The Lucy Show (1962–1968): Season 1, Episode 14 - Chris's New Year's Eve Party - full transcript

Starring Lucille Ball.

Costarring Vivian Vance.

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Lucy, why did you get these
costumes out on New Year's Eve?

I thought you and I could
do our Charlie Chaplin sketch

for Chris's party tonight.

Oh, I don't know.



Do you think Chris's
gang would like it?

Well, we were a smash
at the PTA carnival.

We got more applause

than Flora Peabody's
homemade divinity fudge.

Well, if we're
gonna do the skit,

we'll need two
men to do it with us.

Well, we'll get two of
Chris's boyfriends to help us.

Oh.

It's too bad we canceled
our New Year's dates

with Eddie and Harry.

I still don't see

why we had to cancel our dates.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Viv,

this is a party for teenagers.



They don't want any
older people around.

Well, what about us?

We're not people.

We're mothers.

That's right.

Oh, Viv. What's the matter?

You're gonna have to
take over the balloons.

I gotta get my eyeballs
back in my head.

Oh.

The door, please?

Oh, yeah, just a minute, Chris.

Phew!

Golly!

Hi, honey! Hi!

Hi, Aunt Viv! Hi, Chris!

Did you get everything? Uh-huh.

Confetti, horns,
noisemakers, paper hats.

What about the new net
for the Ping-Pong table?

Mom, I decided we're not
going to play Ping-Pong.

Oh.

Well, I guess you have enough
going for you with the charades,

the 20 Questions
and the musical chairs.

Mother, those are
children's games!

They are? Yes.

Well, all right.

I guess there's
enough with dancing

and refreshment
and entertainment.

Entertainment?

Yeah, I thought your gang
would get a kick out of us

doing our silent movie sketch.

Your silent movie sketch?

Uh-oh.

I think Flora Peabody

better start buttering
those fudge pans.

But, Mom,

the kids may not know
who Charlie Chaplin is.

Well, just tell them he's
a Stone Age Soupy Sales.

Mom, we really don't
need entertainment.

All we want is dancing
and refreshments.

Okay, dear, it's your party.

Oh, wait a minute.

Jerry!

Sherman!

Wait till you see
what I have planned

for the stroke of midnight.

Where's Jerry? He
won't come down.

Why not?

He says he feels silly.

Jerry, come down here.

Aren't they adorable?

I feel like a perfect fool.

If you ask me, I
think it's square.

For once, I agree
with my sister.

I think it's corny, too.

Am I the only one
that thinks it's cute?

All right, forget it, kids.

Thank goodness!

Mom? VIVIAN: Yes, honey?

We still get to stay up
till midnight, don't we?

Oh, of course you get
to stay up till midnight.

A promise is a promise.

What happened? Oh, Lucy,

why did you do
a thing like that?!

Oh, Viv.

I just cannot blow
up another balloon.

I'll black out.
Wouldn't it be easier

if you used Jerry's
bicycle pump?

Oh, why didn't I think of that?

I'll get it. It's in the garage.

But don't stop, Viv.

Come on now. We got a lot to do.

Okay.

Aunt Viv, Yes?

Before Mom gets back,

could I talk to you
woman-to-woman?

Sure, honey, sit down.

What's on your
mind? Well, you know,

this is the first boy-girl
party I've ever had,

and I'd kind of like
to run it my own self

and just have my own gang here.

Well, and I was wondering...

I don't know how
to say this, Aunt Viv,

but... Uh, just a minute, dear,

maybe I can say it for you.

Would you like to be
giving your own party

without the assistance
of a certain mother hen

and her best friend?

How did you know?

I was looking at your face

when Captain Kangaroo
was running amuck.

Gee, Aunt Viv, you're choice!

Thanks.

I sure hope Mom takes
it as well as you do.

Oh, honey, she'll understand.

Do you really think so?

No.

That's what I was afraid of.

Well, I'll just have
to come right out

and tell her, I guess.

I'll just say, "Mother..."

Yes, Chris? Oh!

What is it, honey?

Uh, well, uh, I guess

if we're not gonna
get to do the skit,

I'll just, uh, put
these things back

down in the
basement in the trunk.

Okay, dear. Mother,

there's something I
want to talk to you about.

What is it, honey?

Well, you know,

this is the first boy-girl
party I've ever had,

and I think it's important

that I learn to be a
hostess by myself.

Well, don't you worry
about a thing, honey.

I'm going to be
here every minute

to help you do it by yourself.

Mother, can I be
absolutely frank with you?

Sure, honey.

Well, I don't want to
hurt anyone's feelings,

but there's someone
I don't think will fit in

at the party tonight.

Oh, so that's it.

Well, you just forget
it, honey, I understand.

You do? Sure.

Oh, gee, Mom, you're wonderful!

Well, I don't blame you a bit.

I wouldn't want my little
brother at my party either.

But, Mom...

Don't say another word.

Don't worry about
it for a minute.

I'm gonna call Peter
Newgard's mother,

and I'm gonna
have her invite Jerry

and Sherman to stay overnight.

Mom, they're not the
only ones I had in mind.

Oh?

Well, now, I figured
that she'd be lots of fun,

but if you don't want Aunt
Viv, I'll, I'll explain it to her.

Well, I don't mean
Aunt Viv, either...

but you're getting warmer.

Uh, by George, Chris...

you know, I, uh, I
just remembered

that I have a-a
previous engagement,

and I'm not gonna be able
to come to your party tonight.

Mom, you're the

greatest!

You sure you'll be able
to manage all by yourself?

Sure I can.

You have to get a
chaperone, you know.

Oh, I will. Okay.

Gee, it's too bad
you're my mother.

You're so nice, I'd
invite you to my party.

Well, now, maybe I could get
out of my previous engagement.

Mother.

Oh, okay, it was
just a suggestion.

Yeah, Harry. Well, there's
been a change in plans,

so I'm free for the evening.

Uh-huh.

Oh?

Well.

Oh, well, I understand.

What can I say?

Yeah.

Well, happy New
Year to you, too, Harry.

Harry's busy, huh?

Yeah.

You know where he's
going to be New Year's Eve?

Where? Right here.

Chris asked him to
chaperone her party.

How come she asked Harry?

Because he's
available, he's lots of fun,

and he's not her mother!

Did you call Eddie?

Yeah, I called Eddie.

He's busy, too.

He's entertaining
an out-of-town client.

Swell.

Eddie said to wish
you a Happy New Year.

Harry said to wish you
happy New Year, too.

Thanks.

You know something, Viv?

I think we just had our
New Year's Eve party.

Well, I guess it won't hurt us

to stay home for once
and go to bed early.

We can't stay home.

Why not?

Because I promised Chris

that she could have her
gang here all by themselves,

and we wouldn't come
home until midnight.

What are we gonna
do till midnight?

Oh, I don't know. We'll
think of something.

What?

Well, how about
going to Times Square?

In that crowd? Whoosh.

Yeah.

How would you like to
go to a movie in the Village

and then have a
banana split afterwards?

How's that sound?

Dull and fattening.

Well, we could always drive
around the country roads

and honk the horn
for three hours.

No, thanks.

Oh, I know where we'll go.

To the Elm Tree Inn!

I saw their ad in the paper.

For five dollars, you can get
dinner, a floor show, dancing,

paper hats, noisemakers.

Men?

No.

No, they didn't mention men.

Well then I'm not going.

I am not going to go
to the Elm Tree Inn

on New Year's
Eve without a date.

Who says we're not
going to have dates?

We are going to be

with the two most
attractive men in town.

Oh, my, that was good!

Waiter!

Oh, waiter!

Yes, sir? Another
round of desserts.

Yes, sir.

Another round of dessert.

Oh, not for me, thank you.

Two's my limit.

None for me either.

One thing I'm not gonna do
is waddle into the New Year.

Are you girls
having a good time?

Oh, we're having
a marvelous time.

This is the nicest New
Year's Eve I ever spent.

Me, too. Thank you.

Hey, it's 9:00 already.

Oh, my, how the time does fly

when you're out with
such interesting men.

Boy, staying up
for New Year's Eve,

eating in a restaurant,
and having three desserts...

Isn't this neat? Yeah,

how long has this been going on?

Would you care to dance?

I'd be delighted to dance.

Well!

Excuse me.

It's not the company.

Oh, well, I understand.

You had a hard
day at the office.

Aren't you gonna
ask me to dance?

Oh, sure.

As soon as they play
some dance music.

This is dance music.

It is? Sure. It's a fox-trot.

That must be a new dance,

I only know the
twist and the Watusi.

The Wha-Whatsi?

The Watusi.

Well, I think we'd better
stick to the fox-trot.

Come on, it's easy to learn.

How do you like the fox-trot?

It's awful!

I'd sure hate to be a fox.

Nah, you were doing fine.

Hey, now, we can do the Watusi.

I don't know how.

No, we've never Watusi-ed.

It's a cinch. Just watch me.

Yeah, and you just watch me.

♪ ♪

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Well, they were fun
while they lasted.

Yes, they were.

Oh, come on. Now,
don't you conk out on me.

It's just a little past 10:00.

I don't think I can make it.

I really don't think I can
make it till midnight, Lucy.

I'm exhausted from
all that dancing.

I don't see how
those Watusis do it.

Lucy! Viv! Viv, it's Eddie.

That's Eddie! How are you?

Hi, Eddie. Pull up a chair
and sit down with us, Eddie.

Oh, thank you very
much. That's so nice.

What happened to
your out-of-town guest?

Well, he insisted that
I take him to celebrate

in Times Square, and
he got lost in the mob.

Oh, isn't that too bad.

Not at all. I lost
him on purpose,

so I could be with
you, Tootsie. Aww...

How'd you know we were here?

Well, I stopped by the
house. Harry told me.

Oh. And I have a
message from Chris.

What is it?

"Help!"

What?!

I'm afraid her
party is a big dud.

Oh, aren't they having any fun?

Aren't they dancing?

Well, Chris said half
the boys didn't know how

and the other half
were too bashful.

Oh, dear! VIVIAN: Oh!

When I left,

Harry had a darning needle

and he was trying to
patch up the Ping-Pong net.

Viv, we've got to go
home and help her.

Well, what'll we do, Lucy?

Well, we'll do the
silent movie sketch.

Oh, yeah. Oh, and now
Eddie can play my boyfriend

Yeah. Yeah. and Harry
can play the waiter.

I can play your boyfriend? Yeah, I'll
tell you all about it on the way home.

Darling? Honey?

Wake up, darling.
I almost fell asleep.

Jerry? Jerry, honey?

Come on, wake up.

Is it New Year's
yet? Not yet, honey.

Boy, it takes forever. Yeah.

What's your mother
going to do anyway?

It's a sketch she
and Aunt Viv did

at the PTA last semester.

Chris, dear?

Yes, Mom?

We're ready, honey. Okay.

Kids, listen!

And now, for some entertainment.

I'd like to present a
silent movie sketch,

put on by my mother
and her friends.

Will you all please be seated?

Just sit anywhere.

My mother plays the
part of Charlie Chaplin.

My Aunt Viv plays
the beautiful girl.

As the scene opens,
the beautiful girl's seated

in a restaurant,
finishing her dinner.

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Oh, Mother...

Mother, you saved the party!

This was, without a doubt,

the best New Year's Eve
party anybody ever had!

Thank you, darling.

Hey, everybody! It's midnight!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

Ah!

Happy New Year! Yay!

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