The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp (1955–1961): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Big Bellyache - full transcript

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♪ Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp ♪

♪ Brave, courageous and bold ♪

♪ Long live his fame and long live his glory ♪

♪ And long may his story be told ♪

The frontier doctor in Kansas Cowtown of 1877

had to handle lot of bad tempered dangerous patients.

Perhaps, the most celebrated case in the early annals

of Dodge City medicine was the time Mr. Shanghai Pierce

millionaire Texas cattle baron, got a severe stomach ache.

Marshal Wyatt Earp, and his old friend.



Doctor Fabrique of Wichita, did not ask to become involved

with Shanghai's medical emergency.

It was forced upon them by a dozen Texas gun fighters

standing by to see that their boss survived. Or else..

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa.

Evils of Satan, whoa.

Whoa, whoa!

By right, I shouldn't give you any water at all!

You're idiots! Both of you! Hey, you tie them up!

You darn horses. You can check the dang dang buggy.

I'm getting out of here.

Hey, who sold you to Doc. Fabrique, huh?

Meanest tempered pill-push in Kansas.

It's a fine welcome I'm getting to Dodge city.



I'm glad to see you, doc. What did they do?

Run you out of Wichita?

Friend, the big-headed boy whom I've stopped from gettin' killed

time and again. Well, goodbye. I'm shovin' off.

Look, I am glad to see you.

Tell me how's Marsh Murdock and all my friends in Wichita?

Marsh is feelin' fair to midland.

You tell me why aren't there any doctors in this town?

Sure, Doc. McCarty. He's a good man too.

You look kinda livers to me, son.

Well, it's not Doc. McCarty's fault.

See, this town is so peaceful I don't get any exercise.

Well then, you came to the right man. I can fix that.

So you've been chased by a bunch of Indians or a small possy?

- No, I'm going on a vacation. - No.

Yes. The first vacation I've had in 12 years.

- And I figured, I earned it. - Well, you sure have.

Welcome to the jail. Nice and peaceful. Come on.

Boy, you get better in Wichita.

And since you know all the best fishing holes

around Dodge city, you're taking a vacation too.

Well, what kind of fish you're looking for?

Catfish. Big-fat bullheads. About so long.

Do you know where there are any that will bite

on a plug or twist?

Doc, you tempt me. But only for a couple of days.

It's all we need, Wyatt.

Say, what did you do with your practice in Wichita?

You didn't pick up and leave them without a doctor, did you?

The shame is I gotten a young assistant out of Jones Hopkins.

It's a pretty good school.

Schools don't signify, Wyatt.

Young doctors have to do a lot of practice.

You know what I told my best personal friends?

No. What?

Don't get too sick while "old docy" is away.

Why let's get the fishing gear ready and hop to it.

Okay.

Hey, you got one. Now take it easy.

- Wait a minute. - That must be a big one!

- Just take it easy. - Be a big one!

Wyatt, grip on it! It's front of the hook.

Don't, look out it'll hurt you.

- No. - Shoot him!

He didn't swallow the hook, he just..

It's the tobacco you're using for bait.

- Shoot him Wyatt, kill it! - It's a big one.

Alright Marshall, but we're gonna have to take your guns.

Oh no you don't, Trask.

Ain't you still working for Shanghai Pierce?

Uh-huh. And he sent us after you, doc.

Why is that?

Mr. Pierce, he don't feel good.

He travelled all the way to Wichita to see doc here.

It's a fine thing you traipsing off like that.

You're supposed to in Wichita attending after sick people.

I'm on vacation. And who are you to be scolding me?

Wait a minute. Calm down. Where's Mr. Pierce?

Waitin' over at Dodge. He's got a misery in his stomach.

- And this old fossil here... - Why you as...

Hold it. Hold it.

Why doesn't Mr. Pierce go see Doc. McCarty? He's a good man.

Well, sure sure. But he left for Kansas city this morning.

Besides, he left word that Doc. Fabrique here

had taken' over his practice.

What?! Why that pill peddler. I never told McCarty

that I was gonna take over. You go after him, Trask.

Stop the train and drag him off!

It's the first vacation I've had in 12 years

and McCarty goes and pulls a trick like that on me, Wyatt.

Trask, you go after him. He's your man.

Mr. Pierce don't know Doc. McCarty. He wants you.

I'll die first, right here beside my catfish!

Shoot me! Go ahead! Fire away!

'Look, Earp, we don't want no trouble. You know Mr. Pierce.'

He sent us after doc here and we gotta bring him in.

Or else.

- Mr. Pierce really feeling bad? - He sure is.

He's got the dangest belly ache you've ever seen.

Good, good. Let him suffer for a while.

Just when Wyatt finds me the nicest biggest catfish hole...

Will you stop?

You go on back to Dodge. We'll follow you.

Alright. But no more cat fishing. You promise?

We'll follow you just as soon as we break camp. Now go on.

Alright. Thanks, marshal.

Now come on.

No!

No, Wyatt. Wyatt, no please. Alright, I'll go.

Give me my fishy. Give me.

Well, we can get back here tomorrow.

The only excuse I can make for Doc. McCarty is that

he's tired too.

Saw his chance to take a rest, and he took it.

Now there's no law that says you havta treat Shanghai Pierce.

But ethically and morally I think...

Now, will you shut up? This is no easy medical case, Wyatt.

The last time Shanghai Pierce had a big belly ache

he wanted me to cure the pain in five minutes.

He said if I didn't he'd have his men set fire to my office.

They would have done it too.

Well, you stopped the pain, didn't you?

Any fool could have done that with opium tincture.

But I dint cure Shanghai. The next time it'll be worse.

Wyatt, you gonna get us both killed.

But what's wrong with Shanghai Pierce?

What's wrong with him?

Oh, that old fool.

He'll eat or drink anything he can get his hands on.

He's probably got a bad appendix a set of stomach ulcers.

The worst thing that's wrong he's got two million dollars.

A hundred cow hands like Trask.

If it's the death of Shanghai it will be the death of me.

And you!

And him. Come on, let's get out of here.

I'd say.

I can hardly wait to get home, Wyatt, to eat this fish.

Blasted, you both.

- The pain's still bad? - It's getting worse.

Where is that scallywag of a doctor?

Trask said he would come in right in.

Thought maybe an ice pack might help.

- Now, take your boots off... - No!

Go get doctor Fabrique! And nobody touches those boots.

By George, if I can't make it I wanna go out

like a man with my boots on.

Alright, Mr. Pierce, alright. I just thought that...

Tessie, stop thinking. Go hurry the doctor!

Here's the doctor now.

'You no good old quack. Running out on me.'

What are you trying to do, Wyatt? I'm a sick man!

Oh, shut up.

- Young woman, you a nurse? - Well, no.

I didn't think so. Now get outta here!

Get out! Hold that, Wyatt.

Give me my stethoscope.

You're not worth all this trouble.

Don't forget now, you're to take half a glass every 4 hours.

Bottoms up. Bottoms up!

That's better.

Why, he had more gas in him than a founded steer?

How many times do I have to tell you not to mix cucumbers

bourbon whiskeys, steak, onions and blueberry pie.

No! It's no harm done, doc. I feel fine now.

- What's the verdict? - He had a bad appendix.

And listen you stupid idiot.

You better watch what you're eating.

Give your stomach a chance to calm down.

I really had myself a belly ache. A big one.

Just like everything about old Shanghai.

How much do I owe you, doc?

- Five dollars. - Five hundred, you mean.

I dragged you away from a fishing hole.

I said five dollars.

All you gotta do is just mail it to my office in Wichita.

Come on, Wyatt, we should get back to that catfish hole.

What's wrong? What's old doc sore about?

Well, Mr. Pierce, you wouldn't savvy.

Oh, now hold on, Wyatt. Now you and I had our troubles

down at Wichita. But that was a long time ago and far away.

You ordered your men to pull a gun on doc and me.

Sure, I had a belly ache.

Well, I don't like havin' a gun pulled on me neither does doc.

Oh, well, I apologize.

Well, that doesn't change anything, Mr. Pierce.

You think you can get tough with a doctor at medicine

and all you gotta do is smooth it over with a little money

and then apologize and everything will be alright.

I suggest you take that big belly ache of yours

and your big bank roll and get outta Dodge city.

Next time any of your cowhands pull a gun on me

when my back is turned I'll have more than a fishing pole handy.

Oh no! Wyatt.

Wyatt!

Hold it, doc.

Where do you think you are going?

It's none of your business.

Stand aside!

'You are not leaving till Mr. Pierce says so.'

They're givin' you any trouble, doc?

No, Wyatt, he's not givin' me any trouble.

Come on! Fix those patients.

You're not going anywhere until Mr. Pierce says you can.

Gentlemen, I've had enough of you.

Now, I'll take your guns.

Don't try.

Hold your fire, Wyatt.

This one is bleeding bad.

But he ain't no patient of mine.

Alright, break it up, everybody. Go on move!

Give me that handkerchief.

Get out of here. Hal, put a tourniquet on his arm.

We'll take him to Doc. McCarty's office.

Doc left for Kansas city.

It's alright. Doctor Fabrique will take care of him.

Put the tourniquet around his arm.

Wyatt, I ought to cuss you out to a fair thee well.

The catfish are biting

and you strap me down with two gunshot cases.

Yeah, I did you a favor

I could have dropped him out there at the fishing hole.

Come on. Pick him up. Let's take him over to doctor's place.

- Come on. - Come on!

You get him, Hal.

A big favor you've done me.

I've already wasted 40 minutes of my vacation.

You-you should have better sense to draw a gun on Wyatt Earp.

I've got a mind to rub a choice germ into your hand.

Oh-h, Wyatt.

See where McCarty keeps his phenyl solution.

Yes.

Look, doc, Mr. Pierce ain't gonna like this.

He might even pass the word to the boys for a real..

Will you stop scaring me? If you don't watch out

you're liable to wind up without any kind of a hand.

- Look, all I'm saying is... - Will you shut up?

Mr. Pierce better have faster guns

than you two if he's gonna have a Turkey shoot.

Here, doctor.

As the Deputy Yard said, "When you're through patching him up

you'll take him on over to the jail."

Oh! Fine! Fine! I'm sure they'll enjoy the trip.

Shanghai Pierce will bail him out in ten minutes.

Look, Wyatt, we're still going on the fishing trip, ain't we?

Right after.

Right after what?

Come here!

Oh, no!

I'll be.. Doctor will be with you in just a moment, folks.

I don't care how sick you are. I came up here for vacation.

- Go on, cuss. - I want to go fishing.

Go on, cuss. Swear the Hippocratic Oath.

Go home! Go home! Go home! Go home! Go home!

I'm sorry, folks. Doctor doesn't mean what he says.

He just.. Well, he doesn't feeling himself today now.

You just all sit here and kind of wait your turn, huh?

Mr. Pierce, did the doctor say...

Now, don't fret Tessie. I'm cured.

Tell me, how are Trask and Drango?

They're alright. That Marshal only wounded them.

The Deputy at the doctor's office said that

they have to go to jail though.

Marshal Wyatt Earp. I don't know about him, Tessie.

You know what, I even thought of him as a son.

I tried to make him my partner.

I really don't think you should be eating so much, Mr. Pierce.

Now, don't nag old Shanghai.

Now, that boy wants buffalo of me

and throw me in jail in Wichita?

Now, he has plucked two of my best men.

Well, alright, we'll bail them out.

I gotta do something about Wyatt Earp though.

My temper is getting mighty sore.

No!

What's that you say?

I said no. You're still a sick man.

I think we ought to head for St. Louis or Kansas city.

Oh! Please, Mr. Pierce.

They have stomach specialists and good hospitals.

Oh, no, Tessie. You're spoiling my appetite.

If none of the others will tell you the truth

I thought I was some use to you. Just by telling you the truth...

No, darn it. Tessie, sit down.

Sit down!

Now, tell me how many of my men are here in Dodge.

Dozen, fifteen. I didn't count.

Alright?

You go round them all up.

Gun fight?

No, you don't have to be there.

Alright, I'll tell you the truth.

Doc. Fabrique is the only pill-pusher

that I have any confidence in.

You saw how-how you got me back on my feet.

Well alright, I'm heading back to Texas.

Now, I want Doc to travel along with me.

- Kidnapping? - Well, no other way.

But that would mean a fight with Wyatt Earp.

Uh-uh.

Not if you do a little play acting.

Now Wyatt Earp has got one soft spot in him.

For a Yankee he's very chivalrous to all women.

So, now, Tessie, you go to him.

'Dr. Fabrique still working?'

Yeah, he sure is.

Lambert kid's got summer complaint.

Old grandpa Dickens heart's threatening.

I wired Doc. McCarty

telling him to hurry back as soon as he can.

You know for a real vacation

old Doc. Fabrique should've stayed in Wichita.

Hal, you and I think we got a tough, well..

Don't have to study medicine.

I know. People sure take advantage.

Just saw the Morgan sisters in the doc's waiting room.

They are the biggest fakes to pretend to be sick.

- They are people like that. - Hmm.

Oh oh.

Well, I thought Mr. Pierce had left town.

He's leaving.

- He wants me to go with him. - Oh.

He promised to send me to Saint Paris.

I could get a job in a show there.

- Well, sit down. - Thank you.

Mr. Pierce kind of specializes in..

Down-and-out show girls.

I didn't know that.

- He was such a gentleman and... - With so much money.

I-I suppose you're afraid of him.

He said he hired me as a nurse.

And if I try to quit he'd..

I don't know what I'm going to do, Mr. Earp.

Did he threaten to take you by force?

Look, I-I've some papers I've to sign here and then..

I'll take you over and get you a safe place to stay.

Hang on, Trask. You just bring the doc out.

We'll get him out here.

You're both bilious sitting around all day

in your millinery shop, get outta here..

Mr. Pierce wants to see you, Doc.

Well, I don't want to see him.

- How'd you two get out of jail? - The judge let us out on bond.

Mr. Pierce is in the carriage, right outside.

He wants a final check-up before we leave for Texas.

I've discharged him.

And you can tell that pig-headed old fool

that as far as I am concerned I will not go out there and..

Mr. Pierce, are you sick again?

- Got a pain, get that doc. - Well, he's right here.

Stop faking, Shanghai, and you're no patient of mine.

If you don't tell Trask to let me go

I'll have Wyatt Earp throw you in jail.

He's a goner. His heart.

Will you shut up?

I'll examine him.

Fancy pants!

Uh uh. He's gone and done it.

He's got a hard appendix. It's just one chance.

Drive him to that army station out of the old fort.

Wyatt! Wyatt!

Can I get any police protection in this town?

Mr. Pierce! He's not dead, is he?

No, ma'am. He's got the appendicitis.

Doc, he'll never make it to the fort.

I think the Doc oughta operate right now.

No! No, I won't!

- Wait a minute! - No!

You let me kind of handle this.

Wait a minute!

Now look, he's real sick, isn't he?

Just good as dead right now.

Well, couldn't you operate?

- No. - Why not?

Why should I operate on a man

who treated Doctor like a cow hand?

Alright now, doctor.

Now, what is the real reason you don't wanna operate?

I don't wanna take the chance, Wyatt. Why should I?

Shanghai Pierce's men might kill me in case anything goes wrong.

But they're gonna be just as hostile to you, if you refuse.

Yeah! Look, Wyatt, I ain't gettin' any rest here.

If you're a really a friend of mine

you'll hold off Shanghai Pierce's crowd

and give me a head start back to Wichita. Hmm?

Well, if that's the way

that's the way you look at it, doctor.

- Doctor. - Hey! Wait a minute.

Are you saying I ain't a doctor?

- Well.. - Alright.

I'll operate. Haul that Shanghai Pierce over to the hotel.

I'll be over there as soon as I collect the proper tools.

I ain't a doctor! Huh!

Out of my way!

- Out of my way! - Come on, back it up. Hurry!

Look, Hal, I'm gonna give Doc a hand.

If any of Shanghai's men show up here packing guns

don't fool around with 'em. Take 'em.

Right.

- Lie down, Mr. Pierce. - Where is that old butcher?

He'll be here any minute now.

- Now, Tessie, you stay here. - I will, Mr. Pierce.

Rest of you wait in the bedroom.

I don't think old doc's knife will slip on purpose.

But it just might.

I will have guns on him, Mr. Pierce.

Well, go on. Get out!

Now, Tessie, give me just one little sniff of your good luck.

No, Mr. Pierce.

- Hello, doctor! - Huh!

What's marshal Earp doing here?

He's my assistant. Any more foolish questions?

Now, you've to make a long expertise Doc.

- This is a little show gal. - Ah-h-h.

Oh! Stop your moaning, you ain't dead yet.

Listen, doc, can I have one shot of whiskey?

No! Young woman, can you handle ether without fainting?

- I'll do it. - No, Wyatt.

I want you to swab up after me.

And then I want you to hold the clamps

but right now, get rid of that artillery.

Young lady, you take this.

Put it over his face. Take the ether.

Let it start drippin' out slowly.

Wyatt, go there and get that lamp.

Mostly you'll be holding the lamp, Wyatt.

Just raise the other one, Marshal and take it easy.

We just wanna make sure that Doc here don't let that knife slip.

'Cause if something bad happens to Mr. Pierce

the same is gonna happen to you.

Why don't you stop your jabbering?

Mr. Trask, hold to that gun

wait downstairs and take your friends with you.

Trask, why don't you clear out of here?

Oh! Stop it! Go downstairs, Trask.

If anything goes wrong there's plenty of time to get even.

Alright. Downstairs, boys.

Hold it, lady.

He's under. Bring the light closer, Wyatt.

Keep that ether drippin' slowly, now.

How do you think that went?

The appendix hadn't busted. No sign of peritonitis yet.

I'd say there's a good chance, Wyatt.

Should he breathing like this, doctor?

He's lucky to be breathing at all.

Look, I want you to stay here and see

that he doesn't eat any pork chops when he wakes up.

We're gonna go down to the bar.

How long will you be gone, doctor?

Well, Ms. Nosey, that's a professional secret.

Mister... you won't let the doctor get drunk, will you?

Ma'am, I don't think the doctor can't get drunk enough

to forget or forgive any of this.

Wyatt, Wyatt! Come on!

Comin'.

How about it, doc? Mr. Pierce gonna make it?

- None of your business. - Why you...

Looks like this one is dead, Wyatt.

No, it just scratched his skull.

Now, you've gone and ruined my dang vacation.

You know, I should have shot 'em any way

even if hadn't gone for their guns.

Anyone pulls a gun on me when my back's turned.

Better make good on it.

- Professional ethics, doctor. - Yeah.

Sorry to going off in such a hurry, Wyatt.

Doc. McCarty will be coming back in a few hours.

Let him take care of his own patients.

You wanna get outta here before anything else happens.

I can't say I blame you. Sorry it turned out this way.

Hold it, doc. You can wait a minute for old Shanghai.

You ain't leaving here until I pay you your fee.

I pay all my debts in cash.

Tessie, give him that roll of bills.

Here, $2,000.

Mr. Pierce wants you to use it for a new hospital.

Not a rich cent.

Doc. Fabrique thanks you.

You better take it. You old butcher you.

And, Wyatt..

Oh, here he goes again.

Busted his stitches. Look out, lady.

Let's take him in, Wyatt.

Go pick up doc's money. He earned it.

♪ Well, he cleaned up the country ♪

♪ The old Wild West country ♪

♪ He made law and order prevail ♪

♪ And none can deny it ♪

♪ The legend of Wyatt ♪

♪ Forever will live on the trail ♪

♪ Oh, Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp ♪

♪ Brave, courageous and bold ♪

♪ Long live his fame and long live his glory ♪

♪ And long may his story be told ♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.