The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 1, Episode 27 - Lucy Is a Chaperone - full transcript
Lucy and Vivian chaperone a vacation for Chris and her friends. After they over hear the girls saying that they're old, they try to be like teenagers and have fun with the girls and their friends.
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Lucy, aren't you
about to finish?
I need some room
to start dinner.
This is the last one.
Is Chrissy going to
take all these clothes
just for one week at Sandy Cove?
That's right. Here's her list.
"Six pairs of capris,
four sweaters,
"two pairs of Bermuda
shorts, three sweatshirts,
"one pair of jeans, a jacket,
"four pairs of sneakers,
two shifts, five
bathing suits..."
And if, for some strange reason,
she should want to look
like a girl... one dress.
Has she got luggage
enough for all these clothes?
Oh, sure.
Maybe I'll have to carry
my things in a paper bag.
You can borrow my suitcase.
Too late. Chris beat me to it.
Oh, dear.
Lucy, I certainly
admire your nerve...
Chaperoning a club of
teenage girls for a whole week.
Well, I think it'd
kind of be fun.
Are you sure you don't want to
change your mind and come along?
No, thanks. I wouldn't fit in.
I'm too old to be a teenager,
and too young to die.
Of all the creeps,
Debbie Wescott's
father is the creepiest!
Chris, I hardly think it proper
for you to call your
school principal a creep.
But he won't let Debbie
go with us to Sandy Cove.
And if Debbie Wescott can't go,
the other girls' parents
won't let them go, either.
So it looks like
the whole trip is off.
Well, did you tell Mr. Wescott
that I was going with you?
Yes, but he still said no.
What a drag!
Oh, I just think that's a shame.
I'm finally old enough
to go to Sandy Cove,
and what does that
old rinky-dink do? Chop!
Well, wait... maybe I
could call Mr. Wescott
and get him to change his mind.
Oh-ho, that'll be the day!
Well, it's worth a try.
Go ahead, Lucy.
Give old rinky-dink
a ding-a-ling.
Hello?
Hello. Mr. Wescott?
Yes.
Uh, this is Mrs. Carmichael.
Oh?
Chris' mother?
Uh, in case you
don't remember me,
at the last PTA cake sale,
I was the pineapple upside-down.
Oh, yes.
Uh, what can I do for
you, Mrs. Carmichael?
Well, it's about the
girls' beach party.
I was hoping you'd change
your mind about Debbie.
Sorry, Mrs. Carmichael,
I can't do that.
I have my daughter's
welfare to think of,
and I have the reputation
of Danfield High
School to consider.
But Mr. Wescott, I'm
going to be the chaperone,
and I plan to supervise
the girls very closely.
Nothing personal, of course,
but one woman can't
possibly keep a close watch
on eight girls for a whole week.
Oh, uh, uh, didn't
Debbie tell you?
There are going to
be two chaperones.
Uh, yes. The other chaperone
is a very dear friend of mine.
She's a lovely older person.
Yeah, she's very
responsible and dependable,
and she's had loads of
experience with younger people.
Uh, she's practically a nanny.
A nanny, eh?
Well, of course, if
there are two of you...
All right.
In that case, Debbie can go.
She can go. Oh!
But Mrs. Carmichael,
if anything goes wrong,
I can promise you
I'll abolish every girls'
club at Danfield High.
Oh, Mr. Wescott, you
don't have to worry.
You will never regret this.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Oh, gee, thanks, Mom!
Oh, you're the greatest!
I've got to call the girls.
How about...? Lucy...
Now, Viv, I don't blame
you for being mad,
but having two
chaperones is what sold him.
Now be a sport. What do you say?
Nanny doesn't live here anymore.
Oh, come on, Viv, say yes.
Nothing doing.
But Jerry and Sherman
are going to visit Uncle Ned.
You don't have a single
thing to do next week.
Oh, no, I face the
boring prospect
of sleeping till noon,
sitting around the
house nibbling chocolates
and reading trashy novels.
You can do the same thing
at Sandy Cove and
get a tan, besides.
Well...
Come on, say yes.
Oh, all right. Good girl!
Oh, wait a minute. Can't go.
Why not?
Chris is using my suitcase.
Oh, well, don't you
worry. I'll take care of that.
When I go to the store,
I'll get you a paper bag, too.
Hey, girls, look!
Oh. GIRL: Oh.
Debbie, you look
choice as a blonde.
You're too much as a redhead.
Want to swap? Sure.
Hey, girls, look.
I feel just like
Jayne Mansfield.
Oh, you're kidding.
Gee, am I glad my
father finally let me come.
Oh, me, too. Thanks.
Debbie, I don't know
how you stand it.
If my father was the
school principal, I'd die!
I'd really die!
Yeah, it's flaky.
Hey, girls,
what are we going
to do all week?
I mean, besides our
hair and our nails?
I wonder if there
are any boys around.
Are there!
Now, Georgie Blake
and his club have
the cottage next door;
there are 12 choice
strangers on the other side;
and our whole football
team's across the road.
Wow! Boysville!
Hey, you know that
real tall, good-looking guy
that looks like Paul Newman?
Yeah. Well, anyway,
He asked me... Hey, Chris?
Yes? Why don't we
call somebody up?
Yeah. We can't.
There's no phone.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
No phone?! I'll die!
I'll really die!
Hey, maybe later we can
take a walk up the beach
and check the action.
Yeah, take a walk up the
beach and check the action.
- That'll be fun.
- Okay, kids,
your beds are all made up.
Oh, thanks, Mom.
Thanks, Mrs. Carmichael.
Well, look at this.
What is that?
Some kind of a
new jitterbug step?
Jitterbug?!
This is the mashed potato!
Oh.
Oh, the mashed potato.
Yeah, now that I see
it, what else could it be?
Yeah.
Okay, kids, let's go to bed.
Bed?
You're kidding!
We were going to take a walk
up the beach and check the action.
Well, now, you've got a
whole week to check the action.
We've had a long
drive, and we're all tired.
No, we're not.
Yes, you are.
Okay, up to bed.
To bed, to bed, to
bed! Come on now.
And give me the pop bottle.
But our vacation!
No pop, no candy.
Give me the candy.
Oh, Mother!
And don't take the radio.
All of you are going
to sleep, not dance.
"Wash hash
a-tut a dud rur a-gug."
Yeah, "wash head tud yuck sus."
Well, that wasn't a very
nice thing for them to say!
It wasn't?
What'd they say?
They called us two
"dud uh gug ee yak sus."
Is that bad?
It means we're two old fogies.
How did you know that?
Oh, it's a kind of
language teenagers speak
when they don't
want us old fogies
to know what they're saying.
Oh. How did you ever learn it?
Little Jerry figured it out
and slipped me the code.
Oh.
Oh, what a mess this place is.
You know, Viv, the
kids have got a point.
It would be kind of a drag
spending a whole week
here with two old fogies.
That's what chaperones
are supposed to be.
Not necessarily.
We could be two young fogies.
We could turn
ourselves into teenagers.
And just how do you
propose to do that,
short of plastic surgery?
Well, we could act
and talk like teenagers.
What's that?
The mashed potato.
Lucy, I think you got
lumps in your gravy.
Viv, don't you see?
We've got to get to
be part of the gang.
That way, we can
keep an eye on the girls
without them resenting us.
Okay, we'll talk
about it in the morning.
No, we're gonna
talk about it tonight.
I'm going to teach you a few
basic teenage slang words
right now.
Now, for instance,
"choice," "groovy"
and "tough" all mean "good."
"Tough" means "good"?! Yeah.
Oh, boy, these teenagers
just don't make any
kind of sense today.
No, they don't make
sense like we used to, Viv.
Greetings, Gate.
Let's cut a rug.
Hubba...
Hubba, hubba.
Okay, "tough" means "good."
Yeah, now try to
think like a teenager.
"Fink, creepy, scuzzy,
"grumpy, drippy,
raunchy" and "flaky."
What do they sound like?
Like Snow White got
hold of the wrong dwarfs.
Nah, they all mean "bad."
They do?! Yeah.
Ho-ho!
And "diddly, diddly, diddly"...
That means, "and so forth,
and so forth, and so forth."
Good. If I ever get stuck,
I'll just say, "Diddly
diddly diddly."
Now... Now, when you
leave a place, you split.
When you leave
a place, you split?
Yeah.
And somebody
funny "cracks you up."
Mm-hmm.
And when you're
enjoying yourself,
you're "having a blast."
See, it's very easy.
Easy?! That's tough.
There, now you're catching on.
Whew! Lucy?
What? Don't you think I
ought to shut the window?
And shut out that
marvelous ocean breeze?
Oh, boy, we're really
going to sleep tonight, Viv.
Okay.
Good night.
Pleasant dreamsville.
Ho-ho...
Oh, there's a mosquito in here!
He must've come in on
that marvelous ocean breeze.
That was not a mosquito.
Mosquitoes come
later in the summer.
Well, now, this one may
have come a little early
to take advantage
of the off-season rate.
Oh, you're right!
And he brought a
friend to share expenses.
Oh, Lucy, this is terrible!
Now what are we going to do?
I think I saw some
mosquito netting here.
Oh, to think I could be home
with a bonbon and a book
instead of in this flaky place.
Here... spread it across
the whole, uh, bed.
All right. Both beds.
Oh...
Plenty around here and plenty
for our heads up at the top.
Oh! Ooh! Oh!
Oh! Ooh, girl!
Pull that side over.
Ooh! Ugh!
Ooh! Whew! Gee!
Lucy?
What?
Do I look like a new bride?
You look more like
an old beekeeper.
Good night. Good night.
Good thing we got this netting.
Biggest mosquito
I ever saw flew by.
Lucy, will you please
go to Sleepsville?
Boy, he is a big one.
If I didn't know he
was a mosquito,
I'd swear he was a bat.
That was a bat!
A bat! That was... aah!
Aah! A bat!
That was a bat! Oh, a bat!
Help!
It's really a bat!
It really is a bat, Viv!
Oh, not a bat!
Cover up. Keep
your head covered.
Oh, Lucy, what'll we do?
Where are you
going? What'll we do?
Over here. Where? Where?
Oh! Oh, dear heavens...
Lucy, open the door!
Open the door!
♪ Will you be true to ♪
♪ One who'll love
you till he dies ♪
♪ Else I'll have
to say good-bye. ♪
Hey, what was all that
screaming at your pad last night?
A bat got in the house
and gave our chaperones a fit.
They were so scared, they
stayed in the closet for two hours.
Well, what do you know.
The bat just replaced the
dog as man's best friend.
I didn't even see it.
I slept through the whole thing.
Me, too.
If I ever saw a bat, I'd die!
I'd really die!
Listen, Cynthia,
if you ever see
a bat, just cool it.
They won't bug you,
if you don't bug them.
Let's go! Come on!
Go, Bill!
Hold it!
Don't look now...
Well, Viv, move the bod.
We've found the action.
Oh, boy! Funsville!
Hi, gang! Keep it blasting!
Keep it going down there!
All out for fun!
Chop!
Do you know those weirdos?
The lead weirdo is my mother.
Oh, I'm sorry. So am I.
They're our chaperones.
What are they up
to? I don't know.
Hey, Bill, what are we
going to do with them?
Oh, I don't know.
Where's that bat
when you need him?
We're going to have to do
something drastic to shake them.
It looks like Gluesville.
Really. LUCY: Hi there, gang.
We came to make the action.
Hello, there, kids.
Hi, there, everybody.
Hey, how about this
weather, Viv? Ain't it tough?
Oh, it is groovy fink!
Oh, what I mean is,
uh, diddly, diddly, diddly.
Mother, these are the
boys from next door.
This is my mother
and Mrs. Bagley.
Hi, there. How do you
do, Mrs. Carmichael?
Oh, you can cool that
"Mrs. Carmichael" jazz.
Just think of me
as one of the chicks.
Yes, sir, chop on
that "Mrs. Bagley."
Uh, say, how about
another song, Bill?
Yeah! Neato! Yeah!
Yeah!
Hey, one at a time.
Hey, do you know
"Big Girls Don't Cry"?
Yeah. Hey, we know that, Viv.
Let's do it. Yeah,
we know that one.
Let's do it, huh?
"Big Girls Don't Cry."
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry-aye-aye ♪
♪ They don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls ♪
♪ Don't cry ♪
♪ My girl said
good-bye-aye-aye ♪
♪ My, oh, my ♪
♪ My girl ♪
♪ Didn't cry ♪
♪ I wonder why ♪
♪ I'm a fool ♪
♪ Silly fool ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry-aye-aye ♪
♪ They don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls ♪
♪ Don't cry. ♪
How about that?
Boy, I love that song!
That is a wailin'
song, isn't it?
Yeah, do you know another song?
How about the "Surfer's Stomp"?
Sure, I know that
one. You know that?
Would you play
that? Well, get going!
We're going to do
that, "Surfer's Stomp."
What are we going
to do with them?
I know how we can
get rid of them. How?
Hey, everybody! Limbo!
Everybody get in line!
We're going to limbo!
Everybody limbo!
Lucy...
what's limbo? How do I know?
If they limbo, we limbo!
Come on, you can do it!
Yay!
Oh, wait a minute now, Lucy.
If you think I'm
going to do that,
you are out to lunch.
Why don't you sit
down and watch?
"Sit down and watch"?
Nothing doing!
Get up there, Viv!
Me?! You can do that.
Oh, Lucy! Sure, come on.
Come on, get going.
That beat there,
fellas. Make that beat.
Keep that beat! Keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Keep
that beat! Keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Keep that beat!
That's very good!
All right, keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Get going.
Wow! That's a blast!
That's a blast!
Yes, that was very
good, Mom. Thank you.
Thank you. Lucy, I'm
going to go in the house.
Wait a minute.
Why do you want to split?
Because my pants just did.
All right, go change your
clothes and hurry back
We've got to keep
making this scene.
Oh, diddly, diddly, diddly.
One down and one to go!
Hey, Cynthia, hold
it for me, okay?
Sure.
Lower it just about there now.
Oh, this is fun!
I dig this! I dig this!
Now, then...
Keep the beat!
Keep the beat! Keep the beat!
Keep the beat!
Well, uh, that's enough of that.
We're going to do
something else now.
We're going to
play... volleyball.
Yeah, volleyball! Get
the ball! Get the ball!
You sit down and watch.
We're going to play volleyball!
Hey, Georgie!
Okay, I'm the captain!
I got the ball!
Oh, what team am I on?
Let's go! Let's go!
Come on, kids!
Everybody ready? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's go!
Hey, you guys, won't it be nice
to be underwater and get away
from that overgrown Gidget?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Well, I'm all ready
for the underwater bit.
Last one in's a rotten fink!
Is that you, Mother?
Yeah, where's the gang?
They got back a long time ago.
Oh. I guess I'm not
very fast on my flippers.
Mom...
I want to talk to you.
Well, can't you wait
till I change my clothes?
Oh, boy.
Now I know why they
call this a "wet suit."
Mother, you've ruined
my spring vacation!
Do you mean to tell
me I came all the way up
from the bottom of the ocean
to hear my own daughter
say a thing like that?
Oh, Mom.
It's just that we
kids don't want
you and Aunt Viv
to act like teenagers.
You don't?
No! If you're going
to be chaperones,
act like chaperones.
Well, last night you
called us two "old fogeys."
Well, that's because you
made us go to bed so early.
It didn't mean anything.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
I'll try to make it up to you.
You ask the fellas to come over
and we'll have a
party tonight. A party?
Yeah, yeah, and Aunt Viv
and I will be chaperones,
and we promise to stay
way in the background
and do nothing but "shap."
Oh, that's neato!
Wait a minute, Mom.
"Old fogey"?
How long have you been able
to understand our
secret language?
Oh, a couple years now.
Chop!
Diddly, diddly, diddly!
Hey, Viv, isn't
it nice to be able
to act like ourselves again?
Uh-huh.
I wasn't cut out
to be a teenager,
even when I was a teenager.
Hey, Debbie?
What time are your
folks going to come up?
I hope never.
Nobody else's
parents are coming up.
Oh, why did I have to
be a principal's daughter?
It's Freaksville!
This is great, Mrs.
Carmichael. Thank you.
Well, Chris?
Is this a beautiful
blast? Uh, party?
It's a wonderful party, Mom.
Okay.
My hair! Lucy!
Cover your heads!
Cover your heads!
Cover your heads!
What's going on here?!
Daddy! Mother!
Oh, Mr. Wescott...
Mrs. Carmichael.
I warned you about wild parties!
Oh, Mr. Wescott,
this isn't a wild party.
We were chasing a bat.
Oh, come now!
She's right!
She's right, really!
I don't see any bat.
Do you Elizabeth?
No, Kenneth, I do not.
Well, it was here a minute ago.
We must have chased it away.
Elizabeth,
wait in the car.
I'll handle this.
Yes, Kenneth.
But, Daddy, there was a bat.
He must have
flown out the window.
Debbie, you pack
your things! But, Daddy!
And your club is
under suspension
until further notice.
Oh, Mr. Wescott,
that's not fair.
You must believe me.
This was very innocent.
I know a rumble when I see one.
Kenneth!
It is a bat!
It's in the car!
Mrs. Carmichael!
Believe me, Mr. Wescott,
I was aiming at the bat!
That one!
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Lucy, aren't you
about to finish?
I need some room
to start dinner.
This is the last one.
Is Chrissy going to
take all these clothes
just for one week at Sandy Cove?
That's right. Here's her list.
"Six pairs of capris,
four sweaters,
"two pairs of Bermuda
shorts, three sweatshirts,
"one pair of jeans, a jacket,
"four pairs of sneakers,
two shifts, five
bathing suits..."
And if, for some strange reason,
she should want to look
like a girl... one dress.
Has she got luggage
enough for all these clothes?
Oh, sure.
Maybe I'll have to carry
my things in a paper bag.
You can borrow my suitcase.
Too late. Chris beat me to it.
Oh, dear.
Lucy, I certainly
admire your nerve...
Chaperoning a club of
teenage girls for a whole week.
Well, I think it'd
kind of be fun.
Are you sure you don't want to
change your mind and come along?
No, thanks. I wouldn't fit in.
I'm too old to be a teenager,
and too young to die.
Of all the creeps,
Debbie Wescott's
father is the creepiest!
Chris, I hardly think it proper
for you to call your
school principal a creep.
But he won't let Debbie
go with us to Sandy Cove.
And if Debbie Wescott can't go,
the other girls' parents
won't let them go, either.
So it looks like
the whole trip is off.
Well, did you tell Mr. Wescott
that I was going with you?
Yes, but he still said no.
What a drag!
Oh, I just think that's a shame.
I'm finally old enough
to go to Sandy Cove,
and what does that
old rinky-dink do? Chop!
Well, wait... maybe I
could call Mr. Wescott
and get him to change his mind.
Oh-ho, that'll be the day!
Well, it's worth a try.
Go ahead, Lucy.
Give old rinky-dink
a ding-a-ling.
Hello?
Hello. Mr. Wescott?
Yes.
Uh, this is Mrs. Carmichael.
Oh?
Chris' mother?
Uh, in case you
don't remember me,
at the last PTA cake sale,
I was the pineapple upside-down.
Oh, yes.
Uh, what can I do for
you, Mrs. Carmichael?
Well, it's about the
girls' beach party.
I was hoping you'd change
your mind about Debbie.
Sorry, Mrs. Carmichael,
I can't do that.
I have my daughter's
welfare to think of,
and I have the reputation
of Danfield High
School to consider.
But Mr. Wescott, I'm
going to be the chaperone,
and I plan to supervise
the girls very closely.
Nothing personal, of course,
but one woman can't
possibly keep a close watch
on eight girls for a whole week.
Oh, uh, uh, didn't
Debbie tell you?
There are going to
be two chaperones.
Uh, yes. The other chaperone
is a very dear friend of mine.
She's a lovely older person.
Yeah, she's very
responsible and dependable,
and she's had loads of
experience with younger people.
Uh, she's practically a nanny.
A nanny, eh?
Well, of course, if
there are two of you...
All right.
In that case, Debbie can go.
She can go. Oh!
But Mrs. Carmichael,
if anything goes wrong,
I can promise you
I'll abolish every girls'
club at Danfield High.
Oh, Mr. Wescott, you
don't have to worry.
You will never regret this.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Oh, gee, thanks, Mom!
Oh, you're the greatest!
I've got to call the girls.
How about...? Lucy...
Now, Viv, I don't blame
you for being mad,
but having two
chaperones is what sold him.
Now be a sport. What do you say?
Nanny doesn't live here anymore.
Oh, come on, Viv, say yes.
Nothing doing.
But Jerry and Sherman
are going to visit Uncle Ned.
You don't have a single
thing to do next week.
Oh, no, I face the
boring prospect
of sleeping till noon,
sitting around the
house nibbling chocolates
and reading trashy novels.
You can do the same thing
at Sandy Cove and
get a tan, besides.
Well...
Come on, say yes.
Oh, all right. Good girl!
Oh, wait a minute. Can't go.
Why not?
Chris is using my suitcase.
Oh, well, don't you
worry. I'll take care of that.
When I go to the store,
I'll get you a paper bag, too.
Hey, girls, look!
Oh. GIRL: Oh.
Debbie, you look
choice as a blonde.
You're too much as a redhead.
Want to swap? Sure.
Hey, girls, look.
I feel just like
Jayne Mansfield.
Oh, you're kidding.
Gee, am I glad my
father finally let me come.
Oh, me, too. Thanks.
Debbie, I don't know
how you stand it.
If my father was the
school principal, I'd die!
I'd really die!
Yeah, it's flaky.
Hey, girls,
what are we going
to do all week?
I mean, besides our
hair and our nails?
I wonder if there
are any boys around.
Are there!
Now, Georgie Blake
and his club have
the cottage next door;
there are 12 choice
strangers on the other side;
and our whole football
team's across the road.
Wow! Boysville!
Hey, you know that
real tall, good-looking guy
that looks like Paul Newman?
Yeah. Well, anyway,
He asked me... Hey, Chris?
Yes? Why don't we
call somebody up?
Yeah. We can't.
There's no phone.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
No phone?! I'll die!
I'll really die!
Hey, maybe later we can
take a walk up the beach
and check the action.
Yeah, take a walk up the
beach and check the action.
- That'll be fun.
- Okay, kids,
your beds are all made up.
Oh, thanks, Mom.
Thanks, Mrs. Carmichael.
Well, look at this.
What is that?
Some kind of a
new jitterbug step?
Jitterbug?!
This is the mashed potato!
Oh.
Oh, the mashed potato.
Yeah, now that I see
it, what else could it be?
Yeah.
Okay, kids, let's go to bed.
Bed?
You're kidding!
We were going to take a walk
up the beach and check the action.
Well, now, you've got a
whole week to check the action.
We've had a long
drive, and we're all tired.
No, we're not.
Yes, you are.
Okay, up to bed.
To bed, to bed, to
bed! Come on now.
And give me the pop bottle.
But our vacation!
No pop, no candy.
Give me the candy.
Oh, Mother!
And don't take the radio.
All of you are going
to sleep, not dance.
"Wash hash
a-tut a dud rur a-gug."
Yeah, "wash head tud yuck sus."
Well, that wasn't a very
nice thing for them to say!
It wasn't?
What'd they say?
They called us two
"dud uh gug ee yak sus."
Is that bad?
It means we're two old fogies.
How did you know that?
Oh, it's a kind of
language teenagers speak
when they don't
want us old fogies
to know what they're saying.
Oh. How did you ever learn it?
Little Jerry figured it out
and slipped me the code.
Oh.
Oh, what a mess this place is.
You know, Viv, the
kids have got a point.
It would be kind of a drag
spending a whole week
here with two old fogies.
That's what chaperones
are supposed to be.
Not necessarily.
We could be two young fogies.
We could turn
ourselves into teenagers.
And just how do you
propose to do that,
short of plastic surgery?
Well, we could act
and talk like teenagers.
What's that?
The mashed potato.
Lucy, I think you got
lumps in your gravy.
Viv, don't you see?
We've got to get to
be part of the gang.
That way, we can
keep an eye on the girls
without them resenting us.
Okay, we'll talk
about it in the morning.
No, we're gonna
talk about it tonight.
I'm going to teach you a few
basic teenage slang words
right now.
Now, for instance,
"choice," "groovy"
and "tough" all mean "good."
"Tough" means "good"?! Yeah.
Oh, boy, these teenagers
just don't make any
kind of sense today.
No, they don't make
sense like we used to, Viv.
Greetings, Gate.
Let's cut a rug.
Hubba...
Hubba, hubba.
Okay, "tough" means "good."
Yeah, now try to
think like a teenager.
"Fink, creepy, scuzzy,
"grumpy, drippy,
raunchy" and "flaky."
What do they sound like?
Like Snow White got
hold of the wrong dwarfs.
Nah, they all mean "bad."
They do?! Yeah.
Ho-ho!
And "diddly, diddly, diddly"...
That means, "and so forth,
and so forth, and so forth."
Good. If I ever get stuck,
I'll just say, "Diddly
diddly diddly."
Now... Now, when you
leave a place, you split.
When you leave
a place, you split?
Yeah.
And somebody
funny "cracks you up."
Mm-hmm.
And when you're
enjoying yourself,
you're "having a blast."
See, it's very easy.
Easy?! That's tough.
There, now you're catching on.
Whew! Lucy?
What? Don't you think I
ought to shut the window?
And shut out that
marvelous ocean breeze?
Oh, boy, we're really
going to sleep tonight, Viv.
Okay.
Good night.
Pleasant dreamsville.
Ho-ho...
Oh, there's a mosquito in here!
He must've come in on
that marvelous ocean breeze.
That was not a mosquito.
Mosquitoes come
later in the summer.
Well, now, this one may
have come a little early
to take advantage
of the off-season rate.
Oh, you're right!
And he brought a
friend to share expenses.
Oh, Lucy, this is terrible!
Now what are we going to do?
I think I saw some
mosquito netting here.
Oh, to think I could be home
with a bonbon and a book
instead of in this flaky place.
Here... spread it across
the whole, uh, bed.
All right. Both beds.
Oh...
Plenty around here and plenty
for our heads up at the top.
Oh! Ooh! Oh!
Oh! Ooh, girl!
Pull that side over.
Ooh! Ugh!
Ooh! Whew! Gee!
Lucy?
What?
Do I look like a new bride?
You look more like
an old beekeeper.
Good night. Good night.
Good thing we got this netting.
Biggest mosquito
I ever saw flew by.
Lucy, will you please
go to Sleepsville?
Boy, he is a big one.
If I didn't know he
was a mosquito,
I'd swear he was a bat.
That was a bat!
A bat! That was... aah!
Aah! A bat!
That was a bat! Oh, a bat!
Help!
It's really a bat!
It really is a bat, Viv!
Oh, not a bat!
Cover up. Keep
your head covered.
Oh, Lucy, what'll we do?
Where are you
going? What'll we do?
Over here. Where? Where?
Oh! Oh, dear heavens...
Lucy, open the door!
Open the door!
♪ Will you be true to ♪
♪ One who'll love
you till he dies ♪
♪ Else I'll have
to say good-bye. ♪
Hey, what was all that
screaming at your pad last night?
A bat got in the house
and gave our chaperones a fit.
They were so scared, they
stayed in the closet for two hours.
Well, what do you know.
The bat just replaced the
dog as man's best friend.
I didn't even see it.
I slept through the whole thing.
Me, too.
If I ever saw a bat, I'd die!
I'd really die!
Listen, Cynthia,
if you ever see
a bat, just cool it.
They won't bug you,
if you don't bug them.
Let's go! Come on!
Go, Bill!
Hold it!
Don't look now...
Well, Viv, move the bod.
We've found the action.
Oh, boy! Funsville!
Hi, gang! Keep it blasting!
Keep it going down there!
All out for fun!
Chop!
Do you know those weirdos?
The lead weirdo is my mother.
Oh, I'm sorry. So am I.
They're our chaperones.
What are they up
to? I don't know.
Hey, Bill, what are we
going to do with them?
Oh, I don't know.
Where's that bat
when you need him?
We're going to have to do
something drastic to shake them.
It looks like Gluesville.
Really. LUCY: Hi there, gang.
We came to make the action.
Hello, there, kids.
Hi, there, everybody.
Hey, how about this
weather, Viv? Ain't it tough?
Oh, it is groovy fink!
Oh, what I mean is,
uh, diddly, diddly, diddly.
Mother, these are the
boys from next door.
This is my mother
and Mrs. Bagley.
Hi, there. How do you
do, Mrs. Carmichael?
Oh, you can cool that
"Mrs. Carmichael" jazz.
Just think of me
as one of the chicks.
Yes, sir, chop on
that "Mrs. Bagley."
Uh, say, how about
another song, Bill?
Yeah! Neato! Yeah!
Yeah!
Hey, one at a time.
Hey, do you know
"Big Girls Don't Cry"?
Yeah. Hey, we know that, Viv.
Let's do it. Yeah,
we know that one.
Let's do it, huh?
"Big Girls Don't Cry."
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry-aye-aye ♪
♪ They don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls ♪
♪ Don't cry ♪
♪ My girl said
good-bye-aye-aye ♪
♪ My, oh, my ♪
♪ My girl ♪
♪ Didn't cry ♪
♪ I wonder why ♪
♪ I'm a fool ♪
♪ Silly fool ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry-aye-aye ♪
♪ They don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls don't cry ♪
♪ Big girls ♪
♪ Don't cry. ♪
How about that?
Boy, I love that song!
That is a wailin'
song, isn't it?
Yeah, do you know another song?
How about the "Surfer's Stomp"?
Sure, I know that
one. You know that?
Would you play
that? Well, get going!
We're going to do
that, "Surfer's Stomp."
What are we going
to do with them?
I know how we can
get rid of them. How?
Hey, everybody! Limbo!
Everybody get in line!
We're going to limbo!
Everybody limbo!
Lucy...
what's limbo? How do I know?
If they limbo, we limbo!
Come on, you can do it!
Yay!
Oh, wait a minute now, Lucy.
If you think I'm
going to do that,
you are out to lunch.
Why don't you sit
down and watch?
"Sit down and watch"?
Nothing doing!
Get up there, Viv!
Me?! You can do that.
Oh, Lucy! Sure, come on.
Come on, get going.
That beat there,
fellas. Make that beat.
Keep that beat! Keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Keep
that beat! Keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Keep that beat!
That's very good!
All right, keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Keep that beat!
Keep that beat! Get going.
Wow! That's a blast!
That's a blast!
Yes, that was very
good, Mom. Thank you.
Thank you. Lucy, I'm
going to go in the house.
Wait a minute.
Why do you want to split?
Because my pants just did.
All right, go change your
clothes and hurry back
We've got to keep
making this scene.
Oh, diddly, diddly, diddly.
One down and one to go!
Hey, Cynthia, hold
it for me, okay?
Sure.
Lower it just about there now.
Oh, this is fun!
I dig this! I dig this!
Now, then...
Keep the beat!
Keep the beat! Keep the beat!
Keep the beat!
Well, uh, that's enough of that.
We're going to do
something else now.
We're going to
play... volleyball.
Yeah, volleyball! Get
the ball! Get the ball!
You sit down and watch.
We're going to play volleyball!
Hey, Georgie!
Okay, I'm the captain!
I got the ball!
Oh, what team am I on?
Let's go! Let's go!
Come on, kids!
Everybody ready? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Let's go!
Hey, you guys, won't it be nice
to be underwater and get away
from that overgrown Gidget?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Well, I'm all ready
for the underwater bit.
Last one in's a rotten fink!
Is that you, Mother?
Yeah, where's the gang?
They got back a long time ago.
Oh. I guess I'm not
very fast on my flippers.
Mom...
I want to talk to you.
Well, can't you wait
till I change my clothes?
Oh, boy.
Now I know why they
call this a "wet suit."
Mother, you've ruined
my spring vacation!
Do you mean to tell
me I came all the way up
from the bottom of the ocean
to hear my own daughter
say a thing like that?
Oh, Mom.
It's just that we
kids don't want
you and Aunt Viv
to act like teenagers.
You don't?
No! If you're going
to be chaperones,
act like chaperones.
Well, last night you
called us two "old fogeys."
Well, that's because you
made us go to bed so early.
It didn't mean anything.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
I'll try to make it up to you.
You ask the fellas to come over
and we'll have a
party tonight. A party?
Yeah, yeah, and Aunt Viv
and I will be chaperones,
and we promise to stay
way in the background
and do nothing but "shap."
Oh, that's neato!
Wait a minute, Mom.
"Old fogey"?
How long have you been able
to understand our
secret language?
Oh, a couple years now.
Chop!
Diddly, diddly, diddly!
Hey, Viv, isn't
it nice to be able
to act like ourselves again?
Uh-huh.
I wasn't cut out
to be a teenager,
even when I was a teenager.
Hey, Debbie?
What time are your
folks going to come up?
I hope never.
Nobody else's
parents are coming up.
Oh, why did I have to
be a principal's daughter?
It's Freaksville!
This is great, Mrs.
Carmichael. Thank you.
Well, Chris?
Is this a beautiful
blast? Uh, party?
It's a wonderful party, Mom.
Okay.
My hair! Lucy!
Cover your heads!
Cover your heads!
Cover your heads!
What's going on here?!
Daddy! Mother!
Oh, Mr. Wescott...
Mrs. Carmichael.
I warned you about wild parties!
Oh, Mr. Wescott,
this isn't a wild party.
We were chasing a bat.
Oh, come now!
She's right!
She's right, really!
I don't see any bat.
Do you Elizabeth?
No, Kenneth, I do not.
Well, it was here a minute ago.
We must have chased it away.
Elizabeth,
wait in the car.
I'll handle this.
Yes, Kenneth.
But, Daddy, there was a bat.
He must have
flown out the window.
Debbie, you pack
your things! But, Daddy!
And your club is
under suspension
until further notice.
Oh, Mr. Wescott,
that's not fair.
You must believe me.
This was very innocent.
I know a rumble when I see one.
Kenneth!
It is a bat!
It's in the car!
Mrs. Carmichael!
Believe me, Mr. Wescott,
I was aiming at the bat!
That one!
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