The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 2, Episode 22 - Love Me, Love My Dog/Poor Little Rich Girl/The Decision - full transcript

( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing)

♪ Love ♪

♪ Exciting and new ♪

♪ Come aboard ♪

♪ We're expecting you ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ Let it flow ♪

♪ It floats back to you ♪

♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪



♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪

♪ Set a course for adventure ♪

♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ It's an open smile ♪

♪ On a friendly shore ♪

♪ It's love ♪

♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪

( majestic theme playing)

( dog barking)

Shh.

Keep quiet, Cricket. Remember
dogs aren't allowed on the ship.



( Cricket barks)

Shh. Cricket,

if you and I are going to
enjoy this cruise together,

you've got to cooperate.

( Cricket barks)

( coughs)

Chest cold.

( Cricket barks) ( woman coughs)

That's the one for me.

One for you.

Two for me.

One for you.

Hey, he's hogging
all the ladies.

You two fight it out between
yourselves. I'm not interested.

Not interested in ladies?

That's like not being
interested in breathing.

Still not interested?

Oh, come on. Where's
the old spirit of competition?

The thrill of victory.

The agony of defeat.

I have been burned
for the last time.

Poor guy.

How do you mend a broken heart?

How would I know?

I'm the breaker,
not the breakee.

Hi. Welcome aboard.
I'm Julie McCoy.

Suzanna Wells.

Hi. Hi.

What a beautiful ship.

What a beautiful coat.

Oh, thank you.
It's genuine mink.

That wasn't too cool, was it?

Is this your first
trip to Mexico?

It's my first trip anywhere.

A month ago, I was a
waitress in a coffee shop.

And now I'm rich. My
uncle left me a fortune.

Ah. Listen to me.

Here I am trying
to be sophisticated,

and in two seconds
I've told you my life story.

Well, I don't blame you.
You must have been in shock.

No. In stores. I've been
shopping my head off.

( laughs)

I'd probably do that too.

Yeah.

Captain Stubing? Oh, yes?

How are you?
You're looking terrific.

Oh, yeah, thank you.

You look good yourself, er...

Alan, Alan Harmon.

Sure.

( laughs awkwardly)

Well, it's nice to
have you aboard, son.

Uh, how are things
at the... Gas station.

I'm the mechanic
that fixes your car.

Of course.

Is it ready yet?

Just waiting for
the parts to come in.

Oh, excuse me. There's
the girl I'm planning to marry.

Suzanna, baby.

Am I the last person
you expected to see?

No. You're the last
person I wanted to see.

Now that is cold.

Ooh. Any colder and he's gonna
have to borrow her mink coat.

Yes, sir. May I help you?

Yes, I was just wondering
if you can direct me to...

Oh, excuse me,
miss. Ladies first.

Oh, well, thank you.

It's nice to know that
gallantry still exists.

One can but try.

Oh, I'm Alicia Finch.

Welcome aboard. ( Cricket barks)

Okay, you and your dog
are in Cabin 287 Fiesta...

Dog?

Dog? What dog?

I believe I heard it too.

Oh, you know, some people
hear things all the time.

Now, if you'll pardon me.

( Cricket barks)

( mouthing words)

( ship horn blows)

( majestic theme playing)

There now. That's
more like my little Cricket.

Remember, vacation or not,

now we've got to
keep up appearances.

( barks) Are you hungry again?

Well, all right.

But you know how I feel
about in-between meal snacks.

Hmm. It needs salt.

( knocking on door)

Who is it?

Maid, ma'am. Anything you need?

Uh, no, no, no, thank you.

Oh, and, uh, listen, you
can just skip this cabin

for the rest of the cruise.

I brought my own linen
and my own vacuum cleaner.

Yes, ma'am.

Now I've heard everything.

Do you see what Mama did
for Cricket? Mama told a fib.

Now Cricket, you
have to be extra good

or Mama and Cricket
could get busted.

Now, you stay here
and entertain yourself,

while I go out and
soak up some sun.

And remember,
not a bark out of you.

And don't worry, Mama'll bring
you some more newspapers.

And if you're good, a margarita.

( door opens, closes)

( soft theme playing)

All I want is a good,
solid relationship

with someone who accepts me.

I know what you mean.

On this ship alone,

I have been involved with a PhD,

a rock singer, a
television actress.

And on my second day...

Uh, can I get you something?

Just a glass of water, please.

Ah. Okay. Fine.

But at the end of the cruise,
it's always the same old story.

Bye-bye, Isaac.

Bye-bye, love.

♪ Bye-bye happiness
I think that I could die ♪

( singing scat)

( laughs)

Anything else?

No, I, uh... Is it
okay to just sit here?

Oh, sure.

What can you do about it?

I'll tell you what you do.

You don't get involved
unless you're sure.

That makes sense.

You know, talking to
you has helped me a lot.

I guess it's true what
they say about bartenders.

Thank you.

By the way, what
do you do for a living?

Oh, I'm a psychiatrist.

( soft theme playing)

Thank you.

You just tipped the captain.

Well, of course I
tipped the captain.

I mean anyone with
any class tips the captain.

Don't you know anything?

She gave me a five dollar
tip. Can you believe that?

Oh, I usually only get 50
cents for opening doors.

Why are you following me?

Well, it's very
simple. I love you.

I wish I could believe that.

We had a good
thing going, Suzanna.

Sure we did, until
you backed out.

You were dead set
against marriage.

I wasn't ready.

What makes you
think you're ready now?

Well, for one thing I've grown.

And so has your bank roll.

You're right.
You're very simple.

( soft theme playing)

Oh, come on. Can't
you take a joke?

Pardon me, is this seat...

Oh, it's you.

And it's you.

Do you have a dog?

Do I have a dog?

First in his class at
obedience school.

A magnificent animal.

Do you know he
can actually sing,

♪ How much is that
doggie In the window ♪

Oh, dear me. I'm sorry.
I must be boring you.

Oh, not at all. I love dogs.

Well, as a matter
of fact, I have one.

I knew it. I knew it.

You can always
tell a dog person.

Uh-oh.

Now, now, now,
don't tell me... Uh...

Saint Bernard.

Close. Yorkie.

Well, not a purebred,
but a near miss.

( chuckling)

Excuse my forwardness,
but do you have dinner plans?

Well, no.

May I call for you at
your cabin about 7:00?

My cabin? Yes.

Well, uh, to tell you the
truth, I haven't unpacked yet.

And it's a little bit messy.

Why don't we meet
in the dining room?

Fine, fine.

Now, tell me, are you
having a problem with fleas?

ALICIA: Well, as a matter of
fact, yes, especially in hot weather.

Oh, yes.

( soft theme playing)

Buenas noches, chef.

Mmm.

Well, everybody seems
to be enjoying themselves.

Well, what's not to enjoy?

Mexican Fiesta Night's

one of the
highlights of the trip.

Margaritas, chicken in
mole, uh, fried bananas.

Mexico, my Mexico.

♪ That ol' black magic's
Got me in its spell. That ol... ♪

Hold it. "Old Black Magic?"

I never learned Spanish.

Good evening. Hi.

Suzanna, you look sensational.

I look okay? Yes.

I'm dining at the
captain's table.

Oh, let me show you the
way. It's right over here.

I mean, I want
everything to be just right.

I'm sure he doesn't let
just anybody eat with him.

Or possibly he does.

Captain, Miss Wells. Excuse me.

Miss Wells. I'm glad
you could join us.

Wow. Are those real diamonds?

They cost $8000. Would
you like to see the bill?

I only meant...
I've never seen...

Forget it.

You had more class
when you were a waitress.

Hi.

Hi.

Not eating?

Not hungry.

Another water?

Maybe something
a little stronger.

Right, orange juice.

Scotch rocks and go
easy on the orange juice.

Okay.

So did you solve
that man's problem?

What man?

The guy on deck today who
wanted a real relationship.

Oh, him.

No, that's just a guy who's
been through the wringer.

And you?

Oh, I'm more your drip dry.

I don't believe that.

( soft theme playing)

Well, if you're all set,

I have to go open up
the Acapulco Lounge.

Uh, your replacement
bartender will be here in a minute.

Oh.

Something else you need?

How are you fixed for advice?

Oh, that's just a miss, myth.

Myth, miss.

Bartender's advice isn't
any better than anyone else's.

We're just freer with it.

Well, what I really needed
was someone to talk to.

Okay.

I'm all ears.

( Mexican theme playing)

You know, my little
Cricket is practically human.

You know, at times
she'll cock her little head

and scrunch her little face up

and I could swear

that she was pondering some
deep philosophical question.

I expect her to speak English,

and solve the international
monetary crisis.

( both laugh)

( sighs)

Mason, what's the matter?

I miss King.

Oh, I know my houseman
is taking good care of him,

but this is about the time
I'd be dishing out his kibble.

He likes it with

a little chopped
sirloin thrown in.

Oh.

It's not fair.

They allow people to
bring their children on board.

Mason, come to my cabin.

I'm going to cheer you up.

Things move
awfully fast on a ship.

( soft theme playing)

And Jimmy wants to
get married next month.

But it was like you were saying.

A person has to be sure.

Why aren't you?

You said he was good to you.

Yes.

He's very good.

Then what?

Are you afraid you're
gonna make a commitment

and then he'll walk?

No.

Hey, Isaac, how'd you like...

Oh. Hey, excuse us.

Look. Let's start again.

This time in English.

I think it's me.

I've been through
one lousy marriage and

I'm not sure if I'm ready to
take on the responsibility.

Make the sacrifices.

You have to give up so much.

That's just a cop-out.

When it's right, there
are no sacrifices.

As much as you give him,

he's gonna give it
right back to you.

That's what they
call love, Selena.

I was right about you.

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

I'll never learn.

( laughing) Oh, Mason.

Well, here we are.

Alicia, wouldn't you
like to have a drink?

In the bar? With other people?

Oh, I've got some
sherry in my cabin.

Well, I prefer champagne.

I've got some of that too.

How about Slivowitz?

Oh, Mason.

Alicia, everything is
happening so quickly.

But, Mason, I'm just
trying to lift your spirits.

Well, thanks. But...

why don't we at least
have a dance first.

( soft theme playing)

Fine.

( Mexican theme playing)

Things can't be that bad.

You mean they could be worse?

( clears throat)

Where's Suzanna?

Probably down in her cabin
stuffing money in her mattress.

Now, now, Alan.

It's not her fault, captain.

Every time I open my
mouth, I... I stick my foot in it.

"Are those real diamonds?"

No wonder she's convinced
I'm after her money.

Oh, if this money
makes me so miserable,

maybe I should
just give it all away.

Well, why don't we start with
the Julie McCoy Foundation

for the Permanently Broke.

Oh, listen to me. Now,
if Alan had said that,

I would've been mad at him.

Oh, why can't I trust him?

Maybe he does love me.

I might as well forget it.

She'll never believe
I love her for herself.

Hmm. Well, in that case,

perhaps you should tack to the
leeward instead of the windward.

That's terrific.

Here I'm having a
romantic problem,

and you're playing
Admiral of the Fleet.

I mean...

maybe you should
get a little devious.

Really devious.

Lover's tiff?

Um, she's not my lover.
She's already got a guy.

DOC: I don't see one.

She'd probably love to dance.

Then why don't
you dance with her?

Look, I've already played this
game and I know how it ends.

Lady 1000, Washington zero.

Look, I am not
suggesting matrimony.

I am suggesting
the Latin hustle.

And what's all this business
about winning or losing?

We're just talking
about having a little fun.

Well, there's nobody
to watch the bar.

Hey, what'll it be, mister?
An extra dry martini?

Uh, rocks? Straight up?
With or without a twist?

Okay, you guys.

Try not to poison anybody.

Okay. What're you
having? Step right up.

What'll you have to drink?

Do you want to trip the light?

Fantastic.

Fantastic.

( Latin dance theme playing)

This money is making me crazy.

Well, I'd like enough just
to make me slightly loony.

Well, I'm not gonna
let this happen to me.

I'm gonna go and
apologize to Alan

and give this thing
another chance.

Good for you.

But what if he really is a rat?

He doesn't love
me, just my loot.

For heaven's sake.

You're right. You are right.

Okay.

Miss Wells, may I speak to
you for a moment, please?

Perhaps later, captain.

I don't ordinarily interfere

in the private lives
of my passengers,

but what I have just
heard is the most...

Well, the most shocking case
of out and out fortune-hunting

I've ever come across.

Alan?

What can I say?

He told me the only
reason he's on this ship

is to get his hands
on your money.

Whoa.

His scheme also includes a
quickie marriage in Mazatlan.

I was right all along.

Well,

I will teach him a lesson
that he will never forget.

Oh, captain...

I wish that there was
something I could do.

Just remember me at
Academy Awards time.

( chuckles)

( majestic theme playing)

Oh, Mason, I'm so glad that
you suggested that we go dancing.

Yes.

You know, I don't think I've
had as much fun in years.

Me, either.

Now, this time you will come in.

Try and stop me.

Hey, Mason.

I think you're going to
be amazed, delighted.

Amazed and delighted.

Close your eyes.

All right.

Come right in here. Okay.

Now you stand right there.

Yes.

Oh, and Mason,
you must promise me

never to breathe a
word of this to anyone.

Never. I am a gentleman.

( sniffs)

Mmm. That perfume.

I can't... I can't
describe it. It...

MASON: It's like an animal musk.

I'm ready, darling.

Ohh.

You're not gonna believe this.

Okay, open your eyes.

All right.

( growls, barks)

Oh.

You see?

Mason, there really
was a dog this morning.

Mason, this is Cricket.
Cricket, this is Mason.

She's adorable.

It wasn't what I was expecting.

Oh, I know. You probably
thought she'd be much bigger.

Go ahead and pet her.
She just loves people.

( barks)

Most people.

Cricket, Cricket.
What's come over you?

I don't understand.

She's usually such a
good judge of character.

Well,

this character
better call it a night.

( barks)

Okay. Goodnight.

Well, goodnight.

( playful theme playing)

Cricket, come on
now. Give me a break.

I don't meet that many nice men
that you should chase them away.

( barks, growls)

( lively theme playing)

Barkeep.

May I have a
grasshopper, please?

A grasshopper. Yes, ma'am.

Oh, coming right up.

What color is a grasshopper?

Well, unless the last one I
had was moldy, they're green.

They're green.
Grasshoppers are green.

So, we want to go with the...

Crème de menthe.
The crème de menthe.

If I would be crème de
menthe, where would I be?

There it is.

I'll put it in the
shaker with the ice.

Gonna put it in the
shaker with the ice. Okay.

Shake it, that's why
they call it a shaker.

Careful, sometimes they
charge when they're wounded.

Okay. Ahh!

Careful.

Hey,

do I tell you how to
perform open heart surgery?

You're dealing with a master.

On second thought
make it a perfect Rob Roy.

( soft theme playing)

Anyway, I want you to know

that this money
stuff's all behind us.

I trust you implicitly.

Great.

I was beginning to think this
was gonna be one of those days

when I couldn't make a nickel.

( laughs) Oops.

There I go again.

Never mind. I know you love me.

And I love you too.

Alan.

Let's not wait another
moment longer.

Let's get married in
Mazatlan tomorrow.

Oh, my darling.

You've... You've made me
the happiest man in the bank...

In the world, in the world.

( soft theme playing)

( soft theme playing)

CAPTAIN ( over PA): Good
morning and welcome to Mazatlan.

We hope you enjoy your day.

Here you go. Oh, thank you.

Certainly.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Good morning.

Morning.

Oh, Isaac, thanks
again for last night.

I haven't danced
like that in ages.

You mean your fiancé
doesn't take you dancing?

No.

Well, thanks
again. I'll see you.

Okay.

You see?

A couple of dances
don't necessarily lead

to a broken heart.

Sure. You're happy, she's
happy and you had a little fun.

Yeah. It was fun.

Maybe we could
open a dating bureau.

Right.

I'll have my attorney
call your attorney.

What do you suppose
they'll say to each other?

Whatever they do.
Legal ease, I expect.

( soft theme playing)

Ah! Reading poetry
in the sunshine.

Yes. Browning?

No. I usually freckle.

( both laugh)

I must say, you have a
charming sense of humor.

You know, we really do
have a great deal in common.

Well, you know, that's true.
Especially our love of dogs.

Oh, yes.

Now, Mason, about last night.

Now you mustn't go too
much by first impressions.

Cricket's a dear, really.

It's just that, well,

I've had her since
she was a tiny puppy.

Oh, true, she gets a
little bossy once in a while,

but she just thinks
she's taking care of me.

You take excellent care of her.

Oh, thank you.

Well, it's just a matter
of good grooming,

a sensible diet a little treat
thrown in once in a while.

Oh, did I tell you that
Cricket is an absolute fiend

for Swiss cheese?

Swiss cheese?

Oh, which reminds
me. I'd better go

and give her her
mid-morning snack.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Good Morning. Good Morning.

Mr. Randolph. Are
you enjoying yourself?

Yes. But...

I have this sudden
craving for Swiss cheese.

Well, I'll have the steward
bring you a Swiss cheese on rye.

Perfect. But tell
them to hold the rye.

Yes, sir. Swiss
cheese on nothing.

( soft theme playing)

Suzanna.

What are you doing
lying around in a bikini?

Attracting a lot of men, I hope.

You're supposed to be
dressed for our wedding.

Oh, I knew there was
something I was supposed to do.

Silly me. I don't
understand you.

But I understand you, Alan.

Thanks to the captain there.

What?

Yes.

I told her about
your rotten scheme.

Marrying a lovely girl
like this for her money.

Did you think I'd let you get
away with it, you no-good bum?

All right, you got me. I
was after your money.

Oh, but it wasn't
for me, Suzanna.

It was for my little old
white-haired mother.

It's her heart. She
needs a pacemaker.

Your mother has red hair
and she's in perfect health.

She doesn't need a pacemaker.

She needs a dune buggy?

Come on. Don't act like that.
So we're not getting married.

We can still hang out
together. Have a few laughs.

Are you crazy?

Why would I hang around
with a self-confessed rat?

Because when you
meet somebody else

you'll begin to
wonder if he's a rat.

At least with me, you
know what you're getting.

( soft theme playing)

Hi. Hi.

Where are you going?

Oh, I'm gonna go
swinging on a cloud.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, it sounds great.

You want to come along?

Great. You ever been
parachuting before?

Well, not exactly.

Well, we used to
skydive, but then Jimmy...

Jimmy, your fiancé?

Yes.

Would you do me a favor?

Leave Jimmy on the ship, okay?

Okay.

( knocking on door)

Who is it?

MASON: It's just me.

Hi. Hi.

A little something
sweet for you.

Oh, thank you.

And a little something
cheesy for your cabin mate.

Oh, Mason. Swiss cheese.
You think of everything.

Here you go, girl.
Your favorite treat.

Come on, Cricket. Look,
a gift from an admirer.

Cricket?

( barks)

Cricket?

I don't understand, Mason.

She... She's never rejected
Swiss cheese before.

It's no use. This dog
just doesn't like me.

But I like you, Mason.

That's all that counts.

Don't worry so much about
Cricket. She'll come around.

( growls)

I hope so.

Uh, you wouldn't happen to have

a loaf of rye bread
handy, would you?

Would pumpernickel do?

A pumpernickel. All right.

( barks)

( Mexican theme playing)

Oh, Isaac.

Ah, the prodigal
bartender returns.

Where were you all day?

Well, no place special.

Oh, we had a fabulous afternoon.

We went parachuting and then
we went running on the beach,

and then we found
this great little bar.

I just remembered,

I left the water
running in my cabin.

Well, I'll help you bail.

Oops. Isaac's falling.

Yeah. And we're the
ones that tripped him.

Ain't we devils?

( majestic theme playing)

I just remembered
about the midnight buffet.

Maybe Cricket would
like a lobster tail.

Mason, please, now I know
you want Cricket to accept you,

but you're pushing.

It'll happen. I promise.

And in the meantime, why
don't you concentrate on me.

Yes.

Maybe she'd rather
have the caviar.

To the most beautiful
girl in the world.

To your mouth,
your neck, your arms.

Your... Alan.

Just admiring your assets.

( both laughing)

ISAAC: Oh, hey,

you care to, uh,
match moves with me?

You call those moves?

Honey, I dance, you
just walk around a lot.

Oh, really? Why don't you put
your feet where your mouth is.

Well, that's not
gonna be too easy.

Oh!

My leg.

Will he live, doctor?

He'll live, but he
may never walk again.

Selena! Selena!

( melancholy theme playing)

Hey, Selena, we
were just kidding.

Oh, don't cry.

I-I'm okay. Honest.

Oh, Isaac.

Selena?

You know how we
were talking about

finding the right person?

Someone to share
everything with?

Well, isn't that what
we've been doing?

I'm crazy about you.

More tears?

You're a regular faucet.

Maybe... Maybe we
tried to do too much today.

You got tired.

Why don't you get some sleep?

And we'll talk
about it tomorrow.

Isaac. I... Tomorrow.

( majestic theme playing)

The cruise is almost over.

Yes.

Do you think...

Do you think we could
see each other in the city?

Oh, yes, Mason. Yes.

Alicia?

May I kiss you?

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, Mason.

Alicia.

Mason, let's not say goodnight.

Well, what about the dog?

Maybe we should go to my cabin.

No, I can't leave
her alone all night.

She'll be asleep.

She won't bother us.

Okay. Shh.

Shh. Come on.

( soft theme playing)

I'll be right out.

I'll be waiting...

Ow!

Shh.

( playful theme playing)

( barks)

( barking, growling)

Be quiet and go to sleep.

Quiet, quiet. Shh.

Quiet, quiet. Sit.

Roll over. Play dead.

Oh, no, Cricket! Cricket,
come back here. Cricket!

I'm ready, darling.

Mason?

Cricket?

She got out.

Oh, no. Cricket! Cricket!

Cricket. You're bugging me.

( soft theme playing)

( clears throat)

Well, this is where I live.

Nice building.

You, uh...

You wouldn't consider kissing
a dirty dog like me, would you?

Nah.

Nah.

ALICIA: Cricket! Cricket!

Cricket, where are you?

Cricket! Cricket!
Here girl! Cricket!

Stop that dog.

Did you ever look at
someone and see fireworks

and hear music in your head

like you've never
heard it before?

Yeah.

One Fourth of
July at Disneyland.

I guess you guys have forgotten

what it's like to be in love.

Isaac, I hate to
rain on your parade,

but I thought Selena
already had a guy.

The key word is had.

He's out, and... I'm in.

Wait a minute.

I thought you were just
gonna have some fun.

Like I said, it's not
winning or losing.

Right. It's how
you play the game.

( chuckles)

Cricket! Here girl!
Here girl! Cricket?

Excuse me. But have
you seen my dog?

Dog?

Yes. Her name is Cricket.

And she's almost
a Yorkshire Terrier.

There must be a million
places she could go.

She'd better not. The
captain'll have a fit.

There she is.

ALICIA: Cricket!

Cricket! Cricket, here girl!

It's completely
against the rules.

I thought everybody knew
that. What am I supposed to do?

Stand out on the
deck, hand out leaflets?

I mean, what's gonna happen
when the captain finds out?

The captain.

Captain, wait!

Captain, I think it's wonderful
what you're doing for Alan.

Well, every once in a
while we have to reach out

and help our fellow
human beings.

Otherwise, this world
would just go to the dogs.

( Cricket barks)

Sir, when you're
right, you're right.

Did I tell you about
the terrific shop

I found in Mazatlan?
They've got...

( Cricket barks)

I, uh...

Come here, Cricket.
Cricket! Cricket!

Sir, sir, sir. I'll get him.

There he goes.

Cricket! Cricket!

( all shouting indistinctly)

( all speaking indistinctly)

Bring the dog here.
Bring him over here.

CAPTAIN: Hold your head
up. Hold him out of the water.

( coughing)

Help him, Doc.

Cricket just loves to
skinny-dip at night. Naughty girl.

Well, I obviously
don't have a choice.

I'm going to have to
bend the rules a little.

Cricket can stay in your cabin.

Purser Smith, order some
soup bones for the hound.

Oh, thank you, captain.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

What makes you think
you're off the hook?

Follow me.

( soft theme playing)

( laughs)

Now, where were we?

( barking, growling)

Oh... Stop it.

Cricket, stop that.

Stop it.

It... It's no use, Alicia.

I'm Romeo, you're Juliet,

but Cricket won't let
me near the balcony.

Oh, Mason, don't go.

Please, don't make it
any more difficult than it is.

Another time, another place.

Another dog.

( soft theme playing)

( Cricket barks, growls)

( majestic theme playing)

Well, so here I am absolutely
madly in love with Alan.

Well, I think that's
terrific Suzanna.

Are you crazy? He admits
that he only wants my money.

Well, sure, but haven't
you figured that out?

It's all part of the
captain's plan.

Plan?

Sure. The captain saw that
you were suspicious of Alan,

and he figured, well, if your
suspicions were confirmed

maybe you could just relax

and give yourself a
chance to fall in love.

That is downright sneaky.

Oh, well, Captain Stubing
graduated top of his class

at the Maritime
Academy of Sneakiness.

So you thought up
that crazy scheme?

Well... And you
went along with it?

Well, let me tell you
something, buster,

it worked.

( laughing)

Oh, captain.

Thank you.

Florist. Hey, sleepyhead.

I've come to escort you
through the wilds of Los Angeles.

Oh, hi, Florence. Miss Moore in?

Why no, Isaac.
I think she's left.

Thanks.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Oh, thank you, but
I prefer chocolates.

Listen, have you Selena?

Yeah, she just
left. I'm sorry, Isaac.

You forgot to say goodbye.

It is goodbye.

Oh, Isaac, I can't explain.

It would only come out wrong.

But believe me, I meant it
when I said you were beautiful.

You're everything a
woman could want.

But why?

MAN: Selena.

Jimmy.

Oh, Jimmy.

Excuse me.

Beautiful roses
for a beautiful lady.

For me?

Oh, thank you.

My pleasure.

( upbeat theme playing)

Alicia, I couldn't leave
without giving you this.

A little memento of the
time we spent together.

Oh, Mason. A sterling
silver dog whistle.

Goodbye, Alicia. Goodbye.

( blows whistle)

( barks)

Oh, Cricket, sometimes I
wish you were a goldfish.

Hello, King.

How are you, old boy?

( gasps)

Cricket! Cricket!

Oh, look, Mason, it's wonderful.

They're crazy about each other.

You know what they say,

two dogs can live
as cheaply as one.

Oh, Mason.

( chuckling)

( majestic theme playing)