The Lone Gunmen (2001–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

[ Chattering ]

[ Woman ]
Um, ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

On behalf of our 1 4,000 employees...

I am pleased to say welcome
to E-Com-Con...

the most technologically advanced,
yet socially conscious company...

- on the Fortune 500.
- [ Man ] Yeah, right.

I-In this state-of-the-art
research and development center...

we're taking the next step
in computer processor evolution...

and we're creating a new age
of innovation and customer service.

How 'bout a new age of invading
your customers'privacy?



[ Nervous Chuckling ] Uh, sir,
are you sure you're on the right tour?

Yeah, why don't you tell us about
that Octium IV chip you're developing?

Well, the, um, Octium IV...

is our latest high-speed processor.

It's capable of 6.8 gigaflops.

That's nearly seven billion
calculations per second.

I mean, tell us the truth.

How the Octium is secretly designed
to keep tabs on the users.

- [ Beeps ]
- Patriot 1 to Patriot 2, we're in position.

It's got a tiny little modem
embedded in each processor, see?

So that it can upload your files
onto the Internet...

and your credit history and your tax bracket
and your Social Security number.

All neatly packaged
for these robber barons.

- Sir, I don't know if this is the proper forum--
- And another thing!



[ Frohike On Earpiece ]
Patriot 2.

Patriot 2, we're in position.
Shut up already.

Uh... is there peanuts in this?

[ Gasping, Chattering ]

Oh, yeah.

Who's your daddy?

We got a man having a severe
allergic reaction here. Over.

- (music) [ Man Singing Rock ]
- Come on, Byers.

- Um... Frohike?
- (music) [ Continues ]

- Hang on tight.
- What?

Whoa! Byers!

I don't have winch control.
Our software's been hijacked.

[ Groaning ]

Take it easy. Help's on the way.

What the hell is this?

Whoa!

[ Alarm Blaring ]

- [ Grunts ]
- (music) [ Continues ]

You!

Byers. Byers!

Hey.
[ Grunts ]

[ Langly ] You're making a big mistake.
That was a hearing aid.

Huh? What'd you say?

Where's the chip?

Full body cavity search.

[ Frohike ]
Honest to God, we don't have it.

(music) [ Ends ]

What we won't do
for the Constitution.

Yeah, like having a roll of tape
shoved up our kazoos.

At least it feels like that.
[ Clears Throat ]

We're not gonna let
this injustice stand.

We've gotta stop these corporate goons
from doing to the American people...

wh-- what they did to us last night.

- Yeah, right.
- What's the matter, Byers?

We don't have the proof. Without proof,
we're nothing more than conspiracy mongers.

Without proof,
all we can do is cry wolf.

Don't take it personally, man.
They strip-searched all of us.

Eleven years we've been putting out
this paper. Think about it.

Have we made a difference? Is America
a better place to live because of our efforts?

This story would have garnered
national attention.

It would have forced E-Com-Con to halt
the production of the Octium chip.

It would have protected the civil liberties
of millions of Americans.

But without proof?

We could still speculate.
We'll call it editorial commentary.

For whom?

Last week's issue
had a circulation of 2,82 4.

We're preaching to the converted.

Readership doesn't matter, man.
It's the impact on the black ops that counts.

They read it too.
The guys at the N.S.A. and the C.I.A.?

They tremble every time
we put out one of these babies.

Do you think the people
at E-Com-Con are trembling?

- They will if we get that chip back.
- Like that's gonna happen.

E-Com-Con's already got theJustice Department
searching for the dude that snaked it from us.

Only they're looking for a ''he.''

Are you sure that man with the beard
was Yves Adele Harlow?

Trust me. No guy kisses like that.

- I mean, uh--
- [ Buzzing ]

I hear Harlow's a black hat,
a real heavy lifter.

Industrial espionage, strictly for profit.

Then she's probably already sold
the chip to the highest bidder--

the Malaysians or theJapanese.

- [ Buzzing ]
- That sucks! We stole it!
What the hell are you doing?

Our operation was piggy-backed.

There's only one way Harlow
could know our plans.

You believe she breached our security.

[ Instrument Squawks ]

Testing: one, two, three. You bitch!

That's twice today I've been violated!
That's it, man!

- Total war! Salt the earth!
- [ Phone Rings ]

- Total war! Salt the earth!
- [ Phone Rings ]

Lone Gunman Newspaper Group.
Byers speaking.

Yes, I'm his son.

[ Man ]
Bertram R. Byers.

The ''R'' stood for Roosevelt...

which is a name fit for a true believer,
if ever I heard one.

A true believer.

That was Bert in the 30-odd years...

that I was lucky enough
to call him a friend.

He never lost his faith in government...

and its abiding power to do good,
its muscular Christianity--

There's enough brass here
to make a spittoon.

As a civilian employee
in the air force...

Bertjokingly described himself
as a plodding bureaucrat.

But he never lost his love for aerospace,
his chosen profession...

his true love...

which is why today,
in accordance with his wishes...

we commend his ashes to that
bold frontier that he loved so well.

Godspeed, Bert.

Would you do the honors?

[ Sighs ]

Five, four...

three, two...

one.

Ignition.

So you never met him?

Byers and his old man
hadn't spoken since 1 989.

The year we started publishing?

The year Byers threw away a government
pension to hang out with low-life hippie scum.

At least,
that's what his old man thought.

- Frohike, 1 2:00.
- 1 2:00 what?

One spying, chip-stealing
little cross-dresser.

- Ow!
- Oh!

What are you doing?

You got... soup.

Next time leave the crack pipe at home.

Next time leave the crack pipe at home.

Hey, buddy. Nice service.

Looks like your old man had
a lot of friends in high places.

Maybe we can plant bugs
on a couple of'em.

Or... maybe now is not the time.

I'm about ready to get out of here.

John. We met once years ago.

- I'm Ray Helm. I worked with your father.
- Oh, Mr. Helm.

Your eulogy was very nice.
Thank you.

I meant every word of it. I was hoping
you and I could talk about him.

I realize you hadn't
seen each other in some time.

I'm just not sure
what there is to talk about.

We could talk about how he died.

According to the police,
his car ran off the road.

Like I said,
we could talk about that.

[ Helm ]
It happened here.

The police ruled it a single-car accident.

There were no witnesses to it,
but based on the lack of skid marks...

their explanation was your father
fell asleep at the wheel...

and ran off the road.

But you don't believe that.

You're not saying...
my father killed himself?.

I'm saying he was murdered.

[ Helm ] I don't know where Bert was headed.
I don't know that it mattered.

Just so he was driving
a lonely stretch of road...

a perfect place for an ambush.

[ Tires Screech ]

- What proof do you have of this?
- Absolutely none.

Which is exactly the way
these people would manage it.

The people your father and I work for.

The government?

But why? Why my father?

He was a company man.

He was a good man.
He had a conscience.

- Sometimes that's a problem in our line of work.
- Meaning what?

Last time I spoke to him, he was upset
about something he'd found out.

- He wouldn't tell me what.
-[ Frohike ] Hold up.

Somethin'-- Somethin's funky here.

- You're telling us the government is behind this?
- You're the government.

If you're anything like your father,
I knew you'd want to know.

[ Frohike ] Hey, buddy,
are you sure you want to do this?

[ Langly ] That government guy said there
wouldn't be any proof your dad was murdered.

If he was murdered...

there'd have to be a reason for it.

Mr. Helm said maybe
he knew something.

I want to see what's on his P.C.

Whoa! Son of a--

This carpet's wet.
Like it's been cleaned.

Check it out.

Well, the good news is there's no
annoying passwords to crack.

- What's the bad news?
- There's no nothing else either.

Only an operating system.

Someone cleaned house, erased everything
and defragged this puppy.

Try a sector editor.

See if you can find
any recently deleted files.

- [ Beeping ]
- B-I-N-G-O.

Delete commands up the wazoo.

- Wait. What about this one?
- Looks like a D.O.D. file.

Scenario 1 2D.

Text file.

[ Spraying ]

What the--

Hey, Byers, Langly! Come look at this!

Take a look at this.

That's blood, and a lot of it.

[ Langly ] I thought your old man
died in a car crash.

My father was dead
long before the crash.

He was murdered here.

[ Motor Humming ]

Byers, Bertram. Blue '92 Caprice.

- Yeah, we got it.
- I don't get it.

You're saying somebody popped
your father in his living room...

then loaded him into his car
and faked a car crash two miles away.

That's a hell of a trick.
A dead man driving a car.

[ Byers ]
They managed it somehow.

There's gotta be evidence in the car
that the fire didn't destroy.

You're Bertram Byers?

Uh, yeah.

Date of birth January 30, 1 934?

Viagra.

It's over yonder.

That yonder?

- Hey, stop!
- Hold up!

- Hey, wait! Shut it down!
- Stop!

- Shut it down!
- Hang on!

- Shut it down!
- Shut it down!

Shut it down!

- Come on! Shut it down!
- Stop! Stop!

Hey! This yonder.

This was your Caprice.

Hope you didn't leave nothin'
in the glove box.

Nice shootin'.
Have you seen Kimmy?

You want some?
Try my smorgasbord.

- [ Gunshots ]
- [ Shouting ]

Hey! Never touch a man
with a gun in his hand.

Shooting Vikings now?
That's not very sporting.

What do you want, Langly?
I'm locked and loaded here.

I need some help circumventing
D.O.D.'s online security codes.

D.O.D.? What for?

Go put your daisy
in somebody else's rifle, hippie.

I gotta put some serious lead
downrange.

I'm talking about
government-sanctioned murder here.

Is this another one of your wacko
conspiracy theories, like who shotJ.R.?

-J.F.K.
- Whatever.

My point being,
you're wasting your life, man.

A hacker of your caliber oughta be
floating in a Silicon Valley hot tub...

sipping champers
and counting his I.P.O. cashola.

[ Rapid Gunfire ]

[ Gunfire Continues ]

[ Langly ]
Ay, Chihuahua. Who's that?

Fellow hacker.
Her name's Yves Harlow.

I liked you better with a beard.

Where's our chip?

Chip? What chip?

That Octium IV's rightfully ours.
Give it the hell back.

You got an Octium IV?

And what did you Three Stooges
plan to do with the chip?

Give it to 60 Minutes?

''Expose the truth''
in your silly little rag?

The American people
have a right to know.

If you pimply pencil necks are the only hope
for the American people, God help us all.

Come on, Langly.
Let's go do some real hacking.

[ Shell Casings Clattering On Ground ]

Find anything?

Yeah, a new meaning
for the term ''compact car.''

Boy, talk about a needle in a haystack.

If there is any evidence
in this hunk of junk...

we're gonna
be hard-pressed to find it.

- We'll find it.
- [ Chuckles ] And then what?

Then you'll be happy?

I'm not sure
I understand the question.

What's the best thing that could come out of
this investigation, as far as you're concerned?

You find out that your father was gonna
blow the whistle on the government.

You find out they killed him for it.

- What's your point?
- Come on, Byers.

We both know you and your father
didn't see eye to eye.

You're hoping you'll find out
he was someone you could respect.

But what if he wasn't?

My father used to talk aboutJ.F.K.
when I was a kid.

Camelot...

a government as good as its people...

an American dream.

I don't know when or why
he stopped believing in it...

but those stories
made me who I am.

They made me believe
in the promise of our country.

Truth,justice, the American way.

Someone has to expose those
that would destroy that dream.

Someone has to write the stories
they don't want you to read.

That's why I teamed up with you guys--
you're true believers.

And I thought it was
for the chick throw-off.

Look, all I'm saying is...

I don't want you setting yourself up
for disappointment.

I'm saying...

make peace with your father
in another way.

What is it?

Needle in a haystack.

[ Typing On Keyboard ]

We're in. Piece of cake.

My old granny could hack this site.
Okay, where to next?

Okay, Products and Logistics.
No, no, no! Wait, wait.

Program Analysis and Evaluation.

We're looking for any reference
to something called Scenario 1 2D.

-[ Byers ] We got it!
- The proverbial smoking gun.

Hey, Kimmy. Slumming?

He's helping me hack
into the D.O.D. mainframe.

I only said yes to keep Blondie
from getting his 'nads clipped.

We ran into Yves Adele Harlow
at the shooting range.

I didn't want to cause a scene--
your old man and all.

So what do you got?

We found this in the engine compartment
of my father's car.

You'll notice that none of the circuits
have factory identifier numbers.

This copper zigzag looks
like an integrated antenna.

Etched into the breadboard
like a cell phone. We're thinking--

If this received radio signals and was clipped
at the car engine's control module--

[ Byers ] The speed of the car
could be remotely controlled.

All you'd need is a handheld
radio controller to operate the car.

- And make it look like a dead man was driving.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes! I am the king!

Yes! I am the king!

- N?mero uno, baby! Mm-hmm!
- Find something?

Yeah, I wound up in some government
think tank's upload directory.

Here's your scenarios, ladies.

[ Byers ] These look like
counterterrorism scenarios, war games...

developed for the Defense Department.

What's Scenario 1 2D?

Airline terrorism?
That doesn't make sense.

- Your father was murdered over a war game?
- Download it.

- [ Beeping ]
- [ Kimmy ] Uh-oh.

- Ix-nay on the ownload-day.
- What is it?

Bogey. We've been spotted.

[ Man ]
Sir, we've got an intruder. I'm tracing.

They're running some real-time intrusion
detection. Somebody knows we're in.

- We should ditch.
- Keep downloading.

These guys are murderers.
Give it some thought, man.

I've isolated their bit stream--
D.S.L., D.C. Metro trunk.

- Compromise their cookie!
- Stay with it.

-[ Kimmy ] They're scanning our services!
- We're almost there. Keep going.

Come on board.
Scanning for vitals.

- I'm bailing! They're scanning our file system!
- We need that file.

Here we go. Address data file.

Oh, my God. They found the data file.
They're gonna get our address!

- They'll be busting through our door!
- Keep downloading.

- Frohike, we almost had it.
- We almost had our asses fried.

- My father died for that file.
- Exactly.

Use your head.

- [ Beeping ]
- Lost 'em.

Sorry, sir.

I know who they are.

What do you say we call it a night, Byers?

Ah, it's too late for that.
The sun just came up.

Come on, Byers.

I'll buy you a Grand Slam.

- It just doesn't make sense.
- What doesn't make sense?

The blood in my father's house.

Buddy, we've been through this.

- They shot him.
- But why?

Why go to the trouble
of faking a car accident...

so perfectly, so convincingly...

when you're starting with a body
that's got a bullet hole in it?

Maybe your dad put up a fight.

Maybe it wasn't his blood.

You found something.

Proof.

Of what?

- My father wasn't murdered.
- But not for lack of trying.

I don't understand.
Are you saying it was an accident?

We're saying he's not dead.

It starts with a bloodstain
we found in my father's house.

- We've had it tested. The blood wasn't his.
- Whose was it?

His would-be assassin, a professional sent
to make his death look like an accident.

[ Byers ] The carpet in the living room
had been freshly shampooed.

We assumed it was to get rid
of the blood evidence.

[ Langly ]
It was, the second time.

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Gunshot ]

He shot himself?

- Some professional.
- Hey, government contractor.

[ Byers ] In the aftermath,
Dad realized he was in danger.

I imagine his first impulse
was to run.

But then he started
to piece together the larger plan.

[ Beeps ]

- [ Beeps ]
- [ Engine Starts ]

[ Byers ] He found the remote control
that the assassin had attached to his car.

Someone was going to great lengths...

to fake his death in a car accident...

to murder him
without arousing suspicion.

So he came up with his own plan.

Dad knew whoever would go to such lengths
would only stop ifhe were dead...

so he made it look like he was.

[ Helm ] But what reason
did they have to kill your father?

What were they trying to hide?

Something called Scenario 1 2D.

We have to find Bert.
He can tell us everything we need to know.

We don't know where he is.
We gotta find out what Scenario 1 2D is.

That's why we need your help,
as a government muckety-muck.

We need your password
to get past online security.

What is it?

Overlord.

- Cool.
- Whatever I can do to help.

Good.

I'll catch up with you later.

Why is he so bummed?
His dad's alive.

Yeah, but he may never see him again.

John.

Dad.

[ Gasps ]

What the hell are you doing? Why can't you
stay out of this? Leave me buried.

What is Scenario 1 2D?

We know it's a war-game scenario...

that it has to do with
airline counterterrorism.

Why is it important enough to kill for?

Because it's no longer a game.

But if some terrorist group
wants to act out this scenario...

why target you for assassination?

Depends on who your terrorists are.

The men who conceived of it
in the first place.

You're saying our government plans to commit
a terrorist act against a domestic airline--

There you go, indicting
the entire government as usual.

- It's a faction, a small faction.
- For what possible gain?

The cold war's over,John...

but with no clear enemy to stockpile against,
the arms market's flat.

But bring down a fully loaded 727
into the middle of New York City...

and you'll find a dozen tin-pot dictators
all over the world...

just clamoring to take responsibility...

and begging to be smart-bombed.

I can't believe it.
This is about increasing arms sales.

- Mm-hmm.
- [ Sighs ] When?

- Tonight.
- How are you gonna stop them?

Why didn't you tell the world this?
Go to the press.

You think I'd still be drawing breath
30 minutes after I made that call?

- The press? Who's gonna run this story?
- We would.

This?

This is bird cage liner.

Wild-eyed crap, right up there with
''Elvis is an alien''and two-headed babies.

- You obviously read it.
- Don't be so damn naive.

You think this is gonna save the world?

[ Sighs ]
I'm doing what I can,John.

I don't have all the specifics on Scenario 1 2D,
but I think I know the flight they've chosen.

You stay out of it.

I don't want Overlord
gunning for you too.

[ Muttering ]

[ Door Opens ]

Feeling better?

We're on the job here.
I think we're making some real headway.

Hey, buddy. Are you okay?

I just saw my father.

- Where?
- At his house.

- He's there now.
- What did he say?

After he hit me? He told me to stay away
from him, not to get involved.

- I gotta get over there.
- Mr. Helm.

Be careful.
He doesn't trust you either.

He thinks you were somehow involved
in the attempt on his life.

- [ Door Opens, Closes ]
- What the hell are you doing?

What if Helm is involved?
What if he's using us to get to your father?

- You might have ratted out on your dad.
- That was their plan.

Put the son in danger,
and you flush the father out of hiding.

We had a couple of portable
hydrocarbon sniffers. Where are they?

What? Byers!

- [ Knocking On Door ]
- Somebody get that.

Let him in before somebody sees him.

Hiya.

Congrats on not being dead.

Oh, the day is young.

Byers, you wanna clue us in?

We got a plane to catch.

[ P.A.: Woman ]
Atlantic National announces...

their final boarding call
for Flight 265.

Do you see anyone you recognize?

No, but that doesn't mean
they're not around.

Okay, let's board, check the cabin
for free hydrocarbons...

try and pinpoint that bomb.

This is your plan? I still think
we should call in a bomb threat.

Let the F.B.I. deal with this.

You said yourself we don't know
the full extent of this conspiracy.

We can't trust any government official.

Our only hope is to get on that plane.

They're boarding.

Then that's two problems solved.

[ Beeping ]

- Find anything?
- The luggage hold's clear,
if this thing can be trusted.

What'd you do,
make it with your erector set?

You're absolutely sure
that this is the targeted flight?

This flight was chosen
primarily for its visibility.

It's scheduled to pass over Manhattan
on its way to Boston.

You said they intend to bring this down
in the middle of New York City?

Shh.

What if there is no bomb?

Well, how are they gonna bring it down?

The same way a dead man
can drive a car.

[ Simultaneously ]
What do you mean, no bomb?

Langly, I need you to hack into
the aircraft's onboard navigation system.

- We need to know where we're headed.
- Okay. Going to headsets.

- [ Beeping ]
- I'll call in the air phone's carrier...

make them think we're sending
a ground-to-air fax.

- That's one twisted star-69.
- Get ready to ride the wave, hippie boy.

- Get me on that plane,
and I'll get you autopilot access.
- How you gonna do that?

Airline telemetry systems use processors
similar to those found in C.B. radios.

I'm in. We got ourselves a convoy.

- What's your progress?
- [ Langly ] I've hacked into
the flight control system output.

With a little bit of help.

It's what the brains of the plane
is telling the little black box.

Course heading, attitude hold,
yaw axis stabilization. Wha--

What the heck's that?

- Is that what it looks like?
- I think it is what it looks like.

- What does what look like?
- [ Langly ] Modem protocol.

Remote access.
Somebody on the ground's flying your plane.

- Bogey, sir.
- Keep your course.

I need to know our flight plan.

I'm mapping the data now.

[ Beeping ]

Byers, your flight's gonna make
an unscheduled stop in exactly 22 minutes.

Corner of Liberty and Washington...

Lower Manhattan.

World Trade Center.

They're going to crash the plane
into the World Trade Center.

I'll tell the flight crew.

- Langly, can you override
the flight control system?
- I'm working on it.

- What is this?
- My name is Bert Byers.
I work for the government.

I believe this plane
has been commandeered.

Sir, passengers are not allowed
in the cockpit. Return to your seat now.

You don't have control of this plane,
and I don't know if we can get it back.

Turn off your autopilot.
There may be a chance we can override it.

Sir, I'll be happy to contact
your superiors in the government--

Sir! Damn it!

He's right.

Damn it! Frozen again.

They've encrypted
the manual override commands.

- Well, decrypt them.
- I don't have enough power.

- [ Langly ] My c.p.u.'s are pegged.
- Langly, what's happening?

- I'll try decrypting in background mode.
- How long will that take?

In my counts per sec...

I estimate seven to 1 0 days.

Oh.

Needless to say--

Our asses are fried.

- Where are you going?
- To unfry us.

Damn it!

[ Rapid Gunfire ]

[ Approaching Footsteps ]

I need that chip, Yves.

Melvin. I knew you'd come begging
sooner or later.

Lay off the ''Melvin'' crap. I need some
serious gigaflops, and I need them now.

What I hear, some guy
with a beard took that chip.

Those were a woman's lips I kissed.

Like you ever kissed a girl before.

I don't have time for this.

You gonna take it away from me?

Give us the chip, Yves, or you'll be sacrificing
the lives of hundreds of people...

including Byers and his father.

- I'm crying.
- Yeah, you're one real tough cookie.

How much are you gonna enjoy spending
the millions you make selling that chip...

when you realize
it's been paid for in blood?

- I guess you don't know me.
- Well, maybe I do, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Your name, Yves Adele Harlow,
is an anagram of Lee Harvey Oswald.

Some joke.

I know who you really are, sugar...

and I can tell the world
in my ''silly little rag.''

All right.
Try cutting electrical power.

They've thought of that.
They've thought of everything.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.

We're experiencing some,
uh, technical difficulties up here.

At this time we'd like you all
to return to your seats.

And kiss your asses good-bye.

- Langly, we're getting close.
- I know. I know.

Damn it!

[ Pilot ] New York Center, this is
Atlantic National Flight 265 heavy.

We are declaring an emergency.

We have 1 1 0 souls on board,
1 6,000 pounds of fuel...

and no dangerous goods
or cargo to report.

[ Angry Grunt ]

Come on, Frohike.

Your friends have failed, haven't they?

There's still hope.

Hope my next turnout
is as nice as my last one.

[ Beeping ]

[ Sighs ]
B-I-N-G-O.

- [ Beeps ]
- We've got manual override.

[ Screaming ]

If we can't get to the F.B.I.,
we'll go public.

With your testimony, we can break
this conspiracy wide open...

bring Overlord down.

The whole operation--

Dad.

What is it?

God, I see myself in you.

The same youthful enthusiasm,
idealism.

I was so angry at you for so long...

because I didn't want you
to waste your life tilting at windmills.

But I-- I see now
that you've got something...

I never had.

You're a brave man,John.

You're not going to testify.
You're going to let them cover this up.

They almost killed me twice.

They won't fail a third time.

My silence will keep me alive...

and you.

I know you and your friends...

are fighting for the American dream.

Just don't expect to win.

We're going with this then?

We can't do it.
We don't have the proof.

Then we don't have a lead story
for this week's issue.

Yeah, we do.

[ Keyboarding ]

Well, we certainly don't
have proof of that.

Your pistol-packing
bearded lady has it, remember?

Yeah?
Well, turnabout's fair play.

- How the hell'd you get that?
- Hey.

Once you've had
a little taste of Frohike--

Okay. I grabbed it. I ran.

Well, we got a story to write.

[ Child ]
I made this!