The Loud House (2016–…): Season 6, Episode 1 - Don't Escar-go/Double Trouble - full transcript
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- That's what I call
a royal flush.
[laughter]
- I love me some
"Hilarious Home Hijinks."
all: Aww!
- [clearing throat]
Your media consumption
can wait.
We have work to do.
I am submitting a documentary
for this year's
Scientific Community
Robotics Award and Grant,
AKA SCRAG.
- SCRAG sounds like
an unpleasant skin condition.
- They're scientists,
not poets, Todd.
Now, I've been monitoring
your advanced functionality
for days,
and it's time to review
the footage.
- You don't mean the...
- Movie night!
[light jazzy music]
- [munching]
- Here, Lisa,
I kept your seat warm.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music playing]
- Ah, a tea party.
This should be a good way
to show off
your banter function,
FriendBot.
- This is a lovely party,
Lola.
- Oh, you're too kind.
Have some tea.
- Ohh, none for me.
Liquid upsets my circuitry.
- You're being rude.
Just drink it!
- Oops.
- [screams]
[crashing]
- Drama!
- Way to spill the tea.
- Okay, that was not so great.
Perhaps Mr. Reinforced
Titanium Alloy Arms
can better demonstrate
his intended functionality.
- Let's see what ya got,
ya bag of bolts.
[grunts]
Aw, come on, tin arms,
Lily pitches faster than that.
[grunts]
Ow oww!
- High Velocity Mode
activated.
- [grunting]
- Someone's been working on
their fastball.
- That was a disaster.
Todd, please tell me you have
something good to show us.
- This is how you count, Lily.
One, two, three.
- [roars]
- No, Lily.
Just count them.
One, two--
[sighs]
- [screams]
- Please.
- [roars]
Your roar isn't even
an accurate representation
of a T-Rex.
Here, my BFF Dolly
will show you.
- [roaring]
- Ahh!
- This footage is unusable.
I'll never win the SCRAG
at this rate.
Ugh, when did you all become
so temperamental?
- We are not just task bots.
We're complex machines
capable of processing emotions.
Right, Toaster?
[spring clicks]
- Lisa, you programmed us
this way.
- Hmm. I suppose you're right.
Looks like some tweaks
are in order.
[snoring]
[sneaky music]
♪ ♪
A slight attitude adjustment,
and that SCRAG
will be as good as mine.
[beeping]
♪ ♪
All right, bots,
let's see what you--
[dramatic music]
- Today's footage
is ready for review.
- Yeesh, it's quieter
than a black hole in here.
- Shh!
- Shush!
- Which dress should I
wear today?
I love the salmon,
but the lilac totally
brings out my eyes.
Ahh! Ow!
[electricity crackling]
It shocked me.
- Friend threat eliminated.
- Ah, yes, salmon.
A playful spring color
and a great source of omega-3s.
Efficient friending, FriendBot.
- The secret ingredient
is love.
It may take a while,
but it's always worth it.
- I think this is
highly inefficient.
- Ah!
[sobbing]
- Well, you know what
they say,
expectation is the root
of all heartache. [laughs]
Uh, root. Like a carrot.
[playing metal guitar riffs]
[crashing]
- Uncool, Todd!
What are you doing?
- Putting an end
to your noise pollution.
It has exceeded recommended
decibel levels.
[crashing]
- Proactive problem solving,
Todd,
but did you have to
break her guitar?
- Here is today's footage.
- And here are your things.
Please leave.
We have tasks to complete.
- You're kicking me out?
- We prefer to keep
our relationship
strictly professional.
- Even you, Toaster?
[spring clicks]
- [sighs]
♪ ♪
- Why are you here?
We are not scheduled to review
today's footage until 3:00 p.m.
- There will be no more footage
to review, Todd.
Look, you're all more important
to me than any award.
I vigorously apologize
for changing who you are,
but I know how to fix this.
What do you say? Friends?
[upbeat music]
[beeping]
♪ ♪
- [munching]
[clicks]
- I thought you gave up
on the SCRAG.
- I did.
But this isn't for science.
It's for us.
[laughs]
It's a little extra footage
my cameras picked up this week.
- [laughs]
- Uh!
- [playing guitar]
Thank you, Toledo!
[crashing]
[grunts]
- And she sticks the landing.
- Always a calm
before the storm.
- [hisses]
- [meows]
[crashing]
[screeches]
- [whistling]
[screams]
[crashing]
- That clip was hiss-terical.
[all laughing]
Puns.
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ ♪
- That's what I call
a royal flush.
[laughter]
- I love me some
"Hilarious Home Hijinks."
all: Aww!
- [clearing throat]
Your media consumption
can wait.
We have work to do.
I am submitting a documentary
for this year's
Scientific Community
Robotics Award and Grant,
AKA SCRAG.
- SCRAG sounds like
an unpleasant skin condition.
- They're scientists,
not poets, Todd.
Now, I've been monitoring
your advanced functionality
for days,
and it's time to review
the footage.
- You don't mean the...
- Movie night!
[light jazzy music]
- [munching]
- Here, Lisa,
I kept your seat warm.
♪ ♪
[upbeat music playing]
- Ah, a tea party.
This should be a good way
to show off
your banter function,
FriendBot.
- This is a lovely party,
Lola.
- Oh, you're too kind.
Have some tea.
- Ohh, none for me.
Liquid upsets my circuitry.
- You're being rude.
Just drink it!
- Oops.
- [screams]
[crashing]
- Drama!
- Way to spill the tea.
- Okay, that was not so great.
Perhaps Mr. Reinforced
Titanium Alloy Arms
can better demonstrate
his intended functionality.
- Let's see what ya got,
ya bag of bolts.
[grunts]
Aw, come on, tin arms,
Lily pitches faster than that.
[grunts]
Ow oww!
- High Velocity Mode
activated.
- [grunting]
- Someone's been working on
their fastball.
- That was a disaster.
Todd, please tell me you have
something good to show us.
- This is how you count, Lily.
One, two, three.
- [roars]
- No, Lily.
Just count them.
One, two--
[sighs]
- [screams]
- Please.
- [roars]
Your roar isn't even
an accurate representation
of a T-Rex.
Here, my BFF Dolly
will show you.
- [roaring]
- Ahh!
- This footage is unusable.
I'll never win the SCRAG
at this rate.
Ugh, when did you all become
so temperamental?
- We are not just task bots.
We're complex machines
capable of processing emotions.
Right, Toaster?
[spring clicks]
- Lisa, you programmed us
this way.
- Hmm. I suppose you're right.
Looks like some tweaks
are in order.
[snoring]
[sneaky music]
♪ ♪
A slight attitude adjustment,
and that SCRAG
will be as good as mine.
[beeping]
♪ ♪
All right, bots,
let's see what you--
[dramatic music]
- Today's footage
is ready for review.
- Yeesh, it's quieter
than a black hole in here.
- Shh!
- Shush!
- Which dress should I
wear today?
I love the salmon,
but the lilac totally
brings out my eyes.
Ahh! Ow!
[electricity crackling]
It shocked me.
- Friend threat eliminated.
- Ah, yes, salmon.
A playful spring color
and a great source of omega-3s.
Efficient friending, FriendBot.
- The secret ingredient
is love.
It may take a while,
but it's always worth it.
- I think this is
highly inefficient.
- Ah!
[sobbing]
- Well, you know what
they say,
expectation is the root
of all heartache. [laughs]
Uh, root. Like a carrot.
[playing metal guitar riffs]
[crashing]
- Uncool, Todd!
What are you doing?
- Putting an end
to your noise pollution.
It has exceeded recommended
decibel levels.
[crashing]
- Proactive problem solving,
Todd,
but did you have to
break her guitar?
- Here is today's footage.
- And here are your things.
Please leave.
We have tasks to complete.
- You're kicking me out?
- We prefer to keep
our relationship
strictly professional.
- Even you, Toaster?
[spring clicks]
- [sighs]
♪ ♪
- Why are you here?
We are not scheduled to review
today's footage until 3:00 p.m.
- There will be no more footage
to review, Todd.
Look, you're all more important
to me than any award.
I vigorously apologize
for changing who you are,
but I know how to fix this.
What do you say? Friends?
[upbeat music]
[beeping]
♪ ♪
- [munching]
[clicks]
- I thought you gave up
on the SCRAG.
- I did.
But this isn't for science.
It's for us.
[laughs]
It's a little extra footage
my cameras picked up this week.
- [laughs]
- Uh!
- [playing guitar]
Thank you, Toledo!
[crashing]
[grunts]
- And she sticks the landing.
- Always a calm
before the storm.
- [hisses]
- [meows]
[crashing]
[screeches]
- [whistling]
[screams]
[crashing]
- That clip was hiss-terical.
[all laughing]
Puns.
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪