The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 3, Episode 26 - Vicki's First Love/The High Cost of Loving/Accident Prone - full transcript
(theme music playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪
(theme music playing)
I still don't think you
should take this trip.
I just have to get away, Harry.
And remember, you don't
need any new romances.
That Lee Marvin
decision is murder
for wealthy guys like you.
After all, the court made
you pay off your last
live-in girlfriend almost
half a million bucks.
I know. I signed the check.
As your lawyer, I'm warning you.
It won't happen again.
Good.
Just in case, take these.
Before you even
shake hands with a girl,
be sure she signs
one of these releases
freeing you of any
legal obligations.
See you next week.
Don't forget.
No girls, no nothing.
And oh, enjoy yourself.
(theme music playing)
Oh, sir, listen. Let
me give you a hand.
Oh, thanks but what I
could really use is a leg.
Well, what happened?
Car accident with some
crazy woman driver.
I just want to enjoy this trip
and forget the whole thing.
I'm Dr. Bricker.
Just call me if
you need anything.
Uh, that you've
got to get yourself.
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
That's my fault.
It's quite all right.
Oh, no, no! Karen Ellison.
Not you, here.
Don Barry.
I don't believe it.
This nut rammed into
my car and broke my leg!
Now she's trying to get yours.
That was your fault, not mine.
Why don't I just show
you to your cabin?
Do you know that you caused
me the most terrifying experience
of my life?
I may never drive a car again.
Every pedestrian in
America will light a candle.
Good.
Then maybe you will be
able to see the road better.
Welcome aboard the hate boat.
(theme music playing)
JULIE: Hello. Welcome aboard.
Where do I find my cabin?
My name is Matthew.
Oh, Mr. Matthew, welcome aboard.
Never mind. Can
you help me, Miss?
Um, Promenade 110.
- Through those doors and left.
- Thank you.
Why do you suppose
he was avoiding me?
I guess he just prefers
a younger woman.
Aw.
Say, over there with
the Captain, isn't it...?
JULIE: It is. That's
Mark Redding.
- Here?
- Yes.
Where?
This way, please.
Oh no. Here he comes.
Oh, my hair's a mess.
Am I wearing lipstick?
Relax. You're fine.
You're the younger
woman, remember?
I'd like to have you meet our
cruise director, Julie McCoy.
- Hi, Julie.
- How do you do?
- Please call me Mark.
- Okay.
And this is my daughter, Vicki.
Hey, Vicki.
How's it going?
Well, uh, perhaps you'd
like to take Mr. Redding
for one of your deluxe tours?
I guess I could find some time.
Vicki, if you're too busy,
I'm sure that I could, uh...
- Can I call you Mark?
- Sure.
(theme music playing)
(horn blowing)
(theme music playing)
Oh, can little me
sign your cast as well?
Oh, I don't need your pen.
I could get a
knife and carve it.
Sorry, there's no more room.
So many other girls,
you know how it is.
I'd be happy to carve
it on the other leg.
Thanks. Paying enough
getting the first one fixed.
Well, with all the money you're
collecting from your insurance
claim, you could
buy a bionic leg.
With you around, I'd
probably need one.
Well, look. You're
still better off than I am.
You made me a nervous wreck.
Look how my hand shakes.
Well, looks like you two
have stopped fighting.
Have you become friends now?
Friends with him?
I'd rather be friends
with Frankenstein.
He's perfect for you.
His parts are replaceable.
This is a big ship. Why don't
you each choose alternate decks?
Good idea.
I'm going down to the card room.
I only tell you that so you
won't run me down again.
You'll recognize me.
I'll be the one wearing a
red carnation on his cast.
(theme music playing)
Well, hi. I hope you're
having a good time.
Let me know if there's
anything I can do
to help you enjoy your cruise.
Ah, I already gave.
(theme music playing)
You know, this
boat is much bigger
than I thought it
was going to be.
Yeah. It's like a floating city.
Now you've seen the whole ship.
And this is your cabin.
Great.
You know, the uh, pool up on
the deck looks like a lot of fun.
Why don't you meet me up
there in about 15 minutes?
- Huh?
- Unless you got another date.
Oh, no.
Fifteen minutes... at the pool.
That'll be fine.
You're a sweetheart.
See you then.
(theme music playing)
Oh, Vicki. How'd you get
along with Mark Redding?
Honey, this is your
father, the Captain.
Remember, we met earlier.
Oh, I'm sorry, Captain Merrill.
I was thinking of
something else.
Hmm.
- Dad.
- Um-hmm.
You were much older
than Mom, weren't you?
That's right.
How much older?
Oh, six or seven years.
But it didn't make
any difference, did it?
No. It's very common.
It usually works out better
when the man is older.
I agree totally.
You do?
(disco music playing)
Isaac: Um-hmm.
Sure are a lot of good
looking ladies this trip.
Hmm.
Say, you ought to be
out there socializing.
No way.
The only friendships I can
be interested in are with men.
Oh?
No. You don t understand.
But I do. I'm a doctor.
But then again, I really don't.
No, you see, men are decent.
What you see is what you get.
But them, look closely,
each one of them
has this invisible wire
pulling you right
into the court room.
They should be forced
to wear price tags,
like everything else
you have to pay for.
Pay for?
I think you have the wrong
idea about the cruise business.
The only thing I'll
ring up is drinks.
The best things
in life are free.
Free?
Look at this canceled check.
That's what the court made
me pay my last girlfriend.
Four hundred sixty
thousand dollars.
That's more than
I made all week.
I keep that to remind
me not to get involved,
and there are other
things in life besides girls.
See ya.
I sure hope he's wrong.
Me, too.
If guys start giving up girls,
we're going to be
out of business.
The Love Boat will
become a bait barge.
(theme music playing)
(Isaac humming)
- Oh!
- Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Why do I keep doing
these terrible things?
That's okay. You just
made a lot of fish very happy.
Well, at least
let me pay for it.
No, no, no, no. That's okay.
But you could do me one favor.
Uh, stay right here.
Don't move.
Give me a ten second
head start, okay?
(theme music playing)
Ooh!
Thanks.
You waiting to see the doctor?
Yeah. He's going
to check my cast.
I guess it's a bit difficult
to get around on that thing.
Oh, not really.
I just have to watch out
for stray bowling balls.
Well, it's good that
you can joke about it.
I can't complain.
Thanks to the insurance
company, I get a free vacation.
With the two of
us off the roads,
so is the automobile club.
What do you mean?
This is my first accident.
First?
Well, uh... maybe the second.
Now really. How many
accidents have you had?
Oh, four.
Four?
Well, how many
accidents have you had?
Oh, just a few more than you.
Oh, then I guess it was
inevitable that we would
run into each other.
Hey, uh, want to sign my cast?
Sure, why not?
Since I'm paying for it.
I like your accent. It's cute.
It's Swedish, isn't it?
Uh-huh. And so is that.
DON: Ska vi ata middag ikvalll?
Translation.
How about dinner tonight?
Great idea. Sure.
I'll pick you up
at eight 'o'clock.
Lovely.
(speaking Swedish)
Absolutely. Uh,
what does that mean?
Good bye. See you later.
(soft music playing)
JULIE: Right, two, three. Hello.
To the left.
Hi. Want to join our class?
Sure.
And to the left.
And one more hip.
Okay, that's good. Flat
back and touch your toes.
Flat back and touch your toes.
Flat back and touch your toes.
JULIE: Good.
There you go. Looks good.
Okay.
(giggling)
JULIE: Flat back
and touch your toes.
Flat back and touch your toes.
Now touch. Flat
back. That's good.
Flat back and touch your toes.
That's real good.
So after the cruise,
I got to go to Vegas
because I'm playing
there for two weeks.
And then back to New
York where I'm starting...
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi.
Excuse me. Could I
have your autograph?
Yeah, sure.
There you go.
Oh, right.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Um, see you again?
Okay.
(playful music playing)
Very obvious, isn't she?
What?
VICKI: I guess you
get that all the time.
Huh?
Oh, autographs.
Yeah, all the time.
Hey, I'm going to get
some more juice, okay?
Hey, looks like you snagged
the most popular guy on board.
Yeah, and get a load
of that competition, huh?
DOC: What competition.
He's already found the girl
who interests him right here.
Yeah, sure.
So, is this your first cruise?
Oh. Here you go, Vicki.
- See you later.
- Bye-bye.
(theme music playing)
So, who needs a
superstar anyway?
You still have us.
(dramatic music playing)
(theme music playing)
(playful music playing)
Hi, Mark. Could I
have your autograph?
(knock on door)
Who is it?
Hi. I brought the stuff
you wanted to borrow.
Oh, my goodness.
I see the hurricane didn't
miss. Are there any survivors?
Gee.
How do you do
all this every day?
Being grown up
sure is a lot of work.
Oh, you get used
to it... gradually.
It's almost time for dinner,
and I'm nowhere near ready.
I'll never be able to do this.
Well, how would you like
some help from an old pro?
Great.
I sure need lots of it.
Well, you don't need
quite so much as you think.
You know, the natural
look is always best.
- It is?
- Sure, it is.
Let me put down these things
and then see what we
can do with your hair.
Do you think we
can maybe do it up?
Yeah. I think maybe.
Sit down.
There you go.
- Julie.
- Hmm?
How long does it take
to... look like a woman?
Oh, you never know.
Don't be in too big of a rush.
It'll happen soon enough.
Sure doesn't seem like it.
I know what you mean,
and I know what a difficult
time you're going through.
My mother used to call it
growing pains... when you're not
quite a little girl anymore and
you're not quite a grown woman.
Don't worry. You do get there.
You know, Vicki,
a bust doesn't have anything
to do with being a woman.
Look at me. I'm no Suzanne
Somers, and I do real fine.
Honest.
Well, enough of the seriousness.
Let's get your hair together.
We will find one gorgeous
grown up hairdo coming up.
Yeah.
Did we get all the curlers?
I think so.
(Greek music playing)
(applause)
Ah, this is what I
always dreamed of.
A romantic cruise,
a beautiful girl,
and me hopping along behind her.
Oh, oh. I'm so sorry.
It's all right. I'm
getting used to it now.
Maybe we should
put bells on you.
ISAAC: Thank you, Jorge.
Thank you for the help.
- We make a good team.
- Uh-huh.
I'm really enjoying the evening.
Me, too.
Who could ever think of
us to ending up like this?
Do you know ever since I was
a young girl, I fantasized about
meeting someone like you on a
dreamy cruise to faraway places?
Miles from my insurance agent.
You know, you're very
lovely, and that's real.
The accident did not
affect my eyesight.
Thank you.
It's all kind of
wonderful, isn't it?
You're not even
a little bit nervous?
Why should I be?
Because of what I'm thinking.
What are you thinking?
We both seem such menaces.
So right after dinner, in the
interest of passenger safety,
I think we should
go to my cabin.
Yeah.
The passengers would be safer.
What about me?
You could always run.
I could never catch you.
Good evening, Merrill.
- Good evening, Adam.
- Good evening.
Oh, excuse me.
I was telling you
about my little girl.
I think I misled you.
Well, well look at you.
You look lovely.
Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, may
I present my daughter, Vicki.
Good evening, everyone.
Please be seated.
Sorry I'm late.
You think the Captain would
mind having me for a son-in-law?
- Good evening, Captain.
- Evening, Mark.
- Hi.
- Oh, hello there.
You certainly are
full of surprises.
I almost didn't recognize
you when you came in.
You look sensational.
You really think so?
Yeah.
You going to be
on the Lido Deck?
Uh-huh.
Save me a dance?
- Okay.
- Terrific.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Remember, you
still have a curfew.
Oh, Captain, please.
I'll make it up some other time.
Well, okay.
On second thought,
I think I'll turn in early.
Whatever you say, honey.
Just seems a shame to deprive
so many people of seeing you
when you look so ravishing.
Maybe another time.
(somber music playing)
(theme music playing)
ISAAC: All right.
Hey, how you
feeling after dinner?
Oh, okay I guess.
You're surrounded
by that all year round?
- Yeah.
- Um-hmm.
How do you stand it?
Well, you sort of develop
a mental discipline.
Mental discipline, huh?
And it helps to, uh...
That and cold showers.
It's got to be something else
to do on this ship besides...
Well, sure, there's,
uh, bingo and movies.
Movies.
That Will do it.
At least I won't have to
watch any of this anymore.
Hey, what's playing tonight?
An Italian film, La Passionate.
La Passionate.
Yeah, what's that mean?
That means he's in trouble.
Ah, good. Brut and
chilled just right.
You handled that
like you're used to it.
Well, of course. I do
this is a way of life.
I always have champagne
every time I have an accident
and take a cruise.
Ow!
I'm sorry. Let me see.
Oh!
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Are you all right?
Uh-huh.
Uh, huh... we are menaces.
Maybe we...
maybe we should stay
in this cabin forever.
(romantic music playing)
(moan)
(knock on door)
I'll get it.
Cablegram for Mr. Don Berry...
if he's still alive.
He sure is.
Here, cablegram for you.
You're soaked.
KAREN: Oh, oh, that's all right.
My robe's hanging
behind the bathroom door.
Why don't you change?
I'll do that.
(romantic music playing)
Please, excuse me.
(dramatic music stab)
Oh no!
What's wrong?
What's wrong is that judging
from the report you gave them,
your insurance company says
they're not honoring my claim.
Oh, but you can collect
from your company.
My company was on
60 Minutes last week.
The company president's missing.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to sue you and
your company and if I have to,
I'm going to put you
on the witness stand
and expose the lies
you obviously told them!
- Lies?
- Yes, lies!
I don't know what you
said, but it had to be all lies.
Well, sue all you like!
I was obviously right
about you in the first place.
Good bye!
(theme music playing)
FRANCESCA: No,
Gino, you mustn't.
GINO: My lips hunger for yours.
FRANCESCA : Gino...
GINO: I take you in my arms.
I kiss your cheek.
FRANCESCA: Don't.
GINO: Your nose.
FRANCESCA : Stop.
GINO: Your neck.
FRANCESCA : But don't.
Stop. Please.
GINO: Amore.
FRANCESCA : Oh, don't stop.
Please, don't stop.
FRANCESCA : Gino, Gino.
GINO: Francesca.
FRANCESCA: Gino, no.
(playful music playing)
(theme music playing)
Must be very interesting.
Aw, it's nothing.
Just a woman's article.
Doc, what is it about
women that attracts you most?
Well, I don't know.
Brains, beauty?
Well, I guess what
attracts me most is,
uh, a woman's mind.
That's what you go for?
Oh, absolutely.
Nothing gets to me as
much as a woman's mind.
Uh, it's... it's what's
up here that counts.
What about their figures?
Figures?
Well, I suppose, uh... I
mean, figures are fine,
but I've always been
a brain man myself.
VIVIAN: There you are, Doc.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Oh, uh, Vivian.
Well, I guess
we'd better be off.
Are we going to go
down to your cabin?
To play chess?
She's deep, very deep.
Excuse me.
(theme music playing)
Hi.
Oh, don tied bad.
It's been my experience
that men are basically fickle.
Oh, I wasn't interested
in him anyway.
Oh.
He's coming back.
Careful girls, you don't
want to get too much sun.
Girls?
That's it. That's
all, after last night?
Vicki, is anything wrong?
That was a very fast exit.
It was only like you said.
- Growing pains.
- Oh.
Growing pains?
She doesn't look like she
can afford to grow much more.
Men. You're all alike!
(theme music playing)
Hi, I'm Angela.
Hi.
You getting ready in case
we have to take to the lifeboats.
Therapy, keeps me busy.
Dry my back, would you?
Not with your
breath, with the towel.
You're kind of
cute. Are you taken?
Taken?
You know, married,
engaged, girlfriend aboard?
None of the above.
Um, you missed a spot.
Uh, sure feels good to be out.
Out?
Well, I teach at
this boy's school,
and we have this measles
epidemic and anyway,
I've been in quarantine with
ten-year-olds for six weeks.
And I really like men.
And I've been
locked up a long time.
So, I came aboard to catch
up on some serious socializing.
You know what I mean?
- Six weeks?
- Um-hmm.
Shall we, uh, discuss it
over some orange juice?
It's full of vitamins,
and you never know when
you're going to need them.
No, you never do.
Two orange juice, please.
Good.
So, let's play.
Your court or mine?
(swallows hard)
Court.
Would you mind signing a form?
A what?
Just a little piece of
paper. It's not for me.
It's for my lawyer.
See, he's kind of superstitious.
It'll just take a minute.
I'll be right back.
- Save my place.
- Well, hurry.
(playful music playing)
Angela.
I'm back.
Here's the form.
Angela, it's me.
(theme music playing)
Going ashore?
No. I'll probably
trip over someone
and start an
international incident.
Go on, you can handle that.
Carry a fog horn or something.
No. I don't feel like it.
What's the matter?
You see, my insurance company
refuses to pay Don's claim,
and he's blaming me for it.
Things were going
so well between us.
I really like him, and I
thought it was mutual.
Well, he's probably
forgotten the whole thing.
No. He was pretty angry.
You see, he counted on
that money to pay for this trip.
And now, I can't convince
him it wasn't my fault.
Then go and tell him.
I guess we're just two
ships that collide in the night
and both sink.
So I lost a pretty neat guy.
Well, that's the only thing
I'm not insured against.
(playful music playing)
(knock on door)
Come in.
Oh, hello, Julie.
Hi.
What is it?
Well, I don't quite
know how to put this.
It's about Vicki.
Oh, and Mark Redding.
Oh, you already know.
(chuckles) Hard to miss.
Oh, well, you see, sir,
it's her first big crush,
and I think she
needs some guidance.
She's feeling kind of
rejected and ugly ducklingish.
If you'd like, I'll talk to her.
No, thank you. I'll handle it.
It's a crucial time
for both of us.
I just want Vicki to
know and understand
that I'm here for her
when she needs me.
I always will be.
I just don't know exactly
what I'm going to say.
Oh, well, don't worry sir.
You'll think of something.
- Promise me.
- Um-hmm.
You can start off by telling
her she's got a great dad.
Bye-bye.
(dramatic music playing)
(theme music playing)
GOPHER ON P.A.: Land tours
will be leaving in ten minutes
from the Coral Deck gangway.
We hope you enjoy your day.
Why don't we have that
next round down in my cabin?
I thought you'd never ask.
One little thing.
I have something I'd
like you to sign first.
The check?
No, it's just a
little paper... form.
You want me to sign
something before we...?
No, it's nothing, really.
(playful music playing)
Vivian.
I'll have double bourbon
and a cyanide chaser.
If you order two cyanides,
you get to keep the Donald
Duck glass we serve it in.
What's happening? Want to talk?
Nah.
I made such a jerk of myself
with someone I
really care about.
Hmm. Would you believe
that is the very first time
that this has ever
happened on this ship?
Slammed her head with my chin,
drenched her so she'll probably
get pneumonia, and almost
shot her ear off with a cork.
How can she forgive me for that?
Hmm.
Got a thought.
You ready?
Find her and tell
her you're sorry.
She wouldn't listen to me.
I'd throw myself overboard,
but I'd probably miss the ocean.
(theme music playing)
(knock on door)
Come in.
Hi.
Hi.
I didn't see you in the
shore party, and I got worried.
I decided to clean
my room instead.
Now I'm really worried.
Uh...
Vicki, you know that I
respect your privacy.
But, uh, this is one of
those times when I think
a girl needs a mother.
And since I'm
playing both parts, I...
What I'm trying to say is...
I'd like it if you'd include me
in what's happening
to your life.
I know you love
me, Captain Merrill,
but somebody your age
could never understand.
Well, I wasn't born
this old. (chuckles)
It's Mark Redding.
You probably think I'm silly.
No, I don't.
It reminds me of my
first crush when I was 12.
Twelve?
How old was she?
Oh, very old, almost 24.
Miss Foley, my beautiful,
beautiful sixth grade teacher.
You know, I used
to stay in after school
just so I could clean
her erasers. (chuckles)
Boy, was I smitten.
I bet she never led you on.
Sure, she did.
But not knowingly.
She was just being
nice, like Mark has been.
But I misunderstood because
that's what I wanted to do.
Oh.
I think I understand.
Naturally, she broke my heart.
She eloped with
the football coach,
a real zombie.
But I had the last
laugh. I showed her.
- How?
- I stopped cleaning her erasers.
Vicki, the most important
thing is you keep liking yourself,
just the way you are right now.
Okay?
Okay.
Don't forget, the
big dance tonight.
I expect to see you there.
But what about my curfew?
I'm supposed to
be in bed by ten.
Well, we can
forget that tonight.
Who could ever sleep
in such a clean room?
(theme music playing)
(lounge music playing)
It's really kind of sad, Gopher.
He's crazy about Karen, but
he won't do anything about it.
We ought to help him.
Well, I don't know
about that, man.
When those two get together,
the free world is in danger.
Yeah, but if they don t
latch on to each other,
they're going to end
up finding someone else,
which means two
unsuspecting strangers
are going to end up
in a demolition derby.
Right. Okay. I'll tell you what.
I'll get Karen.
What if he leaves?
He won't. He kind
of likes it here.
Okay.
Uh, is there anything
else I can get you?
Oh, no thanks. I'm
going to finish this and go.
Go?
You can't.
Um, the next drink
is on the house.
How come?
Captain's orders.
See, we have our special, uh,
happy hour for, uh, hobblers.
Not for me.
I'll be leaving.
Okay.
(Isaac humming)
(disco music playing)
JULIE: Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have a
very special treat.
May I introduce Mark Redding.
(applause)
(fanfare music playing)
(pop music playing)
♪ When I see you
Walking down the street ♪
♪ I remember ♪
♪ Everything about
you Oh, so sweet ♪
♪ So warm and tender ♪
♪ Ooh, I can't stop lovin' you ♪
♪ It's all I want to do ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ When I see the
sunlight In your hair ♪
♪ The moonlight in your eyes ♪
♪ Suddenly I know how
Much you really care ♪
♪ I realize ♪
♪ Ooh, I can't stop lovin' you ♪
♪ It's all I want to do ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ Every time I see
you I'm in love again ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ I know I am such a lucky man ♪
(saxophone solo)
♪ Ooh, I can't stop lovin' you ♪
♪ It's all I want to do ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ Every time ♪
(audience cheering)
Wait, wait, please!
I can explain!
(funky music playing)
Excuse me, uh, are
you in to dancing?
There's no point in it.
You're a pretty girl.
We dance. I get
interested in you.
We go outside in the
moonlight, I'd get more interested.
Then you'd sign this
form and poof, you split.
Not necessarily.
There's no point...
You mean you would sign it?
Why not, if everything
else is okay?
Why not?
Sure.
Oh, it's so noisy.
Want to skip the dance and
go right onto the moonlight?
Oh, sounds promising.
Yes.
Well, thank you.
(funky music playing)
Looks like the Captain is
bending the curfew rules
just a wee bit.
Bending? I think they're
completely shattered.
Captain, you're the Love
Boat's answer to John Travolta.
Why, thank you Adam. Thank you.
Hey, Vicki.
Oh, Mark, a marvelous
show. I enjoyed it.
Thank you very much.
Well, Vicki, you want to
show me some new steps?
I'm sorry, but I already
promised the next dance to Doc.
You did?
She did. She sure did.
Well, uh, maybe later, huh?
Well, good for
her. She got even.
There's no reason for
her not to dance with Mark.
He didn't deliberately
try to hurt her.
If she felt stronger
about herself,
there'd be no need
for this getting even.
Well, Captain, your
daughter, like the rest of us,
is only human.
And sometimes
getting over someone,
it's a tiny bit easier
when you get even a little.
(theme music playing)
Isaac, have you
seen my crutches?
Um, did you come in with them?
How do you think
I got here, by taxi?
They were right here.
That's the third pair today.
Can you describe 'em.
You know, I'd better go
and report these stolen.
Hey, what's going on?
Was he badly hurt?
Well, you know how clumsy he is.
See, he tripped
and he hit his head
and he keeps calling
your name, Karen, Karen.
- Karen!
- See, he said it again.
Are you all right?
Well, he's a fast healer.
What's this all about?
Hmm, he told me you'd
been in an accident.
It was part of my job.
I'm the Love Boat liar.
ISAAC: But it's the truth.
Because of all the accidents
you two have been in,
this has been the worst kind
because he's been hurt here.
I really don't think, uh...
So you two just better get
your act together, you know?
Yeah. You're not getting
your crutches back until you do.
I'm sorry about last night.
Let's never mention
the accident again.
What accident?
What's wrong?
(gulps)
I think I swallowed
your earring.
(theme music playing)
(romantic music playing)
Oh boy, I wish I
met you the first day.
Well, we'll have plenty
of time to make up for it.
Getting kind of late.
I know.
I should get you
back to your cabin.
Oh, I'd rather stay
here if you don't mind.
You sure you don't
mind about the paper?
No.
Oh, it's gone. I
must have... left it.
It'll just... take me...
The hell with my lawyer.
(dramatic music playing)
(up-tempo music playing)
(theme music playing)
Ah.
We just wanted to thank you.
My pleasure.
You're all very special
people. Thank you.
We'll be coming back.
Well, in that case, I'll
double our insurance.
- So long.
- So long.
- Bye.
- So long.
- Oh, goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Thanks for everything.
Yes. Wonderful.
So long.
- Well, what's your prediction?
- Oh, definite marriage.
Think they'll have children?
Whether they want to or not.
We'll go right from here to
my place in Santa Barbara,
spend a week there.
- A week?
- Or longer.
No more papers to
sign. None of that.
I think is the beginning
of something really solid.
- Uh...
- Anything wrong?
Yeah. I don't know
how to ask you this,
but I'll have to ask
for your signature.
My signature?
It's not me. It's
my silly attorney.
See, my last romance
cost me a fortune.
Vivian, where have you
been the last two days?
Oh, playing chess.
- Bye.
- Good bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Good bye.
- Bye, Vicki.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Well, there goes the
first man in my life.
Oh, you'll get another one.
I've already got one.
You have?
(theme music playing)
(theme music playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪
(theme music playing)
I still don't think you
should take this trip.
I just have to get away, Harry.
And remember, you don't
need any new romances.
That Lee Marvin
decision is murder
for wealthy guys like you.
After all, the court made
you pay off your last
live-in girlfriend almost
half a million bucks.
I know. I signed the check.
As your lawyer, I'm warning you.
It won't happen again.
Good.
Just in case, take these.
Before you even
shake hands with a girl,
be sure she signs
one of these releases
freeing you of any
legal obligations.
See you next week.
Don't forget.
No girls, no nothing.
And oh, enjoy yourself.
(theme music playing)
Oh, sir, listen. Let
me give you a hand.
Oh, thanks but what I
could really use is a leg.
Well, what happened?
Car accident with some
crazy woman driver.
I just want to enjoy this trip
and forget the whole thing.
I'm Dr. Bricker.
Just call me if
you need anything.
Uh, that you've
got to get yourself.
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
That's my fault.
It's quite all right.
Oh, no, no! Karen Ellison.
Not you, here.
Don Barry.
I don't believe it.
This nut rammed into
my car and broke my leg!
Now she's trying to get yours.
That was your fault, not mine.
Why don't I just show
you to your cabin?
Do you know that you caused
me the most terrifying experience
of my life?
I may never drive a car again.
Every pedestrian in
America will light a candle.
Good.
Then maybe you will be
able to see the road better.
Welcome aboard the hate boat.
(theme music playing)
JULIE: Hello. Welcome aboard.
Where do I find my cabin?
My name is Matthew.
Oh, Mr. Matthew, welcome aboard.
Never mind. Can
you help me, Miss?
Um, Promenade 110.
- Through those doors and left.
- Thank you.
Why do you suppose
he was avoiding me?
I guess he just prefers
a younger woman.
Aw.
Say, over there with
the Captain, isn't it...?
JULIE: It is. That's
Mark Redding.
- Here?
- Yes.
Where?
This way, please.
Oh no. Here he comes.
Oh, my hair's a mess.
Am I wearing lipstick?
Relax. You're fine.
You're the younger
woman, remember?
I'd like to have you meet our
cruise director, Julie McCoy.
- Hi, Julie.
- How do you do?
- Please call me Mark.
- Okay.
And this is my daughter, Vicki.
Hey, Vicki.
How's it going?
Well, uh, perhaps you'd
like to take Mr. Redding
for one of your deluxe tours?
I guess I could find some time.
Vicki, if you're too busy,
I'm sure that I could, uh...
- Can I call you Mark?
- Sure.
(theme music playing)
(horn blowing)
(theme music playing)
Oh, can little me
sign your cast as well?
Oh, I don't need your pen.
I could get a
knife and carve it.
Sorry, there's no more room.
So many other girls,
you know how it is.
I'd be happy to carve
it on the other leg.
Thanks. Paying enough
getting the first one fixed.
Well, with all the money you're
collecting from your insurance
claim, you could
buy a bionic leg.
With you around, I'd
probably need one.
Well, look. You're
still better off than I am.
You made me a nervous wreck.
Look how my hand shakes.
Well, looks like you two
have stopped fighting.
Have you become friends now?
Friends with him?
I'd rather be friends
with Frankenstein.
He's perfect for you.
His parts are replaceable.
This is a big ship. Why don't
you each choose alternate decks?
Good idea.
I'm going down to the card room.
I only tell you that so you
won't run me down again.
You'll recognize me.
I'll be the one wearing a
red carnation on his cast.
(theme music playing)
Well, hi. I hope you're
having a good time.
Let me know if there's
anything I can do
to help you enjoy your cruise.
Ah, I already gave.
(theme music playing)
You know, this
boat is much bigger
than I thought it
was going to be.
Yeah. It's like a floating city.
Now you've seen the whole ship.
And this is your cabin.
Great.
You know, the uh, pool up on
the deck looks like a lot of fun.
Why don't you meet me up
there in about 15 minutes?
- Huh?
- Unless you got another date.
Oh, no.
Fifteen minutes... at the pool.
That'll be fine.
You're a sweetheart.
See you then.
(theme music playing)
Oh, Vicki. How'd you get
along with Mark Redding?
Honey, this is your
father, the Captain.
Remember, we met earlier.
Oh, I'm sorry, Captain Merrill.
I was thinking of
something else.
Hmm.
- Dad.
- Um-hmm.
You were much older
than Mom, weren't you?
That's right.
How much older?
Oh, six or seven years.
But it didn't make
any difference, did it?
No. It's very common.
It usually works out better
when the man is older.
I agree totally.
You do?
(disco music playing)
Isaac: Um-hmm.
Sure are a lot of good
looking ladies this trip.
Hmm.
Say, you ought to be
out there socializing.
No way.
The only friendships I can
be interested in are with men.
Oh?
No. You don t understand.
But I do. I'm a doctor.
But then again, I really don't.
No, you see, men are decent.
What you see is what you get.
But them, look closely,
each one of them
has this invisible wire
pulling you right
into the court room.
They should be forced
to wear price tags,
like everything else
you have to pay for.
Pay for?
I think you have the wrong
idea about the cruise business.
The only thing I'll
ring up is drinks.
The best things
in life are free.
Free?
Look at this canceled check.
That's what the court made
me pay my last girlfriend.
Four hundred sixty
thousand dollars.
That's more than
I made all week.
I keep that to remind
me not to get involved,
and there are other
things in life besides girls.
See ya.
I sure hope he's wrong.
Me, too.
If guys start giving up girls,
we're going to be
out of business.
The Love Boat will
become a bait barge.
(theme music playing)
(Isaac humming)
- Oh!
- Oh!
I'm so sorry.
Why do I keep doing
these terrible things?
That's okay. You just
made a lot of fish very happy.
Well, at least
let me pay for it.
No, no, no, no. That's okay.
But you could do me one favor.
Uh, stay right here.
Don't move.
Give me a ten second
head start, okay?
(theme music playing)
Ooh!
Thanks.
You waiting to see the doctor?
Yeah. He's going
to check my cast.
I guess it's a bit difficult
to get around on that thing.
Oh, not really.
I just have to watch out
for stray bowling balls.
Well, it's good that
you can joke about it.
I can't complain.
Thanks to the insurance
company, I get a free vacation.
With the two of
us off the roads,
so is the automobile club.
What do you mean?
This is my first accident.
First?
Well, uh... maybe the second.
Now really. How many
accidents have you had?
Oh, four.
Four?
Well, how many
accidents have you had?
Oh, just a few more than you.
Oh, then I guess it was
inevitable that we would
run into each other.
Hey, uh, want to sign my cast?
Sure, why not?
Since I'm paying for it.
I like your accent. It's cute.
It's Swedish, isn't it?
Uh-huh. And so is that.
DON: Ska vi ata middag ikvalll?
Translation.
How about dinner tonight?
Great idea. Sure.
I'll pick you up
at eight 'o'clock.
Lovely.
(speaking Swedish)
Absolutely. Uh,
what does that mean?
Good bye. See you later.
(soft music playing)
JULIE: Right, two, three. Hello.
To the left.
Hi. Want to join our class?
Sure.
And to the left.
And one more hip.
Okay, that's good. Flat
back and touch your toes.
Flat back and touch your toes.
Flat back and touch your toes.
JULIE: Good.
There you go. Looks good.
Okay.
(giggling)
JULIE: Flat back
and touch your toes.
Flat back and touch your toes.
Now touch. Flat
back. That's good.
Flat back and touch your toes.
That's real good.
So after the cruise,
I got to go to Vegas
because I'm playing
there for two weeks.
And then back to New
York where I'm starting...
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi.
Excuse me. Could I
have your autograph?
Yeah, sure.
There you go.
Oh, right.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Um, see you again?
Okay.
(playful music playing)
Very obvious, isn't she?
What?
VICKI: I guess you
get that all the time.
Huh?
Oh, autographs.
Yeah, all the time.
Hey, I'm going to get
some more juice, okay?
Hey, looks like you snagged
the most popular guy on board.
Yeah, and get a load
of that competition, huh?
DOC: What competition.
He's already found the girl
who interests him right here.
Yeah, sure.
So, is this your first cruise?
Oh. Here you go, Vicki.
- See you later.
- Bye-bye.
(theme music playing)
So, who needs a
superstar anyway?
You still have us.
(dramatic music playing)
(theme music playing)
(playful music playing)
Hi, Mark. Could I
have your autograph?
(knock on door)
Who is it?
Hi. I brought the stuff
you wanted to borrow.
Oh, my goodness.
I see the hurricane didn't
miss. Are there any survivors?
Gee.
How do you do
all this every day?
Being grown up
sure is a lot of work.
Oh, you get used
to it... gradually.
It's almost time for dinner,
and I'm nowhere near ready.
I'll never be able to do this.
Well, how would you like
some help from an old pro?
Great.
I sure need lots of it.
Well, you don't need
quite so much as you think.
You know, the natural
look is always best.
- It is?
- Sure, it is.
Let me put down these things
and then see what we
can do with your hair.
Do you think we
can maybe do it up?
Yeah. I think maybe.
Sit down.
There you go.
- Julie.
- Hmm?
How long does it take
to... look like a woman?
Oh, you never know.
Don't be in too big of a rush.
It'll happen soon enough.
Sure doesn't seem like it.
I know what you mean,
and I know what a difficult
time you're going through.
My mother used to call it
growing pains... when you're not
quite a little girl anymore and
you're not quite a grown woman.
Don't worry. You do get there.
You know, Vicki,
a bust doesn't have anything
to do with being a woman.
Look at me. I'm no Suzanne
Somers, and I do real fine.
Honest.
Well, enough of the seriousness.
Let's get your hair together.
We will find one gorgeous
grown up hairdo coming up.
Yeah.
Did we get all the curlers?
I think so.
(Greek music playing)
(applause)
Ah, this is what I
always dreamed of.
A romantic cruise,
a beautiful girl,
and me hopping along behind her.
Oh, oh. I'm so sorry.
It's all right. I'm
getting used to it now.
Maybe we should
put bells on you.
ISAAC: Thank you, Jorge.
Thank you for the help.
- We make a good team.
- Uh-huh.
I'm really enjoying the evening.
Me, too.
Who could ever think of
us to ending up like this?
Do you know ever since I was
a young girl, I fantasized about
meeting someone like you on a
dreamy cruise to faraway places?
Miles from my insurance agent.
You know, you're very
lovely, and that's real.
The accident did not
affect my eyesight.
Thank you.
It's all kind of
wonderful, isn't it?
You're not even
a little bit nervous?
Why should I be?
Because of what I'm thinking.
What are you thinking?
We both seem such menaces.
So right after dinner, in the
interest of passenger safety,
I think we should
go to my cabin.
Yeah.
The passengers would be safer.
What about me?
You could always run.
I could never catch you.
Good evening, Merrill.
- Good evening, Adam.
- Good evening.
Oh, excuse me.
I was telling you
about my little girl.
I think I misled you.
Well, well look at you.
You look lovely.
Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, may
I present my daughter, Vicki.
Good evening, everyone.
Please be seated.
Sorry I'm late.
You think the Captain would
mind having me for a son-in-law?
- Good evening, Captain.
- Evening, Mark.
- Hi.
- Oh, hello there.
You certainly are
full of surprises.
I almost didn't recognize
you when you came in.
You look sensational.
You really think so?
Yeah.
You going to be
on the Lido Deck?
Uh-huh.
Save me a dance?
- Okay.
- Terrific.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Remember, you
still have a curfew.
Oh, Captain, please.
I'll make it up some other time.
Well, okay.
On second thought,
I think I'll turn in early.
Whatever you say, honey.
Just seems a shame to deprive
so many people of seeing you
when you look so ravishing.
Maybe another time.
(somber music playing)
(theme music playing)
ISAAC: All right.
Hey, how you
feeling after dinner?
Oh, okay I guess.
You're surrounded
by that all year round?
- Yeah.
- Um-hmm.
How do you stand it?
Well, you sort of develop
a mental discipline.
Mental discipline, huh?
And it helps to, uh...
That and cold showers.
It's got to be something else
to do on this ship besides...
Well, sure, there's,
uh, bingo and movies.
Movies.
That Will do it.
At least I won't have to
watch any of this anymore.
Hey, what's playing tonight?
An Italian film, La Passionate.
La Passionate.
Yeah, what's that mean?
That means he's in trouble.
Ah, good. Brut and
chilled just right.
You handled that
like you're used to it.
Well, of course. I do
this is a way of life.
I always have champagne
every time I have an accident
and take a cruise.
Ow!
I'm sorry. Let me see.
Oh!
Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Are you all right?
Uh-huh.
Uh, huh... we are menaces.
Maybe we...
maybe we should stay
in this cabin forever.
(romantic music playing)
(moan)
(knock on door)
I'll get it.
Cablegram for Mr. Don Berry...
if he's still alive.
He sure is.
Here, cablegram for you.
You're soaked.
KAREN: Oh, oh, that's all right.
My robe's hanging
behind the bathroom door.
Why don't you change?
I'll do that.
(romantic music playing)
Please, excuse me.
(dramatic music stab)
Oh no!
What's wrong?
What's wrong is that judging
from the report you gave them,
your insurance company says
they're not honoring my claim.
Oh, but you can collect
from your company.
My company was on
60 Minutes last week.
The company president's missing.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to sue you and
your company and if I have to,
I'm going to put you
on the witness stand
and expose the lies
you obviously told them!
- Lies?
- Yes, lies!
I don't know what you
said, but it had to be all lies.
Well, sue all you like!
I was obviously right
about you in the first place.
Good bye!
(theme music playing)
FRANCESCA: No,
Gino, you mustn't.
GINO: My lips hunger for yours.
FRANCESCA : Gino...
GINO: I take you in my arms.
I kiss your cheek.
FRANCESCA: Don't.
GINO: Your nose.
FRANCESCA : Stop.
GINO: Your neck.
FRANCESCA : But don't.
Stop. Please.
GINO: Amore.
FRANCESCA : Oh, don't stop.
Please, don't stop.
FRANCESCA : Gino, Gino.
GINO: Francesca.
FRANCESCA: Gino, no.
(playful music playing)
(theme music playing)
Must be very interesting.
Aw, it's nothing.
Just a woman's article.
Doc, what is it about
women that attracts you most?
Well, I don't know.
Brains, beauty?
Well, I guess what
attracts me most is,
uh, a woman's mind.
That's what you go for?
Oh, absolutely.
Nothing gets to me as
much as a woman's mind.
Uh, it's... it's what's
up here that counts.
What about their figures?
Figures?
Well, I suppose, uh... I
mean, figures are fine,
but I've always been
a brain man myself.
VIVIAN: There you are, Doc.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Oh, uh, Vivian.
Well, I guess
we'd better be off.
Are we going to go
down to your cabin?
To play chess?
She's deep, very deep.
Excuse me.
(theme music playing)
Hi.
Oh, don tied bad.
It's been my experience
that men are basically fickle.
Oh, I wasn't interested
in him anyway.
Oh.
He's coming back.
Careful girls, you don't
want to get too much sun.
Girls?
That's it. That's
all, after last night?
Vicki, is anything wrong?
That was a very fast exit.
It was only like you said.
- Growing pains.
- Oh.
Growing pains?
She doesn't look like she
can afford to grow much more.
Men. You're all alike!
(theme music playing)
Hi, I'm Angela.
Hi.
You getting ready in case
we have to take to the lifeboats.
Therapy, keeps me busy.
Dry my back, would you?
Not with your
breath, with the towel.
You're kind of
cute. Are you taken?
Taken?
You know, married,
engaged, girlfriend aboard?
None of the above.
Um, you missed a spot.
Uh, sure feels good to be out.
Out?
Well, I teach at
this boy's school,
and we have this measles
epidemic and anyway,
I've been in quarantine with
ten-year-olds for six weeks.
And I really like men.
And I've been
locked up a long time.
So, I came aboard to catch
up on some serious socializing.
You know what I mean?
- Six weeks?
- Um-hmm.
Shall we, uh, discuss it
over some orange juice?
It's full of vitamins,
and you never know when
you're going to need them.
No, you never do.
Two orange juice, please.
Good.
So, let's play.
Your court or mine?
(swallows hard)
Court.
Would you mind signing a form?
A what?
Just a little piece of
paper. It's not for me.
It's for my lawyer.
See, he's kind of superstitious.
It'll just take a minute.
I'll be right back.
- Save my place.
- Well, hurry.
(playful music playing)
Angela.
I'm back.
Here's the form.
Angela, it's me.
(theme music playing)
Going ashore?
No. I'll probably
trip over someone
and start an
international incident.
Go on, you can handle that.
Carry a fog horn or something.
No. I don't feel like it.
What's the matter?
You see, my insurance company
refuses to pay Don's claim,
and he's blaming me for it.
Things were going
so well between us.
I really like him, and I
thought it was mutual.
Well, he's probably
forgotten the whole thing.
No. He was pretty angry.
You see, he counted on
that money to pay for this trip.
And now, I can't convince
him it wasn't my fault.
Then go and tell him.
I guess we're just two
ships that collide in the night
and both sink.
So I lost a pretty neat guy.
Well, that's the only thing
I'm not insured against.
(playful music playing)
(knock on door)
Come in.
Oh, hello, Julie.
Hi.
What is it?
Well, I don't quite
know how to put this.
It's about Vicki.
Oh, and Mark Redding.
Oh, you already know.
(chuckles) Hard to miss.
Oh, well, you see, sir,
it's her first big crush,
and I think she
needs some guidance.
She's feeling kind of
rejected and ugly ducklingish.
If you'd like, I'll talk to her.
No, thank you. I'll handle it.
It's a crucial time
for both of us.
I just want Vicki to
know and understand
that I'm here for her
when she needs me.
I always will be.
I just don't know exactly
what I'm going to say.
Oh, well, don't worry sir.
You'll think of something.
- Promise me.
- Um-hmm.
You can start off by telling
her she's got a great dad.
Bye-bye.
(dramatic music playing)
(theme music playing)
GOPHER ON P.A.: Land tours
will be leaving in ten minutes
from the Coral Deck gangway.
We hope you enjoy your day.
Why don't we have that
next round down in my cabin?
I thought you'd never ask.
One little thing.
I have something I'd
like you to sign first.
The check?
No, it's just a
little paper... form.
You want me to sign
something before we...?
No, it's nothing, really.
(playful music playing)
Vivian.
I'll have double bourbon
and a cyanide chaser.
If you order two cyanides,
you get to keep the Donald
Duck glass we serve it in.
What's happening? Want to talk?
Nah.
I made such a jerk of myself
with someone I
really care about.
Hmm. Would you believe
that is the very first time
that this has ever
happened on this ship?
Slammed her head with my chin,
drenched her so she'll probably
get pneumonia, and almost
shot her ear off with a cork.
How can she forgive me for that?
Hmm.
Got a thought.
You ready?
Find her and tell
her you're sorry.
She wouldn't listen to me.
I'd throw myself overboard,
but I'd probably miss the ocean.
(theme music playing)
(knock on door)
Come in.
Hi.
Hi.
I didn't see you in the
shore party, and I got worried.
I decided to clean
my room instead.
Now I'm really worried.
Uh...
Vicki, you know that I
respect your privacy.
But, uh, this is one of
those times when I think
a girl needs a mother.
And since I'm
playing both parts, I...
What I'm trying to say is...
I'd like it if you'd include me
in what's happening
to your life.
I know you love
me, Captain Merrill,
but somebody your age
could never understand.
Well, I wasn't born
this old. (chuckles)
It's Mark Redding.
You probably think I'm silly.
No, I don't.
It reminds me of my
first crush when I was 12.
Twelve?
How old was she?
Oh, very old, almost 24.
Miss Foley, my beautiful,
beautiful sixth grade teacher.
You know, I used
to stay in after school
just so I could clean
her erasers. (chuckles)
Boy, was I smitten.
I bet she never led you on.
Sure, she did.
But not knowingly.
She was just being
nice, like Mark has been.
But I misunderstood because
that's what I wanted to do.
Oh.
I think I understand.
Naturally, she broke my heart.
She eloped with
the football coach,
a real zombie.
But I had the last
laugh. I showed her.
- How?
- I stopped cleaning her erasers.
Vicki, the most important
thing is you keep liking yourself,
just the way you are right now.
Okay?
Okay.
Don't forget, the
big dance tonight.
I expect to see you there.
But what about my curfew?
I'm supposed to
be in bed by ten.
Well, we can
forget that tonight.
Who could ever sleep
in such a clean room?
(theme music playing)
(lounge music playing)
It's really kind of sad, Gopher.
He's crazy about Karen, but
he won't do anything about it.
We ought to help him.
Well, I don't know
about that, man.
When those two get together,
the free world is in danger.
Yeah, but if they don t
latch on to each other,
they're going to end
up finding someone else,
which means two
unsuspecting strangers
are going to end up
in a demolition derby.
Right. Okay. I'll tell you what.
I'll get Karen.
What if he leaves?
He won't. He kind
of likes it here.
Okay.
Uh, is there anything
else I can get you?
Oh, no thanks. I'm
going to finish this and go.
Go?
You can't.
Um, the next drink
is on the house.
How come?
Captain's orders.
See, we have our special, uh,
happy hour for, uh, hobblers.
Not for me.
I'll be leaving.
Okay.
(Isaac humming)
(disco music playing)
JULIE: Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have a
very special treat.
May I introduce Mark Redding.
(applause)
(fanfare music playing)
(pop music playing)
♪ When I see you
Walking down the street ♪
♪ I remember ♪
♪ Everything about
you Oh, so sweet ♪
♪ So warm and tender ♪
♪ Ooh, I can't stop lovin' you ♪
♪ It's all I want to do ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ When I see the
sunlight In your hair ♪
♪ The moonlight in your eyes ♪
♪ Suddenly I know how
Much you really care ♪
♪ I realize ♪
♪ Ooh, I can't stop lovin' you ♪
♪ It's all I want to do ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ Every time I see
you I'm in love again ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ I know I am such a lucky man ♪
(saxophone solo)
♪ Ooh, I can't stop lovin' you ♪
♪ It's all I want to do ♪
♪ Every time I see you ♪
♪ Every time ♪
(audience cheering)
Wait, wait, please!
I can explain!
(funky music playing)
Excuse me, uh, are
you in to dancing?
There's no point in it.
You're a pretty girl.
We dance. I get
interested in you.
We go outside in the
moonlight, I'd get more interested.
Then you'd sign this
form and poof, you split.
Not necessarily.
There's no point...
You mean you would sign it?
Why not, if everything
else is okay?
Why not?
Sure.
Oh, it's so noisy.
Want to skip the dance and
go right onto the moonlight?
Oh, sounds promising.
Yes.
Well, thank you.
(funky music playing)
Looks like the Captain is
bending the curfew rules
just a wee bit.
Bending? I think they're
completely shattered.
Captain, you're the Love
Boat's answer to John Travolta.
Why, thank you Adam. Thank you.
Hey, Vicki.
Oh, Mark, a marvelous
show. I enjoyed it.
Thank you very much.
Well, Vicki, you want to
show me some new steps?
I'm sorry, but I already
promised the next dance to Doc.
You did?
She did. She sure did.
Well, uh, maybe later, huh?
Well, good for
her. She got even.
There's no reason for
her not to dance with Mark.
He didn't deliberately
try to hurt her.
If she felt stronger
about herself,
there'd be no need
for this getting even.
Well, Captain, your
daughter, like the rest of us,
is only human.
And sometimes
getting over someone,
it's a tiny bit easier
when you get even a little.
(theme music playing)
Isaac, have you
seen my crutches?
Um, did you come in with them?
How do you think
I got here, by taxi?
They were right here.
That's the third pair today.
Can you describe 'em.
You know, I'd better go
and report these stolen.
Hey, what's going on?
Was he badly hurt?
Well, you know how clumsy he is.
See, he tripped
and he hit his head
and he keeps calling
your name, Karen, Karen.
- Karen!
- See, he said it again.
Are you all right?
Well, he's a fast healer.
What's this all about?
Hmm, he told me you'd
been in an accident.
It was part of my job.
I'm the Love Boat liar.
ISAAC: But it's the truth.
Because of all the accidents
you two have been in,
this has been the worst kind
because he's been hurt here.
I really don't think, uh...
So you two just better get
your act together, you know?
Yeah. You're not getting
your crutches back until you do.
I'm sorry about last night.
Let's never mention
the accident again.
What accident?
What's wrong?
(gulps)
I think I swallowed
your earring.
(theme music playing)
(romantic music playing)
Oh boy, I wish I
met you the first day.
Well, we'll have plenty
of time to make up for it.
Getting kind of late.
I know.
I should get you
back to your cabin.
Oh, I'd rather stay
here if you don't mind.
You sure you don't
mind about the paper?
No.
Oh, it's gone. I
must have... left it.
It'll just... take me...
The hell with my lawyer.
(dramatic music playing)
(up-tempo music playing)
(theme music playing)
Ah.
We just wanted to thank you.
My pleasure.
You're all very special
people. Thank you.
We'll be coming back.
Well, in that case, I'll
double our insurance.
- So long.
- So long.
- Bye.
- So long.
- Oh, goodbye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Thanks for everything.
Yes. Wonderful.
So long.
- Well, what's your prediction?
- Oh, definite marriage.
Think they'll have children?
Whether they want to or not.
We'll go right from here to
my place in Santa Barbara,
spend a week there.
- A week?
- Or longer.
No more papers to
sign. None of that.
I think is the beginning
of something really solid.
- Uh...
- Anything wrong?
Yeah. I don't know
how to ask you this,
but I'll have to ask
for your signature.
My signature?
It's not me. It's
my silly attorney.
See, my last romance
cost me a fortune.
Vivian, where have you
been the last two days?
Oh, playing chess.
- Bye.
- Good bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Good bye.
- Bye, Vicki.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Well, there goes the
first man in my life.
Oh, you'll get another one.
I've already got one.
You have?
(theme music playing)
(theme music playing)