

- Want a little piece, Lucy?
- Yeah, I sure would.

- Just give me a little bite.
- Yeah, I will...

Just...- -

Oh.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

Well, you won't have to worry
about who carves this year.

Well, that's all right, Frank.

Don't you be sorry.

I want you to meet my
friend, Mary Jane Lewis.

- Oh, hi.
- How do you do?

My hand's all greasy.

Oh, well, it's nice meeting
you, Mr. Monument.

I'll be going now, Lucy.

Well, I hope your Aunt
Gussie likes turkey hash.

Yes, I'm...

How long have I been asleep?

Oh, not very long.

But you were so tired, Frank.

Well, I feel, uh... fresh
and raring to go now.

Okay, we'll go. The
evening's still young yet.

- Sure.
- Okay.

Come on.

Ah, there you are.

I've just come from
the construction site,

and things are slowing down.

I demand that you return
to the job immediately.

Mr. Mooney, I promised to
take this lady out to dinner.

I've caused her nothing
but trouble all evening long.

And I practically
wrecked her whole house.

You've wrecked her house?

With one hand.

With one hand?

Well, if you're going,
why don't you get going?

You can use my credit card.

Take my car. It's right outside.

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