The Loud House (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Heavy Meddle/Making the Case - full transcript
Lincoln becomes fed up with his siblings constantly meddling in his business. / Lincoln films his sisters in an attempt to win a video contest.
- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rock music]
♪
[clothing rustles]
- Really?
[laughter]
[bell rings]
Oh, real original!
[laughter]
[bell rings]
[flatulence]
That's real mature!
[laughter]
[bell rings]
[laughter]
All right, that's it!
[bell rings]
- So you really
confronted that bully?
- That's right. I said to meet
me at 3:30 in front of my house
and we're gonna settle this.
- Whoa!
You're gonna fight?
- I'm not an animal, Clyde.
I'm going to deliver
a strongly worded speech...
as soon as I write it.
- Looks like that bully
left you a note of their own.
- Huh?
"Lame-O."
- [sniffs]
Ooh, watermelon lime!
- Better not let
my sisters see this,
'cause then they'll want
to get involved
and make things worse,
the way they always do.
- I don't know,
maybe they'd be helpful.
Your sister Lori
gives great advice.
She told me
to never be myself.
I love that woman.
- Aw, Clyde.
Sweet, innocent Clyde.
He has no idea what it's like
to have ten meddling sisters.
[grunts]
[upbeat music]
[machinery whirs and buzzes]
♪
[muffled shouts]
Phew!
- Here comes the airplane!
Oopsie!
- Ah!
It burns!
And that was just a paper cut.
- Well, then you better
get that gum out.
You want to look
intimidating for that bully.
- I was born intimidating.
Ew, ew, gross.
- You know, peanut butter
will get that gum out.
- Should I use chunky
or smooth?
- Well, if you use chunky,
you're gonna
have to use smooth
to get the chunks out.
- Good point.
Thanks, pal.
[dramatic music]
♪
The National Weather Service
reports clear skies
with only a 20% chance
of meddling sisters.
But we advise keeping
your umbrella handy.
Shh.
[toy squeaks]
[toy whistles]
- Shh.
- Shh.
- Hold it right there!
He wore cargo shorts
on your date?
That is literally the worst
thing I have ever heard.
- Phew!
Peanut butter, peanut butter,
where's the peanut butter?
- [humming melody]
Hey, bro.
- Oh, hey, Luna,
what's the haps?
- Rad way to chill out, bro.
- Right?
Totally rad.
- Hey, hook me up
with some pudding.
- Gross!
- Thanks.
Stay cool.
- Peanut butter!
Ah, why do people put empty jars
back in the fridge?
I need a plan B.
- Socks and sandals?
Cut it out.
- "Cut it out."
That's it!
- Now that is literally
the worst thing
I have ever heard.
♪
- Hey, Luan.
- Hey, Lincoln.
What do you think
of this joke?
If I were you,
I'd go for the baboon.
- I don't get it.
- Oh, well,
that's just the punch line.
I still got to think
of the setup.
♪
- Lincoln, honey, I need you
to take out the trash!
- Okay, Mom, five minutes!
- Not five minutes, now!
- I will,
just give me three minutes.
- Lincoln,
listen to your mother!
- [groans]
♪
[groans]
- Hey, Lincoln,
is my desk lamp in there?
I can't find it anywhere.
- Nope, have you tried
looking on your desk?
- So smart.
What's up with that hat?
- Oh, this?
These are all the rage
right now.
I'm surprised
you didn't know.
- Hm.
- Phew!
- Greetings, human.
There's Liquidambar Styraciflua
in your follicular area.
- A what in my who now?
- You've got gum
in your hair.
- Oh, yes,
I'm sure it's just--
- I assume that being
of average intelligence,
you didn't place it there
yourself.
Therefore I can only deduce that
someone has been picking on you.
- Lisa, please,
you can't tell.
I don't want everyone
getting involved.
- Don't worry, I do not have
enough room in my brain
for this kind of tomfoolery.
- Phew!
[overlapping chatter]
[scissors snip]
- You're being picked on.
- Lisa, I thought you
weren't going to say anything.
- No, what I said was
I did not have room in my brain
for your secret.
Hence, I removed it
and transferred it to Lynn,
whose brain
apparently has ample room.
- Thanks.
Hey!
- So, you are being picked on.
- Of course not.
- Then what's that?
- That's just my gum.
Mm!
Watermelon lime.
And hair.
[retches]
[overlapping chatter]
Guys, guys, please stay
out of this!
You'll only make it worse.
- If by worse you mean better,
I agree.
- You should go straight
to the school principal.
- Forget that.
You should literally text
an embarrassing picture
of him to all his friends.
- I'm gonna
write an insult comedy routine
that'll leave him in tears.
- [shouts]
Basic stealth ninja kick.
That's how you're gonna
take him down.
- [groans]
Well, folks,
the National Weather Service
has just released a category
one sisternado watch.
We advise boarding up
your windows
and preparing
your emergency supplies.
- That's the camel clutch,
another good option for you.
- Well, look, I don't need any--
- We'll start
with some basic dumb jokes.
Like, you're so dumb you
locked yourself inside your car.
That kind of thing.
- Oh, I know!
I'll invite him to a tea party
and make him use
the chipped cup.
I'm so evil,
sometimes I scare even me.
- What are you doing?
- Surprise mime attack!
I invented that one myself.
- Lynn, I'm not going to fight.
I--
- Ugh! Fine, I'll take care
of this myself.
- You should do this.
[cymbals crash]
His ears'll be ringing for days.
- Ugly jokes are always good
too, like you're so ugly
you have to trick or treat
over the phone.
- What?
- Look, I found him.
- How dare you bully
our brother.
Only we get to do that.
- Smush your watermelon lime gum
in his hair, Lincoln.
Fine, I'll do it.
- Wait, stop!
This guy isn't my enemy.
Although thanks to you
he probably will be now.
- [growls]
- Oh, why are you still here?
- I can't believe
I almost wasted
perfectly good gum on him.
- I'll go get another boy.
- No! Lynn, stop!
It's not even a boy!
- Is it a dog?
- [sighs]
It's a girl.
[girls gasp]
[girls squeal]
What?
- Normally I don't care
for inane human emotions,
but...
[squeals]
- Lincoln, why didn't you
tell us you had a girlfriend?
- She sounds so pretty.
- What is happening?
- When a girl picks on you,
that only ever means one thing,
she likes you.
[girls squeal]
- That's ridiculous.
She shoved a sandwich
down my pants.
I was picking sesame seeds
out of my butt for days.
- Aww!
- So romantic.
- That's a classic.
- You guys are nuts.
She hates me.
I'm gonna meet her today
and give her a piece of my mind.
- You need to give her a piece
of your heart instead.
- What?
- I think he needs to kiss her.
- What?
- Kiss her!
[overlapping chatter]
- This just in from
the National weather Service,
the sisternado watch
has been upgraded
to a sisternado warning.
Take cover immediately!
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- [screams]
- Kiss her!
Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Mayday! Mayday!
Clyde, do you copy?
- Roger, I mean this is Clyde,
not Roger,
but yeah, roger, it's Clyde.
- My sisters have lost
their minds.
They think the bully likes me.
They want me to kiss her!
- I don't know.
Maybe they're right, Lincoln.
- My sisters are never right.
All they do is meddle.
- They're girls, Lincoln.
They know more about
these things then we do.
It's a scientific fact.
- Yeah, but there's no way
that--wow, me?
You really think
she might like me?
How would I know?
- There's only one way
to find out.
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Hold it!
So am I going to kiss this girl
or what?
[girls squeal]
- Again...
[squeals]
[watch beeps]
- It's 3:30.
Lola, lip balm.
Lana, breath mint.
Let's do this.
- Go get her, Romeo.
- You so got this,
little bro.
- Aw, our little Lincoln.
- All grown up.
[blows nose]
- All the bridesmaids
should wear these hats
at Lincoln's wedding.
These are all the rage
right now.
[groovy music]
[Lincoln smooches]
girls: Aww!
[punch thuds]
girls: Ooh!
- Sorry, buddy, our bad.
- Well, at least
you gave it a shot.
- I'll get some ice
for that shiner.
- X-ray machine, stat.
- I'm really sorry, Lincoln.
[overlapping chatter]
- Sorry, Lincoln.
- Quiet!
Every time you guys
butt into my life,
you make things worse.
Well, guess what.
Never again!
No more meddling!
[door closes]
I knew it all along.
I should never have
listened to them.
My sisters are always wrong.
- [whistles]
- Huh?
"Sorry, Lame-O.
Here's my number.
Text me"?
"For your eye.
XOXO, Ronnie Anne."
Okay, maybe just this one time
my sisters were right.
But don't tell them that!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our
love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rock music]
♪
[clothing rustles]
- Really?
[laughter]
[bell rings]
Oh, real original!
[laughter]
[bell rings]
[flatulence]
That's real mature!
[laughter]
[bell rings]
[laughter]
All right, that's it!
[bell rings]
- So you really
confronted that bully?
- That's right. I said to meet
me at 3:30 in front of my house
and we're gonna settle this.
- Whoa!
You're gonna fight?
- I'm not an animal, Clyde.
I'm going to deliver
a strongly worded speech...
as soon as I write it.
- Looks like that bully
left you a note of their own.
- Huh?
"Lame-O."
- [sniffs]
Ooh, watermelon lime!
- Better not let
my sisters see this,
'cause then they'll want
to get involved
and make things worse,
the way they always do.
- I don't know,
maybe they'd be helpful.
Your sister Lori
gives great advice.
She told me
to never be myself.
I love that woman.
- Aw, Clyde.
Sweet, innocent Clyde.
He has no idea what it's like
to have ten meddling sisters.
[grunts]
[upbeat music]
[machinery whirs and buzzes]
♪
[muffled shouts]
Phew!
- Here comes the airplane!
Oopsie!
- Ah!
It burns!
And that was just a paper cut.
- Well, then you better
get that gum out.
You want to look
intimidating for that bully.
- I was born intimidating.
Ew, ew, gross.
- You know, peanut butter
will get that gum out.
- Should I use chunky
or smooth?
- Well, if you use chunky,
you're gonna
have to use smooth
to get the chunks out.
- Good point.
Thanks, pal.
[dramatic music]
♪
The National Weather Service
reports clear skies
with only a 20% chance
of meddling sisters.
But we advise keeping
your umbrella handy.
Shh.
[toy squeaks]
[toy whistles]
- Shh.
- Shh.
- Hold it right there!
He wore cargo shorts
on your date?
That is literally the worst
thing I have ever heard.
- Phew!
Peanut butter, peanut butter,
where's the peanut butter?
- [humming melody]
Hey, bro.
- Oh, hey, Luna,
what's the haps?
- Rad way to chill out, bro.
- Right?
Totally rad.
- Hey, hook me up
with some pudding.
- Gross!
- Thanks.
Stay cool.
- Peanut butter!
Ah, why do people put empty jars
back in the fridge?
I need a plan B.
- Socks and sandals?
Cut it out.
- "Cut it out."
That's it!
- Now that is literally
the worst thing
I have ever heard.
♪
- Hey, Luan.
- Hey, Lincoln.
What do you think
of this joke?
If I were you,
I'd go for the baboon.
- I don't get it.
- Oh, well,
that's just the punch line.
I still got to think
of the setup.
♪
- Lincoln, honey, I need you
to take out the trash!
- Okay, Mom, five minutes!
- Not five minutes, now!
- I will,
just give me three minutes.
- Lincoln,
listen to your mother!
- [groans]
♪
[groans]
- Hey, Lincoln,
is my desk lamp in there?
I can't find it anywhere.
- Nope, have you tried
looking on your desk?
- So smart.
What's up with that hat?
- Oh, this?
These are all the rage
right now.
I'm surprised
you didn't know.
- Hm.
- Phew!
- Greetings, human.
There's Liquidambar Styraciflua
in your follicular area.
- A what in my who now?
- You've got gum
in your hair.
- Oh, yes,
I'm sure it's just--
- I assume that being
of average intelligence,
you didn't place it there
yourself.
Therefore I can only deduce that
someone has been picking on you.
- Lisa, please,
you can't tell.
I don't want everyone
getting involved.
- Don't worry, I do not have
enough room in my brain
for this kind of tomfoolery.
- Phew!
[overlapping chatter]
[scissors snip]
- You're being picked on.
- Lisa, I thought you
weren't going to say anything.
- No, what I said was
I did not have room in my brain
for your secret.
Hence, I removed it
and transferred it to Lynn,
whose brain
apparently has ample room.
- Thanks.
Hey!
- So, you are being picked on.
- Of course not.
- Then what's that?
- That's just my gum.
Mm!
Watermelon lime.
And hair.
[retches]
[overlapping chatter]
Guys, guys, please stay
out of this!
You'll only make it worse.
- If by worse you mean better,
I agree.
- You should go straight
to the school principal.
- Forget that.
You should literally text
an embarrassing picture
of him to all his friends.
- I'm gonna
write an insult comedy routine
that'll leave him in tears.
- [shouts]
Basic stealth ninja kick.
That's how you're gonna
take him down.
- [groans]
Well, folks,
the National Weather Service
has just released a category
one sisternado watch.
We advise boarding up
your windows
and preparing
your emergency supplies.
- That's the camel clutch,
another good option for you.
- Well, look, I don't need any--
- We'll start
with some basic dumb jokes.
Like, you're so dumb you
locked yourself inside your car.
That kind of thing.
- Oh, I know!
I'll invite him to a tea party
and make him use
the chipped cup.
I'm so evil,
sometimes I scare even me.
- What are you doing?
- Surprise mime attack!
I invented that one myself.
- Lynn, I'm not going to fight.
I--
- Ugh! Fine, I'll take care
of this myself.
- You should do this.
[cymbals crash]
His ears'll be ringing for days.
- Ugly jokes are always good
too, like you're so ugly
you have to trick or treat
over the phone.
- What?
- Look, I found him.
- How dare you bully
our brother.
Only we get to do that.
- Smush your watermelon lime gum
in his hair, Lincoln.
Fine, I'll do it.
- Wait, stop!
This guy isn't my enemy.
Although thanks to you
he probably will be now.
- [growls]
- Oh, why are you still here?
- I can't believe
I almost wasted
perfectly good gum on him.
- I'll go get another boy.
- No! Lynn, stop!
It's not even a boy!
- Is it a dog?
- [sighs]
It's a girl.
[girls gasp]
[girls squeal]
What?
- Normally I don't care
for inane human emotions,
but...
[squeals]
- Lincoln, why didn't you
tell us you had a girlfriend?
- She sounds so pretty.
- What is happening?
- When a girl picks on you,
that only ever means one thing,
she likes you.
[girls squeal]
- That's ridiculous.
She shoved a sandwich
down my pants.
I was picking sesame seeds
out of my butt for days.
- Aww!
- So romantic.
- That's a classic.
- You guys are nuts.
She hates me.
I'm gonna meet her today
and give her a piece of my mind.
- You need to give her a piece
of your heart instead.
- What?
- I think he needs to kiss her.
- What?
- Kiss her!
[overlapping chatter]
- This just in from
the National weather Service,
the sisternado watch
has been upgraded
to a sisternado warning.
Take cover immediately!
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- [screams]
- Kiss her!
Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Mayday! Mayday!
Clyde, do you copy?
- Roger, I mean this is Clyde,
not Roger,
but yeah, roger, it's Clyde.
- My sisters have lost
their minds.
They think the bully likes me.
They want me to kiss her!
- I don't know.
Maybe they're right, Lincoln.
- My sisters are never right.
All they do is meddle.
- They're girls, Lincoln.
They know more about
these things then we do.
It's a scientific fact.
- Yeah, but there's no way
that--wow, me?
You really think
she might like me?
How would I know?
- There's only one way
to find out.
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Hold it!
So am I going to kiss this girl
or what?
[girls squeal]
- Again...
[squeals]
[watch beeps]
- It's 3:30.
Lola, lip balm.
Lana, breath mint.
Let's do this.
- Go get her, Romeo.
- You so got this,
little bro.
- Aw, our little Lincoln.
- All grown up.
[blows nose]
- All the bridesmaids
should wear these hats
at Lincoln's wedding.
These are all the rage
right now.
[groovy music]
[Lincoln smooches]
girls: Aww!
[punch thuds]
girls: Ooh!
- Sorry, buddy, our bad.
- Well, at least
you gave it a shot.
- I'll get some ice
for that shiner.
- X-ray machine, stat.
- I'm really sorry, Lincoln.
[overlapping chatter]
- Sorry, Lincoln.
- Quiet!
Every time you guys
butt into my life,
you make things worse.
Well, guess what.
Never again!
No more meddling!
[door closes]
I knew it all along.
I should never have
listened to them.
My sisters are always wrong.
- [whistles]
- Huh?
"Sorry, Lame-O.
Here's my number.
Text me"?
"For your eye.
XOXO, Ronnie Anne."
Okay, maybe just this one time
my sisters were right.
But don't tell them that!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our
love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house