The Loud House (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Roadie to Nowhere/A Fridge Too Far - full transcript
After learning that Chunk was like her in high school, Luna worries her ambition to be a rocker is unrealistic. When food Lincoln has saved in the fridge gets taken, a territory war in the fridge ensues.
- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪
♪ Loud house ♪
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[typing on phones]
- Ooh, my last post
got 100 likes.
New record. Look.
- So cute. You've really found
your best angle.
- Thanks. Not to brag,
but I kinda feel like
I've mastered the selfie.
- Oh, totes.
Your pic almost got as many
likes as Carol Pingrey's.
- [gasp]
[bell rings]
Ow. Carol Pingrey?
I didn't even know
she was on this app.
- She just joined.
Can you believe
her first selfie got
101 likes?
- Give me that.
Ugh, typical.
Perfect Carol Pingrey
has to one-up me
in everything I do.
- Don't feel bad Lori.
You sold almost
as many cookies as Carol.
Oh, don't feel bad, Lori,
you got almost as many
votes as Carol.
Yay, Lori! You got
way more points than Carol.
- Thanks, Leni. But let me
explain golf scoring. Again.
Uhh! I'm sick of it.
I've literally been working
for three months
to get this many likes
on my photos.
I am not letting Carol
waltz in here
and show me up again!
I swear on
my senior parking space,
my next selfie will get
more likes than Carol Pingrey!
- Yay! Go Lori!
Um, could I have my phone back
so I can like Carol's photo?
I don't wanna be rude.
- Okay, got my soft lighting,
my flowers.
Time for the mirror selfie.
Literally a classic.
[bubbling]
- And, done!
- Lana! What are you doing?!
- Installing
a dual-flush valve.
- Get out.
- I thought you,
of all people, would appreciate
the pressure-assisted flush.
- Out!
Yeah, that's not gonna
beat Carol.
Delete.
Okay, got my sun hat,
my SPF
and my strawberry lemonade
with a little umbrella.
Time for the
fun-in-the-sun selfie.
Always a crowd pleaser.
- Loud takes a wicked cutand...
Dang it, Lynn!
- I'm the one
who should be cheesed.
You just robbed me
of a double.
- Let's try this again.
- Poo poo.
- I can't change you
right now, Lily.
Go ask someone else.
- Poo poo!
- Ahh!
40 minute scalding hot shower.
Let's do this again.
[shutter clicks]
Ahh!
Literally?
- Sorry,
but I've claimed this area
for my cemetery.
- Ugh!
Ahh!
[growls]
Okay. Doors locked,
siblings gone.
Perfect conditions for
the lost-in-thought selfie.
Mysterious, yet intriguing.
[growls]
Lincoln, move your dumb toy.
You're photobombing me.
- Oops, sorry.
[beeping]
- Ahh! My hair!
It's not fair.
I'm never going to be able
to take a decent picture with
my insane siblings everywhere.
[gasps] Hmm.
Hey, guys, who wants to help me
rake leaves?
We could really make
the yard look nice.
[brakes screech]
- Ew, no.
- Sorry!
- I was just leaving!
- Do I know my siblings
or what?
[phone rings]
[beep]
[ringing]
- Hey, babe.
- Sorry, Boo Boo Bear,
our daily 4:00 phone chat
will have to wait.
I need to take the perfect
leaf-jumping selfie.
- That's gonna be
kinda hard, babe
but leaves don't jump.
- Not the leaves, Bobby. Me.
- Oh, okay, cool.
Yeah, well,
I just need someone
to talk to, you know.
I have that dentist appointment
I had told you about,
and I'm kinda nervous.
- Sorry, Bobby.
Can we talk about this later?
The light won't be
this good forever.
Love you. Bye!
Okay, scarf draped,
leaves piled, timer set.
Here we go.
Whee!
Ow!
Okay, forget leaves.
Let's do a good, old-fashioned
tire swing selfie.
[buzzing]
Ahh! Bees!
Okay, forget tires.
How about a rainy day selfie?
[hose gulps]
Ugh, where's my rain?
Ahh!
Forget rainy days.
Let's do a tractor selfie.
Those are a thing, right?
Wow, it's actually
literally perfect.
And I didn't hurt myself.
[gear shifts]
Ahh! Uh! Ow.
100 likes. Thank you, Chaz.
101 likes. Thank you, random
person from golf camp.
And yes! 102 likes.
Thank you, Aunt Ruth.
And in your face,
Carol Pingrey.
[cracking]
Guh!
So sore.
- Cute tractor selfie, Lori.
- [humming]
Thanks, Leni.
- It got almost
as many likes as Carol's.
- [gasps]
Lemme see that.
That rat!
- I think it's a corgi.
- No, it's a dirty trick,
putting a cute,
loveable animal in her selfie
to get more likes than me.
Well, guess what, Carol?
Cute, loveable animals
are my middle name.
- I thought it was Marie.
- Get back here, you animals!
These tiny sweaters
are literally
the perfect size for you!
[shutter clicking]
[barking, growling]
[screams]
[sighs]
- Come in.
- Um, Lola, you're good
at photo retouching, right?
- I think my work
speaks for itself.
Let's see what you got.
[inhales sharply]
Ooh, this is gonna cost you
some serious cupcakes.
[shimmering tone]
- 103 likes.
Take that, Carol.
And nice work, Lola.
- Thank you.
Milk, please.
- Cute pet selfie, Lori.
It got almost as many likes
as Carol's coffee shop selfie.
- What?!
[growling]
[phone ringing]
Not now, Bobby.
I've got a crisis.
[light music]
- Look, I'll play a barista
but I am not
wearing suspenders.
- This has to look
like a real coffee shop.
Now, do you want a ride to the
comic book store later or not?
- [sighs]
- Okay, so now you guys pretend
to laugh at something
I've just said.
- Ooh! Was it
coffee-related humor?
- It doesn't matter, Luan.
- Maybe you said this:
Why'd the hipster
burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee
before it was cool.
[laughs]
- Yes! 105 likes.
[boinging]
Lincoln, you can take
the suspenders off now.
- Actually they're kind of
working for me.
- Leni, please do not tell me
that Carol outdid me
with a selfie of her sailing
or icing a cake
or swimming with dolphins.
- Nope.
But she did get the most likes
ever for a picnic selfie.
- [gasps]
- Picnics are totes
trending right now.
[dialing]
- Babe, oh, I'm so happy
you called
- Boo Boo Bear, we literally
need to go on
a picnic right now.
- Right now? Babe, you know
I love picnics,
but we live three hours apart.
I'm just about to get into my--
- Bobby!
This is life or death.
Meet me at the rest stop
by exit 57 at 4:00, sharp.
- Umm,
I think I can make it
there by five.
- Guh, fine. I guess picnics
will still be trending then.
But no later. And wear your red
button down if it's ironed.
If not, wear your teal polo.
Please, do not
mess up my color scheme!
♪ ♪
Huh. This should do.
Ugh! Where is Bobby?
[wind gusting]
Ahh!
Boo Boo Bear!
[gasp] You made it.
[mumbling]
Ohh, babe!
- What did you do to yourself?
Uh, good thing
I brought scarves.
Maybe can hide the swelling.
Or I could just
shoot you from behind.
- Babe, I got
my wisdom teeth out, remember?
I told you weeks ago.
- Oh, my gosh. You did.
Boo Boo Bear, I am so sorry.
I've been so selfish.
I can't believe
you still drove all this way.
Especially after what
you've been through.
- Oh, babe, I would drive
to the moon for you.
- [sobbing]
Ohh, Boo Boo Bear.
You know what?
Forget about the dumb selfie.
Let's just make the most
of our time together.
I can't believe I've been
so obsessed
with trying to beat
Carol Pingrey.
Maybe she is better
than me at everything.
But who cares?
I still have
lots of great things
in my life.
Like a really amazing
boyfriend, for starters.
Aww, Boo Boo Bear.
- [gasps] Ice chip
in tooth socket.
- Hi, I'd like to return
all this picnic stuff.
I don't need it anymore.
[dramatic music]
[gasps] Carol.
[inhales deeply]
Um, Carol?
- [gasps]
Uh--uh, hi, Lori.
- I know this is literally
the most awkward thing
in the world,
but I just wanna tell you
that you win.
You've been better than me at
everything since kindergarten.
But I'm okay with it.
I can't live my life
trying to compete
with you anymore.
Well, enjoy your shopping.
- Lori, wait.
You think I'm
better than you?
I kinda thought it was
the other way around.
I--I mean, you made
the varsity golf team
when we were freshmen.
No one else did that.
And you have ten siblings
who all look up to you.
[laughs] And don't get me
started on your hair.
I will never have volume
like that. [laughs]
This takes, like,
six cans of dry shampoo.
And it's still flat.
- Wow.
So all of our competing
has literally been pointless?
- It's true.
Those selfies
were getting out of control.
I had to adopt that corgi
and he's mean.
- I fell into a grave. Twice.
[both laugh]
- We're ridiculous.
I'm so glad we're done
with all this.
- Me too. Hey, I just had
a crazy idea.
What if we made it official
by taking a selfie together?
- Shut up!
Looking like this?
- Yeah! I mean,
who cares, right?
[shutters click]
both: Post.
- Cute pic of you and Carol.
You guys got tons of likes.
- Thank, Leni. But I don't even
care about that anymore.
- Almost as many
as Bianca and Sooyoung.
[phone rings]
- Hey, Carol, I just did.
I know.
They think they can beat us
with a BFF selfie?
Oh, it is so on.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[alarm ringing]
- Wake up, everybody.
Time to get ready for school.
[all complaining]
- Come on, Luna!
There's nine more people
that need the bathroom.
- One sec, bro.
I can't leave until
I hit this high note.
♪ Getting ready for school ♪
Wait, not quite.
♪ School ♪
♪ School ♪
- She shoots, she scores!
- Ahh!
- Is that necessary?
- What?
It's a waste of a shower
if you haven't
worked up a sweat.
- Or gotten dirty.
Ahh.
- Excuse me?
Can you keep it down, please?
You know I require at least
eight hours of beauty sleep.
- Um--
- Ahh!
- What's up with Lola?
Why isn't she getting ready
for school?
- It's pageant season,
so she's home schooling
to have more time
for rehearsal.
- [scoffs] Home school?
AKA, sleep in,
do a little bit of school work,
then goof off
for the rest of the day.
- Yeah, lucky.
She gets to live it up
on Easy Street
for a whole week.
- Uh, actually, this year
it's six weeks.
- Six weeks?
- Lola needs time
during the day to prepare
for her pageants.
- I have basketball practice,
football practice,
lacrosse tryouts
and a hockey game,
all before Thursday.
- And I have two
graveside services
back-to-back tomorrow
at cemeteries on opposite
sides of town.
- I'm dumpster diving with Flip
every day
after school this week.
- And I'm speaking about
sodium sulfate at the science
club after school tomorrow.
- All while Lola gets to sleep
in as late as she wants.
- And not have to wait
in line for the bathroom.
- And she can eat whatever she
wants out of the fridge.
- Hey, we should get
to be home schooled too.
- Guys, Mom and Dad would never
let us actually do it.
- But what if they did?
And Lynn has her lacrosse,
Lori has her golf,
Luna has her band,
Luan has her clowning business.
- We know. We drive you kids
to all those things.
- So what do you say?
Can we be home schooled, too?
- Well, Lola has done well
with home schooling
the last few years.
Maybe that's just what
this family needs.
[all cheering]
- There's just one thing.
I will be home,
but I'll be busy
working on my book,
so you kids will have to
be responsible for getting
all your work done
or it's back to regular school.
[all agreeing]
- Guess who has 18 thumbs
and is also doing home school?
Us guys.
- What?!
Why do you guys
need home school?
- You're not the only one
who deserves
a flexible schedule.
We happen to lead
very busy lives.
- Yep, and now we get to
goof off all day with you.
- It's not goofing off!
You know we still have
school work, right?
- You mean our workbooks?
We have all week
to get them done.
A walk in the cemetery.
- Yeah, if you can manage it,
I'm sure we can.
- Okay, but be careful.
The work sneaks up on you.
- This is the life.
Right, dudes?
- I'll say. Just think,
on a normal day,
I'd be reading kindergarten
math books
and now I get to read
this college math book.
- I think you're missing
the point, Lisa.
- You goof off your way,
I'll goof off mine.
- Ace Savvy,
deep in the Amazon jungle,
searches for the hidden lair of
the evil villain Blackjack.
Will he find the--
- Look out!
It's the Mantis Queen!
[roars]
- Whoa! Ahh!
- [growls]
- Oh, no! Uh!
[laughter]
- 1,006.
- Hey, guys, it's 2:00.
Shouldn't you hit the books?
- It's two already?
- I guess we should
do some work.
- Thanks for reminding us,Lola.
Work book page one.
"Please read all contents
carefully."
♪ ♪
- Boom. One page down.
[phone chimes]
- [gasps]
I don't wanna interrupt
our flow,
but Chaz just sent me
a totes amazing cat video.
Wanna see?
- Yeah.
- Me too, me too.
- Is it a black cat?
[cat meows]
- Now, where were we?
Oh, right.
[clears throat]
Work book page one.
"Please read all contents
carefully."
[ice cream truck music]
- Ooh! Ice cream truck!
[all cheering]
- Hey, Louds! I see
you're enjoying my new CD
of classic ice cream truck
jingles.
Ooh, this one really swings.
- Man, now I really
want ice cream.
- Let's go. We've earned it.
We already read
the first page twice.
- Hey, Lola,
ice cream break.
- I can't I have
ribbon dancing rehearsal.
- She really needs to work on
her work-life balance.
- How fun has this week been?
- Home school! Home school!
Home school!
[laughter]
- It has been great,
but we should probably
do those work book thingies
tomorrow.
- True, we did promise Mom
we'd get all of our work done.
- Hm, then again,
tomorrow is Friday.
So it's practically
the weekend already.
Might as well wait till Monday
to get a fresh start.
- Good call, brah.
- Why are you guys still
yammering?
Go to bed already.
We have a test
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.
- Test? What test?
- [scoffs] That's how
home school works.
You take a test every Friday
to make sure
you've been learning instead of
slacking off all week.
Ugh!
- What?
Why didn't anyone tell us that?
- Hello? It's on page two
of your work books.
[all gasp]
- All the way on page two?
Well, of course
we didn't see it.
- [gasps] But if we don't pass,
that means--
- Yep, back to
[voice slowed]
regular school.
[all gasp]
- What are we gonna do? I don't
wanna go back to school!
[all complaining]
- Okay, well, I sympathize
with your plight, siblings.
But I, myself am not worried
about a simple examination
on the subject of--
[gasps]
[bell ringing]
What now?
"Kindergarteners will be graded
on their week's worth
of arts and crafts projects."
Ahh! Arts and crafts
are my Achilles heel.
Stubby digits.
- Come on, guys.
We can all still pass.
Even you, Lisa.
We'll just need
to pull an all-nighter
and really study.
- Lincoln's right.
No more distractions.
all: Agreed.
[ice cream truck music]
- [laughs] Evening, Louds.
[all grumbling]
- Okay, now that
that's out of the way,
we really gotta buckle down.
- To increase our chances
of success,
I suggest we find
an environment free of
any and all distractions.
- I don't think you'll all
fit into my coffin.
- I have
an alternate suggestion.
- Wow, you're gonna
let us inside
your super top secret bunker?
- Yes.
But don't get any ideas.
I will be changing
the access code.
- All right, guys.
Let's get crackin'.
- [clicks tongue]
- Would you mind
not doing that?
- Doing what?
[clicks tongue]
- [stomach rumbles]
[laughs]
- Hey, shut your gut.
I'm trying to read over here.
- How can you hear my stomach
over Luna's tapping foot?
- I'm just trying
to drown out the noise
of Lucy chewing her pen.
- [munching] It helps me focus.
Otherwise, all I can think
about is Lori's perfume.
- Um, would you rather smell
Lana's grubby, old hat?
- Wow.
[all arguing]
[air horn blasting]
- Guys, guys.
This isn't working.
- Don't touch that.
It's to scare away
post-apocalyptic mutants
and/or Mr. Grouse.
- How does Lola pull this off
every year?
- I don't know.
She must have figured out
something we haven't.
- You know what we have
to do, right?
[together] Yes.
- No.
Uh, yes.
Okay, no.
What's up?
- Someone's going to have to
interrupt Lola's beauty sleep
and ask her for help.
- But she needs
the full eight hours!
- Or else she can't
function properly.
- And she's a biter.
Well, someone's gotta do it.
all: Dibs, not it!
- Dang it!
- [snoring]
Can I help you?!
- Uh! Sorry! I'm sorry!
We need your help
to study for our test.
- Now? I'm in the middle
of my beauty sleep.
I've been warning you all week
that you need to do your work.
- We tried but failed
miserably.
- Lola, we literally
had no idea
that home school
would be this hard.
Please, tell us your secret.
- There is no secret.
It's just hard work
and discipline.
- Well, I'm out.
- It's too late for discipline,
but can you teach us
how to do the hard work part?
- Ugh, Lincoln!
Fine! But you guys owe me.
I see a lot of tea parties
in your future.
♪ ♪
- Okay, guys.
Time's up, pencils down.
Or in your case, Lisa,
pipe cleaners.
Well, it was a close call,
but congratulations,
you all passed!
[all cheering]
- Well, almost all of you.
Lola, honey, you didn't even
finish your test.
- I'm sorry, sweetie,
but it's back
to regular school on Monday.
- But Mom,
then I won't have time
to practice for my pageants.
- I'm sorry, Lola.
You knew the rules.
Now you have to
pay the consequences.
♪ ♪
[alarm ringing]
♪ ♪
- Aww.
What the--what are you guys
doing up so early?
I thought you like to start
your home schooling at two.
- Actually, we're all going
back to regular school.
- Huh?
- It's our fault
you didn't pass your test.
We kept you up all night
helping us study,
that you were too tired
to take your own test.
- We talked to Mom and Dad
and they agreed
to give you a second chance.
- And this way,
we won't be here
to distract you.
- You're all willing
to go back to regular school
just for me?
Thanks, you guys!
- Who's next?
[school bus arriving]
- Ahh! Is that the bus?
- Oh, no, we're late!
[dramatic music]
- Hey, Louds!
How do you like my new CD
of classic school bus sounds?
- Uh, seriously?
[all complaining]
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪
♪ Loud house ♪
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[typing on phones]
- Ooh, my last post
got 100 likes.
New record. Look.
- So cute. You've really found
your best angle.
- Thanks. Not to brag,
but I kinda feel like
I've mastered the selfie.
- Oh, totes.
Your pic almost got as many
likes as Carol Pingrey's.
- [gasp]
[bell rings]
Ow. Carol Pingrey?
I didn't even know
she was on this app.
- She just joined.
Can you believe
her first selfie got
101 likes?
- Give me that.
Ugh, typical.
Perfect Carol Pingrey
has to one-up me
in everything I do.
- Don't feel bad Lori.
You sold almost
as many cookies as Carol.
Oh, don't feel bad, Lori,
you got almost as many
votes as Carol.
Yay, Lori! You got
way more points than Carol.
- Thanks, Leni. But let me
explain golf scoring. Again.
Uhh! I'm sick of it.
I've literally been working
for three months
to get this many likes
on my photos.
I am not letting Carol
waltz in here
and show me up again!
I swear on
my senior parking space,
my next selfie will get
more likes than Carol Pingrey!
- Yay! Go Lori!
Um, could I have my phone back
so I can like Carol's photo?
I don't wanna be rude.
- Okay, got my soft lighting,
my flowers.
Time for the mirror selfie.
Literally a classic.
[bubbling]
- And, done!
- Lana! What are you doing?!
- Installing
a dual-flush valve.
- Get out.
- I thought you,
of all people, would appreciate
the pressure-assisted flush.
- Out!
Yeah, that's not gonna
beat Carol.
Delete.
Okay, got my sun hat,
my SPF
and my strawberry lemonade
with a little umbrella.
Time for the
fun-in-the-sun selfie.
Always a crowd pleaser.
- Loud takes a wicked cutand...
Dang it, Lynn!
- I'm the one
who should be cheesed.
You just robbed me
of a double.
- Let's try this again.
- Poo poo.
- I can't change you
right now, Lily.
Go ask someone else.
- Poo poo!
- Ahh!
40 minute scalding hot shower.
Let's do this again.
[shutter clicks]
Ahh!
Literally?
- Sorry,
but I've claimed this area
for my cemetery.
- Ugh!
Ahh!
[growls]
Okay. Doors locked,
siblings gone.
Perfect conditions for
the lost-in-thought selfie.
Mysterious, yet intriguing.
[growls]
Lincoln, move your dumb toy.
You're photobombing me.
- Oops, sorry.
[beeping]
- Ahh! My hair!
It's not fair.
I'm never going to be able
to take a decent picture with
my insane siblings everywhere.
[gasps] Hmm.
Hey, guys, who wants to help me
rake leaves?
We could really make
the yard look nice.
[brakes screech]
- Ew, no.
- Sorry!
- I was just leaving!
- Do I know my siblings
or what?
[phone rings]
[beep]
[ringing]
- Hey, babe.
- Sorry, Boo Boo Bear,
our daily 4:00 phone chat
will have to wait.
I need to take the perfect
leaf-jumping selfie.
- That's gonna be
kinda hard, babe
but leaves don't jump.
- Not the leaves, Bobby. Me.
- Oh, okay, cool.
Yeah, well,
I just need someone
to talk to, you know.
I have that dentist appointment
I had told you about,
and I'm kinda nervous.
- Sorry, Bobby.
Can we talk about this later?
The light won't be
this good forever.
Love you. Bye!
Okay, scarf draped,
leaves piled, timer set.
Here we go.
Whee!
Ow!
Okay, forget leaves.
Let's do a good, old-fashioned
tire swing selfie.
[buzzing]
Ahh! Bees!
Okay, forget tires.
How about a rainy day selfie?
[hose gulps]
Ugh, where's my rain?
Ahh!
Forget rainy days.
Let's do a tractor selfie.
Those are a thing, right?
Wow, it's actually
literally perfect.
And I didn't hurt myself.
[gear shifts]
Ahh! Uh! Ow.
100 likes. Thank you, Chaz.
101 likes. Thank you, random
person from golf camp.
And yes! 102 likes.
Thank you, Aunt Ruth.
And in your face,
Carol Pingrey.
[cracking]
Guh!
So sore.
- Cute tractor selfie, Lori.
- [humming]
Thanks, Leni.
- It got almost
as many likes as Carol's.
- [gasps]
Lemme see that.
That rat!
- I think it's a corgi.
- No, it's a dirty trick,
putting a cute,
loveable animal in her selfie
to get more likes than me.
Well, guess what, Carol?
Cute, loveable animals
are my middle name.
- I thought it was Marie.
- Get back here, you animals!
These tiny sweaters
are literally
the perfect size for you!
[shutter clicking]
[barking, growling]
[screams]
[sighs]
- Come in.
- Um, Lola, you're good
at photo retouching, right?
- I think my work
speaks for itself.
Let's see what you got.
[inhales sharply]
Ooh, this is gonna cost you
some serious cupcakes.
[shimmering tone]
- 103 likes.
Take that, Carol.
And nice work, Lola.
- Thank you.
Milk, please.
- Cute pet selfie, Lori.
It got almost as many likes
as Carol's coffee shop selfie.
- What?!
[growling]
[phone ringing]
Not now, Bobby.
I've got a crisis.
[light music]
- Look, I'll play a barista
but I am not
wearing suspenders.
- This has to look
like a real coffee shop.
Now, do you want a ride to the
comic book store later or not?
- [sighs]
- Okay, so now you guys pretend
to laugh at something
I've just said.
- Ooh! Was it
coffee-related humor?
- It doesn't matter, Luan.
- Maybe you said this:
Why'd the hipster
burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee
before it was cool.
[laughs]
- Yes! 105 likes.
[boinging]
Lincoln, you can take
the suspenders off now.
- Actually they're kind of
working for me.
- Leni, please do not tell me
that Carol outdid me
with a selfie of her sailing
or icing a cake
or swimming with dolphins.
- Nope.
But she did get the most likes
ever for a picnic selfie.
- [gasps]
- Picnics are totes
trending right now.
[dialing]
- Babe, oh, I'm so happy
you called
- Boo Boo Bear, we literally
need to go on
a picnic right now.
- Right now? Babe, you know
I love picnics,
but we live three hours apart.
I'm just about to get into my--
- Bobby!
This is life or death.
Meet me at the rest stop
by exit 57 at 4:00, sharp.
- Umm,
I think I can make it
there by five.
- Guh, fine. I guess picnics
will still be trending then.
But no later. And wear your red
button down if it's ironed.
If not, wear your teal polo.
Please, do not
mess up my color scheme!
♪ ♪
Huh. This should do.
Ugh! Where is Bobby?
[wind gusting]
Ahh!
Boo Boo Bear!
[gasp] You made it.
[mumbling]
Ohh, babe!
- What did you do to yourself?
Uh, good thing
I brought scarves.
Maybe can hide the swelling.
Or I could just
shoot you from behind.
- Babe, I got
my wisdom teeth out, remember?
I told you weeks ago.
- Oh, my gosh. You did.
Boo Boo Bear, I am so sorry.
I've been so selfish.
I can't believe
you still drove all this way.
Especially after what
you've been through.
- Oh, babe, I would drive
to the moon for you.
- [sobbing]
Ohh, Boo Boo Bear.
You know what?
Forget about the dumb selfie.
Let's just make the most
of our time together.
I can't believe I've been
so obsessed
with trying to beat
Carol Pingrey.
Maybe she is better
than me at everything.
But who cares?
I still have
lots of great things
in my life.
Like a really amazing
boyfriend, for starters.
Aww, Boo Boo Bear.
- [gasps] Ice chip
in tooth socket.
- Hi, I'd like to return
all this picnic stuff.
I don't need it anymore.
[dramatic music]
[gasps] Carol.
[inhales deeply]
Um, Carol?
- [gasps]
Uh--uh, hi, Lori.
- I know this is literally
the most awkward thing
in the world,
but I just wanna tell you
that you win.
You've been better than me at
everything since kindergarten.
But I'm okay with it.
I can't live my life
trying to compete
with you anymore.
Well, enjoy your shopping.
- Lori, wait.
You think I'm
better than you?
I kinda thought it was
the other way around.
I--I mean, you made
the varsity golf team
when we were freshmen.
No one else did that.
And you have ten siblings
who all look up to you.
[laughs] And don't get me
started on your hair.
I will never have volume
like that. [laughs]
This takes, like,
six cans of dry shampoo.
And it's still flat.
- Wow.
So all of our competing
has literally been pointless?
- It's true.
Those selfies
were getting out of control.
I had to adopt that corgi
and he's mean.
- I fell into a grave. Twice.
[both laugh]
- We're ridiculous.
I'm so glad we're done
with all this.
- Me too. Hey, I just had
a crazy idea.
What if we made it official
by taking a selfie together?
- Shut up!
Looking like this?
- Yeah! I mean,
who cares, right?
[shutters click]
both: Post.
- Cute pic of you and Carol.
You guys got tons of likes.
- Thank, Leni. But I don't even
care about that anymore.
- Almost as many
as Bianca and Sooyoung.
[phone rings]
- Hey, Carol, I just did.
I know.
They think they can beat us
with a BFF selfie?
Oh, it is so on.
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[alarm ringing]
- Wake up, everybody.
Time to get ready for school.
[all complaining]
- Come on, Luna!
There's nine more people
that need the bathroom.
- One sec, bro.
I can't leave until
I hit this high note.
♪ Getting ready for school ♪
Wait, not quite.
♪ School ♪
♪ School ♪
- She shoots, she scores!
- Ahh!
- Is that necessary?
- What?
It's a waste of a shower
if you haven't
worked up a sweat.
- Or gotten dirty.
Ahh.
- Excuse me?
Can you keep it down, please?
You know I require at least
eight hours of beauty sleep.
- Um--
- Ahh!
- What's up with Lola?
Why isn't she getting ready
for school?
- It's pageant season,
so she's home schooling
to have more time
for rehearsal.
- [scoffs] Home school?
AKA, sleep in,
do a little bit of school work,
then goof off
for the rest of the day.
- Yeah, lucky.
She gets to live it up
on Easy Street
for a whole week.
- Uh, actually, this year
it's six weeks.
- Six weeks?
- Lola needs time
during the day to prepare
for her pageants.
- I have basketball practice,
football practice,
lacrosse tryouts
and a hockey game,
all before Thursday.
- And I have two
graveside services
back-to-back tomorrow
at cemeteries on opposite
sides of town.
- I'm dumpster diving with Flip
every day
after school this week.
- And I'm speaking about
sodium sulfate at the science
club after school tomorrow.
- All while Lola gets to sleep
in as late as she wants.
- And not have to wait
in line for the bathroom.
- And she can eat whatever she
wants out of the fridge.
- Hey, we should get
to be home schooled too.
- Guys, Mom and Dad would never
let us actually do it.
- But what if they did?
And Lynn has her lacrosse,
Lori has her golf,
Luna has her band,
Luan has her clowning business.
- We know. We drive you kids
to all those things.
- So what do you say?
Can we be home schooled, too?
- Well, Lola has done well
with home schooling
the last few years.
Maybe that's just what
this family needs.
[all cheering]
- There's just one thing.
I will be home,
but I'll be busy
working on my book,
so you kids will have to
be responsible for getting
all your work done
or it's back to regular school.
[all agreeing]
- Guess who has 18 thumbs
and is also doing home school?
Us guys.
- What?!
Why do you guys
need home school?
- You're not the only one
who deserves
a flexible schedule.
We happen to lead
very busy lives.
- Yep, and now we get to
goof off all day with you.
- It's not goofing off!
You know we still have
school work, right?
- You mean our workbooks?
We have all week
to get them done.
A walk in the cemetery.
- Yeah, if you can manage it,
I'm sure we can.
- Okay, but be careful.
The work sneaks up on you.
- This is the life.
Right, dudes?
- I'll say. Just think,
on a normal day,
I'd be reading kindergarten
math books
and now I get to read
this college math book.
- I think you're missing
the point, Lisa.
- You goof off your way,
I'll goof off mine.
- Ace Savvy,
deep in the Amazon jungle,
searches for the hidden lair of
the evil villain Blackjack.
Will he find the--
- Look out!
It's the Mantis Queen!
[roars]
- Whoa! Ahh!
- [growls]
- Oh, no! Uh!
[laughter]
- 1,006.
- Hey, guys, it's 2:00.
Shouldn't you hit the books?
- It's two already?
- I guess we should
do some work.
- Thanks for reminding us,Lola.
Work book page one.
"Please read all contents
carefully."
♪ ♪
- Boom. One page down.
[phone chimes]
- [gasps]
I don't wanna interrupt
our flow,
but Chaz just sent me
a totes amazing cat video.
Wanna see?
- Yeah.
- Me too, me too.
- Is it a black cat?
[cat meows]
- Now, where were we?
Oh, right.
[clears throat]
Work book page one.
"Please read all contents
carefully."
[ice cream truck music]
- Ooh! Ice cream truck!
[all cheering]
- Hey, Louds! I see
you're enjoying my new CD
of classic ice cream truck
jingles.
Ooh, this one really swings.
- Man, now I really
want ice cream.
- Let's go. We've earned it.
We already read
the first page twice.
- Hey, Lola,
ice cream break.
- I can't I have
ribbon dancing rehearsal.
- She really needs to work on
her work-life balance.
- How fun has this week been?
- Home school! Home school!
Home school!
[laughter]
- It has been great,
but we should probably
do those work book thingies
tomorrow.
- True, we did promise Mom
we'd get all of our work done.
- Hm, then again,
tomorrow is Friday.
So it's practically
the weekend already.
Might as well wait till Monday
to get a fresh start.
- Good call, brah.
- Why are you guys still
yammering?
Go to bed already.
We have a test
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.
- Test? What test?
- [scoffs] That's how
home school works.
You take a test every Friday
to make sure
you've been learning instead of
slacking off all week.
Ugh!
- What?
Why didn't anyone tell us that?
- Hello? It's on page two
of your work books.
[all gasp]
- All the way on page two?
Well, of course
we didn't see it.
- [gasps] But if we don't pass,
that means--
- Yep, back to
[voice slowed]
regular school.
[all gasp]
- What are we gonna do? I don't
wanna go back to school!
[all complaining]
- Okay, well, I sympathize
with your plight, siblings.
But I, myself am not worried
about a simple examination
on the subject of--
[gasps]
[bell ringing]
What now?
"Kindergarteners will be graded
on their week's worth
of arts and crafts projects."
Ahh! Arts and crafts
are my Achilles heel.
Stubby digits.
- Come on, guys.
We can all still pass.
Even you, Lisa.
We'll just need
to pull an all-nighter
and really study.
- Lincoln's right.
No more distractions.
all: Agreed.
[ice cream truck music]
- [laughs] Evening, Louds.
[all grumbling]
- Okay, now that
that's out of the way,
we really gotta buckle down.
- To increase our chances
of success,
I suggest we find
an environment free of
any and all distractions.
- I don't think you'll all
fit into my coffin.
- I have
an alternate suggestion.
- Wow, you're gonna
let us inside
your super top secret bunker?
- Yes.
But don't get any ideas.
I will be changing
the access code.
- All right, guys.
Let's get crackin'.
- [clicks tongue]
- Would you mind
not doing that?
- Doing what?
[clicks tongue]
- [stomach rumbles]
[laughs]
- Hey, shut your gut.
I'm trying to read over here.
- How can you hear my stomach
over Luna's tapping foot?
- I'm just trying
to drown out the noise
of Lucy chewing her pen.
- [munching] It helps me focus.
Otherwise, all I can think
about is Lori's perfume.
- Um, would you rather smell
Lana's grubby, old hat?
- Wow.
[all arguing]
[air horn blasting]
- Guys, guys.
This isn't working.
- Don't touch that.
It's to scare away
post-apocalyptic mutants
and/or Mr. Grouse.
- How does Lola pull this off
every year?
- I don't know.
She must have figured out
something we haven't.
- You know what we have
to do, right?
[together] Yes.
- No.
Uh, yes.
Okay, no.
What's up?
- Someone's going to have to
interrupt Lola's beauty sleep
and ask her for help.
- But she needs
the full eight hours!
- Or else she can't
function properly.
- And she's a biter.
Well, someone's gotta do it.
all: Dibs, not it!
- Dang it!
- [snoring]
Can I help you?!
- Uh! Sorry! I'm sorry!
We need your help
to study for our test.
- Now? I'm in the middle
of my beauty sleep.
I've been warning you all week
that you need to do your work.
- We tried but failed
miserably.
- Lola, we literally
had no idea
that home school
would be this hard.
Please, tell us your secret.
- There is no secret.
It's just hard work
and discipline.
- Well, I'm out.
- It's too late for discipline,
but can you teach us
how to do the hard work part?
- Ugh, Lincoln!
Fine! But you guys owe me.
I see a lot of tea parties
in your future.
♪ ♪
- Okay, guys.
Time's up, pencils down.
Or in your case, Lisa,
pipe cleaners.
Well, it was a close call,
but congratulations,
you all passed!
[all cheering]
- Well, almost all of you.
Lola, honey, you didn't even
finish your test.
- I'm sorry, sweetie,
but it's back
to regular school on Monday.
- But Mom,
then I won't have time
to practice for my pageants.
- I'm sorry, Lola.
You knew the rules.
Now you have to
pay the consequences.
♪ ♪
[alarm ringing]
♪ ♪
- Aww.
What the--what are you guys
doing up so early?
I thought you like to start
your home schooling at two.
- Actually, we're all going
back to regular school.
- Huh?
- It's our fault
you didn't pass your test.
We kept you up all night
helping us study,
that you were too tired
to take your own test.
- We talked to Mom and Dad
and they agreed
to give you a second chance.
- And this way,
we won't be here
to distract you.
- You're all willing
to go back to regular school
just for me?
Thanks, you guys!
- Who's next?
[school bus arriving]
- Ahh! Is that the bus?
- Oh, no, we're late!
[dramatic music]
- Hey, Louds!
How do you like my new CD
of classic school bus sounds?
- Uh, seriously?
[all complaining]
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪