The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 2, Episode 26 - Lucy and the Scout Trip - full transcript

Starring Lucille Ball.

Costarring Vivian Vance.

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Have you boys secured
the wigwam cover?

All set, Mr. Mooney.

Oh, good, good.

Oh, that's fine. Fine. Fine.

Well, you fellas certainly
have done a good job



in setting up camp.

Now, when Joe Davis arrives
with the rest of the troop,

we'll get to work.

Uh, fellas, come here.

Gather round. Let's get
today's activities all lined up.

Now, then, you know that in order
to complete our project on Indian lore,

we are going to have to
learn to shoot a bow and arrow,

we are going to learn
canoeing Indian-style,

and we are going to
hunt for Indian relics.

Now, is that clear?

If we all do that, then Den Eight
wins a free trip to the World's Fair.

Dad, you forgot about
tracking in the woods.

Tracking in the woods. How
could I forget tracking in the woods?

That is my specialty.



I can find my way out
of any woods in the world

just by exercising a
few simple little tricks.

Now, for example, what do we...

Oh, come over here to the tree.

Come on, fellas.
Quickly. Over here.

Now, you see that moss?

That tells me that
north is that way.

But, Mr. Mooney, according to
my compass, north is that way.

That is impossible.

And that isn't even moss!

That isn't even...

Oh! Well, that explains it.

See, it isn't moss.

Now, fellas, come around, now.

We'll get everything stacked
up here because when...

Hi, Arnold.

Oh, hello. Hello, boys.

Come on. Right over there.

You can get everything
all lined up there.

That's right.

Joe! Joe.

Joe?

Mrs. Carmichael
and Mrs. Bagley?!

Where is Joe Davis?

Well, Margaret Davis
called last night at midnight

and said that Joe
couldn't be here

because he had to
have his appendix out.

And we didn't want
to disappoint the boys,

so we came in his place.

Oh, well, then you
go right back home

because this is no
place for women.

We're not women.
We're den mothers.

Well, surely some other
father could take Joe's place.

We tried to get another den
dad, but we couldn't find one.

You couldn't find
one den dad to do it?

We tried every
den dad in Danfield.

We must have dialed a
dozen different den dads.

You dialed a dozen
different den dads

and none of them
could do their duty?

You're darn right, we did.

We dialed a dozen
different den dads,

and they were all disappointed
that they couldn't do their duty,

but all the den dads we
thought that we could depend on

were all doing different duties
that they had delayed doing,

you know, heretofore.

Yeah, all...

So every time I
dialed a den dad...

Would you hold-hold-hold...

Hold it. Hold it.

We will just have
to go back to town,

come up here later when some
dependable den dad can do it...

When some other
father can take over.

Now, boys, I'm sorry. We
have to go back to town.

Now, Mr. Mooney,
that will be too late.

Next weekend is the
meeting of the pack

when all the dens
turn in their projects.

Yeah. We need this trip

to complete our
project on Indian lore.

Yeah. Our den hasn't
completed one project all year.

We may be the first cub
scouts to ever be court-martialed.

Please, now, Mr. Mooney,
this is very important.

You know, every den
that completes its project

gets a free trip to
the World's Fair.

I know it's important,
but I can't be responsible

for so large a
group all by myself.

You won't be by yourself.

No. We'll follow your
orders, sagamore.

Sagamore?

Yeah, that's Indian
for "leader of the clan."

Come on, Mr. Mooney,
say they can stay.

Well, it's against
my better judgment,

but I don't like to
disappoint the boys.

Of course you don't.

All right, all right.
You can stay.

Hey, come here. Should we
give Mr. Mooney the grand howl?

Yeah!

Now, that's right.
Get in a circle.

Get in a circle all
around Mr. Mooney.

All right. Now I want to hear
the bobcats and the wolves.

Let's hear it for Mr. Mooney!

All right! Oh, oh, yo.

Thank you for the
grand howl. Whoo.

Now. All right, now.

Let's get busy.
Let's get to work.

Uh, will you two
helpers take the canoe

and put it in the lake?

- Okay, sagamore.
- In the lake.

Good. Meanwhile, fellas,

we will start with bow
and arrow practice.

Get the bows right over there.

Oh, Mrs. Carmichael?

Where are the arrows?

Joe Davis, you know, he
was in charge of the arrows.

Oh, the arrows. Yeah.

Yes, the arrows. Yes.

Out of the way there, boys.

That's right. Where are they?

Would you hang onto those?

Yes, I'll... Uh, yeah.

- All right.
- There.

- Uh, um...
- Now, let's see.

Mrs... Mrs. Carmichael.

Yeah?

I don't like to disappoint you,

but this is a very poor
location for a souvenir stand.

Oh, Mr. Mooney.

These are our Indian costumes.

I thought that we should wear
them while we're on this project

because it helps get into
the spirit of things, you know?

Yeah. It helps
their imagination.

Their imagination...

And I think all those
things are important.

They are important.
Will you get the arrows?

Oh, yes. The arrows.

That's important, the
arrows. Yes, please.

Where did I put those arrows?

- Can I help you?
- Oh, I know!

I didn't put them in here

because I was afraid
they'd get broken.

I...

Oh, dear.

The arrows? Where
are the arrows?

On my kitchen table.

Ahh...

Oh, fine. Oh, fine!

Well, fellas...

So much for practice
with bow and arrow.

Now, if you'll put...

I... All right. Never mind.

Now, I will take you on
that hike I promised you.

And we will look
for Indian relics.

Now, you get your canteens
and your compasses and you...

Will you two kindly put
that canoe in the lake

as I asked you to do?

- Yes.
- Yes, sir.

You'll do that. All right.

Now, I've made a
study of it, fellows,

and I am sure
that this whole area

is loaded with arrowheads.

I'm going to get my
canteen. Be right with you.

Where are you going?

This way.

No, you go this way, Viv.

That's where we came from.

The lake is the other way.

- Oh.
- Come on.

Oh, now, Lucy, you know
I can't walk backwards.

Oh, for heaven's
sake. All right.

Now, wait a minute.
I'll turn around.

- Okay.
- All right.

Now, just swing around
and go towards the lake.

All right.

Towards the lake now.

Hold it, hold it, hold it,

hold it, hold it!

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it!

Sagamore?

Mr. Mooney, are you in there?

Yes, and I'm going
to stay in here.

I am not coming out
in this ridiculous getup!

Oh, come on, Mr. Mooney.
We've all got our costumes on.

Well, I... Oh...

Ah, look at that.

Why, you look perfect.

The only way I'd look perfect

would be standing in
front of a cigar store.

No, really. You
look so authentic.

Turn sideways.

If you had been born earlier,

it would have been
your face on that nickel.

Oh, pshaw.

Hi, Lucy. How do I look?

Oh, you look wonderful.

Yeah? Oh.

Is that Mr. Mooney?

Yes!

Well, that's the handsomest
Indian I ever saw.

See? That's what I was
telling you, sagamore.

What does my chief see?

I see green valley.

I see many herd of buffalo.

I see many flock
of turkey for food.

I see many fish in waters.

I see our canoe drifting
in the middle of the lake.

I see many peach trees.

I see... our canoe drifting
in the middle of the lake!

It can't be!

But it is.

How could that have happened?

You probably didn't tie
the rope tight enough!

Rope?

All you said was, "Take it
down and put it in the lake."

You have only been here one hour

and already you have
mislaid the arrows,

knocked over the
wigwam and lost the canoe!

Well, that is something of
a grim little record, isn't it?

Is there some reason

you don't want these boys
to go to the World's Fair?

Oh, of course not, Mr. Mooney.

Now, for heaven sake,
we've still got lots of things

we can do for the project.

We've got tracking in the woods.

That'll look good on our report.

Oh, all right.

I suppose I can take
the boys on a hike.

All right, uh... Boys!

Come and get ready for the hike!

Braves?

Oh, braves?

What was that?

That's the official call.
Don't you know anything?

I know I'll never hear
out of that ear again.

I know that. Boys!

Oh! Come on, fellas.

We're going on that hike
to look for Indian relics.

Come on. Gather round.

Quickly, quickly.

Now, I want to
demonstrate to you boys

the Indian stride.

Now, watch carefully. You
keep your elbows up high.

Heel and toe, heel
and toe, heel and toe.

Now, this conserves energy.

You can walk greater
distances without getting tired.

You see? All right,
now, boys. Single file!

That's right. Let me see
you hit that Indian stride.

Forward. Follow me.

Come along. Here we go.

Here we go. Left.

Come on, Viv.

Let's go hunt for
relics with them.

Oh, no thanks.

I'm going to curl up on my
buffalo robe and take a nap.

Okay. See you later.

All righty.

Ah ha ha.

Halt!

You stay.

Oh, have we got hold
of a sour sagamore.

Come on, sit down. Sit with me.

Relax for a while.

No, I don't feel like relaxing.

You know, I feel awful
about losing that canoe.

So do I.

Hey, I don't see it out in the
middle of the lake anymore.

Oh?

Must have drifted
into shore somewhere.

Hey, I'm going to follow
the edge of the lake around,

see if I can find it.

Well, lots of luck.

Okay, see you later.

Okay.

Hoo-hoo?

Hoo-hoo?

Hoo-hoo?

Lucy?

Hoo-hoo?

Oh, save your hoo-hoo.

This is the stupidest
trick she has pulled yet.

Wandering off by herself and
getting lost in the mountains.

Now, she didn't
do it on purpose.

She's just looking for
the canoe. I told you that.

Yes, you told me about 20 times.

Well, I have had it.

We have looked long enough.

We might just as well give
up and go back to camp.

Oh, no! Now we've
just got to find her!

Why?!

Oh, Mr. Mooney, now
you don't mean that.

I most certainly do.

Now I have had it!

We are going back to camp,

call the forest ranger and
report a lost den mother.

Oh!

- Wait a minute!
- What?

- Look!
- Huh?

Lucy's hair!

Oh, and I wanted to
be the one to scalp her!

Now this means she's
around here somewhere!

Come on. Let's go.

We'll find her.

All right, all right,
well, now let's see.

She might be over
here behind these rocks.

Hoo-hoo?! Lucy?!

Hoo-hoo?! Mr. Mooney?!

Mr. Mooney?! Lucy?!

Whoo-hoo?! Whoo-hoo?!

Who said, "Whoo-hoo"?!

Whoo-hoo, Lucy?!

Viv, is that you?

Yes!

Hooray, you found me!

Where are you, Viv?

Lucy?! Lucy, where'd you go?!

I'm over here. Where are you?

Listen, we'll just
keep yoo-hooing,

and that way we'll
find each other, huh?

- Okay!
- Yoo-hoo?! Yoo-hoo?!

- Hoo-hoo!
- Yoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo! -Yoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo!
- Yoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo! -Yoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

Hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo! -Whoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo! -Whoo-hoo!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, am
I glad to see you!

Oh, Lucy. Oh, and
I've got your hair!

- I found your hair there on a bush...
- I know.

And I didn't know what
had happened to you, Lucy.

I didn't even know I lost it.

- I've been running around here for hours.
- Oh, oh.

- Oh, yes!
- I'm so glad to see you.

Lead me back to camp, please.

- Lucy?
- What?

I'm lost, too.

You can't be!

Well, okay.

Would you like to follow
me for a few minutes

and see for yourself?

Oh, this is a fine mess.

Now we're both lost.

What do we do?

I don't know.

Did you bring anything
to eat with you?

No, I didn't know this was
gonna turn into an all-day picnic.

I'm absolutely starved.

About an hour ago,
I saw a wild turkey

and I was so desperate,
I tried to catch him,

but he was too fast for me.

How were you gonna cook
him after you caught him?

Well, I was gonna
catch him first

and worry how to cook him later.

Good thinking.

Listen, we just gotta
get back to camp

or I'm gonna faint from hunger.

Now, Viv, let's think.

Maybe, maybe there's
something we can remember

from the Scout Handbook
that would, that would show us

how to get out of the woods.

- I got it!
- What?

Follow the North Star!

Oh, good! Good thinking!

- Not in the daylight.
- Yeah.

Shee!

Viv, I see that turkey again.

Ready?

Hey, it's Mr. Mooney!

- Oh, Mr. Mooney!
- Oh, no!

Oh, Mr. Mooney! Oh, Mr. Mooney!

Come on. Help me bring him to.

Listen, before we bring
him to, let's look to see

- if he's got something to eat.
- Lucy!

Where, where am I? Where am I?

- You're all right, Mr. Mooney.
- You're all right.

It's all right.

Come on. Stand right
up there, Mr. Mooney.

Yeah, you're lucky we
came along when we did.

Oh?

Yeah, we found you
sprawled here in the pathway.

You did? Oh. Ooh! Ooh!

What's the matter?

Oh, my head is throbbing!

Oh.

Ooh! The last thing I remember
is something hitting me.

Oh.

It was a big rock.

How, how do you know?

- Well...
- Well, it must have been a rock.

You know, this is
a, this is an area

where they have
a lot of avalanches.

A lot, a lot of falling
rocks around here.

I see.

Oh, Mr. Mooney, we're
so happy to see you.

Do you know that
we're both lost now?

- Oh?
- Yeah.

Yeah, both of us.

Yeah, you better
lead us back to camp.

Oh, yeah, sure,
sure, I'd be glad to.

And we'd better hurry, so we
can get back before it gets dark.

- Yeah.
- Yes, sir.

All right, come along.

- Now, Mr. Mooney, Mr. Mooney?
- Yes? Yes?

Are you sure you
know the way back?

Well, of course.

With a veteran woodsman
like me, you couldn't go wrong.

You're in better hands than if
you were with Daniel Boone.

- Good.
- Now, come on.

We'll go right off this way.

What's the matter?

The three of us are lost.

Oh, you're some Daniel Boone.

We'd have been better
off with Pat Boone.

Now being nasty won't help.

Nothing's gonna help.

We're just gonna circle
around these rocks

the rest of our lives!

Oh, now, now, now,
all we have to do

is stay calm and
keep our hopes up.

We'll just stay right
here in one place,

and they're bound to find us.

Who, the vultures?

Tut-tut-tut, let's
not talk like that.

Oh, my, this going to sound
nice at the pack meeting.

No arrows, no canoes,

no tracking, no
relics and no fun!

We failed at everything.

We're never gonna
get to the World's Fair.

We've never even
gonna get back to camp.

Oh, Viv, we'll get
back to camp, all right.

Do you really believe that?

No!

Neither do I!

Oh, now, now, now,
now, Indians don't cry.

Well, Indians
don't get lost either!

Oh, now-now-now-now-now,
pull yourselves together.

Come on now. Come on.

Yeah, he's right, Viv.

Crying isn't gonna do any good.

Yep. We might as
well face the situation.

Sure, we all have
to go sometime.

Oh, now, Mr. Mooney.

Oh, Mr. Mooney.

It isn't that I mind going.

It's just that I don't
want to go with her!

I don't want to go with her!

Now, don't cry.

Indians! Indians!

Oh, we're saved!

We're saved! We're
saved! They found us!

Oh, I'm so glad to see you!

Oh, are we glad to see you!

How did you ever find us?

We tracked you Indian-style.

Oh, did you hear that?

They tracked us Indian-style.

Boy, we've had a swell time.

- Really?
- We had bow-and-arrow practice.

No kidding? Where'd
you get the arrows?

We made arrows out of sticks.

You see, Mr. Mooney?

And we found some
keen Indian relics.

You did? Buried deep
in the hillside, right?

No, right in your wigwam.

Hey, bow-and-arrow practice,
Indian relics and tracking,

our project's gonna be
a big success after all.

Yeah, we're a cinch to
get to the World's Fair.

- Want us to lead you back to camp?
- Yeah.

Yeah, why not?

Okay, I'll lead the way.

Everybody, single file. Come on.

Get in there, boys.

And remember now, everybody,

keep your eye on the
person ahead of you.

Remember that.

Follow me. Let's go.

Here we go. All right. Let's go.

There we are. That's it.

Keep your eyes on
the person ahead now.

Remember that.

Keep your eye on the
person ahead of you.

Yes, I heard you!

Don't forget it!
It's very important!

Yoo-hoo, Jerry?!

Yoo-hoo, Sherman?!

Yoo-hoo, Billy,
Arnold, where are you?!

Jerry?

How could you
lose 16 Cub Scouts?

I told you to keep your eye
on the person ahead of you!

Well, I tried, but Jerry's
so little and so quick.

Come on.

- Jerry?
- Sherman?

Yoo-hoo, Arnold?

- Our canoe!
- Our canoe!

- Here's our canoe!
- Oh, the canoe!

I told you it would drift
into the edge of the lake!

I told ya!

Now we can paddle
across to the camp.

- Yeah. -Okay.
- Fine.

All right... Uh-uh-uh!

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Now this canoe is built to
take only two people in safety.

So two of us will go
across to the camp,

one of us will come
back and get the other.

Okay, Viv and I will send
somebody back for you.

Wait! Hold it, hold it!

Hold, hold, hold, hold it.

I am the one to
get in the canoe...

At least me, because
I am an expert canoer.

Well, I'm the one
who should go first.

I'm the one who's been
lost out here the longest,

and I'm the hungriest.

Oh, no, now I have to
go because I don't want

to stay by myself
because I'm the scaredest.

All right, all right, we'll
do this fair and square.

We will draw straws.

Okay. Straws, did
you find some yet?

Just a minute. I'll find...

Here we are. Here we are.

Now we'll fix this.

And there are two long
ones and one short one.

And the short one stays. Now...

I'll hold the straws.

You don't trust me,
your sagamore?

Oh, you were impeached
as sagamore a long time ago.

I got a long one!

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I got one, too!

Okay, who cheated?!

All right, come on, Mrs. Bagley.

We'll get in. I'll hold it.

You hold it while I get in.

You get in. Step
in the middle there.

Are you sure it'll
only hold two?

I am absolutely positive.

That's right. Now there we are.

Can you get in there?

Yes, I'm all set. Now...

You won't forget to come
back and get me, will you?

No, no, but it's a
tempting thought.

All right, Mrs. Bagley.

Shall we go?

- Yes, let's shove off.
- Okay.

Now we'll get the
paddles out of here.

- Listen. Mr. Mooney, I don't trust you!
- What?

I don't trust you! I'm
not taking any chances!

So, that's where all
the Lux soap went to.

I'll take that, thanks.

But, Mom, I'm trying to build
the highest tower in the world.

Well, all us girls
are trying to have

the softest
complexion in the world.

After all, that's
what Lux soap is for.

Sure, I know... "It
softens as it cleanses."

That's right... cleanses!

The bathtub's thataway.

But, Mom, I took
a bath last night.

Sure, only this time, use soap.

The Lucy Show was
brought to you by...

new Lux.

New in shape.

New in luxury.

It softens as it cleanses.

New Lux.

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