The Loretta Young Show (1953–1961): Season 1, Episode 1 - Trial Run - full transcript
The first episode of the series, explaining the letter anthology format. A shop girl is courted by a man whose family looks down upon her, so she feigns crassness to teach them a lesson. One of a few episodes with a laugh track.
[waves crashing]
[music]
Letter to Loretta.
Starring Loretta Young.
[music]
[clapping]
Hello.
You have no idea how really
delighted I am to be this night.
And if I seem excited and
little flustered while I am.
Because I've waited a long time for
this date and now we're keeping it.
I've been looking for a
special way to entertain you.
A way in which you
two could participate,
but without doing too much work.
Then one morning, as I was reading
my mail from you, the dawn broke.
I got an idea.
A very simple, and
I think good idea.
Why not add to this
mail in played form.
With the main character you.
That's exactly what
we're going to do.
So don't be surprised if you
find yourself saying tonight.
Hey, look, that's me.
Now, the letter that I'm
going to answer tonight
came to me from a young
lady in New York City.
And her name well,
we'll call her Carol Brown.
Dear Loretta, she said,
I suppose you get hundreds
of letters asking for advice.
Although you don't look like
a Beatrice Fair, thanks to me.
But here I go anyway.
I work in a department store
here at the perfume counter.
A few months ago, a
young man came into the
store and started
sniffing the perfume bottle
[music]
Might be suitable for a young lady.
Oh.
A blonde or brunette.
Kind of medium.
Oh.
Would you try to please?
It's called angel face.
[music]
[laugh]
A few days later, as I
was going over the stock.
I'd like to buy some perfume.
Oh.
Certainly, sir, what would you like?
What have you got?
Well, here's something nice.
It's called Balinese Dream.
[music]
[laugh]
I like it.
It'll be $27.45 please.
[laugh]
[music]
After that, he started
coming in every
two or three days
buying perfume.
We'd really gotten to know
each other quite well by then.
And then one day.
We got a wonderful
new shipment in today.
Yeah.
It's called orange blood.
Yeah.
[music]
[laugh]
Will you marry me?
[laugh]
[music]
Huh.
Some magic egg, girls?
Well I said yes of course.
And the following
savvy promised to go
down to Philadelphia
to meet his parents.
[music]
Go on here.
Yes, sir.
[door closing]
He thinks we're on a honeymoon.
-Why should he think that?
-I gave him a dollar.
Oh, generous man
for a 55 minutes ride.
You nervous?
Yes, a little.
Don't be. My family's not
going to eat you, you know.
I know, but well,
I know so little
about them, Keith.
What are they like?
Well, I can sum it up in a word.
-Shoot.
-Awful.
Nice.
Not awful nice, just awful.
[laugh]
Alright with the rest of the family?
Real snob.
-You're kidding.
-No, I wish I were.
Unless your name's in Who's
Who. They put you under who.
-Oh but...
-[laugh]
You think it's terrible?
How do you think I feel?
What are they going
to say? And they
find out I work in a
department store?
Honey, they'll probably want
to open the charge account.
Oh.
What's your mother like?
Oh, she's all right.
She still treats me as if I
were a small boy in short pants.
Oh, well, all mothers are like that.
She had her way
about it. I'd be marrying
the girl I went to
dancing school with.
-And who was that?
- Barbara. Barbara Parlow.
Is she nice?
Dear, the girl you go to
dancing school with is never nice.
[music]
I wish you had told
me all about this before.
Well, I wanted to be
sure you were hooked first.
But that isn't fair.
You want to back out?
We can still get off the train.
Oh, no but...
I suggested we get married first and
then go down to meet them, remember?
Yes, but that's not
the way to do it. I
should meet them first
and then get married.
That's exactly what we're doing.
Yeah.
-Darling.
-What?
I think I could use that kiss now.
[laugh]
[music]
Hello, Jenny.
Come on in, darling.
[putting luggage down]
You know, Jenny. It's unbelievable.
You get more beautiful every day.
I hope you wipe your feet
good. You know your mother.
Yes. Jenny.
Jenny, this is Ms. Brown.
How do you do, Jenny?
[laugh]
We were all wondering
what you'd look like.
We didn't know what time you
were coming or we just sent the car.
I got held up at the office.
-Where's Mother?
-Upstairs.
We're having dinner
promptly at seven.
Jenny. I'll show you
into the living room,
darling. I'll tell
Mother you're here.
-Alright.
-This way, miss.
[laugh]
[door opening]
Oh.
Oh.
Make yourself at home, miss.
Thank you.
-That Mrs. Warren's chair.
-Oh.
[laugh]
[music]
[laugh]
[telephone ringing]
This is Juan President.
Oh, it's you, Miss Barbara.
Yes, she's here.
Well, she's medium height
and I'll tell you, Miss Barbara,
she seems all right, but she
may be just putting that on.
I read about a girl the
other day who looked
alright, but in her spare
time she was robbing banks.
[laugh]
You never can tell nowaday.
No.
Alright, Miss Barbara. I'll
tell Mrs. Warren. Goodbye.
[music]
Really, Keith, it's so
inconsiderate of you
bringing this strange girl
here at the last minute.
Mother, why do you keep
calling her this strange girl?
This is the girl I'm going to marry.
I know, I know, my dear boy.
But she's strange to world.
Well, that's why I
want you to meet her.
From the way you go on, you think
she had three heads or something.
Oh, Keith, you mustn't be so
sensitive. After
all, I'm getting ready
to meet her. And we've arranged
this dinner especially for you.
It doesn't sound like a
very warm welcome to me.
Dad would have loved her.
Your father was just as
wayward and impulsive as you are.
He married you didn't he.
That was in one of his
more serious moments.
Now go down and show
the young lady to her room.
You may be sure I'll
show her every courtesy.
Mother sends her apologies,
darling, but you see, she's already
dressing for dinner. We always
eat dinner promptly at seven.
Do you always dress for dinner?
Not usually, but this is
sort of a special occasion.
All my aunts and uncles
insisted on being invited.
Oh, Keith, I hope I
brought the right clothes.
Don't worry, darling.
You look good in anything.
When a man says that, he's
usually not looking at the dress.
Come on.
[music]
Oh, I beg your pardon.
That's quite alright.
Are you Carol?
Yeah.
I'm Barbara Parlow.
Oh.
How do you do?
I had no idea
they'd put you in here.
I'm throwing the habit
of writing in here at the
last moment to see that
my makeup's on straight.
Oh, I see.
Tell me, I hear that
you work in a shop.
Is that true?
-Yeah. [laugh]
-Oh.
What kind of a shop?
Well, it's a department,
store. Would you mind?
I handle the perfume counter.
Well, that's not too bad.
I've never known anyone
who worked in a shop before.
That antique.
Well, we can't all be antique.
Well.
[laugh]
You're very brave to
come here, Miss Brown.
Brave?
Why?
Well, the Warrens are
very conservative, you know.
Miss Parlow, why
did you come in here?
I told you.
Oh come on let's be honest.
You came in her on purpose.
You see, I overheard you
talking to the maid on the phone
about me. And undoubtedly,
when you arrived for dinner tonight.
You asked exactly
where they put me.
that's right.
Frankly, I was just curious
to see what you'd be like.
Well, now that you've
seen, what do you think?
No, never mind. I
think I'd rather not hear.
[laugh]
I wonder if you know exactly
what you're getting into.
I know Keith that
that's what you mean.
No.
That is not what I mean.
You see, Mrs. Warren is
the head of our community.
And frankly, I just wonder if
you're going to be happy here.
Oh, we're not going to live here.
Oh.
-You are not?
-Oh no.
no Keith has his
job in new York and I.
Made you think we're
going to live here?
The Warrens always has.
Well, this one Warren is
going to be an exception.
Tell me.
Does his mother know?
But I really don't know.
And sense of Keith
I'm marrying, I don't
see how it makes
very much difference.
You have more courage
than I have to marry Keith.
Oh, don't be hard on yourself.
Maybe you've never
had the chance to
test your courage
in that particular way.
That's not true.
Keith proposed to me when
I was still in high school.
I wouldn't have had him if he'd been
handed to me on a silver platter.
Well, what about the platter?
I happen to know.
That Mrs. Warren has
already made up
her mind about you.
But that isn't fair. She
hasn't even seen me yet.
Nevertheless.
It's true.
If you happen to look like the
average shock girl, keith wouldn't
have had the courage to even
bring you here in the first place.
But I am the average shop girl.
Oh, you know what I mean.
The guns you encounter.
[laugh]
You know, Miss. Parlow.
You seem to have
gotten your conception
of a shop girl out
of the funny papers.
You know, most of the shopgirls
I know are just as nice as you are.
I resent that.
What? So would they, probably.
Look here, you
seem to think that if I
were the average
shop girl or that is
your idea of the
average shop girl the
Keith wouldn't marry
me because his family
wouldn't approve.
Well, I've got news
for you. I could walk
into that room on
my hands and Keith
would still marry
me whether his
family approved or not.
That's easy enough to say
it's easier to do.
They're expecting Bertha for the
bargain basement. That's exactly
what they're going to get. Just
to prove you how wrong you are.
You wouldn't there.
Oh, you bet I would.
And if you let one
peep out of you, I'll
wrap this hairbrush
around your noggin.
[laugh]
[music]
Charles, please sit down.
You're all going
to like her. I know.
She's the sweetest, simplest,
most charming girl I've ever met.
[door opening]
Well, hi everybody.
Oh.
[laugh]
Sorry I'm late
But I had some
trouble with my girdle.
[laugh]
Carol.
No, don't tell me. I want to guess.
I'll let me see.
This is mother.
Hello Mother.
You know you look
just like your pictures.
At least I haven't seen
any of that pictures
At least I haven't seen
any of your pictures.
But if I had, I'm sure
you'd look just like them.
And this is Aunt Eleanor.
-How do you do ma'am?
-How do you do?
And this is Uncle Charles.
Welcome my dear,
to a very dull family.
That's Uncle Ben.
No use talking to him,
he can't hear a word.
Oh lucky man
And this is Mrs. Ben.
How do you do, ma'am?
I believe you've met Miss Parlow.
Oh, have I met Ms.
Parlow? I'll say I have.
We have a little secret, haven't we?
Don't you tell now.
Charles.
I know.
You're going to ask
me what I want to drink.
Can you make a
Coney Island whizbang?
Whiz-bang?
Yeah. One part skin, two part
serving and three parts crazy.
[laugh]
You'll have fun fight.
Oh, I love champagne don't you?
You bet.
Mother.
Keith go along the punch.
It's nearly seven.
Oh goodness, is it that late?
My hot times die.
Oh, let me see.
Oh sure honey.
[laugh]
Charles.
[music]
That must be old.
That's because you're
from Philadelphia.
[laugh]
Brown, would you
mind telling me why
you wear your
wristwatch on your ankle?
Why.
So, I won't get it wet
when I wash my hands.
What does she say?
So it won't get wet when
she washes her hands.
Keith, don't stand there. Doddling,
go and see about the drinks.
[laugh]
Miss Brown, Keith
tells me your father
is in the oil
business. Is that so?
Oh yes ma'am.
Retail.
Retail?
Yeah he owned his own pump.
Oh, how nice. I always
say that once the well
is actually drilled,
that's half the battle.
Where is it?
On the corner of Tents and Boyle.
[laugh]
You know, that's a very
charming dress you have on.
it really looks much
better with a good suntan.
Where do you usually go in summer?
Up on the roof.
I don't actress up there
I take my thumb math.
Tell me.
Tell me, aren't you
afraid of aeroplanes?
Not unless they're Russian.
[laugh]
I wonder what could have
happened to the drinks.
I'm so glad we're having drinks,
because from what she said,
I thought we were all going
to end up with spinach juice.
I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
Well, she said you were
so conservative and all that.
But I knew you being
Keith's mother, you couldn't
possibly be the old stick
she made you out to be.
Barbara did you say?
Yes, she said that you call the
tune in this family and everybody
else did the dancing. But I just
says to her, well, I don't dance.
Mrs.Warren, I really must
go. I have a splitting headache.
Oh, you sit right down here. I'm
very good at fixing headaches.
Now, you sit back there and
relax. I used to have a brother.
[laugh]
Does that feel better?
-No, indeed it does not.
-Pardon I.
Mrs. Warren, I really must go.
Of course. Here. Ask
Keith. He'll drive you home.
Goodbye honey.
Oh, she just like a little flower.
Well, I think I'd
like a cigarette now.
Let me see. Have you
got a match, Mother?
-Oh, allow me.
-Oh, thank you, kindly.
Hm
hm.
[laugh]
Tell me, Ms. Brown, where did my
son ever happened to run into you?
I was demonstrating
a new scent that day.
Perfume you know.
It was called kissing a dark.
And he gets one whiff of it.
And he says, what's
that? And I says, It's just
a kiss in the dark. And
he took it from there.
Excuse me.
I find I have a headache, too.
Goodness. Must be an epidemic.
-Are you all right?
-No, I'm not all right.
I.
Nor am I.
[laugh]
Ms. Warren, please wait a minute.
Please don't go.
I was only fooling.
Fooling?
Well, yes. You
see, Ms. Parlow said
that but she said
you were all expecting
me to be a cheap girl and I wouldn't
stand a chance of getting Keith.
Well, naturally, this made
me mad and so I just put
on this little act to prove
her wrong, that's all.
But you haven't
proved her wrong.
You're a cheap, conniving
woman and I wouldn't let
Keith marry you if you
were the last girl on earth.
But Mrs. Warren keith's
a grown boy now. I really
don't see why you have
very much to say about it.
I have this much
to say about it.
If he proceeds with the
ceremony without my
permission, I'll cut
him off without a cent.
But we don't want your money.
Oh, Keith's doing very
well now, and so am I.
How long do you think
Keith would last with
the money he's making
with that brokerage firm?
He's always been used to luxury
and he can't get along without it.
If it came to a choice
between the two things.
You'd very soon see
where his heart is.
I think you're wrong.
Are you willing to
take a chance on it?
Yes, yes I am.
Then leave this
house immediately.
Pack up your things
and get out now.
I'll have the chauffeur
driving to the station.
[train sound]
Pardon me lady. But
is this seat occupied.
What on earth have
you done to yourself?
I'm aiming to get married,
and I got shamed up for my doll.
[laugh]
You comb your hair back
the way it belongs this instant.
Not until you introduced
me to your family.
Oh, darling, I'm
sorry for what I did.
The marriage is for keeps,
and I just had to be sure.
Well, honey, you are sure now?
Yes. Oh, dear.
[music]
He says.
Well Loretta so far was so good.
But now my conscience
is beginning to bother
me and I want to
be sensible about it.
After all, she is Keith's mother.
He says not to
worry about it, but
somehow or other,
I just can't help it.
Am I crazy?
Oh, no, Carol.
No you're not crazy.
And incidentally neither am I.
I know I said the
and the evening.
That I was going to answer
your letter in played form.
But honestly, we became
so fascinated with your
story that well, now I'm
going to do it this way.
You're right.
She is your husband's mother.
And I think she has a right to know
you as keith does as you really are.
Nice girl.
You know.
There's one place that
you can go for advice.
And always find the right.
It was written so long ago.
And yet no human
question is new to it.
I've this passage listen Carol.
House and wealth are an inheritance
from fathers, but a sensible
wife is a gift from the Lord.
From the Book of Prophets.
Well, I learned one thing tonight.
Anticipation is not always
greater than realization.
I've had a wonderful time,
and I hope you have, too.
Good night. See you next week.
Visit Loretta Young again next
week. Same time, same station.
[music]
Letter to Loretta.
Starring Loretta Young.
[music]
[clapping]
Hello.
You have no idea how really
delighted I am to be this night.
And if I seem excited and
little flustered while I am.
Because I've waited a long time for
this date and now we're keeping it.
I've been looking for a
special way to entertain you.
A way in which you
two could participate,
but without doing too much work.
Then one morning, as I was reading
my mail from you, the dawn broke.
I got an idea.
A very simple, and
I think good idea.
Why not add to this
mail in played form.
With the main character you.
That's exactly what
we're going to do.
So don't be surprised if you
find yourself saying tonight.
Hey, look, that's me.
Now, the letter that I'm
going to answer tonight
came to me from a young
lady in New York City.
And her name well,
we'll call her Carol Brown.
Dear Loretta, she said,
I suppose you get hundreds
of letters asking for advice.
Although you don't look like
a Beatrice Fair, thanks to me.
But here I go anyway.
I work in a department store
here at the perfume counter.
A few months ago, a
young man came into the
store and started
sniffing the perfume bottle
[music]
Might be suitable for a young lady.
Oh.
A blonde or brunette.
Kind of medium.
Oh.
Would you try to please?
It's called angel face.
[music]
[laugh]
A few days later, as I
was going over the stock.
I'd like to buy some perfume.
Oh.
Certainly, sir, what would you like?
What have you got?
Well, here's something nice.
It's called Balinese Dream.
[music]
[laugh]
I like it.
It'll be $27.45 please.
[laugh]
[music]
After that, he started
coming in every
two or three days
buying perfume.
We'd really gotten to know
each other quite well by then.
And then one day.
We got a wonderful
new shipment in today.
Yeah.
It's called orange blood.
Yeah.
[music]
[laugh]
Will you marry me?
[laugh]
[music]
Huh.
Some magic egg, girls?
Well I said yes of course.
And the following
savvy promised to go
down to Philadelphia
to meet his parents.
[music]
Go on here.
Yes, sir.
[door closing]
He thinks we're on a honeymoon.
-Why should he think that?
-I gave him a dollar.
Oh, generous man
for a 55 minutes ride.
You nervous?
Yes, a little.
Don't be. My family's not
going to eat you, you know.
I know, but well,
I know so little
about them, Keith.
What are they like?
Well, I can sum it up in a word.
-Shoot.
-Awful.
Nice.
Not awful nice, just awful.
[laugh]
Alright with the rest of the family?
Real snob.
-You're kidding.
-No, I wish I were.
Unless your name's in Who's
Who. They put you under who.
-Oh but...
-[laugh]
You think it's terrible?
How do you think I feel?
What are they going
to say? And they
find out I work in a
department store?
Honey, they'll probably want
to open the charge account.
Oh.
What's your mother like?
Oh, she's all right.
She still treats me as if I
were a small boy in short pants.
Oh, well, all mothers are like that.
She had her way
about it. I'd be marrying
the girl I went to
dancing school with.
-And who was that?
- Barbara. Barbara Parlow.
Is she nice?
Dear, the girl you go to
dancing school with is never nice.
[music]
I wish you had told
me all about this before.
Well, I wanted to be
sure you were hooked first.
But that isn't fair.
You want to back out?
We can still get off the train.
Oh, no but...
I suggested we get married first and
then go down to meet them, remember?
Yes, but that's not
the way to do it. I
should meet them first
and then get married.
That's exactly what we're doing.
Yeah.
-Darling.
-What?
I think I could use that kiss now.
[laugh]
[music]
Hello, Jenny.
Come on in, darling.
[putting luggage down]
You know, Jenny. It's unbelievable.
You get more beautiful every day.
I hope you wipe your feet
good. You know your mother.
Yes. Jenny.
Jenny, this is Ms. Brown.
How do you do, Jenny?
[laugh]
We were all wondering
what you'd look like.
We didn't know what time you
were coming or we just sent the car.
I got held up at the office.
-Where's Mother?
-Upstairs.
We're having dinner
promptly at seven.
Jenny. I'll show you
into the living room,
darling. I'll tell
Mother you're here.
-Alright.
-This way, miss.
[laugh]
[door opening]
Oh.
Oh.
Make yourself at home, miss.
Thank you.
-That Mrs. Warren's chair.
-Oh.
[laugh]
[music]
[laugh]
[telephone ringing]
This is Juan President.
Oh, it's you, Miss Barbara.
Yes, she's here.
Well, she's medium height
and I'll tell you, Miss Barbara,
she seems all right, but she
may be just putting that on.
I read about a girl the
other day who looked
alright, but in her spare
time she was robbing banks.
[laugh]
You never can tell nowaday.
No.
Alright, Miss Barbara. I'll
tell Mrs. Warren. Goodbye.
[music]
Really, Keith, it's so
inconsiderate of you
bringing this strange girl
here at the last minute.
Mother, why do you keep
calling her this strange girl?
This is the girl I'm going to marry.
I know, I know, my dear boy.
But she's strange to world.
Well, that's why I
want you to meet her.
From the way you go on, you think
she had three heads or something.
Oh, Keith, you mustn't be so
sensitive. After
all, I'm getting ready
to meet her. And we've arranged
this dinner especially for you.
It doesn't sound like a
very warm welcome to me.
Dad would have loved her.
Your father was just as
wayward and impulsive as you are.
He married you didn't he.
That was in one of his
more serious moments.
Now go down and show
the young lady to her room.
You may be sure I'll
show her every courtesy.
Mother sends her apologies,
darling, but you see, she's already
dressing for dinner. We always
eat dinner promptly at seven.
Do you always dress for dinner?
Not usually, but this is
sort of a special occasion.
All my aunts and uncles
insisted on being invited.
Oh, Keith, I hope I
brought the right clothes.
Don't worry, darling.
You look good in anything.
When a man says that, he's
usually not looking at the dress.
Come on.
[music]
Oh, I beg your pardon.
That's quite alright.
Are you Carol?
Yeah.
I'm Barbara Parlow.
Oh.
How do you do?
I had no idea
they'd put you in here.
I'm throwing the habit
of writing in here at the
last moment to see that
my makeup's on straight.
Oh, I see.
Tell me, I hear that
you work in a shop.
Is that true?
-Yeah. [laugh]
-Oh.
What kind of a shop?
Well, it's a department,
store. Would you mind?
I handle the perfume counter.
Well, that's not too bad.
I've never known anyone
who worked in a shop before.
That antique.
Well, we can't all be antique.
Well.
[laugh]
You're very brave to
come here, Miss Brown.
Brave?
Why?
Well, the Warrens are
very conservative, you know.
Miss Parlow, why
did you come in here?
I told you.
Oh come on let's be honest.
You came in her on purpose.
You see, I overheard you
talking to the maid on the phone
about me. And undoubtedly,
when you arrived for dinner tonight.
You asked exactly
where they put me.
that's right.
Frankly, I was just curious
to see what you'd be like.
Well, now that you've
seen, what do you think?
No, never mind. I
think I'd rather not hear.
[laugh]
I wonder if you know exactly
what you're getting into.
I know Keith that
that's what you mean.
No.
That is not what I mean.
You see, Mrs. Warren is
the head of our community.
And frankly, I just wonder if
you're going to be happy here.
Oh, we're not going to live here.
Oh.
-You are not?
-Oh no.
no Keith has his
job in new York and I.
Made you think we're
going to live here?
The Warrens always has.
Well, this one Warren is
going to be an exception.
Tell me.
Does his mother know?
But I really don't know.
And sense of Keith
I'm marrying, I don't
see how it makes
very much difference.
You have more courage
than I have to marry Keith.
Oh, don't be hard on yourself.
Maybe you've never
had the chance to
test your courage
in that particular way.
That's not true.
Keith proposed to me when
I was still in high school.
I wouldn't have had him if he'd been
handed to me on a silver platter.
Well, what about the platter?
I happen to know.
That Mrs. Warren has
already made up
her mind about you.
But that isn't fair. She
hasn't even seen me yet.
Nevertheless.
It's true.
If you happen to look like the
average shock girl, keith wouldn't
have had the courage to even
bring you here in the first place.
But I am the average shop girl.
Oh, you know what I mean.
The guns you encounter.
[laugh]
You know, Miss. Parlow.
You seem to have
gotten your conception
of a shop girl out
of the funny papers.
You know, most of the shopgirls
I know are just as nice as you are.
I resent that.
What? So would they, probably.
Look here, you
seem to think that if I
were the average
shop girl or that is
your idea of the
average shop girl the
Keith wouldn't marry
me because his family
wouldn't approve.
Well, I've got news
for you. I could walk
into that room on
my hands and Keith
would still marry
me whether his
family approved or not.
That's easy enough to say
it's easier to do.
They're expecting Bertha for the
bargain basement. That's exactly
what they're going to get. Just
to prove you how wrong you are.
You wouldn't there.
Oh, you bet I would.
And if you let one
peep out of you, I'll
wrap this hairbrush
around your noggin.
[laugh]
[music]
Charles, please sit down.
You're all going
to like her. I know.
She's the sweetest, simplest,
most charming girl I've ever met.
[door opening]
Well, hi everybody.
Oh.
[laugh]
Sorry I'm late
But I had some
trouble with my girdle.
[laugh]
Carol.
No, don't tell me. I want to guess.
I'll let me see.
This is mother.
Hello Mother.
You know you look
just like your pictures.
At least I haven't seen
any of that pictures
At least I haven't seen
any of your pictures.
But if I had, I'm sure
you'd look just like them.
And this is Aunt Eleanor.
-How do you do ma'am?
-How do you do?
And this is Uncle Charles.
Welcome my dear,
to a very dull family.
That's Uncle Ben.
No use talking to him,
he can't hear a word.
Oh lucky man
And this is Mrs. Ben.
How do you do, ma'am?
I believe you've met Miss Parlow.
Oh, have I met Ms.
Parlow? I'll say I have.
We have a little secret, haven't we?
Don't you tell now.
Charles.
I know.
You're going to ask
me what I want to drink.
Can you make a
Coney Island whizbang?
Whiz-bang?
Yeah. One part skin, two part
serving and three parts crazy.
[laugh]
You'll have fun fight.
Oh, I love champagne don't you?
You bet.
Mother.
Keith go along the punch.
It's nearly seven.
Oh goodness, is it that late?
My hot times die.
Oh, let me see.
Oh sure honey.
[laugh]
Charles.
[music]
That must be old.
That's because you're
from Philadelphia.
[laugh]
Brown, would you
mind telling me why
you wear your
wristwatch on your ankle?
Why.
So, I won't get it wet
when I wash my hands.
What does she say?
So it won't get wet when
she washes her hands.
Keith, don't stand there. Doddling,
go and see about the drinks.
[laugh]
Miss Brown, Keith
tells me your father
is in the oil
business. Is that so?
Oh yes ma'am.
Retail.
Retail?
Yeah he owned his own pump.
Oh, how nice. I always
say that once the well
is actually drilled,
that's half the battle.
Where is it?
On the corner of Tents and Boyle.
[laugh]
You know, that's a very
charming dress you have on.
it really looks much
better with a good suntan.
Where do you usually go in summer?
Up on the roof.
I don't actress up there
I take my thumb math.
Tell me.
Tell me, aren't you
afraid of aeroplanes?
Not unless they're Russian.
[laugh]
I wonder what could have
happened to the drinks.
I'm so glad we're having drinks,
because from what she said,
I thought we were all going
to end up with spinach juice.
I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
Well, she said you were
so conservative and all that.
But I knew you being
Keith's mother, you couldn't
possibly be the old stick
she made you out to be.
Barbara did you say?
Yes, she said that you call the
tune in this family and everybody
else did the dancing. But I just
says to her, well, I don't dance.
Mrs.Warren, I really must
go. I have a splitting headache.
Oh, you sit right down here. I'm
very good at fixing headaches.
Now, you sit back there and
relax. I used to have a brother.
[laugh]
Does that feel better?
-No, indeed it does not.
-Pardon I.
Mrs. Warren, I really must go.
Of course. Here. Ask
Keith. He'll drive you home.
Goodbye honey.
Oh, she just like a little flower.
Well, I think I'd
like a cigarette now.
Let me see. Have you
got a match, Mother?
-Oh, allow me.
-Oh, thank you, kindly.
Hm
hm.
[laugh]
Tell me, Ms. Brown, where did my
son ever happened to run into you?
I was demonstrating
a new scent that day.
Perfume you know.
It was called kissing a dark.
And he gets one whiff of it.
And he says, what's
that? And I says, It's just
a kiss in the dark. And
he took it from there.
Excuse me.
I find I have a headache, too.
Goodness. Must be an epidemic.
-Are you all right?
-No, I'm not all right.
I.
Nor am I.
[laugh]
Ms. Warren, please wait a minute.
Please don't go.
I was only fooling.
Fooling?
Well, yes. You
see, Ms. Parlow said
that but she said
you were all expecting
me to be a cheap girl and I wouldn't
stand a chance of getting Keith.
Well, naturally, this made
me mad and so I just put
on this little act to prove
her wrong, that's all.
But you haven't
proved her wrong.
You're a cheap, conniving
woman and I wouldn't let
Keith marry you if you
were the last girl on earth.
But Mrs. Warren keith's
a grown boy now. I really
don't see why you have
very much to say about it.
I have this much
to say about it.
If he proceeds with the
ceremony without my
permission, I'll cut
him off without a cent.
But we don't want your money.
Oh, Keith's doing very
well now, and so am I.
How long do you think
Keith would last with
the money he's making
with that brokerage firm?
He's always been used to luxury
and he can't get along without it.
If it came to a choice
between the two things.
You'd very soon see
where his heart is.
I think you're wrong.
Are you willing to
take a chance on it?
Yes, yes I am.
Then leave this
house immediately.
Pack up your things
and get out now.
I'll have the chauffeur
driving to the station.
[train sound]
Pardon me lady. But
is this seat occupied.
What on earth have
you done to yourself?
I'm aiming to get married,
and I got shamed up for my doll.
[laugh]
You comb your hair back
the way it belongs this instant.
Not until you introduced
me to your family.
Oh, darling, I'm
sorry for what I did.
The marriage is for keeps,
and I just had to be sure.
Well, honey, you are sure now?
Yes. Oh, dear.
[music]
He says.
Well Loretta so far was so good.
But now my conscience
is beginning to bother
me and I want to
be sensible about it.
After all, she is Keith's mother.
He says not to
worry about it, but
somehow or other,
I just can't help it.
Am I crazy?
Oh, no, Carol.
No you're not crazy.
And incidentally neither am I.
I know I said the
and the evening.
That I was going to answer
your letter in played form.
But honestly, we became
so fascinated with your
story that well, now I'm
going to do it this way.
You're right.
She is your husband's mother.
And I think she has a right to know
you as keith does as you really are.
Nice girl.
You know.
There's one place that
you can go for advice.
And always find the right.
It was written so long ago.
And yet no human
question is new to it.
I've this passage listen Carol.
House and wealth are an inheritance
from fathers, but a sensible
wife is a gift from the Lord.
From the Book of Prophets.
Well, I learned one thing tonight.
Anticipation is not always
greater than realization.
I've had a wonderful time,
and I hope you have, too.
Good night. See you next week.
Visit Loretta Young again next
week. Same time, same station.