The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 4, Episode 28 - Tony and Julie/Separate Beds/America's Sweetheart - full transcript

[THEME TUNE STARTS]

♪ Love

♪ Exciting and new ♪ Come aboard

♪ We're expecting you ♪ And love

♪ Life's sweetest
reward ♪ Let it flow

♪ It floats back to
you ♪ The Love Boat

♪ Soon will be
making another run

♪ The Love Boat

♪ Promises
something for everyone

♪ Set a course for adventure

♪ Your mind on a new romance



♪ And love ♪ Won't hurt anymore

♪ It's an open smile
♪ On a friendly shore

♪ It's love ♪ Welcome
aboard ♪ It's love ♪

I can't wait to meet her!

I mean, I cannot believe
she's actually coming here!

- She's the greatest, most...
- Down, Vicki, down!

Yeah, come on,
Vicki, control yourself.

Vicki, you don't want Becky
Daniels to think you're a silly little kid.

- Do you?
- You're right, you're right.

You're all right. I'll behave.
After all, she's just a teenage girl

who just happens
to be a television star.

- Right, no big deal.
- Yeah, now come on.

We're gonna have to be on our
toes because of Becky Daniels...

Becky Daniels! [SCREAMS]



- Is there something wrong?
- No, no, sir.

- No, sir.
- Have you seen Miss McCoy?

- She hasn't gotten back yet, sir.
- She will, sir.

She spent the weekend
with her folks in LA.

- She probably got stuck in traffic.
- Yes, well, she knows the rules.

We sail at 11:00, with or
without a cruise director.

Excuse me.

Taxi!

Taxi! Oh, taxi!

- Hey. Hold it, love. That's my cab.
- But I'm late for work.

- Oh, what a pity.
- Thank you.

But if you're pure in heart
and think good thoughts,

another cab will come
along for you in no time.

But you don't
understand. I can't wait.

If I don't take this cab,
I'm gonna be in big trouble.

- Really?
- Yes.

Well, you're a very attractive young
lady and you do have my sympathy.

- But not my cab. Sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.

Berth 93, San Pedro, please.

- Hello.
- Hello!

Whoops. I...

- May I help you, sir?
- Not as much as she can.

- I'm Carl Mitchell.
- Oh, hi. Right. Uh...

Mr. and Mrs. Carl Mitchell,
Aloha Deck, cabin 217.

- There is no Mrs. Mitchell.
- Oh?

There was a Mrs. Mitchell when we
bought the tickets, but there isn't now.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- I'm not. She was bad news.

- We got divorced.
- Oh, divorced.

We divided up everything,
including our cruise tickets.

Oh, you got custody
of the stateroom, huh?

[LAUGHS]

She cashed in her ticket, but
I figured this was my vacation,

- so I might as well enjoy it.
- Good for you, Mr. Mitchell.

- You have a good cruise.
- I will.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi!
- What cabin am I in, please?

- What's your name?
- Oh. I'm sorry.

- It's Mrs. Carl Mitchell.
- Right.

- [LAUGHS] Oh, bombs away.
- Excuse me?

- Oh, what a beautiful day!
- Oh, right.

Uh, Mrs. Mitchell, you're in
cabin Aloha 217, up the stairs.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.

- Miss Daniels, welcome aboard.
- Oh, welcome aboard.

- Hello. Hi.
- Welcome. Our ship is your ship.

Oh! Sure, all right.

It's her!

I'm gonna be filming my
show here so you can all watch.

- It's Becky Daniels, in person!
- Now, Vicki, remember what you said.

- Oh, right.
- You'll love Acapulco...

- Daddy.
- Yes?

I do believe Miss Daniels has
arrived. Shall we go and greet her?

Yes. Excuse us.
Enjoy the cruise.

Welcome aboard.
I'm Captain Stubing.

Oh, thank you, Captain.
Wow, what a neat ship.

- Thank you for letting us use it.
- We're delighted to have you.

- [VICKI CLEARS THROAT]
- Oh!

May I present my
daughter, Vicki?

- Hi.
- Hi. So nice to meet you.

- I never miss your show. Never.
- Me neither.

[ALL LAUGH]

- And this is my dear Aunt Gertrude.
- Oh! Call me Gert.

- Gert.
- I'm here to keep Becky out of trouble.

Well, in that case, I'm sure you'll
have plenty of time to enjoy the cruise.

Oh, and this is my
talented director, Mr. Scott.

- Welcome aboard.
- Maybe I can show you

- around the ship later.
- That would be terrific.

I just know we're going
to be great friends.

- I'll see you all later.
- Bye, Captain, thank you.

She's just as wonderful
as she is on the show.

- Gert.
- Yes, dear?

Make sure you keep that
little runt out of my hair.

Here we go.

Welcome aboard.

STUBING [OVER PA]:
All visitors ashore, please,

we sail in 15 minutes.

- Hi!
- Hi.

- I'm Paul Turnbull.
- And I'm Linda Harvey.

Oh, you two are the Auto Club
sweepstake winners. Welcome aboard.

Boy, you lucky guys
winning the cruise, huh?

Okay, um, Linda,
you're on Fiesta Deck.

Paul, you're on Coral Deck.

Well, you can't win them all.

- I don't want to hear it.
- Oh, Julie...

Now, we have the
smoothest sailing...

Oh, welcome aboard, miss.

That's what our cruise director
says when she manages to show up.

Lay off, Isaac. I practically
had to hijack a cab to get here.

- Hello, welcome aboard.
- Miss McCoy.

- How long have you been here?
- About four years, sir.

Hello, welcome aboard.

Well, if the captain's
checked the oil and water,

- I think we're ready to go.
- Are they any no-shows?

Well, let's check.

Welcome a...

ISAAC: No, she's
here. I checked her out.

JULIE: Yeah, okay. I
don't think I have any.

- We got a new arrival.
- Oh, hello, welcome aboard. I'm...

You! You... you...

- [SHIP HORN BLARES]
- [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

- You!
- You!

- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?

You said you were going
to cash in your ticket!

You said you were! That's
the only reason I came!

Look at this mess! It's
like I never left home!

Don't start that
again, Mr. Clean!

Don't Mr. Clean me, Miss Piggy!

Get me the purser's office.

Hello, this is Carl
Mitchell in Aloha 217.

I'd like to move to
another stateroom, please.

I'll say there's something
wrong with it, it's too crowded!

You're sure you
don't have anything?

You're sorry?

They're completely booked.

Guess we're stuck with each
other for the rest of the cruise.

Great. Maybe for my next
vacation I can do something fun,

like root canal therapy.

Okay, could we finish with the
makeup? We've got a scene to do.

- You about ready, Becky?
- All ready, Jeff.

Fine. Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
could we please have it quiet on the set.

Uh... ship. All
right, hit the wind.

Roll 'em.

And... action.

Don't worry if the radio's out,
Captain. I learned my semaphore code.

They see us,
Captain, they see us!

- We're saved!
- And... cut.

Oh, beautiful, Becky,
beautiful! Beautiful!

Beautiful. Good.

- Marvelous.
- Get this smelly outfit off of me.

Of course, dear.

Let's get set up for
the next scene. Okay?

I want the long shot
from over there, all right?

This is great. I'd give
anything to be on a TV show.

Well, maybe if your father asked
them, they might have a part for you.

Really? Oh, would you, Dad?
Please? Oh, please, please, please!

- Well...
- Please!

The worst they can do is say no.

Excuse me, Miss Daniels.
May I ask you a little favor?

Certainly, Captain.
What can I do for you?

Well, my daughter, is...

Well, I think she's
very talented.

Well, do you have a small
part for her in your show?

Gosh, I don't know.
We'll have to think it over.

Maybe there is a
little something for her.

Thank you, Miss
Daniels, thank you.

And maybe I'm the
Queen of England.

Well, Stuart and Lucy. What do you
think of this glamorous ship so far? Hm?

- What is this?
- Oh. We better be careful.

There's some very
difficult people around here.

Sir, I apologize for the taxi incident,
but would you mind explaining this?

Not at all, but first don't you think
that introductions are in order?

Julie McCoy, cruise director.

Stuart and Lucy, chimpanzees.

Very amusing. Whoever
you are, for your information,

animals are not permitted in
the passenger areas of the ship.

- Not permitted? Really?
- Really.

- Are you certain?
- I'm absolutely positive.

[LAUGHS] But are you certain?

Look, if you refuse to comply
with the ship's regulations,

I'm afraid I'll have to
report you to the captain.

- Dr. Selkirk. How are you doing?
- Fine, thank you, Gopher.

- Doctor?
- A mere veterinarian.

Gopher, would you
please inform the vet

that if he refuses to house
his animals below decks,

he and his chimps can be
put ashore at the first port?

I can't do that, Julie.

Except for the coral dining room, they
pretty much have the run of the ship.

- Captain's orders.
- Captain Stubing said that?

Well, maybe it was
Captain Kangaroo.

Yeah, you would have known
about it if you'd been here on time.

- Believe me, she tried.
- I find this whole thing ridiculous.

- Married?
- Uh-uh.

- Engaged?
- Uh-uh.

- Angry?
- Mm-hm.

SELKIRK: Well, another
fine mess you got me into.

[SCREECHING]

Well, I have to admit, for
a slob you look pretty good.

You say the sweetest things.

That's mine, I believe.

I'm going to dinner. And
don't forget the ground rules:

If either one of us wants to
entertain in the room later,

we just hang out this
"Do Not Disturb" sign.

- Good idea.
- Good night.

And try not to mess
up my side of the cabin.

I hope your tie
falls into your soup!

Charles, would you be kind enough to
show these people to table 15, please?

Enjoy your dinner.

Ah, Miss McCoy. Smiling
as sweetly as ever, I see.

Dr. Selkirk. Don't you like
to eat with your animals,

or is it the other way around?

Actually, they decided to stay in their
cabin and call room service for a pizza.

Don't worry. We wouldn't
want you to eat alone.

- I have a lovely table.
- Oh.

Oh. It's right this way.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

- May I present Dr. Selkirk?
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Is this table 31?

- Uh, table 31?
- Hm? Yeah.

Oh, yeah!

From now on, that's
gotta be my lucky number.

[LAUGHS]

Becky's so fabulous.
Everybody loves her.

Yes. Sometimes that
situation is difficult to handle.

- Never bothered me.
- [LAUGHS]

I don't want to be a drag,

but, Dad, could you ask her
again if I could be in her show?

Oh, Vicki, I don't think so.

Oh, please?

I think she likes me.

Please?

Well, all right.
Excuse me, please.

How come the little twerp gets
a hot fudge sundae and I don't?

- Because, dear, it is fattening.
- But I want a hot fudge sundae!

Your aunt's right,
sweetheart. Every extra pound

looks like ten on
the old silver screen.

- I never have any fun.
- Good evening.

- Hi, Captain.
- Excuse me for interrupting,

but Vicki wanted me to ask

if you'd made up your mind
about her being in your show?

Oh, I've spent all dinner
trying to talk the director into it.

But he's a real tough nut. I'll
have to have some more time.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Yeah. We'll talk.
- Yes, well... Mm-hm.

Thank you.

- What's that all about?
- He wants me to give his kid a part.

What does he think I'm
running here, a kiddie show?

Well, what did she say?

It's up to the director.
She's on your side.

Wow!

Julie, I'm sorry about this afternoon.
I didn't mean to embarrass you.

- You mean with that animal person?
- Mm.

Well, it was nothing really.

You know, he seems like
a rather decent sort of chap.

- Wish I looked like him.
- You think he's good looking?

- Mm-hm.
- I really hadn't noticed.

Oh, you're just mad at him because
he got the best of you this afternoon.

Oh, I think things
are pretty even now.

I seated him at a table
where nobody speaks English.

- [LAUGHS]
- Oh, Julie, that's immature.

- Sounds like something I'd do.
- You want to see?

- Yeah.
- Come with me.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

I trust everything
is going fine here?

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

- [ALL LAUGH]
- Bravo.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Nancy, I'm having such
a good time with you.

Well, good times are what
it's all about, n'est pas?

Si, si.

- Evening, Doctor.
- Hello, Doctor.

You're not sitting
here all alone, are you?

- Not anymore.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- No, please. I could use the company.
- Oh.

If you think so, I'm not
sure about anything.

- Oh, good evening, Captain Stubing.
- Oh, Dr. Selkirk.

- Have you met Miss McCoy?
- Yes, briefly.

I wanted to thank you
for my dinner companions.

- How did you know I spoke Russian?
- Wild hunch.

Captain, would you mind terribly if I
were to ask Miss McCoy for this dance?

- Of course not.
- Thank you. Shall we?

Mm-hm.

- Now, look...
- Before you go any further,

I know you'll be very pleased
to hear that I have forgiven you.

Well, how lovely of you.

Well, I'm a lovely fellow,
which you, no doubt,

are discovering
little by little.

Well then, tell
me, lovely fellow,

what did you say about me
that made all those people laugh?

- Oh, I shouldn't.
- Oh, please.

Well, since I'm such
a lovely fellow, I will.

I simply told them that
you didn't know it yet,

but before the evening was
through I was going to kiss you.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Well, we wouldn't want
to make a liar out of you.

- Shall we?
- Right here?

- Close your eyes.
- All right.

I know you'll love Acapulco, it has
some of the finest shops in the world.

Of course, Manzanilla
was my favorite.

On the way back,
we'll hit Manzanilla.

Nancy, there's so much
more I'd like to know about you.

I don't know where to start.

Well, we could start by
finding a nice, quiet place

to relax and talk.

- How about my cabin?
- I thought you'd never ask.

JEFF: Well, thank goodness.
So far we're right on schedule.

Tomorrow morning we'll
start with scenes 48 and 64.

Carol, make sure Becky's
dress is ready, okay?

All right, that
should about do it.

I want everybody ready to roll
tomorrow morning at 6 am sharp.

- What?
- Come on, show folk.

We've got a lot of work to
do. Get a good night's rest.

Nighty-night. Nighty-night.

- I'm not doing it!
- Becky, sweetheart, what's the matter?

- Who wrote this stuff?
- The script?

It was written by some of
the finest writers we have.

Oh, don't give me that.

I'm not doing this script
unless I get a double.

A double? Oh, honey, we
couldn't possibly get a double.

We're right in the middle of the
ocean. Where are we gonna find one?

- Water, water?
- I'm surrounded by incompetence!

Incompetence? Uh...
Becky, perhaps...

[LAUGHING] I don't
think so, young lady.

- Please?
- Sometimes...

Vicki! I've been
looking all over for you!

- You have?
- Yes.

You still want to be
in my show, don't you?

Do I? More than
anything in the world!

Well, be on the set tomorrow
morning. It's your big break.

A star is born.

You know, Carl, I've heard of cruises
being romantic, but I never imagined...

Who are you rooming
with, the Rockettes?

Uh, Nancy, there's
something I have to tell you.

Hey, listen, if this stuff is
yours, it's none of my business.

It belongs to my ex-wife.
But don't worry about her.

She left it here by accident.
She won't bother us.

- What are you looking for?
- Nothing.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello?
- It's Tony.

- My chimpanzees are missing.
- I'll be right there.

- It's me, Julie!
- Come in.

What happened?
How'd they get out?

I thought you said
they were missing.

They were.

They were missing you.

Well, here we are.
Good night, Adam.

Well, aren't you
going to invite me in?

Well, how about that, a doctor
who makes stateroom calls.

Sure, come on in.
We'll have a nightcap.

- I beg your pardon!
- Who are they?

- Who are they?
- Why didn't you put out

the "Do Not Disturb" sign?

Because I couldn't find it
under all the mess you left.

- Don't start that again.
- I didn't start it again.

- You did, by barging in here!
- Well, it's my stateroom!

It's only half yours!
The messy half!

You can't yell at me
like that, we're divorced!

Oh, yes, I can, I
paid the lawyer bills!

Where are you going?

To find a nice, clean,
neat, tidy lifeboat to sleep in.

Anyplace but here! Good night!

Oh, sit on it!

[CHIMPANZEES CHITTERING]

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello?
- Didn't you hear the alarm?

Everybody on deck
immediately with their life jackets!

Wait a minute.

May I help you?

Your idea of a joke, I presume?

Well, let's just say I thought
it would be a good idea

if at least one of the
jokes tonight was on you.

Well, yours was a very stupid
joke, if you don't mind me saying so.

Well, maybe I did
go a little too far.

- Stupid and childish.
- Well, I'm sorry.

Surely, you've got something
better to do with your time.

On second thought,
probably you don't.

- I said I'm sorry.
- Apology not accepted.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think
I want to go back to my cabin.

Fine, want me
to call you a taxi?

That was another
joke, I presume.

Would you mind
holding these a moment?

Would you mind holding
these for a moment?

[HE CHUCKLES]

- Julie...
- I know. I love you, too.

- Did I say that?
- I hope so.

Yes? Oh, hi.

Here's his luggage.

Tell him I hope he likes
the way I folded his shirts.

Did I miss something?
What are you talking about?

Oh, you don't have to cover
for Carl, he's a big boy now.

Oh, Carl. I haven't
seen him since last night.

You mean, he didn't
spend the night here?

No, of course not.

I don't waste my time with guys
who share cabins with their ex-wives.

Bye.

Oh, wait, Mr. Mitchell. Hey,
no, no. You don't have to do that.

Oh, I don't mind. I'm really grateful
to you for putting me up last night.

Oh, that's no problem.

I'm just sorry things aren't working
out between you and Mrs. Mitchell.

Well, it's not my
fault. She's impossible.

She's so sloppy,
so disorganized.

Nobody could live with her.

- You know what that woman does?
- Mm-hm?

She leaves the cap
off the toothpaste.

[GASPS] And you haven't
reported her to the authorities?

Look, Mr. Mitchell...

No, Mr. Mitchell, no,
no, no. Now, look...

I don't want to interfere.

But aren't you being
just a little bit hard on her?

I mean, she could have a lot
worse habits than just being untidy.

- But she...
- No, no, no, wait a minute.

Why don't you try it
her way for a change.

Make a little mess.
You might even enjoy it.

Well...

Well, maybe I do get a
little carried away sometimes.

- Hm...
- You're right.

You're right. From now on,

no more being so picky about
keeping things neat all the time.

There you go. Give it your best
shot. Let me know how things turn out.

- You bet.
- Okay.

- Just a minute.
- Hm?

Huh. There's a little
piece of dirt there.

So, Doctor, how are your
chimps enjoying the cruise?

Fine, thanks.

Although I must admit their shuffleboard
leaves a little bit to be desired.

Dr. Selkirk.

I'd like to apologize.

I understand there is some friction
between you and Miss McCoy.

- And I'd like to say...
- No problem, Captain.

Anyway, I'd like to say on her
behalf, that she is usually competent,

efficient and
extremely pleasant.

I just wish you had a
chance to know her.

- Hello, love.
- Oh, hi.

I see that you two have made up.

Kissed and made up.

Uh, I thought it best for Julie
to tell you herself, Captain.

Yes. Well, carry on.

Don't worry, Captain, we will.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Well, here we are.
- Hi, gang.

Nice to have you
working with us, Vicki.

Thank you. I can't
wait. What do I do?

Well, you're going
to be Becky's double.

See, when I call you, all you have to
do is take Becky's place. Simple as that.

- Wow! That's terrific!
- You want to try one?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Why don't you sit right here

until I need you,
okay? We'll try a scene.

- We'll try one now.
- Good.

Captain.

- You're...
- [GASPS] Oh, I'm sorry.

No problem, no problem.

It's your ship.

Okay, quiet on the set.
Let's try it. Becky, darling.

Come on, sweetheart.

All right, quiet on
the set. Roll 'em.

102 take one.

And... action!

Gee, Captain Billy, looks
like rough seas ahead.

Cut!

Okay, Vicki, now it's your turn.

All you have to do
is stand over here,

put your hand on your head
just like Becky did. Simple as that.

- Like this?
- Just like that, perfect.

- Do I say anything?
- No, just stand there.

Okay. Roll 'em.

103, take one. Marker.

Action!

Cut it and print it.

Beautiful, Becky, beautiful.

Huh? How did I do?

Elizabeth Taylor
would be jealous.

- Hello, Linda.
- Hello, Paul.

Linda, this is going to sound like a
strange question coming from me,

but may I borrow your lipstick?

[LAUGHS] Sure.

Thank you very much.

- Are you finished with my lipstick?
- Yes.

Can I have it back?

- I just realized something.
- So did I.

- Just how lovely you are.
- [CHUCKLES]

No, I realized I don't
know anything about you.

What is there to know?

I'm everything you've seen,

a charming, irresistible,
handsome doctor of zoology.

Currently on route
for Mexico to deliver

my two little chimps
to the Acapulco Zoo.

And, uh, my
favorite color is blue.

Tell me more.

Well, I specialize
in marsupials.

No, what shade of blue?

- JEFF: And roll 'em.
- MAN: 105, take one.

JEFF: Action.

Oh, they all look so delicious.

I guess I'll have
the coconut cream.

Cut. Beautiful, beautiful.

Okay, Vicki, darling,
ready for you.

I'm gonna get to eat pie.

All right, roll 'em.

And action!

Okay, let's take a break for lunch
and then we'll do the shark scene.

Shark scene?

GOPHER [OVER PA]: Ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to Acapulco.

Land tours will be
leaving in one half hour.

- Hi, Lynne.
- Hi.

- You feeling okay?
- I'm fine.

I just been doing
a lot of thinking.

Care to think out loud?

- I got a big problem.
- Well, what's that?

My ex-husband.

I think I still love him.

That doesn't sound like
such a big problem to me.

Divorces can be annulled
too, in a manner of speaking.

You know, he has a
lot of good qualities.

He's loving and caring,
but impossible to live with.

He drives me up the
wall with his nitpicking.

Well, why don't you try
it his way for a change?

- You mean be like him?
- Yeah. Pick a few nits of your own.

Maybe there's a reason you were
brought together on this cruise.

Maybe this is your
second chance.

I never thought of it like that.

- Well...
- Yeah.

I'll do it. Maybe there's
hope for us after all.

You know, it's funny.

I can't believe I'm in love with a guy
who has his boxer shorts dry cleaned.

I want to do those two close-ups of
Becky after lunch, scene 24 and 28.

And also I want to do a retake on
that catsup scene we did yesterday,

because it ran down her
blouse, it was dripping.

- It just didn't look good.
- Excuse me, miss.

- Hello, Captain.
- May I have your autograph?

I've only been a
star for half a day,

and the public just
won't leave me alone.

Your daughter's quite a little
actress, Captain. Good sport too.

- You should be very proud of her.
- I've always been proud of her.

Hey, maybe someday she'll
have a little TV show of her own.

We'll talk.

Right, I just hope she
doesn't forget us little people.

- Bye, Captain.
- Bye, now.

- Hi, Becky.
- Hi, Beck.

- Hello, dear.
- I've been thinking of something, Jeff.

- What's that?
- I don't need a double after all.

But, sweetheart, you're
the one that hired her.

That's right, that's why
I'm the one to fire her.

Either she goes or I go.

Now, Becky, be reasonable.

My contract says nothing
about being reasonable.

I'm sorry, kid.
Welcome to show biz.

GOPHER [OVER PA]:
Ladies and gentlemen,

we hope you enjoyed Acapulco.

Join us now for dancing
in the Acapulco Lounge.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]

Did your chimpanzees
get off okay?

They're en route for the
Acapulco Zoo as we speak.

But they did give me
a message for you.

That was the message?

Well, there was more, but I think
I'd better tell you the rest in private.

Believe me, Julie and
that guy are really heavy.

- You should've seen them this morning.
- You should have seen them at lunch.

Staring into one another's
eyes, holding hands.

Tell me, what do you think it
is? A crush, infatuation, true love?

I don't know, but I've been less
body contact at wrestling matches.

I always say if you want
to know the answers,

first you have to
ask the questions.

- May I?
- My pleasure.

Julie, I want you to know we only
have your best interest at heart.

He's single, 32, born in London,

is a consultant to the
California Zoological Society,

is a specialist in marsupials,

the animals that carry
their young in a pouch.

I know that.

And has the warmest
brown eyes I've ever seen.

STUBING: I guess I don't
blame you for taking that down.

Well, if I leave it up there,
I'll probably have nightmares.

How can anybody be so rotten?

I don't know.

Maybe it's not all her fault.

How can you say
that? She fired me!

What I mean is, here she is,

practically a child, thrown
into that adult world.

Think of the pressure on her.

Think of all the people who
depend on her to make a living.

How would you like to carry
all that around with you?

- Well, I guess I wouldn't. But still...
- Vicki, I know you're mad.

That's understandable.

Instead of hating her, maybe
you should feel sorry for her.

LYNNE: Come in.

- Oh. Sorry, wrong cabin.
- Carl!

Oh. Lynne, it's you!

- What happened here?
- Oh, nothing.

I just sort of cleaned
up the cabin for you.

You didn't have to do that.
It was fine the way it was.

- Carl, are you all right?
- I'm fine.

I... I just didn't get very
much sleep last night.

- Oh.
- Could I stay here, please?

- Of course.
- Thanks, Lynne.

Now, where are my pajamas?

Oh, I folded... I folded them up
and put them underneath your pillow.

Hey, thanks.

No, these are too warm.
Where are my other ones?

Carl, look what you're
doing to this place!

I'll get that stuff later. Now,
where are my pajamas?

Carl!

I don't know what
you're up to, but cut it out!

- What are you talking about?
- Look at this place.

What's gotten into you?
When did you become a slob?

I said I'd pick it up later.
What's gotten into you?

When did you
become so compulsive?

I'm... I'm just trying to be
the way you want me to be.

I guess I just can't do
anything to please you.

[SOBBING]

Don't cry. I'm sorry.

I was just trying to
see things your way.

- You were?
- Yes.

That's how I thought
you wanted me to be.

Oh, Carl, we've been so foolish.

How could we let such little
things break up our marriage?

I don't know, but let's not
make the same mistake twice.

From now on, I'll accept
you just the way you are.

Hi.

Nice night, isn't it?

Okay. What do you want?

Your job back? Forget it.

No, I don't want anything.

I just wanted to tell you
that in spite of everything,

I think you're a wonderful actress
and I'll always watch your show.

Good night.

Hey, wait!

- You don't want anything from me?
- No.

Well, that's a switch.

You mean people always want
something from you, even your friends?

What friends?

I never had any friends.

My father always says
that if you want a friend,

you have to first be a friend.

- Well, good night.
- Vicki?

Can I be your friend?

Tony.

- Hello, love.
- You disappeared.

Hm...

Well, I sensed that your
friends wanted to talk to you,

and I received some news
that I needed to think about.

- Not bad news, I hope.
- No, no, no. Good news. Good news.

I, uh... it's the only
job I ever wanted.

The chief of research of the
Rossmore Animal Reserve?

The finest facility of its
kind. Opportunity of a lifetime.

- Wonderful!
- But it's very far away.

Australia.

A few miles northwest of Sydney.

The work will be hard,
but, uh, we'll handle it.

We? I thought you worked alone.

I do.

The "we" means you and I.

Tony, I don't know if I
want to live with you.

Well, I don't know if I
want to live without you.

I want to thank you both.

Because of you two,
we're getting remarried.

Oh, that's terrific!
Congratulations!

You and Lynne deserve all
the credit, you did it yourselves.

We decided not to let a few
personal habits ruin our marriage.

That's right. And after the wedding,
when everybody throws the rice,

this time he promised he
won't stop to sweep it up.

- [LAUGHS]
- Bye-bye!

Bye.

- Bye-bye.
- Captain?

- Yes?
- I wanted to thank you and Vicki

for everything.

And my Aunt Gert
wants to thank you, too.

And that's exactly
why I want to thank you.

Becky's calling me "Aunt Gert" again
after years of calling me "Hey, you!"

Captain, I'd like to thank
you for the use of your ship.

I think things worked
out perfectly, don't you?

- They certainly did.
- Oh, remember, Vicki.

You promised to come
and visit me at the studio.

I'll treat you to a
hot fudge sundae.

Fantastic. As long as I
get to eat it and not wear it.

- Goodbye, friend.
- Bye-bye, friend.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye, Gert.

Well, mates, another voyage
through unknown waters

successfully navigated
to Acapulco and home.

How do we do it?

ISAAC: Well,
some do it very well.

Yes, it does seem as if
Julie has found a friend.

Yeah, what I'm afraid of is
that maybe we've lost one.

Hey, wait a minute. Do I have to fight
the whole crew just to kiss you goodbye?

No. But you'll have to fight us
if you don't kiss her goodbye.

Guess what? Tony's invited me to
spend my vacation with him in Australia.

- Are you going?
- Mm-hm.

And I've also invited
her to be my wife.

Well?

I refuse to answer on the grounds
that I might incriminate myself.