The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 1, Episode 25 - Lucy Visits the White House - full transcript

Lucy and Vivian's sons boy scout club make a replica of the white house out of sugar cubes. The president is so impressed that he invites all of them to the white house to unveil it. Calamity ensues when the replica get destroyed on the train.

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That's it. Take a few more.

Okay, okay, the last
chimney is glued on.

Our sugar cube White
House is finished.

Everybody step back so
we can get a good look at it.

Boy, this is neat!

I'll bet this is the only
replica of the White House

in the world made
entirely of sugar cubes.

It looks just like the real one!

It sure does.

Look, there's Caroline
sliding down the banister.



Oh, I forgot something.

What?

Men, attention!

At ease!

May I ask a question?

Yes, Cub Simmons.

When we go to
Washington this weekend,

will we get to see
the real White House?

Yes, the White House,
Washington Monument, Congress...

Oh, we'll see the Pentagon
and the Lincoln Memorial.

We're going to see everything.

Mrs. Carmichael?

Yes, Cub Bagley?

Will we get to
meet the President?



Oh, I'm afraid
not. He's too busy.

Oh, rats!

I'd like to ask a question.

Yes, Cub Carmichael?

Why are we standing
around making small talk

when there's
refreshments in the kitchen?

Oh, I forgot all about it.
Help yourselves, fellas.

They're on the kitchen table.

Now, fellas, fellas, don't
fight over the cookies.

Don't fight over
the cookies now!

There's plenty of 'em.

Oh, Lucy, I gotta
hand it to you.

Choosing the United States
Government as our Cub Project

was really inspired.

Yeah, but I agree with Sherman.

What about?

About not meeting
the President. Rats!

Oh, for heaven's sake!

You can't ask to see the
President of the United States

just because you happen
to want to say hello.

You've got to have
a good reason.

Hey, I know!

People are always presenting
him with things, aren't they?

Uh-huh.

Well, I'm sure Jackie could
find room on the mantle

for a sugar cube White House.

Oh, now Lucy...!

Well, one good thing, Viv,

I'm pretty sure they won't

have one just like it.

I'll bet.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to call
the White House.

I can only hope that you mean
the White House Cafeteria.

Operator, would you please
get me the White House?

No, I don't mean the
White House Cafeteria.

I mean the White House
in Washington, D.C.

Yes, I'll speak to anyone.

My number is Klondike 5-4320.

They're ringing.

This is the most
ridiculous thing

I ever heard of
in my whole life.

Hello? Is this the White House?

Viv, it's really
the White House!

No kidding!

This is Mrs. Lucy Carmichael.

Could I speak to someone in

the President's office, please?

Thank you.

They're ringing
his office! Hello?

Uh, this is Mrs.
Lucy Carmichael,

den mother of Cub Scout Den
Eight in Danfield, New York.

Yes, we're all going to be
in Washington this weekend

and we were wondering
if we could stop in

and give the
President a little gift?

Well, the boys
made it themselves.

It's a replica of
the White House

made entirely out
of sugar cubes.

That's right. Oh, oh, fine.

Thank you, Mr. President.

He's checking his appointments.

Mr. President!

Viv, it was him!

Are you sure?!

Who else in the White
House would say "repliker".

Hello? Hello, Mr. President.

This is Vivian Bagley,
co-den mother of Den Eight.

What time would you like to
see us Saturday morning, sir,

Your Honor? President.

Mr. President?

At 8:00? Oh, we'll be there!

Oh, thank you so much!

Good-bye.

Viv, we're going to
meet the President!

I'll never wash
this phone again.

Hey, Sherman, is this our car?

No, we're all in the next car.

Okay. Come on, guys.

Sherman, do we really
get to sleep on the train?

Sure, eat dinner
and breakfast, too.

I must say, being a cub
scout is sure enriching my life.

Be careful, Viv, don't drop it.

I haven't dropped it yet

and you've backed me
through six Pullman cars!

Oh, here's our
compartment right here.

Can you open the door?

Yeah. Let's get
this thing in here.

Got it? Yeah.

All right, here we go.

Careful now.

Okay.

All right, push the door.

Lucy!

What?

It won't go through the door!

Oh, of course it will.

Push the door open.

I'm telling you it
won't go through.

Would you pardon us, please?

Oh, raise it up, Viv.

Just a minute, sir.

Straight up, Viv.

Sorry.

What'll we do?

Go on. Try to get through.

Turn it on its side.

Turn it way over.

Oh, no, Lucy, it'll
break off the portico!

Oh, for heavens sake!

Oh, this is a fine mess!

The only reason we spent our
good money on a compartment

was so we'd have a
place to put this thing.

All aboard!

Oh, come on, Viv,
we've got to get it in there.

I told you we should have
built the Washington Monument!

Pardon me.

Oh, raise it up again, Viv.

Way up, Viv.

And what are we playing, ladies
"London Bridge is Falling Down"?

Oh, Conductor. Conductor,
just a moment, please.

I'm, I'm very happy
you came along.

We are unable to get
this into our compartment,

so could you please
tell me where to store it?

I'm afraid there's no room.

Well, what about
the baggage car?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Items for the baggage
car must be at the station

30 minutes before boarding.

I'm afraid you'll have
to take it off the train.

Oh, oh, no, sir!
We can't do that.

We're going to give
this to the President.

You see, I'm a Cub mother
and our Cub Scouts made this.

This is a replica
of the White House.

No kidding?

I thought it was
Buckingham Palace.

Uh, sir, please, can't we
leave it here in the aisle?

No, it's against regulations.

Well, how about over
there near the door?

There's lots of room there.

Our regulations cover
every little nook and cranny.

Now, if you'll
excuse me, I'm busy.

Well!

Lucy, what are we
going to do with it?

We're going to put it
down right over there.

Oh, no, now Lucy, he said
that was against regulations.

Vivian, people who have an
appointment with the President

do not have to worry

about the petty
problems of minor officials.

Now come on.

Well...

Right over here. Yeah.

Now put the back
of that right up here.

Now careful. Don't drop it.

Oh, boy, that's heavy.

Hang on. Hang on. Shift my way.

Oh, good we're going!

We're going.

Well, Washington, here we come!

I'm starved.

Let's go find the boys
and have an early dinner.

Okay.

Oh, wasn't that a
delicious dinner?

I love to eat on trains.

Weren't the boys cute?

Yeah. I think they believe

the three desserts
go with all tickets.

Oh, no!

I don't believe it!

Oh, no, Viv!

Oh, Lucy, what happened to it?

That's what happened to it.

Oh, Lucy, all of our hard work!

Oh, no, Viv!

Oh, dear!

What are we gonna tell the boys?

What are we gonna
tell the President?

You don't suppose that
he'll settle for a replica

of Admiral Byrd's headquarters
at the South Pole, do you?

I don't think so.

Well, Viv, there's just
one thing we gotta do.

What's that?

It's tricky, but between
now and 8:00 in the morning,

we've got to rebuild
the White House.

We've got to do
something trickier than that.

What's trickier than that?

Between now and
8:00 tomorrow morning,

we've got to get a hold
of 3,000 sugar cubes!

Oh, well, I'll just go up and
ask for them in the dining car.

Oh, yeah,

I'm sure they keep 3,000
surplus sugar cubes on hand

for desperate den mothers.

Well, I'll get all
they can spare.

Oh, dear!

Wait a minute.

What? Give me the timetable.

What do you want with it?

Well, the train
stops a few places.

I'll get off and buy
all the sugar I can.

Yeah. Yeah, we stop in
Greenview in 15 minutes.

Oh, Lucy, forget it.

You'll never be able
to get that much sugar.

Viv, if we don't get the sugar
and don't build the White House,

we don't get to
meet the President.

I'll go talk to the
dining car steward.

You get ready to
get off in Greenview.

All right.

The tack is right
here. I'll saddle her up.

Good, fine. I'll
have a cup of coffee.

Easy, Annabelle.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, pardon me, sir.

Yes, what can I
do for you, ma'am?

Would you sell me some sugar?

I'm sorry, lady, I'm not
in the grocery business.

Oh, but I really need the sugar.

You see, I'm a den mother
and my Cub Scouts built

a replica of the White House,

and we're taking it to President
Kennedy, and it got broken,

and we have to build it again.

I'm sorry, lady.

But, but, please, this
is terribly important.

Give me one good reason
why you won't help me.

I'm a Republican!

But, sir, can't you do
it for the Cub Scouts?

They're bipartisan!

Look, lady, I have no idea
how many people are gonna

come in here tonight,

and I've got to have all the
sugar I got on hand, that's all.

Could I have a cup of coffee?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

There you are, ma'am.

Thank you.

Ten cents, please.

I've got a dime here someplace.

Uh-huh. Thank
you. There you are.

There was a draft there.

All right.

I'm susceptible.

Pardon me, but could I
bother you for the sugar?

Oh, why, certainly.

Thank you.

Oh.

My, do you like your
coffee that sweet?

This is for my horse.

Oh, does your horse
like his coffee that sweet?

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is certainly a
nice little stopover.

Thank you.

Last call for Train number
27 for Washington, D.C.

Hey, you! Just a minute!

You stole my sugar,
and I want it back!

Oh, no, den mothers never steal!

Annabelle!

Get your nose out of
that lady's handbag!

Hah? There it is, there it is!

The horse is eating the
sugar right out of your purse!

Well, now, maybe she's
not looking for sugar.

She might be looking for
something else, you know.

Like what?! Well,
like my-my-my billfold.

You've heard of a horse thief.

I'm gonna call the cops!

Oh, no, I left five
dollars on the counter.

Lady, I don't want your money!

All I want is my sugar!

All aboard!

My train!

Stop! I want my sugar back!

My train!

Oh, no!

Annabelle?

Annabelle, we got to...

Hey! Lady! Hey!

Viv...!

Viv...!

Whoa, Viv...!

What are you doing?!

What's the next stop?!

What?!

What's the next stop?!

Oh! Just a minute!

Hurry up!

Oh, you know I'm no
good with timetables!

Middlebrook! Middlebrook?

Yep. All right.

I'll have the conductor
wait for you there!

Okay, I'll wait for you!!

Giddyup, Annabelle!

Viv!

Where were you in Middlebrook?!

We waited for you
as long as we could!

Remember that tunnel
the train went through?

Yeah!

Annabelle's afraid of the dark!

Oh!

What's the next stop?!

The next stop?

Hurry up!

Uh, Flintridge!

Okay, I'll meet
you in Flintridge!

Come on, Annabelle!

What's the big idea?

I was waiting at Flintridge,
and the train didn't stop!

Oh, dear!

Oh, it doesn't stop on
Sundays and holidays!

Thanks a lot!

What's the next stop?

Scottsville!

Are you sure?!

Is this Thanksgiving
or Christmas?

No!

We'll see you there! Okay.

Come on, Annabelle!

Come in.

Mrs. Bagley, I can't
hold this train any longer.

I'll be late getting
into Washington.

But she said she'd meet
us here in Scottsville,

and she seemed to
have a very fast horse.

Mrs. Bagley, I hope you
won't think I'm an old grouch,

but I'm going to start my train!

Oh, please don't do that.

This is the last stop
before Washington, D.C.

You can't go without her.

Oh, can't I?!

All aboard!

Lucy!

Where have you been?!

Over every fence, wall and hedge

between Greenview
and Scottsville.

What happened?

Annabelle turned
out to be a jumper!

Oh, no!

Anytime she saw anything
a foot off the ground,

it was up and over!

Up and over!

Sometimes when she
couldn't find anything to jump,

we went up and over!

Aah...!

Oh...!

Oh, Lucy!

Lucy?

What?

Did you get the sugar?

I did. I did!

Viv, I want to tell
you, you haven't lived

until you've jumped
over a high fence

with 15 pounds of sugar
slapping you in your ribs.

Oh, dear!

I hope you didn't
break any of the cubes.

The cubes are fine.

I just hope my
ribs are all right.

Lucy? What?

What'd you do with Annabelle?

I tied her to a parking meter
and left my name and address

and told them I'd send the money
for whatever it costs to get her home.

Oh, no! What's the matter?

I forgot to put money
in the parking meter!

Annabelle's over parked.

Lucy? What?

I sure hate to ask you this
after all you've been through,

but did you
remember to buy glue?

Glue! Yeah, we have to have

something to stick the
sugar cubes together with.

Now, Lucy...

Oh, please don't cry.

Oh, don't cry, Lucy.

You mean we did all
that up and over for noth...

Now, Lucy, you
got all the sugar.

All I have to think of is something
else that'll make them stick together.

What'll make them
stick together?!

I know! What?

I got just the thing.
What have you got?

I brought all this
bubble gum along

in case the boys wanted it.

We can chew this up
and stick 'em together.

Bubble gum?!

We'll never be able to
put that thing together...

Start chewing!

Hey, Jerry, look at
the little rocking chair!

Yeah. Whose chair
was that, mister?

That chair belonged to
President Lincoln's son, Tad,

when he was just about your age.

No kidding!

Oh, excuse me, ladies.

Oh, Viv, I'm so nervous.

I don't know if I can remember
my presentation speech.

Maybe you'd better
go over it again, huh?

Yeah, I'd better.

Let's see, on behalf
of the Cub Scouts

of Danfield, New
York, pack, uh, pack...

57.57, den eight,

we'd like to present this
model White House to you,

the President of, uh...

the President... what's
he the President of?

The President of
the United States.

President of the
United States! Yes.

Oh, I'm so nervous.
Pardon me, ladies.

The president will see you now.

Oh, excuse me.

All right, boys, get into
a column of twos here.

We're all going
in right that way.

Little gentlemen, now, act nice.

We'll be proud of you,
now. Move, march, march.

Now, march, march.
That's it. Be polite.

All right, Lucy, let's go.

Oh... Viv. What's the matter?

My legs are all wobbly.

Oh, Lucy, don't drop
the White House!

Pardon me, ladies,
the president's waiting.

Oh, yes.

Lucy? Please...

What? I got to sit down.

Oh, you have to sit down?

J-Just a minute,
dear, just a minute.

How's that?

Feel better? Yeah.

I've never been so
nervous in my life.

Are you all right now?
Yeah. We'd better get in there.

All right, let's go.

Not keep the president
waiting. Come on.

Viv, I'm stuck. Oh, no,
Lucy, you're not stuck!

Viv, help me out of this.

Oh, good heavens!

Pull! Pull it off!

Oh, Lucy! Pull harder!

I can't pull any harder!

I'll break it, and
it's priceless!

I got to get it
off, Viv. Oh, dear!

What are we gonna do?

We can't keep the
president waiting.

Well, I guess I'll just have

to make the
presentation without you.

Oh, no, you don't!

I'm not gonna miss out
on meeting the president!

Oh, Viv...

Oh, Viv, please?

How do you do, Mr. President?

Come in, Mrs. Carmichael.

Don't be bashful.

I'm happy to see that, uh,

I'm not the only person who
is attached to a rocking chair.

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