The Loud House (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Project Loud House/In Tents Debate - full transcript
The girls get in Lincoln's way when he tries to get to school on time. / The Loud family cannot decide on a vacation destination.
[rock music]
♪
- And finally,
the motion to ration shampoo
due to chronic shortages
passed...
by a hair!
[laughs]
[all groan]
- So the minutes from our last
meeting are approved.
Any new business?
Anyone?
Anyone?
No one?
- Lori!
- I'm just messing with you.
Lincoln has the floor.
- As you all know,
our annual trip
to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds
is quickly approaching.
[all groan]
- That place is the worst.
Bears always steal our food.
- [roars]
- And we have to sleep
on the hard ground.
- And poop in the woods.
- I like pooping in the woods.
- And the Dipterum Culicidae are
the size of Mustelas Nivalis.
[crickets chirping]
The mosquitoes are the size
of weasels.
- And don't forget the scary
hill people hiding in the trees.
- There's no such thing
as hill people, Lincoln.
- My point is,
why can't we go someplace
different like Aloha Beach
or Dairyland Amusement Park?
- Because Mom and Dad
will never go for it.
- How do we know?
We've never asked.
[overlapping chatter]
- Fine.
All in favor of Lincoln wasting
his time and asking Mom and Dad?
[sighs]
Motion passes.
- Fine with us, sweetie.
- Sure, son.
I don't see why not.
[all cheering]
- So which is it?
Aloha Beach or Dairyland?
- Oh, they didn't say.
I guess it's up to us
to decide.
All in favor of Aloha Beach?
One, two, three, four, five.
- You want to go to the beach,
Lucy?
- Two words.
Shark attacks.
- All in favor of Dairyland?
One, two, three, four, five.
- It's five against five.
We win!
- It's a tie, Leni.
- Wait a minute.
Lincoln didn't vote.
- Well, Lincoln,
what's it gonna be?
- It's so hard to choose.
I really like the beach...
[overlapping chatter]
But I love Dairyland.
[overlapping chatter]
I don't know.
I can't decide.
I need more time.
Can I have till the end
of the day?
- Really?
- Fine.
You have until the end
of the day to decide.
[bangs table]
- [sighs]
Now I've done it.
If I choose Aloha Beach,
five of my sisters
are gonna be mad at me,
and if I choose Dairyland,
the other five will be mad.
Making a decision
is gonna be rough.
- Hey, Linky.
I brought you something.
A short stack
from your favorite short stack.
You should never make a big
decision on an empty stomach.
- Wow.
Thanks, Lola.
- Hey, little bro.
I was just thinking,
with all the pressure
you're under to decide,
maybe a massage
would help you relax.
Hiya!
- [voice shaking]
Uh, this is awkward.
Down a little.
I carry most of my stress
in my lower back.
Ahh.
- Shower time.
- Huh?
- Take a nice long one.
I cleared the bathroom schedule.
- Wait.
You guys aren't trying
to get my vote
for Aloha Beach,
are you?
both: No.
- No, no, no.
- Wait, I thought we were.
[sighing together]
[mechanical whirring]
- Cleaning my room?
You guys aren't trying
to get my vote
for Dairyland, are you?
- What? No.
- No, no.
- Now that's funny.
- Of course we are.
- I amend my earlier statement.
Deciding on where to go
for our vacation
might not be so rough after all.
all: Aloha, Lincoln.
[light Hawaiian music]
- What's that?
- It's your homework.
All done.
- Uh, you did it?
- I did.
- Phew!
I mean, not that it matters.
[clown horn honks]
[gasps]
- Hiya, Lincoln!
- Tippy the cow!
- Well, that's right!
And guess what I have
for my favorite fan!
- You did my laundry?
Wow.
Thanks, Tippy.
- You're welcome.
[clown horn honks]
I'll see you soon
at America's favorite
dairy-themed a-moo-sement park!
- Bye, Tippy!
I love that cow.
[dramatic music]
- Welcome to your own
private beach
where we have sun, sand,
and surf.
- Don't forget screams.
[girls gasp]
- [roars]
[girls scream]
- And if you vote Team Beach,
the fun
will literally never stop.
- Yeah. If you need anything
else, just give us a toot.
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
- What's happening?
- All aboard the I-Screamer!
- Please keep your arms and legs
inside the ride at all times.
- Woo-hoo!
Faster, faster!
[laughs]
- Hope you enjoyed
the ride, bro.
- If you vote for Dairyland,
you'll have 2% more fun.
[laughs]
- If you require our services...
[rings cowbell]
Just call on Team Tippy.
[upbeat rock music]
[rings cowbell]
♪
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
[rings cowbell]
♪
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
[rings cowbell]
♪
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
[rings cowbell]
♪
- All right, Lincoln.
Your time's up.
What's it gonna be?
- I know I said I'd decide
by the end of the day,
but I'm still torn.
Can I have just one more day?
- Why, you lousy little--
- Uh, not a problem.
[chuckles]
We understand.
- All right.
- For sure, Lincoln.
- Can you blame me?
No matter what I decide,
five of them are still gonna
be mad at me,
but this day has been amazing.
So I figure why not take
advantage of it a little longer?
- Ugh! What are we going to do,
you guys?
We need to try harder to show
him why the beach is better.
- Or maybe we show him
why Dairyland is worse.
- Got to pee, got to pee,
got to pee!
Note to self.
No more cocoa before bed.
What's going on?
- Waiting in line
for the bathroom.
Better get used
to standing in lines
if you're gonna vote
for Dairyland.
- [yelping]
- [yawns]
[toilet flushes]
Ah! Ooh! Ah!
Aah!
What?
"Sorry! This ride
is temporarily closed"?
No!
- Oh, so that's
how they want to play?
- [whimpers]
[water running]
Ahh, sweet relief!
Ah! Freezing!
What happened
to all the hot water?
- You better get used to it
if you vote for the beach.
- Because the average ocean
temperature
is 16.6 degrees Celsius.
- Uh, guys, FYI,
sand in my crack does not make
me want to vote for the beach.
[both laugh]
[rock music]
Guys! Guys, too fast!
Too fast, guys!
Guys, too fast!
I'm gonna hurl!
[vomits]
Word of advice.
Blowing chunks does not make me
want to vote for Dairyland.
"Everything you'll need for fun
in the sun.
Enjoy. Team Beach."
SPF 800 sunscreen.
Perfect for my fair skin.
Hm, tingly.
[skin sizzles]
[bell rings]
Aah! News flash!
Giving me a sunburn
is not the way to win my vote.
- Huh?
Sodium hydrochlorite?
"Avoid contact with skin"?
This has Lisa written
all over it.
- So that's how you spell Lisa?
[clown horn honks]
- [gasps]
Tippy!
Ah!
Mad cow!
Mad cow!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[sighs]
- Well?
- Worked like a charm.
Aloha Beach is in our future.
- We knew it!
You've been sabotaging us.
- We sabotaged you?
You put sand
in Lincoln's underpants.
- But you started it
with the line for the bathroom.
[overlapping arguing]
- [groans]
[rings cowbell and blows conch]
Can I get an ice pack?
Some bandages?
A hug?
Where is everybody?
[overlapping arguing]
[rings cowbell and blows conch]
I'm blowing the conch,
I'm ringing the bell,
and yet, nothing.
- You!
This is all your fault.
- Yeah.
If you had just made up
your mind,
none of this
would have happened.
[overlapping arguing]
- Great.
I was afraid of making
five of my sisters mad at me,
but now all ten are.
There's only one thing
left to do.
- Fine with us, sweetie.
- Sure, son.
I don't see why not.
- Quiet down!
I've made my decision.
We're going
to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds!
all: What?
- But what about the bears?
- And the Dipterum Culicidae
bites?
- And the pooping
in the woods?
- That's still the only reason
I'd go.
- Ugh, this is literally going
to be the worst vacation ever.
This is literally
the best vacation ever.
[overlapping agreements]
- Why were we
so against this place?
[rings cowbell]
♪
- [blows conch shell]
- [rings cowbell]
- Ah!
Ooh!
[grunts]
[screams]
- [blows conch shell]
- [screams]
- [rings cowbell]
♪
- It may not be much
of a vacation for me,
but it's worth it if all ten
of my sisters are happy.
I'd say
everything turned out A-okay.
[sinister laughter]
[screams]
The hill people
hiding in the trees!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our
love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
♪
- And finally,
the motion to ration shampoo
due to chronic shortages
passed...
by a hair!
[laughs]
[all groan]
- So the minutes from our last
meeting are approved.
Any new business?
Anyone?
Anyone?
No one?
- Lori!
- I'm just messing with you.
Lincoln has the floor.
- As you all know,
our annual trip
to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds
is quickly approaching.
[all groan]
- That place is the worst.
Bears always steal our food.
- [roars]
- And we have to sleep
on the hard ground.
- And poop in the woods.
- I like pooping in the woods.
- And the Dipterum Culicidae are
the size of Mustelas Nivalis.
[crickets chirping]
The mosquitoes are the size
of weasels.
- And don't forget the scary
hill people hiding in the trees.
- There's no such thing
as hill people, Lincoln.
- My point is,
why can't we go someplace
different like Aloha Beach
or Dairyland Amusement Park?
- Because Mom and Dad
will never go for it.
- How do we know?
We've never asked.
[overlapping chatter]
- Fine.
All in favor of Lincoln wasting
his time and asking Mom and Dad?
[sighs]
Motion passes.
- Fine with us, sweetie.
- Sure, son.
I don't see why not.
[all cheering]
- So which is it?
Aloha Beach or Dairyland?
- Oh, they didn't say.
I guess it's up to us
to decide.
All in favor of Aloha Beach?
One, two, three, four, five.
- You want to go to the beach,
Lucy?
- Two words.
Shark attacks.
- All in favor of Dairyland?
One, two, three, four, five.
- It's five against five.
We win!
- It's a tie, Leni.
- Wait a minute.
Lincoln didn't vote.
- Well, Lincoln,
what's it gonna be?
- It's so hard to choose.
I really like the beach...
[overlapping chatter]
But I love Dairyland.
[overlapping chatter]
I don't know.
I can't decide.
I need more time.
Can I have till the end
of the day?
- Really?
- Fine.
You have until the end
of the day to decide.
[bangs table]
- [sighs]
Now I've done it.
If I choose Aloha Beach,
five of my sisters
are gonna be mad at me,
and if I choose Dairyland,
the other five will be mad.
Making a decision
is gonna be rough.
- Hey, Linky.
I brought you something.
A short stack
from your favorite short stack.
You should never make a big
decision on an empty stomach.
- Wow.
Thanks, Lola.
- Hey, little bro.
I was just thinking,
with all the pressure
you're under to decide,
maybe a massage
would help you relax.
Hiya!
- [voice shaking]
Uh, this is awkward.
Down a little.
I carry most of my stress
in my lower back.
Ahh.
- Shower time.
- Huh?
- Take a nice long one.
I cleared the bathroom schedule.
- Wait.
You guys aren't trying
to get my vote
for Aloha Beach,
are you?
both: No.
- No, no, no.
- Wait, I thought we were.
[sighing together]
[mechanical whirring]
- Cleaning my room?
You guys aren't trying
to get my vote
for Dairyland, are you?
- What? No.
- No, no.
- Now that's funny.
- Of course we are.
- I amend my earlier statement.
Deciding on where to go
for our vacation
might not be so rough after all.
all: Aloha, Lincoln.
[light Hawaiian music]
- What's that?
- It's your homework.
All done.
- Uh, you did it?
- I did.
- Phew!
I mean, not that it matters.
[clown horn honks]
[gasps]
- Hiya, Lincoln!
- Tippy the cow!
- Well, that's right!
And guess what I have
for my favorite fan!
- You did my laundry?
Wow.
Thanks, Tippy.
- You're welcome.
[clown horn honks]
I'll see you soon
at America's favorite
dairy-themed a-moo-sement park!
- Bye, Tippy!
I love that cow.
[dramatic music]
- Welcome to your own
private beach
where we have sun, sand,
and surf.
- Don't forget screams.
[girls gasp]
- [roars]
[girls scream]
- And if you vote Team Beach,
the fun
will literally never stop.
- Yeah. If you need anything
else, just give us a toot.
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
- What's happening?
- All aboard the I-Screamer!
- Please keep your arms and legs
inside the ride at all times.
- Woo-hoo!
Faster, faster!
[laughs]
- Hope you enjoyed
the ride, bro.
- If you vote for Dairyland,
you'll have 2% more fun.
[laughs]
- If you require our services...
[rings cowbell]
Just call on Team Tippy.
[upbeat rock music]
[rings cowbell]
♪
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
[rings cowbell]
♪
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
[rings cowbell]
♪
[blows note on conch shell]
♪
[rings cowbell]
♪
- All right, Lincoln.
Your time's up.
What's it gonna be?
- I know I said I'd decide
by the end of the day,
but I'm still torn.
Can I have just one more day?
- Why, you lousy little--
- Uh, not a problem.
[chuckles]
We understand.
- All right.
- For sure, Lincoln.
- Can you blame me?
No matter what I decide,
five of them are still gonna
be mad at me,
but this day has been amazing.
So I figure why not take
advantage of it a little longer?
- Ugh! What are we going to do,
you guys?
We need to try harder to show
him why the beach is better.
- Or maybe we show him
why Dairyland is worse.
- Got to pee, got to pee,
got to pee!
Note to self.
No more cocoa before bed.
What's going on?
- Waiting in line
for the bathroom.
Better get used
to standing in lines
if you're gonna vote
for Dairyland.
- [yelping]
- [yawns]
[toilet flushes]
Ah! Ooh! Ah!
Aah!
What?
"Sorry! This ride
is temporarily closed"?
No!
- Oh, so that's
how they want to play?
- [whimpers]
[water running]
Ahh, sweet relief!
Ah! Freezing!
What happened
to all the hot water?
- You better get used to it
if you vote for the beach.
- Because the average ocean
temperature
is 16.6 degrees Celsius.
- Uh, guys, FYI,
sand in my crack does not make
me want to vote for the beach.
[both laugh]
[rock music]
Guys! Guys, too fast!
Too fast, guys!
Guys, too fast!
I'm gonna hurl!
[vomits]
Word of advice.
Blowing chunks does not make me
want to vote for Dairyland.
"Everything you'll need for fun
in the sun.
Enjoy. Team Beach."
SPF 800 sunscreen.
Perfect for my fair skin.
Hm, tingly.
[skin sizzles]
[bell rings]
Aah! News flash!
Giving me a sunburn
is not the way to win my vote.
- Huh?
Sodium hydrochlorite?
"Avoid contact with skin"?
This has Lisa written
all over it.
- So that's how you spell Lisa?
[clown horn honks]
- [gasps]
Tippy!
Ah!
Mad cow!
Mad cow!
[screaming]
[grunting]
[sighs]
- Well?
- Worked like a charm.
Aloha Beach is in our future.
- We knew it!
You've been sabotaging us.
- We sabotaged you?
You put sand
in Lincoln's underpants.
- But you started it
with the line for the bathroom.
[overlapping arguing]
- [groans]
[rings cowbell and blows conch]
Can I get an ice pack?
Some bandages?
A hug?
Where is everybody?
[overlapping arguing]
[rings cowbell and blows conch]
I'm blowing the conch,
I'm ringing the bell,
and yet, nothing.
- You!
This is all your fault.
- Yeah.
If you had just made up
your mind,
none of this
would have happened.
[overlapping arguing]
- Great.
I was afraid of making
five of my sisters mad at me,
but now all ten are.
There's only one thing
left to do.
- Fine with us, sweetie.
- Sure, son.
I don't see why not.
- Quiet down!
I've made my decision.
We're going
to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds!
all: What?
- But what about the bears?
- And the Dipterum Culicidae
bites?
- And the pooping
in the woods?
- That's still the only reason
I'd go.
- Ugh, this is literally going
to be the worst vacation ever.
This is literally
the best vacation ever.
[overlapping agreements]
- Why were we
so against this place?
[rings cowbell]
♪
- [blows conch shell]
- [rings cowbell]
- Ah!
Ooh!
[grunts]
[screams]
- [blows conch shell]
- [screams]
- [rings cowbell]
♪
- It may not be much
of a vacation for me,
but it's worth it if all ten
of my sisters are happy.
I'd say
everything turned out A-okay.
[sinister laughter]
[screams]
The hill people
hiding in the trees!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our
love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house