The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 3, Episode 17 - April's Love/Happy Ending/We Three - full transcript
April Lopez comes back on board, this time with her manager and fiancé, a man twice her age; a bickering couple struggle to finish their screenplay; a young woman discovers a secret about her father as well as her mother.
(theme music playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run
♪ The Love Boat
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪
(theme music playing)
You're on Aloha Deck, cabin 117.
Dinner seating's
at 6:30 and 8:30.
But if you come to
both, or we'll catch you.
Hey, guys, is April here yet?
Not yet. Do you suppose
her English has improved any?
About as much as
your Spanish has.
Guess who?
And no fair peek-a-booing.
Don't help him, Julie.
Oh, this is too
hard. Give me a hint.
Okay... Cunhi, sushi...
Oh! Queen Elizabeth!
No. But you're getting warm.
- It's me, April.
- Oh, hey!
It's like hugging a barber pole.
Oh, I am so much glad to
see all of you. Thank you.
We're glad to see you
we've been expecting you.
- April!
- Captain! (speaking Spanish)
- We've missed you.
- Oh, Captain.
This is my daughter, Vicki.
My goodness any Vicki of
yours, Captain, is a Vicki of mine.
I've heard a lot about you.
It better be good.
See you at my table
for dinner tonight.
I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
- Bye, bye.
- Bye.
Well, so April, tell us what's
been going on? How are you?
How is she? Well, why don't we
let Honest Tex answer that one?
The little lady
is fine, just fine.
And speaking as Honest Tex,
who's sold a few
used cars in his time,
I want to tell you that
she's worth every red cent
of the Blue Book value,
plus about a million bucks
for all the added accessories.
My good friends;
this is Honest Tex.
Hey, howdy do, friends.
Well, I finally get
to meet everybody.
Nice to meet you ma'am.
Yes, yes. April's here told
me how helpful you all been
getting her singing
career started.
Oh, April, how is
your singing career?
- Well...
- Oh, it's just fine. Just fine.
It's first class, isn't it hon?
Excuse me, Mr. Honest Tex,
but we've been very excitedly
waiting for April
to come aboard.
Would it be possible to hear
a few words from her, directly?
Well, why not, partner?
Here little hon, why don't
you talk to these nice folks
directly from yourself.
Okay, directly from myself.
I met Honest Tex three
weeks ago, and guess what?
He is now my finance,
and I'm his fiancé.
Your fiancé?
You're engaged?
After knowing him
only three weeks?
No, we get engaged
the first night.
TEX: I always wanted a gal
just like the gal that
married dear ol' dad.
I'm speaking of Dad's
fifth wife, of course.
C'mon, hon. Let's go check
out the bunkhouse now.
Come along, child. Yes, indeed.
- Bye, I'll see you tonight.
- Bye. Good night.
Even though that cowboy
was wearing a white hat,
I'm not all that sure
he's a good guy.
(theme music playing)
Mrs. Rogers you
and your daughter
are on the Promenade
Deck, cabin 340
and it's right up those
stairs and to the left.
Thank you.
Oh, I see you're from Vancouver.
That's one of
my favorite cities.
Are you natives?
Well, I guess I qualify.
We moved there when I was one.
And she's getting
married there in two weeks.
How nice.
I wish you all the
happiness in the world.
Well, mom thought this cruise
would give her time to explain
the facts of life to me.
She's the greatest, really.
Ah, maybe we
better find our cabin.
Enjoy your cruise.
Bye.
(romantic music playing)
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
Do you have a Mrs. Rogers
sailing with you, Martha Rogers?
Yes, with her daughter
Laura, they just boarded.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
(dramatic music)
I know our marriage
got too heavy for you,
but did the typewriter
get too heavy too?
Look, Betty, in all the years
that we've been married
and all the years we've
been writing together
I never carried the typewriter.
And if I didn't carry the
typewriter when I loved you,
why should I carry it
now that I hate you?
I'm just kidding,
I don't hate you.
How do you feel about me?
Other than wanting to
divorce me, of course?
There you go with that
fuzzy dialogue again.
I don't want to divorce you,
we want to divorce each other.
Well, when we finish writing
this movie script together
you won't have to
see me anymore.
Mr. and Mrs. William
Robinson. For the moment.
Ah... Cabin 124.
And Cabin 126.
Adjoining.
124 and 126?
Don't you have adjoining cabins
not quite so close together?
Don't try to figure it
out, she's not too bright.
That's why she's
carrying the typewriter.
Remember, if we split
up, you carry the clipboard.
(ship horn blowing)
(theme music playing)
Hi, guvs, what are you doing?
Well, we've decided to talk
to April about the foolishness
of getting engaged to
somebody she doesn't even know.
Especially a jerk
like Honest Tex.
Come on, she's alone.
But, let's not start to talk
about Honest Tex right away.
Ok? That'd be too obvious.
Oh, right. Uh... Okay, first...
we'll ask her to sing a song
in the show tomorrow night.
I have an idea.
Maybe if I tell her
that if she'll sing a song
I'll play my flute.
No, we're trying to convince
her, not discourage her.
- Hola, April.
- Hola.
- Hello.
- Hi.
You know something, I was
wondering where all of you were.
But now you are here so I can
stop wondering where you were.
Uh, April, we were wondering
if maybe you'd like to
sing a song for our
show tomorrow night.
Sure, sure. I'd love to sing
a song for all you bodys.
For my friends.
For my family.
Ah, April, that's what we
wanted to talk to you about.
You know some times a husband
is considered part of the family.
No kidding.
April, you see, what
Gopher's trying to say, is...
Hey! Here you are, hon. Yeah.
- A little toddy for the body.
- Thank you.
Say, this is nice canoe
you got here, friends.
Yes, a beauty. You ever decide
to go in the used ship business,
You let me know, I pay
top dollar on a trade-in.
And if you got a good heater
and radio, I pay extra cash.
He's so full of humor.
Honest Tex, honey, my
friends want me to sing a song
in the show tomorrow night.
Oh, I'm sorry that'd
be impossible, Hon.
See, singin' for free
that's a bad precedent.
No, no, you got to
put up the 'do-re-mee'
if you want to hear the 'fa, so,
la, do. You see what I mean?
Now, listen, Tex.
We realize you're
April's fiancé, but...
No, no, you see,
I'm her manager.
Yeah, a difference. You
see, yes, I'm her manager.
I got a ten-year contract
with that young lady.
- Ten Years?
- Yes, ten years!
April, why did you sign
a ten-year contract?
Well, I was going to
sign a one-year contract
but then Honest
Tex explained to me
that if I signed a ten-year
contract it would save me
signing my name every
year for nine years.
What a genius.
I didn't want her to
get writer's cramp
on wedding ring hand,
you see what I mean.
Come along, darlin', I don't
want you to be in the sun long,
yes, indeedy that'll
scramble your...
oh, my goodness it
warm out here ain't it?
- Bye.
- Bye.
That's a nice hat,
Tex. You got it in black?
Okay, then what?
So, then, when the boss asks
the guy if he's willing to risk
losing his job for the sake
of the girl, he says, "maybe".
"Perhaps".
I didn't say "perhaps".
I said "maybe".
Well, "perhaps" is better.
Maybe you're right.
Perhaps you're right.
Now, shall we get
on with the script?
Maybe.
Alright. You know the scene
where we couldn't figure out
how the guy could pick
up the girl in the bar?
Well, I think I've
got it figured out.
The guy goes into the
bar, he's all by himself.
Now, he sits down at the bar.
Now a couple of stools
away is sitting the girl.
The guy sees her. There's
a bowl of peanuts on the bar.
In front of the guy.
He reaches into the bowl of
peanuts takes out a peanut,
throws it in the air,
catches it in his mouth
to attract her attention.
Well, what do you think?
It's dumb.
Catching peanuts in his mouth.
Even if she did notice him,
she'd just think he was dumb.
Really?
Really.
Come on.
Where?
We're going to the bar.
I'm gonna show
you how dumb it is.
Well, maybe it isn't
dumb, it's just stupid.
(theme music playing)
Hello, Martha.
Where did you come from?
That's hardly the
way to greet a man
you haven't seen
in twenty years.
May I?
Thank you.
I must say you look wonderful.
So does Laura...
How's Burt?
Burt and I were divorced
when Laura was five.
Tom, I don't want any trouble.
You promised me
never to contact.
Martha, I've kept my promise
for more than twenty years.
This meeting was pure chance.
I've raised her alone, Tom.
She's all I've got.
She's my life.
But she's my daughter.
- Hi.
- Hello.
This is Mr. Thornton,
an old friend of mine.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
- Excuse me, um, sit down.
- Thank you.
You know, I was a neighbor of
your mother's twenty years ago.
LAURA: You were?
Are you alone?
Yes.
Well, won't you
join us for dinner?
I'm sure my mom would love it.
Oh, yes. Please do.
I'd love to.
Thank you.
Good.
(reflective music)
Wait a minute.
This looks like a good one.
Now, if I charm her
with the old peanut trick,
it goes into the script. Agreed?
Ag reed.
(lounge music)
Terrific.
(theme music)
(Italian music)
So, what does your
husband-to-be do?
He's a doctor, an obstetrician.
Oh, wonderful.
There's nothing more
beautiful than the birth of a child.
Unless, of course, it happens
in the middle of the night.
You know, there's something
I don't understand about you.
I always thought that
stockbrokers were...
frenzied, you know? You
seem like the calm type.
Well, that's because I'm
dining with two lovely ladies.
You should me with
the bulls and the bears.
I bet.
Oh, is it nine yet?
9:05.
I told Jim I'd call him
at nine. I'll be right back.
Send my love.
Okay.
It's amazing.
Here I am dining
with my own daughter,
almost a total stranger to me.
Yet, I love her as if I'd
known her all her life.
Stop torturing yourself, Tom.
And stop torturing me.
I don't mean to.
It's just I feel she
has a right to know,
and I have a right to tell her.
No, you don't.
You gave up that right
when you asked Burt
and me to adopt Laura.
I was 21 when Laura was born.
No job, no money.
And then when Claire
died in childbirth, I just...
fell apart, that's
all. I went to pieces.
I remember. It was a sad time.
I tried raising Laura
by myself. I couldn't.
It'd be hard for a single
parent and especially a father.
All I wanted to do was
what was best for her.
And you did.
Don't spoil it now.
Don't take the
chance of hurting her.
She's so happy. You
can see that, can't you?
Oh, yes. You both
did a wonderful job.
She's happy, secure.
She really knows who she is.
Not yet she doesn't.
Okay, Betty, I'll
admit I was wrong
about the old peanut
in the mouth trick,
but I am not wrong about this.
I'm telling you
that if we write a hand
holding scene into this script,
they're going to laugh us
right out of the business.
Will you just give it a chance?
Now, give me your hand.
I'm telling you, couples
don't hold hands anymore!
We don't, but couples do!
I'm telling you it won't work!
It will work!
Give me your stupid hand!
Well, here's to April, who
started as a stowaway,
and ended up stealing
our hearts away.
- Hey, to April.
- To April. April.
If I steal your heart, you
don't have to steal mine.
I give it to you.
Well, now, I sure hate to be
the one to cut short a good party,
but you come along, hon.
We got to send a telegram to
my friend over there in Las Vegas.
See, we're going to
make a big star out of April,
have her name up in lights
taller than she is herself.
Oh?
Yeah, well, the entertainment
director over at Brutus Palace
is a pal of mine, you see.
I guess you know him
personally, of course.
Well, I sure enough do. I
sold him a used car once.
You know, it's a funny thing.
I sent him a telegram
a few days ago,
and ain't never got no answer.
Well, maybe he was on his
way to answer the telegram,
and the car you
sold him broke down.
A cute little rascal, aint he?
Yeah, well. Come on. We
got to make you a big star.
Don't worry, I will
still talk with all of you
when I am a big
star. I love you.
What are we going
to do about him?
I don't know, you little rascal.
Well, I think one of us is just
going to have to take her aside
and tell her.
Tell her what exactly?
That she wound up
with a phony fiancé,
and even a phonier manager.
You mean, one of
us has to tell her.
Oh, no. No way!
I'm not going to be
the patsy in this one!
No, and that's final!
Period, exclamation point!
Question mark?
(theme music)
(indistinct dialogue)
Oh, thanks, that was nice.
Would you care for a refill?
Uh, yes, thank you.
How about you?
- No. No thank you.
- Sure?
Mom, you okay?
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I was just planning
your wedding in my head.
Oh, don't be silly.
Don't worry about
that. It's going to be fine.
Mr. Thornton is such a nice man.
Yes, he is.
What were you two talking
about when you were dancing?
Oh, married life mostly.
He was advising me
in a fatherly sort of way.
I see.
I think he likes you, though.
Really.
If you don't mind my saying so,
I think you're being
a little cool to him.
How come?
Here we are.
Sure you wouldn't want another?
Uh, no.
I may just have one
more dance left in me.
Well, I'd love to...
Uh, sweetheart, you've
been on the go for weeks.
Why don't you get some sleep?
I think it would
be better for you.
Oh, come on, Martha.
It's not that late.
Uh, no actually, Mr. Thornton,
I think my mom's right.
I really could use the sleep.
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Mr. Thornton.
I'll see you tomorrow.
You bet.
(piano lounge music)
- Hi, Isaac.
- Hi.
Would you give me
a double anything?
I think I'm going to need it
before I tackle a
typewriter again.
Still having trouble
with the script?
Not really.
One more big scene,
and it's finished.
Great.
Not great.
I'm not sure I want
to finish the script.
But I thought that's why you
and your wife came on the cruise.
We did.
But when the script is
finished, so is the marriage.
And you don't want
to finish the marriage.
Well, I thought I did,
but well, now I'm not sure.
You've agreed to stay together
until you finish
the script, right?
Uh-huh.
Well, don't finish the script.
Just keep shoveling
rotten ideas at her,
and you'll never
get it finished.
Isaac, you're a genius.
That's fantastic.
Rotten ideas.
I got a million of those.
Hey, (speaking Spanish)
Yeah, of course. I agree.
I... I... I was wondering
if Gopher and I could, uh,
talk to you alone.
How going to be alone when
you are both going to be there?
And if you both are
going to be there.
Why can't I be there?
Well, it's, uh, man talk.
Yeah, it's man talk.
Let the men talk, April.
Come on. Let's go for a stroll.
What is a stroll?
If it's fattening,
I don't want any.
Bye.
Yeah, well, gentlemen,
what's the man talk here, huh?
Uh, you tell him, Doc.
No, no. That's
okay. You tell him.
Yeah, don't be shy.
Speak up boys, speak up.
Okay, well, we
were wondering, uh,
say, where did you get that
really marvelous looking tuxedo?
He's putting me on.
No, is it a copy or an original?
Who's your clothier?
Well, now, if this is man talk,
maybe we'd better
go rejoin the ladies.
Oh, no, no. We haven't
talked about your boots yet.
So you wear garters
with the boots?
Tell us about your home.
April, I want to talk to
you about Honest Tex.
Oh, he was just here.
Why didn't you talk
to him about him?
Well, um...
Julie, isn't he
something special?
Honest Tex was the assistant
manager of a used car lot.
He gave it up all to manage me.
But April, to be a
performer's manager,
a person has to have a
certain amount of experience.
Honest Tex has
a lot of experience
as a performer manager.
He managed me for
the whole week now.
Um, April, Honest Tex
just doesn't seem to have
the qualifications to
manage your career.
Besides that, he may be Tex,
but I don't know
about the honest part.
Julie, Honest Tex is very honest
or people would not
call him Honest Tex.
If he wasn't honest, people
will call him Dishonest Tex.
But April, he calls
himself Honest Tex.
No, Julie.
He's not the only one who
call himself Honest Tex.
I also call him Honest Tex.
You don't call him Honest Tex,
then you are no
friend of mine, Julie.
(knock on door)
Come in.
I've got it! I finally
got the ending!
- Are you ready?
- Ready.
Okay, sit down.
I am sitting down.
Uh, yes you are sitting down.
Well, I mean, when someone
gets an extraordinary idea
like I have, they
really don't know
whether a person is
standing up or sitting down.
I mean, for example, when
Alexander Graham Bell
invented the telephone,
I'm sure that he did not know
whether Mrs.
Alexander Graham Bell
was standing up or sitting down.
Well, probably sitting down.
Later on, she'll be getting
up a lot to answer the phone,
but she didn't know that then.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
Are you ready for the ending?
The ending of all time.
Okay.
What is it?
Yeah, what is it? Yes. Well...
We do a complete switch
on everything that
we've been doing.
Everything that
we've been thinking.
Everything that
we've been feeling.
You see, what we're dealing with
here is a light romantic comedy,
and the audience expects
the typical romantic ending.
But that's where
we fool the audience.
We do not give them a
typical romantic ending.
We give them a tragic ending.
As the two lovers
wander off into the night
never to see each other again
as they go their separate ways,
their story expresses the
futility of the human condition
as we know it today in society.
Complex and mysterious.
The audience will not laugh.
The audience will not cry.
The audience will not
even be entertained.
The audience will
just sit there and stare.
Well, what do you think?
I like it.
You do? You really like it?
I love it!
We've got our ending.
(music)
I have an alternate ending.
Surely you must see
my side of this, Martha.
That's my daughter.
It is wrong to tell her.
Utterly wrong.
Why?
She knows she's
adopted, doesn't she?
Well, doesn't she?
Of course.
Well then, what's the problem?
I haven't been
tracking you down.
I haven't been
following you for years.
Something I haven't told you.
Laura knows she's adopted.
But when she was
growing up, I told her that...
well, I felt it was
for her own good.
What?
I told her that I adopted
her from a hospital.
That I didn't know
her parents' name
and that both of them were dead.
(theme music)
(Julie playing flute)
Julie.
Julie.
Julie, will you put that
flute down a minute
so we can talk to you?
We have nothing to talk about.
You all made me the goat
who had to talk to April
about her boyfriend.
Well, now she hates
me, and I hate everybody!
Hate, hate, hate!
(knock on door)
You know, up to now I always
thought of you as just one of
Miss April's best
friends, but you know,
I was taking my morning
walk and exercises out there,
and I heard that
beautiful flute music.
And I said to myself, "Tex,
you are listening to an artist."
Me?
Yes, I mean, you just... well,
you just play like an angel.
Well, that knocks the
honest out of his name.
Let the man talk.
I don't have time to talk
about it right now, little lady.
If you're interested in a
show business career,
I'd be most interested in
being your personal manager.
What?
TEX: Yes, yes. We'll talk
about the contract later.
I got to go find
Miss April right now.
She seems a little upset about
something happened last evening,
but she wouldn't
tell me what it was.
You see, uh, she didn't happen
to mention it to you, did she?
Uh, no. I haven't
seen her today.
Yeah, I'll just go talk to Miss
April 'cause I always seem to be
able to make her feel a
little better when I talk to her.
Now, you just keep
practicing on that flute.
You remember what
happened to Isaac Stern.
Isaac Stern plays the violin.
But I know that, but you
see, that's because he didn't
practice on the flute enough.
Yeah, you just stay right
here and practice, okay?
- Hmm!
- That phony.
Wait till April finds out
he's trying to sign up
a no talent flute player.
Goodbye, gentlemen.
(music)
C sharp.
(theme music)
Hey, I think you're the one
that should have gone
to bed early last night.
You look tired.
Oh, well, I... I had a very
strange dream last night.
Yeah?
I, uh, I dreamed that
your natural father came
and tried to take
you away from me.
Oh, Mom.
Hey, I think Freud would say
that is a very normal reaction
for any mother whose
daughter is about to be married.
You just substituted my
father for the husband role.
I guess you're right.
Hey, and honest, Mom,
you're not losing me.
We're only going to
live three blocks away.
I'm sure you're going
to be very happy.
You know, I haven't wondered
about my natural parents much
since you told me they died.
Being adopted hasn't always
been easy for you, has it?
(somber music)
Well, I knew a girl who spent
years trying to track down
her natural parents.
When she found them,
it was very disillusioning.
Can be pretty traumatic.
I'm sure.
Besides, even if my natural
parents were still alive,
I'm not even sure
I'd want to know.
I mean, even if they were
nice and everything, I...
I'd be afraid it
would change my life.
My life is just
perfect the way it is.
Mine too.
(swelling music)
Of course, sometimes
I wonder, you know,
what they might look like or
what my name was.
Stuff like that.
Oh.
(theme music)
(knock on door)
I can't find the script.
Did you take it last night?
No, I left it with you.
Are you sure?
Of course, I'm sure.
No, you took it. I'm
positive you took it.
If you're so positive I took the
script, then why did you ask me
if I was sure I
left it with you?
Oh, I don't know.
All I know is the
script is gone.
Does that mean we're going
to have to start all over again?
Oh, no. We've got to find it.
I couldn't go
through all that again.
It would take ages.
Well, maybe somebody
came in. How about a steward?
The maid.
The maid came in when
I was taking a shower.
Of course.
Of course, the maid.
Why didn't I think of that?
The maid came in
and took the script
because she's going into
motion picture production.
Well, maybe the
script fell on the floor,
and the maid took it
thinking it was rubbish.
When we wrote it, I
knew it was rubbish,
but I didn't expect an
inexperienced maid to know it.
I'm going to the rubbish room.
LAURA: Oh, boy.
I'm glad I wasn't
playing you for money.
You're great at shuffleboard.
Oh, thanks.
You're lucky to have a mom
and dad to take you on this cruise.
Oh, I'm always here.
Captain Stubing's my father.
He is? How nice.
My mom died last year.
Oh, I'm sorry.
My mom and dad died too.
A long time ago.
I'm real lucky, though.
This wonderful lady adopted
me when I was just a teeny baby.
She's the best mom in the world.
She looks like she's very nice.
Vicki, this is my
mother, Mrs. Rogers.
Hello, Vicki.
And this is our
friend, Mr. Thornton.
- Hi.
- How do you do, Miss Stubing.
- Won't you join us?
- Oh, thank you.
Well, my real
name isn't Stubing.
- Oh?
- It's sort of confusing.
But after my mom
and my other dad died,
I found out that my real
father was Captain Stubing.
Oh, that must have been
quite a surprise for you.
It was.
At first when I found
out that Captain Merrill,
that's what I call him,
was my real father, I was
sort of scared and mixed up.
But the minute I met him,
I knew that I loved him,
and I'd be the happiest
girl in the world.
That's just the way
he makes me feel.
How great to have a dad
who loves you so much.
I bet having you makes
him feel pretty happy, too.
I think it does.
You want to meet
him? He's super.
Sure.
I'll bet you'll love him too.
- But I can't let you borrow him.
- Okay.
- Excuse us. See you later.
- Sure.
Meeting her real father
certainly hasn't hurt Vicki.
(lounge music)
My Honest Tex is going to
manage Julie and her flute?
No way, because I will kill him!
April, I think
you're overreacting.
Actually, I didn't
hear him say it myself.
I'm just telling
you what I heard.
Who told you that?
- Doc.
- Gopher.
Julie.
Julie.
Julie, Julie, Julie.
(speaking foreign language)
No wonder she was saying to me
to a stay away from Honest
Tex so she can be around him.
When the mice is away,
the rat fink will play.
The cat will play.
I don't know about the cat.
But I know two rats
play when I sleep.
One rat plays the flute, and
the other rat wears a cowboy hat.
Well, there y'all are.
Ah, hi, huh.
(emphatic music)
Why'd you do that, hon?
Because orange
juice is good for you.
Where you going, hon?
(speaking Spanish)
(speaking Spanish)
(theme music)
I'm telling you
it's not in here.
Is this the only day
you clean this ship?
Betty, this is a
total waste of time.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay. I'm
beginning to like it.
We're never going to
find that script in here.
Now, let's see. If I were a
script, where would I go?
Oh, Bill, look at this.
You remember the time you gave
me a heart-shaped box of candy?
Oh, yes, of course.
You never gave me a
heart-shaped box of candy in your life.
Yes. That's what I said.
I never gave you a
heart-shaped box of candy.
Well, why didn't you?
Eh, Why didn't I?
Yes. Well, it wasn't because
I didn't love you enough.
It was because I
loved you too much.
I didn't want to insult
your intelligence
by giving you
something like this.
Besides, we both know that
a heart isn't shaped like this.
A heart is shaped like a fist,
and I love you too much to give
you a fist-shaped box of candy.
(romantic music)
You want to go back to the
cabin and look for the script?
Oh, I've already looked
everywhere in the cabin.
It's not there.
Did you look in the bed?
- In the bed?
- Uh-huh.
Under the blankets.
Under the blankets?
Oh, no. That's the one
place I forgot to look.
(romantic music)
Well, I certainly sympathize
with you, Mrs. Rogers.
You have a monumental
decision to make.
I'm sorry to have
imposed on you, captain,
but when I heard Vicki
telling my daughter that...
Yes, there are
similarities in their lives.
I... I only want
what's best for Laura.
Well, that's all I
wanted for Vicki.
Fortunately, everything
turned out fine.
Obviously, I...
I can't make the
decision for you.
All I can do is tell you
to do what you feel.
But, I'm frightened.
So was I.
But I found that all of us,
adults and children alike,
have this incredible
inner strength,
a resiliency to help
us bounce back.
How we bounce back
depends on the love and support
of those around us.
Oh, Vicki introduced me
to Laura this afternoon.
She's a lovely girl.
Thank you.
Just remember.
If you do decide to tell
her, there may be tears,
but those tears could lead
to a greater joy for all of you.
Thank you.
I hope I've been of some help.
Oh, you have. You really have.
(melancholic music)
TOM: Martha?
You all right?
Tell her tonight.
(theme music)
Well, we still haven't
found the script yet.
I was almost sure it would
be under the blankets.
Well, we may not have found it,
but it was sure
fun looking for it.
You know, it was almost as
much fun looking for the script
as it was writing it.
Oh.
(romantic music)
(dance music)
(applause)
So really, you don't have to
perform if you don't want to.
No.
I made my friends a promise.
It's not nice to
broke a promise.
The shoe must go on.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a very special
friend sailing with us this cruise.
And I'm very happy to say
she's going to perform for us.
Believe me, you're in
for a wonderful treat.
So let's welcome our
good friend, April Lopez.
(applause)
(Spanish guitar)
Captain.
Yes?
Uh, would you see that
Miss April gets this, please?
Certainly.
You tell her I'm sorry things
didn't work out just right.
(Spanish guitar continues)
(applause)
Ladies and gentlemen, I
have some good news for you
and for this lovely and
talented young lady.
I want to read this.
Dear Honest Tex, loved
April's record you sent me.
Knowing you're a
man of your word,
I'm sure she looks
as good as you say.
Consider this
telegram a contract
for a two-week engagement
Pudd Crane, Brutus'
Palace Las Vegas!
(April screams) (crowd cheering)
Okay, April.
Let's see what
Las Vegas is in for.
Musical Let's do it!
Wow!
(music "La Bamba")
APRIL: All right.
(April trills tongue)
Wow!
Everybody help me.
♪ Bamba La bamba,
Bamba La bamba ♪
(singing in Spanish)
Uh-huh.
Cuchi-cuchi, cuchi-cuchi,
cuchi-cuchi, cuchi-cuchi.
(singing in Spanish)
La bamba!
(applause)
(theme music)
Mom.
Mom, guess what
Mr. Thornton just told me?
He said if he ever
had a daughter,
he'd want her to
be exactly like me.
What a beautiful thing to say.
Um, well why don't you two
take a stroll in the moonlight?
Good night.
Thank you.
What more could a man ask
then to see his daughter
completely happy?
I just realized to tell
her would be selfish.
I would like to ask
a favor, though.
Yes?
I'd like to come visit
from time to time.
Oh, I would like that very much.
(romantic music)
It's nice of you
to invite me back.
Nice of you to accept.
Now, Bill, what
about the script?
Hmm? Script? What script?
Well, it's too bad
that we lost it.
I mean, I suppose the only
thing we can do is start writing
the whole thing over again.
Yeah. And it will take months.
Perhaps it would make the
work seem a little less dreary
if we went up to
that country house
where we first started
writing together,
you know, and work
together up there?
Oh, yeah.
We had some great
times up there, remember?
Ah, yes. I do remember.
What's that?
Hmm? That? Oh,
that's just the script.
Uh, the script.
You dog!
You had the script all the time?
How deceitful can a person be?
You really take the cake!
Now, wait a minute, Betty.
I can explain anything.
I mean, everything.
Uh, look, Betty.
Try and understand why I did it.
I did it because I wanted us to
spend some more time together
because I love you.
You love me?
More than ever.
I love you, too.
That's why I didn't tell you
that I made a carbon copy.
You made a carbon
copy of the script?
You rat.
You devil.
You witch.
(bright music)
(theme music)
Tex?
Oh, hi there, little lady.
I'm so sorry I got
myself mad at you.
Oh, that's all
right, little lady.
Yes.
I was going crazy with jealous
because the group told me
you told Julie that you
gonna make her a bigger star.
No, no, no. I just
told her that because
you told me how nice
they'd all been to you.
I was trying to be
nice so you see...
besides she does play
the flute pretty good.
Not as good as a
shepherd, but pretty good.
But you're my only star.
Okay?
Tex, do you really think
I'm gonna be good
enough for Las Vegas?
Las Vegas?
My little honey, you're good
enough for the whole wide world.
You'll make the man
on the moon smile.
You know, it would have been
the proudest day of my whole life
if I could have taken
you back to my hometown
and introduce you as my bride.
Mrs. Honest Tex. Hmm.
What a beautiful name.
Wait a minute now.
Did you mean that...?
Hey, I will be the happiest
man in the whole wide world!
Ah!
Now, wait a
minute, little honey.
I got to tell you the truth.
Old Honest Tex did tell
you one little teeny weeny lie.
See, my hometown is New Jersey.
Mrs. Honest New Jersey.
I'm so lucky!
Hey!
(theme music)
Hey, I just want to say goodbye
and wish you good
luck on your movie script.
Thank you.
Thank you, Isaac.
Did you find another
ending for the script?
No, but we found another
beginning for our marriage.
Yes.
Now for one thing I get
to carry the typewriter.
- Bye.
- Bye.
LAURA: Isn't that odd?
Oh, Mr. Thornton it's so
wonderful to have met you.
I feel like I've made
a friend for life.
You have.
- Goodbye, Laura.
- Good bye.
- Goodbye, Tom.
- Bye-bye.
Please let me
hear from you soon.
Oh, that's a promise.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
I hope you don't
think I'm crazy,
but would you come
to my wedding?
I'd love to.
Good.
Honest Tex, I hope
you'll accept our apologies
for doubting your
honesty even for a minute.
It's just that we're
very protective of April.
Oh, that's all right. I
understand, Captain.
Of course, there's some days
I don't even believe me myself.
Oh, he understands. I
explain to him everything.
I told him (speaking Spanish)
Baby, what does that mean, hon?
I don't know. I say it so fast
I couldn't understand myself.
(upbeat music)
(theme music)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run
♪ The Love Boat
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪
(theme music playing)
You're on Aloha Deck, cabin 117.
Dinner seating's
at 6:30 and 8:30.
But if you come to
both, or we'll catch you.
Hey, guys, is April here yet?
Not yet. Do you suppose
her English has improved any?
About as much as
your Spanish has.
Guess who?
And no fair peek-a-booing.
Don't help him, Julie.
Oh, this is too
hard. Give me a hint.
Okay... Cunhi, sushi...
Oh! Queen Elizabeth!
No. But you're getting warm.
- It's me, April.
- Oh, hey!
It's like hugging a barber pole.
Oh, I am so much glad to
see all of you. Thank you.
We're glad to see you
we've been expecting you.
- April!
- Captain! (speaking Spanish)
- We've missed you.
- Oh, Captain.
This is my daughter, Vicki.
My goodness any Vicki of
yours, Captain, is a Vicki of mine.
I've heard a lot about you.
It better be good.
See you at my table
for dinner tonight.
I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
- Bye, bye.
- Bye.
Well, so April, tell us what's
been going on? How are you?
How is she? Well, why don't we
let Honest Tex answer that one?
The little lady
is fine, just fine.
And speaking as Honest Tex,
who's sold a few
used cars in his time,
I want to tell you that
she's worth every red cent
of the Blue Book value,
plus about a million bucks
for all the added accessories.
My good friends;
this is Honest Tex.
Hey, howdy do, friends.
Well, I finally get
to meet everybody.
Nice to meet you ma'am.
Yes, yes. April's here told
me how helpful you all been
getting her singing
career started.
Oh, April, how is
your singing career?
- Well...
- Oh, it's just fine. Just fine.
It's first class, isn't it hon?
Excuse me, Mr. Honest Tex,
but we've been very excitedly
waiting for April
to come aboard.
Would it be possible to hear
a few words from her, directly?
Well, why not, partner?
Here little hon, why don't
you talk to these nice folks
directly from yourself.
Okay, directly from myself.
I met Honest Tex three
weeks ago, and guess what?
He is now my finance,
and I'm his fiancé.
Your fiancé?
You're engaged?
After knowing him
only three weeks?
No, we get engaged
the first night.
TEX: I always wanted a gal
just like the gal that
married dear ol' dad.
I'm speaking of Dad's
fifth wife, of course.
C'mon, hon. Let's go check
out the bunkhouse now.
Come along, child. Yes, indeed.
- Bye, I'll see you tonight.
- Bye. Good night.
Even though that cowboy
was wearing a white hat,
I'm not all that sure
he's a good guy.
(theme music playing)
Mrs. Rogers you
and your daughter
are on the Promenade
Deck, cabin 340
and it's right up those
stairs and to the left.
Thank you.
Oh, I see you're from Vancouver.
That's one of
my favorite cities.
Are you natives?
Well, I guess I qualify.
We moved there when I was one.
And she's getting
married there in two weeks.
How nice.
I wish you all the
happiness in the world.
Well, mom thought this cruise
would give her time to explain
the facts of life to me.
She's the greatest, really.
Ah, maybe we
better find our cabin.
Enjoy your cruise.
Bye.
(romantic music playing)
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
Do you have a Mrs. Rogers
sailing with you, Martha Rogers?
Yes, with her daughter
Laura, they just boarded.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
(dramatic music)
I know our marriage
got too heavy for you,
but did the typewriter
get too heavy too?
Look, Betty, in all the years
that we've been married
and all the years we've
been writing together
I never carried the typewriter.
And if I didn't carry the
typewriter when I loved you,
why should I carry it
now that I hate you?
I'm just kidding,
I don't hate you.
How do you feel about me?
Other than wanting to
divorce me, of course?
There you go with that
fuzzy dialogue again.
I don't want to divorce you,
we want to divorce each other.
Well, when we finish writing
this movie script together
you won't have to
see me anymore.
Mr. and Mrs. William
Robinson. For the moment.
Ah... Cabin 124.
And Cabin 126.
Adjoining.
124 and 126?
Don't you have adjoining cabins
not quite so close together?
Don't try to figure it
out, she's not too bright.
That's why she's
carrying the typewriter.
Remember, if we split
up, you carry the clipboard.
(ship horn blowing)
(theme music playing)
Hi, guvs, what are you doing?
Well, we've decided to talk
to April about the foolishness
of getting engaged to
somebody she doesn't even know.
Especially a jerk
like Honest Tex.
Come on, she's alone.
But, let's not start to talk
about Honest Tex right away.
Ok? That'd be too obvious.
Oh, right. Uh... Okay, first...
we'll ask her to sing a song
in the show tomorrow night.
I have an idea.
Maybe if I tell her
that if she'll sing a song
I'll play my flute.
No, we're trying to convince
her, not discourage her.
- Hola, April.
- Hola.
- Hello.
- Hi.
You know something, I was
wondering where all of you were.
But now you are here so I can
stop wondering where you were.
Uh, April, we were wondering
if maybe you'd like to
sing a song for our
show tomorrow night.
Sure, sure. I'd love to sing
a song for all you bodys.
For my friends.
For my family.
Ah, April, that's what we
wanted to talk to you about.
You know some times a husband
is considered part of the family.
No kidding.
April, you see, what
Gopher's trying to say, is...
Hey! Here you are, hon. Yeah.
- A little toddy for the body.
- Thank you.
Say, this is nice canoe
you got here, friends.
Yes, a beauty. You ever decide
to go in the used ship business,
You let me know, I pay
top dollar on a trade-in.
And if you got a good heater
and radio, I pay extra cash.
He's so full of humor.
Honest Tex, honey, my
friends want me to sing a song
in the show tomorrow night.
Oh, I'm sorry that'd
be impossible, Hon.
See, singin' for free
that's a bad precedent.
No, no, you got to
put up the 'do-re-mee'
if you want to hear the 'fa, so,
la, do. You see what I mean?
Now, listen, Tex.
We realize you're
April's fiancé, but...
No, no, you see,
I'm her manager.
Yeah, a difference. You
see, yes, I'm her manager.
I got a ten-year contract
with that young lady.
- Ten Years?
- Yes, ten years!
April, why did you sign
a ten-year contract?
Well, I was going to
sign a one-year contract
but then Honest
Tex explained to me
that if I signed a ten-year
contract it would save me
signing my name every
year for nine years.
What a genius.
I didn't want her to
get writer's cramp
on wedding ring hand,
you see what I mean.
Come along, darlin', I don't
want you to be in the sun long,
yes, indeedy that'll
scramble your...
oh, my goodness it
warm out here ain't it?
- Bye.
- Bye.
That's a nice hat,
Tex. You got it in black?
Okay, then what?
So, then, when the boss asks
the guy if he's willing to risk
losing his job for the sake
of the girl, he says, "maybe".
"Perhaps".
I didn't say "perhaps".
I said "maybe".
Well, "perhaps" is better.
Maybe you're right.
Perhaps you're right.
Now, shall we get
on with the script?
Maybe.
Alright. You know the scene
where we couldn't figure out
how the guy could pick
up the girl in the bar?
Well, I think I've
got it figured out.
The guy goes into the
bar, he's all by himself.
Now, he sits down at the bar.
Now a couple of stools
away is sitting the girl.
The guy sees her. There's
a bowl of peanuts on the bar.
In front of the guy.
He reaches into the bowl of
peanuts takes out a peanut,
throws it in the air,
catches it in his mouth
to attract her attention.
Well, what do you think?
It's dumb.
Catching peanuts in his mouth.
Even if she did notice him,
she'd just think he was dumb.
Really?
Really.
Come on.
Where?
We're going to the bar.
I'm gonna show
you how dumb it is.
Well, maybe it isn't
dumb, it's just stupid.
(theme music playing)
Hello, Martha.
Where did you come from?
That's hardly the
way to greet a man
you haven't seen
in twenty years.
May I?
Thank you.
I must say you look wonderful.
So does Laura...
How's Burt?
Burt and I were divorced
when Laura was five.
Tom, I don't want any trouble.
You promised me
never to contact.
Martha, I've kept my promise
for more than twenty years.
This meeting was pure chance.
I've raised her alone, Tom.
She's all I've got.
She's my life.
But she's my daughter.
- Hi.
- Hello.
This is Mr. Thornton,
an old friend of mine.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
- Excuse me, um, sit down.
- Thank you.
You know, I was a neighbor of
your mother's twenty years ago.
LAURA: You were?
Are you alone?
Yes.
Well, won't you
join us for dinner?
I'm sure my mom would love it.
Oh, yes. Please do.
I'd love to.
Thank you.
Good.
(reflective music)
Wait a minute.
This looks like a good one.
Now, if I charm her
with the old peanut trick,
it goes into the script. Agreed?
Ag reed.
(lounge music)
Terrific.
(theme music)
(Italian music)
So, what does your
husband-to-be do?
He's a doctor, an obstetrician.
Oh, wonderful.
There's nothing more
beautiful than the birth of a child.
Unless, of course, it happens
in the middle of the night.
You know, there's something
I don't understand about you.
I always thought that
stockbrokers were...
frenzied, you know? You
seem like the calm type.
Well, that's because I'm
dining with two lovely ladies.
You should me with
the bulls and the bears.
I bet.
Oh, is it nine yet?
9:05.
I told Jim I'd call him
at nine. I'll be right back.
Send my love.
Okay.
It's amazing.
Here I am dining
with my own daughter,
almost a total stranger to me.
Yet, I love her as if I'd
known her all her life.
Stop torturing yourself, Tom.
And stop torturing me.
I don't mean to.
It's just I feel she
has a right to know,
and I have a right to tell her.
No, you don't.
You gave up that right
when you asked Burt
and me to adopt Laura.
I was 21 when Laura was born.
No job, no money.
And then when Claire
died in childbirth, I just...
fell apart, that's
all. I went to pieces.
I remember. It was a sad time.
I tried raising Laura
by myself. I couldn't.
It'd be hard for a single
parent and especially a father.
All I wanted to do was
what was best for her.
And you did.
Don't spoil it now.
Don't take the
chance of hurting her.
She's so happy. You
can see that, can't you?
Oh, yes. You both
did a wonderful job.
She's happy, secure.
She really knows who she is.
Not yet she doesn't.
Okay, Betty, I'll
admit I was wrong
about the old peanut
in the mouth trick,
but I am not wrong about this.
I'm telling you
that if we write a hand
holding scene into this script,
they're going to laugh us
right out of the business.
Will you just give it a chance?
Now, give me your hand.
I'm telling you, couples
don't hold hands anymore!
We don't, but couples do!
I'm telling you it won't work!
It will work!
Give me your stupid hand!
Well, here's to April, who
started as a stowaway,
and ended up stealing
our hearts away.
- Hey, to April.
- To April. April.
If I steal your heart, you
don't have to steal mine.
I give it to you.
Well, now, I sure hate to be
the one to cut short a good party,
but you come along, hon.
We got to send a telegram to
my friend over there in Las Vegas.
See, we're going to
make a big star out of April,
have her name up in lights
taller than she is herself.
Oh?
Yeah, well, the entertainment
director over at Brutus Palace
is a pal of mine, you see.
I guess you know him
personally, of course.
Well, I sure enough do. I
sold him a used car once.
You know, it's a funny thing.
I sent him a telegram
a few days ago,
and ain't never got no answer.
Well, maybe he was on his
way to answer the telegram,
and the car you
sold him broke down.
A cute little rascal, aint he?
Yeah, well. Come on. We
got to make you a big star.
Don't worry, I will
still talk with all of you
when I am a big
star. I love you.
What are we going
to do about him?
I don't know, you little rascal.
Well, I think one of us is just
going to have to take her aside
and tell her.
Tell her what exactly?
That she wound up
with a phony fiancé,
and even a phonier manager.
You mean, one of
us has to tell her.
Oh, no. No way!
I'm not going to be
the patsy in this one!
No, and that's final!
Period, exclamation point!
Question mark?
(theme music)
(indistinct dialogue)
Oh, thanks, that was nice.
Would you care for a refill?
Uh, yes, thank you.
How about you?
- No. No thank you.
- Sure?
Mom, you okay?
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
I was just planning
your wedding in my head.
Oh, don't be silly.
Don't worry about
that. It's going to be fine.
Mr. Thornton is such a nice man.
Yes, he is.
What were you two talking
about when you were dancing?
Oh, married life mostly.
He was advising me
in a fatherly sort of way.
I see.
I think he likes you, though.
Really.
If you don't mind my saying so,
I think you're being
a little cool to him.
How come?
Here we are.
Sure you wouldn't want another?
Uh, no.
I may just have one
more dance left in me.
Well, I'd love to...
Uh, sweetheart, you've
been on the go for weeks.
Why don't you get some sleep?
I think it would
be better for you.
Oh, come on, Martha.
It's not that late.
Uh, no actually, Mr. Thornton,
I think my mom's right.
I really could use the sleep.
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Mr. Thornton.
I'll see you tomorrow.
You bet.
(piano lounge music)
- Hi, Isaac.
- Hi.
Would you give me
a double anything?
I think I'm going to need it
before I tackle a
typewriter again.
Still having trouble
with the script?
Not really.
One more big scene,
and it's finished.
Great.
Not great.
I'm not sure I want
to finish the script.
But I thought that's why you
and your wife came on the cruise.
We did.
But when the script is
finished, so is the marriage.
And you don't want
to finish the marriage.
Well, I thought I did,
but well, now I'm not sure.
You've agreed to stay together
until you finish
the script, right?
Uh-huh.
Well, don't finish the script.
Just keep shoveling
rotten ideas at her,
and you'll never
get it finished.
Isaac, you're a genius.
That's fantastic.
Rotten ideas.
I got a million of those.
Hey, (speaking Spanish)
Yeah, of course. I agree.
I... I... I was wondering
if Gopher and I could, uh,
talk to you alone.
How going to be alone when
you are both going to be there?
And if you both are
going to be there.
Why can't I be there?
Well, it's, uh, man talk.
Yeah, it's man talk.
Let the men talk, April.
Come on. Let's go for a stroll.
What is a stroll?
If it's fattening,
I don't want any.
Bye.
Yeah, well, gentlemen,
what's the man talk here, huh?
Uh, you tell him, Doc.
No, no. That's
okay. You tell him.
Yeah, don't be shy.
Speak up boys, speak up.
Okay, well, we
were wondering, uh,
say, where did you get that
really marvelous looking tuxedo?
He's putting me on.
No, is it a copy or an original?
Who's your clothier?
Well, now, if this is man talk,
maybe we'd better
go rejoin the ladies.
Oh, no, no. We haven't
talked about your boots yet.
So you wear garters
with the boots?
Tell us about your home.
April, I want to talk to
you about Honest Tex.
Oh, he was just here.
Why didn't you talk
to him about him?
Well, um...
Julie, isn't he
something special?
Honest Tex was the assistant
manager of a used car lot.
He gave it up all to manage me.
But April, to be a
performer's manager,
a person has to have a
certain amount of experience.
Honest Tex has
a lot of experience
as a performer manager.
He managed me for
the whole week now.
Um, April, Honest Tex
just doesn't seem to have
the qualifications to
manage your career.
Besides that, he may be Tex,
but I don't know
about the honest part.
Julie, Honest Tex is very honest
or people would not
call him Honest Tex.
If he wasn't honest, people
will call him Dishonest Tex.
But April, he calls
himself Honest Tex.
No, Julie.
He's not the only one who
call himself Honest Tex.
I also call him Honest Tex.
You don't call him Honest Tex,
then you are no
friend of mine, Julie.
(knock on door)
Come in.
I've got it! I finally
got the ending!
- Are you ready?
- Ready.
Okay, sit down.
I am sitting down.
Uh, yes you are sitting down.
Well, I mean, when someone
gets an extraordinary idea
like I have, they
really don't know
whether a person is
standing up or sitting down.
I mean, for example, when
Alexander Graham Bell
invented the telephone,
I'm sure that he did not know
whether Mrs.
Alexander Graham Bell
was standing up or sitting down.
Well, probably sitting down.
Later on, she'll be getting
up a lot to answer the phone,
but she didn't know that then.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
Are you ready for the ending?
The ending of all time.
Okay.
What is it?
Yeah, what is it? Yes. Well...
We do a complete switch
on everything that
we've been doing.
Everything that
we've been thinking.
Everything that
we've been feeling.
You see, what we're dealing with
here is a light romantic comedy,
and the audience expects
the typical romantic ending.
But that's where
we fool the audience.
We do not give them a
typical romantic ending.
We give them a tragic ending.
As the two lovers
wander off into the night
never to see each other again
as they go their separate ways,
their story expresses the
futility of the human condition
as we know it today in society.
Complex and mysterious.
The audience will not laugh.
The audience will not cry.
The audience will not
even be entertained.
The audience will
just sit there and stare.
Well, what do you think?
I like it.
You do? You really like it?
I love it!
We've got our ending.
(music)
I have an alternate ending.
Surely you must see
my side of this, Martha.
That's my daughter.
It is wrong to tell her.
Utterly wrong.
Why?
She knows she's
adopted, doesn't she?
Well, doesn't she?
Of course.
Well then, what's the problem?
I haven't been
tracking you down.
I haven't been
following you for years.
Something I haven't told you.
Laura knows she's adopted.
But when she was
growing up, I told her that...
well, I felt it was
for her own good.
What?
I told her that I adopted
her from a hospital.
That I didn't know
her parents' name
and that both of them were dead.
(theme music)
(Julie playing flute)
Julie.
Julie.
Julie, will you put that
flute down a minute
so we can talk to you?
We have nothing to talk about.
You all made me the goat
who had to talk to April
about her boyfriend.
Well, now she hates
me, and I hate everybody!
Hate, hate, hate!
(knock on door)
You know, up to now I always
thought of you as just one of
Miss April's best
friends, but you know,
I was taking my morning
walk and exercises out there,
and I heard that
beautiful flute music.
And I said to myself, "Tex,
you are listening to an artist."
Me?
Yes, I mean, you just... well,
you just play like an angel.
Well, that knocks the
honest out of his name.
Let the man talk.
I don't have time to talk
about it right now, little lady.
If you're interested in a
show business career,
I'd be most interested in
being your personal manager.
What?
TEX: Yes, yes. We'll talk
about the contract later.
I got to go find
Miss April right now.
She seems a little upset about
something happened last evening,
but she wouldn't
tell me what it was.
You see, uh, she didn't happen
to mention it to you, did she?
Uh, no. I haven't
seen her today.
Yeah, I'll just go talk to Miss
April 'cause I always seem to be
able to make her feel a
little better when I talk to her.
Now, you just keep
practicing on that flute.
You remember what
happened to Isaac Stern.
Isaac Stern plays the violin.
But I know that, but you
see, that's because he didn't
practice on the flute enough.
Yeah, you just stay right
here and practice, okay?
- Hmm!
- That phony.
Wait till April finds out
he's trying to sign up
a no talent flute player.
Goodbye, gentlemen.
(music)
C sharp.
(theme music)
Hey, I think you're the one
that should have gone
to bed early last night.
You look tired.
Oh, well, I... I had a very
strange dream last night.
Yeah?
I, uh, I dreamed that
your natural father came
and tried to take
you away from me.
Oh, Mom.
Hey, I think Freud would say
that is a very normal reaction
for any mother whose
daughter is about to be married.
You just substituted my
father for the husband role.
I guess you're right.
Hey, and honest, Mom,
you're not losing me.
We're only going to
live three blocks away.
I'm sure you're going
to be very happy.
You know, I haven't wondered
about my natural parents much
since you told me they died.
Being adopted hasn't always
been easy for you, has it?
(somber music)
Well, I knew a girl who spent
years trying to track down
her natural parents.
When she found them,
it was very disillusioning.
Can be pretty traumatic.
I'm sure.
Besides, even if my natural
parents were still alive,
I'm not even sure
I'd want to know.
I mean, even if they were
nice and everything, I...
I'd be afraid it
would change my life.
My life is just
perfect the way it is.
Mine too.
(swelling music)
Of course, sometimes
I wonder, you know,
what they might look like or
what my name was.
Stuff like that.
Oh.
(theme music)
(knock on door)
I can't find the script.
Did you take it last night?
No, I left it with you.
Are you sure?
Of course, I'm sure.
No, you took it. I'm
positive you took it.
If you're so positive I took the
script, then why did you ask me
if I was sure I
left it with you?
Oh, I don't know.
All I know is the
script is gone.
Does that mean we're going
to have to start all over again?
Oh, no. We've got to find it.
I couldn't go
through all that again.
It would take ages.
Well, maybe somebody
came in. How about a steward?
The maid.
The maid came in when
I was taking a shower.
Of course.
Of course, the maid.
Why didn't I think of that?
The maid came in
and took the script
because she's going into
motion picture production.
Well, maybe the
script fell on the floor,
and the maid took it
thinking it was rubbish.
When we wrote it, I
knew it was rubbish,
but I didn't expect an
inexperienced maid to know it.
I'm going to the rubbish room.
LAURA: Oh, boy.
I'm glad I wasn't
playing you for money.
You're great at shuffleboard.
Oh, thanks.
You're lucky to have a mom
and dad to take you on this cruise.
Oh, I'm always here.
Captain Stubing's my father.
He is? How nice.
My mom died last year.
Oh, I'm sorry.
My mom and dad died too.
A long time ago.
I'm real lucky, though.
This wonderful lady adopted
me when I was just a teeny baby.
She's the best mom in the world.
She looks like she's very nice.
Vicki, this is my
mother, Mrs. Rogers.
Hello, Vicki.
And this is our
friend, Mr. Thornton.
- Hi.
- How do you do, Miss Stubing.
- Won't you join us?
- Oh, thank you.
Well, my real
name isn't Stubing.
- Oh?
- It's sort of confusing.
But after my mom
and my other dad died,
I found out that my real
father was Captain Stubing.
Oh, that must have been
quite a surprise for you.
It was.
At first when I found
out that Captain Merrill,
that's what I call him,
was my real father, I was
sort of scared and mixed up.
But the minute I met him,
I knew that I loved him,
and I'd be the happiest
girl in the world.
That's just the way
he makes me feel.
How great to have a dad
who loves you so much.
I bet having you makes
him feel pretty happy, too.
I think it does.
You want to meet
him? He's super.
Sure.
I'll bet you'll love him too.
- But I can't let you borrow him.
- Okay.
- Excuse us. See you later.
- Sure.
Meeting her real father
certainly hasn't hurt Vicki.
(lounge music)
My Honest Tex is going to
manage Julie and her flute?
No way, because I will kill him!
April, I think
you're overreacting.
Actually, I didn't
hear him say it myself.
I'm just telling
you what I heard.
Who told you that?
- Doc.
- Gopher.
Julie.
Julie.
Julie, Julie, Julie.
(speaking foreign language)
No wonder she was saying to me
to a stay away from Honest
Tex so she can be around him.
When the mice is away,
the rat fink will play.
The cat will play.
I don't know about the cat.
But I know two rats
play when I sleep.
One rat plays the flute, and
the other rat wears a cowboy hat.
Well, there y'all are.
Ah, hi, huh.
(emphatic music)
Why'd you do that, hon?
Because orange
juice is good for you.
Where you going, hon?
(speaking Spanish)
(speaking Spanish)
(theme music)
I'm telling you
it's not in here.
Is this the only day
you clean this ship?
Betty, this is a
total waste of time.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay. I'm
beginning to like it.
We're never going to
find that script in here.
Now, let's see. If I were a
script, where would I go?
Oh, Bill, look at this.
You remember the time you gave
me a heart-shaped box of candy?
Oh, yes, of course.
You never gave me a
heart-shaped box of candy in your life.
Yes. That's what I said.
I never gave you a
heart-shaped box of candy.
Well, why didn't you?
Eh, Why didn't I?
Yes. Well, it wasn't because
I didn't love you enough.
It was because I
loved you too much.
I didn't want to insult
your intelligence
by giving you
something like this.
Besides, we both know that
a heart isn't shaped like this.
A heart is shaped like a fist,
and I love you too much to give
you a fist-shaped box of candy.
(romantic music)
You want to go back to the
cabin and look for the script?
Oh, I've already looked
everywhere in the cabin.
It's not there.
Did you look in the bed?
- In the bed?
- Uh-huh.
Under the blankets.
Under the blankets?
Oh, no. That's the one
place I forgot to look.
(romantic music)
Well, I certainly sympathize
with you, Mrs. Rogers.
You have a monumental
decision to make.
I'm sorry to have
imposed on you, captain,
but when I heard Vicki
telling my daughter that...
Yes, there are
similarities in their lives.
I... I only want
what's best for Laura.
Well, that's all I
wanted for Vicki.
Fortunately, everything
turned out fine.
Obviously, I...
I can't make the
decision for you.
All I can do is tell you
to do what you feel.
But, I'm frightened.
So was I.
But I found that all of us,
adults and children alike,
have this incredible
inner strength,
a resiliency to help
us bounce back.
How we bounce back
depends on the love and support
of those around us.
Oh, Vicki introduced me
to Laura this afternoon.
She's a lovely girl.
Thank you.
Just remember.
If you do decide to tell
her, there may be tears,
but those tears could lead
to a greater joy for all of you.
Thank you.
I hope I've been of some help.
Oh, you have. You really have.
(melancholic music)
TOM: Martha?
You all right?
Tell her tonight.
(theme music)
Well, we still haven't
found the script yet.
I was almost sure it would
be under the blankets.
Well, we may not have found it,
but it was sure
fun looking for it.
You know, it was almost as
much fun looking for the script
as it was writing it.
Oh.
(romantic music)
(dance music)
(applause)
So really, you don't have to
perform if you don't want to.
No.
I made my friends a promise.
It's not nice to
broke a promise.
The shoe must go on.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a very special
friend sailing with us this cruise.
And I'm very happy to say
she's going to perform for us.
Believe me, you're in
for a wonderful treat.
So let's welcome our
good friend, April Lopez.
(applause)
(Spanish guitar)
Captain.
Yes?
Uh, would you see that
Miss April gets this, please?
Certainly.
You tell her I'm sorry things
didn't work out just right.
(Spanish guitar continues)
(applause)
Ladies and gentlemen, I
have some good news for you
and for this lovely and
talented young lady.
I want to read this.
Dear Honest Tex, loved
April's record you sent me.
Knowing you're a
man of your word,
I'm sure she looks
as good as you say.
Consider this
telegram a contract
for a two-week engagement
Pudd Crane, Brutus'
Palace Las Vegas!
(April screams) (crowd cheering)
Okay, April.
Let's see what
Las Vegas is in for.
Musical Let's do it!
Wow!
(music "La Bamba")
APRIL: All right.
(April trills tongue)
Wow!
Everybody help me.
♪ Bamba La bamba,
Bamba La bamba ♪
(singing in Spanish)
Uh-huh.
Cuchi-cuchi, cuchi-cuchi,
cuchi-cuchi, cuchi-cuchi.
(singing in Spanish)
La bamba!
(applause)
(theme music)
Mom.
Mom, guess what
Mr. Thornton just told me?
He said if he ever
had a daughter,
he'd want her to
be exactly like me.
What a beautiful thing to say.
Um, well why don't you two
take a stroll in the moonlight?
Good night.
Thank you.
What more could a man ask
then to see his daughter
completely happy?
I just realized to tell
her would be selfish.
I would like to ask
a favor, though.
Yes?
I'd like to come visit
from time to time.
Oh, I would like that very much.
(romantic music)
It's nice of you
to invite me back.
Nice of you to accept.
Now, Bill, what
about the script?
Hmm? Script? What script?
Well, it's too bad
that we lost it.
I mean, I suppose the only
thing we can do is start writing
the whole thing over again.
Yeah. And it will take months.
Perhaps it would make the
work seem a little less dreary
if we went up to
that country house
where we first started
writing together,
you know, and work
together up there?
Oh, yeah.
We had some great
times up there, remember?
Ah, yes. I do remember.
What's that?
Hmm? That? Oh,
that's just the script.
Uh, the script.
You dog!
You had the script all the time?
How deceitful can a person be?
You really take the cake!
Now, wait a minute, Betty.
I can explain anything.
I mean, everything.
Uh, look, Betty.
Try and understand why I did it.
I did it because I wanted us to
spend some more time together
because I love you.
You love me?
More than ever.
I love you, too.
That's why I didn't tell you
that I made a carbon copy.
You made a carbon
copy of the script?
You rat.
You devil.
You witch.
(bright music)
(theme music)
Tex?
Oh, hi there, little lady.
I'm so sorry I got
myself mad at you.
Oh, that's all
right, little lady.
Yes.
I was going crazy with jealous
because the group told me
you told Julie that you
gonna make her a bigger star.
No, no, no. I just
told her that because
you told me how nice
they'd all been to you.
I was trying to be
nice so you see...
besides she does play
the flute pretty good.
Not as good as a
shepherd, but pretty good.
But you're my only star.
Okay?
Tex, do you really think
I'm gonna be good
enough for Las Vegas?
Las Vegas?
My little honey, you're good
enough for the whole wide world.
You'll make the man
on the moon smile.
You know, it would have been
the proudest day of my whole life
if I could have taken
you back to my hometown
and introduce you as my bride.
Mrs. Honest Tex. Hmm.
What a beautiful name.
Wait a minute now.
Did you mean that...?
Hey, I will be the happiest
man in the whole wide world!
Ah!
Now, wait a
minute, little honey.
I got to tell you the truth.
Old Honest Tex did tell
you one little teeny weeny lie.
See, my hometown is New Jersey.
Mrs. Honest New Jersey.
I'm so lucky!
Hey!
(theme music)
Hey, I just want to say goodbye
and wish you good
luck on your movie script.
Thank you.
Thank you, Isaac.
Did you find another
ending for the script?
No, but we found another
beginning for our marriage.
Yes.
Now for one thing I get
to carry the typewriter.
- Bye.
- Bye.
LAURA: Isn't that odd?
Oh, Mr. Thornton it's so
wonderful to have met you.
I feel like I've made
a friend for life.
You have.
- Goodbye, Laura.
- Good bye.
- Goodbye, Tom.
- Bye-bye.
Please let me
hear from you soon.
Oh, that's a promise.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
I hope you don't
think I'm crazy,
but would you come
to my wedding?
I'd love to.
Good.
Honest Tex, I hope
you'll accept our apologies
for doubting your
honesty even for a minute.
It's just that we're
very protective of April.
Oh, that's all right. I
understand, Captain.
Of course, there's some days
I don't even believe me myself.
Oh, he understands. I
explain to him everything.
I told him (speaking Spanish)
Baby, what does that mean, hon?
I don't know. I say it so fast
I couldn't understand myself.
(upbeat music)
(theme music)