The Love Boat (1977–1987): Season 2, Episode 17 - Second Chance/Don't Push Me/Like Father, Like Son - full transcript

( Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing)

♪ Love ♪

♪ Exciting and new ♪

♪ Come aboard ♪

♪ We're expecting you ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ Let it flow ♪

♪ It floats back to you ♪

♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪



♪ The Love Boat ♪

♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪

♪ Set a course for adventure ♪

♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ It's an open smile ♪

♪ On a friendly shore ♪

♪ It's love ♪

♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪

( upbeat theme playing)

( knocking on door)

Come in.

You wanted to see me, sir?



Oh, yes, Isaac. I wanted to
go over your schedule. Ah.

You're gonna need
some time to work

with the new girl
in the gift shop.

No problem, sir.

I've already set
aside some time.

Oh, good. Uh, what
was her name again?

Stephanie, Uh,
Stephanie Jackson.

Oh, yes, Stephanie. Ah.

Will this be her first job?

No, no, she worked in a
department store before she...

Before she, um...

"Arrested for shoplifting."

Uh, you're not having
second thoughts about this,

are you, sir?

Absolutely not.

I'm very glad to
be participating

in this juvenile-rehabilitation
program.

Well, actually, my mom
deserves all the credit.

I mean, it was her church
group that started the program.

Yes.

Well, I have a lot
of faith in you, Isaac.

I know you can handle
Stephanie's training

and adjustment
to shipboard life.

( grunts)

Uh, sir?

May I?

( sighs)

Thank you.

( playful theme playing)

Uh... If it's any
consolation, sir, um...

I-I don't think that,
uh, cashews, uh, stain.

Droll, Mr. Washington,
very droll.

That'll be all.

Right.

( sighs)

( upbeat theme playing)

I don't know, I feel
strange being here.

Wouldn't you rather
be alone with this, uh...?

What is it, Lisa, or
is it Barbara this trip?

Dad, it's Libby, Libby Hall.

Libby Hall? Sounds like
a dorm at a girls' school.

( chuckles)

Well, you haven't met her yet.
We've only dated a few times.

She agreed to go
on a cruise with you?

She'll pay for her
own cabin. Oh, well.

Dad, we're just gonna spend
some time together, that's all.

Then I'll surely be in the way.

Dad, you won't be in the way.

She's gonna love you. Alan.

Hi. Libby.

Excuse me. Excuse us.

Hello, Libby? How you doing?

It's good to see you. Ah, I
want you to meet my dad.

Dad, now, this is Libby Hall.

Oh, it's a pleasure. Excuse me.

Alan didn't tell me
you were an artist.

You are?

Well, this is either
an artist's portfolio

or you have very thin clothes.

( laughs)

LIBBY: Do you paint?

Ha. Not since high school.

I once painted a
picture of the principal

and I was almost expelled.

That bad?

I painted it on
the side of his car.

That's bad.

( both laugh)

Excuse me. Alan, Alan
Billingsley. Remember me?

Alan Billingsley. What
are you doing here?

Listen, why don't you
grab a date and join us?

You're sure I won't
be in the way?

Probably, but it's too
late to send you home.

( laughs)

Let's get you checked in.

Here. Oh. Well, thank you.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Beery.

I'm Julie McCoy,
your cruise director,

and this is Adam
Bricker, our ship's doctor.

Hi. How do you do?

You and Mrs. Beery will be on
the Promenade Deck, Cabin 110.

Oh, oh, w-w-wait a minute,
th-th-there is no Mrs. Beery.

I hope you enjoy your cruise.

BEERY: Oh, I'm
enjoying it already.

I mean, just one breath of
this air and my allergy's gone.

I'm not sneezing.

Oh, Freddums,
aren't you surprised?

( sneezes)

Well, it looks like Lourdes
is gonna stay in business.

Excuse us. I knew you'd love it.

I took the week off,
changed your reservation,

and booked us the most
beautiful cabin on the ship.

For three wonderful days
and two fabulous nights,

we'll be travelling as
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Beery.

( sneezes)

Your allergy sounds
much better. Ah.

It must be the sea air. Mm-hm.

Come along.

You got a dude named Isaac
Washington around here?

Isaac? Uh, yeah, right there.

Hey. Oh, Stephanie, right?
You're Isaac Washington?

Well, if I'm not,

I've been sending Mother's
Day cards to the wrong lady.

But you're black.

No!

Look, I just figured you'd be

one of those
guilty white liberals.

( chuckles)

Well, until one comes along,

why don't I show you to your
cabin and get you settled in?

Oh, right. Let's go to my cabin.

GOPHER: Oh, Stephanie, listen.

If there's anything
Isaac can't do for you,

you just come to me, okay?

'Cause nobody knows this
ship any better than I do.

I'll be in the laundry.

( sighs)

( horn blowing)

( upbeat theme playing)

Look, you got plenty of
closet space over here.

And the
air-conditioning controls

are on the wall on the...

What are you doing?

You got me the gig.
I'm ready to pay off.

Stephanie, sit down.
No, sit down over here.

Now, listen, I got you
the job for a reason,

but it's not the reason
that you're thinking.

Now, all anybody wants is
for you to get a fresh start.

You dig?

( tender theme playing)

( door closes)

Oh, are you serious
about painting?

Well...

You know, you ought
to take some lessons.

It's never too late to start.

That's what they
said about skiing.

So the very next
week, I broke my leg.

You like to ski?

I like it, but I do it
about as well as I paint.

( Libby laughs)

How about you?

No. But I've always
wanted to learn.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

You teach me to paint,

and I will teach you
to break your leg.

( chuckles): Of course.

Anybody for another drink?

Alan, if you continue
to hog the conversation,

I may as well go to my cabin.

( both chuckle)

( upbeat jazz music playing)

Christine, you
are leading again.

I'm sorry.

Being together in
this romantic setting,

it makes me feel
wild and impetuous.

In fact, if someone
were to ask me

to marry them
tomorrow in Mexico,

I'd probably agree.

Ah... Are you
starting to sneeze,

or are you saying yes?

Uh, yes. Achoo. Oh, Fred. Fred.

You have made me the
happiest woman in the world.

No, don't say a thing.

Mere words would
spoil the moment.

Oh...

Hi, Stephanie. I don't
think we've been introduced.

I'm Julie McCoy,
cruise director.

I'm Stephanie Jackson, your
friendly neighborhood parolee.

Hi, Stephanie.

Think you're gonna like
working in the gift shop?

Beats shoplifting in the ghetto.

Stephanie, we don't
care where you came from

or what you did
before you got here.

The only thing that matters
to us aboard this ship

is how well you do your job.

You're an attractive,
intelligent young lady.

Give yourself a chance.

Is he for real?

( piano music playing)

Stephanie, a lot of
people are for real.

You just haven't met 'em yet.

Thank you for taking
care of our blood samples

on such short
notice, Dr. Bricker.

I've got so much
to do for tomorrow.

Let's see, now.

We can get the rings in port,

and the blue dress
will have to do.

A veil. I need a veil.

I've got some gauze you can use.

Ha-ha-ha. Oh, Freddums,
I've got to call my mother.

What? I mean, it isn't every day

that her little
girl gets married.

( sneezes)

Doctor, could you give Freddy
something for his allergy?

I mean, it's not
gonna be very nice

if he goes down the aisle
saying "achoo" instead of "I do."

I love you, Freddums.
( groans, sneezes)

Gesundheit. Goodbye, doctor.

Bye-bye. Thank you.

Uh, I could give you some
antihistamine, Mr. Beery.

Oh, no, no, please.

I tell you, I'm just up to
here with antihistamines.

Nothing seems to be any help.

Well, I'm not an allergist,

but maybe if we could get at
the source of your sneezing,

I'd be able to, uh,
prescribe something else.

Yeah? Now, do you remember

when the symptoms first began?

Let's see, well, I...

Yes, actually, it all...

It all seemed to
start when, uh...

When Christine first
came to work in the office.

But she kept asking me to come
home to dinner a lot, you see.

And everybody...
Any unusual dishes?

No, just plain white
with a blue border.

Hmm.

Does Christine
have a dog or cat?

No.

She does have a
picture of a bird, though.

Well, then one night,
after a game of gin rummy...

( sniffs)

and a couple of crème
de menthe frappés,

I stayed the night.

See, after that,
Christine began thinking...

No, no, Christine
presumed that we were...

That we were
going... Going to...

( inhales, sneezes)

Gesundheit.

Thank you.

Well, if it's not
food or animal hairs

or mattress stuffing,

I can't imagine what the
source of your sneezing might be.

Doctor... Yes?

Oh.

Oh, no, I mean, that
would be silly. That's silly.

What?

Oh, well, I mean,

people cannot be allergic
to other people, can they?

There have been instances.

Oh, well... ( playful
theme playing)

That's it.

I'm allergic to Christine.

( inhales)

Oh, yeah.

( upbeat theme playing)

( indistinct chatter)

Oh, you were in
rare form tonight.

It was a wonderful evening.

I can't remember
when I had so much fun.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Uh, do you think maybe I
could come in for a while?

Uh, I'm kind of tired.

Oh. Must be boat lag.

( laughs)

It must be. Okay,
I'll take a rain check.

Well, good night, Woody.

( sighs, laughs)

I mean Alan. Oh. Yeah.

Night.

( door closes)

( melancholy theme playing)

( sighs)

( door opens)

Oh.

( sneezes)

Oh, Freddums.

Didn't the doctor give you
something for your sneezes?

Oh.

( blows nose)

There's nothing he can give me.

Why? What did he say?

Well, he just said that,

uh, well, sometimes
you develop symptoms

when you have to do
things you don't want to do.

Like what?

Well, like, uh...

Well, you know, like, uh,
when you have to eat spinach

when you don't want to. Heh.

Yeah. O-o-or when you're
forced to practice the violin

when you don't
want to, you know.

But you love spinach
and you love the violin.

But I don't love you.

Ah... I don't wanna marry you.

I don't even wanna
share this cabin with you.

Oh, dear.

Took you long
enough to mention it.

The whole ship, my mother,

and by now
probably half the town

thinks we're getting married.

You've...

You've made me look
like a real chump, Fred.

No.

( melancholy theme playing)

I made myself look like a chump.

( sighs)

I saw myself pushing you.

But I hoped.

I hoped.

Oh, Fred.

Have you ever
wanted anything so bad

you thought you'd
shrivel up and die

if you don't get it?

No.

I guess you haven't.

( sobbing)

Christine.

( sobbing)

( sniffs)

I don't want to sneeze.

I don't even feel
like I want to sneeze.

( romantic theme playing)

Now, every time you make a sale,

you write up a
receipt on this pad.

One copy goes to the customer,

and the other copy goes into
the cash drawer with the money.

It's very important that
you don't lose a receipt

or misplace it,

because it's the only
record that we have of a sale.

Right. What's a receipt?

( chuckles)

Okay, now, this is the key to
the showcase here, all right?

It's a good idea
to keep this locked

because this jewelry
in here is the real thing.

Hey. Hey, they're beautiful.

Yeah, well, you
save your paychecks

and they can be yours.

Okay, that's just about
everything you need to know.

You think you can handle this?

Well...

Ah! I like the way you've
redecorated the gift shop.

No discount for
sweet talk, Gopher.

What do you need?
Some new cologne.

The only thing my old stuff
was attracting was mosquitoes.

And that was on one
of your better days.

Have you got anything
with a little spice, a little lime?

Hey, why don't I spray you
with one of my margaritas?

How about this, Gopher?

Macho Beast,
guaranteed to kill 'em.

And only $15.

( whistles)

That price is gonna kill me.

Well, you need every
break you can get.

I'll take this.

( clears throat)

Oh.

( snorts)

( sighs)

Thank you, Stephanie.

Thank you, sir.

Mm. Bye.

( clears throat)

Ladies, please, stop.
I'm not just a body.

I have a mind too.

( upbeat theme playing)

Are you enjoying
this as much as I am?

Dad, no one is enjoying
it as much as you are.

Well, good morning.
Good morning.

Sit down. Well,
thank you, thank you.

You're gonna sketch today, huh?

Well, I thought
I'd go into town.

Would you like to come along?

I have a better idea.

Well, why don't we
just stay onboard today

and you can sketch a gorgeous
view from my cabin window?

( chuckles)

I really wanted to
go to Puerto Vallarta.

I hear it's a beautiful city.

Would you like to come?

Well, I thought you'd
never ask. I've got it.

The Three Musketeers
in Puerto Vallarta.

Perfect. ( chuckles)

No, Dad, why don't you go ahead?

Three musketeers is a crowd.

Alan.

If Alan wants to be a
stick in the mud, let him.

I'll tell you what.

I will lend you a sketch pad,

and then you won't have to
use the side of somebody's car.

( laughs)

Do you mind if I go?

( laughs)

Of course not.

Should I?

( melancholy theme playing)

( upbeat theme playing)

I'm back. I've decided
to take this sweater.

It's your color too. And
you know something?

Now, that is dynamite.
You know, you're right.

I will take them both.

You know, you have a
very good fashion sense.

Thank you.

I can't afford $200 outfits, but
I read $2 fashion magazines.

I know what I'm talking about.

My husband and I
own several boutiques.

Are these pearls real?

Yes, ma'am. Would
you like to see them?

Yes. Heh.

Oh, my. Oh, they are gorgeous.

With the sweater
and scarf, all right.

Oh, I know, but
Walter would kill me.

Think of them as a
business expense.

I mean, you could
wear them to work

and knock the customers dead.

You know, you're very
good. But I'd better not.

A-at least not until I've had
a chance to work on Walter.

Uh, would you send
these things to me?

I'm on Promenade, Room 342.

I certainly will.

My dear, it's been a
pleasure dealing with you.

Thank you. Come
back again. Oh, I will.

( mysterious theme playing)

( sniffs)

Gopher, you smell
like the Avon lady.

Well, thank you, sir.

( clears throat)

Good Lord, Gopher, how
much cologne did you put on?

Hardly any. Still
have half a bottle left.

( coughs)

Hello, Dr. Bricker. Christine.

Well, Fred,

are you doing what you wanna do?

Christine, I wanted to
talk to you this morning,

but you'd gone already.

I'm not gonna push
myself on you anymore.

I want you to feel
like I'm not even here.

You didn't have to spend
all night in the bathtub.

It was okay, except
when the shower dripped.

No, wait. I'm not
playing the martyr.

I realize that for a long time,

you've been doing things my
way and hating every minute of it.

What are you drinking, Scotch?

Well, you probably can't
stand crème de menthe.

Oh, well, I...

And I bet you hate
chicken Marengo too.

( sighs)

No wonder you had that allergy.

I'm glad we got it
all out in the open.

So am I.

Oh, but I am sorry
I made you cry.

It's not the first time
you've made me cry,

but it will be the last.

I guess I finally realized

that when you reach
the end of the rainbow,

there isn't necessarily
a pot of gold.

( dramatic theme playing)

MAN ( on PA): We hope you
enjoyed your day in Puerto Vallarta.

( upbeat theme playing)

Hi, how's business? Busy.

Any more customers and we'll
have to open an express lane.

Heh. Well, listen, it's
almost closing time.

Um, why don't you
get ready for dinner

and I'll close up, okay?

Oh, that's okay.
I'll do it. No, no, no.

Listen, you haven't had
a break all day today.

Now, I'll see you at dinner.

It's Italian Fiesta Night,
so try to look Italian.

Well, okay.

I'll wear pizza in my hair.

BOTH: Whoa.

( chuckles)

♪ Da, da, da-da, da ♪

What have we got here?

Uh, where is our
new employee going?

I told her I'd
close up, captain.

You know, she really
did a great job today.

Good. Oh, I'm
sorry, you're closing.

I'll only take a minute.

There was a darling girl that
waited on me this afternoon,

and she showed me a
gorgeous pair of pearl earrings,

and I wanted to wear
them at dinner tonight and...

( dramatic theme playing)

Oh, I s... They're gone.

Well, I guess they were
sold to someone else.

Oh, let me check.

WOMAN: Oh, I knew
I shouldn't have waited

to talk to Walter about it.

Oh, never mind.
Thank you anyway.

There is a receipt for
those earrings, isn't there?

Isaac.

Uh, I'm sure there is.

( tense theme playing)

( upbeat theme playing)

So I looked all over the shop,

and I couldn't find the
earrings or a receipt.

And there's no extra
money in the cash drawer.

Could I have been
that wrong about her?

No.

No, there must be
some explanation.

( sighs)

Well, I certainly
can't ask Stephanie.

All her life, people have
always thought the worst of her.

If she thinks
I'm like that too...

Well, maybe you could find
out without asking directly.

Mm-hm.

How?

JULIE: Well, be
diplomatic, tactful.

There are ways to ask a question

without seeming
to ask a question.

And if you can bring that off,
we got another mission for you:

getting rid of Gopher's cologne.

( chuckles)

( melancholy theme playing)

( Italian folk music playing)

Doc, don't you just
love Italian Fiesta Night?

Love it? I love
everything Italian.

Italy's my favorite
country in the world.

Yeah?

♪ Arrivederci, Roma
Goodbye, goodbye to Rome ♪

Yeah, Doc, I believe
you. I believe you love it.

Good evening. Oh,
good evening, Mr. Beery.

Mr. Beery. Heh. Good
evening. Heh-heh.

( clears throat)

Christine.

I, uh...

I have to sit here.
It's my assigned table.

It's all right. I'll
find another place.

Christine.

Sit down.

I want to have dinner with you.

Well, as long as you're sure.

I'm sure.

Uh, waiter, I would like,
um, a shrimp cocktail,

small dinner salad,

oh, a-and the chicken Marengo.

You hate chicken Marengo.

I only hate chicken Marengo
when I am forced to eat it.

It is different when
I choose to eat it.

Nonsense. You're just
trying to please me again.

Oh, I am not. I... ( sniffles)

Ah, I...

Waiter, I will have
the chicken Marengo.

It is what I want.

Alan. ( sighs)

What?

Uh, nothing.

Well, that was a
short conversation.

I guess being with Libby's
got you all talked out.

It's, um, Libby I wanna
talk to you about.

Talk.

Heh. Well, I-I don't
know how to say this,

but today with Libby,

I felt, um, young for
the first time in years.

You know, I felt...

What are you trying to do?

Are you trying to make
us both look like fools?

I'm telling you how I feel.

I'm telling you how I feel.

What the hell's the
matter with you, Dad?

That girl's half your age.

I had the feeling
that she cared too.

You're my father!

She's just being nice to you.

( melancholy theme playing)

I'm sorry.

No, that's...
That's okay. It's...

There is no fool
like an old fool.

( chuckles)

That adage has been around
a lot longer than you have.

Dad.

Why don't you finish
getting dressed,

and the three of
us will have dinner?

No, look, why don't you and
Libby just have a meal alone?

Dad. No, no, please, please.

It would make me
happy. Tell her that, um...

Well, make up
some excuse for me.

You sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

( sighs)

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Ah, beat it.

Mustn't keep a
classy lady waiting.

( chuckles)

( door opens)

( door closes)

( sighs)

( Italian folk music playing)

Hi. Oh, hi.

I'm sorry I'm late. No problem.

Wanna see the
menu? Ah. Oh, please.

Where's your dad?

( exhales, chuckles)

I think he overdid
it in town today.

He said he'd see you
tomorrow. Tomorrow?

Tonight's the last night.

Ah.

He's all right?

Oh, certainly he's all right.

Of course. He's fine.

( sighs)

( clears throat)

Libby.

( chuckles)

Now, promise me you won't laugh,

but I think my father
has a crush on you.

( chuckles)

I'm sorry.

You know, everyone thinks
you're doing a great job

in the gift shop.

Thanks.

Must get kind of hectic
in there sometimes.

Yeah.

And tough to keep
track of everything.

Uh...

Can I ask you something?

What?

Do you mind not
hogging the bread?

Thanks.

( knocking on door)

Fine friend you are,
standing me up for dinner.

Well, didn't you see
Alan? I told him to tell you.

Woody, please don't let
Alan come between us.

Hey, I'm twice your age.

Heh. That is not you
talking. That is Alan talking.

( tender theme playing)

Well, he's right.

He's not right.

From the first moment I met you,

I felt something special.

I think you did too.

And then in town
today, uh... ( chuckles)

the most wonderful time

I've had in a long time.

Well, how about you and Alan?

Uh, Alan? Alan, we're friends.

We've dated a couple of times.

Anything more than that
is just in his imagination.

( romantic theme playing)

As for you, well,

you're everything that I
always wanted to have in a man.

You're warm and
compassionate and funny.

And gentle.

( laughs)

Ooh.

I think I'm falling in love.

You too?

( chuckles)

Oh, boy.

Ah, it's okay.

( sighs)

In the future, remind me not
to bring my women around you.

I wouldn't wanna be accused

of having a dirty
old man for a father.

( dramatic theme playing)

( gasps)

Oh, son, I'm... Oh, God.

Alan.

Never in his whole life

have I ever laid a
hand on him in anger.

I'm so sorry.

I've destroyed something
between you two.

I am so sorry. No, it's not...

It's not your fault.

I apologize.

Please forgive me.

( melancholy theme playing)

( sighs)

( melancholy theme swells)

( upbeat theme playing)

( light jazz music playing)

I know it's for
Gopher's own good,

but I still think it's a
cruel way to tell him.

Doc, it's a cruel cologne.

Hi, guys.

Okay, I get the message.

Hey, Doc, you wanna buy
an expensive cologne cheap?

STUBING: Isaac?

Yes, sir?

May I speak to you for a moment?

Certainly.

Have you made any
progress on the earrings?

Uh, no, sir, but I don't think

Stephanie had
anything to do with them.

Well, I wasn't going
to mention this,

but under the
circumstances, I...

What is it, sir?

I saw Stephanie with the
earrings this afternoon.

She was just
admiring them, but...

Yes, sir. I'll talk to her.

( upbeat theme playing)

It's beautiful.

Romantic.

( romantic theme playing)

Christine...

you don't have to sleep
in the bathtub tonight.

Stay with me instead.

I insist.

Well...

I'll, uh, find us a couple of
crème de menthe frappés,

and I'll meet you in the cabin.

But it cost me $15.

I'm sorry, Gopher.

You have no choice. Overboard.

That cologne you're wearing.

Tell... Tell me where
to get some, quick.

( inaudible dialogue)

Stephanie, there's something
that I have to ask you,

and I don't want you to
take this in the wrong way.

You showed a pair
of pearl earrings

to a passenger this afternoon?

Yeah. So?

She, um, came back
later to buy them,

but they were gone, and...

And I was wondering...

You were just
wondering if I stole them.

No. Oh, man, I knew it.

I knew I would get nailed
for something on this jive ship.

Stephanie, I... Oh, come on.

Wait a minute.
Now, look, hold on.

Don't talk to me.
Don't say a word.

I'll show you.

Stephanie, if you'd
just, you know, kind of...

Now, there are
your damn earrings.

I put 'em aside because I knew

that lady would be back for 'em.

But no. You think once a
thief, always a thief, right?

Well, you can take your
earrings and your job,

and you know what
you can do with them.

( melancholy theme playing)

C-Christine? Christine,
it... It's Freddums.

CHRISTINE: I'm just changing
into something comfortable.

Oh. Oh, fine, fine. Uh,
you... You... You... You...

You just take your
time, Christine.

Old Freddums will be waiting.

( romantic theme playing)

Oh, Christine.

What can I say, Fred?

This is comfortable.

Oh, my.

Oh, you're... You're beautiful.

( laughs)

Don't be silly.

Well, go get your pajamas
on so we can go to bed.

( melancholy theme playing)

Alan.

I'm sorry.

No, Dad.

I'm the one that
should be sorry.

Oh, yeah? I'll bet I'm
sorrier than you are.

( laughs)

Um... can I buy you a brandy?

You're on. Okay. Heh.

( romantic theme playing)

I, uh...

I found out how
much I depend on you.

Well, you know, I...

I really have taken you
too much for granted.

I... I love you,
Christine. I do, I do.

Tell me you still love me.

Oh, I do love you, Fred. I do.

I love you.

Just like a brother.

Christine.

What did you do, rub your
body with chicken Marengo?

( playful theme playing)

LIBBY: Heh. Alan, Alan, Alan.

Alan, I don't want
to go to your cabin.

Well, that's too bad.

Besides, you owe
me a rain check.

Now, before we
go in, let me just...

Let me just tell
you a little story.

When I was a kid,

my dad used to take
me to school every day.

We'd get off the
bus on the corner,

and we'd race to the playground.

I'd be ahead, and
then he'd pass me by.

And then just
before we got there,

I'd grab ahold of his coattails

and I'd push on past him.

I used to win every morning.

So?

Well, it wasn't until
a few years later

that I figured out that my
dad was letting me win...

( chuckles)

'cause I felt like a man

when I would beat him.

( sighs)

That's how I...

Libby, that... That's the
way that I felt with you.

I felt like I was back in
a race with my father.

( chuckles)

( melancholy theme playing)

Well, the race is over.

I don't think anybody won.

No, it's not over,

not until somebody
crosses that finish line.

( romantic theme playing)

Alan.

Yes?

( chuckles)

( upbeat theme playing)

Man, I really blew
it with Stephanie.

She was just starting
to trust people.

And now I can't even
find her to talk to her.

Isaac, you were
following orders.

If I'd only had a
little more faith in her.

( knocking on door)

Come in.

Yes?

( sighs)

I took them.

You what?

I, um... Oh, I
stole the earrings.

But, Stephanie...

Before dinner, I went
and put them back.

But it doesn't make
any difference, does it?

I still took them.

Stephanie.

Send me back to
the correction center.

That's where I belong.

STUBING: Young lady,

I have only one
thing to say to you.

You're late for work.

Huh?

We'll be in port soon, and
you have to take inventory.

You have five minutes to
get down to the gift shop.

Inventory, you know,
that's when you make a list.

I know what
inventory is, jive turkey.

Oh, captain, how
can I thank you?

Now you have four minutes.

( upbeat theme playing)

( chuckles)

( door closes)

( chuckles)

You're something else.

( chuckles)

Thank you.

Isaac, tell me,

what exactly is a jive turkey?

( upbeat theme playing)

( upbeat theme playing)

Oh, please, Chris...
Please, Christine, marry me.

Fred, you're creating a scene.

No, I don't care who
knows it, I love you.

Do you hear? I love
this lady! I love her!

What has gotten into you?

Christine, you must marry me.

( sneezes)

( sniffs)

I don't want to force you.

Now, whenever you want.
You just take your time.

( stammers): Just
say in a day. A week.

A month. A... A... Forever.
I don't care, I'll wait.

( Christine sneezes)

( chuckles)

If you don't mind my
saying so, Miss Hall,

you were one of the most
beautiful ladies on this cruise.

Gopher, that is not a
thing to say to a lady

who's about to be a
mother in two weeks.

Wait, you're gonna
be a mother in...?

Yes, his.

( laughs)

Let's get going. Okay. Heh.

( upbeat theme playing)

( upbeat theme playing)