The Loud House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 13 - Back Out There/Spell It Out - full transcript

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪



- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[funky music]

♪

[school bell rings]
[boy grunting]

- Man, I hate dodge ball!
Oof!

- Me too!
- It's the worst.

- I'd rather milk
an ornery cow!

- Chill, guys.
Just like we practiced.

Snake formation!

So, we're all chilling at my
place again today?



Left!

- Sure! Oh!

We can make another
popcorn pizza!

- Right!

Sorry guys--
- Left!

- I can't make it.
- Right!

- Lincoln, you haven't
hung out with us all week!

- I know,
I've just had this thing

to take care of.
[whistle blows]

Have fun, guys!
Catch ya later!

Hey! Girl Jordan!
The whistle blew!

- You know,
I'm worried about Lincoln.

It isn't like him to not
want to hang out.

- [gasps] You think maybe an
alien has taken over his body?

- That would explain
the white hair.

- Guys,
it's not an alien!

Lincoln and I have a signal
for that if that happens.

- Well, something ain't right!

- We're Lincoln's friends,
and we have to do something.

- Respect his privacy?

- No! We are totally
going to spy on him

and find out what's going on!

Hey, Girl Jordan!
The whistle blew!

- Ronnie Anne's old house?

This is where he's been
coming every day?

- Doesn't he know
she moved?

- I think I know
what's going on here.

Lincoln's got a classic case
of P.B.B.

- Peanut butter breath?
- No.

- Pale boy bangs?
- No.

- Polybrominated biphenyls?
- No.

Lincoln has P.B.B.,
or Post Break-Up Blues.

The poor guy misses
Ronnie Anne so much

that he's coming here every day
to pine for her.

I learned all about it

in the pamphlets I collected
in Dr. Lopez' waiting room.

- So, what do we do?
Should we talk to him about it?

- No! The pamphlet says
that will just send him

into a denial spiral.

The only way to reverse P.B.B.
and get closure

is to distract him from
thinking about Ronnie Anne

by using a three-step process
called B.B.P.

The first B
is for boys' night out!

- Oh! My memaw said
I have to be home before dark!

- A boys' afternoon out
sounds great, guys!

What brought this on?

- Your P.B.B.
- My what?

- Er, your pale
boy bangs!

They're so pretty, the world
needs to see 'em!

- Come on, Lincoln!

First thing this boys'
afternoon out needs

is some new threads.

My dad said he'd hook us up!

[disco-like music]

- Now,
there's five happenin' cats.

You're gonna be fighting off
the ladies with a stick!

- Aw, dang, I didn't bring
my stick!

- Yeah, thanks!
- These are great!

- Thanks again, Dad!
- Now, you kids have fun.

Make sure to return
the suits by tonight,

and don't get
a single spot on 'em

or you'll be grounded
for a month!

Have fun!
- [gulp]

- Anybody else feel like havin'
buffalo wings?

- And nachos!
- Chili fries!

- Darn tootin'!
- Uh, guys?

Careful, guys!
Zach, napkin!

Lincoln, watch that sauce!

- It's working!
He looks happy.

- These pamphlets
have never steered me wrong.

[music playing]
- Oooh-wee, I love this song!

- You know who else
loves this song?

Ronnie Anne.

[dramatic chords]

- Oh, uh, I just remembered,

I hate this song!
[song changes]

- Let me tell you guys about
our dessert specials.

We've got
the heart-shaped cookie,

the lovers' sundae for two,

and the tira-missyou.
[giggles]

- Nobody wants desserts!
Let's play some games!

- I wanted dessert.

- Let's play
Dance, Dance, Revolution.

[harp chords play]

Never mind!

- Let's just watch some TV.

- Uh-oh! Those are Ronnie Anne's
favorite tag-team wrestlers,

Payne and Suffering!

- Uh, this place is lame.

Who's up for a boys' day out
music montage?!

[disco-like music]

♪

♪

- This boys' day out has been
a blast, you guys!

- That's great to hear, Lincoln.
Would you say you feel

"a sense of closure and more
optimistic about the future"?

- Um, that's pretty specific...
but, yeah, I guess.

[beeping]

Whoops, sorry, guys!

I have to go take care
of that thing again.

[running footsteps]

- Ugh! I can't believe it!

- So much for closure!

- He's back at Ronnie Anne's!

- Ooh-whee! He's got it bad
for that gal!

- Don't worry.
Minor setback.

The pamphlet
says this can happen.

If the first B in B.B.P.
doesn't work,

you just move onto the second
B: Beautiful Ladies.

- That's my favorite B!

[car horn blasts]

Guys, protect the suits!
Snake formation!!

[dramatic music]

Ha! You can't beat
the Rust Man that easily!

[birds calling]

Noooooo!

Oh, man, what am I gonna tell
my dad about those suits?

- Aww, don't you worry.
You can get bird poop out.

It's donkey poop
you gotta worry about.

- Here comes Lincoln.

We're all clear
about what to do?

- Hey, guys!
- Hey, buddy!

You took care of your...
thing?

- Yep!

- Glad you could hang out
some more!

- I declare, Zach,

isn't that your friend Renee
over there

in yonder comic book store?

- You are right, Liam.

She is probably there

because she is
a huge Ace Savvy fan.

- Hey, Lincoln, you're a huge
Ace Savvy fan, too!

You should go talkto her!

- I don't--

It's so cool
to meet someone

who loves Ace
as much as I do.

- Same here!

- Whoa, is that the limited
edition Christmas issue

with the variant cover?

- "Deck the Halls"? I've been
looking for that forever.

- Me too.

both: It's the only copy.

- Give it!
- It's mine!

- Looks like we're gonna need
another beautiful lady.

[whack]
And an ice pack.

Hey, Liam, isn't that
your cousin, Hattie?

- Tar-nation!

I didn't see her horse
parked outside.

Lincoln, you should
set next to her.

She's a bigger sci-fi
fan than you are!

- Ooooh! My, my, how do?

I'm Hattie.

- Shh!

- I'm Lincoln.

- You done seen
this picture before?

Oooh! I love the part where
the alien becomes human!

audience: Boo!

- Kind of a spoiler.

- That ain't nothing!

Turns out the whole thing's
just a dream!

[audience groans, mutters]
- She did not say that!

- Rusty, you must know
some beautiful ladies.

- Well, you know--

- Yeah, you're always
bragging about

what a ladies' man you are!

- It's tough on such
short notice--

- Come, on man,
it's for Lincoln!

- Uh...sure.
I can make a call.

Ahh...here comes
the lovely lady now.

- Hello, Rusty!

I'm very excited to meet
this white-haired gentleman

you told me about.

- Rusty, who is that?!

- Uh, my piano teacher?

[dramatic musical sting]

Guys, give me a break!

I've been going through
a bit of a dry spell.

- [sighs] What are we
gonna do, guys?

Nothing seems to be working.

- Hi...yah!

- Wait a minute, guys!
Maybe instead of

meeting someone who likes
the same things as Lincoln,

he needs to meet someone

who likes the same things
as Ronnie Anne.

- Wha-wha-wha!

[screams]

- Ooh, good thinking,
man!

- You should write your own
pamphlets, dawg!

- Well, I finally got all
the hot buttered popcorn

out of my hair and--
Aah!

- Hey, we were thinking about
doing some group karate.

- Uh, guys?
I thought you said group.

- Oh, did you wantto spar?

- No, uh, that's--

- Uh...
[whack, Lincoln yells]

I don't think beautiful ladies
is doing the trick.

- Hi-yah!
[wham]

- Well, in that case,
it's time to move on

to the final letter of B.B.P.--
P for Paradise.

[thud]
- Uhh!

- The pamphlet says

Tahiti and Hawaii
are good options.

- Wha-wha-wha-wha!
- Hmm...

Sounds a little
out of our budget.

- "Hazeltucky Motel
and Water Park."

- Yep! Three days in paradise!
We even packed your bag.

- Uh, guys, I appreciate
the thought,

but why are you doing this?

- Because, buddy, it's the only
way to cure your P.B.B.!

- I have peanut butter breath,
and no one told me?!

- No, Post-Breakup Blues.

We know Ronnie Anne
broke your heart

when she moved away,
and we're trying to

help you put the pieces
back together.

- Yeah, we seen you standing
outside her house,

lookin' like a cat
who done lost his saucer!

- [laughs] Oh, man, that's what
this is all about?

Guys, you got it all wrong.
I don't miss Ronnie Anne.

- Here comes
the denial spiral...

- No, seriously,
I was only sitting

in front of her house because--
- All aboard!

[no sound]

- He'll thank us later.

- Yeah. I just hope he knows
how lucky he is

to have friends like us.

[phone vibrates]

- Huh. Lincoln
must've dropped his phone.

Ronnie Anne?! Ughh!
Unbelievable!

She's still tormenting him?
I'll handle this.

Hello, Ronnie Anne.

This is Clyde,
Lincoln's best friend.

- I know who you are, Clyde.
Where's Lincoln?

- You need to leave him alone!

- Yeah! He needs space
to get over you!

- Get over me?

- Yeah, since you left,
the poor guy's just been

standing in front
of your old house every day.

- Yeah! Because I asked him to
look out for a package

that was sent to me there.

- How's that now?
all: Uh-oh.

- Did you guys do something
stupid again?

- We have to stop that bus!

- Snake formation!
It'll cut down wind resistance!

all: Aaaahhhh!

- I'm glad
they caught you in time.

- Yeah, I've never seen Clyde
run that fast.

He actually threw up.

- You must've been furious
with them

for putting you through
all of that.

- Nah, they were just trying
to be good friends.

Besides, I think they're
suffering enough right now.

- Man, this bird poop
isn't coming out!

- Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe it's donkey poop
that comes out easy

and it's that dang bird poop
that you gotta worry about.

- Well, the good news is,
your package finally arrived!

- Cool! Hey,
could you open it for me?

I want to make sure
it's not damaged.

- [laughing]

Oh, man.
That cost me 25 bucks,

but it was so worth it.

Smell ya later, lame-o.

- Ugh! Ronnie Anne!

Ha.
I guess the guys were right.

I really do miss her.

[dramatic,
sweeping music]

♪

[coyote howls]

[thunder rumbles]

I so enjoy our nightly strolls,
Fangs.

- [squeaking]

- Guys, this looks so good!

- We should literally be
interior designers!

- Hey, guys.
[all gasp]

Why are you painting
the bathroom

my least favorite color?
- Uh, duh!

We all voted on it at
the sibling meeting, remember?

- So based on the leftover paint
in the garage,

our options are: pink...
[giggles]

or black.
All in favor of pink?

- Aye!
- [squeals]

Great! We all agree.
Pink it is!

- Sigh.
Well, I wasn't there.

But of course, as usual,
no one noticed.

- Oh, come on!
Exaggerate much?

- Whoops!
Sorry, I didn't notice you!

- Oh, spirits, I summon thee--

- [shrieks] What?!

No! She did NOT!

- Oh, spirits, I summon thee--

- Aaaaahhh!

Okay! First we send in
recon falcons

to assess
the enemy's firepower!

- Grr!

Oh, spirits--

- Easy on starboard!

And stroke, stroke, stroke.

- Ugh!

[overlapping chatter]

- Guys,
could you keep it down?

I'm trying to contact--

Oof!

- Last slice of pie.
Who wants it?

- [shrieking]
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!

- Um, I raised my hand--

- I can't believe
no one else wanted this!

- Sigh.

- 'Scuse me!
[overlapping chatter]

- I call left armrest.

- Next, on
"Vampires of Melancholia"...

- Griselda, I know you're only
seeing that werewolf

to make me jealous--

[buzzer sound]
- Ehh!

- Next, on "The Audition"...

- Hey!
I had the remote first.

- Sorry, dude, we also voted on
tonight's TV show

at the sibling meeting!

- Grr!

Will someone please hand me
my poetry journal?

I have some very strong
feelings to express.

- Oops, clumsy me.

- Aaarrrhhh!

- Did anyone hear something?

- [groans] Edwin,
no matter what I do,

my siblings walk all over me.

At least when things get bad,
I can go to my secret dark place

which...they've filled
with their junk.

Typical.

Sigh.

[grunting]

Oh, look!

This trunk belonged to
Great-Grandma Harriet.

She was a pretty cool lady.

See?

Ooh. What's this?

[inhales, blows]

"Ancient Book of Spells."

Whoa!

Hmm...if I can't get through
to my siblings,

maybe a little magic will.

- It's like, Carol gets
eyelash extensions

and suddenly
she's too good for us?

I know. I know!

- So you like disrupting
my séances

with your inane phone calls?

"Eye of newt and toe of frog,

Cease this endless dialogue."

- Whitney? Whitney? Hello?

What?! No!
This can't be happening!

♪

- So you like putting your muddy
butt on my favorite seat?

"Lizard's leg
and howlet's wing,

Bring vengeance
with an itchy sting."

- [yelps]

[whimpering]

- [humming]

- So you can't help spilling
your chemicals on my stuff?

"Gall of goat,
slips of yew.

Turn clumsy
fingers into glue."

- Oopsie!

Hmm. That's atypical.

- [laughs]
[crash]

- Of course,
now I have to tinkle.

- Okay, guys,
now that I've taken care of

my disruptive siblings,
let's try this again.

Ohhhhh, spirit of Goldie,

our late family fish,

who really flushed you?

- Guys, I'm glad I can't
use my phone,

because this conversation

literally had to happen
in person!

[all giggling, chattering]

- Oh, man, Edwin's fangs
really dig into the itch!

- Give him to me!
Give that to me now!

Aaaah!

- Oh, great.

And I just got
the toilet seat off my butt.

- I don't know what to do,
Great-Grandma.

Even when I use the spells,
nothing changes around here.

It's so frustrating!

Gasp!
This spell is too perfect!

It has to work!

Thanks for giving me a sign.

Though next time, a simple
flickering light will do.

Mmmmm.

Mmmm...

- Hey, Luce!

- Hey, what?

- Come on!
Time to visit Pop Pop!

- We voted on where to sit
in Vanzilla,

and you got the soggy seat.

- You guys go without me.

I'm in the middle
of something important.

Hmm. We'll see who sits in
the soggy seat from now on.

Round about the bedrooms go,

on their pillows,
spell dust throw,

by sunrise they will have
no choice

but to listen to my voice.

Night, night,
Great-Grandma Harriet.

Yawn!

Ugh! Lynn!

This spell
cannot work fast enough.

- Hey, guys.

[no sound]

Yes!

Now everything
is gonna change around here.

Next item of business:
repainting the bathroom.

All opposed to black
say "nay".

[silence]

No one? Black it is!

[light music]

Num, num, num!

I can't believe
no one else wanted this!

[owl hoots]

- Griselda, you're back.

I see you've come
to your senses.

- No, I just found out
I'm allergic to wolf hair.

- Thank you,
Great-Grandma Harriet!

Today was awesome, and it's all
thanks to your book of spells.

- Lynn, what's wrong?!

Oh, now, c'mon kiddo--
Whoa!

Your crew meet
can't have gone that badly!

[no sound]

- Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

- They literally
kicked you off the team?

That is not fair!

[grunting]

- Lincoln, you got one of
your friends killed?

- Commander Loud,
what's our move?

[no sound]

You want us to...
frost a birthday cake?

- I think he wants us
to attack.

I'm just going to attack.

Rusty Spokes!

- Rusty, no!

- Uh-oh.
- It's an ambush!

Oh, the horror!

- Lori, honey,

I'm sure it's not
the end of the world.

- What's with the silent
treatment, Lori?

Do you think
you're better than us?

Uch! Whatever.
Friendship. Over.

- No worries! You can always
hang out with your old mom.

You can join my book club!

[somber music]

- I messed up,
Great-Grandma Harriet.

I didn't mean to ruin
everyone's life.

I just hope there's a way
to undo the spell.

Gasp! "To put a spell
back on the shelf,

transfer the effects
on to yourself."

Whoa.

Okay, don't worry guys,
I didn't call this meeting

to force any more
resolutions on you.

I just want to
make a confession.

I was getting really fed up

with the way you guys
walk all over me, so...

I cast a spell
to take away your voices.

I'm really sorry,
but don't worry,

I can fix it by transferring
the spell to myself.

Yes, I'll never speak again,
but I guess I deserve it for--

[no sound]

Why are you laughing?

You...want me to frost
a birthday cake?

I didn't take away
your voices?

Then how come
you can't talk?

- Whoo!
- Go, Pop Pop!

[overlapping shouting]

[whooping, cheering]

[chanting]
Pop Pop, Pop Pop!

Pop Pop!
- You lost your voices

at Pop Pop's
shuffleboard match?

But what about
my other spells?

Lori, I killed your phone.

Oh. So the battery just died.

But Lana, what about my spell
to make your butt itch?

You rolled around in
poison ivy again?

[arf!]

Well, what about you, Lisa?

Didn't my spell make your
fingers sticky?

I...don't understand
any of that.

[click]
- Day 1,482 in the lab:

Accidentally
spilled new formula,

but turns out to be
excellent adhesive.

Apply for patent immediately.

- Okay, well, I'm still sorry
for casting those spells,

even if they didn't work.

I should have made
more of an effort

to tell you guys how I felt.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

- Uh...okay. Thanks, Leni.

What? Oh!
My show's on?

You guys
want to watch it too?

That's awesome.
I'll be right down.

I just have to take care
of one thing.

[upbeat music]

Well, Great-Grandma Harriet,
I guess this book of spells

didn't work after all.
But that's okay,

because I got a pretty magical
result all the same.

[eerie music]
[thunder rumbles]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with 11 kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.