The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - The Loud House - full transcript
♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
♪ One boy and ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪
♪ Loud house ♪
*THE LOUD HOUSE*
Season 02 Episode 06a (HDTV)
Poo-poo.
"Vantastic Voyage"
Synchronized by srjanapala
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
Okay, kids, steady as she goes.
[all grunting]
Lola, you are not in a parade.
Get down here and help us push.
Mom, this is the third time
Vanzilla's broken down this week.
Don't you think it might be time
for a new car?
I would love a new car, guys.
It's your dad who won't go for it.
Vanzilla was his father's van,
and his grandfather's.
Someday, he hopes to pass it on
to you, Lincoln.
[scattered laughter]
You're stuck with it.
[all grunting]
Thanks for the assist, kids.
Uh, after dinner, uh,
I'll need a push
to ceramics class.
[all groan]
There's got to be some way
we can convince Dad
to get a new car.
You heard Mom.
All our arguments
are just going to stall.
[laughs]
Get it?
Unless we try
the subliminal approach.
all: Mm-hmm.
Wait, where's Lola?
I got knocked off by a tree branch
three blocks back!
Thanks for noticing!
♪♪
Here you go, Dad.
We made you blueberry
brand-new-van cakes.
[gasps] [chomping]
Is that a new shirt, Dad?
You look van-tastic in it.
Yeah, Dad, you da van!
- Thanks, girls.
- Whoops,
got a little hood ornament
on your face.
[whistling]
Dad, can you help me
with this math problem?
If Mr. Cloud's van stalls out
ten miles from his office,
how late will Mr. Cloud be
for his important meeting?
Well, based on my experience
from last Tuesday,
I'd say about three hours,
and boy is he gonna stink.
- Thanks, Dad.
- No problem, sweetie.
[resumes whistling]
[sniffing]
Whoa Nelly!
What is that glorious smell?
It's like warm bread, roses,
and puppies all rolled into one.
Just my latest experiment.
I've recreated the intoxicating
new car smell.
Wait, new cars smell like this?
I had no idea.
I don't know
what's come over me,
but I suddenly think it's time
the Louds get a new minivan!
[all cheering]
Lola and I've been working
on a new song.
It's called
"Happiness Is A New Van."
Can it.
He already said yes.
We've been practicing
for four hours!
Sit down!
And a one, a two,
a one, two, three, four!
[car honks]
all: Whoa!
Ain't she a beaut?
I fell in love the minute
I took her for a test drive.
Check this out.
[beeps]
all: Yay!
all: Oh!
Da-da-da-da-da-da,
not so fast.
This van is brand new
and I wanna keep it that way.
Shoes off! From now on
you'll wear these booties.
Now, line up for inspection.
Uh-huh, so no history
of flaking skin,
projectile vomiting,
or leaky bowel syndrome.
You may enter.
Okay, gang,
let's take her for a ride.
[engine turns over]
[gear shifts]
Everybody out.
Don't smudge the door handles.
- [all clamoring]
- That was like the shortest ride ever!
Now, guys, we don't wanna
rack up the mileage on Veronica.
- Who?
- Oh, that's the name
I gave my little baby.
Now everybody out.
Dad, can I borrow, um,
Veronica tomorrow?
[laughs]
Oh, wait, you're serious.
Oh, sorry, honey,
nobody drives her but me.
And me, of course.
[laughs]
Oh, wait, you're serious too?
♪♪
I can't believe Dad
won't let you drive the new van.
How are we supposed to get
to the mall and junk?
I have a plan.
[piped music playing]
Hello, ladies, I'm Steve.
You interested in this beauty?
Very interested, Steve.
But we'll need to take it
for a test drive.
Sure.
[pop music]
Wait, did you say "test"?
Lori, I didn't study.
♪ ♪
Dad, what are you wearing?
It's a beaded vest!
I got his and hers
for me and Veronica.
Uh, wow,
that's... uh, wow.
- Listen, can I get a ride?
- No can do, son.
Veronica and I have a very
special outing planned. [bird chirping]
[bird chirping]
Don't even think about it, pal.
Hi, I'll take three
double bacon cheeseburgers
and three drinks.
Girls, getting fast food
is not usually
part of the test drive.
Duh,
we got to test the cup holders.
And we got you
a double bacon cheeseburger.
Oh.
I'm vegan, but what the heck.
[chomps]
Get this, my wife
actually wanted to take Veronica
grocery shopping.
I mean, what if her dang
protein shakes spilled, huh?
I'd never forgive myself.
Ah, I never let my family in Sophia.
Gotta protect her fine
Italian leather.
Isn't that right, bellissima?
[car honks]
Whoa, check out Kotaro.
What's he driving?
Gentlemen of the Royal Woods
minivan society,
allow me to present Marilyn.
Va-va-voo!
Okay,
we all know why we're here.
Dad is out of control
with the new van.
Yeah, it's almost enough
to make you miss Vanzilla.
She was a hunk of junk,
but at least
we could be ourselves.
That's it, then.
We gotta convince Dad
to trade in Veronica,
and get Vanzilla back.
Easier said than done.
[exhales deeply]
Veronica,
will you accept this key ring
as a symbol of my love?
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Looks like we're gonna have
to go subliminal again.
all: Mm-hmm.
Um, I don't understand
how shopping is part
of the test drive.
Duh, we need to see how many
bags the trunk can hold.
- But...
- And look what I found on sale.
It really brings out your eyes.
weade pizz-zilla, but... and
look what I found on sale.
pizza shaped like Vanzilla.
Brings back some memories,
doesn't it?
It sure does.
Everything's fallen off of it
just like Vanzilla.
[laughs]
Glad that heaps gone.
I'm off to work, dear.
I know you don't trust me
to drive Veronica.
So from now on
I'll be carpooling
with my co-worker, Brandon.
You know, the one who just won
the Mr. Hunky Royal Woods contest?
[tires screech]
[car honks]
[lively music playing]
Uh-huh, sure, honey.
Smile, Veronica.
This is going on our blog!
[camera shutter clicks]
Ugh.
♪ ♪
You can put your shirt
back on now, Brandon.
We're going to have to
up our game.
[drill whirring]
Okay, maybe we could do
a tour around the block,
and then...
[gasps]
My baby!
She's been mugged!
Wow, sorry, Dad.
But maybe there's a lesson here.
We just can't have a car
this nice in our driveway.
You're right, son.
Everybody clean out the garage.
You'll be safe in there, lambkins.
Chop-chop! We need to get
Veronica in a safe place
before sundown.
[all groan]
- Well, that bit it hard.
- Let's face it, dudes,
we're never gonna trick daddy-o
into getting Vanzilla back.
[gasps] Get Vanzilla back?
What are you talking about?
Don't you like Veronica?
She's fine.
The problem is, well, you.
Yeah, you've turned into
a total meanie,
and frankly, a bit of a weirdo.
- That is unfair.
- No, it's not, Dad.
You made me walk
all the way home from school.
I was very clear
about the no-sneezing policy.
And I do not appreciate
being singled out
to wear this saliva shield.
I see what's happening here.
You can't stand to see how happy
Veronica and I are together,
so you wanna rip us apart!
For shame, family, for shame!
And they called me a meanie
and a weirdo.
Meanie? Check.
I have heard that one too.
Yep.
Hm, weirdo? Been there.
You gotta shrug it off, Lynn.
Families just don't get it.
Yeah, stand firm
on that sneeze policy.
Hey, kids, who's up
for some Burpin' Burger?
I'll take five burpin' burgers
with all the stuffings,
and make sure that sauce is dripping.
- You're the best, Dad!
- We love you!
[sighs]
I remember when my kids loved me.
Me too.
In my old van,
the kids used to have
squirt gun fights,
and I'd just laugh.
Yeah. In my old heap,
the dog gave birth
right there in the backseat.
It was the cutest.
Ah, to heck with it.
I'm going to trade in Olivia
and get my old van back.
Me too.
[car doors closing]
Me too. Farewell, Marilyn.
We'll always have
that first oil change.
You guys are nuts.
You're gonna regret this.
Daddy, who's that sad,
lonely man in the beaded vest?
Stay away from him, kids.
[somber music]
[sighs]
[horn honking]
Family? I'm sorry!
You were right.
Who wants to get Vanzilla back?
[all cheering]
But we don't have our booties.
No, I don't care anymore.
Just get your beautiful
muddy feet in here.
[all cheering]
[exciting music]
Hi, I wanna return this van.
- It just didn't work out.
- All right, sir.
And now I'd like to buy back
my old van.
No can do. Just sold it for scrap
to the junkyard.
[gasps]
all: ♪ Ooh, girl,
if I could ♪
♪ Ooh, girl, give you the ♪
♪ Ooh, girl, we're all girls ♪
We need to take this car
out for a test drive right now.
Dad, I think
Steve may have had enough
test driving for one day.
Are you kidding? This was amazing!
My nail beds have literally
never looked this good.
What ever you guys wanna do,
I'm in.
all: Whoo!
♪ ♪
[all calling for Vanzilla]
Honk if you can hear me!
[all calling for Vanzilla]
Come on, baby, where are ya?
There she is.
♪ ♪
all: No!
[alarm beeping]
Dad, bead me.
♪ ♪
[electricity sparking]
I wanna buy this van.
Seriously, this hunk of junk?
She's not a hunk of junk.
She's family.
[thud]
Thanks for giving up Veronica, dear.
I know it was a big sacrifice.
[scoffs] Veronica who?
Aww.
[both laugh]
I'm just glad we can all be
together in Vanzilla again.
We are too!
Even if we're not actually
in Vanzilla.
[all grunting]
♪ Ooh, girl,
if I could ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪
♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
♪ One boy and ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
♪ Loud Loud Loud ♪
♪ Loud house ♪
*THE LOUD HOUSE*
Season 02 Episode 06a (HDTV)
Poo-poo.
"Vantastic Voyage"
Synchronized by srjanapala
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
Okay, kids, steady as she goes.
[all grunting]
Lola, you are not in a parade.
Get down here and help us push.
Mom, this is the third time
Vanzilla's broken down this week.
Don't you think it might be time
for a new car?
I would love a new car, guys.
It's your dad who won't go for it.
Vanzilla was his father's van,
and his grandfather's.
Someday, he hopes to pass it on
to you, Lincoln.
[scattered laughter]
You're stuck with it.
[all grunting]
Thanks for the assist, kids.
Uh, after dinner, uh,
I'll need a push
to ceramics class.
[all groan]
There's got to be some way
we can convince Dad
to get a new car.
You heard Mom.
All our arguments
are just going to stall.
[laughs]
Get it?
Unless we try
the subliminal approach.
all: Mm-hmm.
Wait, where's Lola?
I got knocked off by a tree branch
three blocks back!
Thanks for noticing!
♪♪
Here you go, Dad.
We made you blueberry
brand-new-van cakes.
[gasps] [chomping]
Is that a new shirt, Dad?
You look van-tastic in it.
Yeah, Dad, you da van!
- Thanks, girls.
- Whoops,
got a little hood ornament
on your face.
[whistling]
Dad, can you help me
with this math problem?
If Mr. Cloud's van stalls out
ten miles from his office,
how late will Mr. Cloud be
for his important meeting?
Well, based on my experience
from last Tuesday,
I'd say about three hours,
and boy is he gonna stink.
- Thanks, Dad.
- No problem, sweetie.
[resumes whistling]
[sniffing]
Whoa Nelly!
What is that glorious smell?
It's like warm bread, roses,
and puppies all rolled into one.
Just my latest experiment.
I've recreated the intoxicating
new car smell.
Wait, new cars smell like this?
I had no idea.
I don't know
what's come over me,
but I suddenly think it's time
the Louds get a new minivan!
[all cheering]
Lola and I've been working
on a new song.
It's called
"Happiness Is A New Van."
Can it.
He already said yes.
We've been practicing
for four hours!
Sit down!
And a one, a two,
a one, two, three, four!
[car honks]
all: Whoa!
Ain't she a beaut?
I fell in love the minute
I took her for a test drive.
Check this out.
[beeps]
all: Yay!
all: Oh!
Da-da-da-da-da-da,
not so fast.
This van is brand new
and I wanna keep it that way.
Shoes off! From now on
you'll wear these booties.
Now, line up for inspection.
Uh-huh, so no history
of flaking skin,
projectile vomiting,
or leaky bowel syndrome.
You may enter.
Okay, gang,
let's take her for a ride.
[engine turns over]
[gear shifts]
Everybody out.
Don't smudge the door handles.
- [all clamoring]
- That was like the shortest ride ever!
Now, guys, we don't wanna
rack up the mileage on Veronica.
- Who?
- Oh, that's the name
I gave my little baby.
Now everybody out.
Dad, can I borrow, um,
Veronica tomorrow?
[laughs]
Oh, wait, you're serious.
Oh, sorry, honey,
nobody drives her but me.
And me, of course.
[laughs]
Oh, wait, you're serious too?
♪♪
I can't believe Dad
won't let you drive the new van.
How are we supposed to get
to the mall and junk?
I have a plan.
[piped music playing]
Hello, ladies, I'm Steve.
You interested in this beauty?
Very interested, Steve.
But we'll need to take it
for a test drive.
Sure.
[pop music]
Wait, did you say "test"?
Lori, I didn't study.
♪ ♪
Dad, what are you wearing?
It's a beaded vest!
I got his and hers
for me and Veronica.
Uh, wow,
that's... uh, wow.
- Listen, can I get a ride?
- No can do, son.
Veronica and I have a very
special outing planned. [bird chirping]
[bird chirping]
Don't even think about it, pal.
Hi, I'll take three
double bacon cheeseburgers
and three drinks.
Girls, getting fast food
is not usually
part of the test drive.
Duh,
we got to test the cup holders.
And we got you
a double bacon cheeseburger.
Oh.
I'm vegan, but what the heck.
[chomps]
Get this, my wife
actually wanted to take Veronica
grocery shopping.
I mean, what if her dang
protein shakes spilled, huh?
I'd never forgive myself.
Ah, I never let my family in Sophia.
Gotta protect her fine
Italian leather.
Isn't that right, bellissima?
[car honks]
Whoa, check out Kotaro.
What's he driving?
Gentlemen of the Royal Woods
minivan society,
allow me to present Marilyn.
Va-va-voo!
Okay,
we all know why we're here.
Dad is out of control
with the new van.
Yeah, it's almost enough
to make you miss Vanzilla.
She was a hunk of junk,
but at least
we could be ourselves.
That's it, then.
We gotta convince Dad
to trade in Veronica,
and get Vanzilla back.
Easier said than done.
[exhales deeply]
Veronica,
will you accept this key ring
as a symbol of my love?
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Looks like we're gonna have
to go subliminal again.
all: Mm-hmm.
Um, I don't understand
how shopping is part
of the test drive.
Duh, we need to see how many
bags the trunk can hold.
- But...
- And look what I found on sale.
It really brings out your eyes.
weade pizz-zilla, but... and
look what I found on sale.
pizza shaped like Vanzilla.
Brings back some memories,
doesn't it?
It sure does.
Everything's fallen off of it
just like Vanzilla.
[laughs]
Glad that heaps gone.
I'm off to work, dear.
I know you don't trust me
to drive Veronica.
So from now on
I'll be carpooling
with my co-worker, Brandon.
You know, the one who just won
the Mr. Hunky Royal Woods contest?
[tires screech]
[car honks]
[lively music playing]
Uh-huh, sure, honey.
Smile, Veronica.
This is going on our blog!
[camera shutter clicks]
Ugh.
♪ ♪
You can put your shirt
back on now, Brandon.
We're going to have to
up our game.
[drill whirring]
Okay, maybe we could do
a tour around the block,
and then...
[gasps]
My baby!
She's been mugged!
Wow, sorry, Dad.
But maybe there's a lesson here.
We just can't have a car
this nice in our driveway.
You're right, son.
Everybody clean out the garage.
You'll be safe in there, lambkins.
Chop-chop! We need to get
Veronica in a safe place
before sundown.
[all groan]
- Well, that bit it hard.
- Let's face it, dudes,
we're never gonna trick daddy-o
into getting Vanzilla back.
[gasps] Get Vanzilla back?
What are you talking about?
Don't you like Veronica?
She's fine.
The problem is, well, you.
Yeah, you've turned into
a total meanie,
and frankly, a bit of a weirdo.
- That is unfair.
- No, it's not, Dad.
You made me walk
all the way home from school.
I was very clear
about the no-sneezing policy.
And I do not appreciate
being singled out
to wear this saliva shield.
I see what's happening here.
You can't stand to see how happy
Veronica and I are together,
so you wanna rip us apart!
For shame, family, for shame!
And they called me a meanie
and a weirdo.
Meanie? Check.
I have heard that one too.
Yep.
Hm, weirdo? Been there.
You gotta shrug it off, Lynn.
Families just don't get it.
Yeah, stand firm
on that sneeze policy.
Hey, kids, who's up
for some Burpin' Burger?
I'll take five burpin' burgers
with all the stuffings,
and make sure that sauce is dripping.
- You're the best, Dad!
- We love you!
[sighs]
I remember when my kids loved me.
Me too.
In my old van,
the kids used to have
squirt gun fights,
and I'd just laugh.
Yeah. In my old heap,
the dog gave birth
right there in the backseat.
It was the cutest.
Ah, to heck with it.
I'm going to trade in Olivia
and get my old van back.
Me too.
[car doors closing]
Me too. Farewell, Marilyn.
We'll always have
that first oil change.
You guys are nuts.
You're gonna regret this.
Daddy, who's that sad,
lonely man in the beaded vest?
Stay away from him, kids.
[somber music]
[sighs]
[horn honking]
Family? I'm sorry!
You were right.
Who wants to get Vanzilla back?
[all cheering]
But we don't have our booties.
No, I don't care anymore.
Just get your beautiful
muddy feet in here.
[all cheering]
[exciting music]
Hi, I wanna return this van.
- It just didn't work out.
- All right, sir.
And now I'd like to buy back
my old van.
No can do. Just sold it for scrap
to the junkyard.
[gasps]
all: ♪ Ooh, girl,
if I could ♪
♪ Ooh, girl, give you the ♪
♪ Ooh, girl, we're all girls ♪
We need to take this car
out for a test drive right now.
Dad, I think
Steve may have had enough
test driving for one day.
Are you kidding? This was amazing!
My nail beds have literally
never looked this good.
What ever you guys wanna do,
I'm in.
all: Whoo!
♪ ♪
[all calling for Vanzilla]
Honk if you can hear me!
[all calling for Vanzilla]
Come on, baby, where are ya?
There she is.
♪ ♪
all: No!
[alarm beeping]
Dad, bead me.
♪ ♪
[electricity sparking]
I wanna buy this van.
Seriously, this hunk of junk?
She's not a hunk of junk.
She's family.
[thud]
Thanks for giving up Veronica, dear.
I know it was a big sacrifice.
[scoffs] Veronica who?
Aww.
[both laugh]
I'm just glad we can all be
together in Vanzilla again.
We are too!
Even if we're not actually
in Vanzilla.
[all grunting]
♪ Ooh, girl,
if I could ♪