The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 1, Episode 16 - Lucy and Viv Are Volunteer Firemen - full transcript
Lucy thinks that Danfield needs a fire department so she starts her own volunteer fire department made up of only women.
Starring Lucille Ball.
Costarring Vivian Vance.
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The Lucy Show is
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Who are you
writing to this time?
This is a special
delivery letter
to Senator John R. Dodds.
Not about our fire
department problem again?
Yes, the fire department
problem again.
I think this is the best
letter I've written yet.
Well, let's see.
"Dear Senator Dodds,
"I feel it is my
duty to point out
"an alarming situation
which exists here in Danfield.
"Because of
rezoning in the county,
"our fire department has
been transferred to Ridgeberry
"many, many miles away.
Yeah.
"As a result, in case of a fire,
"defenseless women
and little children
will be left helpless to
face a flaming inferno."
Don't you think you
ought to send a record
of "Hearts and
Flowers" along with this?
Never mind, read on.
"Until this outrageous
condition is rectified,
"the least you
can do for Danfield
"is to create a volunteer
fire department.
Yours very truly,
Lucille Carmichael."
Read the PS...
That's the best part.
"PS... I plan to vote for
you in the next election.
That is, if the polling
place hasn't burned down."
That ought to get it.
Oh, now, Lucy,
you've already written
the editor of the
Danfield Tribune,
our senator, our
congressman, our councilman.
Don't you think it's
about time you gave up?
No, I don't, not until
I get some action.
And I think you should
be writing letters, too.
Oh, no.
You don't get me
to fight City Hall.
I think you're
wasting your time.
All right, you can do
nothing if you want to,
but I'm not gonna sit around
and become the last
of the red-hot mamas.
Oh...
Hi, Mom!
Oh, hi! Oh, here they are!
Hi, darling.
Take off your jacket. LUCY:
How's everything, honey?
Gimme a kiss. Glad to see you.
Well, did anything interesting
happen today at school?
Gosh, yeah!
Captain Metcalf of the
Ridgeberry Fire Department
talked to the whole school
about fire prevention.
Well, that's more like it!
He said now that we didn't
have a fire department of our own,
we have to be very
careful about fire prevention.
I guess my letter stirred
up some action, after all.
He appointed us
all Junior Firemen.
Good for you! What
do you have to do?
We're supposed to check
for fire hazards in all homes.
Good idea!
Come on, let's get started.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Checking fire hazards.
In our home?
Sure.
Captain Metcalf says
most fires in the home
are due to negligence.
Well...
we certainly haven't
been negligent,
but you go ahead and
check to your heart's content.
Uh-oh, look at this!
Yeah, that's bad.
What? What?
This lamp cord is all frazzled.
Well, that's not my fault... I
got that lamp at an auction.
The cord was like
that when I got it.
A violation is a violation.
Look at that!
What now?
A greasy dust cloth!
After using, greasy
rags should be placed
in a covered metal can.
Very dangerous.
Well, that's her fault...
It's her dust cloth.
Oh, now, wait a minute, just
a second... that's her dust.
A violation is a violation.
Uh-oh!
Uh-oh!
What are you "uh-oh'ing" about?
This!
Well, the wire was broke,
so I put some tape around it.
Only qualified electricians
should repair wiring.
I can't afford a
qualified electrician.
I'm a qualified pauper.
Sorry, Mom...
a violation is a violation. A
violation is a violation. Yeah.
Come on, Jerry, we've
got to check the kitchen.
How do you like that?
We're raising a
couple of stool pigeons.
Can they put me in
jail for a frazzled cord?
Oh, no, they
won't put you in jail.
They'll probably just
condemn your house.
Great!
We just found eight
more violations,
and we haven't even
been upstairs yet.
Oh, boy! I'll bet I'll
have more violations
than any other
kid in the school!
How do you like that?
They probably get a prize
for putting us behind bars.
I'll get it, Viv.
Yes, sir?
Mrs. Carmichael? Yes?
I'm Captain Metcalf of the
Ridgeberry Fire Department.
Oh, won't you come in?
Thank you.
Captain Metcalf,
this is Mrs. Bagley.
How do you do,
Captain? How do you do?
I'm here on behalf
of the fire department.
It seems that your sons
turned in a report at school.
My goodness, you work fast!
That report was just
turned in this morning.
I know, but when
the school principal
called the chief on the phone
and told him about the report,
he said we got no time to lose.
Oh, well, you don't have
anything to worry about.
We've already
fixed every violation.
Really? Yes, sir.
We had an electrician
in, and you won't find a...
a frazzled hazard in the house.
No, sir, every little dust rag
has been put in a metal
can and told to stay there.
Glad to hear it.
Do you mind if I look
around? No, go right ahead.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
See what I mean?
Good.
Now, Mrs. Carmichael... Yes?
This cord here goes
to the television set.
That's right.
Where does this other cord go?
Well, that's
connected to the, uh...
uh... Where does
that cord go, Viv?
Don't ask me.
Well, now, it must go somewhere.
Let's see here.
Oh. Oh, here we are.
It goes right over here.
Oh, and up there.
Right along here.
Oh, here we are... it goes
right in that extension there.
Where does that ex...
where does that extension go?
Oh. Well, that goes
down here and, uh...
Oh, look at that...
It goes right across there!
That's a pretty
neat job, isn't it?
Here we are.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it goes right in here.
Yeah, it goes all
the way in here.
Oh... yeah.
It comes
right out there.
I think you're gaining on it.
Oh, here we are.
Here we are, right here.
Where does that extension go?
Well, now, we'll just find out.
Oh, look... these
are our babies' shoes.
Mm-hmm. We had
them done in bronze.
Did you ever do
anything like that?
No, no, no, no, I didn't.
Well, let's see, now, we
were following a little cord.
Let's see, now.
Oh, yes.
Uh-huh, here we go.
Up here.
Oh.
You haven't dusted in there
in about three weeks, girl.
Yeah, it comes right out here,
goes right under that rug.
I wonder where the next leg
of our little journey
will take us...
Well, it's got to end somewhere.
Oh!
Oh!
Well, at least you
found out where it ends.
Mrs. Carmichael, running
cords underneath rugs
is dangerous.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Now, now, listen, I don't
want to sound strict to you,
but the chief has
been on my neck.
It seems that
some nervous Nellie
has been writing letters to
everybody she can think of.
The mayor has been
pressing the chief for action,
and the chief's
been pressing me.
This woman must have written
to everybody but the president.
Give her time.
What do you mean?
Meet the press.
So you're the one!
Yeah, I'm nervous Nellie.
Now, now, now, don't
get me wrong, Nellie...
I-I-I mean, Mrs. Carmichael.
You see, I believe in
adequate fire protection,
just like you do.
But it's gonna
take a little time
to get this-this Da... this
Danfield situation in shape.
Mm-hmm. Well, I hope you
can find better things to do
than go around picking on
poor, innocent women's plugs!
Indeed, indeed we are.
We're organizing a volunteer
fire department right now.
Oh, really?
Well, it's nice to know there'll
be some men on the job.
Well, actually, since so many
men commute to New York,
our volunteer fire department
will be made up of women.
Really?
And seeing that
you are so interested,
we hope that you might
head our volunteer group.
Well, I'd be delighted!
Oh, she doesn't know very
much about putting out fires,
she's better at starting them.
Never mind, Viv.
Uh, Captain
Carmichael reporting.
When do we start, Chief?
Our first meeting is tomorrow
at the old firehouse... Captain.
Oh, well, I'll be there
along with my fellow
smoke-eater Bagley.
Oh, no, you don't.
You can eat that
smoke all by yourself.
Vivian... how would you like it
if as my first official
act as captain,
was to write on the
side of the firehouse,
"Vivian Bagley is chicken"?
Hand me my helmet.
I have her, and I have about
ten or 12 others, Captain,
and I tell you,
we are going to...
Oh, you'll have...
you'll have a...
Now, ladies, you'll
all get your chance.
Okay, Thelma, your turn.
Down we come, Thelma.
Thelma, come on, down the pole.
Thelma!
I don't think I can do it.
Now, come on, Thelma,
come down the pole.
There's nothing to it...
It's really a lot of fun.
That's it.
Take it easy.
Take it easy!
That's it, Thelma.
That's it.
You're down.
You're down, Thelma.
You're down,
Thelma. You're down.
You're down. That's it, honey.
You're all right.
You're okay.
There's really
nothing to it. Yeah...
Okay. Okay, Viv, you're next.
Viv, come down this pole.
Viv, this is your
captain speaking.
This is an order.
Vivian, come down here!
I'm down!
You march right up there
and come down the pole.
Not a chance!
Viv, that's not nice.
Girls, I was out there...
there's the cutest little stove.
We can have hot
tea and everything.
Oh, honestly, Viv,
that's not nice...
I am not coming down that pole!
Well, ladies!
Ladies, how's it going?
Oh, uh, hello, Chief.
Uh, everything's fine.
We were just having
a little pole practice.
Pole practice?
Yes, sir.
Well, that's fine, Mrs.,
uh... Captain Carmichael,
but, uh, you volunteers will
be working out of your homes,
so you won't have
to slide down the pole.
Oh. Well, Chief, I-I think
I told my crew everything
that you wanted me
to explain to them,
but if you have anything
else to add, go right ahead.
Thank you. Yes, sir.
Now if you'll all
step over here...
Step over here, all of you.
We'll, we'll work out
your truck assignments.
Oh, good!
Now, there's room
for five to stand
on each side of the truck.
Five.
Those on the left will
have charge of the hose,
the extinguishers and the axes.
So we can axe our way inside.
There'll be... quiet...
There'll be an axe for
everybody, don't worry.
Those on the right
will have charge of the ladders.
Step this way.
Step this way. Step this way.
Quiet, girls. Step this way.
Two will ride up front.
One will operate the siren,
and of course the driver.
Oh.
Now, who's the best driver?
Oh, I am! I am!
Whoa! Hold! Hold!
Hold! Hold it! Hold it!
Who had no traffic violations
during the past year?
Who had no traffic violations
within the past month?
Who has a car without
a dented fender?
I don't have a
dented fender! Good!
Oh, that's just because
she doesn't have a car!
He didn't ask that!
Hold! Hold it! Hold
it! Hold it! Hold it!
Please, please,
Captain Carmichael,
why don't you be the
driver during the first month?
Thank you.
After that, everyone
can take turns.
Oh, we get to take turns!
You promise that now?
You let us take the turn.
Now, listen, I-I think
I've had enough for today,
so if you'll pick up your
uniforms and equipment
in the back room, please.
Okay. Yeah, okay.
Pick up your uniforms.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, hold it!
Uh, I have a question that I
think is, uh, quite important.
Well, what is it?
How do we know
when there's a fire?
Oh, that is important.
Yes, that's, that's
quite important.
Yeah.
Step over this way.
Step over here.
Follow us closely.
Pay attention.
Now, one of you ladies
will be on duty at all times.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
When a call comes
in, and there's a fire,
you sound the alarm.
Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
When you hear that signal,
get here as fast as you can.
Now, it might be a good
idea if you all went home
and practiced putting on
your equipment and uniforms
as quick as you can. Yeah.
The most important thing
in fighting fires is speed.
Speed. I told you that.
Speed, I'll bet it
is. I told you that.
Now, now, I think... Gotta
think fast to fight a fire.
I-I think you can take
care of anything minor,
Yeah. And if anything
major comes up,
Ridgeberry Fire
Department will take care of it.
Oh, good. So if you
pick up your uniforms,
you're dismissed.
Oh, fine.
Oh, speed! We'll go
home and practice
and get back here
in a big hurry. Huh?
Viv, do you think we'll be able
to, to hear that alarm
clear over at our house?
Gee, I wonder.
I'd hate to miss my first fire.
Yeah. We'd better find out.
Yep.
Yeah, we'll be able to hear it!
Oh!
How fast did we make
the change that time?
A minute and 45 seconds.
Oh!
You know, I'll bet we could clip
15 seconds off that if we try.
Let's try it again.
Again?!
Oh, Lucy, I'm exhausted.
We've been
rehearsing all morning.
All right now, Viv.
Come on. Try it just
once more. Just for me.
Please.
Now just relax, sit back,
relax, read the magazine.
You know, any
ordinary afternoon.
Hark! I do believe
I hear the signal
from the firehouse!
I knew it!
A minute and 28 seconds!
Oh, that's enough!
If we cut off any more time,
we'll get there
before the fire starts!
Whew!
Oh!
Well, one thing...
it's very comforting
to know that in case
of an emergency,
we can be dressed and on our way
in a minute and 28 seconds.
Oh, that's very comforting.
I think these things are
important, Viv, I really do
or I wouldn't have
you rehearsing them.
I'm the Captain.
I feel that I have
to get these things done
to the best of my ability.
Yes, Captain.
You might make fun of 'em,
but I think they're very important.
Where are you going?
I'm going to go
upstairs and take a nap.
I want to see if
I can fall asleep
in one minute and 28 seconds.
Oh! Whew!
I'm gonna get some coffee.
Vivian! Vivian!
I thought you were upstairs!
It's a fire!
It's a fire! It's a...
Get over! Move over!
Lucy, the phone's ringing!
Now who can that be?
It's the phone.
Where's that...?
You get the clothes!
I'll get the clothes! Hello?
Thelma, I can't talk to you
now! I've got to put out a fire!
Thelma's one of the volunteers!
Oh, Thelma, what do you want?
Er-Ernie took the car.
Can we pick her up?
Took the car?! Yeah,
we can pick her up.
Yeah, we'll pick you up.
Be ready in a minute
and 28 seconds!
Hey!
Yes, we're coming!
Oh, we're coming!
Oh, Lucy! Oh, Lucy!
Yes!
Help me! Help me! Help me!
It's a real fire! Oh!
My zipper's stuck!
Your zipper?! Oh!
Oh, let it be stuck!
Nobody'll see it at a fire!
Oh, honestly...
Hold it! Oh, I got a
run in my stocking!
What difference does that make?!
Nobody will see it at a fire!
What if my pants burn off?
Oh, Lucy, that's a real... oh!
Of course it's a real fire!
I told you we should
have rehearsed more!
I got... All right.
Wait. That's my
coat! This is my...!
Oh, Vivian!
Look at the back! It
says "Bagley"! Look...
All right, all right!
Oh, we're coming, we're coming!
Of all the times to
mislay the keys to the car!
I... I don't...
I always know
where the keys are!
I always put...
Maybe I put 'em in the bowl.
Yo-yos! How many
yo-yos do these kids have?!
Where'd I put 'em?
How do I know what
you do with them?! What?
I know where they are!
Where?
I left them in the
car in case of fire!
Come on!
Where's the fire?!
Where's the fire?!
All right, everybody,
to your places...
Right over there!
You don't report to me!
Now, get over there!
All right, clang the bell!
All right, here we go!
What's the matter now?
I think we'd go faster
if we had a driver!
Oh, that's me!
Ready?
Here we go! Ready? Gotta turn...
Here we go!
Where are we going?
Wait a minute! Quiet! Quiet!
I took the call! Yeah?
Grandma Sutton's
cat is up a tree!
Here we go!
Oh! Oh, there's smoke!
Lucy, Lucy, you
knocked over the stove!
Fire! Fire!
Fire! Fire!
Fire!
Call the fire department!
The fire department!
Call the fire department!
We're the fire department!
Get the hose! Get the hose!
It's a fire! Get the...!
Here, hook this up!
Hook it up!
Right there! Over there!
Get the hose!
It's not connected!
It won't work!
Right there! Over there!
Right here!
All right, let 'er go!
Let 'er go!
There's no water down here!
This'll never work!
We're going to form
a bucket brigade!
Pass the water down...
You keep it going,
Viv! You keep it...
Pass the water...
Go!
Gee, Viv, this
pudding is delicious.
It's brand-new Jell-O
chocolate fudge flavor pudding
with the fudgiest flavor
this side of a fudge pan.
And only Jell-O
makes it, Thelma.
Mm, it sure is
smooth and creamy.
Hello? Oh, hi, Flo.
Well, if there's an emergency,
why didn't you sound
the alarm at the firehouse?
Oh, that's right,
it burned down.
Fifth and Hillside.
I got you. Good-bye.
Drop everything.
Grandma Sutton's
cat's up a tree again.
We'd better grease that tree.
I don't want to leave
my brand new Jell-O
chocolate fudge-flavored
pudding and pie filling.
It's the newest, creamiest
answer to "What's for dessert?"
You drive, I'll eat!
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Costarring Vivian Vance.
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The Lucy Show is
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Who are you
writing to this time?
This is a special
delivery letter
to Senator John R. Dodds.
Not about our fire
department problem again?
Yes, the fire department
problem again.
I think this is the best
letter I've written yet.
Well, let's see.
"Dear Senator Dodds,
"I feel it is my
duty to point out
"an alarming situation
which exists here in Danfield.
"Because of
rezoning in the county,
"our fire department has
been transferred to Ridgeberry
"many, many miles away.
Yeah.
"As a result, in case of a fire,
"defenseless women
and little children
will be left helpless to
face a flaming inferno."
Don't you think you
ought to send a record
of "Hearts and
Flowers" along with this?
Never mind, read on.
"Until this outrageous
condition is rectified,
"the least you
can do for Danfield
"is to create a volunteer
fire department.
Yours very truly,
Lucille Carmichael."
Read the PS...
That's the best part.
"PS... I plan to vote for
you in the next election.
That is, if the polling
place hasn't burned down."
That ought to get it.
Oh, now, Lucy,
you've already written
the editor of the
Danfield Tribune,
our senator, our
congressman, our councilman.
Don't you think it's
about time you gave up?
No, I don't, not until
I get some action.
And I think you should
be writing letters, too.
Oh, no.
You don't get me
to fight City Hall.
I think you're
wasting your time.
All right, you can do
nothing if you want to,
but I'm not gonna sit around
and become the last
of the red-hot mamas.
Oh...
Hi, Mom!
Oh, hi! Oh, here they are!
Hi, darling.
Take off your jacket. LUCY:
How's everything, honey?
Gimme a kiss. Glad to see you.
Well, did anything interesting
happen today at school?
Gosh, yeah!
Captain Metcalf of the
Ridgeberry Fire Department
talked to the whole school
about fire prevention.
Well, that's more like it!
He said now that we didn't
have a fire department of our own,
we have to be very
careful about fire prevention.
I guess my letter stirred
up some action, after all.
He appointed us
all Junior Firemen.
Good for you! What
do you have to do?
We're supposed to check
for fire hazards in all homes.
Good idea!
Come on, let's get started.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Checking fire hazards.
In our home?
Sure.
Captain Metcalf says
most fires in the home
are due to negligence.
Well...
we certainly haven't
been negligent,
but you go ahead and
check to your heart's content.
Uh-oh, look at this!
Yeah, that's bad.
What? What?
This lamp cord is all frazzled.
Well, that's not my fault... I
got that lamp at an auction.
The cord was like
that when I got it.
A violation is a violation.
Look at that!
What now?
A greasy dust cloth!
After using, greasy
rags should be placed
in a covered metal can.
Very dangerous.
Well, that's her fault...
It's her dust cloth.
Oh, now, wait a minute, just
a second... that's her dust.
A violation is a violation.
Uh-oh!
Uh-oh!
What are you "uh-oh'ing" about?
This!
Well, the wire was broke,
so I put some tape around it.
Only qualified electricians
should repair wiring.
I can't afford a
qualified electrician.
I'm a qualified pauper.
Sorry, Mom...
a violation is a violation. A
violation is a violation. Yeah.
Come on, Jerry, we've
got to check the kitchen.
How do you like that?
We're raising a
couple of stool pigeons.
Can they put me in
jail for a frazzled cord?
Oh, no, they
won't put you in jail.
They'll probably just
condemn your house.
Great!
We just found eight
more violations,
and we haven't even
been upstairs yet.
Oh, boy! I'll bet I'll
have more violations
than any other
kid in the school!
How do you like that?
They probably get a prize
for putting us behind bars.
I'll get it, Viv.
Yes, sir?
Mrs. Carmichael? Yes?
I'm Captain Metcalf of the
Ridgeberry Fire Department.
Oh, won't you come in?
Thank you.
Captain Metcalf,
this is Mrs. Bagley.
How do you do,
Captain? How do you do?
I'm here on behalf
of the fire department.
It seems that your sons
turned in a report at school.
My goodness, you work fast!
That report was just
turned in this morning.
I know, but when
the school principal
called the chief on the phone
and told him about the report,
he said we got no time to lose.
Oh, well, you don't have
anything to worry about.
We've already
fixed every violation.
Really? Yes, sir.
We had an electrician
in, and you won't find a...
a frazzled hazard in the house.
No, sir, every little dust rag
has been put in a metal
can and told to stay there.
Glad to hear it.
Do you mind if I look
around? No, go right ahead.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
See what I mean?
Good.
Now, Mrs. Carmichael... Yes?
This cord here goes
to the television set.
That's right.
Where does this other cord go?
Well, that's
connected to the, uh...
uh... Where does
that cord go, Viv?
Don't ask me.
Well, now, it must go somewhere.
Let's see here.
Oh. Oh, here we are.
It goes right over here.
Oh, and up there.
Right along here.
Oh, here we are... it goes
right in that extension there.
Where does that ex...
where does that extension go?
Oh. Well, that goes
down here and, uh...
Oh, look at that...
It goes right across there!
That's a pretty
neat job, isn't it?
Here we are.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it goes right in here.
Yeah, it goes all
the way in here.
Oh... yeah.
It comes
right out there.
I think you're gaining on it.
Oh, here we are.
Here we are, right here.
Where does that extension go?
Well, now, we'll just find out.
Oh, look... these
are our babies' shoes.
Mm-hmm. We had
them done in bronze.
Did you ever do
anything like that?
No, no, no, no, I didn't.
Well, let's see, now, we
were following a little cord.
Let's see, now.
Oh, yes.
Uh-huh, here we go.
Up here.
Oh.
You haven't dusted in there
in about three weeks, girl.
Yeah, it comes right out here,
goes right under that rug.
I wonder where the next leg
of our little journey
will take us...
Well, it's got to end somewhere.
Oh!
Oh!
Well, at least you
found out where it ends.
Mrs. Carmichael, running
cords underneath rugs
is dangerous.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Now, now, listen, I don't
want to sound strict to you,
but the chief has
been on my neck.
It seems that
some nervous Nellie
has been writing letters to
everybody she can think of.
The mayor has been
pressing the chief for action,
and the chief's
been pressing me.
This woman must have written
to everybody but the president.
Give her time.
What do you mean?
Meet the press.
So you're the one!
Yeah, I'm nervous Nellie.
Now, now, now, don't
get me wrong, Nellie...
I-I-I mean, Mrs. Carmichael.
You see, I believe in
adequate fire protection,
just like you do.
But it's gonna
take a little time
to get this-this Da... this
Danfield situation in shape.
Mm-hmm. Well, I hope you
can find better things to do
than go around picking on
poor, innocent women's plugs!
Indeed, indeed we are.
We're organizing a volunteer
fire department right now.
Oh, really?
Well, it's nice to know there'll
be some men on the job.
Well, actually, since so many
men commute to New York,
our volunteer fire department
will be made up of women.
Really?
And seeing that
you are so interested,
we hope that you might
head our volunteer group.
Well, I'd be delighted!
Oh, she doesn't know very
much about putting out fires,
she's better at starting them.
Never mind, Viv.
Uh, Captain
Carmichael reporting.
When do we start, Chief?
Our first meeting is tomorrow
at the old firehouse... Captain.
Oh, well, I'll be there
along with my fellow
smoke-eater Bagley.
Oh, no, you don't.
You can eat that
smoke all by yourself.
Vivian... how would you like it
if as my first official
act as captain,
was to write on the
side of the firehouse,
"Vivian Bagley is chicken"?
Hand me my helmet.
I have her, and I have about
ten or 12 others, Captain,
and I tell you,
we are going to...
Oh, you'll have...
you'll have a...
Now, ladies, you'll
all get your chance.
Okay, Thelma, your turn.
Down we come, Thelma.
Thelma, come on, down the pole.
Thelma!
I don't think I can do it.
Now, come on, Thelma,
come down the pole.
There's nothing to it...
It's really a lot of fun.
That's it.
Take it easy.
Take it easy!
That's it, Thelma.
That's it.
You're down.
You're down, Thelma.
You're down,
Thelma. You're down.
You're down. That's it, honey.
You're all right.
You're okay.
There's really
nothing to it. Yeah...
Okay. Okay, Viv, you're next.
Viv, come down this pole.
Viv, this is your
captain speaking.
This is an order.
Vivian, come down here!
I'm down!
You march right up there
and come down the pole.
Not a chance!
Viv, that's not nice.
Girls, I was out there...
there's the cutest little stove.
We can have hot
tea and everything.
Oh, honestly, Viv,
that's not nice...
I am not coming down that pole!
Well, ladies!
Ladies, how's it going?
Oh, uh, hello, Chief.
Uh, everything's fine.
We were just having
a little pole practice.
Pole practice?
Yes, sir.
Well, that's fine, Mrs.,
uh... Captain Carmichael,
but, uh, you volunteers will
be working out of your homes,
so you won't have
to slide down the pole.
Oh. Well, Chief, I-I think
I told my crew everything
that you wanted me
to explain to them,
but if you have anything
else to add, go right ahead.
Thank you. Yes, sir.
Now if you'll all
step over here...
Step over here, all of you.
We'll, we'll work out
your truck assignments.
Oh, good!
Now, there's room
for five to stand
on each side of the truck.
Five.
Those on the left will
have charge of the hose,
the extinguishers and the axes.
So we can axe our way inside.
There'll be... quiet...
There'll be an axe for
everybody, don't worry.
Those on the right
will have charge of the ladders.
Step this way.
Step this way. Step this way.
Quiet, girls. Step this way.
Two will ride up front.
One will operate the siren,
and of course the driver.
Oh.
Now, who's the best driver?
Oh, I am! I am!
Whoa! Hold! Hold!
Hold! Hold it! Hold it!
Who had no traffic violations
during the past year?
Who had no traffic violations
within the past month?
Who has a car without
a dented fender?
I don't have a
dented fender! Good!
Oh, that's just because
she doesn't have a car!
He didn't ask that!
Hold! Hold it! Hold
it! Hold it! Hold it!
Please, please,
Captain Carmichael,
why don't you be the
driver during the first month?
Thank you.
After that, everyone
can take turns.
Oh, we get to take turns!
You promise that now?
You let us take the turn.
Now, listen, I-I think
I've had enough for today,
so if you'll pick up your
uniforms and equipment
in the back room, please.
Okay. Yeah, okay.
Pick up your uniforms.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, hold it!
Uh, I have a question that I
think is, uh, quite important.
Well, what is it?
How do we know
when there's a fire?
Oh, that is important.
Yes, that's, that's
quite important.
Yeah.
Step over this way.
Step over here.
Follow us closely.
Pay attention.
Now, one of you ladies
will be on duty at all times.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
When a call comes
in, and there's a fire,
you sound the alarm.
Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
When you hear that signal,
get here as fast as you can.
Now, it might be a good
idea if you all went home
and practiced putting on
your equipment and uniforms
as quick as you can. Yeah.
The most important thing
in fighting fires is speed.
Speed. I told you that.
Speed, I'll bet it
is. I told you that.
Now, now, I think... Gotta
think fast to fight a fire.
I-I think you can take
care of anything minor,
Yeah. And if anything
major comes up,
Ridgeberry Fire
Department will take care of it.
Oh, good. So if you
pick up your uniforms,
you're dismissed.
Oh, fine.
Oh, speed! We'll go
home and practice
and get back here
in a big hurry. Huh?
Viv, do you think we'll be able
to, to hear that alarm
clear over at our house?
Gee, I wonder.
I'd hate to miss my first fire.
Yeah. We'd better find out.
Yep.
Yeah, we'll be able to hear it!
Oh!
How fast did we make
the change that time?
A minute and 45 seconds.
Oh!
You know, I'll bet we could clip
15 seconds off that if we try.
Let's try it again.
Again?!
Oh, Lucy, I'm exhausted.
We've been
rehearsing all morning.
All right now, Viv.
Come on. Try it just
once more. Just for me.
Please.
Now just relax, sit back,
relax, read the magazine.
You know, any
ordinary afternoon.
Hark! I do believe
I hear the signal
from the firehouse!
I knew it!
A minute and 28 seconds!
Oh, that's enough!
If we cut off any more time,
we'll get there
before the fire starts!
Whew!
Oh!
Well, one thing...
it's very comforting
to know that in case
of an emergency,
we can be dressed and on our way
in a minute and 28 seconds.
Oh, that's very comforting.
I think these things are
important, Viv, I really do
or I wouldn't have
you rehearsing them.
I'm the Captain.
I feel that I have
to get these things done
to the best of my ability.
Yes, Captain.
You might make fun of 'em,
but I think they're very important.
Where are you going?
I'm going to go
upstairs and take a nap.
I want to see if
I can fall asleep
in one minute and 28 seconds.
Oh! Whew!
I'm gonna get some coffee.
Vivian! Vivian!
I thought you were upstairs!
It's a fire!
It's a fire! It's a...
Get over! Move over!
Lucy, the phone's ringing!
Now who can that be?
It's the phone.
Where's that...?
You get the clothes!
I'll get the clothes! Hello?
Thelma, I can't talk to you
now! I've got to put out a fire!
Thelma's one of the volunteers!
Oh, Thelma, what do you want?
Er-Ernie took the car.
Can we pick her up?
Took the car?! Yeah,
we can pick her up.
Yeah, we'll pick you up.
Be ready in a minute
and 28 seconds!
Hey!
Yes, we're coming!
Oh, we're coming!
Oh, Lucy! Oh, Lucy!
Yes!
Help me! Help me! Help me!
It's a real fire! Oh!
My zipper's stuck!
Your zipper?! Oh!
Oh, let it be stuck!
Nobody'll see it at a fire!
Oh, honestly...
Hold it! Oh, I got a
run in my stocking!
What difference does that make?!
Nobody will see it at a fire!
What if my pants burn off?
Oh, Lucy, that's a real... oh!
Of course it's a real fire!
I told you we should
have rehearsed more!
I got... All right.
Wait. That's my
coat! This is my...!
Oh, Vivian!
Look at the back! It
says "Bagley"! Look...
All right, all right!
Oh, we're coming, we're coming!
Of all the times to
mislay the keys to the car!
I... I don't...
I always know
where the keys are!
I always put...
Maybe I put 'em in the bowl.
Yo-yos! How many
yo-yos do these kids have?!
Where'd I put 'em?
How do I know what
you do with them?! What?
I know where they are!
Where?
I left them in the
car in case of fire!
Come on!
Where's the fire?!
Where's the fire?!
All right, everybody,
to your places...
Right over there!
You don't report to me!
Now, get over there!
All right, clang the bell!
All right, here we go!
What's the matter now?
I think we'd go faster
if we had a driver!
Oh, that's me!
Ready?
Here we go! Ready? Gotta turn...
Here we go!
Where are we going?
Wait a minute! Quiet! Quiet!
I took the call! Yeah?
Grandma Sutton's
cat is up a tree!
Here we go!
Oh! Oh, there's smoke!
Lucy, Lucy, you
knocked over the stove!
Fire! Fire!
Fire! Fire!
Fire!
Call the fire department!
The fire department!
Call the fire department!
We're the fire department!
Get the hose! Get the hose!
It's a fire! Get the...!
Here, hook this up!
Hook it up!
Right there! Over there!
Get the hose!
It's not connected!
It won't work!
Right there! Over there!
Right here!
All right, let 'er go!
Let 'er go!
There's no water down here!
This'll never work!
We're going to form
a bucket brigade!
Pass the water down...
You keep it going,
Viv! You keep it...
Pass the water...
Go!
Gee, Viv, this
pudding is delicious.
It's brand-new Jell-O
chocolate fudge flavor pudding
with the fudgiest flavor
this side of a fudge pan.
And only Jell-O
makes it, Thelma.
Mm, it sure is
smooth and creamy.
Hello? Oh, hi, Flo.
Well, if there's an emergency,
why didn't you sound
the alarm at the firehouse?
Oh, that's right,
it burned down.
Fifth and Hillside.
I got you. Good-bye.
Drop everything.
Grandma Sutton's
cat's up a tree again.
We'd better grease that tree.
I don't want to leave
my brand new Jell-O
chocolate fudge-flavored
pudding and pie filling.
It's the newest, creamiest
answer to "What's for dessert?"
You drive, I'll eat!
The Lucy Show
was brought to you by
Jell-O Pudding & Pie Filling,
the creamy, easy answer
to "What's for dessert?"
Another fine product
of General Foods.
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