The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 2, Episode 24 - Ages of Man/Bo 'n Sam/Families - full transcript
( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
( majestic theme playing)
It isn't here yet.
Oh, we should've known better
than to trust Gopher and Isaac.
Oh, hey, here they are.
Hey, where's the gift?
Shh! Not so loud.
You'll blow the
captain's surprise.
Gopher, he already knows
we're gonna give him something.
He's dropped enough
hints about this being
his fifth year as
captain of the ship.
I think he went a little too far
putting it on the
Goodyear blimp.
Well, he doesn't know
that we're getting him
a perfect replica
of his own ship
made out of 16,842 matchsticks.
Boy, I hope he doesn't
already have one.
Where is it? Shh!
It's on the way.
MAN: Just keep going, keep
going. No, straight ahead.
Heads up, folks, we're coming
through. Valuable cargo here.
No, to your left. No,
not my left, your left.
Now back. Please,
excuse me. Excuse me.
Thank you. All right.
Excuse me.
Easy, easy, easy.
Easy, there we go.
Well, how is it
going, shipmates?
Fine, sir. ( all
speaking indistinctly)
Good.
Another routine
cruise coming up.
Right. Nothing
special about this one.
Right. Right, just
another cruise.
It's funny, you do so
many, you lose track.
How many years has it been?
Two, three, four?
Five.
Is it five?
Really?
It's amazing how these
things sneak up on you.
Huh. I guess it's time
to get back to work.
Do you have 12 after?
It's uh, 20 after. Twenty after.
You're probably
running a little behind.
That's not good.
If there's one thing the
captain of a ship should have,
it's an accurate watch.
It's essential.
It's important.
You see, he wanted a new watch.
You're just guessing.
JULIE: Hi. Welcome aboard.
Hi.
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Jeff?
Jeff Cross?
Diana?
I haven't seen you...
I haven't seen you...
Well, let me look at you.
Whoa, you turned out gorgeous.
Oh, well, you didn't
turn out too bad yourself.
You always did have
a way with words.
Still writing? Are you kidding?
You are looking
at the newest writer
of the Briscoe City Journal.
You work for my father?
Mm, he was publisher
last time I checked, yeah.
Oh, boy. He doesn't
tell me anything.
Come on, let's go give
him a piece of my mind.
Well, what?
You mean he's here?
I see he doesn't tell
you anything either.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong?
I'm travelling with my mother.
Oh, no.
Hank Hardaway and
Monica Cross on the
same ship. Same ship. Yeah.
And the Titanic
thought they had trouble.
And three days on the same
ship with Hank Hardaway
will knock the hell out of
the term "pleasure cruise."
Monica, I'm here on a holiday.
I don't want to talk
about my newspaper
and I do not want to
talk about your union.
It's not my union.
I'm just their lawyer.
Well, it is my newspaper.
Look, your workers
want to organize.
If you keep stalling, you'll
end up with a walkout.
That's our cue. What?
Let's walk out.
Any more delay will have
serious consequences.
Monica, I do not want
to talk about it anymore.
Sure. Because
you're in the wrong.
In the wrong? No,
I'm just in a hurry.
It's just right through
those double doors, sir.
Welcome aboard, sir.
Oh! Oh, I'll get it.
Here you are.
Thanks. You're welcome.
I'm, uh, Walter Barrish.
Hi.
Hi. Can you tell me
where my cabin is?
WALTER: I'm in A-350.
It's up those
stairs, hang a right.
Thanks.
Thank you.
I... I thought maybe
you might need someone
to show you where your cabin is?
Well, thank you, but
I think I can manage.
Dinner? I beg your pardon?
Uh, you're travelling alone
and you'll need a
dinner companion.
I can arrange that.
Well, I... Oh, it's
part of my job.
WALTER: Oh.
Well, in that case...
Shall we say 7?
You'll be my dinner companion?
Why, I'd love to.
I'd be delighted.
Well, till 7 then.
Whew!
Too pushy?
I've seen daintier muggings.
I'd be interested in seeing
your Digiplot computer,
if you have the time.
Well, you seem to
know a lot about our ship.
Yes. Ships were my
hobby when I was a kid.
Oh. Oh, Miss McCoy.
Oh, captain. Yes, sir.
I'd like to have you
meet Bobby Tryman.
His father is the
director of the line.
Well, how do you
do, Bobby? Hello.
Since you're travelling alone,
I've asked Miss McCoy to,
uh, kind of keep an eye on you.
Don't go to any trouble.
Oh, it's no trouble at all.
I'm looking forward
to being with you.
We're gonna have
a lot of fun together.
Thank you, Miss McCoy.
It's Julie.
Hm. You certainly know how
to put a passenger at ease.
Well, thank you. I've
got to get back to work.
Bye-bye. Ciao, Julie.
She's lovely. Yes, she is.
Tell me, is she married?
Wasn't this Gopher fella
supposed to meet us on deck?
What are we doing
down here, huh, Bo?
Because we have
to avoid the captain.
This is a surprise
for him, remember?
Oh, yeah, right.
MAN: Captain Stubing?
Oh, no. Back.
MAN: Captain Stubing?
Captain: Yes?
MAN: Can I talk
to you for a minute?
CAPTAIN: Later, Riley,
I'm on my way to the bridge.
I said "back."
What are you talking
about? I went back.
Not to your back.
If I wanted you
to go to your back,
I would have said "forward."
Now, look what you did.
Bo, I'm sorry. I was trying.
I mean, look, we just
need a little glue will fix it.
I'm telling you. It's okay, Bo.
( majestic theme playing)
MAN ( over PA):
All visitors ashore.
All visitors ashore,
please. All visitors ashore.
Fine thing, guys.
Five minutes to sailing time
and the gift isn't here yet.
May I help you?
Uh, yeah, we're,
uh, supposed to...
The captain's gift! Is this it?
All right, terrific.
Thanks, you guys.
I didn't think you were gonna
make it in time. Okay.
Now you guys are gonna see
what a great present this is.
Show it. Okay, let's see.
Is that a work of
art, or isn't it, huh?
Words can't describe it, huh?
( comic theme playing)
( ship horn blows)
( majestic theme playing)
( knocking on door)
Come in.
Are you unpacking
or just trying to crack
the starch in your shirts?
That Monica Cross has
done this on purpose.
She's followed me here to
catch me with my defenses down.
Oh, Come on, Daddy.
She's just here to relax.
Given the chance,
that woman would try
to organize the Vatican.
Monica cares about people.
She believes in the union
and what it stands for.
Whose side are you on, anyway?
Monica's.
Hm-mm.
I get a grey hair every
time I talk to that man.
Well, I think he's a
terrific boss. I like him.
Hm. Hank Hardaway can make
"good morning" sound like an argument.
Mother, why don't you forget
all this and enjoy the vacation?
Why shouldn't his employees
have the benefit
of a... Of a union?
Doesn't this man know
it's the 20th century?
Well, before it becomes
the 21st century,
what do you say we get some sun?
I'll see you.
Okay.
So tell me everything about you.
I've told you everything,
except maybe my
grandmother's middle name:
Myrtle.
Isn't that awful?
It's a lovely name.
Tell me something about you.
Well, there's not much to tell.
When I finish eighth grade
I'll be going off to Choate.
Eighth grade?
How old are you?
Thirteen.
Would you like some lemonade?
I'd love some.
Say no more.
Oh, where were
you when I was 13?
( romantic theme playing)
Walter? Uh, Mr. Barrish?
Hi.
Hi. It is okay if I call
you Walter, isn't it?
I mean, please, call me Julie.
Sure, Julie.
Well, uh, did you
want to talk to me?
What? Oh, no.
I just wanted to say hello.
Oh. Well, hello.
I think I'll go try my hand
at some skeet shooting.
Who was that older
gentleman? Who?
Ah, just a passenger.
Hm.
You built this ship.
You broke this ship.
Now you're gonna fix this ship.
We're not licensed to
work outside the country.
Look, we've already set
sail. You're stuck here.
So why don't you
just do us this favor?
Fix the ship.
Well...
CAPTAIN: Gopher?
Shh!
Captain!
Just the man we've
been looking for.
What's going on in there?
Nothing. Nothing. Oh, nothing.
Now, what are
you all doing here?
ALL: Uh...
Well, you got us cold.
No use hiding it anymore.
We were just planning a party
for your fifth anniversary
tomorrow night.
Yes. A party?
Yes. For me?
Yes. Well, that never
entered my mind.
But, uh, here's a list of people
you might think of inviting.
Ah, parents, huh?
You said it.
Come on. Last one
in is a rotten egg.
Huh, what's that?
No, signature.
Walter, you're a
man of mystery too.
( majestic theme playing)
Hi, Julie. Oh, hi, Bobby.
Oh, you look beautiful.
Oh, the flowers suit you.
Oh, thank you.
I kind of thought
you'd like roses.
I've gotten us a table.
Oh!
Thank you.
So where were we?
( jazz theme playing)
I never even knew you
had a sense of humor.
I never knew you
knew I was alive.
Oh, you knew. I know you knew.
Yeah, but I didn't know
you knew I knew you knew.
What happened to you?
You used to be so stuffy.
Stuffy?
Well, yeah, conservative,
like my father.
I always thought
it was kind of cute.
Mother. Hello, dear.
You look lovely. Thank you.
Diana, hello. Hi.
I see you're expecting
someone else.
Yeah, yeah, we are.
We kind of thought that you
and Mr. Hardaway could, sort of...
I think I'm going to leave
you two lovebirds to yourself.
I think I'll split.
What's the use? Well, we tried.
I thought your mother
would have given it a chance.
What, are you kidding?
And sacrifice her principles?
At least your dad
would make an effort.
So much for my dad's effort.
You're not only the most
beautiful woman aboard,
but you're definitely
the most charming.
I haven't said three
intelligent words all evening.
That's not true.
But what I don't understand is
why you're having dinner with me
when there's so many
good-looking younger men around.
Well, sometimes age is a plus.
It is with wine.
Well, I'd hate to tell you
what year I was bottled.
That man with Julie,
isn't he a little
bit too old for her?
Well, she's a cruise director.
It's part of her
job to socialize.
She's beautiful.
You seem to be very
fond of Miss McCoy.
Fond of her? I'm
in love with her.
( majestic theme playing)
( soft music playing)
Are you sure you
wouldn't rather be dancing?
I couldn't go home
after this cruise,
unless I'd stood in the
moonlight with a handsome man.
No, come on, no joking.
Who's joking?
Hey, Sam? Yeah?
Listen.
( disco music playing)
You hear anything?
Yeah, you humming.
No, not me. There's music.
People having a good time.
Oh, I wanna dance.
In a second. Just let
me finish this piece.
No, not with you.
I wanna go up on deck
and have some fun.
But no, no. We're
stuck down here
playing with matches.
Yeah, well, we did
break their model.
Oh, no. We did not
break their model. You did.
Me? You.
Sam, Sam, Sam.
I'm telling you this
for your own good,
because if one is not able
to assume responsibilities
for one's actions, one will
never become a mature citizen.
Now, who broke the model?
I did?
Now, that's mature.
Yeah, but it was your fault.
( groans)
Oh, that's the last hairpin.
I'm gonna need a
lot more to finish.
Oh, great! Now I finally have
a reason to get out of here.
Look, I'll go get us some.
Why should you go?
Because you're working.
Yeah, and I've
been working all day.
I'll tell you the truth,
Bo. I'm a little tired.
Okay, okay, okay.
I sense a little snit coming on.
So we'll flip for it, all right?
Okay. Winner goes.
You got it. Call it.
Heads.
Okay, that's one for you.
Wait, wait. What do
you mean, one for me?
We always play one
wins. I won. I'm going.
Well, you're right. You won.
And I never won before.
Go. Have a good time.
Oh, Sam.
Don't worry about me.
Look, Bo, why don't you go
instead? I know you want to.
Oh, no. You won fair and
square. You deserve it.
No, it's okay pal.
You go. Really.
Uh-uh, no. You've been
working hard all day.
No, I want you to go.
No, definitely not. I
wouldn't think of it.
Bo, I'm begging you.
Why don't you go?
I mean, I'm a mature
person, I broke the model.
You go, please. No. Okay, okay.
I'll go.
But this is the last time
I'm doing your dirty work.
Thanks, man.
Hey, Sam, why don't
you come with me?
You mean it, Bo?
Yeah, sure.
♪ Dancing, dancing ♪
♪ Dancing ♪
May I?
Of course.
Hey, we can't go in
there dressed like this.
Yeah, you're right. Let's
go back and change.
Into what?
Come on.
Here you are, sir. Have
a nice evening now.
Oh, thank you.
( clears throat)
Say, you got my clothes there?
Name's Haggerty.
Let me check. Just a minute.
Yes, sir. Right, here we are.
Haggerty. Well, where you been?
I've been waiting all night.
Well, it says deliver
by 9 p.m., right there.
Not 9, 6.
With service like this, I
hope you don't expect a tip.
( sighs)
Pretty lively crowd for, uh,
two in the morning.
It's 10:30.
10:30?
This old watch
has really had it.
( upbeat music playing)
She must have a thousand
hairpins in that mop.
Watch this.
What a move.
Oh, hi, Julie. Hi.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Oh, we need hairpins.
What?
Now you can go back
and have fun fixing the model.
Oh, and don't worry about me.
I'll try and stick
it out down here
for another hour or so.
See you later, buddy.
What a guy.
( majestic theme playing)
Oh, she's really
easy to talk to,
you know, she laughs a lot.
And she's impulsive and direct
and intelligent and beautiful.
As a matter of fact,
she's a lot like you.
Oh!
( both laughing)
Daddy, you can't believe
how wonderful I feel.
Wonderful as the Dickens.
Bigger. Wonderful as heck.
Right. And you wanna know why?
Because you're walking out here
in the moonlight
with your old man.
Oh, well, yeah. But also,
I'm in love with Jeff.
Do you think he'd consider
coming to the wedding
without his mother?
( harp theme playing)
Hi.
We're gonna have to
stop meeting like this.
( majestic theme playing)
Good morning, Isaac.
Good morning.
Julie, what are you
doing up so early?
I have a date for breakfast.
Ah, Walter Barrish.
No. Bobby Tryman.
I thought Mr. B was
at the top of your list?
Well, he is pretty special.
ISAAC: There is quite a
difference in your ages.
So?
ISAAC: Oh, sorry.
I mean, the way he dances
and the way he carries himself.
Well, he has "gentleman"
written all over him.
Hey, well, listen,
who am I to argue with love.
Ah! Ah!
Good morning.
Oh, good morning,
Bobby. Did you sleep well?
I dreamed about you.
Did you think of me at all?
Well, I don't get up at 8 in
the morning for just anybody.
I brought my backgammon
board. Do you play?
Mm-hm. You can't
be a cruise director
and not play backgammon.
Shall we play first
or eat first, darling?
Did we glow like that
when we were their age?
I did.
How about a truce?
For their sakes.
Frankly, I wouldn't
mind one for my sake.
Here you are. I'm sorry.
About what?
Well, that I haven't been able
to spend more time with you.
Oh.
Well, uh, this is not
exactly a vacation for you.
Aren't you are a pleasure?
Me? Yes.
You're undemanding,
understanding,
and a very good kisser too.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Would you like this
ship to go faster?
Or the sun to shine brighter?
Or maybe something
a little more personal?
Good morning.
Oh, excuse me, have
you met our captain?
No, I haven't.
Captain Merrill Stubing,
this is Walter Barrish.
Mr. Barrish, it's a
pleasure. How do you do?
Talk to you for a
moment, Miss McCoy?
Oh, certainly, sir.
Excuse us, Mr. Barrish.
I'll, uh, see you later.
Yes, sir?
About Bobby Tryman.
Oh, he's a wonderful
kid, isn't he?
I just love him.
Unfortunately, he feels
the same way about you.
He's really got a crush.
Well, isn't that cute?
It's not cute to
him. It's important.
Well, he'll get over it, sir.
Oh, sure.
Like I got over Miss
Breem in the seventh grade.
It took months.
Believe me, I suffered.
Have a talk with
him, will you, Julie?
And don't do what
Miss Breem did.
Don't say "dismissed."
Okay, sir.
Mr. Gopher.
ALL: Ta-da!
Well, we did it.
Pins. Needles.
Shakespeare. Longfellow.
( vibrating noise) What's that?
Oh, He told me it'd
be finished on time.
We're right on schedule.
All right. I don't want
anything to happen this time.
Let's move this to
a nice, safe place.
Yeah, someplace where
the captain won't find it.
Right. Are you kidding?
Name one place on this
ship the captain doesn't go.
Barber shop.
( all speaking indistinctly)
Come on. Take it easy. Easy.
Okay. Elevator's
this way. Let's go.
MAN ( over PA): Assistant Purser
Smith, to the Radio Room, please.
Oh, darn it. All right, listen.
The barber shop is two
decks down, across the lobby.
Make certain that nobody
sees you, especially the captain.
No sweat.
Why do those two words
always make me sweat?
( soft theme playing)
Ah!
I don't believe it.
You killed me again.
I'm not playing any
more games with you.
Oh, come on. One more, please.
Please, please. Okay. Okay.
How do you think
our folks are doing?
Well, if they're
burying the hatchet,
it's about time. Heh, yeah.
As long as they're not
burying it in each other.
Well, my dad knows darn
well a union's inevitable.
Why doesn't he just
make it easy on himself
and tell your
mother to go ahead?
Well, it wouldn't be inevitable
if my mother wasn't trying to
put another notch in her gun.
Oh, come on. My dad's
just being stubborn.
He's completely out of date.
Listen, it's guys
like your father
who made this
country what it is today.
Men who built things
with their hands.
He's just trying to
protect what's his.
And what about his employees?
Who's going to protect them?
Look, I'm one of his employees.
He already pays
us over union scale.
Well, fine, but what
about job security,
health insurance,
cost of living increases?
What are you, the
voice of the people?
You're beginning to
sound like my mother.
Well, your mother happens to be
concerned with
other human beings.
How she happened to raise a son
who's somewhere to the right
of Genghis Khan is beyond me.
Well, what about your father?
He ended up with somebody
blind, deaf and pretty dumb.
Well, I think that Jeff will
be very good for Diana.
She needs somebody
with a strong hand.
Ah, It'll be great to
have a nice sensitive girl
like Diana for a
daughter-in-law.
Daughter-in-law. Hm?
Daughter-in-law? Son-in-law?
What does that make us?
Strange bedfellows?
( both laughing)
It must be this ocean air.
I actually thought I
was attracted to you.
Well, don't take it so
hard, I thought I was in love.
Love? Yeah, we
all make mistakes.
Yeah, and mine was a dilly.
Enjoying your honeymoon?
( mysterious theme playing)
Oh, Anderson?
Yes, captain?
Get down. Get down.
Maybe there's two of them.
Two what? Captains.
Yeah? No.
No problem, sir.
Thank you, Anderson.
I appreciate it.
Oh, no. Get down.
Get in here.
( soft theme playing)
Bobby, you do
understand, don't you?
I mean, it's just that you
have so much ahead of you:
high school, college,
your first love.
Oh, I'm not putting
this very well, am I?
Well, it's just that I've already
experienced those things
and you've got them
all to look forward to.
I'd give it all up for you.
And we could go away together.
I don't think so.
But I would like to
be your friend, Bobby.
We can write to each other.
Great,
I thought I found
the girl of my dreams
and I end up with a pen pal.
You know something,
Bobby? You're terrific.
If you'll excuse me,
I think I need some time alone.
Okay.
( soft theme playing)
Why are they
throwing it all away?
Jeff can be so unbending.
Well, maybe he
comes by it honestly.
Oh, was that a
crack? If the crack fits.
No, I think that
Jeff is not at fault.
It's Diana with all of
her harebrained ideas.
Diana? Oh, I wish everyone
was so passionately
involved with life.
Monica, life is not
like that. It's hard work.
It's putting one foot
in front of the other.
You make it sound like an orgy.
And you make it
sound dull, as in boring.
Oh.
Am I boring you?
In a word:
Yes. Was that a crack?
It's no use.
Let's go. The
party's about to start.
No, no! Fellas,
please keep trying.
The captain doesn't open
his presents until 10:30.
In half an hour?
Impossible. Please.
Gopher, forget it. They
would if they could, huh?
GOPHER: You're right.
Thanks anyway, guys.
What about a gift
for the captain?
Well, after the party
we'll just have to tell
him what happened.
Thank you. We appreciate it.
( all speaking indistinctly)
I feel terrible, Bo.
I wish there was
something we could do.
Yeah, I know.
They're such nice
people. Real friends.
They went to a lot of
trouble for their captain.
Yeah.
Sam,
set your alarm for 10:30
and let's get to work.
What? Just go ahead and set it.
Well, what can we
do in half an hour?
Build half a ship.
Match.
Glue.
Brush.
( soft theme playing)
( upbeat music playing)
Two brandies.
Look at them. Two of a kind.
Solid citizens.
Yeah. The Robber
Baron and his protégé.
Who needs them?
The Robber Baron?
Don't you think
that's a bit rough?
Who ever let those
two out of the kitchen
didn't realize what they
were unleashing on the world.
( chuckles)
HANK: I don't know.
I like a woman who
talks of something
other than simplicity patterns.
You know, your
father's not really so bad.
In fact, I considered him
something of a challenge.
But I thought you
hated each other.
Oh, we, uh, we disagree
about practically everything,
but, uh, underneath it all
we sort of like each other.
Always have.
In fact, Hank reminds
me of my late husband.
Now, if you wanted
to hear fighting...
You know, she
puts up a good fight.
Make a fine politician.
Not of course, that
I'd ever vote for her.
Now wait a minute, wait
a minute. Didn't you...
You know, Jeff, uh,
I could talk about your
mother all night but, uh...
I think I'm gonna
ask her for a dance.
( piano playing softly)
They're terrific kids.
Is that a crack?
This gift, captain, is
from all us stewards.
Anderson, I want to thank
you and all the stewards
for your thoughtfulness
and generosity.
Not to mention,
your originality.
If I get one more gift
shaped like a ship...
What do you think,
Bo? I think it shrunk.
Think anybody will notice?
Ah, it's a party. The
lights will be low.
Just one last piece.
Got it.
Now, don't break it
taking your hand out.
Take it easy.
Hey, don't get me
nervous. I'm trying.
So, let's go.
Bo, why don't you carry it?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll get the door.
From the kitchen staff, captain,
a ship-shaped
chocolate-chip cake.
Thank you.
Congratulations, captain.
Uh, what is this?
And who are they?
I'll explain them later, sir.
This is for you, captain.
From Gopher,
Isaac, Julie and Doc.
Uh, thank you, Gopher,
Isaac, Julie and Doc.
I've, uh, never seen
anything like this before.
It's uh... It's... (
whirring noise)
Is that what I think it is?
You people.
You did it, didn't you?
Well, sir...
Now, how do you
get this thing open?
There it is.
Nice going.
The watch I gave you.
My watch. It's just what
I wanted. It's beautiful.
Oh, and this gift
box is very clever.
Oh, it's inscribed.
"A friend for all time."
I'm a lucky man.
I'll treasure this always.
Well, yes, sir.
But before you put
the watch on, uh-
The thing about this watch
is... I mean this watch is...
This is not your ordinary
watch, uh, captain, uh...
They must really love you a lot
to give you a
gift like that, sir.
Would you? Oh, yes, sir.
Thank you.
How did you ever know?
You know, Walter,
I was thinking. I
have a week off.
Maybe we could
spend it together.
We could go to the beach.
Oh, hi, Bobby. Hi.
I really feel like a
rat about Bobby.
I mean, I broke his heart.
Julie, letting somebody
down is never easy,
but sometimes it has to be done.
Oh, but he's only 13 years old.
How old are you?
I'm 25.
That old?
Walter, I'm a woman.
He's a child.
Julie.
I have a daughter,
28 years old. Walter.
A son, 26 and another one, 24.
By the time I was your age,
I was already
married three years.
Please don't.
I'm sorry, Julie.
This is not easy.
Believe me.
You don't have to tell me.
I wrote the script.
Well, we can always
be... Be friends.
Please, please.
I'm sorry.
You okay?
Me?
Oh, yeah. I'm just fine.
It's not nice to
lie to a pen pal.
Would you like to dance
the last dance with me?
Sure. What are friends for?
( soft theme playing)
Well, how about in a church?
I was thinking outdoors.
I think I want a
minister... With a judge.
How about gowns and tuxedos...
And come-as-you-are.
Monica, it's been
a wonderful cruise.
Oh, it certainly has, Hank.
I've enjoyed every minute.
I'll see you on Monday?
Mm-hm. Across
the negotiating table.
I was thinking Monday night.
Oh!
Thank you, and
here is my address.
Now I'm gonna try to
write to you every day.
Well, let's not go overboard.
Oh, Bobby Tryman,
you're the best.
Au revoir, Julie.
Oh. Au revoir.
Julie.
Oh, Walter. Goodbye.
Goodbye. I'm
glad we met, friend.
So am I, friend.
Listen, you guys,
thank you for everything.
Hey. I'm sorry about your watch.
Oh, that's okay.
Bo said he's gonna buy
me another one. Right, Bo?
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
It'll take about six months.
Six months? Sure.
Hey, it takes a long time to
save up that many box tops.
( all laughing)
Well, call us again.
We go anywhere.
We do anything. Yeah, we know.
This watch is fantastic.
It's an alarm, a stopwatch.
It tells the time, the
date, the day, the month.
STUBING: It's fabulous.
Well, we're glad
you like it, sir.
Yes. And I've never even
heard of this make before:
Crunchies.
It sounds like a cereal.
Ah, well, I believe
that's French, sir:
"crunshay."
"Crunshay."
( majestic theme playing)
Love Boat" playing)
♪ Love ♪
♪ Exciting and new ♪
♪ Come aboard ♪
♪ We're expecting you ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ Let it flow ♪
♪ It floats back to you ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
♪ The Love Boat ♪
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ And love ♪
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ It's an open smile ♪
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
♪ It's love ♪
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
( majestic theme playing)
It isn't here yet.
Oh, we should've known better
than to trust Gopher and Isaac.
Oh, hey, here they are.
Hey, where's the gift?
Shh! Not so loud.
You'll blow the
captain's surprise.
Gopher, he already knows
we're gonna give him something.
He's dropped enough
hints about this being
his fifth year as
captain of the ship.
I think he went a little too far
putting it on the
Goodyear blimp.
Well, he doesn't know
that we're getting him
a perfect replica
of his own ship
made out of 16,842 matchsticks.
Boy, I hope he doesn't
already have one.
Where is it? Shh!
It's on the way.
MAN: Just keep going, keep
going. No, straight ahead.
Heads up, folks, we're coming
through. Valuable cargo here.
No, to your left. No,
not my left, your left.
Now back. Please,
excuse me. Excuse me.
Thank you. All right.
Excuse me.
Easy, easy, easy.
Easy, there we go.
Well, how is it
going, shipmates?
Fine, sir. ( all
speaking indistinctly)
Good.
Another routine
cruise coming up.
Right. Nothing
special about this one.
Right. Right, just
another cruise.
It's funny, you do so
many, you lose track.
How many years has it been?
Two, three, four?
Five.
Is it five?
Really?
It's amazing how these
things sneak up on you.
Huh. I guess it's time
to get back to work.
Do you have 12 after?
It's uh, 20 after. Twenty after.
You're probably
running a little behind.
That's not good.
If there's one thing the
captain of a ship should have,
it's an accurate watch.
It's essential.
It's important.
You see, he wanted a new watch.
You're just guessing.
JULIE: Hi. Welcome aboard.
Hi.
Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Jeff?
Jeff Cross?
Diana?
I haven't seen you...
I haven't seen you...
Well, let me look at you.
Whoa, you turned out gorgeous.
Oh, well, you didn't
turn out too bad yourself.
You always did have
a way with words.
Still writing? Are you kidding?
You are looking
at the newest writer
of the Briscoe City Journal.
You work for my father?
Mm, he was publisher
last time I checked, yeah.
Oh, boy. He doesn't
tell me anything.
Come on, let's go give
him a piece of my mind.
Well, what?
You mean he's here?
I see he doesn't tell
you anything either.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong?
I'm travelling with my mother.
Oh, no.
Hank Hardaway and
Monica Cross on the
same ship. Same ship. Yeah.
And the Titanic
thought they had trouble.
And three days on the same
ship with Hank Hardaway
will knock the hell out of
the term "pleasure cruise."
Monica, I'm here on a holiday.
I don't want to talk
about my newspaper
and I do not want to
talk about your union.
It's not my union.
I'm just their lawyer.
Well, it is my newspaper.
Look, your workers
want to organize.
If you keep stalling, you'll
end up with a walkout.
That's our cue. What?
Let's walk out.
Any more delay will have
serious consequences.
Monica, I do not want
to talk about it anymore.
Sure. Because
you're in the wrong.
In the wrong? No,
I'm just in a hurry.
It's just right through
those double doors, sir.
Welcome aboard, sir.
Oh! Oh, I'll get it.
Here you are.
Thanks. You're welcome.
I'm, uh, Walter Barrish.
Hi.
Hi. Can you tell me
where my cabin is?
WALTER: I'm in A-350.
It's up those
stairs, hang a right.
Thanks.
Thank you.
I... I thought maybe
you might need someone
to show you where your cabin is?
Well, thank you, but
I think I can manage.
Dinner? I beg your pardon?
Uh, you're travelling alone
and you'll need a
dinner companion.
I can arrange that.
Well, I... Oh, it's
part of my job.
WALTER: Oh.
Well, in that case...
Shall we say 7?
You'll be my dinner companion?
Why, I'd love to.
I'd be delighted.
Well, till 7 then.
Whew!
Too pushy?
I've seen daintier muggings.
I'd be interested in seeing
your Digiplot computer,
if you have the time.
Well, you seem to
know a lot about our ship.
Yes. Ships were my
hobby when I was a kid.
Oh. Oh, Miss McCoy.
Oh, captain. Yes, sir.
I'd like to have you
meet Bobby Tryman.
His father is the
director of the line.
Well, how do you
do, Bobby? Hello.
Since you're travelling alone,
I've asked Miss McCoy to,
uh, kind of keep an eye on you.
Don't go to any trouble.
Oh, it's no trouble at all.
I'm looking forward
to being with you.
We're gonna have
a lot of fun together.
Thank you, Miss McCoy.
It's Julie.
Hm. You certainly know how
to put a passenger at ease.
Well, thank you. I've
got to get back to work.
Bye-bye. Ciao, Julie.
She's lovely. Yes, she is.
Tell me, is she married?
Wasn't this Gopher fella
supposed to meet us on deck?
What are we doing
down here, huh, Bo?
Because we have
to avoid the captain.
This is a surprise
for him, remember?
Oh, yeah, right.
MAN: Captain Stubing?
Oh, no. Back.
MAN: Captain Stubing?
Captain: Yes?
MAN: Can I talk
to you for a minute?
CAPTAIN: Later, Riley,
I'm on my way to the bridge.
I said "back."
What are you talking
about? I went back.
Not to your back.
If I wanted you
to go to your back,
I would have said "forward."
Now, look what you did.
Bo, I'm sorry. I was trying.
I mean, look, we just
need a little glue will fix it.
I'm telling you. It's okay, Bo.
( majestic theme playing)
MAN ( over PA):
All visitors ashore.
All visitors ashore,
please. All visitors ashore.
Fine thing, guys.
Five minutes to sailing time
and the gift isn't here yet.
May I help you?
Uh, yeah, we're,
uh, supposed to...
The captain's gift! Is this it?
All right, terrific.
Thanks, you guys.
I didn't think you were gonna
make it in time. Okay.
Now you guys are gonna see
what a great present this is.
Show it. Okay, let's see.
Is that a work of
art, or isn't it, huh?
Words can't describe it, huh?
( comic theme playing)
( ship horn blows)
( majestic theme playing)
( knocking on door)
Come in.
Are you unpacking
or just trying to crack
the starch in your shirts?
That Monica Cross has
done this on purpose.
She's followed me here to
catch me with my defenses down.
Oh, Come on, Daddy.
She's just here to relax.
Given the chance,
that woman would try
to organize the Vatican.
Monica cares about people.
She believes in the union
and what it stands for.
Whose side are you on, anyway?
Monica's.
Hm-mm.
I get a grey hair every
time I talk to that man.
Well, I think he's a
terrific boss. I like him.
Hm. Hank Hardaway can make
"good morning" sound like an argument.
Mother, why don't you forget
all this and enjoy the vacation?
Why shouldn't his employees
have the benefit
of a... Of a union?
Doesn't this man know
it's the 20th century?
Well, before it becomes
the 21st century,
what do you say we get some sun?
I'll see you.
Okay.
So tell me everything about you.
I've told you everything,
except maybe my
grandmother's middle name:
Myrtle.
Isn't that awful?
It's a lovely name.
Tell me something about you.
Well, there's not much to tell.
When I finish eighth grade
I'll be going off to Choate.
Eighth grade?
How old are you?
Thirteen.
Would you like some lemonade?
I'd love some.
Say no more.
Oh, where were
you when I was 13?
( romantic theme playing)
Walter? Uh, Mr. Barrish?
Hi.
Hi. It is okay if I call
you Walter, isn't it?
I mean, please, call me Julie.
Sure, Julie.
Well, uh, did you
want to talk to me?
What? Oh, no.
I just wanted to say hello.
Oh. Well, hello.
I think I'll go try my hand
at some skeet shooting.
Who was that older
gentleman? Who?
Ah, just a passenger.
Hm.
You built this ship.
You broke this ship.
Now you're gonna fix this ship.
We're not licensed to
work outside the country.
Look, we've already set
sail. You're stuck here.
So why don't you
just do us this favor?
Fix the ship.
Well...
CAPTAIN: Gopher?
Shh!
Captain!
Just the man we've
been looking for.
What's going on in there?
Nothing. Nothing. Oh, nothing.
Now, what are
you all doing here?
ALL: Uh...
Well, you got us cold.
No use hiding it anymore.
We were just planning a party
for your fifth anniversary
tomorrow night.
Yes. A party?
Yes. For me?
Yes. Well, that never
entered my mind.
But, uh, here's a list of people
you might think of inviting.
Ah, parents, huh?
You said it.
Come on. Last one
in is a rotten egg.
Huh, what's that?
No, signature.
Walter, you're a
man of mystery too.
( majestic theme playing)
Hi, Julie. Oh, hi, Bobby.
Oh, you look beautiful.
Oh, the flowers suit you.
Oh, thank you.
I kind of thought
you'd like roses.
I've gotten us a table.
Oh!
Thank you.
So where were we?
( jazz theme playing)
I never even knew you
had a sense of humor.
I never knew you
knew I was alive.
Oh, you knew. I know you knew.
Yeah, but I didn't know
you knew I knew you knew.
What happened to you?
You used to be so stuffy.
Stuffy?
Well, yeah, conservative,
like my father.
I always thought
it was kind of cute.
Mother. Hello, dear.
You look lovely. Thank you.
Diana, hello. Hi.
I see you're expecting
someone else.
Yeah, yeah, we are.
We kind of thought that you
and Mr. Hardaway could, sort of...
I think I'm going to leave
you two lovebirds to yourself.
I think I'll split.
What's the use? Well, we tried.
I thought your mother
would have given it a chance.
What, are you kidding?
And sacrifice her principles?
At least your dad
would make an effort.
So much for my dad's effort.
You're not only the most
beautiful woman aboard,
but you're definitely
the most charming.
I haven't said three
intelligent words all evening.
That's not true.
But what I don't understand is
why you're having dinner with me
when there's so many
good-looking younger men around.
Well, sometimes age is a plus.
It is with wine.
Well, I'd hate to tell you
what year I was bottled.
That man with Julie,
isn't he a little
bit too old for her?
Well, she's a cruise director.
It's part of her
job to socialize.
She's beautiful.
You seem to be very
fond of Miss McCoy.
Fond of her? I'm
in love with her.
( majestic theme playing)
( soft music playing)
Are you sure you
wouldn't rather be dancing?
I couldn't go home
after this cruise,
unless I'd stood in the
moonlight with a handsome man.
No, come on, no joking.
Who's joking?
Hey, Sam? Yeah?
Listen.
( disco music playing)
You hear anything?
Yeah, you humming.
No, not me. There's music.
People having a good time.
Oh, I wanna dance.
In a second. Just let
me finish this piece.
No, not with you.
I wanna go up on deck
and have some fun.
But no, no. We're
stuck down here
playing with matches.
Yeah, well, we did
break their model.
Oh, no. We did not
break their model. You did.
Me? You.
Sam, Sam, Sam.
I'm telling you this
for your own good,
because if one is not able
to assume responsibilities
for one's actions, one will
never become a mature citizen.
Now, who broke the model?
I did?
Now, that's mature.
Yeah, but it was your fault.
( groans)
Oh, that's the last hairpin.
I'm gonna need a
lot more to finish.
Oh, great! Now I finally have
a reason to get out of here.
Look, I'll go get us some.
Why should you go?
Because you're working.
Yeah, and I've
been working all day.
I'll tell you the truth,
Bo. I'm a little tired.
Okay, okay, okay.
I sense a little snit coming on.
So we'll flip for it, all right?
Okay. Winner goes.
You got it. Call it.
Heads.
Okay, that's one for you.
Wait, wait. What do
you mean, one for me?
We always play one
wins. I won. I'm going.
Well, you're right. You won.
And I never won before.
Go. Have a good time.
Oh, Sam.
Don't worry about me.
Look, Bo, why don't you go
instead? I know you want to.
Oh, no. You won fair and
square. You deserve it.
No, it's okay pal.
You go. Really.
Uh-uh, no. You've been
working hard all day.
No, I want you to go.
No, definitely not. I
wouldn't think of it.
Bo, I'm begging you.
Why don't you go?
I mean, I'm a mature
person, I broke the model.
You go, please. No. Okay, okay.
I'll go.
But this is the last time
I'm doing your dirty work.
Thanks, man.
Hey, Sam, why don't
you come with me?
You mean it, Bo?
Yeah, sure.
♪ Dancing, dancing ♪
♪ Dancing ♪
May I?
Of course.
Hey, we can't go in
there dressed like this.
Yeah, you're right. Let's
go back and change.
Into what?
Come on.
Here you are, sir. Have
a nice evening now.
Oh, thank you.
( clears throat)
Say, you got my clothes there?
Name's Haggerty.
Let me check. Just a minute.
Yes, sir. Right, here we are.
Haggerty. Well, where you been?
I've been waiting all night.
Well, it says deliver
by 9 p.m., right there.
Not 9, 6.
With service like this, I
hope you don't expect a tip.
( sighs)
Pretty lively crowd for, uh,
two in the morning.
It's 10:30.
10:30?
This old watch
has really had it.
( upbeat music playing)
She must have a thousand
hairpins in that mop.
Watch this.
What a move.
Oh, hi, Julie. Hi.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Oh, we need hairpins.
What?
Now you can go back
and have fun fixing the model.
Oh, and don't worry about me.
I'll try and stick
it out down here
for another hour or so.
See you later, buddy.
What a guy.
( majestic theme playing)
Oh, she's really
easy to talk to,
you know, she laughs a lot.
And she's impulsive and direct
and intelligent and beautiful.
As a matter of fact,
she's a lot like you.
Oh!
( both laughing)
Daddy, you can't believe
how wonderful I feel.
Wonderful as the Dickens.
Bigger. Wonderful as heck.
Right. And you wanna know why?
Because you're walking out here
in the moonlight
with your old man.
Oh, well, yeah. But also,
I'm in love with Jeff.
Do you think he'd consider
coming to the wedding
without his mother?
( harp theme playing)
Hi.
We're gonna have to
stop meeting like this.
( majestic theme playing)
Good morning, Isaac.
Good morning.
Julie, what are you
doing up so early?
I have a date for breakfast.
Ah, Walter Barrish.
No. Bobby Tryman.
I thought Mr. B was
at the top of your list?
Well, he is pretty special.
ISAAC: There is quite a
difference in your ages.
So?
ISAAC: Oh, sorry.
I mean, the way he dances
and the way he carries himself.
Well, he has "gentleman"
written all over him.
Hey, well, listen,
who am I to argue with love.
Ah! Ah!
Good morning.
Oh, good morning,
Bobby. Did you sleep well?
I dreamed about you.
Did you think of me at all?
Well, I don't get up at 8 in
the morning for just anybody.
I brought my backgammon
board. Do you play?
Mm-hm. You can't
be a cruise director
and not play backgammon.
Shall we play first
or eat first, darling?
Did we glow like that
when we were their age?
I did.
How about a truce?
For their sakes.
Frankly, I wouldn't
mind one for my sake.
Here you are. I'm sorry.
About what?
Well, that I haven't been able
to spend more time with you.
Oh.
Well, uh, this is not
exactly a vacation for you.
Aren't you are a pleasure?
Me? Yes.
You're undemanding,
understanding,
and a very good kisser too.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Would you like this
ship to go faster?
Or the sun to shine brighter?
Or maybe something
a little more personal?
Good morning.
Oh, excuse me, have
you met our captain?
No, I haven't.
Captain Merrill Stubing,
this is Walter Barrish.
Mr. Barrish, it's a
pleasure. How do you do?
Talk to you for a
moment, Miss McCoy?
Oh, certainly, sir.
Excuse us, Mr. Barrish.
I'll, uh, see you later.
Yes, sir?
About Bobby Tryman.
Oh, he's a wonderful
kid, isn't he?
I just love him.
Unfortunately, he feels
the same way about you.
He's really got a crush.
Well, isn't that cute?
It's not cute to
him. It's important.
Well, he'll get over it, sir.
Oh, sure.
Like I got over Miss
Breem in the seventh grade.
It took months.
Believe me, I suffered.
Have a talk with
him, will you, Julie?
And don't do what
Miss Breem did.
Don't say "dismissed."
Okay, sir.
Mr. Gopher.
ALL: Ta-da!
Well, we did it.
Pins. Needles.
Shakespeare. Longfellow.
( vibrating noise) What's that?
Oh, He told me it'd
be finished on time.
We're right on schedule.
All right. I don't want
anything to happen this time.
Let's move this to
a nice, safe place.
Yeah, someplace where
the captain won't find it.
Right. Are you kidding?
Name one place on this
ship the captain doesn't go.
Barber shop.
( all speaking indistinctly)
Come on. Take it easy. Easy.
Okay. Elevator's
this way. Let's go.
MAN ( over PA): Assistant Purser
Smith, to the Radio Room, please.
Oh, darn it. All right, listen.
The barber shop is two
decks down, across the lobby.
Make certain that nobody
sees you, especially the captain.
No sweat.
Why do those two words
always make me sweat?
( soft theme playing)
Ah!
I don't believe it.
You killed me again.
I'm not playing any
more games with you.
Oh, come on. One more, please.
Please, please. Okay. Okay.
How do you think
our folks are doing?
Well, if they're
burying the hatchet,
it's about time. Heh, yeah.
As long as they're not
burying it in each other.
Well, my dad knows darn
well a union's inevitable.
Why doesn't he just
make it easy on himself
and tell your
mother to go ahead?
Well, it wouldn't be inevitable
if my mother wasn't trying to
put another notch in her gun.
Oh, come on. My dad's
just being stubborn.
He's completely out of date.
Listen, it's guys
like your father
who made this
country what it is today.
Men who built things
with their hands.
He's just trying to
protect what's his.
And what about his employees?
Who's going to protect them?
Look, I'm one of his employees.
He already pays
us over union scale.
Well, fine, but what
about job security,
health insurance,
cost of living increases?
What are you, the
voice of the people?
You're beginning to
sound like my mother.
Well, your mother happens to be
concerned with
other human beings.
How she happened to raise a son
who's somewhere to the right
of Genghis Khan is beyond me.
Well, what about your father?
He ended up with somebody
blind, deaf and pretty dumb.
Well, I think that Jeff will
be very good for Diana.
She needs somebody
with a strong hand.
Ah, It'll be great to
have a nice sensitive girl
like Diana for a
daughter-in-law.
Daughter-in-law. Hm?
Daughter-in-law? Son-in-law?
What does that make us?
Strange bedfellows?
( both laughing)
It must be this ocean air.
I actually thought I
was attracted to you.
Well, don't take it so
hard, I thought I was in love.
Love? Yeah, we
all make mistakes.
Yeah, and mine was a dilly.
Enjoying your honeymoon?
( mysterious theme playing)
Oh, Anderson?
Yes, captain?
Get down. Get down.
Maybe there's two of them.
Two what? Captains.
Yeah? No.
No problem, sir.
Thank you, Anderson.
I appreciate it.
Oh, no. Get down.
Get in here.
( soft theme playing)
Bobby, you do
understand, don't you?
I mean, it's just that you
have so much ahead of you:
high school, college,
your first love.
Oh, I'm not putting
this very well, am I?
Well, it's just that I've already
experienced those things
and you've got them
all to look forward to.
I'd give it all up for you.
And we could go away together.
I don't think so.
But I would like to
be your friend, Bobby.
We can write to each other.
Great,
I thought I found
the girl of my dreams
and I end up with a pen pal.
You know something,
Bobby? You're terrific.
If you'll excuse me,
I think I need some time alone.
Okay.
( soft theme playing)
Why are they
throwing it all away?
Jeff can be so unbending.
Well, maybe he
comes by it honestly.
Oh, was that a
crack? If the crack fits.
No, I think that
Jeff is not at fault.
It's Diana with all of
her harebrained ideas.
Diana? Oh, I wish everyone
was so passionately
involved with life.
Monica, life is not
like that. It's hard work.
It's putting one foot
in front of the other.
You make it sound like an orgy.
And you make it
sound dull, as in boring.
Oh.
Am I boring you?
In a word:
Yes. Was that a crack?
It's no use.
Let's go. The
party's about to start.
No, no! Fellas,
please keep trying.
The captain doesn't open
his presents until 10:30.
In half an hour?
Impossible. Please.
Gopher, forget it. They
would if they could, huh?
GOPHER: You're right.
Thanks anyway, guys.
What about a gift
for the captain?
Well, after the party
we'll just have to tell
him what happened.
Thank you. We appreciate it.
( all speaking indistinctly)
I feel terrible, Bo.
I wish there was
something we could do.
Yeah, I know.
They're such nice
people. Real friends.
They went to a lot of
trouble for their captain.
Yeah.
Sam,
set your alarm for 10:30
and let's get to work.
What? Just go ahead and set it.
Well, what can we
do in half an hour?
Build half a ship.
Match.
Glue.
Brush.
( soft theme playing)
( upbeat music playing)
Two brandies.
Look at them. Two of a kind.
Solid citizens.
Yeah. The Robber
Baron and his protégé.
Who needs them?
The Robber Baron?
Don't you think
that's a bit rough?
Who ever let those
two out of the kitchen
didn't realize what they
were unleashing on the world.
( chuckles)
HANK: I don't know.
I like a woman who
talks of something
other than simplicity patterns.
You know, your
father's not really so bad.
In fact, I considered him
something of a challenge.
But I thought you
hated each other.
Oh, we, uh, we disagree
about practically everything,
but, uh, underneath it all
we sort of like each other.
Always have.
In fact, Hank reminds
me of my late husband.
Now, if you wanted
to hear fighting...
You know, she
puts up a good fight.
Make a fine politician.
Not of course, that
I'd ever vote for her.
Now wait a minute, wait
a minute. Didn't you...
You know, Jeff, uh,
I could talk about your
mother all night but, uh...
I think I'm gonna
ask her for a dance.
( piano playing softly)
They're terrific kids.
Is that a crack?
This gift, captain, is
from all us stewards.
Anderson, I want to thank
you and all the stewards
for your thoughtfulness
and generosity.
Not to mention,
your originality.
If I get one more gift
shaped like a ship...
What do you think,
Bo? I think it shrunk.
Think anybody will notice?
Ah, it's a party. The
lights will be low.
Just one last piece.
Got it.
Now, don't break it
taking your hand out.
Take it easy.
Hey, don't get me
nervous. I'm trying.
So, let's go.
Bo, why don't you carry it?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll get the door.
From the kitchen staff, captain,
a ship-shaped
chocolate-chip cake.
Thank you.
Congratulations, captain.
Uh, what is this?
And who are they?
I'll explain them later, sir.
This is for you, captain.
From Gopher,
Isaac, Julie and Doc.
Uh, thank you, Gopher,
Isaac, Julie and Doc.
I've, uh, never seen
anything like this before.
It's uh... It's... (
whirring noise)
Is that what I think it is?
You people.
You did it, didn't you?
Well, sir...
Now, how do you
get this thing open?
There it is.
Nice going.
The watch I gave you.
My watch. It's just what
I wanted. It's beautiful.
Oh, and this gift
box is very clever.
Oh, it's inscribed.
"A friend for all time."
I'm a lucky man.
I'll treasure this always.
Well, yes, sir.
But before you put
the watch on, uh-
The thing about this watch
is... I mean this watch is...
This is not your ordinary
watch, uh, captain, uh...
They must really love you a lot
to give you a
gift like that, sir.
Would you? Oh, yes, sir.
Thank you.
How did you ever know?
You know, Walter,
I was thinking. I
have a week off.
Maybe we could
spend it together.
We could go to the beach.
Oh, hi, Bobby. Hi.
I really feel like a
rat about Bobby.
I mean, I broke his heart.
Julie, letting somebody
down is never easy,
but sometimes it has to be done.
Oh, but he's only 13 years old.
How old are you?
I'm 25.
That old?
Walter, I'm a woman.
He's a child.
Julie.
I have a daughter,
28 years old. Walter.
A son, 26 and another one, 24.
By the time I was your age,
I was already
married three years.
Please don't.
I'm sorry, Julie.
This is not easy.
Believe me.
You don't have to tell me.
I wrote the script.
Well, we can always
be... Be friends.
Please, please.
I'm sorry.
You okay?
Me?
Oh, yeah. I'm just fine.
It's not nice to
lie to a pen pal.
Would you like to dance
the last dance with me?
Sure. What are friends for?
( soft theme playing)
Well, how about in a church?
I was thinking outdoors.
I think I want a
minister... With a judge.
How about gowns and tuxedos...
And come-as-you-are.
Monica, it's been
a wonderful cruise.
Oh, it certainly has, Hank.
I've enjoyed every minute.
I'll see you on Monday?
Mm-hm. Across
the negotiating table.
I was thinking Monday night.
Oh!
Thank you, and
here is my address.
Now I'm gonna try to
write to you every day.
Well, let's not go overboard.
Oh, Bobby Tryman,
you're the best.
Au revoir, Julie.
Oh. Au revoir.
Julie.
Oh, Walter. Goodbye.
Goodbye. I'm
glad we met, friend.
So am I, friend.
Listen, you guys,
thank you for everything.
Hey. I'm sorry about your watch.
Oh, that's okay.
Bo said he's gonna buy
me another one. Right, Bo?
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
It'll take about six months.
Six months? Sure.
Hey, it takes a long time to
save up that many box tops.
( all laughing)
Well, call us again.
We go anywhere.
We do anything. Yeah, we know.
This watch is fantastic.
It's an alarm, a stopwatch.
It tells the time, the
date, the day, the month.
STUBING: It's fabulous.
Well, we're glad
you like it, sir.
Yes. And I've never even
heard of this make before:
Crunchies.
It sounds like a cereal.
Ah, well, I believe
that's French, sir:
"crunshay."
"Crunshay."
( majestic theme playing)