The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 2, Episode 19 - Ethel Merman and the Boy Scout Show - full transcript
Ethel Merman, AKA Agnes Schmidlapp, is staying with Lucy and Viv and has agreed to sing at the Cub Scout charity show. As the girls create the costumes, Lucy becomes a bit resentful that she can not perform at the show. Agnes whip...
ANNOUNCER:
Starring Lucille Ball.
Costarring Vivian Vance.
Honestly, you know,
I think this is probably
the most humiliating
experience of my life.
Our very own sons are producing
the Boy Scout Show,
and what am I?
A wardrobe mistress.
If you think that's humiliating,
how would you like to be the
wardrobe mistress' assistant?
Well, the whole thing
is just incredible.
You and I, the stars
of last year's show,
not even on the program
this year.
Who would believe it?
Anyone who saw last year's show.
You know what burns me up?
Just because Ethel Merman
is in the show,
everybody in Dan field
auditioned.
And who were the first two
to audition?
That well-known team of Lucille
Carmichael and Vivian Bagley.
Well, that's different.
We've got talent.
You know what really
burns me up
is the way Ethel decided
who would be in the show.
She drew the names out of a hat.
It was all fair and square.
Well, she sure picked a rotten
time to be fair and square.
Oh, for heaven's sake, Lucy,
give me that jacket.
Nothing's been right
since she moved in here.
You know, I'm just getting
a little bit tired
of the high-handed way
that she...
Oh, Ethel, darling.
-Hi, Lucy!
-Hi.
Listen, I want to ask your
opinion about something.
-Oh, what? -Well, the
Scoutmaster has an idea
that I should sing
"Red, Red Robin".
And the Cub Scouts
could be in costume,
and then do a little dance
around me
-while I sing.
-Uh-huh.
Uh, Jerry, Sherman,
come on down.
Come on.
Oh, look at that!
-Isn't it cute? -Weill
-Ah...
Come on, now.
Let's get set, now.
Get your feathers up,
all right.
Ready? All right,
here we go.
♪ When the red,
red robin comes
♪ Bob, bob,
bobbin' along, along ♪
♪ There'll be no more sobbin' ♪
♪ When he starts throbbin'
his old, sweet song. ♪
(laughs)
It's corny, but cute.
I want to ask your opinion.
Yeah, oh, I know.
You want to know if I think
the number will play.
No. No. I want to know
if you can make
24 robin costumes by Saturday.
Oh.
Well, I don't know.
24 costumes in three days.
That's eight robins a day.
Well, I'm not asking you
to do it all by hand.
What if I get you
a sewing machine?
Would that help any?
Why not?
That's the spirit that I like!
Most people would be grumbling,
because they're not out there
in front of the footlights.
But all you think of
is the good of the show.
Yeah, that's about all I think of.
Just the good of the show.
Well, boys,
you're the producers.
Is the number in?
I think it's good.
I think it will stop the show.
Okay, then the number is in.
Now, go on upstairs
and take off your costumes.
We have to go over
to the auditorium.
-SHERMAN: Okay, Miss Merman.
-JERRY: Okay, Miss Merman.
We'll hurry, Miss Merman.
(mimicking boys):
Okay, Miss Merman.
Thank you, Miss Merman.
Okay, Miss Merman...
Merman, Merman, Merman.
That's all anybody talks about
around here.
You'd think she was
the biggest star on Broadway.
She is.
Come on, let's get busy.
We gotta make 24 robins.
Yeah, just standing here talking
has put us half a robin
behind already.
(doorbell ringing)
I have a big problem.
-Where's Miss Merman?
-She's up in her room.
Oh. Oh.
Miss Merman?
Whoo-hoo.
-Hi, Mr. Mooney.
-Miss Merman.
Uh, my daughter Rosemary,
the one who lives over
in Trenton, New Jersey,
just went to the hospital.
She's going to have
my first grandchild.
Congratulations!
That's wonder full
Congratulations!
That's marvelous!
Congratulations!
That's a shame.
-Shame?
-Yes, a shame.
You and Mrs. Mooney
won't be here Saturday night.
You won't be able
to be in the show.
And Viv and I'll have
to take your place.
Mrs. Mooney is perfectly capable
of getting to Trenton by herself.
I have no intention of going.
What kind of a grandfather
are you?
Any grandchild of mine
would want the show to go on!
Oh, now, Mr. Mooney,
uh, wouldn't you like to be
with your daughter?
Well, of course!
But I wouldn't dream
of letting Miss Merman down.
Now, here is my problem.
Who am I going to get
to be my new partner?
-Mel Mel
-No, no! Mel Mel Mel
-I asked first. -I asked first.
-Wait, don't...
-I asked first!
-As a matter of fact...
(overlapping chatter)
Now, wait 2 minute!
Wait a minute, girls!
I tell you what we'll do.
I'll write the names down
and put them in a hat
and draw one out.
Oh, goody, she's gonna be
fair and square again.
Now, Lucy, at least this time
one of us will win.
There. Vivian.
Lucy.
And the winner is...
-Vivian!
-(screams)
Oh, me?
(excited stammering)
Oh, Mr. Mooney, now, what number
are we going to do?
Uh, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips".
Oh, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips!"
- I know every word of that song.
-MR. MOONEY: Oh. Good, good.
(Vivian chattering excitedly)
Oh, Lucy, that was...
rehearsal was simply
marvelous, darling!
Is my costume pressed yet?
No, I've been a little busy
with my fine, feathered friends.
Why, Lucy, you only have
five robins finished.
I know, and I'm lucky to have
those done on this old wreck.
You'd better hurry.
I know.
I gotta get this relic back
to the Betsy Ross Museum.
Now, Lucy, that machine
isn't that old.
It isn't? When I looked
at the bobbin
it was full of red,
white and blue thread.
Say, Viv, by any chance,
did anybody drop out
of the show today,
you know, from sickness
or anything?
Oh, no.
We're a very healthy
little company.
Oh, I'm very glad to hear that.
Oh, Lucy, we're having
our dress rehearsal tonight.
So, uh, do my costume
right away.
I'll do it as soon
as I sweep the chimney,
wicked stepsister.
♪ When the bob, bob, bobbin'
comes ♪
♪ Bob, bob, bobbin' along... ♪
Hi, Lucy!
How are the robin costumes
coming along?
Oh, fine.
Except that I'm running
out of beaks.
Oh?
Don't worry,
we'll get you some more.
Say, the rehearsal went great.
Everybody's raving
about your costumes.
Thank you.
(sniffling)
(crying)
Lucy, are you crying?
Oh, no, no, I'm not crying.
But you are crying.
(crying): No, I'm not crying.
What's the matter?
Do you really want to know?
Yes, I do.
Well, you see, Ethel, all my life
I've wanted to be in show business.
Really?
Yes, really.
When I found out that you
were gonna be in the show,
I-I knew that the show
would be wonderful,
and-and I... I wanted
to be in it
more than anything else
in the world.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, I wanted...
I wanted to be a performer.
But instead of that,
what am I?
I'm an assembly line for birds.
Oh, I feel like a big monster.
Oh, you mustn't blame yourself,
Ethel.
No, it's all my fault!
-No, it isn't.
-Yes, it was my dumb idea
to put the names in a hat.
Well, you were just trying
to be fair and square.
You see,
all my life I've just wanted
to be discovered.
I've-I've always...
I've always wanted to see
my name up in lights.
L-U-C-I-L-L-E.
C-A-R-M-I-C-H-A-E-L.
Oh, kid, when you get
to Broadway,
you gotta get a shorter name.
Oh, well, I guess
I shouldn't cry about it.
After all, show business isn't
the only thing in the world.
It isn't?
(crying): Yes, it is!
(sobbing)
(both weeping)
What's going on down here?
What are you two crying about?
Oh, Lucy had her name in lights,
and I pulled out the plug.
Lucille had her name in lights?
Aw, shut up.
Hey, I have an ideal
I know how Lucy
could be in the show!
How?
Well, the show is too long
to add anything,
-so, you know what I'm gonna do?
-What?
I'm gonna cut one of my songs,
and you can go on instead.
Oh, Ethel.
Lucille wouldn't let you
cut one of your songs
just so she could be in the show.
Would you, Lucy?
Well...
Lucy!
How about you and I doing
a number together, Lucy?
Oh, Lucille singing a duet
with the great Ethel Merman?
She hasn't that much gall,
have you, Lucy?
Well...
Lucille!
What duet could we do, Ethel?
Oh, now, wait just a minute!
If she's gonna sing
with you, so am I!
You've got a number to do
with Mr. Mooney.
Oh, he can just tiptoe
through those tulips by himself.
Say, I know a big number
that everybody could be in,
including Mr. Mooney.
-What is it?
-Yes, what is it?
-VIVIAN: What?
-Well...
I-I-I don't know yet,
but I'll think of somethin'.
(instrumental of
"Luck Be a Lady" plays)
(applause)
(music stops)
(applause)
Thank you, Sherman Bagley.
You were sensation all
In just a moment,
we'll bring you our big
production number, but first,
if there are three flies
in the kitchen
which one is the cowboy?
The one on the range.
(applause)
Well, so much for humor.
And now for our spectacular
production number.
(lively intro playing)
♪ There's no business
like show business ♪
♪ Like no business I know
♪ Everything about it
Is appealing ♪
♪ Everything that
traffic will allow ♪
♪ Nowhere could you get
that happy feeling ♪
♪ When you are stealing
that extra bow
-I There's no people »
-There's no business
-♪ Like show people... ♪
-like show business.
That's perfectly true.
And so, tonight,
we want to present show business
through the years,
starting with the granddaddy
of them all, vaudeville.
Now, in those days,
every bill had a dog act,
acrobats, a singer
who played a banjo,
and of course, a juggler.
(lively classical music plays)
(applause)
And of course, no evening
of vaudeville was complete
without somebody doing
their interpretation
of the old song and dance.
(music begins)
♪ Tiptoe to your window ♪
-♪ To your window ♪
-♪ By your window ♪
♪ That is where I'll be ♪
♪ Come tiptoe
through the tulips
♪ With me ♪
♪ Tiptoe from your pillow ♪
♪ To the shadow ♪
-I Of the willow tree
-I By the willow tree &
♪ And tiptoe
through the tulips ♪
♪ With me ♪
♪ Knee-deep ♪
♪ In flowers we'll stray ♪
♪ We'll keep ♪
♪ The showers away
♪ And if I kiss you ♪
♪ In the garden,
in the moonlight -
♪ Will you pardon me? ♪
♪ And tiptoe
through the tulips ♪
IS With me. -
(applause)
Vaudeville was the only kind
of show business for many years,
but one day,
along came the flickers--
-Better known as silent movies.
-(piano play melodramatic tune)
(leisurely interlude plays)
(melodramatic theme resumes)
(gasps, whimpers)
(stomping footsteps)
(door closing)
By
(music crescendos,
then stops abruptly)
(music resumes)
By
(piano plays "Rock-a-bye, Baby")
(music stops)
(music resumes,
playing gentle melody)
(honky-tonk piano tune plays)
(applause)
And after the silent pictures
came the talkie.
(bright tune playing)
-♪ On the good ship Lollipop ♪
-(tap shoes clicking)
♪ It's a sweet trip
to a candy shop ♪
♪ Where bonbons play ♪
1 On the sunny beach
of Peppermint Bay
♪ Lemonade stands everywhere ♪
♪ Crackerjack bands
fill the air ♪
♪ And there you are ♪
♪ Happy landing
on a chocolate bar. ♪
(applause)
Meanwhile, on Broadway,
the musical comedy
was going strong.
The plots weren't much--
Boy meets girl, boy loses girl,
boy gets girl.
But nobody seemed to care,
because the music
was the main thing.
(upbeat orchestral music plays)
Oh, boy, we sure were lucky
to land jobs in the chorus
of a Broadway musical,
weren't we, girl?
Yeah, you said a mouthful, kiddo.
Oh, look.
Here comes our handsome
leading man.
Isn't he something?
Oh! He's the cat's meow!
-Girls, have you heard the news?
-No.
Well, tonight, right after the show,
the entire cast is invited to a party
aboard a millionaire's yacht.
-(squeals)
-(sighs)
Oh, wait till I go
and tell the rest of the girls.
-Ooh!
-(chuckling)
I don't believe
I've seen you before.
Well, I just joined the show
yesterday.
You did?
Yes, I did.
♪ I love you... ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ That's all that I can say ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ I love you. ♪.
Oh, happy day!
Oh!
(drumroll plays)
(applause)
Come along, sweetheart.
Who are you?
My daddy put up all the money
to back the show.
I'd better go.
I'm not thinking of myself,
but if the show closes,
what happens to all you kids
in the chorus?
& Am I blue?
Am I blue? »
♪ Ain't these tears
in these eyes ♪
♪ Telling you? ♪
Darling!
Our troubles are over.
A rich uncle left me
a million dollars.
I can keep the show
open by myself.
Oh, goody!
I got the boy.
I got the girl.
(piano chord plays)
And what have you got?
♪ I got rhythm ♪
♪ I got music ♪
♪ I got my man ♪
♪ Who could ask
for anything more? ♪
♪ Who could ask for anything ♪
♪ More? ♪
(applause)
Along about this time,
people started gathering around
and listening to a little box
full of tubes and wires,
and the big entertainment craze
was radio.
(brassy orchestral music plays)
All right, all right.
Round and round and round
she goes.
And where she stops,
nobody knows.
From Al to on a, Pennsylvania,
our next contestant:
a lady saxophone player,
and her rendition
of "Glow Worm".
(playing off-key ballad
with piano accompaniment)
All right, all right.
-(continues playing)
-Remember, the number to call
is Murray Hill 52799...
(applause)
(saxophone fading out)
And then came television,
and everybody
started staying home,
because show business
was right in their living room.
One of the biggest hits
was The Ed Sullivan Show.
It was on this show
that brand-new forms
of entertainment
were seen for the first time
by the American audiences.
(lively classical music plays)
(applause)
Today, if you're lucky enough
to get tickets
to a big Broadway hit--
say, Gypsy--
You would see the curtains part,
and standing center stage
would be Ethel Merman singing...
(applause)
♪ You'll be swell ♪
♪ You'll be great ♪
♪ Gonna have the whole world
on a plate ♪
♪ Starting here ♪
♪ Starting now ♪
♪ Honey, everything's
coming up roses ♪
♪ Clear the decks ♪
♪ Clear the tracks ♪
♪ You've got nothing to do
but relax ♪
♪ Blow a kiss
♪ Take a bow
♪ Honey, everything's
coming up roses ♪
♪ Now's your inning ♪
♪ Stand the world on its ear ♪
♪ Set it spinning ♪
♪ That'll be
just the beginning ♪
♪ Curtain up ♪
♪ Light the lights
♪ You got nothing to hit
but the heights
♪ You'll be swell ♪
♪ You'll be great ♪
♪ I can tell ♪
♪ Just you wait ♪
♪ That lucky star I talk about ♪
♪ Is due ♪
♪ Honey, everything's
coming up ♪
♪ Roses and daffodils ♪
♪ Everything's coming up ♪
♪ Sunshine and Santa Claus ♪
♪ Everything's gonna be ♪
♪ Bright lights and lollipops
♪ Everything's coming up roses ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ And for ♪
♪ You! ♪
(applause)
(lively intro playing)
♪ There's no people
like show people
♪ They smile when they are low ♪
♪ Even with a turkey
that you know will fold ♪
♪ You may be stranded
out in the cold ♪
♪ But still you wouldn't
change it for a sack of gold ♪
♪ Let's go on with the show ♪
♪ Let's go on with the... ♪
♪ Show. ♪
(applause)
Starring Lucille Ball.
Costarring Vivian Vance.
Honestly, you know,
I think this is probably
the most humiliating
experience of my life.
Our very own sons are producing
the Boy Scout Show,
and what am I?
A wardrobe mistress.
If you think that's humiliating,
how would you like to be the
wardrobe mistress' assistant?
Well, the whole thing
is just incredible.
You and I, the stars
of last year's show,
not even on the program
this year.
Who would believe it?
Anyone who saw last year's show.
You know what burns me up?
Just because Ethel Merman
is in the show,
everybody in Dan field
auditioned.
And who were the first two
to audition?
That well-known team of Lucille
Carmichael and Vivian Bagley.
Well, that's different.
We've got talent.
You know what really
burns me up
is the way Ethel decided
who would be in the show.
She drew the names out of a hat.
It was all fair and square.
Well, she sure picked a rotten
time to be fair and square.
Oh, for heaven's sake, Lucy,
give me that jacket.
Nothing's been right
since she moved in here.
You know, I'm just getting
a little bit tired
of the high-handed way
that she...
Oh, Ethel, darling.
-Hi, Lucy!
-Hi.
Listen, I want to ask your
opinion about something.
-Oh, what? -Well, the
Scoutmaster has an idea
that I should sing
"Red, Red Robin".
And the Cub Scouts
could be in costume,
and then do a little dance
around me
-while I sing.
-Uh-huh.
Uh, Jerry, Sherman,
come on down.
Come on.
Oh, look at that!
-Isn't it cute? -Weill
-Ah...
Come on, now.
Let's get set, now.
Get your feathers up,
all right.
Ready? All right,
here we go.
♪ When the red,
red robin comes
♪ Bob, bob,
bobbin' along, along ♪
♪ There'll be no more sobbin' ♪
♪ When he starts throbbin'
his old, sweet song. ♪
(laughs)
It's corny, but cute.
I want to ask your opinion.
Yeah, oh, I know.
You want to know if I think
the number will play.
No. No. I want to know
if you can make
24 robin costumes by Saturday.
Oh.
Well, I don't know.
24 costumes in three days.
That's eight robins a day.
Well, I'm not asking you
to do it all by hand.
What if I get you
a sewing machine?
Would that help any?
Why not?
That's the spirit that I like!
Most people would be grumbling,
because they're not out there
in front of the footlights.
But all you think of
is the good of the show.
Yeah, that's about all I think of.
Just the good of the show.
Well, boys,
you're the producers.
Is the number in?
I think it's good.
I think it will stop the show.
Okay, then the number is in.
Now, go on upstairs
and take off your costumes.
We have to go over
to the auditorium.
-SHERMAN: Okay, Miss Merman.
-JERRY: Okay, Miss Merman.
We'll hurry, Miss Merman.
(mimicking boys):
Okay, Miss Merman.
Thank you, Miss Merman.
Okay, Miss Merman...
Merman, Merman, Merman.
That's all anybody talks about
around here.
You'd think she was
the biggest star on Broadway.
She is.
Come on, let's get busy.
We gotta make 24 robins.
Yeah, just standing here talking
has put us half a robin
behind already.
(doorbell ringing)
I have a big problem.
-Where's Miss Merman?
-She's up in her room.
Oh. Oh.
Miss Merman?
Whoo-hoo.
-Hi, Mr. Mooney.
-Miss Merman.
Uh, my daughter Rosemary,
the one who lives over
in Trenton, New Jersey,
just went to the hospital.
She's going to have
my first grandchild.
Congratulations!
That's wonder full
Congratulations!
That's marvelous!
Congratulations!
That's a shame.
-Shame?
-Yes, a shame.
You and Mrs. Mooney
won't be here Saturday night.
You won't be able
to be in the show.
And Viv and I'll have
to take your place.
Mrs. Mooney is perfectly capable
of getting to Trenton by herself.
I have no intention of going.
What kind of a grandfather
are you?
Any grandchild of mine
would want the show to go on!
Oh, now, Mr. Mooney,
uh, wouldn't you like to be
with your daughter?
Well, of course!
But I wouldn't dream
of letting Miss Merman down.
Now, here is my problem.
Who am I going to get
to be my new partner?
-Mel Mel
-No, no! Mel Mel Mel
-I asked first. -I asked first.
-Wait, don't...
-I asked first!
-As a matter of fact...
(overlapping chatter)
Now, wait 2 minute!
Wait a minute, girls!
I tell you what we'll do.
I'll write the names down
and put them in a hat
and draw one out.
Oh, goody, she's gonna be
fair and square again.
Now, Lucy, at least this time
one of us will win.
There. Vivian.
Lucy.
And the winner is...
-Vivian!
-(screams)
Oh, me?
(excited stammering)
Oh, Mr. Mooney, now, what number
are we going to do?
Uh, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips".
Oh, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips!"
- I know every word of that song.
-MR. MOONEY: Oh. Good, good.
(Vivian chattering excitedly)
Oh, Lucy, that was...
rehearsal was simply
marvelous, darling!
Is my costume pressed yet?
No, I've been a little busy
with my fine, feathered friends.
Why, Lucy, you only have
five robins finished.
I know, and I'm lucky to have
those done on this old wreck.
You'd better hurry.
I know.
I gotta get this relic back
to the Betsy Ross Museum.
Now, Lucy, that machine
isn't that old.
It isn't? When I looked
at the bobbin
it was full of red,
white and blue thread.
Say, Viv, by any chance,
did anybody drop out
of the show today,
you know, from sickness
or anything?
Oh, no.
We're a very healthy
little company.
Oh, I'm very glad to hear that.
Oh, Lucy, we're having
our dress rehearsal tonight.
So, uh, do my costume
right away.
I'll do it as soon
as I sweep the chimney,
wicked stepsister.
♪ When the bob, bob, bobbin'
comes ♪
♪ Bob, bob, bobbin' along... ♪
Hi, Lucy!
How are the robin costumes
coming along?
Oh, fine.
Except that I'm running
out of beaks.
Oh?
Don't worry,
we'll get you some more.
Say, the rehearsal went great.
Everybody's raving
about your costumes.
Thank you.
(sniffling)
(crying)
Lucy, are you crying?
Oh, no, no, I'm not crying.
But you are crying.
(crying): No, I'm not crying.
What's the matter?
Do you really want to know?
Yes, I do.
Well, you see, Ethel, all my life
I've wanted to be in show business.
Really?
Yes, really.
When I found out that you
were gonna be in the show,
I-I knew that the show
would be wonderful,
and-and I... I wanted
to be in it
more than anything else
in the world.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, I wanted...
I wanted to be a performer.
But instead of that,
what am I?
I'm an assembly line for birds.
Oh, I feel like a big monster.
Oh, you mustn't blame yourself,
Ethel.
No, it's all my fault!
-No, it isn't.
-Yes, it was my dumb idea
to put the names in a hat.
Well, you were just trying
to be fair and square.
You see,
all my life I've just wanted
to be discovered.
I've-I've always...
I've always wanted to see
my name up in lights.
L-U-C-I-L-L-E.
C-A-R-M-I-C-H-A-E-L.
Oh, kid, when you get
to Broadway,
you gotta get a shorter name.
Oh, well, I guess
I shouldn't cry about it.
After all, show business isn't
the only thing in the world.
It isn't?
(crying): Yes, it is!
(sobbing)
(both weeping)
What's going on down here?
What are you two crying about?
Oh, Lucy had her name in lights,
and I pulled out the plug.
Lucille had her name in lights?
Aw, shut up.
Hey, I have an ideal
I know how Lucy
could be in the show!
How?
Well, the show is too long
to add anything,
-so, you know what I'm gonna do?
-What?
I'm gonna cut one of my songs,
and you can go on instead.
Oh, Ethel.
Lucille wouldn't let you
cut one of your songs
just so she could be in the show.
Would you, Lucy?
Well...
Lucy!
How about you and I doing
a number together, Lucy?
Oh, Lucille singing a duet
with the great Ethel Merman?
She hasn't that much gall,
have you, Lucy?
Well...
Lucille!
What duet could we do, Ethel?
Oh, now, wait just a minute!
If she's gonna sing
with you, so am I!
You've got a number to do
with Mr. Mooney.
Oh, he can just tiptoe
through those tulips by himself.
Say, I know a big number
that everybody could be in,
including Mr. Mooney.
-What is it?
-Yes, what is it?
-VIVIAN: What?
-Well...
I-I-I don't know yet,
but I'll think of somethin'.
(instrumental of
"Luck Be a Lady" plays)
(applause)
(music stops)
(applause)
Thank you, Sherman Bagley.
You were sensation all
In just a moment,
we'll bring you our big
production number, but first,
if there are three flies
in the kitchen
which one is the cowboy?
The one on the range.
(applause)
Well, so much for humor.
And now for our spectacular
production number.
(lively intro playing)
♪ There's no business
like show business ♪
♪ Like no business I know
♪ Everything about it
Is appealing ♪
♪ Everything that
traffic will allow ♪
♪ Nowhere could you get
that happy feeling ♪
♪ When you are stealing
that extra bow
-I There's no people »
-There's no business
-♪ Like show people... ♪
-like show business.
That's perfectly true.
And so, tonight,
we want to present show business
through the years,
starting with the granddaddy
of them all, vaudeville.
Now, in those days,
every bill had a dog act,
acrobats, a singer
who played a banjo,
and of course, a juggler.
(lively classical music plays)
(applause)
And of course, no evening
of vaudeville was complete
without somebody doing
their interpretation
of the old song and dance.
(music begins)
♪ Tiptoe to your window ♪
-♪ To your window ♪
-♪ By your window ♪
♪ That is where I'll be ♪
♪ Come tiptoe
through the tulips
♪ With me ♪
♪ Tiptoe from your pillow ♪
♪ To the shadow ♪
-I Of the willow tree
-I By the willow tree &
♪ And tiptoe
through the tulips ♪
♪ With me ♪
♪ Knee-deep ♪
♪ In flowers we'll stray ♪
♪ We'll keep ♪
♪ The showers away
♪ And if I kiss you ♪
♪ In the garden,
in the moonlight -
♪ Will you pardon me? ♪
♪ And tiptoe
through the tulips ♪
IS With me. -
(applause)
Vaudeville was the only kind
of show business for many years,
but one day,
along came the flickers--
-Better known as silent movies.
-(piano play melodramatic tune)
(leisurely interlude plays)
(melodramatic theme resumes)
(gasps, whimpers)
(stomping footsteps)
(door closing)
By
(music crescendos,
then stops abruptly)
(music resumes)
By
(piano plays "Rock-a-bye, Baby")
(music stops)
(music resumes,
playing gentle melody)
(honky-tonk piano tune plays)
(applause)
And after the silent pictures
came the talkie.
(bright tune playing)
-♪ On the good ship Lollipop ♪
-(tap shoes clicking)
♪ It's a sweet trip
to a candy shop ♪
♪ Where bonbons play ♪
1 On the sunny beach
of Peppermint Bay
♪ Lemonade stands everywhere ♪
♪ Crackerjack bands
fill the air ♪
♪ And there you are ♪
♪ Happy landing
on a chocolate bar. ♪
(applause)
Meanwhile, on Broadway,
the musical comedy
was going strong.
The plots weren't much--
Boy meets girl, boy loses girl,
boy gets girl.
But nobody seemed to care,
because the music
was the main thing.
(upbeat orchestral music plays)
Oh, boy, we sure were lucky
to land jobs in the chorus
of a Broadway musical,
weren't we, girl?
Yeah, you said a mouthful, kiddo.
Oh, look.
Here comes our handsome
leading man.
Isn't he something?
Oh! He's the cat's meow!
-Girls, have you heard the news?
-No.
Well, tonight, right after the show,
the entire cast is invited to a party
aboard a millionaire's yacht.
-(squeals)
-(sighs)
Oh, wait till I go
and tell the rest of the girls.
-Ooh!
-(chuckling)
I don't believe
I've seen you before.
Well, I just joined the show
yesterday.
You did?
Yes, I did.
♪ I love you... ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ That's all that I can say ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ I love you. ♪.
Oh, happy day!
Oh!
(drumroll plays)
(applause)
Come along, sweetheart.
Who are you?
My daddy put up all the money
to back the show.
I'd better go.
I'm not thinking of myself,
but if the show closes,
what happens to all you kids
in the chorus?
& Am I blue?
Am I blue? »
♪ Ain't these tears
in these eyes ♪
♪ Telling you? ♪
Darling!
Our troubles are over.
A rich uncle left me
a million dollars.
I can keep the show
open by myself.
Oh, goody!
I got the boy.
I got the girl.
(piano chord plays)
And what have you got?
♪ I got rhythm ♪
♪ I got music ♪
♪ I got my man ♪
♪ Who could ask
for anything more? ♪
♪ Who could ask for anything ♪
♪ More? ♪
(applause)
Along about this time,
people started gathering around
and listening to a little box
full of tubes and wires,
and the big entertainment craze
was radio.
(brassy orchestral music plays)
All right, all right.
Round and round and round
she goes.
And where she stops,
nobody knows.
From Al to on a, Pennsylvania,
our next contestant:
a lady saxophone player,
and her rendition
of "Glow Worm".
(playing off-key ballad
with piano accompaniment)
All right, all right.
-(continues playing)
-Remember, the number to call
is Murray Hill 52799...
(applause)
(saxophone fading out)
And then came television,
and everybody
started staying home,
because show business
was right in their living room.
One of the biggest hits
was The Ed Sullivan Show.
It was on this show
that brand-new forms
of entertainment
were seen for the first time
by the American audiences.
(lively classical music plays)
(applause)
Today, if you're lucky enough
to get tickets
to a big Broadway hit--
say, Gypsy--
You would see the curtains part,
and standing center stage
would be Ethel Merman singing...
(applause)
♪ You'll be swell ♪
♪ You'll be great ♪
♪ Gonna have the whole world
on a plate ♪
♪ Starting here ♪
♪ Starting now ♪
♪ Honey, everything's
coming up roses ♪
♪ Clear the decks ♪
♪ Clear the tracks ♪
♪ You've got nothing to do
but relax ♪
♪ Blow a kiss
♪ Take a bow
♪ Honey, everything's
coming up roses ♪
♪ Now's your inning ♪
♪ Stand the world on its ear ♪
♪ Set it spinning ♪
♪ That'll be
just the beginning ♪
♪ Curtain up ♪
♪ Light the lights
♪ You got nothing to hit
but the heights
♪ You'll be swell ♪
♪ You'll be great ♪
♪ I can tell ♪
♪ Just you wait ♪
♪ That lucky star I talk about ♪
♪ Is due ♪
♪ Honey, everything's
coming up ♪
♪ Roses and daffodils ♪
♪ Everything's coming up ♪
♪ Sunshine and Santa Claus ♪
♪ Everything's gonna be ♪
♪ Bright lights and lollipops
♪ Everything's coming up roses ♪
♪ For me ♪
♪ And for ♪
♪ You! ♪
(applause)
(lively intro playing)
♪ There's no people
like show people
♪ They smile when they are low ♪
♪ Even with a turkey
that you know will fold ♪
♪ You may be stranded
out in the cold ♪
♪ But still you wouldn't
change it for a sack of gold ♪
♪ Let's go on with the show ♪
♪ Let's go on with the... ♪
♪ Show. ♪
(applause)