The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 24 - Read Aloud/Not a Loud - full transcript
The library is holding a contest in which whoever reads the most books will win a night at the Spunk E. Pigeon Pizza Palooza Paradise. However, Lola thinks reading is boring, and refuses to participate, causing Lincoln and the rest of the family to convince her that reading can be fun. But little does the family know, there is a shocking reason why Lola won't read.; While looking through the attic with Clyde for his birth story, Lincoln finds the birth story in his baby book empty. When his parents give him inconsistent information, Lincoln becomes suspicious, and he and Clyde try to get to the bottom of the missing info by asking Lincoln's sisters their sides of the story.
Crashing through
the crowded halls
Dodging girls
like ping pong balls
Just to reach
the bathroom on time
Leaping over laundry piles
Diapers you can
smell for miles
Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive
In the Loud House,
in the Loud House
Duck, dodge, push and shove
That's how we show our love
In the Loud House,
in the Loud House
One boy and ten girls
Wouldn't trade it for the world
Loud! Loud! Loud!
Loud House!
-Poo poo.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
(Lincoln) Guys, you're
not gonna believe this!
The library's having a contest.
We can win an entire night
at Spunk E. Pigeon's!
Spunk E. Pigeon's Pizza Palooza Paradise!
Starring your favorite video games!
Your favorite toppings!
And your favorite hits!
Ooh, girl, if I could
Ooh, girl
Ooh, girl
Give you the world, girl
Spunk E. Pigeon's Pizza Palooza Paradise!
You'll lose your mind!
You mean, all of it?
Yeah! All to ourselves! We just have
to read as many books as we can as a family.
Well, hot dog, kids!
We've got some reading to do!
To the library!
Uh-oh. My overdue fines!
Spunk E. Pigeon! Spunk E. Pigeon!
Spunk E. Pigeon!
Reading, huh?
The library! The library! The library!
Shh!
-Whoops! Hush tones, kids.
Hut hut!
You look familiar.
-Oh, uh-
No, ma'am.
I'm brand new to these here parts.
Hmm... I swear I've seen you before.
Emilio, I'm gonna need backup.
What did you get from the library, Lola?
Stickers? Uh, I'm not sure
those count as something to read.
Reading's boring.
-No, it's not. And we can't win
the pizza party unless everyone in
the family reads at least one book.
Well, tough tiaras,
'cause I'm not gonna do it!
Dudes, Lola's gonna blow our
pizza party! What are we gonna do?
Easy. We chain her up in the attic
and tell the librarian she never existed.
Lana just has to pretend she has
a split personality. -I can do it!
Seems a little extreme?
Honey, there's pizza at stake here!
Wait! Maybe there's an easier way.
You heard Lola. She just
thinks that reading is boring.
So we need to help
her see that it's not.
You're right. That makes more sense.
Just in case,
keep your chains handy.
Whoa! You can make pancakes
with just eggs and a banana?
Boy, I tell ya, these cookbooks
are a nonstop thrill ride.
You wanna read one?
-No.
But when you've made those
pancakes, give me a holler. Lola out.
This book is a hoot! I'm gonna
have to get some ice for my knees,
I've been slapping them
so hard! Care to read one?
Sorry. Mom says I do too
much slapping already.
And biting. And shin kicking.
And hair pulling.
All fixed! It is amazing what you can
learn from these auto repair books.
Wanna read one, Lola?
-Why? That's what I pay you for.
Eight crickets, as agreed.
Hey, Lola. Wanna check out volume 1
of the greatest romance of all time?
He's a dark, brooding vampire.
She's a misunderstood girl
from the wrong side of the cemetery.
-No, thank you.
I prefer Prince Charming
to Prince Alarming.
Well, how about volume one of the
greatest crime-fighting duo of all time?
He's an undercover hero with an
ace up his sleeve. His sidekick is-
Stop! For the last time, I am not
interested in reading any of your books!
(Lincoln) We were going
about this all wrong!
Of course Lola's not
interested in any of our books.
We need to find ones
that are right for her.
That makes sense.
Hey, Lola! I know you don't
want to read about Ace Savvy,
but this time I have something that's
perfect for you: the Bossy Twins!
They're first graders just like you
and Lana, and they solve mysteries!
Do they ever solve the mystery of
who gave them those hideous haircuts?
Hey, Lola, I've got the
perfect book for you!
It'll answer all of your burning
questions about tea party etiquette.
I don't have any questions.
I'm an expert. -Oh, yeah?
Do you know the proper serving
temperature for Earl Grey?
208 degrees Fahrenheit.
Frankie the Friendly Fairy?
Pass. I'm into unicorns now.
Aha! Then you'll love...
Unicorn Universty!
I've already seen the movie.
Ugh. That's 99 minutes
I'll never get back.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I gotta tinkle.
Come on, Lola!
The contest ends tomorrow
and you're letting everyone down!
I'm not moving until
you agree to read a book!
Fine. Just give me the princess one.
We?re finished!
The Loud Family would like
to report 260 books read.
Very impressive. The next
highest family total is only 23,
and the contest ends at 5.
You've got this wrapped up.
I'll just need you all
to prove you read the books
by giving you a book-by-book quiz.
We're ready for anything!
You. Bread crust in
a meatloaf: how much?
Half a cup!
-Very good! You! Twist ending! Go!
So, it turns out it wasn't
even a student running the blog,
it was a teacher! And he literally tried
to frame Gabby with a laptop in her-
That's enough. Very good.
Now, what does the cow say?
Moo! -Very good!
Ace Savvy's real name?
Spade Nifty!
-What time was Mr. Darcy's party?
8:00 PM sharp!
-Einstein's wives?
Mileva, 1903-1919.
Elsa, 1919-1936...
y'all.
Four-stroke engine cycle consists of-
Intake, compression, power, exhaust!
Sis boom bah! -The sound
made when a sheep explodes!
Mick Swagger owes
his entire career to-
Delta blues musician Murky Bottoms!
Fashion began with-
Charles Frederic Worth!
First to sew a label!
The greatest of all time?
-Muhammad Ali! Also prettiest.
The night the vampire cried?
Trick question. He cried every night.
Well, I am impressed.
Clearly you've done all the work.
No need to quiz you on the rest.
-Phew.
Oh, wait. We missed one family
member. That's you, sweetie.
Tell me about Princess Martha
and what she wore on her head.
Oh, uh... she was a princess, all right.
Oh yeah. It was a crown!
She wore a crown.
On her head. Crown. Final answer.
True, but what was so
interesting about it?
Oh. Uh, it was interesting 'cause...
it was made of... chocolate?
Chocolate?
-What is this, an interrogation?
Little girl, did you
even read this book?
No! I didn't read it!
The rules officially say that every member
has to read at least one book.
Little girl, I'm afraid if you didn't read
this book, your entire family is out.
I told you I didn't wanna do
this stinking challenge!
So long, Spunk E. Pigeon.
Yeah! I'd like to give Lola
a pizza my mind!
But seriously, she ruined everything.
Guys, wait! Remember,
Librarian Wetta said the contest
closes at 5:00. It's only 3:00.
We still have two hours!
What about Lola? There's literally
no point if she won't participate.
Leave everything to me.
I'll get her to read that book by 5:00.
You got this.
-We'll be back in two hours.
Alright, what's the deal, Lo?
Won't you just read one book?
"Won't you just read
one book?" No! I won't!
Well, why the heck not?
Okay, Lincoln, I guess it's
time I told you the truth.
I just don't like pizza.
Yeah, not buying that.
I know you don't like reading books,
but everyone's counting on you.
It's time to be a team player.
Well, I'm not moving. So, good
luck getting me back in there.
No!!!
Alright, you're not leaving until you
read this whole book in front of me.
Books!
-Where?
Dang it. Hey, get back here!
I told you, I ain't reading, okay?
I have you now!
-Like heck!
What is wrong with you? Is it
that hard to read one measly book?!
Yes, it is!
Wait, what?
It's too hard for me to read,
so I never do.
Don't you think I wanna read
about American princesses,
and unicorns and the bossy twins,
even if they have terrible hair?
What if I helped you?
Are you sure? I'm so slow.
And we don't have much time.
Doesn't it end at 5:00?
We'll get through it together.
And you'll see, the more you read,
the easier it gets.
Come on, sis. I'll show ya.
O-o-once... yew...
You got it! Once uh-puh...
Upon! Once upon a t-t-t...
Okay, this word looks weird.
Sound it out. There's the T, so tuh. Then I...
Tuh...I...oh, time! Time! Once upon a time.
And-and... Oh, Lincoln, it's 5 o'clock!
What are we gonna do?
Don't worry about that. Let's finish reading.
And they lived hap-pee-lee... ever...
Happily ever after! The end!
I can't believe it! I read a whole book!
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
So proud of you, sis.
Lincoln, it's 5:30! The
contest ended half an hour ago!
Totally my fault. It's just so quiet here.
I must've fallen asleep.
Well, you literally blew it.
Lincoln, you lost the contest for all of us!
Yeah, I know.
Wait. Stop, Lincoln.
This is my fault.
He spent the whole time
helping me to read,
'cause, well, it's hard for me.
But I like it now.
And I'm going to keep practicing
because it's not as hard as I thought!
We're so sorry.
It's okay. I'm sorry I cost
Spunk E. Pigeon for you guys.
Aw, sweetie, that doesn't matter now.
Yes. The important thing is that you're now
able to enjoy the wonders of literacy.
I knew I recognized that voice!
The one with the fines!
Peace out!
Ooh, girl, if I could
Ooh, girl, give you the,
ooh, girl, world, girl
The fuzz-a-rockin' explodaganza
appears every six minutes!
You know, this commercial is so realistic,
I totally smell pizza.
Hey, guys! Now that I can read,
I thought I'd make us all some pizza!
Pepperoni's in the oven,
and next up is... pineapple!
Well, isn't this just great?
Just as good as Spunk E. Pigeon's!
(Librarian Wetta) Get back here!
You'll never catch me, Wetta!
You owe me $50.000!
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
the crowded halls
Dodging girls
like ping pong balls
Just to reach
the bathroom on time
Leaping over laundry piles
Diapers you can
smell for miles
Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive
In the Loud House,
in the Loud House
Duck, dodge, push and shove
That's how we show our love
In the Loud House,
in the Loud House
One boy and ten girls
Wouldn't trade it for the world
Loud! Loud! Loud!
Loud House!
-Poo poo.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
(Lincoln) Guys, you're
not gonna believe this!
The library's having a contest.
We can win an entire night
at Spunk E. Pigeon's!
Spunk E. Pigeon's Pizza Palooza Paradise!
Starring your favorite video games!
Your favorite toppings!
And your favorite hits!
Ooh, girl, if I could
Ooh, girl
Ooh, girl
Give you the world, girl
Spunk E. Pigeon's Pizza Palooza Paradise!
You'll lose your mind!
You mean, all of it?
Yeah! All to ourselves! We just have
to read as many books as we can as a family.
Well, hot dog, kids!
We've got some reading to do!
To the library!
Uh-oh. My overdue fines!
Spunk E. Pigeon! Spunk E. Pigeon!
Spunk E. Pigeon!
Reading, huh?
The library! The library! The library!
Shh!
-Whoops! Hush tones, kids.
Hut hut!
You look familiar.
-Oh, uh-
No, ma'am.
I'm brand new to these here parts.
Hmm... I swear I've seen you before.
Emilio, I'm gonna need backup.
What did you get from the library, Lola?
Stickers? Uh, I'm not sure
those count as something to read.
Reading's boring.
-No, it's not. And we can't win
the pizza party unless everyone in
the family reads at least one book.
Well, tough tiaras,
'cause I'm not gonna do it!
Dudes, Lola's gonna blow our
pizza party! What are we gonna do?
Easy. We chain her up in the attic
and tell the librarian she never existed.
Lana just has to pretend she has
a split personality. -I can do it!
Seems a little extreme?
Honey, there's pizza at stake here!
Wait! Maybe there's an easier way.
You heard Lola. She just
thinks that reading is boring.
So we need to help
her see that it's not.
You're right. That makes more sense.
Just in case,
keep your chains handy.
Whoa! You can make pancakes
with just eggs and a banana?
Boy, I tell ya, these cookbooks
are a nonstop thrill ride.
You wanna read one?
-No.
But when you've made those
pancakes, give me a holler. Lola out.
This book is a hoot! I'm gonna
have to get some ice for my knees,
I've been slapping them
so hard! Care to read one?
Sorry. Mom says I do too
much slapping already.
And biting. And shin kicking.
And hair pulling.
All fixed! It is amazing what you can
learn from these auto repair books.
Wanna read one, Lola?
-Why? That's what I pay you for.
Eight crickets, as agreed.
Hey, Lola. Wanna check out volume 1
of the greatest romance of all time?
He's a dark, brooding vampire.
She's a misunderstood girl
from the wrong side of the cemetery.
-No, thank you.
I prefer Prince Charming
to Prince Alarming.
Well, how about volume one of the
greatest crime-fighting duo of all time?
He's an undercover hero with an
ace up his sleeve. His sidekick is-
Stop! For the last time, I am not
interested in reading any of your books!
(Lincoln) We were going
about this all wrong!
Of course Lola's not
interested in any of our books.
We need to find ones
that are right for her.
That makes sense.
Hey, Lola! I know you don't
want to read about Ace Savvy,
but this time I have something that's
perfect for you: the Bossy Twins!
They're first graders just like you
and Lana, and they solve mysteries!
Do they ever solve the mystery of
who gave them those hideous haircuts?
Hey, Lola, I've got the
perfect book for you!
It'll answer all of your burning
questions about tea party etiquette.
I don't have any questions.
I'm an expert. -Oh, yeah?
Do you know the proper serving
temperature for Earl Grey?
208 degrees Fahrenheit.
Frankie the Friendly Fairy?
Pass. I'm into unicorns now.
Aha! Then you'll love...
Unicorn Universty!
I've already seen the movie.
Ugh. That's 99 minutes
I'll never get back.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I gotta tinkle.
Come on, Lola!
The contest ends tomorrow
and you're letting everyone down!
I'm not moving until
you agree to read a book!
Fine. Just give me the princess one.
We?re finished!
The Loud Family would like
to report 260 books read.
Very impressive. The next
highest family total is only 23,
and the contest ends at 5.
You've got this wrapped up.
I'll just need you all
to prove you read the books
by giving you a book-by-book quiz.
We're ready for anything!
You. Bread crust in
a meatloaf: how much?
Half a cup!
-Very good! You! Twist ending! Go!
So, it turns out it wasn't
even a student running the blog,
it was a teacher! And he literally tried
to frame Gabby with a laptop in her-
That's enough. Very good.
Now, what does the cow say?
Moo! -Very good!
Ace Savvy's real name?
Spade Nifty!
-What time was Mr. Darcy's party?
8:00 PM sharp!
-Einstein's wives?
Mileva, 1903-1919.
Elsa, 1919-1936...
y'all.
Four-stroke engine cycle consists of-
Intake, compression, power, exhaust!
Sis boom bah! -The sound
made when a sheep explodes!
Mick Swagger owes
his entire career to-
Delta blues musician Murky Bottoms!
Fashion began with-
Charles Frederic Worth!
First to sew a label!
The greatest of all time?
-Muhammad Ali! Also prettiest.
The night the vampire cried?
Trick question. He cried every night.
Well, I am impressed.
Clearly you've done all the work.
No need to quiz you on the rest.
-Phew.
Oh, wait. We missed one family
member. That's you, sweetie.
Tell me about Princess Martha
and what she wore on her head.
Oh, uh... she was a princess, all right.
Oh yeah. It was a crown!
She wore a crown.
On her head. Crown. Final answer.
True, but what was so
interesting about it?
Oh. Uh, it was interesting 'cause...
it was made of... chocolate?
Chocolate?
-What is this, an interrogation?
Little girl, did you
even read this book?
No! I didn't read it!
The rules officially say that every member
has to read at least one book.
Little girl, I'm afraid if you didn't read
this book, your entire family is out.
I told you I didn't wanna do
this stinking challenge!
So long, Spunk E. Pigeon.
Yeah! I'd like to give Lola
a pizza my mind!
But seriously, she ruined everything.
Guys, wait! Remember,
Librarian Wetta said the contest
closes at 5:00. It's only 3:00.
We still have two hours!
What about Lola? There's literally
no point if she won't participate.
Leave everything to me.
I'll get her to read that book by 5:00.
You got this.
-We'll be back in two hours.
Alright, what's the deal, Lo?
Won't you just read one book?
"Won't you just read
one book?" No! I won't!
Well, why the heck not?
Okay, Lincoln, I guess it's
time I told you the truth.
I just don't like pizza.
Yeah, not buying that.
I know you don't like reading books,
but everyone's counting on you.
It's time to be a team player.
Well, I'm not moving. So, good
luck getting me back in there.
No!!!
Alright, you're not leaving until you
read this whole book in front of me.
Books!
-Where?
Dang it. Hey, get back here!
I told you, I ain't reading, okay?
I have you now!
-Like heck!
What is wrong with you? Is it
that hard to read one measly book?!
Yes, it is!
Wait, what?
It's too hard for me to read,
so I never do.
Don't you think I wanna read
about American princesses,
and unicorns and the bossy twins,
even if they have terrible hair?
What if I helped you?
Are you sure? I'm so slow.
And we don't have much time.
Doesn't it end at 5:00?
We'll get through it together.
And you'll see, the more you read,
the easier it gets.
Come on, sis. I'll show ya.
O-o-once... yew...
You got it! Once uh-puh...
Upon! Once upon a t-t-t...
Okay, this word looks weird.
Sound it out. There's the T, so tuh. Then I...
Tuh...I...oh, time! Time! Once upon a time.
And-and... Oh, Lincoln, it's 5 o'clock!
What are we gonna do?
Don't worry about that. Let's finish reading.
And they lived hap-pee-lee... ever...
Happily ever after! The end!
I can't believe it! I read a whole book!
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
So proud of you, sis.
Lincoln, it's 5:30! The
contest ended half an hour ago!
Totally my fault. It's just so quiet here.
I must've fallen asleep.
Well, you literally blew it.
Lincoln, you lost the contest for all of us!
Yeah, I know.
Wait. Stop, Lincoln.
This is my fault.
He spent the whole time
helping me to read,
'cause, well, it's hard for me.
But I like it now.
And I'm going to keep practicing
because it's not as hard as I thought!
We're so sorry.
It's okay. I'm sorry I cost
Spunk E. Pigeon for you guys.
Aw, sweetie, that doesn't matter now.
Yes. The important thing is that you're now
able to enjoy the wonders of literacy.
I knew I recognized that voice!
The one with the fines!
Peace out!
Ooh, girl, if I could
Ooh, girl, give you the,
ooh, girl, world, girl
The fuzz-a-rockin' explodaganza
appears every six minutes!
You know, this commercial is so realistic,
I totally smell pizza.
Hey, guys! Now that I can read,
I thought I'd make us all some pizza!
Pepperoni's in the oven,
and next up is... pineapple!
Well, isn't this just great?
Just as good as Spunk E. Pigeon's!
(Librarian Wetta) Get back here!
You'll never catch me, Wetta!
You owe me $50.000!
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.