The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 3, Episode 14 - The Stimulation of Stephanie/The Next Step/Life Begins at 40 - full transcript

A professor's assistant is in love with him but he hasn't a clue; a pro football player has to accept the fact he can't play any longer; a woman comes on board determined to marry the first man who says yes.


(theme music playing)

♪ Love ♪

♪ Exciting and new ♪

♪ Come aboard ♪

♪ We're expecting you ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ Let it flow ♪

♪ It floats back to you ♪

♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Soon we'll be
making Another run ♪

♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪

♪ Set a course for adventure ♪

♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ It's an open smile ♪

♪ On a friendly shore ♪

♪ It's love ♪

♪ Welcome aboard it's love ♪

(marching band music playing)

Um, Ms. Anderson, there
seems to be a mix up here.

According to this, you booked
a honeymoon suite by yourself.

No. The man at the travel
agency had a lot to do with it.

Well, what Julie means is it
usually takes two to honeymoon.

Uh, I know that.

When we get to Mazatlan,
I'm going to get married.

Then I'll be two
or we'll be one.

That'll be enough, won't it?

Yes, I think that's
wonderful. Congratulations.

Thank you.
Everything's arranged,

the cruise, the
ceremony and afterwards

a big party on board ship,
and I want you all to come, huh?

Sounds great.

Ah, good.

- Oh, Mrs. Anderson?
- Uh-huh.

Your fiancée will need a
boarding pass in Mazatlan so,

uh, we'll be happy
to handle it for you

if you just tell us his name.

I can't do that.

- Why not?
- I don't know it.

You see, I haven't met him yet.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Hi. May I... -help you?
- Help you?

Yes.

Professor Norman
Bridges, has he arrived yet?

- Well, let's see.
- I'll check.

I'm a student of his.

Stephanie Chapman,
traveling with him.

Oh.

In separate cabins,

on business.

I'm helping him
with his experiments.

Oh, what kind of experiments?

Oh, reactions to
color, music, sounds.

Oh, it sounds fantastic.

What kind of reactions?

(coughing) Uh, sexual reactions.

That's funny.

When she coughed, it sounded
like she said sexual reactions.

I did.

You ought to cough
when you say that.

Strictly for science.

Most people usually give blood.

Oh, Professor
Bridges, over here.

Let me take that for you, sir.

That's valuable equipment there.

X-rated luggage.

Professor, I'm so
glad you got here.

Traffic was just awful.

I never thought the cab
would get here on time.

Cab? I thought you said your
mother was driving you down.

Good heavens. I
gave mother a tip.

- Hi, Isaac.
- Hi.

What's that?

Oh, this is a hand exerciser.

I am going to have
the strongest forearm

in the history of
racquetball. Watch this.

Oh, man.

You are weak, man.

Let me try that.

Okay.

Oh.

Ah.

What a lemon.

Hi.

Boy you sure are. You are high.

Virgil and Claudette Plummer.

Virgil Plummer!

Isaac Washington!

Man, are you some
kind of ball player.

Ha, what will
they think of next?

A finger exerciser.

So, Mr. Hummer, how some

you're not playing
football this weekend?

Just tell us where our cabin is.

Uh, okay.

Uh, PR 343, and what
you do to get there

is just go through these
stairs and up that door.

Go up those stairs.
Take the elevator.

Wait here until
somebody brings it to you.

Thank you. See you later.

I'd hate to say the
wrong thing to him.

- You just did.
- What? Well, I didn't mean to.

What did I say? What?

Asking him why he's
not playing football.

He got cut from
the team this year.

He's... well, he's washed up.

Oh.

Well okay. Can you just
take over for me for a while.

For how long is a while?

Just until the
end of the cruise.

I'll be locked in my cabin.

(theme music playing)

Miss McCoy thinks
the dining room

would be as good a place
as any to look for a husband.

Let me get this straight.
You've set up the wedding,

the reception, the
honeymoon suite,

and now you're going
to try to find the groom?

Well, everybody
knows a cruise ship

is the perfect place
to find a husband.

I'm just trying to
do things logically.

But, uh, don't you think

you have things
in the wrong order?

You're right.

I could use a stiff
shot of Scotch.

I should be going to the bar.

Young man.

Are you heading for the bar?

Well, Professor, darling,

it's just you and me on
a slow boat to Mexico.

And if you don't notice me now,

I give up.

(sighs)

Professor? Are you
ready for dinner?

(machine sound)

Come on in.

I'll be with you
in just a minute.

Oh, Stephanie,
that dress is perfect.

Oh. Well, thank you.

You know,

my sensitivity reactor

will look perfectly
natural on it.

Pin that on and I'll be able
to monitor your body heat,

your heart beat,
your respiratory rate

and glandular activity for
a distance of 200 yards.

Will it work at close range too?

I don't see why not?

Shall we go to the dining room?

Uh, Professor.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Oh.

Virgil,

aren't you coming to dinner?

I'm not hungry.

You've got to have
something to eat.

Otherwise, you'll waste away.

Of course it'll take
two or three years.

Ah, how about a smile, kid?

That's the one where the
corners go up, remember?

If I go to dinner,

everyone's going to want to know

how come I'm not
playing ball this year.

Honey, everybody's
life does not revolve

around the career
of Virgil Plummer.

Virgil Plummer
doesn't have a career.

Oh.

Virgil Plummer doesn't
have a football career,

but there are a million
other careers to go after.

Oh, sure. Lots of companies
are looking for someone

to knock people down,

tear a ball from them
and run for daylight.

Maybe I should
give IBM a call, huh?

Remember, you have
a college education.

I majored in zone defense

with a minor in ripping
quarterback's faces off.

Oh. Claudette, I
don't have a future.

I don't even know
why you stay with me.

Uh, because Sidney Poitier
never made me an offer.

I'm serious, honey.

Well, I'm not.

Come on. Let's go eat.

You know what you are?

Yeah. One of the great chicks,

good looking, smart
and a dynamite kisser.

I wasn't going to say that.

- You weren't?
- No.

Well then what am I?

Adequate.

(theme music playing)

I have to dine with the
Captain and some guests,

but afterwards,
you and me, okay?

You're the doctor.

And I'll be back with
your prescription.

I didn't know we were
supposed to come in costume.

You're not, ma'am.

It's Spanish night
in the dining room.

Spanish night?

Could you make
an exception for me?

See, I'm not Spanish,
I'm German Irish.

But I'm very hungry.

For you, I'll make an exception.

So what brings you on
this cruise, little lady?

I'm looking for a husband.

Uh, very interesting.

Tell me more about that
fascinating worm farm of yours.

Oh. Sorry, I...

Oh, very delicate.
Very delicate.

Now Stephanie,
this is just a test

to see what your reactions
are to ordinary objects.

Uh, I'll use it as a comparison
when we get to the more

obviously sexual stimuli.

Ice cubes.

Minimal reaction.

Interesting.

Office keys,

reaction intensity 001.

Very interesting.

Why don't you try
the key to your cabin?

Well, what's the
difference? A key's a key.

Come on, Gopher. I'm starved.

Yeah. Me, too.

- Excuse me.
- Where are you going?

Any place but the
Captain's table.

See who's sitting there?

-Yeah, Virgil Plummer. Right.

He used to be a
terrific football player.

Yes, he did.

I kind of said the
wrong thing to him

when he got on the ship,

and now I'm kind of
worried that he might kind of

pull off my ears and
stuff 'em up my nose.

Apologize.

Vicki, I really don't want
to have to put a seashell

up to my nose every time
I want to hear the ocean.

Say you're sorry
and get it over with.

(sighs)

You're being childish.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I'll tell Doc to scrub up
and boil the instruments.

Excuse me.

Just kidding. Come on.

- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening.

Mr. Hummer, sir.

Yes?

Well, I just want to say
what a nice tan you have on.

Tuxedo! Excuse me.

(theme music playing)

(soft music playing)

I'll be right back.

Professor, this looks
like so much fun.

Well, for those people
perhaps but let's not forget.

We're here for science.

Couldn't we forget? I
mean, just for a little while?

Now Stephanie, where would
we be if Edison felt like that?

Alone in the dark?

Exactly.

Let's get your reactions
to music, shall we?

Okay, professor.

But I think my reactions
might be even greater

if I were dancing
instead of just listening.

Excellent idea.

Doctor, I hope this
wouldn't be an imposition.

Would you mind dancing
with Ms. Chapman?

Uh, mind? I'd be delighted.

Excuse me.

This is duty. Forgive me.

You'll come right
back, won't you?

Does Don Ho eat pineapple?

Dancing was a
marvelous idea my dear.

I'll monitor you from my cabin.

- Yes, but...
- Carry on, doctor.

Uh, this way.

All right, young lady.
It's time to get to bed.

Oh, do I have to?

Well, unless you want
me to get Virgil involved?

I'm going. I'm going.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Good night. Thank you.

Oh, honey. You
should smile more often.

At least he didn't
call me a has been.

I wonder who's
going to be the first.

You're really being silly.

Not a single person
said anything to you

about why you're not playing
anymore and nobody will.

A year ago, I couldn't
walk down the street

without someone
wanting an autograph.

Today, nothing.

Virgil, would you
mind signing this?

Who should I make it out to?

Uh, to the ship.
It's for your drinks.

You take care of it.
I'm going for a walk.

(soft music playing)

(beeping)

I must have misjudged Stephanie.

Poor girl shows an
absolutely inactive libido.

(theme music playing)

Well, hi.

Hi.

I just wasted two hours
without seeing an available man.

Where were you?

I think it's called
the boiler room.

I'm surprised people
don't hang out there.

It's real noisy.

- Mrs. Anderson.
- No. Call me Dottie.

Gee, I hope I haven't
left this till too late.

I thought about getting married.

I would have done
something about it, only

there always seemed to be
something good on television.

Dome, marriage
is a many big step.

It's not something you
want to just jump into.

Oh, I got to get married.

My birthday's the
day after tomorrow.

I usually just have
ice cream and cake.

I'll be 40 years old.

If I don't get married
before I'm 40,

I'm going to be an old maid.

Says who?

Julie, let me tell
you something.

You may not believe this, but

a man won't buy a cow

after the milk's
turned sour, huh?

My mother always
used to say that.

There are lots of
single women over 40.

Uh-huh. You see?
Nobody wanted a sour cow.

Dottie, that's not what I meant.

Anyway, I'll find a husband.

Oh, excuse me.

If you're not doing
anything tomorrow night,

would you like to get married?

Huh?

Well, you know, I don't
think I'm doing it right.

Maybe you're being too subtle.

Have you considered
using a blackjack?

Certainly not.

I don't want a husband
who's a gambler.

(dancing music playing)

What happened? Did
Don Ho switch to grapes?

Uh, Stephanie, could
we dance another time?

I'm keeping a lady waiting,
and she's not very happy about it.

Yeah. I know the feeling.

(saxophone solo)

For me?

Fresh from my garden.

Silly me.

I thought it was
from a hot house.

Come along and
judge for yourself.

Don't mind if I do.

Oh, hi Mrs. Plummer.

- Hi.
- Anything you need?

Well, now that
you mention it, yes.

I need help.

Want me to go get the doctor?

No. As a matter of fact,
the guy I'm looking for

is the bartender
with great big ears.

Ah, well, step into my office.

Listen...

Oh, so relaxing.

Mother Nature's tranquilizer.

Yeah.

It's kind of difficult
to stay tense

with a view like this.

Um. You know that's
one of the reasons

I talked Virgil into coming
on this cruise, but...

well, all he can think
about is his career.

He's taking it
kind of hard, huh?

It's not easy to go
from being a face on

the cover of Sports Illustrated
to being a face in the crowd.

Well, he must have known

that it was going to
happen sooner or later.

It's a tough adjustment.

He's upset. He's confused.

He's angry.

Oh.

As long as he doesn't
get angry with me.

He's one big dude.

Aw, he's a pussycat.

Don't worry.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah
That you, Claudette?

You better watch yourself.

Oh, well we weren't
doing anything.

We weren't doing
nothing, man. Not a thing.

I was just giving her a
lesson in, uh, mixology.

You know, making drinks like
that zombie I was talking about.

See what you do is you
pour the rums in real easy

and that way they
don't get all mixed up.

Of course, now you
take a perfect Rob Roy.

I meant... you
better watch yourself

so you don't catch a chill.

Oh.

That's what I thought you meant.

Well, uh, I got to be going.

Love your wife.

Oh, I didn't mean that.

I do mean that.

Later.

There are a lot of weird
people on this ship.

(theme music playing)

(machine beeping)

Good heavens!

Stephanie!

The doctor. What's
he doing with her?

That animal.

Dr. Brisker.
Where's Dr. Bricker'?

Doc, uh he's in
his cabin, I guess.

I might have guessed.

I don't think he
wants to be disturbed.

(knock on door)

Open up! Open up,
do you hear me?!

Professor Bridges, anybody sick?

Yes! You!

Stephanie, are you all right?

You... you're not Stephanie.

Oh, no sir.

But I will be if you say so.

That's my rose.

Yours?

Right.

Take it.

I'm sure it looks
much better on you.

Professor, why?

Uh, mistaken identity.

Carry on.

Well, there's a lot of
weird people on this ship.

- Uh, oh, oh.
- Oh, baby.

(theme music playing)

GOPHER ON P.A.: Good
morning, and welcome to Mazatlan.

We hope you'll enjoy your day.

(theme music playing)

So, how is our Mrs.
Anderson coming along

with a search for a husband?

Oh, not well.

I wish I could talk
some sense into her.

Oh, no.

Oh, she couldn't.

She couldn't!

How could she?

I thought she couldn't.
What's the problem?

This.

Help wanted, husband.

I am looking for a good husband.

Wedding is tonight.

If you are good and
kind and also a man,

apply two p.m., cabin
132, Fiesta Deck.

No experience necessary.

I guess that leaves
Doc off the hook.

With four weddings
to his credit,

he's definitely overqualified.

(theme music playing)

- Hi, Isaac.
- Hi.

- Want a donut hole?
- Say what?

A donut hole.

You know how donuts
have holes in the middle?

Well, this is what
used to be there.

- Where'd you get these?
- Mr. Plummer.

He baked them himself.

You mean, ah, whoa,
that Mr. Hummer?

Yep.

He says he bakes to relax.

Boy, some people would
sure get a big laugh out of that.

But I'm not one of 'em.

- See you later.
- Bye.

Oh, babe, I really don't
feel like going in town.

Why don't you take a tour
with the other passengers?

I'll just sit here and read.

Oh.

Well, okay. You're
bigger than I am.

Come on, Gopher. How
come you haven't changed?

We're supposed to be
leaving in five minutes!

I can't go ashore, I got to
do the monthly status reports.

I told the Captain
all work and no play.

He said, uh.

How about some and no play?

Why don't I go in town with you?

Um, will Virgil mind?

Virgil? Why should he mind?

Oh, I don't know.

But if there's the slightest
chance, please let me know

so I can increase
my life insurance

while I still have time.

(upbeat music playing)

(singing) ♪ Here
comes the bride ♪

♪ Here comes the bride
Here comes the bride ♪

♪ Here comes the bride ♪

Second verse same as the first.

(singing) ♪ Here comes... ♪

(knock on door)

Just a minute!

Um.

I'll be right there.

Oh.

Hi, sorry, but it's just me.

No. I'm glad it's you,
Julie. Come on in.

I was just wishing and hoping

maybe you'd be
bigger and hairier.

No. I'm on a low hormone diet.

Dottie, I wanted to
talk to you about the ad.

Isn't it a good idea?

This way I can let everybody
at once know I'm here.

Oh, everyone knows
you're here, all right.

Oh, anyway. I
checked into everything.

The reception's going to be
on the Lido Deck at ten o'clock.

Everyone's invited.

Dome,

why don't you just stop it?

You're not going
to find a husband

with a newspaper ad in one day.

No one's going to come.

I don't see why not.

It's still early,

and well, there are a
lot of nice men on board.

Oh, it's going to
work out just fine.

Um-hmm.

You really believe that?

Sure, I do.

I have to.

(slow theme music playing)

Well then I'll be seeing you.

At the reception, right?

Right.

(slow theme music playing)

(singing) ♪ Here comes... ♪

♪ The bride ♪

(lounge music playing)

Gee, Doc, you look real
macho in those dark glasses.

Thanks.

But you look super macho
with your mouth showing.

And speaking of macho,

that professor of yours
is some jealous guy.

But he really must
be nuts about you.

Oh, please. Don't even say that.

I mean, to him I'm just a
bunch of reactions on a graph.

Oh, but he didn't do this to me

because he thought I was
making love to some statistic.

He did that?

Yeah.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Well, depends on
how you look at it.

I look at it as macho.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it. He loves me.

Stephanie.

Oh, Doc just told me
everything, and I'm just...

I completely lost my head,

but I've done a lot
of thinking since then,

and I want you to
know that from now on,

things will be different.

Really?

I've been putting you together
with all the wrong people.

Right.

How can you be
stimulated by someone

you have no interest in?

- Right.
- What I've come up with...

is as plain as the
nose on my face.

I mean, it's been right there
in front of me all the time.

Right!

You should be with
somebody your own age.

Stan.

Oh!

I've got a hair appointment.

She's a very punctual person.

(knock on door)

Don't get too excited
about it. It's just Julie.

I'm sorry. You were right.

I should have listened to you.

You're not Julie.

I'm not?

What a time to tell me.

I didn't mean that.

See, what I meant was I
was expecting somebody else.

I'm Ricardo.

Ooh, you certainly are.

I'm here to pick up Dottie
Anderson and her fiancé

and bring them to the justice
of the peace to be married.

You're part of the
arrangements I made.

You are Dome Anderson, no?

How did you know?

Hey, senorita.

They're not many
women on the ship

who happen to be wearing
a wedding gown today,

only the one who
is to be married.

Yes?

One would think that.

Hey, there is a problem?

Your groom is not ready perhaps?

There isn't any.

Ricardo,

why don't you just make
yourself comfortable, hmm?

I want to talk to you
about this groom situation.

(theme music playing)

(horn blowing)

(upbeat music playing)

- I'm looking for my wife.
- I don't have her.

I... Isaac's got her. I mean,
what I mean to say is...

Isaac often takes other
men's wives to town.

I... I mean, uh, excuse me, sir.

Can you tell me
the way to my cabin?

No, huh? Well, I'll
just find it myself.

Excuse me.

Oh, wow, Isaac. I
had a perfect time.

Thank you so much. Hmm.

Oh, Virgil,

Isaac is the greatest.
Do you know what he did?

No, but I know what
he's going to do. Bleed.

Wait a minute. You're
getting this all wrong.

Yeah, I was just thanking
him for taking me into town.

And what went on in town?

Sightseeing.

And how do I know that?

Because I'm telling you.

And I expect you to believe me.

In fact, I was hoping later

after you're feeling
a little calmer,

that we might be able
to sit down over a drink

and discuss this thing

like two rational human beings.

Virgil!

He almost had me believing him.

One more word out of you,

I'm going to punch
your lights out!

(theme music playing)

P.A. ANNOUNCER:
Attention, please.

The ship will
depart in one hour.

(soft music playing)

Congratulations for what?

Oh, Dome Anderson,
uh, arranged a“ of this.

It's supposed to be
her wedding reception.

Oh.

Something seems to be missing.

Like the bride and groom?

I thought they were
required at weddings.

I'm afraid Mrs. Anderson

probably doesn't feel
like celebrating tonight.

It's sad to see innocent
illusions shattered.

Reminds me of my
first wedding night.

I need a drink.

Maybe Dottie should
go talk to Doc for a while.

Five minutes with him,

she wouldn't even
want to go steady.

(lounge music playing)

ISAAC: What'll it be, Doc?

Isaac?

ISAAC: Yeah.

Where are you?

Under the bar.

How do you know it's me?

Using a mirror.

Isn't that uncomfortable?

No.

Actually, it's not bad.

And you don't have to
wear a tie if you don't want to.

Oh, I presume you feel
this is the mature way

to handle the situation
with Virgil Plummer, huh?

Well, it may not be mature,

but at least I don't
have a black eye.

Maybe you should try it.

I'm getting great
mileage out of mine.

Uh, give me a
scotch rocks, will you?

Coming up.

Thanks.

Sure you don't want a double?

No. One handful
will do me just fine.

Have you seen Isaac?

No one has, but he's here.

Do yourself a favor.

Don't order a drink

if you don't have
a towel with you.

Isaac. It's Claudette.

ISAAC: Oh.

Is, uh, you know who there too?

No. I'm alone.

Now, come out.

He's not hiding
some place, is he?

No. He's... he's, uh,
in the kitchen baking.

Uh, Isaac,

would you talk to him?

Uh, I don't think so.

Look, he doesn't really believe

anything was going
on between us.

He's going through a rough
time, and he needs a friend.

I mean, a friend
who's not his wife.

Please?

Okay. I'll do it.

But only because
you're extremely pretty.

And I'm extremely dumb.

(soft music playing)

Who's he?

Just another guinea pig.

It's all in the
interest of science.

Doc is somewhat
of a scientist too.

He said he's going to
make me see shooting stars.

And that's just the beginning,
you know what I mean?

(beeping noise)

(beeping noise)

(theme music playing)

Captain,

maybe I should go
and talk with Dottie.

I'll bet she's miserable.

You'll embarrass her.

Maybe we should just act
like nothing ever happened.

That's going to be
extremely difficult.

It appears that something
definitely happened.

She got herself a hunk.

I don't understand,
but I think it's wonderful.

Captain, what time is it?

Uh, 10:30, Why?

Well, I was
wondering if it's too late

to get an ad in
tomorrow's Princess Patter.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Can I have one?

They're hot.

That's okay.

Did I mention they were hot?

Yeah, yeah. I believe you.

Listen, and I want
you to believe me.

Nothing happened
between your wife and me.

I know.

Hey.

You know what would
make these things really great

is chocolate sprinkles on top.

You want chocolate
sprinkles on top?

Um-hmm.

Stick 'em in your margarita.
What do you know about baking?

Hey, man. Wait a minute.

Did you know that I used to
be a cook for a lumber camp?

And I was a steel worker.

Also, I've drove a truck and
sold aluminum containers.

In fact,

I thought that I
was the greatest

aluminum container
salesman on the planet.

Man, I thought I was
going to work my way up

and become president.

Maybe even king of
aluminum containers.

What happened?

I got canned.

I felt pretty down
about it at the time,

but look at me now.

I love this ship, the
travel, the people.

Isaac, you're not very subtle.

Well, I didn't say I
was great at everything.

That's just the point, man.

You're jack of all trades.

And I'm jack of one game.

The only thing I
know is football.

Wait a minute. Come on now.

Hey, didn't you hear
about that guy in LA.

That was an agent or something
and baked chocolate chip cookies

in his spare time?

- So?
- So?

Listen, one day he got
tired of being an agent

and now he sells his
cookies all over the world.

He's a millionaire.

I can just see it now.

Famous Virgil Donut Holes.

Why not? It's a natural.

Hey, man, I bet you there'd
be a whole lot of investors

that would be dying to
get into a deal like this.

You're serious, huh?

Virgil, you could clean up

if... If What?

If you take the
advice of a real baker

and put chocolate
sprinkles on top of these.

- All right.
- All right.

Well, well, well, well.

Seems like things
are looking up here.

You know it.

Isaac, you tell
her. It's your idea.

Well...

Whatever it is, if
you made him happy,

you deserve a kiss.

Hold it right there.

If there's going to be
any kissing going on here,

I'm going to do it.

Hmm.

Wait until I tell you
what happened.

Does that mean you don't
want to hear my news first?

- Huh?
- The Tampa Bay Buccaneers...

have picked you up!

- What?
- Yeah!

Congratulations, Virgil!

Ah!

What the heck?

I can always make donut holes.

(theme music playing)

(dancing music playing)

Oh!

Is that for us?

They have good taste, no?

Oh, my.

You know, I've never
done that before in my life.

Oh you know, I've
danced with jackets,

but they've never had
an actual person inside.

Would you like some champagne?

- Yes, please.
- My pleasure.

If you'll excuse me,
I'll bring you a glass.

Dome, that is some dancing
you're doing out there.

Oh, hi Julie.

And some husband.

Oh. No, I didn't get married.

Well you sure got
a five star prospect.

Well, I don't think so.

He's good looking.

He's graceful. He's refined.

He's married.

Oops.

Yeah.

Ricardo was supposed to drive
me to the justice of the peace.

There just didn't
seem to be much point.

We just been talking.

I think he's trying
to cheer me up.

I think he's doing
a wonderful job.

Uh-huh.

-Oh -Hi.

Hello.

Excuse me.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

Tickles my nose. It really does.

You like champagne?

Well, I don't have
it all the time.

I'm afraid I must be
leaving very soon.

My wife has fixed
a little supper.

Hey!

A minute ago you
were smiling and gay.

Why does your flower
wilt so suddenly?

I'm sorry.

It's just that...

you've been so very nice to me.

I just wish it wouldn't end.

It was nice having
all these people

think I finally found someone.

Dot.

You are a star that will shine

whether I'm here
to watch it or not.

Wow.

Hmm.

That's much better.

Yeah.

Goodbye, Ricardo.

Thank you.

And remember,

what you believe of yourself,
the world will believe also.

(guitar solo)

Bye.

The world believes
I'm an old maid.

Excuse me.

Would you like to dance?

Me?

Really? Why?

Well, I've been noticing
how well you dance.

Oh.

Well, if that's the case,

let's give it a go, huh?

Look at that.

Suddenly, she's
the belle of the ball.

Last night, she was...

Last night, she was
ringing too loudly.

The men have a tendency to
shy away from wedding bells.

Hmm. Since when are
you such an expert on bells?

Oh, I rung a few
chimes in my day.

Oh, whew.

(upbeat music playing)

Well, Stephanie,
you're not dancing.

I'm tired of dancing.

In fact, I'm tired
of this whole thing.

Well, I'm not surprised.

Being with that young man
was just a waste of your time.

No kidding.

Well, how did I know the
stimulus indicator was broken?

It's either that or you've
got a hormone deficiency.

Does this look like a body
with a hormone deficiency?

Well? Does it?

Ah... no, no, no, it doesn't.

Maybe you've got
a worn out transistor

in your sensitivity reactor.

You know what you can do
with your sensitivity reactor?

I'll thank you not to mishandle
a valuable piece of equipment.

(beeping sound) Ooh!

Stephanie.

(loud beeping)

Stephanie, that's amazing.

Not to me.

(louder beeping)

Oh, gosh. I... I never dreamed

that anyone as lovely as...

(bleep)

(theme music playing)

Julie.

What?

I've got to ask you something.

Now, what's the difference

between a proposal
and a proposition?

Well, a proposal is when a man
wants to give you a wedding ring

and spend the rest
of his life with you,

and a proposition is
about the same thing

only without the ring
and for a weekend tops.

- Guess what?
- What?

I've been proposed to.

You have? It's just
what you wanted.

- When's the ceremony?
- Never.

What?

I said no.

Wait. I thought...

I thought you wanted
to be proposed to.

Well, sure, but I was also
propositioned five times.

You know, the way I figure
it, if I say yes to the proposal,

then I got to say no to
the propositions, right?

- Theoretically.
- Okay.

Then don't you figure
this proposition stuff

is a much better deal?

For now, I think so.

You can always
make a decision later.

Oh, I don't know about
that. You know something?

I have trouble buying
pantyhose. You know, all the kinds.

I don't know whether
to get demi toe,

full toe, sandal foot...

Julie, what time is it?

Um, two a.m.

Then it's tomorrow
already, right?

Sort of. Why?

(sighs) It's my birthday.

Oh. Congratulations.

I'm 40 years old.

Um-hmm.

Julie.

Do I look like an old maid?

Are you kidding?

You look like you're
just getting started.

(theme music playing)

I've been looking for you.

I just want to tell him
thanks for a nice cruise.

Tell him if he ever comes to.

Well, see you,
Isaac. You're the best.

Thank you, Mrs. Hummer.

Good luck, Virgil.

Thanks.

Is he gone yet?

I think I should warn
you I break very easily.

- See you later.
- Bye-bye.

So long.

I really want to thank
both of you for everything.

Bye Mel.

See you, Dennis.

Oh, you certainly
made a lot of friends.

You know, it's like

I suddenly got somebody
else's life by mistake.

I think you finally
found your own.

Oh, Captain. I almost forgot.

I want you to have
my bridal bouquet.

That's very nice of you, but
I think Julie should have it.

Oh no. If Julie gets
the bridal bouquet,

that means she's going
to get married soon,

and boy, I don't want
to spoil all her fun.

What about my fun?

I hope you enjoyed your cruise.

Bye-bye.

Well, it's been a very
eye opening cruise.

Uh, eye closing too.

Sorry about that.

No hard feelings.

Best of luck on your textbook.

Oh, he won't be
finishing that for a while.

First, we're going to
collaborate on a new book,

a marriage manual.

Hmm.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

What's a marriage manual?

Uh, it's a book people study

so they'll be good at marriage.

Oh.

My place, seven o'clock.

Oh, Doc is going to help
me with my homework.

What are you studying?

Um... Is it one of those
marriage manuals?

It is. Isn't it?

Captain Merrill, Julie,
Isaac, Gopher, guess what?

Doc's getting married again.

(theme music playing)

(theme music playing)