The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 3, Episode 16 - Doc's 'Ex' Change/The Gift/Making the Grade - full transcript

(theme music playing)

♪ Love ♪

♪ Exciting and new ♪

♪ Come aboard ♪

♪ We're expecting you ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ Let it flow ♪

♪ It floats back to you ♪

♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪

♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪

♪ Set a course for adventure ♪

♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ It's an open smile ♪

♪ On a friendly shore ♪

♪ It's love ♪

♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪

(up-tempo music playing)

(theme music playing)

This ship is bigger
than Cleveland.

I hope I don't get lost.


Why did you have to
wear that loud jacket?

To cover up this loud tie.

You ought to be glad
I didn't wear the pants.

It's really a suit.

Hi. Welcome aboard.


Lovely place you have here.

Thank you.

Beautiful, isn't it, sweetheart?

Well, it certainly is.

Still playing
blackjack on the ship?

Yes, sir. They sure do.

You're not playing blackjack.

I don't want to play.

I just want to watch.

The last time you watched,
$3000 disappeared.

Do you remember when you
swore you'd never gamble again?

And I haven't.

Not in six months.

Uh, could you tell us
where our cabin is, please?

Sure, yeah. I, uh,
don't know your names.

Buddy and Jean Redmond.

I'm Buddy.

Oh, Promenade 348.

- Thank you very much.
- Um-hmm.

Come on, Mr. Taste.

Oh, Mr. Taste,
uh... Mr. Redmond,

a gentleman left this for you.


- The gentleman said that...
- That was no gentleman.

That was my bookie.

I haven't gambled.

I just bet on sure things.

(theme music playing)

What's the matter with you?

That guy's jacket, it's so loud.

I have one just like it.

I can't hear what you're saying.
I have my hands over my ears.

I'm really sorry, Mr. Carter,
but I called the airline,

and they've been unable
to find your luggage.

Well, that's just great.

What are we going to do?

Look, if those clothes aren't
here by the time we sail,

I’m going to sue
everybody involved.

Well, uh, maybe I can
borrow some clothes

from some of the
other passengers.

We don't need charity.

Hello, there. Problem?


The airline has
misplaced their luggage.

You can kiss those bags goodbye.

JULIE: He was kidding.
They'll find them.

What I say?

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'm Madeline Harris.
This is my son, Danny.

- Hello, Danny.
- Hi.

- Mrs. Harris.
- VICKI: Hi.


You work here?

Well, sort of.

Do I get a discount
because I'm a kid?

Not a chance.

The airlines let
kids fly for half fare.

But they don't have
a swimming pool.

I hate girls who have
an answer for everything.


I mean, what do you think?

Any Mom who would take
a kid on a cruise like this

can't be all bad.

Hi, Danny.

I thought you'd be home
studying your history this weekend.

Mr. Hurley, uh.

Hi. I'm John Hurley. I'm
one of Danny's teachers.

Yes, of course. Madeline Harris.

We met at open house
at school, remember?

Oh, I remember. I... I
just wasn't sure you did.

(playful music playing)

Well, nice seeing you
again, and have fun.

- Thanks.
- Danny.

Have fun?

With him on board?

He seems nice enough.


You know what the kids call him?

Mr. Rotten.

Honest, Mom, he hates me.

He really has it in for me.

Danny, it isn't his fault
you're failing history.

Yeah? Then whose fault is it?

Boy, if anyone yells,
"Man overboard" this cruise,

I hope it's for Hurley.


Well, looks like I just made it.

Yes, and I'm very
glad that you did.

Your name, please.

Mrs. Adam Bricker.

No kidding.

Hey, we've got an
Adam Bricker on this ship.

He's a doctor.

You wouldn't by any chance
be one of his many ex-wives,

- would you?
- No, I wouldn't.

Speak of the devil.
Hey, Doc, come here..

Wait till he finds out
you have the same name.

Doc, you want to
hear something funny?

This lovely lady has
the same name... Oh...


GOPHER: You know her?

(sinister music playing)

You lied to me.

Oh no, I didn't.

I said I wasn't one
of his ex-wives.


Brace yourself, Adam.

We're still married.

Still what? What? We
can't still be married.

We were divorced
three years ago.

Not true.


Not true?

Not true.

(somber music playing)

Uh, is there another
doctor in the house?

(theme music playing)

Jean, darling.

I want to check out the ship.

All right.

(playful music playing)

Oh, no gambling.

Did you hear?

I heard. I heard.

I told you I wouldn't.

(playful music
continues playing)

- See you at dinner.
- Uh-huh.

- Don't forget to lock up.
- Uh-huh.


Oh, hi. I wonder if I
could ask you a favor.

Oh, look, if you're
selling clothes,

see the Misses.
She'll buy anything.

Anything that's marked down.

Last week she
bought an escalator.

Oh, come in.

- JULIE: Hello.
- Oh, hi.

What can I do for you?

Well, I'm trying to borrow
some clothes for a young couple

that lost their luggage.

Ah, the poor kids.

Yeah, and I did notice that your
husband is about the same size

as Mr. Carter.

- Same size?
- Uh-huh.

Well... Oh... (laughs)

I've got just the thing.

There you go.

Well, thank you.

Are you sure your
husband won't mind?

Oh, of course he'll mind.
That's why I like doing it.


Bye-bye coat.

JULIE: Thank you.

♪ White wings against the sky ♪

♪ Dust beneath my feet ♪

Benny, what's the
matter? What's wrong?

It's more than the
luggage, isn't it?

Nothing's the matter.

You said you wanted
to go on a cruise.

So you're on a cruise.

So what are you
picking at me for?

(somber music playing)

Is it the money?

No, it's not the money.

We can't afford
it, though, can we?

It's not that.

I stole the money
for the tickets.

SALLY: What?

Well, I didn't exactly steal it.

I... I borrowed it from
petty cash from the office.

I was going to replace
it when we got back.

Replace it with what?


Mr. Voegler's going to
have you thrown in jail.

Why did you do it?

Because... other
husbands get their wives

what they want and deserve.

I've never been able
to do that for you.

I don't care. I don't
need it, not like this.

Oh, come on. I
got eyes. I can see.

All your friends,
they've got money.

They go on trips.

I was afraid of losing you.

Oh, Ben.

You know I don't need
anything except your love.

(romantic music playing)

Samantha, how can
we not be divorced.

I mean, I didn't contest
it, and I sent you $500

to pay the lawyer
for the divorce.

That's true, and I gave
the $500 to the lawyer.

Well, so, go back and
ask him what happened.

(chuckles) It's so
simple. Just talk to him.

I can't. The judge
gave him ten years.

Seems that he's done
this to other people before.

Samantha, where
did you find this guy?

Oh, my butcher recommended
him. It's his wife's brother.

He does tax returns too.

SALLY: Come in.


SALLY: Hi, Julie.

Well, I borrowed
some clothes for you.

Thank you.

I know that losing your
luggage really upset you,

but I hope this helps.

It will. And please thank
everybody else for us too.

- Okay.
- It was really nice of them.

Hey, I'm sorry if I was a
pain in the neck before.

Forget it.

Well, at least now you
can all go to dinner, huh?

Bye-bye. (giggles)

- Bye.
- Bye.

(theme music playing)

Look, maybe Mr. Voegler
will let you pay it back weekly.

Yeah, sure.

You're no criminal.

You don't know Voegler.

He believes in capital
punishment and double parking.


We'll work out something.

(soft music playing)




There must be $2000 here.

Probably fell out
of the clothes.

We'll have to give
it back to Julie.

Wait a second.

Who said it fell out from
somebody's clothes?

It wasn't on the floor before.

Well, it could have slipped
out from under the bed.

It could have been here
two to three cruises ago.


It could have.

Honey, if I can give
this money to Voegler,

maybe I won't
have to go to jail.


(soft music playing)

Maybe it did out
from under the bed.

(dramatic music playing)

(theme music playing)

(lounge music playing)

How's your steak?

The best.

I mean, almost as
good as you make it.

Oh, you.

Good evening.

- Well, hi.
- Hi.


Uh, Mr. Hurley, if you're alone,
we'd love to have you join us.

Oh, thank you. I'd like that.

Looks like I've got some,
uh, catching up to do, huh?

Why don't you finish my
steak? I'm not hungry anymore.

Danny, your dinner.


Do as your mother says.

We should have gone by plane.

Well, Doc always
finds the pretty ones.

GOPHER: That's his wife.

Uh, you mean his ex-wife.

That's what Doc thought.

But his ex-wife turned
out to be his ex-ex-wife.

That makes her his wife again.

- I don't understand this.
- Well, neither does Doc.

I don't understand.

For the past three years, I've
been acting like a single man.

- Happy.
- Adam, it's not my fault.

I wanted a divorce
just as much as you did.

In fact, now that
I see you again,

I think I wanted it
more than you did.

Samantha, I'll tell
you what we'll do.

When we stop
south of the border,

we'll get a Mexican divorce.

- Should we?
- Of course.

Everyone should have some
pleasant memory from a cruise.

(lounge music)

- Hey.
- Hmm?

You're always telling
me I have no taste, huh?

Hmm. No taste?

Take a look.

BUDDY: See the guy
wearing that jacket?

It's the kind of a jacket you're
always telling me is too loud.

It is too loud.

Besides, that's your
coat he's wearing.

He's wearing my loud coat?

Uh-huh. They lost their
luggage. I loaned it to them.

You know what
was inside that coat?


I'll tell you what
was inside that coat.

I was inside that coat.

And I want to be
inside of it again.

Sorry, pal, but uh,
that jacket is mine,

and I'd like it back, right now.

Please, Buddy.

All right. You can have it back.

I, uh... I didn't steal
it. It was loaned to me.

Right. Right.

I know all about that,
but it's my jacket, and uh...

Buddy, you are
embarrassing these people.

What color eyes you got?


Hey, look.

A lot of people are
wearing blue and brown.

BUDDY: Now that is
a lovely combination.

Look, I think it's going
to look good on you.

There you are. Looks
beautiful, doesn't it?

Buddy, I... I... you know, you
have to excuse my husband.

I've never seen
him behave this way.

Yes, sir. Really
crazy about this jacket.

Am I right? I've always
been crazy about this jacket.

It's my... my favorite jacket.

Fine jacket.

It's a... very good jacket.

I wish I could explain this.

I... I... I... you... My
mother warned me.

I should have
listened. I really should.

(playful music playing)

(theme music playing)

(lounge music playing)

You don't look like you're
having such a good time.

I'm not.

My name's Vicki.

Danny. Danny Harris.

See that lady dancing
with that creep?

DANNY: The lady's my Mom.

The creep's my history
teacher who's flunking me.

What a bummer.

DANNY: I got to
watch out for my Mom.

I think the guy could
be a philosophical killer.

(giggling) You
mean, pathological.

Whichever's worse.

You know what he did once?

He put a rattlesnake
in my history book.

What happened?


Luckily, I didn't open my
book for a couple of weeks.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Danny.

This is Vicki. This is my Mom.

Nice to meet you.

And, uh, Mr. Hurley.

Hi. How are you?

Hey, Danny, it's getting,
uh, a little bit late, isn't it?

I think John, Mr. Hurley,
is right, honey.

You should be getting to bed.

Do I have to?


I think your mother knows best.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night, Vicki.
- Good night.

Remind me to tell
you about the time

he tried to poison
my Ding Dongs.

Uh, Merrill, before
Samantha gets back,

I wanted to ask you something.

Do you think we're
doing the right thing?

Well, what are you doing?

Well, I think we're getting
a divorce in Mexico.

I think, but I'm not sure.

Well, if you're not sure
about what you're doing,

then I'm sure you're
doing the right thing.

The biggest mistakes of my life

were when I was positive
about what I was doing.

Every time I was
positive, I was dead wrong.

I see.

Do you really think we're
doing the right thing?

I'm positive.

No, wait, you said every
time you were positive

you were always wrong.

That only applies
to my life, not yours.

Care to dance, twinkle toes?

Excuse us, captain.

(lounge music playing)

Well, Captain,
what do you think?

Well, as they say, it's always
nice looking at a divorced

couple who are really married
acting like they're single.

(lounge music playing)

- Tired?
- No.

Just very relaxed and content.

I've had a marvelous evening.

Well, you see there's something
else that we have in common

because, uh, I've had a
marvelous evening too.

If Danny saw that,
he'd disown me.

I, um, hope I'm
not ruining his trip.

Oh, he'll be okay.

I guess it is a rough on him

because he's not
doing very well in history.

Yeah, but he
could be doing well.

You know, he has the
ability to be an A student,

but he doesn't apply
himself. He's lazy, you know.

And, uh, maybe
a little bit spoiled.

I don't think so.

When his Dad and I got divorced,

it was very hard on him.

It was a setback for Danny.

Oh, I... I know the
divorce hurt him,

but now he's using it, you
know, to take advantage of you

because you feel guilty.



If I were you, I'd... I'd
be a little tougher on him.

Use a little more discipline.



You see, you're... you're
too permissive with him.

You know, you let him
get away with murder.

John, I don't need
your instant analysis.

I'm only trying...

Why don't you just
stick to teaching history

and leave parenthood
to people who qualify?

(somber music playing)

(playful music playing)

Some fun cruise this is.

I get all prettied up, and you
don't come back to the cabin.

If that's all prettied up, I
should have my eyes examined

or better you should
have your head examined.

I have been waiting two hours.

Now, where have
you been? Gambling?


I was looking for the guy
who borrowed this jacket.

Aha, ha.

What are you going to
do now? Rip his shirt off?

Very funny.

Very funny.

Look, if you want
to know the truth...

I wanted to apologize
for the way I acted.

You wouldn't happen to
know their name, would you?

I don't remember.

Besides, it's late.

It's too much of a bother.

It's no bother.

Not to you, to them.

Believe me, they'll sleep fine.

Oh boy, you can say that again.

There's no doubt about it.

The money belongs to that man.

You're jumping to conclusions.

He practically tore
that jacket off your body.

Why was he feeling around
and patting all the pockets?

Maybe it's like he said,
it's his favorite jacket.

I bet the money belongs to him.

We don't know that.

Yes, we do know that.

We have to give it back.

You're probably right.


Let me sleep on it.


(theme music playing)

To our divorce.

To our divorce.

Hmm. (laughs)

You know what I remember most?

Having to wait for you to brush
your hair 200 times every night.

Hmm. Whenever
I tried to kiss you,

I'd end up with little pig
bristles between my teeth.

(giggles) TO pig bristles.

Very appropriate for someone
who is always throwing their

dirty socks into the
corner of our bedroom.

Thank you. To all your
irritating, disgusting habits.

And to all your irritating
and disgusting habits.

But especially to your
irritating disgusting habit

of always pointing out my
irritating disgusting habits.

(romantic music playing)

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

(theme music playing)

(theme music playing)


You're in my bed.

Well, of course I'm in your bed.

I'm your wife.

Well, thanks to
some cheating lawyer.

You think last night was
really such a good idea?

I mean, I know we agreed we'd
be good friends until we got to

Mexico to get our
divorce, but uh...

You think maybe we were
being over friendly last night?

Well, my brother and his wife
have never been that friendly

in 20 years, and
they've got eight children.

Maybe we should
have some children.

Uh, Samantha, let's not
start something this morning

we'll have to fight for
custody of this afternoon, hmm.


Maybe you're right.

(soft music playing)

Now don't do that.

You know what that does to me.

I forgot.

What does it do?

You know what it does.

Cut that out.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

(romantic music playing)

I'll only give you $500 a
month for child support.

That's more than you
gave me to run the house.

Well, this is different.

This is my son.

And I want him to go
to Harvard Law School.

(theme music playing)

(playful music playing)

I'll meet you on deck.

I'm going to try to find that
young man and apologize.

It must really be bothering you.

Do you know you tossed
and turned all night?

Yeah, well, I'm afraid
I spoiled their trip.

I'll see you at the pool.

Oh, hi.

Oh, hi.

Julie told us where to find you.

Oh, here's your jacket.

Oh, thanks.

I was just going to look for
you to apologize for last night.

Oh, no. No.

We want to apologize.

We figured out this
was your money.

Well, I, uh... What is it Buddy?

This is not my money.

Hello. You know, my husband
was just going to look for you.

Yeah, well I already
apologized dear.

Are you sure it's
not your money?

Wouldn't I know. Ask Julie
who else gave you some clothes.

What was that all about?


It's the oldest is this
your money con game.

I saw it on the
Movie of the Week.

Suzanne Somers
played the part of the girl.

She was good.

I told ya.

I bet this money has been in our
cabin for I don't know how long.

You might be right.

Of course I am.

If it were Mr. Redman's,
he'd say so, wouldn't he?

I guess so.

Look, if it'll make
you feel better,

I'll ask somebody
on the crew, okay?

Yeah. Would you?


Hello. How are you doing?

Fine, Captain.

- How are you?
- I'm fine, thank you.

Uh, Captain, if a passenger
lost something on the ship,

you'd know about it, right?

Well, it depends on what
kind of something they lost.

Well, like a ring or, uh...

Or like a lot of money, sir.

Money? Oh, absolutely.

I think the last time
a passenger reported

the loss of money
was about a year ago.

But we found it.

You did? Congratulations.
Thank you so much.

- You found it?
- Yes.

Thank you, sir. You
just found it, huh?

Thanks a lot.

Just... just found it.

(soft music playing)

Good morning.

Boy, you got
back late last night.

I fell asleep waiting for you.

I was with Mr. Hurley.

How could you do this to me?

How could you go out
with the man who's flunking

your one and only son?

You're right.

He is a creep.

Huh. Do you really mean that?

Let's not even talk about him.

I promise you won't
have to put up with

Mr. Hurley anymore on this trip.

You're lucky.

You only had him for one night.

I have him every day.

Want to go for a swim?

No, thanks. You go ahead.

Hey, I've got great news.

My Mom and my
teacher hate each other.

That's too bad.

Too bad? Are you whacky?

Well, last night
I got to thinking.

If Mr. Hurley and your
Mom get to be good friends,

he wouldn't have the
guts to flunk you in history.

I never thought of that.

That makes sense.

But it's too late
now. She hates him.

Maybe. Maybe
not. I have an idea.

Okay, but it
better work or else.

Or else what?

You ever try
swimming to Acapulco?

Here's to luck.

Here's to good luck.

Oh, uh, hi, uh, I
want to talk to you,

but uh, I had to
duck my wife first.

I hate to tell you this.

That money is mine.

You see, I couldn't
tell you before

because I won it on a bet.

And I promised her
I wouldn't gamble.

I can identify it.

Two thousand. 14 hundreds,
eight 50's, and ten 20's

with a yellow rubber
band around it.

(theme music playing)

- It's all there.
- Yeah, thanks.

You're a couple of good kids.

Besides, it's not a
fortune, you know.

It's not going to
change any of our lives.


(lounge music playing)

Nice here, isn't it?

Yeah, but wouldn't you
rather be swimming?

Honey, is something
wrong with your watch?


You keep looking at
it every two seconds.


I'd just like to know what
time it is every two seconds.

Mr. John Hurley
to the Pirate's Cove.

Mr. John Hurley.

(lounge music playing)

Come on, Danny. Let's go.

One more, please, Mom?

You had three already.

Hi, I'm, uh, John Hurley.

Hi. Isaac Washington.

Nice to meet you.

Look, uh, didn't you just page
me in a little tiny high voice?

You mean, in a little
high voice like that?




Look who's there,
Mom, Mr. Hurley.

Come on, Danny.

No need for you to be
subjected to him out of class.

But, Mom... Hi, Madeline.

(theme music playing)

(playful music playing)

I understand what
you're saying, Adam,

but are you sure
you want a divorce?

Oh, of course, uh, Samantha
and I both want a divorce.

Why do you ask?

Uh, seems to me that you
keep saying you want a divorce,

but uh, from what you've
told me what's going on,

neither of you is acting
like you want a divorce.

You know, you may be right.

Oh, my God.

Maybe we're in love.

It's possible.

But I don't want to be in love.

With me, love always
leads to divorce,

and I don't want to
keep getting divorced.

In the time it takes
to get divorced,

I could be falling in love
with the next woman.

Adam, it's hard to argue with a
man that makes such good sense.

Seems to me you're
already in love,

and since you're
already married,

why get divorced
when you don't want

to keep getting divorced anyway?

I can't make it any
clearer than that, can I?

See how easy it is when I
cut right through to the bone?

(theme music playing)

If we don't get this finished,
we're going to miss dinner.

How's that? Better?

I'm sorry. Please meet me
on the Promenade Deck at ten,

Mr. Hurley.

I told you meet is not m-e-a-t.

How's mine look?

You spelled my mother's
name wrong again.

Should I sign it
Mr. Hurley or John?

Why don't we use their initials?

Sounds more
intimate and romantic.

Women. I just
want to pass history.

(theme music playing)

Hit me.

I said hit me, not kill me.

Two grand in an hour. You
should open your own store.

Is this the way you
keep your word?

Well, this is my word.

I'm not going to gamble any
more of my life away with you!

Best hand I've had all night.

This is nice, staying
in for the evening,

having dinner at home.

(cork pops)

Oh, Adam.

- More champagne?
- Um-hmm.

Well, we've got to celebrate
our decision to stay married.

You think it'll work this time?

Of course.

Come to me, my adored one.

In a minute darling.

One, two, three,
four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten...

Do you have to do that now?

Adam, you know
what hair follicles say?

If you stimulate me...

(both) I will reward you
with shining, glistening,

beautiful hair.




Adam, are you going
to keep your socks on?

My feet get cold.

But keeping your socks
on is just not romantic.

Samantha, why is it
every single time...?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

You win.

Here we go.

Come to me, my adored one.

Adam, is that the place
for a mature person's socks.


The place for socks is on a
mature person's freezing feet.

That's the place for socks.

(fanfare music playing)

Thirteen, fourteen,
fifteen, sixteen,

seventeen, eighteen, nineteen...

(lounge music playing)

Mr. Washington,
I'll have a plain soda

with plenty of Scotch in it.


Well, how'd you do
at the blackjack table?

Now I know why
they call it blackjack.

Want to feel the lumps?

Hey, it's only money.

I'll remember that
when I leave you a tip.

You can't go back to the office.

Mr. Voegler will
have you put in jail.

Maybe not.

You know he will, unless you
can pay back that $2000 you took.

BEN: How could I be so stupid?

Taking someone else's money

for... for a cruise we
couldn't possibly enjoy?

SALLY: Ben, I love you.

I don't want you to go to jail.

I love you, too.

(theme music playing)

(theme music playing)

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

- Look, uh...
- You know I...

(chuckles) You go ahead.

I'm sorry for the way I acted.

I... I mean, I... I
should say overreacted.

I'm... I'm really
the one to blame.

I shouldn't have butted
in. But I did mean well.

I know you did.

I'm glad you sent the note.

The note.

I thought you sent...


I should have known.

- Danny, huh?
- Yes.

Disguised, but it's his writing.

I'm kind of embarrassed.

Oh, don't be. He's
smarter than both of us.

At least he found a way
to get us back together.

Yes, he certainly
did, didn't he?

Went to a lot of trouble.

Yes, yes. Yes, he did.

And since he went
to all that trouble,

uh, it wouldn't be fair to
let him down, would it?

No, it wouldn't.

You know, we've
wasted a whole day.

Let's not waste the night too.

(romantic music playing)

(clearing throat)

Oh... hi.

Mr. Hurley.

Looks like you caught your
mother right in the middle

of a kiss with your teacher.

A terrific kiss.

Oh, thank you.

Danny, you and I are going to
have to have a man to man talk.

Your mother and I are going
to be seeing a lot more of

each other when we get back.

That's great.

And, uh, I don't want the
other kids in class to get the idea

that you're getting
preferential treatment

because I'm dating your mother.

So, I might have to be
a little bit tougher on you.

(deflated sigh)

But I think you can handle it.

Would you like to dance?

Yes, I would.

Excuse us, won't you?




I'm going to kill you!

(playful music playing)

(soft music playing)

(phone ringing)

There you are, Mr. Redmond.

- Thank you and here you are.
- GOPHER: Thank you, sir.



Jean, I want to talk to you.

I see you cashed a check.

You haven't lost enough, huh?

Jean, listen.

I'm going to gamble one
more time and then never again.

That's from the
movie, Fat Chance.

Hey, just the guy
I want to talk to.

Could you come here?

Look, if you hadn't been honest
enough to give me back my money,

I never could have
made the killing tonight

that I did in blackjack.

Biggest score I ever made.

That's great. Congratulations.

I've always made it a habit
to give my good luck charm

a little piece of the action.

Keeps my luck running good.

(soft music playing)

That's a lot of money.

I can't take it.

What do you mean
you can't take it?

What do you want? You
want my luck to turn bad?

Look, Miss, here.

You... you take it. Go
ahead. For household money.

You know, to "hold the
house together" money?

Look, I been a
gambler all my life.

Right now, I'm gambling on you.

I got a hunch you're going
to be a real big winner.

Take it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, I don't know exactly
what you just did back there,

but I have a feeling it
was something very nice.

It was.

(theme music playing)

ninety-nine, one hundred.


Time for bed.

Ah, okay.

Ah, all right.

Ah, ah, Adam?


Adam, there's too
many covers on this bed.

Oh, hey, hey, listen. I
took my socks off for you.

Adam, I can't sleep
under three blankets.

- Look it, I mean...
- Okay, that's it.

A man spends a
third of his life in bed,

and I don't intend to freeze
a third of my life away!

Don't I keep you warm enough.

Well, of course.

Uh, maybe it's not the
kind of warm we both need.

You want a divorce?



Yes, I do.

So do I.

Married, we'd end
up hating each other.

Uh-huh. Divorced, we'll
love each other forever.

(dramatic music playing)

(theme music playing)

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Hey, come back and see us again.

We hope to.

Depends on Mr. Voegler.

Hey, thanks for being so nice.

Hey, wait, wait. Your
luggage just arrived.

- Oh.
- Aw.

Gee, I hope you
guys had a good time.

Your luggage went to Portugal.


- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Gee, I wonder
who Mr. Voegler is.

I don't know. Probably
the travel agent.

Hey, lovely time.


Uh, Gopher, you
remember my bookie,

you know the guy that gave
you the envelope full of money?


Yeah, well I just saw him in the
lobby back there looking for me.

I think he came to
welcome me home.

Do me a favor, will ya,
will you give him this fifty?

I thought you were...

I quit betting. I just don't
want to cut him off cold turkey.

Good bye.

Gopher, we better
find that bookie fast.

What's the rush?

Well, if we don't find him,
we'll be stuck with that fifty.

(theme music playing)

Danny, you know,
I've been thinking.

Maybe I could tutor you a
couple of hours a week in history?

Hey, how about
math and science too?

You think it'll help me pass?

Oh, I wouldn't be surprised
if you became a B student.

Maybe even an A.

Hey, let me quit while
I'm ahead, will ya?


Now are you two sure you
definitely want a divorce?

Merrill, will you marry a
woman who has pink bristles

in her hair, can't
stand blankets,

does sit ups in bed and
won't let you wear socks?

In a flash.

Heya... (dramatic music playing)

(theme music playing)